The Detour
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: Set starting with The Closer, Season 3, "Next of Kin,"...Andy, Provenza, Fritz, Brenda, Brenda's parents, and a suspect are stuck driving an RV across the country at Christmas. What more could go wrong? This is A/U and only has bits and pieces related back to the main story. Here, Pope decides to send FID to check on the suspect...
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note-This story is going to be A/U, as in it's going to stray from the storyline. That's my choice as a writer. I can promise now there will be topics people won't like. I've had several people request I write about these topics, and this is for them. Some won't like this. That's fine with me. Proceed with caution, and if you become disinterested in the story, stop reading. This is fiction.**

 **The story is set during _The Closer_ , Season 3, "Next of Kin," where the group gets stuck in an RV over Christmas. _The Closer_ ended their season with this episode set, and I'm going to go into fantasy type land with this. These characters are not my own. I enjoy borrowing them.**

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He slammed the old door and threw himself down on the bed. The springs creaked, and Andy groaned. Provenza looked up from the other bed in the dingy motel room and raised his eyebrows at him.

"What? The chief still talking in that RV? Even worse, did you have to listen to Willie Rae sing Christmas carols again?" he huffed as he looked back at his crossword puzzle. He'd been frustrated with the puzzle for the last hour. The tiny Texas town had limited resources, and even finding a crossword in the run-down gas station nearby had been a challenge. He'd found one, and for the last couple hours, he'd been working through his new book.

"No, just leave me alone," Andy grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked up at the ceiling, and the silence in the room was only broken with a long, drawn out sigh from Andy.

"Something's got you irritated, and now, that's irritating me. I was perfectly content here, well," he rolled his eyes and looked around at the room. It was old and dirty, which for Provenza to notice was saying a lot. He was used to meager accommodations, but tonight's stay was almost a new low. "I was doing fine here, all by my lonesome, until you came sulking back into the room. Where have you been anyway? You've been gone hours. I've tried to sleep, and I can't. The time zones are messing me up, and this whole trip has just been a disaster from the start."

"I don't want to talk about it," Andy grumbled again. He reached behind his head, fumbling for a pillow, and when he got his hands on one, he pulled it over his face.

"Please don't die here," Provenza sputtered at him. "It's bad enough we're hauling this suspect across the country with Chief and her family. We don't have the proper paperwork, and then, of all people, Raydor was sent to join us. I can't have you pull the plug now and be left in this town to deal with getting your body back to L.A. too, so whatever you do, just wait until we get home to pull the plug on your sorry life."

"Stop talking!" Andy barked through the muffled pillow. "Don't mention her either."

"Her? Which particular 'her' do you not want me to mention? All three of the women on this trip are annoying me to no end!" Provenza exclaimed.

"Raydor! Don't talk about her. I think I'm going to be sick," he grumbled.

"Are you drinking?" Provenza now sat up and twisted so his feet were on the floor. He'd been relaxing against the bed, his back leaning against the headboard while he worked his crosswords. The drive had been taxing on everyone. It was a nightmare of a situation, stuck in an RV for days with Chief, Fritz, Willie Rae, Clay, and the suspect. He was glad Andy had wanted to go down and sit in the run-down bar and lounge area, even if the idea did seem a bit odd coming from an alcoholic. "Flynn! Answer me! Did you fall off the wagon? Did you have a drink or something?"

"No! It's worse, in a different way," Andy groaned, his face still hidden under the pillow. Provenza stood and walked over where he snatched the pillow from Andy to stare at him. He bent down so his face was in Andy's face. Andy had his eyes closed, and when he opened them, he came almost nose to nose with Provenza. "Get off me! Why are you in my face?"

"I'm checking to see if you smell like alcohol. You do, but it's not your breath. No, you just smell like cheap, stale cigarettes and alcohol because you've been sitting in a dingy bar. What is going on, Flynn? Start making some sense before I tell Chief you want to bunk with all of them," Provenza told him.

Andy shook his head, but he finally sat up, draping his arms at his side. Provenza took a step back to look at him, and Andy dropped his head. "You should have gone to that place with me. I'm blaming you for this."

"Blaming me for what? Even I have standards, and that place is a total dump. I have no interest to get drunk there, nope. I've been doing just fine here with the six pack I bought at the gas stations with my crossword puzzle. I dare say it's cleaner in this room, but it's better than the bar. Now, tell me what is irritating you now, or I'll be at that RV, knocking on the door to tell Wille Rae just how much you want to sing Christmas carols with her on the drive tomorrow," he smirked.

"I slept with her!" Andy finally bellowed, as he gestured with his arms. "What was I thinking?"

"Wait a minute," Provenza nodded and shook his head, trying to figure out the situation before he continued, "Flynn, you've been gone a couple hours. Who did you find to sleep with already? Is there some waitress? Who around here is that desperate?"

"Raydor! Are you happy? I slept with Raydor!" Andy exploded in anger. He stood and started to pace around the room, while Provenza stood there, stone-faced and ghostly white.

"Raydor? You have been drinking. There's no way you would sleep with her, much less that she would sleep with you. Raydor was His Holiness' idea of making an already awful trip even worse, sending her here to check on the suspect," Provenza grumbled. "Start making some sense, Flynn! You're drunk, aren't you?"

"I'm not drunk!" Andy turned and screamed at him. "You want the details? Fine, here it is. I slept with Radyor. Let me repeat that because I know you are old and can't hear that well." Andy leaned down toward Provenza and yelled into his ear, "I slept with Raydor! It just happened, here, tonight, in this awful place, just a few doors down in her equally dingy room. It happened, and now, I'm wondering why I was the moron who thought that was a good idea. Of all the bad ideas I've ever had, this one has to be right up there now at the top of my list." Andy ran his hand through his hair and continued to pace the room. Provenza, now speechless, sat down on the edge of his bed and just continued to stare at Andy.

Andy continued to pace over the next few moments, and finally Provenza pulled himself out of his shocked state to inquire more, "How? You two hate each other. We all hate her. I know you play the field, but how did that happen? That has to be some sort of record. She just got here earlier tonight."

"I'm well aware!" Andy yelled again, raising his hands above his head as he expressed his frustration. "I'm almost not sure how it happened too, and I probably wouldn't believe it if I hadn't just participated in the deed myself. It happened."

"Well?" Provenza asked.

"Well, I went down to the bar. That much you know. It's late, and this town is about as depressing as it gets. Leave it to Clay to find a dive like this outside of Dallas. I don't know why we couldn't stay at that much nicer one closer to the city, but oh now, we had to keep driving for the better deal. Of course, we know Raydor was sent here when Pope found out about this mess, that we had to drive the suspect across the country because we were put on the no-fly list! So, as you know, Raydor arrived here tonight, she flew into Dallas, and then, she showed up here at the park."

"Yes, I'm well aware, Flynn. I've been here to see all of that. I'm just glad we weren't asked to bunk with her, but sounds like you did anyway," Provenza let out a light choking sound as he shook his head. "You really just slept with Raydor? Even I have standards, Flynn."

"I'm aware! I thought I had standards too. So, I go into the bar, and she's there. Of course, she's there tonight. This town has nothing else going on for it. So, she's there along with around four or five other locals. I'm sure they'd been hitting on her, but she had been drinking some. She wasn't drunk, but even I was a little worried one of these morons around here would start hitting on her. I know I don't like her, but we even have standards to protect our own. I didn't want to sit with her, but I did, mainly to keep the dirt bags from drooling all over her. I mean, as much as I don't like her, she is hot," he sighed. "We're there, and at first, she tells me off, tells me she doesn't need anyone there to protect her, that she's a big girl. I tell her I'm not interested in that, but I just want to get away from you for an hour. So, we sit. We sat there in silence for almost five minutes, which was weird itself. She kept drinking her beer-by the way-she drinks beer which surprised me," he paused and shook his head. "I got my standard cranberry juice, and we just sat. A few of the vultures backed off and went back to their pool game. She and I just stared at the television over the bar, and even now, I couldn't tell you what was on it. Finally, I break the silence. I ask her about work.

 _"How long are you going to be here?" I sipped my drink and looked to her. She looked back at me, almost surprised I'd asked._

 _"Thanks to the mess you and your chief have created, I'll be with all of you for the entire drive. You are stuck with me until we are back inside the LAPD," she said in her almost uppity, sarcastic tone._

 _"So, you aren't just here to check in on the suspect and fly back on your broomstick to L.A.?" I asked her._

 _"No," she threw me this fake smile. "You are all stuck with me. Merry Christmas. Santa flew me in just for the holidays. Thanks for ruining my plans. I'm here as your present, and I know you are just all so excited to see me."_

We settled back into silence for a few moments because I was pretty surprised to hear she was going to be tagging along on the rest of the trip. I mean, I knew Pope would do something stupid since he decided to send her to check on the suspect and all, but the rest of the trip? She's going to be with us for days! That makes sleeping with her even worse!" Andy exclaimed.

"How did you get from that to the horizontal tango in her room?" Provenza raised an eyebrow.

Andy shrugged, "She'd had a couple beers. I don't remember how we started talking then, but oh wait," he raised his hand and snapped his finger. I remember now. Her kid, or I guess it was one of her kids, called her. She got all weepy with the kid, and I heard her tell him, maybe a her," he frowned and shook his head before he continued, "I don't remember, but I heard her tell the kid that she'd arrived. She said the flight was all set for the kid tomorrow to go to the grandparents. So, when she finished, I asked her what was going on with that. She told me she was pretty down because she was missing Christmas with her kids. She has two of them. I knew that much from my drinking days with Jack. She was supposed to spend Christmas at home with her kids, who had come home from college, but this was going to mess up everything. When she'd been told by Pope at work today to fly here, she'd scrambled to get the kids some tickets to see the grandparents, so they weren't alone on Christmas. Remember," Andy looked at Provenza, "Jack's out of the picture."

"Well, that's a good riddance if I've heard one," Provenza scowled. "I've never liked that guy. He must see something in her to keep crawling back home to that, and she's no better. As far as I'm concerned, the two of them deserve each other. She's a miserable person, and he's his own mess."

"Yeah, whatever," Andy rolled his eyes. "She told me they've been separated a long time, and that didn't seem to stop her from what just happened. I still don't know how I was so willing."

"Oh, I'll tell you," Provenza pointed a finger at Andy, "you just couldn't resist a challenge. You never can. I might get married a lot, and that's my thing, but you, my friend, like to play with fire. It's almost like the bigger the challenge the better, and that's all I can figure with Radyor. So, how did you end up with her?"

Andy rolled his eyes, "She started getting all sappy about the holidays, and I told her I'd walk her back to her room because really, she didn't need more to drink. Like I said, she wasn't drunk, but she'd had a couple beers, and I could see things going downhill fast if she stayed there longer. She even apologized as we walked, telling me that she didn't like her personal life to be part of her work life. When we got to her door, I started to turn away, and she reached for my hand. It was this hand," he said, holding up the one that had been injured back in L.A.. She hadn't noticed my hand was injured, and then she asked about it. I told her about the chase we had where I injured it, and she just looked at it. It was almost creepy, and next thing I know, she's almost lunging at me, her lips on mine. I didn't resist it. Like I said, she's hot, and there aren't many in this town who are right now. We sort of fell into her room and into the bed. The rest," he sighed.

"You sort of fell into her room?" Provenza raised his eyebrows. "Flynn, someone had to open the door and make the conscious decision to continue with this all," he gestured.

"Yeah, she shoved the room card at me while she was fumbling with her clothes, my clothes," he said and rolled his eyes. "I mean, we didn't really take long, if you get my drift. It just happened. Then, it was over. I don't even get it, other than to say we were two adults, irritated with our current situation, stuck here in this awful motel, and it just happened. It's not like this is a five-star resort where we had some suite. Her room looks just like this, and quite frankly, I'd like to forget everything about this town and trip."

"Spare me the nitty gritty," Provenza flashed a sarcastic scowl at Andy and shook his head. "How did it end? Really, Flynn, of all the people, it had to be her? She's going to make our lives miserable at work. You do realize that, don't you?"

"I mean, yeah," he tried to hide a grin, "we had a good time while it lasted. Look, when it was over, she just got up and started for the bathroom. She almost whispered, "I think you should go," as she gathered her clothing. She disappeared into the bathroom, and I did what she suggested. I got my things and left. I was still putting on my socks outside as I walked to our room.

"You just left her? Flynn, I know you, and I almost can't believe this! It's like one of those questions about if this was the last person on Earth, would you? Here, you did it with her!" Provenza exclaimed and then sighed. "You're going to ruin this trip even more. It's bad enough we're stuck with Fritz, Chief, her parents, and our suspect, but now, you're sleeping with Raydor!"

"Not sleeping! I slept with her, over and done. It won't happen again," he looked pointedly at Provenza and said with a serious tone.

"Oh, it won't," Provenza pointed at him. "I'm making sure you two stay away from each other. That's the last thing I need is Raydor punishing me for you being an idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

"Why are you still standing out here? I thought you were going to hide in the RV today?" Provenza asked Andy as he walked up to him in the dirt parking area and looked around at the surroundings. Andy was standing outside the RV, his small bag at his side, sunglasses on, and he frowned as he looked at Provenza.

"I am trying to hide in the RV. I can't get inside it at the moment! Clay is still in there working on that bathroom window. I need to get in there and into some corner before Radyor gets out here. Last thing I want to do is chit chat after last night. I can't believe I was such an idiot," he groaned.

"Oh, I can," Provenza gestured at him with a finger in the air. "You just can't even keep to yourself. You had to have THAT," he enunciated and shuddered. "I will never understand that at all. Now, even when I have to deal with her, I will think of you and your stupid mistake. Idiot," he grumbled.

"What could be taking Clay so long? We taped up that window the other day, and it's been holding. It's not going to fix itself right now. I need to get out of sight," Andy said and looked around the place. No one else was visible. He shook his head, irritated at the current situation. This trip was a nightmare, and all he wanted to do was get back to L.A. now. Chief and Fritz had gone to grab some food. She'd been complaining about running out of candy bars and other snacks, and Brenda had made it known to everyone that her mother didn't like her junk food addiction. Wille Rae and their suspect were inside the RV where she had cooked him eggs and bacon. Andy had tried to sit in there to wait it out, but Clay had told him to wait outside so he had room to move around in the RV.

"Just where do you think you are going to hide today? That RV is big, but not big enough to hide from her. Don't even think we are going to let you two cozy it up back there in the bedroom," he smirked at Andy.

"Are you insane?" Andy turned to him, now irritated. He started to gesture with his hands, "Once was dumb enough. I'm not going after Raydor while we are all stuck in an RV across the country. I just want to curl up in a corner and pretend I'm sleeping all day. The less I have to see her, the better."

"Huh, little formal to be still calling her Raydor, isn't it?" Provenza looked at him.

"That's her name! I call you Provenza. I don't see a problem," Andy continued to gesture.

"Well, let me remind you that you and I are FRIENDS, only friends. You aren't even that with her, but with what you did, I'd say you should be on a first name basis. I mean, did you talk to her at all? What did you call her?" You know she has a name," Provenza tried not to chuckle.

"Of course, I know she has a name!" Andy exclaimed. "I'm not going to start calling her Sharon because we," he gestured wildly before continuing, "you know, that. I'm perfectly fine forgetting it ever happened and getting this awful trip over now. It's almost Christmas, and I need to be back in L.A., really anywhere else other than stuck around Raydor after that."

"Was she that bad?" Provenza grimaced and then his eyes got wide. "Were you that bad?"

"Provenza! Can we drop it? Now, I can't believe I told you. Why did I have to just let things happen? Slept with Radyor," Andy sighed and dropped his head.

"That is the question of the day, Flynn," Provenza pointed his finger at him again. "Why did you? So, she kissed you, and you decided to go for it? You're that desperate she was the best thing around here. Work will never be the same."

"It was just in the moment. I can't explain. I don't know what I was thinking, and obviously, I wasn't. Oh, she's coming," Andy turned away, trying to look casual as he did so, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk to her. Provenza looked toward Sharon. She was walking across the parking lot, her bag still by the door. As she was walking toward them, Brenda and Fritz walked around the corner.

"Why are y'all standing out here?" she gestured at them. "Let's get a move on today. The sooner we get going, the sooner we can get back home. I need to get out of this RV."

"You and me both, Chief," Andy nodded and sighed. "Just exactly when are we going to get to L.A.?" he asked, trying to avoid eye contact with Sharon who had now joined the group. The door to the RV opened, and Clay started down the stairs.

Clay cleared his throat to address the group, "We should be in L.A. in another couple days, Lieutenant Flynn. By my calculations, we can get to El Paso tonight. It's a haul across this big state of Texas, and with gas stops, it's going to take us all day to get to El Paso."

"All day?" Provenza asked. "We're going to still be in the same state tonight? That's almost depressing," he sighed and let out a low chuckle as he turned to Andy where he rolled his eyes.

"All day," Clay nodded. "Now, tomorrow, we will make some progress. We should get to the other side of Phoenix that day. Desert driving most of the way for us, so get ready. That will make Wille Rae happy. She has a cousin who lives in Lake Havasu who wants to meet us for dinner that night in Quartzsite. Plus, I've heard stories about the great RV campground there, and we can check it out."

"Oh, Daddy, at that point, we aren't that far from L.A., so wouldn't it be better to just get us home? We have a suspect with us and all," Brenda sighed.

"Now, Brenda, you and I both know this trip is only happening because you made us change our Christmas plans. I know you aren't suggesting we not see your momma's relatives because you want to get back to L.A. for work. You told me that you didn't have to be in L.A. by any certain day or time. Your suspect is fine and will enjoy a nice dinner with us before he's thrown in jail. I know you won't complain about the drive or how long it's taking. We'll stop in El Paso tonight, Quartzite tomorrow night, and then we'll drive into L.A. after that. That way, we also won't hit rush hour traffic," Clay explained. "We'll still make it to L.A. before Christmas Day, and you can get your work done while we park the RV in front of your house. Then, we can spend Christmas together and send your colleagues here home to their families to save what little is left of the holiday."

"No offense, Clay," Provenza shook his head, "but there's no such thing as light traffic in L.A. as far as I'm concerned. It always feels like rush hour traffic, and with this plan, we'll be getting in on Christmas Eve anyway. At that point, at least to me, it doesn't really matter when we get back. We have work to do whatever day it is, even if it's Christmas."

"Still, we are going to enjoy our drive since we have to drive," he looked to everyone. "The RV can only go so fast, and Brenda, remember, this is your mess. Now, we are ready to go. Everyone ready? Captain Raydor, adding you makes things a little tight," Clay turned to address her. "The RV is filling up quickly."

"Oh, I won't be riding in the RV," Sharon spoke up, and the group turned toward her.

"Thank goodness," Brenda flashed a grin and continued, "Pope already wants you back in L.A., I suppose? You heading to the airport this morning after you saw with your own eyes that everything here is okay?"

"Nothing like that," Sharon smiled. "I'll just be following the RV with that car I rented. That's what Chief Pope asked me to do. The suspect stays in your possession, but I'll be following along for the duration of the trip. I'm not here to impose, but I'm here as more of an escort to L.A., per Chief Pope's request."

"Are you kidding me?" Provenza turned to Sharon. "Captain, not to be questioning your authority or that of His Holiness, but you are here to just follow along? It's like a cross country vacation adventure for you."

"Rest assured, Lieutenant," she said crisply, "it is not a vacation. Trust me. I would much rather be home for Christmas to spend the trip with my family." Sharon turned her eyes from Provenza and surveyed most of the group. She briefly looked to Andy, but he'd put on his sunglasses and was making sure not to look her way. Provenza called her back to the conversation.

"Captain, did His Holiness give you any additional instructions for this drive?" he asked.

"Lieutenant," Brenda interrupted and smiled at him, "I'm sure if Captain Raydor is going to be tagging along with us, we could spare one body in the RV to ride with her, and maybe you could ask your questions there. I'm here to do my job, not worry about hers. Since you are so interested in her transportation, I'll let you decide if that is going to be you or Lieutenant Flynn first. Everyone else, let's load up and get on the road."

"I'll ride with the captain," Provenza raised his hand, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to do, but trying to spare Andy. At the same moment, Sharon spoke too.

"Lieutenant Flynn can ride with me first. I'd rather not spend the first couple hours of the drive today arguing more with Lieutenant Provenza about this work trip," Sharon explained.

"Me?" Andy piped in, looking around and pointing at himself. "I didn't sleep well. I was going to stretch out in the RV. Provenza volunteered."

"Hmm, you can sleep just fine in the car, and it should be nice and quiet," Sharon said.

Andy threw a glance toward Provenza, and even with the sunglasses, Provenza caught on and tried to speak.

"Chief?" he asked.

"Oh, this is getting out of hand. I don't want to deal with arguing. Honestly, it's like you are children in a fight. Andy, ride with the captain. Lieutenant, get inside and start working on your crossword," Brenda gestured.

"I've made hard boiled eggs that I turned into egg salad for lunch!" Willie Rae said happily to the group. "Oh, this is going to be a good day. We won't even have to stop for lunch."

Andy frowned at Provenza and shook his head. He looked toward Sharon, the first he'd done so for the day, "I'm sleeping, and we are stopping for lunch, even if you have to catch up to them later. I'm not eating egg salad sandwiches," he told her as he walked by her. She just nodded and turned to follow him.

Provenza stood there, waiting for the group to get inside the RV as he looked back at Andy with the Sharon following behind him. The two walked toward her rental car, and he just shook his head while he mumbled, "Idiots."

It was going to be a long day, and at this point, Provenza wasn't sure who had the better situation. Andy was stuck riding in the car with the captain, but he was stuck in the RV with everyone else and egg salad sandwiches for lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

"So?" he asked once the car was on the interstate heading west. The RV was directly in front of them, and on top of everything else, he was dreading that this was going to be his view for the next few days.

"So?" she repeated with a quick glance toward him.

"Look," he sighed, "I don't want this to be awkward. It's bad enough we really don't like each other, and now, this has happened." As much as Andy wanted to hide in the car, he had decided to just get this over so he could relax.

She shrugged, "It is what it is. Two people used each other for a night. It happens. It's almost Christmas, and it was a way to forget the fact I'm not at home with my kids. For you, I can't speak what need it met, but that was it for me."

Andy nodded and tapped his fingers on his knee. This wasn't going horribly, which is what he'd been dreading. He'd thought it would be awkward the whole drive, but it seemed that in just a few minutes, the two had almost cleared the air.

"I don't know what it was for me," he said and gestured. "I mean, yeah, I've been reminded over and over for weeks now it's the holiday season, and once again, I'm a crap dad who won't see my kids. They want nothing to do with me, and I'm dealing with it. They have their perfect family with my ex and her husband, have for years. I'm just the drunk who sends money for whatever they need. My ex brainwashed them long ago, so whatever. Holidays are a mess. Honestly, I don't mind working them because I have nothing better going on. Provenza and I, as long as he's not married at the time, usually hang out in some bar and sometimes find someone there. We've done that before for the holidays, so yeah, I suppose it's just that this time, I knew the someone," he looked to her and nodded.

"We can just drop it. I'm not looking for anything. I've got a Jack, a problem I'm trying to deal with, but you can't easily divorce someone who doesn't want to be found. I've about half a mind to sit in casino after casino in Vegas to serve him properly. That's another mess. Last night, though," she glanced to him quickly and put her eyes back on the road, "thanks. It was fun and nice to just forget the world for a moment even on this ridiculous work trip. I never thought I'd be with you, but the moment, it was just right, just what I needed."

"Sure," he nodded and looked out the window. As he continued to look out, he cleared his throat to speak again, "I have to be honest. I thought this would be a really awkward conversation, and I was dreading this whole day. I didn't know what you wanted or expected. We don't exactly see eye to eye at work, so I just thought this could blow up on us."

"What, like I'm going to try and use this to put you in some harassment seminar?" she asked, again with a quick glance toward him and then back toward the road. He was still looking out the window. "That's hardly my goal. Like I said, it was what it was. I had a very long, depressing day. You happened to be the one next to me at the bar," she shrugged.

He just nodded, "So, if it hadn't been me?"

Sharon pursed her lips, and this time when she glanced toward him, he was gazing at her with his head tilted, "I'm not sure. You seemed safe, at least last night, in that I know you. I knew it wouldn't be a safety issue or anything else. I knew your reputation and that it would be just what it was, one night. I don't do this often, rarely ever, but it was what it was. My husband has been gone almost 20 years. He's tried to float in and out of my life, and sometimes, I've allowed it. Andy, I'm not holding onto something here, holding out for some great romance."

He shifted in his seat and nodded, dropping his hands in his lap. He looked to her and then back toward the side window. He started to shake his head and chuckle, "You know my name."

She raised her eyebrows as her gaze met his, "Why wouldn't I know your name? Oh, you're mocking this," she stated to him.

"No, I mean, I'm always just Lieutenant Flynn, the big screw up at work. I can hear you reprimanding me in my head right now. To me, you're Raydor or Captain Raydor, like you don't have another name. I was doing the same thing last night when I got back to my room. I hope you realize I sort of told Provenza, and he said we were probably beyond formalities with everything. I kept calling you Raydor," he explained.

"I see," she pursed her lips and nodded. She let out a long breath, "I suppose I am not surprised you told Provenza. I can expect that he will be discreet?"

"Totally, that isn't something he really wants to know or is anxious to spread. Sorry, I didn't really think about keeping this between us. It's Provenza," he shrugged. "He and I have always been open about this type of thing."

"Knowing Provenza, I am not too worried, but I would ask that you not make this the office water cooler gossip. I've not gotten to where I am by sleeping around with other cops. You, I can say, would be the first for that with me, but I would like to ask that even with as much as we don't like each other professionally, you not spread it around," she looked to him.

"No intention to do so," he raised a hand. "You aren't really my type either," he admitted. "Last night," he paused to find the right wording, "it was just two people in the right circumstance."

"Hmm," she hummed and continued to focus on the road. The car grew quite for a few moments as each processed the conversation. Andy turned so he was facing her better than he had been. He shifted his seatbelt to do so.

"I gotta say that I just didn't want those locals trying to hit on you. I mean, cops, you know, we protect our own. I know you can handle things, but still, in a dive bar in a town like that," he shook his head. "I was just trying that safety in numbers. I didn't sit expecting to sleep with you."

"I know," she said as she rested her head on her hand which was now propped on the door. She drove with one hand and the other propped up, her hair falling over it. "Like I said, I'm well aware of the situation last night. I needed it. You needed it. It's over."

"Okay," Andy agreed. "This trip will make someone do about anything," he sighed. "This has been a disaster of a trip, and we're not even through Texas."

"I knew the second Pope told me about this trip it would be a nightmare. I still can't believe I'm stuck behind the chief's parents' RV and am following this thing all the way back to Los Angeles!" Sharon exclaimed.

"I'm guessing you heard all the details about how Provenza and I were supposed to fly the guy back?" Andy asked.

"I did, and again, no surprise that was a mess," she sighed.

"Hey! For once, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't Provenza's fault either. That dirt bag caused this whole mess," he explained to her, now gesturing with his hands.

"I know," she almost scolded him. "I just feel like everything about this has disaster written on it. This drive alone is insane," she sighed.

"I'll help with the driving," he offered. "I know it gets to be tiresome."

"I'm fine now, but thank you. I enjoy driving and might as well do it. I'd otherwise sit and just get more and more irritated about the holidays," she told him.

"Where are your kids? You only mentioned last night that they weren't going to be home now," Andy told her. "You have two? I think I remember that much."

She glanced at him, "We don't have to get personal now after last night."

"Do you have anything better to discuss? I was just asking. We can talk about Chief and her parents if you want," he flashed a fake smile at her.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "Two kids. Emily just turned 22 and will be graduating from college in the spring. She's going to New York after that to dance. Ricky just turned 19, also in college. Both were home for Christmas and have been the last two weeks. I suppose that's the one good thing, the fact I've spent some time with them already during their break. When I got word of this ridiculous trip, I bought them last minute tickets to go visit my parents for Christmas. That cost me a fortune, but at least this way they will have a decent holiday," she sighed.

He nodded, "Where are your parents then?"

"They are in Park City," she explained. "It's in Utah. They have a timeshare there, but they've been talking about moving there permanently. They live in Arizona, but they really don't like the heat. I can't stand the heat either, but that's also why I left it."

Andy rolled his eyes, "I'm aware Park City is in Utah. I might mess up at work on occasion, but I'm not an idiot. Are you from Arizona?" he asked.

"Outside of Phoenix, yes. I wasn't about to reveal that on this trip. I have no desire to have the chief's parents asking about my hometown. Ironic we will be driving through it, right next to my hometown and family, yet neither my parents nor my kids will be there. Anyway, they can ski and relax in Park City. I'll be fine alone whenever we get home."

"Sorry to hear your plans are ruined. It sounds tough, especially when you are basically a single parent," he told her.

"Enough about that," she told him. "Can we enjoy the silence for awhile?"

"No argument here," he shifted. "I'm going to take a nap if that's okay? I get sleepy on car rides."

"You just volunteered to drive, and now you tell me you get tired in the car?" she exclaimed.

"Well, I don't get tired if I'm driving. Okay with you if I sleep?" he scowled.

"Fine, yes," she waved at him. "I'm sorry I snapped. I'm still just thinking about the holidays. A run -down motel room in the desert doesn't scream Merry Christmas to me. I love Christmas, or I used to love it. I've been stuck working the last several years for it now."

"Yeah, same here," he grunted. "Let's add a grumpy Provenza in the room who snores, and now you know my issue."

"I'm well aware of how grumpy Provenza can be. He's not walking around singing my praises either. Everyone knows he and I have had our issues too, which is why you'll be riding here the rest of the way to L.A.," she told Andy. He looked up from where he'd turned his head to try and sleep.

"You serious? I'm riding with you the rest of the way?" he asked.

"Is that a problem? We've already discussed the awkward situation from last night, or what you deemed awkward. I'm fine with what happened," she pointed out to him. "I can deal with you in the car, but I'm not interested in riding with Provenza."

"Whatever," he shook his head. "I won't have to listen to Willie Rae sing Christmas carols. I won't have to deal with Chief and her parental issues. Yeah, this is fine. I'm going to take a nap," he told her.

"Fine," she sighed. "Listen, since this trip is such a bust, maybe we just use each other through the duration of the trip?"

Andy sat up quickly and turned toward her again. She was looking at the road again, but she glanced at him when he turned to her, "You are suggesting it again tonight?"

She shrugged, "We both admitted it was okay, fun even. You can forget I suggested it," she sighed.

"I'm not looking for some relationship. Last thing I need or want is to get back to L.A. and have to deal with drama. I don't do drama. I had enough of it with my ex. Right now, I leave work most nights and either go home, go to a meeting, or hang with Provenza. Sometimes, I find someone to take home. I'm okay with that. I am not going to get into some mess with you, no offense," he told her.

"I'm still in a married mess. I want nothing from you, well," she glanced at him and continued, "maybe just some companionship the next couple nights. That's it."

"Nothing else?" he asked.

"Nothing else," she shook her head. "Believe me, when we get home, I will want to forget all of this as much as you. I want nothing from you. I promise that. We can go back to business as usual when we are back in Los Angeles."

"Provenza might figure it out. I mean, we are sharing a room," Andy explained.

"I realize that," she nodded. "So?"

"Fine," he nodded. "I can agree to that."


	4. Chapter 4

Provenza smacked down his crossword puzzle and pointed his finger at Andy as he walked into the hotel room, "Where have you been? You disappeared as soon as we got here, and I handed you a room card."

"Out," Andy sighed. He walked to the empty bed and threw his bag on it. He unzipped it, started to dig around inside of it, and he pulled out his toiletries. He started toward the bathroom, fully aware Provenza was staring at him.

"Don't just leave it like that. You were with her again, weren't you? One time my-" he stopped when Andy turned back toward him.

"Just don't start with me, okay?" Andy gave him a look and turned back to the bathroom. "I'm getting a shower. Don't put out an APB on me. I'm just in the bathroom," he smirked and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Provenza waited on the edge of his bed, and when he heard Andy start to open the bathroom door, he moved quickly to get more information.

"Are you insane? You're playing with fire, here, Flynn," he gestured again.

Andy flashed a fake smile at him and pushed himself by him, "Actually, you are the one who told me she had a name, so really, if you are being correct, I'm not playing with fire, just Sharon." He turned back to Provenza who gave him a horrified look.

"Just what happened in that car today to make this sound like a good idea, a second time around you idiot? I knew riding with her was a bad idea, not that I want do ride with her, but I think I will tomorrow," he started to shout at Andy.

"Hey, just knock it off and stay quiet. She's two rooms over, and the chief and all are outside, not far either. So, we are doing this on the trip, big deal," he shrugged. "It's none of your business. If this was anyone else, you would be happy for me."

"That's the problem, Flynn! She's not just anyone else. It's the captain! Dare you forget she runs FID and can make, has made, both our lives a living nightmare at times? How did you get from wanting to hide from her this morning to just," he gestured wildly, "that, what I know just happened down the hall?"

"Easy," Andy shrugged. "She was cool with it. I'm cool with it. We started talking in the car today, and we agreed that while the trip is a total disaster, we can still have a good time. Provenza, it's fine. She's okay with it all, and I am too," he flashed a smile at him. Provenza sat down on the bed again and glared up at Andy.

"What exactly did you two discuss? You really slept with her again?" Provenza asked.

"Yup," Andy shrugged as he dug through his bag again. "Thanks for covering for me, whatever you said. I'm sure someone asked where I was for dinner."

"I just told them after your long day riding with her that you wanted to get a shower and relax in silence," he explained. I ate with Chief and Fritz. Wille Rae was making dinner for Clay and the suspect. Everyone assumed Raydor was just off by herself as she usually is," Provenza told him.

"Yeah, well, regardless of what you think of everything," he finished in his bag and turned to Provenza before continuing, "thanks." Andy sat down on the bed, and now the two men were facing each other. Andy had put on his boxes and t-shirt, now ready for bed. Provenza was in flannel pants, an old LAPD shirt, and it was obvious he, too, was ready for bed. Andy glanced toward his bed and noticed a discarded crossword puzzle. "Anyway, see, I'm back here in the room. Provenza, it's fine. She's good with it. We had our good time, and I left."

Provenza narrowed his gaze, "There's no way she's okay with you just up and leaving after. Women aren't like that."

"Well, she is. She doesn't want anything out of this either. Look, we talked about it some in the car today. I slept some too while she drove. She really didn't care. As annoying as she can be at work, this works right now. She just wants to think about anything but her depressing Christmas right now. I can help with that," he explained. "Besides, I totally get that. Instead of drowning in a bottle or something, we can do this."

"Yeah, I bet you can. Raydor! Flynn, this has to be the dumbest thing you've ever done, and that's saying a lot. What are you going to do when you get back to Los Angeles?" Provenza asked.

"I'm going to go home and back to work. Easy. I'm telling you we have no strings attached, no expectations," he looked to Provenza and then grinned. "Well, we have expectations on the trip, but when we get home, there's nothing."

"You mean to tell me you plan this each evening stop? This isn't some terrible sort of what happens in Texas stays here? Don't even get me started that we are still in this ridiculous state of Texas. Who allowed a state to be this big? It's so big. I'll be glad to change states tomorrow."

"Oh, this is happening each night," Andy grinned. "She's okay with it. I told you. It's not a Texas thing; this is a trip thing. When we get home, she'll go back to her work and life. I'll do the same. Whenever I run into her in the building, I'll try not to grin when I see her, thinking about the fun we had along the way."

"You are enjoying this! Flynn, you're insane!" Provenza took his crossword and smacked it at Andy's leg. Andy drew back, his eyes wide as he looked at Provenza.

"Hey, leave me alone. It's my life. You're my best friend. I know how you feel about this, but just drop it. It's fine. You'll see," he shrugged.

"Oh, I'll see, that's for sure," he pointed a finger at Andy. "Go to sleep. I'm going to sleep and turning off all the lights. You're an idiot, and she's desperate if she thinks night after night with you is a good time," he sighed.

"You're just jealous," Andy smirked as he stood to get under the covers. Provenza did the same for his bed. "Look, my life is pretty much crap. I'm sober, but that's about all I can say. I don't want to deal with my family. That was a failure. I knew I shouldn't have gotten married so young and had kids, but I did. That was a mess, still is. Sandra hates me. The kids hate me. For once, just for a few days, someone wants me. Whatever. I'll go back to L.A. and back to my life. It is what it is. It's almost inspiring me to really put myself out there more when we get home. You're jealous I'm having a good time, and you're curled up here with your crosswords."

"Jealous? I'm not jealous of Radyor, that is for sure. I can't believe you think that is a good idea with her. Stop talking about it. I don't even want to think about it." Provenza got situated in bed and turned off the light next to his bed. That left the room dark, and he heard Andy sigh as he got comfortable too.

"Ugh, I forgot to eat dinner," Andy sighed and smacked his hand on the bed.

"See, you have your head in the clouds, you idiot. You never forget to eat. You were too busy with her, and now, it's late. You'll just have to eat a big breakfast there, cowboy," Provenza grumbled. "Stuck in Texas for two days now, and I've had to deal with you lusting after the captain."

"I'm not lusting after her! This was a mutual idea, something we agreed would be fun on the trip. It's fine, Provenza, all except for the being hungry part now," he sighed.

"Well, you'd better get some sleep. The diner attached to this place had some big cowboy breakfast listed as a special. Sounds like you'll need it to keep up your strength tomorrow. I can't believe we have another night of this before we get back to Los Angeles." The room was quiet, even though Provenza was expecting a reply from Andy. He waited before he said more, "Flynn, this is ending after tomorrow night, correct?"

"We said the trip, Provenza, so when the trip is over, so is this. Stop talking so I can sleep," he said.

Provenza sighed loudly, wanting to say more, but instead just silently shook his head. Across the room, Andy tried to drift off to sleep.

"Provenza," he called out a few minutes later, "hey, I know you are just trying to watch my back. Thanks. I'm good, though. I know what I'm doing." Both men drifted off for the night.

"Mind if I join you?" the two men looked up from their table the next morning to find the main topic of their discussion standing in front of them. Sharon was there, dressed for another day on the road. Provenza eyed her with her jeans and black long sleeve shirt. She had a taupe jacket over it, and he rolled his eyes toward Andy.

"You can sit on that side of the booth, Captain," Provenza nodded, not wanting to sit with her. He figured that as long as the two idiots were going to keep this up, they could share one side of the small booth. "I'll let you sit with us this morning. Consider this my Christmas cheer," he smirked at her.

"Thank you," she said as she sat down next to Andy and ignored Provenza's comment. Andy moved over toward the wall and kept his eyes on Provenza who was now sipping coffee. Andy picked up his cup to take another sip as well.

"Sleep well, Captain?" Provenza asked, baiting her as she made eye contact with the waitress. She didn't get a chance to answer before the waitress, who was a table away, walked toward them.

"Something to drink?" she asked Sharon.

"Coffee this morning, please," she gave her a smile. "I'd also like a glass of orange juice."

"I'll be back," she nodded and left the table. Sharon turned her attention on the guys.

"Lieutenant, good morning, and yes, I slept well. Did you?" she asked, a small smile on her face as she knew the game he was playing.

"No, I never sleep well traveling. One, Flynn snores," he gestured with his hand. Andy just rolled his eyes and looked back at his coffee cup. Two, I hate hotel pillows."

"All hotel pillows?" Sharon pursed her lips and nodded.

"Provenza is like a kid who likes his favorite blankie and pillow," Andy added. "He's just irritated we thought we were going to be back home within 24 hours of our departure, and a couple days later, we are here at a dump of a motel and a diner in Texas," Andy admitted.

"Oh, don't act like you are okay with this trip either," Provenza pointed at him.

"I'm not! I guess, though, it's better than getting yelled at by my ex and kids for never doing the right thing. I'm allowed to stop over for holidays, and I get yelled at by them. I am told to stay away, and when I call to talk to them, I get yelled at for working. At least this way, I can just say I'm out of town for work. I give up on family life! It's not for me. That's for sure. I've said that for years. Provenza, you have said the same! At least I wasn't dumb enough to marry my ex two times!"

Sharon's eyes grew wide as she looked back at Provenza, "You married your ex twice? How did I not know that?"

"I did, along with a couple other marriages thrown in there, Captain," he flashed a fake grin. "I was that irresistible. Care to discuss it more? I can give you all the details, or we can settle in and eat our breakfast."

"Where is our food, by the way?" Andy asked. "Last thing we need it to be late and have Chief's mom telling us she would have made us some homemade breakfast."

As he was saying that, the waitress reappeared with Sharon's coffee and orange juice, as well as the breakfast plates Andy and Provenza had ordered. She delivered all the food and then asked Sharon for her order.

"Can I get you something, Doll?" she flashed a grin.

Sharon hummed, "I'd like a fruit cup, one egg scrambled, and whole wheat toast. Thank you."

"Coming right up," she nodded and disappeared again.

"Captain, slow down on that breakfast. One egg," Provenza chuckled as he shook his head and tucked his napkin into his shirt.

"Hmm, Lieutenant, well, some of us care about our health. Most women realize that in their 40's, they have to watch what they eat for their health and for their figure. I'm of that mindset, so I won't indulge on a huge breakfast." She glanced to the men and shook her head, "Are you two really going to eat all of that?"

"Well, we aren't going to let good food go to waste," Provenza chuckled. "Flynn and I have no problem putting away this much food; although, he did pick some of the healthier options."

Sharon surveyed the food in front of them. Provenza had ordered one of the specials that included a full stack of pancakes, three huge ones in total, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage, two eggs, and home fries. Andy had ordered a vegetable omelet, oatmeal, a fruit cup, and toast. Sharon just shook her head at the amount of food. "There's enough there to feed my kids and myself."

"I'm sure there is," Provenza added. "Today, it's just enough to feed two of your lieutenants, even if we aren't really your lieutenants. Flynn missed dinner. Know anything about that?"

"Provenza!" Andy exclaimed and looked to him with a bite of omelet on his fork. "Lay off."

"Listen, if you two want to talk, I can certainly get another table. I saw you both here, and well, in the spirit of being kind, I decided to extend an olive branch and join you both. It was either come here to eat or go into the RV and eat with the rest of them. You two were the preferred choice over sharing a meal with your chief. As you know, we aren't the best of friends," Sharon told them. "I checked on the suspect. He's fine, and I wasn't really interested in grits and whatever else Wille Rae was making for breakfast."

"It's fine," Andy waved his hand. "We can all be civil."

"Oh, you certainly can, Flynn," Provenza rolled his eyes. "Thank you both for being fully clothed in front of me. Can we talk about something, anything else?"

"Sure," Sharon flashed an almost fake smile at Provenza, "Lieutenant, when do you plan to retire?"

Andy almost choked on his coffee as Sharon asked that, and he looked up to find Provenza staring at Sharon, "Retire? Are you insane? I'm not retiring!"

"Here's your food," they stopped when Sharon's plate was delivered. She nodded her thanks to the waitress, and the group resumed their conversation.

"Just how old do you think I am, Captain?" Provenza asked, now horrified. Andy started to laugh.

"Well, let's see," Sharon paused to reflect. "I'm sure I can find it in your file. I know you are old than I am. I know you are older than Lieutenant Flynn here, who told me he's 50. I know you are one of the older ones in the department, but honestly, Lieutenant, it was just a question," she gave him a small smile.

Andy chuckled and shook his head, "Retire, that's a good one. Provenza will never retire. He'll die at his desk. I'm sure you know those types of cops. See, he has this clause in his divorce papers, oh, one from his first wife. She gets half his pension when he does retire. He plans to prevent that by never retiring. Provenza, retire. That's a good one," he continued to laugh.

"Oh, stuff it, Flynn! It's not like you have plans to retire yourself," Provenza pointed his syrup-covered fork at him. "What are we going to do if we retire, anyway? Are we going to sit down at the beach and watch the girls rollerblade by us each day? No thanks. Are we going to open our own private investigative agency? No thanks, again. We are both going to sit at our desks for as long as we can. I will never retire, and you'll retire to some nursing home, where you will hit on the nurses all day. It's not like your kids want to keep you around to play grandpa to their kids one day."

"I don't need to be reminded of that!" Andy exclaimed. "And yes, there is a point that I'd like to retire. I don't know when, but I don't plan to spend my life chasing dirt bags."

"Hmm, at least you still chase them," Sharon said pointedly as she looked at Provenza. He raised his eyes at her.

"Captain, considering what I know about you now, I wouldn't irritate me even more. It wouldn't take much for me to mention your little arrangement here with Flynn," he gestured between the two of them. "If you don't want me to throw up everything I've just eaten, we are now going to drop the whole subject and any mention of you and Flynn."

Sharon eyed Andy, and he just rolled his eyes. The men were still eating, as they had very large platters of food, but Sharon had finished, not even eating all that was on her plate. She pulled out some cash to leave on the table and looked to the men, "Gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go back to my room and gather my things so we can get going when the RV is ready to go. It's still a long drive today, across a lot of desert. Lieutenant Provenza, have a nice day," she gave him a small smile. "Lieutenant Flynn, I'll see you at the car, and then, I'll see you later tonight."

She walked away from the table, and as she did Provenza shook his head and started to glare at Andy, "Flynn, I swear, you've ruined this trip even more with your dumb antics."


	5. Chapter 5

"So, you never answered your own question," Andy broke the silence as they drove across the New Mexico landscape. They were almost two hours into their drive for the day, headed west of Phoenix to the small desert town of Quartzsite where Brenda's parents were anxious to see their relatives for dinner. The rest of the group was just anxious to get back to Los Angeles. No one was particularly excited about the long day of driving across a lot of desert and bleak scenery. It would normally take the group around eight hours, without stops, to get to their destination for the evening, but with the RV needing gas more frequently and just other stops, the group was planning on a 10-hour day.

Sharon glanced to him from the driver seat, "My own question-what did I ask?"

"First, I've told you I'd drive," he frowned at her. "Are you this obsessive about being in charge of everything? I can drive a couple hours."

"I put on the rental agreement that I was the only driver," she explained.

"Oh, and imagine that if we'd break that clause," he muttered. "Seriously, that's your problem with having me drive? Let me remind you that you are breaking some other pretty big rules here, this whole I'm married but messing around, but you don't want to break a rule about a car rental agreement. That makes no sense."

She gave him a look and then focused on the drive again, "My marriage is a mess, and we are legally separated. That, I'm not going to continue to discuss. I've told you that if I could find Jack long enough to deal with him, I would. As for the car, yes, I intend on driving and not breaking my contract. I'm fine anyway. I'd just sit and dwell on my family if I was sitting where you are there. Driving keeps my mind focused, at least on driving. Now, what question in the silence we've had for the last 15 minutes or so didn't I answer?"

"Oh," he turned toward her slightly, "back at breakfast, you asked Provenza about retirement," he started to chuckle and shook his head. "That was a great question. He hates talking about retirement because it does show his age. Anyway, you never answered your own question. When are you planning to retire, and what are you planning to do?"

Sharon took a deep breath and continued to keep her eyes focused on the road. She flipped her hair, and Andy watched, almost noting she was nervous. She cleared her throat to answer, "I'm planning to retire sooner than later. FID is hard," she nodded to herself. "Don't get me wrong-I love my job, but it's not one to be taken lightly, and it doesn't exactly score popularity points within the department. I've been thinking about that for a long time, about retiring. My plan right now is to retire when Ricky, my 19-year-old finishes college. That is not something I've made largely public knowledge, so if you would, I'd ask you to keep that to yourself. Now," she turned to glare at him, "I realize I'm trusting you with a lot right now, a lot of discretion," she cleared her throat again. "I'd like to think after our arrangement for this trip that you won't spread that like office gossip. It's not a secret, but I don't want a countdown calendar in each department waiting on my retirement date."

"Sure," Andy raised his hand in defense. "I won't say anything. So, that means you're planning to work another what, three years or so?"

"Probably," she nodded. "It depends on graduate school too. I just am not the parent to flip a switch when my kids graduate. I believe in helping them get started. Now, that doesn't mean my kids are moving back home, but I want to get them started on solid footing. If Ricky wants to attend graduate school, I'll make sure that can happen, whatever financial arrangement we discuss. Emily has already said she doesn't want to attend graduate school. She believes she will get the job she wants in New York. She's a fantastic dancer."

"That's such an odd career choice," Andy made a face. "Dancing, I mean professionally like that," isn't one you hear of much. The only dancers we hear about in our profession are the strip club type." Sharon threw a glare at him, and his eyes grew large, "Oh, I didn't mean to call her a stripper or something. I know she's into classical dance, ballet, right?"

"Yes, she's into ballet. She's been dancing since she was three. At the time, it was something she could do to give me a free moment to take care of a newborn. I'd get her to her class and sit and feed Ricky. It was a juggling act for sure. I was working full time, had both kids in daycare, and after work, I was usually alone too. Jack was already in and out, mostly out, and I realized very quickly Emily needed something. I'd get the kids home from work, and after hours at daycare, you'd think she would be ready to crash. No," Sharon shook her head, "not Emily, so I enrolled her in dance mostly because it was close to the house, and I'd done some dancing as a child. It worked. The first couple years, she had class twice a week, and it was a way I could breathe with a newborn. I felt guilty that I had to go back to work when Ricky was eight weeks old, and it gave me a few moments in the evening to just bond with him. I would sit there, watch Emily, and be with my baby. That's how she started dancing. I never expected it to be a career. At the time, it was just an almost single mom needing a break," she let out a low chuckle.

"Crazy how something like that can turn into a career," Andy sighed. "My ex-wife put the kids into sports when they were young too, not that young, but still. They were five and seven when we divorced for good. That was a long time ago. What is crazy about my ex is that she met the current husband with the kids' sports. He was my son's golf instructor and is now the manager for one of those posh golf resorts toward Beverly Hills. He's rolling in money, and my ex must be happy with that. I was never enough for her, and we just got married way too young. I shouldn't have gotten married. It was stupid, but that's what young and stupid is," he sighed. "Anyway, the replacement dad provides whatever the kids want or need. I try. I send money too, but I'm sure my measly amounts are just laughed at because I'm a cop. Sure," he shrugged, "I make decent money, but I can't and won't compete with that country club attitude. My son is into golf, and my daughter is into tennis. The kids are out of college now and perfectly content to pretend I don't exist. Whatever. I love my kids, but I made such a mess of my life. Anyway, I get what you mean that it's crazy how one decision can change things. Your kid is becoming a professional dancer. My ex met Daddy Warbucks with my kids' sports."

"You divorced a long time ago, then," Sharon nodded as she drove trying to process what he'd said. "How long have you been divorced?"

"Ahh, let's see, it's been 21 years now," he told her.

She turned toward him, wide-eyed, "You've been divorced 21 years? When did you get married?"

"We got married when we were still in college," he let out a long sigh. "Again, like I said, that was a stupid mistake. We were both 21. Nate, our son, was born when we were 22, just a couple months after we graduated. That's why I decided to become a cop. I needed to support my family and quickly. We needed health insurance and all. My ex is a teacher, or she was. She doesn't work now. She hangs out at the golf course and country club her husband manages. She wanted kids. I didn't. She's definitely molded them to what she's wanted. We weren't a good fit, and sadly, we realized that after having two kids right away. I started staying out after work, going to the bar with the guys. That turned into drinking later and later into the night. Then, I would come home drunk, and finally, I just started drinking all the time. I told her I'd quit, but I just didn't have the interest to do it back then. I saw my life as a mess. I realized I didn't want to be married, and really, then, I didn't want to be a dad. I wasn't a good one-husband or dad. I was too young. So, before I was even 30, I was divorced. I'm that guy, the typical drunk and divorced before 30. I drank a few more years before I really got my act together. Provenza has always been there for me, and that's why no matter what-no matter the grief he gives me-he's always going to be my best friend. Sorry, I'm not sitting here trying to be sappy. I just don't know what I'll do when I retire. I can't imagine that day coming, but like I said, I don't want to die sitting at my desk."

"There are a lot of avenues you can explore as a retired detective," Sharon pointed out to him.

"I'm not going to be a mall cop," Andy frowned at her. "That's just not happening."

"I didn't say that," Sharon sighed. "You need to think bigger."

"Oh, yeah?" Andy asked. "Obviously, you have a plan. What is it?"

"When I retire, I plan to leave Los Angeles. I'm done living here. This was Jack's idea anyway. I'm going to move somewhere and teach. I would like to teach at a community college, something like that. I think I could offer a lot in the field of criminal justice."

Andy raised an eyebrow at her, "You want to teach at a community college? That surprises me."

"Why?" she shrugged. "You really don't know me. Sleeping with each other a few times doesn't mean you know someone."

He sighed, "Yeah, I didn't say I did. I do know you from work. I guess it's hard to imagine you teaching. I see you as this law enforcer. Anyway," he shrugged, "to each his own."

"I don't see you as a mall cop either," she shrugged. "Maybe you should think of something completely different. Don't work at a golf course," she started to laugh and looked at him. "I think you are already bitter about that profession."

"Yeah," he threw up his hand at her. "Tell me, are we still on for tonight?"

She briefly eyed him before looking back at the road, "I can always tell when Willie Rae is driving. She won't go more than three miles above the speed limit."

"Did I do something wrong last night?" he asked. "You made that comment in front of Provenza about seeing me tonight, but when I tried to say something to you in the parking lot before we got on the road, you dodged my comment then. You just did now. Are we doing this again tonight, or have you changed your mind?"

"We're on for tonight," she said in a matter of fact tone. "You just seem to be too excited about all of this. I want to remind you this is just an arrangement for this trip. We'll be back in L.A. tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "I understand our arrangement. I suppose it's just odd, sitting here, knowing it's going to happen again tonight. I've not been in a situation like this for a long time. Most of my encounters are just that, one-time encounters. It's been a long time since I saw the same person more than once."

"We aren't seeing each other," she changed her tone, now in a firm voice. "I hope we are clear on that."

"Oh, most definitely," Andy nodded. "I'm very clear on what is going on with us. It's just kind of exciting knowing what the evening holds," he flashed a grin. "Come on," he nodded to her. "You have to be looking forward to it too."

"It's been nice," she shrugged. "I didn't plan on this when I came on this trip, but it's been a good distraction. Thank you for that."

"Yeah, I didn't know what to expect from you," he eyed her, "but it has been fun."

"Just come by my room later tonight," she told him. "I'd like to relax on my own for awhile."

"Okay," Andy looked at her with surprise as he tried to understand her. "So, when do you want me to come to your room? I thought what we were doing was relaxing."

"I still want time to myself before you come to my room," she told him. "It's hard to explain. When you leave, I just want to go to sleep, to almost forget the day. It's not you," she sighed. "I just sink into my depressed holiday mood. I'd like to relax by myself before our evening's activities. Perhaps you could come over around 11?"

"11?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Is that too late for you? Are you going to be passed out asleep already? If you aren't up for it, we can forget it. I realize you are older than me."

"It's not too late," he looked to her irritated, but he couldn't get her to look toward him. "I'm just trying to figure out what game this is."

"No game. I just want time to myself. I want to relax, even eat, in peace. I might take a hot bath if the place we are staying isn't too minimal," she told him.

Andy let out a low chuckle, "Come on-it's an RV park and motel. I'd say it's going to be minimal. I wouldn't expect a spa-like resort for your bubble bath."

"I'm not high maintenance, if that's what you are insinuating," she scowled at him.

"I didn't say that, but I don't picture a nice bath in any of the places we've been staying. Come on," he urged her, "you have to admit that we seem to fit the stereotypical mode for the use of some of these places with our nightly encounters."

"Hmm, yes, so what you are saying is that these types of places are perfect for two people, not involved, I mind you, to sleep together and be done with it?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm just advising to be careful taking a nice bubble bath. I'd probably opt for the quick shower. I've had a few cold showers myself," he flashed a grin at her.

"Wipe that grin off your face," she pointed her finger at him. "That's exactly what I don't need. I don't need you there grinning or gloating about sleeping with me. I just need to continue this arrangement until we get home. That way, at least something productive came out of this trip."

"Tell me, Captain," he turned toward her, "what do you have planned when we get back to Los Angeles? You said your kids are with the parents, right?"

"They are," she looked to him. "I plan to write up my report for this trip. Thankfully, things have gone well, and the suspect has been treated better than most family members. If things continue to go well, I won't have much work to do, and then, I plan to go home and try to relax on Christmas."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty depressing. Trust me," he nodded and continued, "take it from someone here who knows what its' like to be alone on Christmas. I'd suggest you find one of those fancy hotels to take your bubble bath and forget the holiday is here. If your kids aren't around, your house is going to seem empty. That's why I work on most holidays. I don't have a family, and it's better than sitting around thinking about drinking."

"You do have a family," she nodded to him. "You just aren't with them."

"They don't want me around, believe me. My ex has told me more than once that we messed up getting married so young and having kids. I know it. She knows it. She got the best part of our marriage, the kids. She knows it, and she's made her dream of a family with the golf instructor."

"I can hear it in your voice that you never wanted to remarry like your ex did?" she asked.

"Nope," he crossed his arms. "I'm fine now. I like no strings attached. It works for me. I make a decent salary, but I'm not rolling in it. I had to dig myself out from years of drinking. I sent the kids money when they were younger, and just now, finally, I'm starting to put money away and get ahead. I'm not interested in another relationship mistake, of getting involved or married to someone when I'm finally getting myself on solid ground, in all areas, but mostly finances. I'm good with taking a woman out for the evening, bringing her home, and then the next day, the two of us going our own ways. It's fine with me."

"I actually understand that," she nodded. "I really do. It is somewhat of a freedom. I can see that. Jack destroyed our finances too, not like the problems you just mentioned, but he wiped out anything I'd saved. The legal separation I got years ago keeps our money separate, and I was able to work into that agreement my pension. He can't touch it, even though I know he would want to take half of it. I was smart to listen to a good friend, a lawyer friend, when that was drawn up years ago now. At least when I retire, I know I have that for myself. He can't touch it. I finally untangled the last of our finances last year when I sold the house."

"What made you do that, sell the house?" he asked. "Did you have more legal issues with him?"

"No, quite the opposite," Sharon shook her head. "Part of that legal separation was that whenever the house sold, we would split the profits 50/50. That was bought when we were still living together, under the same roof. I'm not a horrible person. I acknowledge that, but I told Jack I didn't want to sell it until the kids were out of the house. He and I argued about that for awhile because honestly, he wanted the house to be sold years ago so he could blow that cash in Vegas. We came to an agreement, with the understanding that I wouldn't go after him for any sort of child support or money for the kids if I could stay in the house. I continued the mortgage payments, and while honestly, I paid on the house when he didn't, I didn't argue it. I got to keep my pension and stay in the house until the kids were out. Wouldn't you know it, that the week after the kids went to school, Jack called me out of the blue to ask about the house. The man can't make it home to see his son graduate. He can't show up when he's going to college, but somehow, he remembers that both kids are out of the house. He called me the end of August and asked about the house. I'd already started prepping to sell it. It felt odd staying there with the kids gone, and Ricky had done a lot of the yard work the last few years, so I was already getting it ready to sell. I listed it the middle of September, and it only took a week to get an offer. I closed on it the end of October, and the next day, I closed on my new condo. It's my home, and Jack cannot touch it."

"Okay, so you own a condo now?" he asked.

"I do," she nodded. "I've been in now about six weeks. I had painters come the first couple weeks. That was a bit of a mess. I was working a lot, and the painters were working around all my things, still boxed, of course. I stayed at a hotel for a few days, but then, I moved in, finally. I wish I'd had more time between selling one home and buying the other, but it worked out okay. That's partly why the holidays have me a bit nostalgic right now. It's the first Christmas in my new condo. The kids and I were going to create new memories there. We put up the tree two weeks ago, and we've been trying to make sure our old traditions carry to the condo. It's small, two bedrooms, and while I'd wanted three bedrooms, my budget couldn't afford it. I did a 15-year mortgage on it, knowing I wouldn't pay it off before I retire and move, but still, I have a better interest rate and will have paid down a lot of the loan in the next four or five years. If Ricky gets a master's degree, it could be five or six years in it. I don't know. It has a gorgeous view, and it will sell well when I do sell. It was a good investment, and honestly, it just feels good to be out of Jack's reach. I tried to push the divorce when the house sold, but like Jack, he disappeared. The money went into a direct deposit, but otherwise, I can't get in touch with him."

"He sounds like a real piece of work," Andy told her. "Glad you got your condo. I bought my own place now about 10 years ago. It took me getting sober and rebuilding my life-and credit," he groaned, "before I could buy anything. The kids are hardly ever there, so it's not their house at all. It's small, but it works. It needed a lot of work, so I've learned a lot about home repair. I guess that's what I do in my spare time to keep from drinking."

"Looks like Willie Rae is getting off the road for gas," Sharon sighed as she put on her blinker to follow her.

"This day can't end soon enough," Andy said as he put his head back on the seat and closed his eyes.

"If you can promise me you'll drive safely, I'll let you drive when we get back on the road," Sharon eyed him. He narrowed his gaze at her.

"What's the catch?" he asked.

"No catch," she shook her head. "I'm just really getting sleepy. I'd like to get some rest. Let's just say if I get some rest, maybe you can come by my room earlier tonight."


	6. Chapter 6

He knocked on the door, hoping she'd answer quickly. He glanced around again to make sure Chief wasn't lurking. He'd already run into her. He turned quickly when he heard the door opening and almost dropped his bag at the view.

"Wow," he stuttered as she stepped aside to let him into the room. He walked inside as she closed the door. "You look, wow," he shook his head.

"It's a robe," she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but it's looking like nothing is under that robe," he nodded to her. He gestured with his free hand. The other was holding a bag.

"I can't say the same for you," she gestured at him a look of boredom almost on her face. "Are you going out for a run or something? Actually, you look like you are looking for a basketball court. Shooting hoops tonight? What gives?" Sharon eyed Andy as he stood there in long gym shorts, an old t-shirt, socks, and running shoes. "None of that," she gestured to him up and down with her finger, "is coming into that bed," she nodded to the sad looking double bed in the room. This motel was the worst they'd had on the trip. The rooms were old and dingy. Andy glanced toward the bed, nodding when he saw she had her own blanket on it. The peeling wallpaper didn't scream romance, but he quickly reminded himself this was not a romantic evening, just two people using each other really.

"Umm, yeah," he nodded to his outfit and continued, "I changed into something more comfortable. You are forgetting I didn't bring much with me on the trip, and Provenza and I had to buy a few things at the store. There wasn't a lot in the way of choices. It's probably good I changed. I ran into the Chief outside too, and I told her I was coming to work out," he flashed her a grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "I don't want to lie to the chief," he said as he took a step toward her. She was almost against the wall after letting him into the room, and he leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him quickly back, then broke apart, and stepped around him.

"This isn't some romantic evening," she sighed and walked across the room. His eyes followed, watching her in her black robe. She turned back toward him, and this time, she'd untied her robe. He just stood and watched.

"Well?" she asked, her robe hanging slightly open as she nodded to him.

"Oh, yeah," he nodded to her and held up the bag. "I walked down to the convenience store. I bought a new box of condoms after running out of what I normally carry last night when we finished. Never thought I'd need them on this trip. Can't say I'm not always prepared," he flashed a grin.

She just shrugged, "Great. Let's get started," she told him.

"You don't have to tell me twice," he smiled. She put her hand up toward him as he walked to her.

"The shoes?" she asked as if it was a question and looked at him again. "Lose the socks too."

"Yes, sure," he said as he quickly started to work on his shoes. As he finished he stood and ran his hands up her side. She leaned up and kissed him, and he returned that kiss. He moved his hand to her hair, and they started to back toward the bed, her hands and his moving quickly.

She broke off the kiss quickly, stalled her hands, and stepped back, "Did you bring food? We talked about that."

Andy looked to her, now slightly irritated, "We're starting this, and you're asking about food?"

"You said you'd bring food. We discussed this in the car. I said I wanted to relax and have some time for myself. We talked about eating dinner, and I told you I was craving onion rings. You said you'd find those or whatever you could find, and we'd eat here. I'm starving. We had lunch at 10:30 because Willie Rae and Clay were hungry. That was now 12 hours ago," she frowned at him.

"Fine," he ran his hand through his hair. "I forgot to get food."

"How did you forget? You were just at the convenience store and diner," she nodded to his bag.

"Yeah, but I had other things on my mind, more important things," he flashed a grin and smirked at her.

She shook her head, "Please, I'm hungry. Like I said, this is an agreement. It will happen, but I'm really hungry. We don't need to worry about ruining any mood; this isn't romantic. Could we please eat anything?"

He sighed and dropped his head. He looked up to find her looking at him, her eyes full of wonder. He nodded, "Fine. I'll go see if I can find something. You really want onion rings if they have them?"

"Yes, it's just something about total junk food when I'm with a man," she shrugged. "I'd love that and a greasy burger. I guess it's a little of the thrill of doing something I don't normally do. I don't do this," she nodded between them "with many, actually, hardly at all. I've been very discreet with the last two men. I just like good greasy food."

"I'll go back over there and see what I can find. It's a truck stop, so I'm sure they have all the grease you want," he smirked again. He moved to the bed and sat down to put on his shoes and socks. "One thing," he looked up at her and waited for her to answer. She eyed him, and he continued, "If you eat that junk, especially the onion rings, you have to brush your teeth or use some mouthwash. I'm not asking a lot, but please. That doesn't have anything to do with romance; that's good hygiene."

"She stood there, her robe hanging slightly open, and she pulled it closed when she could feel him staring at her. Her eyes met his, "I'll brush my teeth; you didn't even have to suggest it. I'm aware it's not exactly mood worthy, onion rings. For now, please don't stare."

"Why not? You're hot. I have seen it before now, you know," he told her.

"In the dark, yes. I'm just not interested in being eyed over by you. You'll have this mental picture in your mind, and when we are back at work, I'll se you staring at me there, thinking of this right here," she said. "I just need this to be what it is, a little fun on a business trip. I don't need to think of myself as one of your conquests."

Andy finished lacing up his shoes and stood. He was taller than she was, and he looked down at her, "I will stare. I can tell you that now, but I'll be thinking of the hot nights we had on this trip. I know what this is, but it doesn't mean I have to keep my mouth closed with you right here. You have a great body. Most of the women I've been with lately are younger, and most don't even have what you have. I'm just telling you that, you know, as like an expert," he winked.

She rolled her eyes, "See, that's the junk I need to avoid, you and your mouth. I don't need that. I just need, well," she shook her head and continued, "I just need to eat and get this done for tonight. Then, I need sleep. It's getting late, and we haven't eaten yet."

"I'll be back shortly, as soon as I can find your greasy food," he smirked. "I don't know what the big deal is about it being late. We're going to be back in L.A. tomorrow. The drive isn't long, and I told you I would drive if you are too tired. I didn't harm your rental car today," he flashed a smile.

"I just don't want you in my room all night," she admitted. "We need to wrap this up tonight, so you can go back to Provenza," she told him.

"That's sick," he shook his head. "That sounds sick. I'm not going back to Provenza. I'm rooming with him, that's it."

She let out a low chuckle, "Call it what you want, but I can't run the risk of you being in here most of the night or all night. I don't need wandering eyes to see you coming out of my room."

"Well, you don't have to worry about anyone seeing me earlier. Yeah, I ran into Chief, but I told her I was going on a run. I did," he grinned. "I ran to the store and bought condoms for the night. No one saw me there. I'll be back shortly," he leaned in and kissed her again. She started to push him away, but he ran his hand up her side again. She looked up at him as she pulled away from the kiss. "Besides food, want anything else? Candles?"

"It's not a romantic night. No candles. Please, just get the food," she nodded to him. He walked back to her, looking at her standing there, and he kissed her again. She looked up at him.

"Don't be gone too long," she said as she stood there, now breathless. He winked and left the room.

Andy sighed early the next morning as he tried to get situated in the car. He squinted as he started fumbling around in the car for his seatbelt. Sharon looked over at him.

"The sun isn't even up yet. It's not even 6:00. Why are you squinting?" she asked.

"The light from the car," he nodded to it. "I've got a terrible headache. You know, it wouldn't have killed you to let me sleep in that room. I barely got two hours of sleep back in mine."

"I told you this isn't some romance. You didn't need to stay. I didn't get much more sleep than that. I believe it was you last night who told me it wasn't a big deal if we didn't get sleep because we were going to be back home today," she eyed him, that glare making Andy almost cringe.

"That was before I had this headache," he said through gritted teeth. "I think the late nights are finally catching up with me."

"The playboy isn't as young as he used to be?" she rolled her eyes and pursed her lips as she looked at him.

"I believe you were the one who started all this. Don't start with me," he said. "Sounds to me like someone is in a bad mood because playtime is over."

"Hmm, I think you are just as upset this trip is ending," she scowled at him. "I'm not in a bad mood. All of this ends, here now, since we will be back in L.A. today. Thank you for our agreement. It's been fine," she nodded.

"Fine?" he raised his eyebrows at her, finally opening his eyes as they adjusted to the light. "That's what you have to say after the last few nights?"

"Yes, it was fine," she gave a single nod again. "Thank you. As for me, I'm perfectly content getting on the road this early. I didn't want to admit that to Chief, but it's fine with me if she wants to get back early to get this paperwork started. I can get my report filed and get home."

"Home to what?" he asked. "You said your kids are gone. Are you going to catch a flight or even drive to meet them?"

She glared at him, "Already checked flights. Everything is booked for Christmas Eve and Christmas now. No, I'm going to be in Los Angeles on my own. I'll create memories in my condo, alone. I've resigned myself to the idea. I don't want to drive to meet them. It's too much driving for the time I have. I have to work on the 26th, and I have half a mind to take the shift tomorrow so my lieutenant can enjoy his family. My lieutenant, who has been left in charge in my absence, has a six-month-old. Seems someone should be able to enjoy family, even if I can't. So, I'm fine to get home. It's basically turned into a work week for me."

"You know, I can hear the bitterness in your voice," he told her. "Don't snap at me because you have a crappy holiday coming up now. I'm fully aware our arrangement is over now. It's been okay on my end," he smirked. "I still feel like I smell like onion rings and can't believe you like to eat that junk."

She flipped her hair as the group pulled out of the motel. Brenda had compromised with her parents to pull out early if she went to dinner with them the night before. She'd done that, and now, the group was leaving at 6:00 to get back on the road.

"I don't eat that junk, as you said," she said slowly, "all the time, just sometimes," she shrugged.

He chuckled, "Right, you like to eat it when you have your way with someone."

She rolled her eyes at him, "As I said, we can stop talking about this. It's over. You go back to your life, and I'll go back to mine."

"I get it," he nodded. "You just have another guy on the side in L.A., right? I was your on the road guy."

She scoffed at him and then rolled her eyes, "Let's just get along for the duration of the drive, hmm?"

"Fine by me," he grumbled. "I'm going to take a nap. I was up way too late, and I'm not sure it was even worth it."

The two settled into an uncomfortable silence. Sharon drove, and Andy fell asleep, leaving their agreement to end there, on the road.


	7. Chapter 7

It was sad just how a case could turn. One minute, things seem to be going well, and the next, the suspect is dead. Andy and Provenza were having trouble with that right now. They'd bonded with their suspect over their cross-country trip. Sure, it was odd, and the guy needed to go to prison, but that didn't stop them from feeling badly that he'd been killed. The entire mess had blown up on them, and now, here it was Christmas, and they were not feeling very celebratory. They'd finally finished all paperwork and the chief had sent them home, or they'd sent her home to be with her family while the two of them finished the last of the paperwork. Brenda would be in later to sign everything; they knew that, but the death was hitting her particularly hard, and they knew she needed her family. Without having anyone at home, Provenza and Andy had decided to get something to eat, to celebrate Christmas together as much as one could after a case had turned out so badly. On Christmas, not much was open, but thankfully, the diner near the station was open, mainly to serve the few officers who were assigned Christmas duty. The restaurant was decked out in red, green, and gold tinsel with small Christmas trees along the diner counter. The two men were in a booth at the back, away from the world where they could go over the events of the last few days.

"I can't believe he's dead," Andy shook his head. "I mean, yeah, he needed to be put away for what he did, but even he didn't deserve that."

"Yeah, life is a mystery," Provenza nodded as he looked into his coffee cup.

The two men settled into silence as they waited for their food. Both had ordered their turkey dinner special for Christmas. The diner had that and a ham dinner on the menu, but both men decided turkey sounded better. Andy wasn't a huge meat eater, but he loved turkey. Provenza had asked about the two options, and the waitress had told him she thought the turkey tasted better. With their orders being filled, the men were content sitting in silence as they processed the events of the last few days.

"The guy is dead, Provenza," Andy shook his head.

"Chief took it hard," Provenza admitted. "Her parents took it hard too. I don't envy any of them having to tell the guy's little brother. Tough," he sighed and shook his head.

A phone ringing had both men look to Andy's phone where he picked it up, hoping it was one of the kids calling him. He raised his eyebrows at Provenza and turned the phone toward him to show him the caller id before he answered.

"Why is she calling you?" Provenza said with a surprised look on his face. "All the paperwork was turned in, and her reports have nothing to do with our reports."

"Maybe it's not about the case," he winked at him, a sly grin now forming on his face.

"Flynn! Are you insane?" Provenza asked as Andy raised his hand to silence Provenza while he answered the call.

"This is Flynn," he said, suddenly not sure how he should address her. He knew she was Captain Raydor, but after their last few nights together, it felt a little odd to call her that. He knew she was that, but he also wasn't sure why she was calling him now on Christmas Day, but he had a good idea it wasn't related to work."

"Lieutenant Flynn, this is Captain Raydor," she stated in a very professional tone and then cleared her voice.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes at Provenza, even though Provenza couldn't hear the conversation. "I have caller id, Captain. Need something? Oh, Merry Christmas, I suppose."

"Yes," she paused, "ahh, Merry Christmas. Look, I partly called because I saw the report come across my desk about the last suspect. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. He had a decent heart, even with his criminal behavior."

"Thanks, yeah, Provenza and I are sitting here saying almost the same thing," he looked to Provenza. Provenza gave him a questionable look, and Andy just mouthed to him, "Case."

Provenza nodded, and Andy ran his hand over his face as he closed his eyes. He sighed and then continued with his call, "Anyway, yeah, case had a rough ending. We're going to eat and just go home and drown our sorrows."

"I hope you aren't, well, you aren't going to drink, are you? I know how things can almost be a trigger," she asked.

"No, I'm not going to drink," he said, still with his hand over his face as he spoke. "I'll be okay."

"Fine, good," she told him. "Ahh, I was also calling because, because, look, I know our trip didn't end well. I realize things were going along just fine with our arrangement, and then, we were both short with each other the last part of the drive. I'm sorry about that. You did nothing wrong. It had gone well, and I just had a lot on my mind. I'm calling because I was hoping to end things on a better note."

"Oh?" Andy moved his hand from his face and sat up in his seat. Provenza took note and again looked to him with a questionable glance. "What do you mean by that?"

"I somewhat took your advice, about the hotel, I mean. It's Christmas. I did work for my lieutenant yesterday, and I'm leaving work now because I stayed to deal with some additional paperwork. I booked a nice hotel for myself for Christmas. You suggested that in a way on the trip, that if I wanted to relax and have a nice bath and all, I should do that in a nice hotel. So, I did. I splurged on a hotel for tonight. It's Christmas, and my family is out of town. I've already spoken to my kids while I was at work. They know I've been working hard, and I told them I'm going to relax now. I'm calling because I thought we could have better closure than we did."

"Better closure?" he repeated as he asked. Provenza narrowed his gaze at Andy, and Andy shook his head and shrugged.

"Did I stutter? I'm inviting you to my hotel for the night. I hope that is clear," she sighed.

"You're inviting me to the hotel? Wait," he raised his hand, almost as if she could see him. "I thought this was over once we got back to Los Angeles. You were very clear about that, and I'm good with that too."

"This hotel isn't in Los Angeles. Technically, it meets the criteria. We wouldn't be in L.A., and we discussed not continuing this when back in Los Angeles. We'd be out of town again. I booked myself a room at an oceanfront beach resort in Huntington Beach. It's not far as you know, but it's outside of town," she explained.

Andy rolled his eyes as he listened to her explanation. She was definitely one to stick to the rules, at least most of the time. She'd strayed from her marriage, even with her technicality of being legally separated. He'd gotten her to let him drive her rental car, which was an absurd rule, but she'd agreed. Now, here, she was calling him, basically proposing they spend yet another night at an oceanside hotel not far away on Christmas to end things better as she was trying to tell him.

"What's the catch?" he asked, now looking at Provenza who was very interested in the conversation. He decided to spell it out for Provenza, "I mean, you are suggesting we get together again for one more night at a resort, an oceanfront resort as a matter of fact, on Christmas, and you claim it's okay because it's not in Los Angeles. Is that right?"

"That's correct. There's no catch. In fact, just forget it," she sighed. "Just forget the offer, okay? Forget I called, and I'll see you at work whenever I see you."

"Hey, wait," he stopped her before she hung up the phone and then continued when he heard her sigh again, "I didn't say no. I just wondered if there was some catch? It's just another night, like the nights on the road?"

"That's it. I decided to get out of town, well, sort of get out of town. I looked at a few beach resorts in the area, and a couple didn't have a room. This one did, and it's a splurge, but it's still within my budget right now. I thought we could have some fun," she told him. "It's just one night, tonight."

"Oh, the fine fun, huh?" he smirked. "It was fine, but you're calling me for more. I get it, sure," he nodded. Provenza made a disgusted face and shook his head at Andy. Andy winked at him and started to speak, but Sharon spoke first.

"Just stop. Honestly, I am not sure why I called. I suppose I felt you were safe. I at least know you. I want something tonight. I just need to forget the holidays. I know the case went sour quickly for all of you. I thought we could help each other just forget," she told him. "I'm going to hang up. I'm not calling to beg. This isn't a good idea, clearly. I am seeing that," she stated.

"Send me the information," he told her before she hung up the phone. "Provenza and I are eating," he said as he looked at his watch. "It's just noon now. We'll finish, and I'll meet you there later. Are you on your way now?"

"No, I'm leaving work, on my way to my condo, and I'll get going once I finish packing. Don't feel you have to show up today. I can take care of myself," she stated again.

"I'll be there," he nodded as he started to grin. "I'll also be the bigger one and admit that it was more than fine; it was pretty great this thing we've had going between us. Yeah, I can handle one more night, a night NOT in Los Angeles. Send me the info, and I'll meet you later."

"Same stipulations as before," she cleared her throat. "This is just the two of us-" Andy cut her off before she could continue.

"Yeah, yeah," he waved his hand. "I got it. It is what it is. I won't say the S-E-X word because I think Provenza here might choke on his food," he grinned even though their food hadn't been delivered. "It's fine. I get it. One more night is fine with me. See you soon," he said and hung up before she could say more. He put his phone on the table, sat back, crossed his arms, and he grinned at Provenza.

"You have to be kidding me!" Provenza almost yelled and smacked his hand on the table. "Raydor, again? She actually wants you?"

Andy shrugged, "Hey, she said I was safe. I'll take it. What else do I have going on tonight anyways? The way I see it, I get to go to some fancy hotel and have a very, very good time."

Provenza started making gagging sounds as the food arrived. The waitress looked at him, wondering what was wrong with him, and Andy just shrugged at her, "He's jealous of my plans. He's jealous I'm going to have an amazing evening and he's not."

Andy's mind started to wander as the two men ate. He tried to ignore Provenza's stares and gagging sounds. He was now excited about his Christmas plans and couldn't stop grinning. Provenza finally had enough of it and pointed his fork at him, "Stop it. Stop it right now. I know what the grin is about on that ugly face of yours. I know where you are going, what you are doing, and the person involved. Just stop. Sure, I might find myself a good time today too, but you don't need a visual of the person like I have with Raydor right now."

"What?" Andy shrugged. "We've had a lot of fun," he grinned. "Oh," his eyes changed, almost going to a panicked state. "Do you think I need to take her something? Like, should I get her a Christmas present?"

"Christmas present!" Provenza almost smacked the table. The place wasn't full; there were two other tables full, but otherwise, it was quiet. "Are you completely insane? Don't answer that because you are. You've been sleeping with Raydor, Raydor, Flynn of all people! You're going to do it again meeting some technicality of hers that it's out of town. Is this how it's going to go? Are you going to keep this little thing up by going out of town each week or weekend?"

"I don't know," Andy admitted. "It's not a problem. We're both fine with it, and I'm sure we'll discuss the future of our arrangement tonight. It's clearly working for us."

"Do NOT get her a Christmas present," Provenza gestured with his fork. "I'm warning you, Flynn. That isn't a good idea."

"Sorry I asked, "Andy muttered. "I need to finish here so I can get going. I need to pack a bag and get on the road."

"Idiots," Provenza grumbled. "I'm leaving here and going to go see some of my grandkids. When I get tired of them climbing all over me and irritating me trying to talk to me-the older ones-I'll go to a bar, get drunk, and I'll see where my evening takes me."

"Merry Christmas to us," Andy nodded and raised his coffee cup.

Three and a half hours later, Andy was well on the road and almost to the hotel. It wasn't that far of a drive, but her call had taken him by surprise. Sharon had sent him an email with the hotel confirmation information, and he was about 15 minutes away. He'd been daydreaming most of the drive, and traffic had been relatively light because it was already Christmas, and most people were where they wanted to be for the day. Andy decided to call his kids before he arrived to check on them.

"Nic, Merry Christmas," he said into the phone when she answered.

"Oh, hi, Dad. Merry Christmas," she replied. "How's work?"

"Ahh, not good. Our suspect was killed. It's been a rough one. We finished," he explained.

"Yeah, well, we aren't going to be able to see you today. We're busy with Mom and our family here. Tomorrow is the same, and then, we're going away for a few days with Mom and Bill. Bill booked a spa resort for us where he and Nate can golf," she told him. "Nate and I have a couple days off work with the weekend coming up at Christmas."

"Oh, okay," he sighed. "Are you having a good day?"

"Great, it's everything we wanted. I hope you can enjoy your day and get to a meeting," she told him. Andy sighed. The kids mentioned that every single call, almost trusting that after all this time he'd fall off the wagon at any minute.

"Nic, I'm fine. I do wish I could see you and Nate," he told her. He started to continue, but she interrupted.

"Yeah, maybe next holiday," she told him. "I just don't know. Mom has a full day of activities, food, and family."

"You enjoy your day, then. I'm getting out of town, just driving down the coast a little today to enjoy my day. I love you and Nate. Merry Christmas. Is Nate there?" he asked. "I'd like to speak to him too."

"He's outside. He and Bill are looking at a couple new clubs they got today. I don't know which ones exactly," she told him.

"Tell him I love him, and please tell everyone Merry Christmas. I hope you got my card."

"Oh, yes, I did. Thanks. I got the money you sent me for Christmas too," she said.

"Yeah, well, I asked if you wanted anything for Christmas, and your reply email just had dollar signs. I get it. I love you, Nic. Bye," he said and hung up the phone.

Andy continued to drive and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He'd had some pretty crappy Christmases lately, but this one was already taking him by surprise. It was terrible about the case. He knew that, and he'd been dwelling on it at lunch. The captain's call, or Sharon's call-whatever she was when they had this arrangement, had surprised him in a good way. He was excited. Sure, it was what it was, but he was going to have a good time. He'd made it home from lunch, gathered his things, and he'd started to the hotel. He'd made his stop on the way, which took him about a half hour, and now, he couldn't wait to get there.

His phone ringing pulled him from his thoughts, "What, Provenza?" he asked when he answered.

"Are you still going through with your dumb plan? She's not the only woman in L.A., or I should say she's not the only woman in L.A. who left L.A. so you would sleep with her," he grumbled.

"Yeah, I'm almost to the hotel. Look, she's offering a beachside hotel for the night. I can't argue with that," he grinned.

"You're playing with fire, Flynn. "Nothing good will come of this."

"Oh," Andy flashed a huge grin, "I beg to differ. Plenty good has come of this. We've both been more than okay with everything. It's good, trust me."

"Shut up, Flynn. I don't need your play on my words," he grumbled again. "Don't say I didn't warn you. I have to go. I'm leaving one house and going to another to make my dad and grandfather rounds. You talk to your kids?"

"Yeah, I talked to them," he sighed. "I don't know why I still bother. They are adults, and it's clear they want nothing to do with me. Kids had every excuse in the book to not see me over the next few days. Really, I should clarify that Nic had every excuse. Nate wouldn't even get on the phone with me. I've tried calling him the last few days, but he won't answer. I wanted to know what he wanted for Christmas, and finally, I just decided to send him cash like Nic wanted. Anyway, I'm just wondering why I even make the effort. The kids don't care anymore. It's like I've said to you that Sandra has her new family. I'm out. Bill is in."

"Yeah, well, you can't do more than you are. You know my feelings on Sandra. At least you only made that mistake once. Not only did I continue to get married and even married Liz twice, I kept having kids! That's part of my problem here today. I'm leaving one house and going to the other. I have too many kids and grandkids to see. I just want to relax, but I am sorry about your kids, Flynn," he sighed.

"Enjoy the family, you duffer," Andy told him, not wanting to talk about his kids more. "I'll talk to you later. Don't call me tonight. I don't know when I'll be back tomorrow. Glad we don't have to work."

"You're an idiot, but I warned you," Provenza said and hung up the phone. Andy continued to drive and then started to think about her waiting in the room. He dialed her number.

"Hey, it's me," he said. "Ahh, do you want food again?"

"Food?" she asked.

Andy rolled his eyes as if she could see, "Yeah, food, like the junk you eat? You know all about eating junk especially when this type of evening is involved."

"Oh, ahh, no," she said. "I'm fine right now. I ate here at the resort, out on the patio. I don't need any food right now."

"You sure? What's the plan for later?" he asked.

"I'd say the plan is the same as we had each night on the road," she explained.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I mean, what's the food plan for later? I'll be hungry tonight. Are we like going to dinner together? What about breakfast tomorrow? Is this like a vacation for us?"

"It's not," she sighed. "Look, I'm not wanting to parade around with you like we are together on a vacation. It's not you, but that's just my expectation for the trip. I suppose we can do our own things or just order room service later. I'll make sure you don't starve so we can enjoy all our time here. I hope you understand we aren't some couple."

"Loud and clear," he raised his hand in the car and caught a car passing by him staring at him as he did so. He dropped it to finish the call. "I'm now about 10 minutes away. I'll be there soon."

"Room 830," she cleared her voice.

"Roger that," he said and hung up the phone.

Andy finished his drive, found the resort, and he followed the signs to the parking area. He gathered his things and started for the building, looking around at the resort. There were different buildings, and he found the 800 building. The resort had an almost villa style feel to it, and from what he could tell, she'd gotten a poolside room. He figured it was probably what was available, but he could see the ocean between the buildings. With his things in hand, he made his way to her door. Before he knocked, he looked down to check his appearance. He looked good, at least he thought he did. He'd put on dark jeans, black loafers, and a red button up shirt, where he'd rolled the sleeves. He'd left a couple buttons unbuttoned on the top of his shirt for the casual look. The red shirt was festive he thought. It felt odd to him it was Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas. His kids had certainly blown off any chance of seeing him over the next few days. He'd not spent a Christmas like this, in a hotel with a woman, especially one with an arrangement like this. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he'd spend a Christmas with her, with Raydor. It was now or never. He put his bag down and knocked on the door. It didn't take long for her to answer.

His mouth dropped open again when she opened the door, "Merry Christmas," she nodded to him. "Come inside the suite," she gestured with her hand.

"Merry Christmas," he grumbled, amazed to find his voice at all. "I've got my very own Santa here, dressed in red."


	8. Chapter 8

"Wow, Chief really is on a roll today," Andy sighed as he almost whispered to Provenza. "Thanks for getting us out of her hair with the suggestion we go get the witness statement."

Provenza looked up at him smugly, "Did I just hear you thank me for something? What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" Andy gestured as they walked to the elevator. "I'm glad to be getting out of the office for awhile. We can get that statement, get some lunch, and hopefully, when we get back, Chief has a new box of chocolate. Even better," he gestured with one finger, "we can bring her some candy. That will help."

"You're in a good mood. Why?" Provenza eyed him.

Andy shrugged as they waited on the elevator, "I'm looking forward to a couple days off starting tomorrow and not being on call tonight. Do you realize how long it's been we haven't been on call for New Year's Eve, I mean the whole night of New Year's Eve? We get to get out of here tonight at 11 because the chief came up with that dumb shared officer duty plan. At least we don't have the overnight shift. We're off for New Year's Day and the next day. That's like a holiday miracle!"

"Yeah, well," Provenza groaned and shook his head, "if anything good came out of that awful trip and case, it was that now, we will get some time off. I don't even consider Christmas as being off because we still worked into that morning, and the suspect died. I spent the day with my family, which that was a lot," he rolled his eyes. "And, I know where you were, Casanova."

"Yup," Andy grinned. "I was at that hotel."

Provenza turned to him and eyed him as the elevator numbers got closer to their floor, "Oh, please don't tell me there's a repeat of events for New Year's Eve tonight? I didn't even think of that! Flynn, you are an idiot."

Andy shook his head, "There's no repeat. Nope, we agreed that was it. It was like our grand finale; she doesn't want more."

"Where is this elevator?" Provenza grimaced and pushed on the buttons again. "I swear this building is falling apart. What do you mean grand finale? It's finally over?"

Andy shrugged, "I don't know. She said it was, but she's said that before. I feel like this kind of crossed her invisible line, even though by even suggesting it back here in L.A., she crossed that line. She didn't like me sleeping there all night, but what was I supposed to do? She invited me, and you know," he shrugged, "sleep had to be involved at some point. I have never met a woman so matter of fact, and she is. She spells out what she wants, and that's it. There's no grand romance, just it is what it is."

Provenza groaned and grimaced, "So, this wasn't some hour thing that you were back home that night?"

"Nope," Andy flashed a grin and rocked on his heels. "I came home the next day."

Provenza narrowed his gaze at Andy, "Oh, please tell me the events were restricted to the room? Please tell me this didn't keep occurring like out on the beach or anywhere else."

"Nope," Andy shook his head. "It was just the room, a few times. It was a nice room. She was just weird about even going to eat something together. She kept saying we aren't a couple, which I get, but hello, we were both hungry after all that. The most we did together outside sleeping together was eat breakfast on the balcony, and that was only because it was room service, and she didn't even sit down for that. No, even the night before, she sent me out on my own to get my own dinner and said she wasn't hungry. She stayed behind in the room to take a bath or whatever. Oh, I guess we did get massages the next morning," he nodded.

"Massages!" Provenza's eyes flew open as he screamed. "Do not tell me anything more. I don't want to hear it."

"Calm down," Andy shook his head. "Nothing happened with that. It was relaxing and part of some package she got." He was going to say more, but the elevator finally arrived at their floor. The door opened, and Provenza groaned instantly as they noted Sharon was on the elevator, along with two patrol officers.

Andy met Sharon's gaze and gave her a quick nod as he and Provenza stepped onto the elevator. He nodded to the patrol officers as well, "Afternoon, Captain, officers."

Provenza just nodded, the officers grumbled their greeting, and Sharon cleared her throat, "Afternoon, lieutenants."

Andy looked to the floor and sighed as he noted her standing there. She had a stack of paperwork in her hands and was wearing a black pant suit with a blouse. He decided to see what she was thinking, "Working for New Year's, Captain?"

The elevator stopped, and the patrol officers got off on the floor below, while Sharon cleared her throat, "No, I'm off, thankfully. Did I hear your division went to some modified schedule?"

"Chief has us sharing the load," Provenza explained. "Flynn and I are on until almost midnight tonight. So, Captain," he smirked at her, "big plans tonight?" The elevator continued now with just the three of them.

"Actually, I do have plans. I'm going to a party thrown by a friend. I'm rather excited to get out this evening," she gave him a half smile. "I hope your division isn't too busy, and I sincerely hope my division isn't called out for anything regarding your division."

"Captain, I don't want to see anyone from your division tonight, believe me," Provenza smirked at her. "I've seen enough of you lately with that trip, and we all know Flynn, here, has too."

"Hey!" Andy turned to glare at Provenza. He turned back toward Sharon, "So, a party tonight, huh? Are you taking some date? Do you need some date?"

"No," she said firmly at the same moment Provenza smacked Andy on the back of his head. "I'm going alone, which is what I want. My friend, Gavin is throwing the party."

"Gavin," Andy put his finger to his mouth and continued, "wait, the lawyer, right?"

"Yes, that Gavin," she rolled her eyes. The elevator door opened, "This is me. Good luck with work, gentlemen," she said as she stepped around them, her perfume lingering in the air. Andy let out a small sigh as he smelled it.

"Captain," he called out and she turned back briefly as he started to speak, "red, that's a great color on you," he nodded to her blouse. "It's very festive." He winked. She rolled her eyes at him and turned to walk away. They could hear her heels clicking as the elevator closed.

"What is wrong with you?" Provenza smacked Andy's head again.

"Hey! You're giving me a headache," Andy reached up to rub his head.

"I was hoping I was knocking some sense into you. Idiot. Your little fling with her is over. You told me that. You don't go around flirting with the captain, specifically the captain of FID, telling her she has a nice blouse!" Provenza yelled and gestured in the elevator. It arrived on the ground floor in the parking garage, and the stepped off it.

"Yeah, well, whatever. It's over. She's not going to write me up. She knows what I was talking about. The lingerie she had on at the hotel, it was red," he said as a small grin formed on his face, and his mind started to wander. He was pulled out of it when he was smacked on the back of the head again.

"I have told you I don't want to hear it. THAT was way too much information. Now, I'll never get that out of my head, the image of the captain wearing that color red as lingerie. Flynn, now I'm sick to my stomach."

"Well, you've really hurt my head," he rubbed it.

"This whole thing was a bad idea, and now, you're walking around the building almost drooling thinking about every encounter with her. You said it's over, so get her out of your mind. We've got work to do. Get in the car," Provenza pointed and walked to the driver door. Andy continued to rub his head and sighed.

"Oh, I'm trying to get her out of my mind, but there was something in the way she looked at me when she got off the elevator," he gestured with his hand, pointing it at Provenza as they climbed into the car. "I have a feeling this fling is far from over. I'm going to find out."

Andy and Provenza finished their odd shift hours as per the chief's instruction for the night. She didn't want anyone or everyone having to work the shift, so she'd split it up, but that made it almost worse for some. Thankfully, Provenza and Andy came out of their part of the shift without a murder call out and wished the same luck to Julio and Tao as they came on shift for the next part of the evening. The chief and Gabriel were taking the shift after that. Andy didn't want to think about work anymore for the night. He had other thoughts.

His thoughts centered around the look she-the captain or Sharon or whatever he was supposed to call her-had given him in the elevator. The two really hadn't discussed names for each other, which was odd in the situation they were now in, but it hadn't been a topic. In fact, not much had been a topic of conversation. They'd been together a few times, and each time, they'd had their fun, and he'd gone on his way, except this last time at the beach. As Andy drove in his car now at the end of his shift, he thought back to that day, realizing just how awkward it had been.

 _"Thank you for coming to the hotel for this," she said in an almost matter of fact tone when they had finished the first round. The two were sprawled on the bed, not touching each other, and while Andy was lying on his back looking at the ceiling, she was on her side looking at the wall._

 _"Sure, thanks for the invite," he told her._

 _"You're welcome to go now," she cleared her throat to tell him. "I told you we didn't need to worry about dinner. We can be done here."_

 _"We are?" he asked and propped himself up on his elbow hoping she would look at him. She didn't. "No offense, but I drove down here, yeah, it's not that far, but I drove down here for the night. Like, I'm expecting us to do that again at least a couple more times." He ran his hand up her side over the sheet. She didn't move or respond to that, and after doing that a few times, he stopped._

 _She continued to stay on her side, "Oh, well, I hadn't thought you would stay all night. I'm not here to get wrapped up in a romance. I honestly thought you'd leave after this. I know I didn't clarify it on the phone, or maybe I should have said that while I'm staying you aren't, but I figured we'd finish, and you would leave. It was fun."_

 _"Yeah, but that doesn't have to end right now. We've got all night before we have to leave tomorrow," he explained._

 _"I suppose you can stay and use the massage package I have for the morning. The room came with a couple massage, but let me be clear we aren't a couple," she sighed, still looking away._

 _"I'd like that. I know what we are, or I should say what we aren't. No string attached. Will you look at me, please?" he asked._

 _"I'm going to get a bath," she shook her head and continued to stare at the wall. "I think you should go and find some dinner or something, especially if this is going to continue all night. I'll see you in a couple hours."_

 _"Okay," he said slowly and sighed. He shook his head and rolled over to find his clothing. He slowly got dressed while she stayed rooted to her spot. He stood when he was dressed and looked back at her, still on her side in the bed. "Want me to bring you anything? Want me to wait on you to go with me?"_

 _"Just my robe, there," she gestured. "I don't want any food, and I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to relax in a bath."_

 _"Want this red lingerie too?" he bent over to pick it up off the floor. "Nice taste. Good color. It looked good on you, the solid red, almost like you were a Santa. It certainly did the trick with me," he grinned, hoping she would look up at him. She didn't._

 _"It was something I had at home," she sighed. "It's just a simple red slip. It is Christmas, I realize. Just put it there on the end of the bed. I'll see you in a couple hours."_

 _"Okay," he sighed. "I'll take a room key and see you later."_

She didn't say anything more, and he left the room. As he thought about that now, here in the car, he shook his head, knowing that she hated that he'd stayed all night. It was what it was. It worked, and he didn't see what the big deal was about staying all night. Nothing had come of it. They had their fun, and the two had gone their separate ways in the morning. He'd ordered room service for breakfast first, not sure of what she wanted because she'd gone for a very early walk on the beach, even leaving the room before he started to wake up. He'd had a fruit tray, eggs, and toast waiting when she got back, but she picked at things like a bird instead of sitting down with him to eat a regular meal. When they got ready to leave, she had even told him to leave first, as she wanted to get one last shower after they'd slept together one more time that morning. Andy now nodded to himself that he had to know if she wanted to do this again.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself knocking on her condo door. He knew where she lived because it had been on the email she'd sent him with the hotel instructions. He'd even mentioned it to her, that he had her address. She'd shrugged it off, as if she didn't care or mind, and now, here he was, just after midnight, so now it was January 1st. He was at her door and hoping they could have another enjoyable night to start off the new year.

He knocked again. He waited, but she didn't answer. He rested his arm against the door and sighed. That's when he remembered she said she was going to Gavin's party. He'd even thought about it earlier in the evening, wondering if she was taking a guy, meeting a guy, or picking up a guy at the party. He listened to see if she was really home or was even home entertaining someone. She wasn't. The condo was silent, so he turned and started back to the elevator, now defeated. He had high hopes that showing up here tonight, the two could maybe enjoy each other another night, another holiday, but she wasn't home.

He waited for the elevator again and dug out his phone, intent on calling Provenza. He knew the guy would be up drinking, and he wanted to make sure he wasn't sitting in a bar in need of a ride. Provenza was normally good about that, but Andy didn't want to get all the way home and have Provenza call him then. He wanted to check on him now before making the long drive home.

"What are you doing here in my building?" he heard and snapped his head up when the elevator opened. His eyes darted around, taking in her dress and tousled appearance. She had her heels in her hand and looked like she'd had a couple drinks. She had on a black, knee-length cocktail dress. It had a simple bead design on it, but he didn't think he'd seen her look better than she did in that dress. He shook his head.

"I, ahh, came over here to see if you wanted to enjoy each other's company one more time?" he told her as he almost asked it in a question format. "Look, I was so focused that I forgot you were out for the evening. I know you've been at a party and maybe have other plans. I'm sure you've had a few drinks. Not to worry," he raised his hands, "I'll go. I just thought we were on the same page earlier today. At least let me help you get to your door, and I'll go. I know this is breaking all the rules you've set. I'm sorry I showed up here."

She stood there, and he nodded that she was probably stunned to see him and slightly drunk too. He put his arm on her back to make sure she was steady enough to walk down the hall. She started to walk when his hand touched her back, and then he leaned in a little closer, "You didn't drive home, did you?"

"No," she shook her head and spoke quietly as she held out her key. He'd noted she had it in her hand when she got off the elevator. "Gavin hired two drivers tonight to take people home. He sent me home. I had a couple drinks earlier, but I'm fully aware of things now," she said and turned to him now at her door. She looked up at him, and he looked at her.

Neither one was sure who started the kiss, but quickly, the two were kissing and arms were flying around, grasping at clothing. Soon, clothing started to move, shift, and be discarded, while Sharon fumbled for the door. Andy heard the lock click, and he pushed open the door with his foot as the two continued to pull at each other and their clothing. He started walking her backward toward the condo now that the door was open. Her back opened the door more as clothing started to fly. He kicked his shoe and heard it hit the wall behind her inside the condo. Once he was inside the condo, he fumbled with his foot behind him and kicked at the door to close it.

"You sure you want to do this?" Andy whispered in her ear. "I'm not here to take advantage."

"I'm in complete control," she sighed. "I didn't invite anyone home with me tonight."

"Where's the bedroom?" he asked as the two continued to kiss and move slowly across the condo.

"We're not using the bedroom," she said breathlessly and shook her head. "That's not happening. No time. I can't have you staying. I need this to happen and for you to go home. Here, now," she nodded to where they were.

"Couch?" he asked, nodding to it. She nodded back, and they moved toward it. "I won't stay if you want to use the bedroom."

"No, we're doing this right now, and then you are leaving," she said adamantly. "It's going to be now or never."

"Okay," he replied between kisses. He put his hands in her hair, and the two moved toward the couch, with things progressing quickly.

He wasn't sure how much later it was, but he knew he hadn't been there long. Andy sighed as he sat on the couch looking out at her spectacular view. Fireworks could still be seen over the city. He knew it was well beyond midnight, but it didn't feel that late. They hadn't spent a lot of time together, and now, he was fumbling in the dark for some of his clothing. He'd tried to turn on the lamp, but he realized she must have them on a switch too because he couldn't turn it on. She'd disappeared down the hall, telling him she was going to use the bathroom. It was awkward. It felt awkward. Something about all this in her home now felt odd, but he couldn't place it. She was an odd one. He wasn't sure if she had enjoyed it or thought it was the worst idea ever. He continued to fumble, grateful he'd found some of his clothing. His hands stumbled across a stack of magazines, now on the floor. He blindly reached down and picked them up. Andy put them on her coffee table and let out a long sigh.

"I think you should go," she said. That had him snapping his head toward her, and he found her standing at the hallway entrance, her arms crossed and now in a long sweater. He didn't see any leggings or pants, and he found himself staring. The hallway light was just enough for him to see her there.

"Look, I hope this way okay, my coming by here tonight. After I found out you weren't home, this wasn't my plan," he sighed.

She nodded, "Coming here and sleeping with me was your plan. I understand that. I am okay with that, but I feel this needs to end. It's a new year now, and I think we need to end this. It's been fun, but it has run its course. I assume you are cleaned up now and can go?"

"Did I do something wrong to get this response?" he gestured. "I can stay for more." She was still standing there, her head against the wall.

"No," she sighed. "This was what it was. We can't keep doing this. I think you need to finish dressing and go. I'd had a fun evening. You were the final piece to that. My slight buzz is wearing off now, and I just need to get some clarity. Thank you for the fun."

"I'm working on it," he sighed. "I can't find my shirt or socks." She flipped a switch, and the lights came on in the room. He stood and leaned down to pick up her black dress, the gorgeous black dress she'd quickly discarded, and he'd now found by the end table.

Sharon nodded to him when he handed it to her. The two squinted at the brightness and started looking for his clothing. "Your socks are here," she walked to the entryway table and picked them up off the floor.

"That dress was wow," he said as he whistled through his teeth. "Obviously, it did something for me." He looked around the room and found her still dark Christmas tree in the corner. "What's up with all the angels? I feel like they are staring at us. I'm glad I didn't see this before, or I'm not sure I could have done this out here with the angel ornaments."

"I like angels," she rolled her eyes. "Things went just fine with my ornaments," she shook her head, irritated that he was commenting on her décor. "Look, this isn't going to turn into more tonight. I'm going to bed."

"I know. I can't find my shirt," he said, looking around again. She looked too, and then she walked to the front door, opened it, and she nodded to him.

"It's here,' she said as she stepped into the hall and picked it off the floor where it must have landed when they were getting started. "It's already on its way out. I think you need to go. This was fun. I just can't get involved any further. It needs to end. You did nothing wrong. It was good," she shrugged. "Let's just start the year off on a new foot. Thank you for all of this," she said and stuck out her hand to shake his. He looked at it and eyed her. He shook it, almost afraid he was being rude if he didn't, but it felt very odd to him.

"Look, I hope we are okay and can be civil at work," he said as he walked to the door. She had his shirt on the tip of her finger.

"We're fine," she said, crossing her arms after he took his shirt. "That's why this needs to end now. We need to stay professional. I can't keep doing this."

"Okay," he nodded. "I had a good time even if I wasn't here even an hour," he chuckled.

"Hmm, yes, it was fun after my evening out. I'm going to get some sleep. This was a good agreement. Thank you for sticking to most of it," she looked up at him. "Let's just call this what it was-two colleagues helping each other through the holidays."

"Most of it?" he asked.

"I mean, I set the rule for not in Los Angeles. I know we just broke it. Let's not worry about that. This was a good way for us to end," she nodded. "It's a new year now. We can go back to our lives."

"Okay," he said slowly and put on his shirt. He'd worn a t-shirt, so he just threw it on over his head. "For what it's worth, I don't think you'll want to just walk away. Except for tonight, you've been the one asking me to come to you. I'm okay with that. In fact, it's been a holiday thing, so let me just leave you with this. I'll plan to see you again on Valentine's Day, Captain," he nodded and saluted her as he started down the hall, his shoes still in his hand. He'd put them on in the elevator where he could go over the events of the last hour.


	9. Chapter 9

After Andy left that night, he called Provenza, partly to see if he needed a ride home and partly to talk. The whole situation had been awkward, but he also had a feeling Sharon-he'd decided to call her Sharon after they'd slept together on multiple occasions, even though he felt it might be breaking her precious rules-might just have freaked out and would cool down eventually. It wasn't like he needed her, but they'd been enjoying each other, and he hoped it would continue for the near future. Neither had any other prospects, and he knew that if and when one did, he and Sharon would go their separate ways. Her quick dismissal of him, he felt, was just her knee-jerk reaction to the evening's events. Things had been rushed. The night had not been planned, and when he was honest about everything, he nodded to himself that planning or lack of planning for the evening was probably the root of the problem. Every other time, the night had been planned, all by Sharon. This one hadn't, and he had a feeling that was why she wanted him gone quickly. She hadn't had time to process it, to pull the emotional side out of it, and he believed she'd come back to him eventually. He wasn't kidding when he'd suggested Valentine's Day.

As far as Andy saw it, they had a good thing going that was working. The two barely knew anything personal about each other, aside from the general family information, but this was going well, their arrangement. On each of these night, they didn't talk about their feelings, at least not about anything important. They didn't discuss their lives, aside from what they had discussed in the car ride across the country. He was okay with that. She was okay with that. It had been working. Yes, they'd started all of this on the road, but since then, they had been together Christmas and now New Year's. What was wrong with a goal of major holidays? He'd made his plan clear; he was going to check in with her closer to Valentine's Day. For now, he needed to focus on work, which is what Provenza had told him that night.

"Let me get this straight," Provenza said after Andy picked him up at the bar after he listened to Andy's abridged version of the night. The two men were in the car, and he'd explained to Provenza that he'd gone to see if Sharon was interested in another good time, and that good time had lasted less than an hour. "You stopped by her place, she wasn't home, but you ran into her when you were leaving, and you almost undressed each other in the hall?"

"Yeah, that's about it," Andy sighed. "I know you don't want to hear it. I think she's freaked out now. I mean, my shirt was in the hall. We wasted no time. I could have been at an hour parking meter and still had time on the meter. Whatever," Andy threw up his hand as he drove.

"She said it's over, so it is," Provenza shrugged as if he was stating a fact. "She obviously doesn't find you as desirable as you think you are. She got her fill of you, and she's done. Flynn, you and I have done that to women plenty of times. For us, those were one-night stands. This lasted longer than that, but it's the same idea."

"I know," he waved his hand. "I get that. I just don't want it to be weird at work, and for the record," he pointed his finger in the air from where it was resting on the steering wheel, "I think she'll come back for the holidays. Valentine's Day is the next big one," he grinned. "I think it just has to be her idea. This time was the only time it wasn't her idea. Thanks for listening," he patted his shoulder, and Provenza looked to him horrified that he had been touched. Andy smirked at him, and then he nodded at his own thoughts. "That's what it is," Andy continued to nod, "her idea, or at least she needs time to process it. I'll wait until Valentine's Day, and if I haven't heard from her, I'll put the idea in her head. I think that will work."

Provenza chuckled, "You really think after going at it for what, the last week or so, you're now going to walk away from her? I hope you do, Flynn, but I know you better than you think. This is like dangling a Ding Dong in front of the chief. You won't be able to just walk away. Just you try."

"Oh, I can wait it out," he grinned. "Besides, we aren't in an arrangement. If someone else comes along, for either of us, it's not a problem. I've had my fun to last me a bit now. We'll see how things go. I'm always looking for a good time."

Things didn't go anywhere over the next few weeks, at least on Andy's end. He didn't know if Sharon had moved onto someone else or was just still stuck in her head, worried things had gotten too personal at her condo. From what Andy could see, Sharon was serious about things being over. He'd seen her in the building a couple of times, and they'd both been civil, so he didn't feel they'd ended badly, but she'd also kept her distance. She hadn't sent him any emails or called him to suggest they meet up again anytime soon. He thought about it often, but his mind kept circling back to the idea that she was taking a step back, but she would reach out for the holidays. He was planning to do so. He appreciated she didn't give him an evil eye or pretend he wasn't in the room. No, she didn't do that. She was professional, and he acted the same toward her. She was an odd one, he kept telling himself. He'd never been with anyone so just matter of fact about it all, and it was sort of refreshing. The second week of January, she was in and out of their office three times, working on case details with their division, and he'd interacted just fine with her. She'd been business as usual, which was also how she'd been with their arrangement. He'd signed her paperwork for the case, and she'd nodded her thanks to him. He'd watched her work her way around the room, and then, she'd left. Provenza had thrown a wad of paper at him, pulling him away from staring at her as she walked out of the room, and that had been enough to snap him out of his daze.

By the first week of February, though, he was starting to get antsy. He hadn't been around anyone else, and he was secretly hoping Sharon would suggest they get together for Valentine's Day, not that they would go out or anything. No, he was fine if they met up at his place, her place, or a hotel. It didn't matter. He had a feeling she didn't want him back at her place, and it was his impression that was too personal. He wasn't supposed to be IN her life and being in her condo was IN her life. He was okay with that, and Andy planned to suggest his place. He could offer the clean slate she wanted. His place was fine, clean, in fact, and he'd be fine with her coming there. It was also far away from downtown, and they could have their privacy from anyone in the LAPD. So, when she had a meeting with Chief the second week of February and barely gave him a glance as she left the meeting, he decided to approach her with his thoughts. It was time.

He didn't follow her out of the office; that would have been too obvious, but he waited. He sat at his desk and waited, watching his computer clock change minutes, slowly. He waited a full five minutes, and then he stood up from his desk. He straightened his tie, and he looked at Provenza.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee and take a quick walk. My leg is falling asleep," he gave him a nod and started for the door. The rest of the team looked up from their paperwork quickly and then didn't give him a second glance. It was mid-afternoon, and a coffee break and quick walk was somewhat normal. Provenza, though, eyed him, and he shook his head. Andy gave him a quick shrug, the two men such good friends, Provenza knew exactly where Andy was about to go.

Andy made sure to walk by Provenza's desk and flashed him a quick grin. The rest of the team missed it. Provenza muttered, "Don't burn yourself."

Andy tried to hold back his chuckle because he knew the intention of that comment, but it sounded like a coffee comment. He winked at Provenza and started toward Sharon's office. He hated doing this at work, but he was afraid he'd spook her otherwise. Besides, she'd just been to his office, so all he planned to say was that he needed to sign paperwork for her.

Andy decided to take the stairs to her office, and as much as he hated to step onto the FID floor, he was almost desperate to get an answer. Valentine's Day was less than a week away.

"Hi," he stopped at her secretary's desk. FID was different than many of the other departments and ran more like an actual office. Sharon had a secretary there to field calls and do a lot of the filing because the department was frequently bringing in officers from all over the LAPD for interviews. "Lieutenant Flynn, for the captain. She was just by my division with paperwork. I think I still need to sign something."

"Yes, Lieutenant," she nodded as she gave him a small smile. "She's not back yet, but she's a very busy woman with a lot paperwork only she can handle."

"Oh," he frowned. "I must have missed her in the building. Okay, I'll stop back later," he flashed a smile. "Thanks for the help."

"I can see if she wants to come to you?" the secretary offered.

"No, that's fine," he waved his hands by his side. "I'll catch up with her later."

"Molly, I would appreciate if you could file this, please," the two turned toward a side door, and Andy tried not to smirk when he saw Sharon coming through that door. Her office had a main entrance, one he'd used, but like most offices, it had other doors leading to other hallways. She was now just coming into the room from a different hallway. He eyed her today, noting she had on another reallly great dress, a dark green one with a black blazer over it. Somehow, she even made work clothing look hot.

"Captain, yes," Molly nodded and took the stack of paperwork. Andy stared at Sharon, and she glanced toward him when she handed over the paperwork. "Oh, Lieutenant Flynn here said he missed you in his division, but that his signature was needed on some paperwork." Molly smiled at Sharon and then back at Andy as she explained his presence.

"Hi," he eyed her and gave her a fake smile.

"I'm not sure I have anything for you to sign," Sharon said, trying to move him out of the office.

"Yeah, you got every signature but mine. I'll be out of your hair quickly. Promise," he held up his hand.

Sharon pursed her lips, "Let's see what I need from you. I don't remember needing anything at all from you, but come into my office, and I will double check my paperwork."

"Oh, Captain," Molly called to her. Sharon turned, and Andy almost ran into her as she did. He flashed a grin, and she pretended to not see it when she looked to Molly. "I confirmed your dentist and doctor for next week. I'm waiting to hear about your vision."

Andy shook his head and looked to Sharon, "Those physical each year are so annoying. Best to be in top physical health. I'm sure you are," he winked as he caught her eye, away from Molly. She scowled and gestured for him to enter her office.

"Thank you, Molly," she gave a quick nod. "I'll be done with Lieutenant Flynn very soon."

Andy waited for Sharon to close her office door, and as soon as she did, he crossed his arms and waited for her to turn toward him. She did with an irritated look on her face, "Lieutenant, this needs to be work related."

"Yeah, yeah, and our time together needed to be out of the city," he rolled his eyes. "Look, I get it. I'm not here to take up a lot of your time or anything. It's been awhile," he suggested, standing by her desk while she stood by the door. "I know things weren't what you planned last time-" she cut him off.

"No, can we just forget it all? I said after the last time that we were done. Clean break," she sighed and shook her head as she looked away from him.

"Fine, whatever, but I know we enjoyed each other's company, several times, in fact. It's been fun. I was wanting to see or suggest to you, so you can think about it, that we get together again for Valentine's Day," he offered a simple shrug. "No strings. I'm not looking for romance, as you have clearly pointed out each time. It's just a day, Valentine's Day, but it's another holiday of sorts. Ironic, it's the holiday of love and all, but this isn't that. This is just the two of us-" she cut him off.

"Using each other," she nodded and crossed her arms. She left them like that for a few moments before she uncrossed them and dropped them to her side. "Look, I'm working on Valentine's Day this year. Sorry, but it's not going to work."

"You could come to my place after work?" he suggested, with a question in the air. "I realize your place might be too personal. I'm offering mine. If you don't want that, I'll spring for a nice place, a decent hotel. We can have the same rules."

She shook her head, "That won't work. I'm working, and when on call, I'm not going to mix business with pleasure. I don't want to do this when I'm working."

"Okay, fine," he shrugged. "That holiday doesn't work, so we can pick a different date to be our pseudo holiday. Name it," he shrugged. "Your reasoning doesn't make much sense to me because you were technically working on our drive across the country."

"What are you not getting? I don't want to continue this," she sighed. "I'm busy anyway. I'm working on Valentine's Day, but then, I'm taking a week to visit my daughter. I love winter in New York," she smiled as he watched her mind trail off to some distant thoughts. "I'll be gone visiting her. I'm going to a conference the second week of March, and I'm going to see my son on the end of that. The conference is north of San Francisco, and he lives to the south. I'm busy for the next few weeks," she gave him a look.

"Fine," he raised his hands in defeat. "There are plenty of days in there you aren't busy, but it is what it is. You want to be done, so fine. I'll respect that. It was good while it lasted. I'll move on then."

"Yes, it was fine, and thank you," she nodded. "Before you go, you probably should sign your name on something, so it does look like we were completing paperwork."

"Sure," he nodded and walked to her desk. She walked around her desk and handed him a piece of paper. He signed it, looked up to hand it back, and caught her gaze. Andy winked at her.

She rolled her eyes, but then she cleared her throat again, "Thank you for keeping everything between us. I mean, I realize you talk to Provenza, but I know the two of you won't say anything," she told him. "My professional life is important to me. I try very hard to be discreet. As far as the office knows, I have a husband, and that keeps the questions away. I've never been involved with anyone else in the LAPD, and I feel that, odd as it is, you won't mention this around the building."

"Sure," he nodded. "Look, I know I have a reputation around here, but I'm not interested in spreading gossip about you and me. I hope we are okay?"

"Everything between us is fine. From it starting as a one-time idea, I got more than I ever planned out of this arrangement, and I hope it was what you needed," she nodded.

"It worked for me. Okay, then," he tapped on her desk and started to the door, leaving her standing at hers. When he got to the door, he turned back to her before opening it, "Just know, I'm around if you want to get together again. I jotted down my address on that paper," he nodded, and she looked to where he'd done just that. She hadn't even looked at what he'd written when he'd used her pen. "Stop by, call, whatever. I'll be glad to make time for more of this," he waved his hand. "Captain, you might have to work for Valentine's Day, but there's always St. Patrick's Day and Easter coming up," he flashed a grin. "We can look at federal holidays, like president birthdays, too, if that helps."

"That will be all, Lieutenant," she cleared her throat, dismissing him with her hand as she sat down at her desk. Andy frowned, turned, and left, now wondering what he'd do for Valentine's Day.


	10. Chapter 10

He didn't see her on Valentine's Day. It hadn't been as hard as he'd imagined staying away from her. She'd been clear with him that she had a lot going on in her life, not that he believed for a minute she couldn't find time for some fun if she wanted, but it was fine. He'd adopted the mantra that she just wasn't that into him. He understood it and had felt the same with women too. Their fun had been convenient, and he really believed that if she wanted to find him for another good time, she knew where to find him.

Andy spent Valentine's Day with Provenza. After work, the two men went to the local bar and grill where they ate and talked for a couple hours. They watched a basketball game on tv there, even though neither really liked basketball. Both men were just over the stupid, made-up holiday. Their night ended with Andy dropping off Provenza, who'd had a few drinks, and then with Andy returning to his home. Andy wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was a little disappointed Sharon didn't reach out to him that night, even after work, but it was what it was. She'd been a good time for awhile, and it was time to move on.

So, Andy put some effort into that, into getting out and socializing. If he'd learned one thing from Sharon, it was that he needed to get out more and not just pick up random women at the bar with Provenza. She was classy, and he could apparently attract classy if he put in some effort. Now, he could attract younger women too if he wanted. That was always there as a last resort, but he could maybe put more effort into dating and going on an actual date. It was an odd feeling, that in not dating Sharon at all had made him want to date another woman. Andy realized that maybe he was finally growing up and changing his standards, maybe. The temptation of a quick thrill was still there, so he was somewhat torn and decided to just relax. The right woman would come along for him, and with that, he felt it would be clear her interests and intentions. All he wanted to do was treat the woman well, with respect, and he was okay going along with whatever she wanted right now.

Now, that didn't mean he wasn't interested in Sharon. He had to admit if she came looking for him, he would jump at that opportunity again. He almost couldn't believe he was thinking that, that he would sleep with Sharon Raydor again, but he would.

So, over the next few weeks, Andy settled back into his life, the "Pre-Raydor Road Hook-Up" as he was now almost coining it. It became more and more of a distant thought, at least until he would run into her in the building. She'd been fine with him, but the two hadn't been friends before either. They weren't now, but on the rare instances she saw him, she was polite. She'd nod, give a small smile, or say hello to him. It was clear Chief didn't like her, and really, no one in the division did, so it wasn't like Sharon was around his office. When she needed something, he'd watch her, and yes, he'd think of their time together-how could he not? She'd been a lot of fun.

With all this in mind, Andy had been paying attention to women, but he hadn't found one he wanted to take to dinner yet. On this evening, he and Provenza were once again meeting for dinner at the same bar and grill. Andy had gone to his meeting, and Provenza has been asked to come by and see his ex-wife Liz to help her with a broken bathroom faucet. As Andy sat in the bar and grill waiting for Provenza, he started laughing at the mental image of Provenza fixing anything. The guy was a teddy bear, even when it concerned Liz. The two had been divorced now twice and for years, but he still felt the need to help her. Andy shook his head as he imagined Provenza fixing a faucet and was pulled out of his thoughts when the waitress stopped by the table.

"Hey, stranger," she smiled. "You're back again. You were just here a couple weeks ago, right?"

"Umm, yeah," Andy gave her a slight frown as he eyed her. He certainly didn't remember seeing her two weeks ago. She had definitely not been their waitress. He would have remembered. She was small, a petite frame, and she had very long blonde hair, almost to her waist. She was in her early 30's he guessed, and once he'd given her a quick look, he met her gaze. "Yeah, I was in here a couple weeks ago with my partner."

"Your partner?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah, like my partner. We're cops, detectives actually, LAPD, and we're both lieutenants. It's not what you were thinking," he flashed a grin.

"I had no thoughts about it," she grinned. "Can I get your something to drink, Lieutenant? Your regular waitress, Jessie, will be over in a minute. I'm the manager, and I wanted to personally check on you since she's busy."

"Personally check on me," Andy nodded and shifted so he was facing her and not just turned toward her. "Sure, then, please. I'd like a cranberry juice if you don't mind."

"No problem. Are you sure you don't want anything stronger? Oh," she raised her eyebrows, "maybe you are on duty?"

"Not on duty," he raised his hand in defense and shook his head, "and I just don't drink anymore."

"Ahh," she nodded. "I can certainly get you a cranberry juice. Anything else? How about an appetizer on the house? It's the least I can do for a hardworking detective."

"Really?" he looked surprised. "It's not necessary."

"I'd like to do it," she shrugged. "I'm the manager. Could I interest you in spinach dip? That's my favorite here."

"I'd like that," he grinned. "My partner will complain about the spinach, but that is what makes it perfect."

She chuckled and nodded, "You have a good personality. I can tell. So, is this partner joining you?"

"Yeah, he's on his way. He's on a short leash with the ex-wife, but he'll want a beer. Anything you have on tap will work for him."

"Coming right up," she started away from the table.

"Thanks," Andy nodded and watched her walk away. He nodded to himself. She was cute, pretty even, and she had a sense of humor. She'd obviously watched him the last time they'd been in for dinner, and he had to admit that was a bit flattering. He started to think about if he might have noticed her that last visit, but then his mind trailed off. He was daydreaming longer than he realized because she returned to the table, not only with the drinks, but with the spinach dip too."

"You're in luck, knowing the manager and all," she winked at him. "The spinach dip is nice and hot. The kitchen had that ready quickly for me. You sure your partner is coming?" she asked.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes. "Like I said, ex-wife drama."

She nodded, "What about you? Do you have ex-wife drama, or even wife drama?"

He chuckled, "No, neither. I guess I sometimes have ex-wife drama, but I barely speak to her. There's no drama from any woman in my life."

"That's good to hear," she grinned.

"You seem to be learning an awful lot about me. I know nothing about you. Let's start with you name," he rested his chin on his elbow which he'd now propped on the table.

"I'm Charlotte," she stuck out her hand to shake his. Andy noted her hands were small and soft. He shook her hand and held his eye contact with her.

"Charlotte, like the city?" he asked.

She started to laugh, "I was born in Charlotte, North Carolina, but my parents moved here when I was two months old. Yes, it's like the city."

"Well, Charlotte, like Charlotte, North Carolina, it's nice to meet you," he flashed a grin. "I'm Andy Flynn."

"Ahh, so you could say, 'In Like Flynn' with your name, then?" she smiled brightly.

He pointed one finger at her as he rested his chin now on one hand, "You have a great sense of humor. I like it."

"Hmm, you have a great smile," she said. "It's almost dangerous."

"Sorry I'm late," the two snapped their heads up as Provenza slid into the booth across from Andy. "Oh, are we ordering already? That's perfect. I'll have a bacon cheeseburger with double onion and fries with that."

"Provenza!" Andy exclaimed. "Charlotte is the manager. That's not her job."

"Oh," Provenza looked to Charlotte who was smiling at him and continued, "sorry about that. I thought Flynn was tired of waiting and had ordered."

"I'll put in your orders, lieutenants," she nodded. "What can I get you?" she grinned at Andy.

"I'll do the veggie wrap with the side Caesar salad," he told her. "Appreciate you taking our order."

"Not a problem," she smiled. "Enjoy your evening, gentlemen."

Provenza watched her walk away and turned to Andy who was grinning and staring at her as she walked. He motioned his hand in front of Andy's face, "What was that?"

"That?" Andy shrugged. "She's Charlotte. She's the manager, not our waitress, but come to think of it, I haven't seen our waitress."

"How do you know her, and more importantly, why haven't I heard about her?" Provenza gestured.

"I just met her tonight," Andy explained. "She did come to the table and said something about a welcome back. She saw us here the other night. We just got to talking. She is pretty hot," he nodded.

"Yes, she is," Provenza told him. "So?"

"So," Andy shrugged.

"I mean, are you going to try and take her home with you tonight? I need to know the plan, so I can get out of here before you if you need time with her to figure out the evening," Provenza told him.

Andy drummed his fingers on the table, "I don't know. I've been thinking for awhile now I need to step up my game. I mean," he shrugged, "sure, I can try to take her home. She was flirting and seemed interested, but maybe I should do more. I guess if there's one thing I saw during my fling with Raydor, it is that it's almost cold to send the person packing right away. I didn't really like the feeling, and it just got me thinking. I've been doing that same thing for years, and for once, it was done to me. Maybe I should see about taking her on a date and you know," he shrugged, "seeing about actually dating."

"Are we really going to sit here and talk about your one-night-stand feelings?" Provenza grimaced. "Raydor really did a number on you. I must admit I'm impressed you two walked away from each other without hating each other or some big dramatic scene. That doesn't mean now you have to date any woman who looks your way."

"I know, but still," Andy shrugged. "Charlotte, she seems nice," he added. "I think I'll see if she wants to go out on a date. I mean, I'm not saying we won't end up at my house at the end of the night. I'm not saying we won't sleep together, but I can put in a little more effort. I might find someone worthwhile to date that way. I also have decided I won't just kick her out after a couple hours. She'll be free to go, if she wants, but I can be a decent guy and at least make her breakfast in the morning."

"You really have been thinking about your fling with Raydor, haven't you? Was she that good? I'm sure you can find someone else," he grimaced.

"Here she comes again," Andy nodded. He looked to the table, "Oh, she brought us spinach dip on the house. We should eat that."

Provenza looked over, now just noticing it. The conversation had quickly jumped into a discussion about Charlotte, and both men had forgotten about the food.

"This was free?" he nodded to the dip.

"Yeah, she suggested it," Andy shrugged.

"I'll eat it, only because it's free. You'd better lock this one down, Flynn. At least I don't have to see this one at work like I do Raydor," he groaned.

"Gentlemen how is everything?" she grinned as she reached the table. Andy raised his hand, as he was still chewing his first bite of chips and dip. He finished and nodded, "Delicious. It's perfect. Thanks," he nodded to her.

"I'll be taking care of you two tonight. Seems your regular waitress is slammed. I hope you don't mind," she smiled.

"Great," Andy flashed a grin. "Maybe you can tell me everything about Charlotte tonight then while we eat. I'd love to learn about the city and the person."

Andy and Provenza walked out of the bar and grill an hour and a half later with Andy smacking a piece of paper against his hand. Provenza shook his head, "I thought I was going to have to give her your number, you idiot."

"What?" Andy grinned. "I was trying to play it smooth, casual even. I didn't want to come on strong."

"Strong? She was the one giving us free food and laughing at our stupid stories all night, all the while she's supposed to be managing the restaurant. It was almost painful to watch you try and flirt with her. When are you going to go out with her?" Provenza asked.

"Not sure," he shook his head. "I'll call her in the next day or so and figure out a date."

"You think you'll take her home?" Provenza turned and asked him.

Andy rolled his eyes, "What do you think? I mean, I won't be taking her home to meet my family if that's what you are asking, but yeah, to take her home for the night-if she wants, yes."

"Good man, Flynn," Provenza patted him on the back. "That's the spirit. Get back on the saddle and have some fun. Thank goodness I can push out the image of you with Raydor now."

Andy found himself excited about a potential date a few days later when he and Charlotte finally connected. He'd left her a voicemail the day after he'd met her, she'd returned it when he had been stuck in a case, and they'd played phone tag for three days. Finally, he got in touch with her, but between her work schedule and his, the two weren't sure when a date could happen. Still, it was fun talking to her, and he could tell she was going to fun on a date; they just needed to find the time to go out. That time seemed to happen at the end of a case. The team finished their paperwork early one afternoon, and the chief sent all of them home early after working several late nights in a row. Andy had decided to give Charlotte a call and see what time she was working because he planned to sit and flirt with her at the restaurant. If they couldn't plan a date between their schedules, he could at least flirt with her on his free night.

"Charlotte, it's Andy," he smiled into the phone as he was getting into his car. "I'm off work early and wanted to see what time you are working tonight because I'd like to make a reservation at the restaurant."

"Lieutenant, Andrew, LAPD," she said with a flirty tone into the phone. "You are in luck. The stars have aligned. I'm not working tonight. I'm free ALL night," she chuckled.

"You are off tonight?" he said hopefully.

"I'm not working. I certainly hope I'm not off tonight in whatever I get into," she said suggestively.

"You're killing me," he chuckled. "Can I interest you in a date? I'd love to take you to dinner."

"Is that all?" she said.

"I'm up for anything," he grinned. "You've already told me your address. Pick you up at 6?" he asked.

"Let's push that back to 5:00," she told him. "I'd like to make the most of our evening."

Andy was proud of the effort he made throughout the evening to take Charlotte out to dinner. He'd picked a sushi restaurant because she'd mentioned she liked sushi and enjoyed a different restaurant atmosphere to where she worked. He hadn't wanted to admit it to her, but Andy wasn't a huge sushi fan. It was okay, but really, the dinner wasn't just about the food. It was about making more effort to date a woman, and he felt like that started with taking her to a restaurant of her choosing. After they finished dinner, Charlotte looked up at him as they walked to his car.

"Do you live near here?" she asked. Andy had picked a restaurant near Charlotte's place.

"No, I'm about a half hour from here," he told her.

"Good," she nodded. "I'd love to take a drive. Interested?"

"Would you like to see my place," he started to chuckle. He liked her flirty tone and just forward behavior.

"I thought you'd never ask," she teased. The two reached his car, and before he opened her door, they stood and kissed against the car. Her hands pulled his dress shirt from his pants, and he almost jumped when her cold hands touched his back. He started to chuckle again.

"You have cold hands," he stated.

She shrugged, "I suppose we need to get going then, I mean, before I catch cold."

"My house has heat," he winked.

"Great," she ran her hand down his side. "I can't wait to check out your place."

Andy continued to eye her on the drive, and she looked at him too. He found it hard to focus as he wanted to stare at her legs constantly. She'd worn a very short skirt, and he did like legs. Hers weren't long, but they were in shape. He'd learned she was into yoga, and he was getting more and more excited about a night with her. He could tell she felt the same way. By the time they made it to Andy's house, the two could barely get into the house before they were tugging clothing off each other. Andy took a moment to turn on the lights and lock the doors before the two disappeared into his bedroom. It was still relatively early since they'd had an early dinner. He wasn't sure if she had plans to stay, but he was going to at least offer.

"Wow," he sighed later when they'd collapsed onto the bed. He glanced over at Charlotte and found her lying there too, grinning.

"Wow, indeed," she giggled. "I'm almost mad you took me for sushi."

"Why is that?" he asked as he sat up to look at her.

"Sushi never fills me up. I mean, I love it, but after doing this a few more times, I'm going to be starving. I'm already working up an appetite. You're pretty good at this," she said as she ran her hand up his arm.

He nodded to her, "I think we make a good team. Tell you what-how about a pizza? I didn't eat much at dinner myself. I'm not big into pizza, but they deliver, and that would be easy."

She thought a moment and pursed her lips, "What time is it? It's what 8:30?"

He glanced at the clock and shook his head, "No, it's not even that late. It's 7:45."

She bit her lip and winked at him, "We're just that fast and good."

"That we are," he chuckled as he shook his head. "So, pizza?"

"Sounds great," she sat up and kissed him. "I'm going to use the bathroom. You can order the pizza. Maybe we have time for this again before it gets here."

"Ahh, maybe," he nodded. "We'll need to rest at some point, but I'll order the pizza."

Andy got up, threw on some boxers, and he went in search of his phone while she used his bathroom. He found his phone in his pants, which were on the floor in the middle of his living room. He surveyed the room and grinned. It was somewhat sexy to see clothing discarded around the room. He shook his head, thankful he'd made some effort, and as he was about to go back to the room, he had a knock at the door. He groaned, knowing that he would have to get rid of Provenza before he ruined the evening. He'd not told him of his plans.

"I'm busy, Provenza," he sputtered as he opened his door. His eyes grew wide at the sight on his doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, the surprise evident, but welcome.

"I'm sorry to stop by unannounced," she said, staring at him wide-eyed as he stood there in his boxers. "I realize I should have called." He could see her as she looked around him to the messy living room where clothing was all over the floor and sofa.

He eyed her and noted she was wearing a red sweater dress and black boots. Red. He groaned quietly at that sight. Oh, she was wearing red again, his favorite color on her. The red color instantly had his mind seeing her in the red lingerie from Christmas. It was so simple, but so sexy on her. Andy had to snap out of his thoughts to remind himself she was in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at her, "You came here for something. I gave you my address, what, a month ago? Obviously, you didn't just stop by for a social call. What's going on?"

"I wanted to see you," she let out a slight sigh. "I didn't know, I mean, I wasn't sure if I should call or just stop by. I realize I should have called," she shook her head.

"Oh, Andy," he heard and spun around in the doorway. He groaned as he saw Charlotte walking toward him wearing one of his old LAPD t-shirts and his dress uniform cap. Normally, that vision would be enough to have him slam the door on anyone, but he had Sharon standing there, and even now, after all this time, he didn't want to shut out Sharon.

"I'm so sorry," Sharon said quickly. Andy turned back toward her and found her face flushed. She was shaking her head at him, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your evening. I should have called. Goodnight," she said and turned away from him and started quickly to her car.

"Wait," he called after her. "Why did you come here?"

"Don't worry about it," she called to him. "Enjoy your night."

"Who was that?" Charlotte walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around Andy as she looked around his side.

"My boss," he said quietly, hoping that was a simple answer, even if it wasn't the correct answer.

"Oh, you don't have to go to work, do you?" Charlotte said giving him a pouty face, not at all worried about a strange woman showing up at Andy's door.

He watched Sharon back out of his driveway as he stood in the door. When he felt Charlotte's arms around him, he started to close the door. It felt like he was closing the chapter on Sharon, which also felt odd to him. He turned back to Charlotte, "I'm yours all night."

The next day at work, he was in the break area making himself a cup of coffee when Provenza walked into the room. Andy didn't notice him because his mind was stuck on Sharon. After all this time, he didn't expect her to show up on his doorstep, but she had. He'd told himself over the last month that if she came looking for him again, he'd go willingly, and he was debating about that now. There was something about her he couldn't shake. His night with Charlotte had been enjoyable, but he still had thoughts of Sharon in his head.

"Flynn, what's into you?" Provenza asked as he stepped up to the counter next to Andy.

Andy looked to him and frowned, "I had Charlotte over last night."

Provenza's eyes grew wide, "That bad? No! Was it really that bad? I didn't expect to hear that about her."

"She was fine, great even," Andy shrugged. "No, get this-Raydor showed up on my doorstep!"

"Raydor!" Provenza's eyes grew wide. "No, are you serious?"

"Of course, I'm serious!" Andy almost yelled. "I told you she'd come back for more. I guess after it's been this long now, I thought she was gone for good. Then, the first night I have another woman over to the house, Raydor shows up unannounced. Unbelievable."

Provenza shook his head, "Don't be stupid, Flynn. You just said things were great with Charlotte. Are you seeing her again? Leave Raydor alone. That's over, and you surprised me getting out of that mess without issue, but just leave it. Charlotte seems like she can keep you busy for awhile."

"I don't know, Provenza. She's like the forbidden, Sharon, that is," he sighed. "I have told you I'd be interested again."

"Flynn, just leave it," he hissed. "Don't call her Sharon! You had a few nights with her, and that's it. She's the captain. You aren't involved with her, and she can ruin your life if this gets ugly."

"I'm not exclusive with Charlotte! I'm not sure we will even see each other again. Look, the least I can do is see what's going on with the captain," he nodded.

Provenza shook his head and looked to the ground. He sighed, "I don't even know why you are telling me. With you, I know your mind is made up already. Just go and find out what she wants," Provenza raised his hands in defeat.

"Now, that's the spirit," Andy patted his shoulder as he stepped around him. "That's exactly what I've been planning to do."

It didn't long for Andy to make his way up to her office. He felt like he had an extra spring in his step as he took the stairs, two at a time, in fact. Doing that left him almost breathless as he found himself face to face with Sharon's secretary.

"Andy Flynn, and I'm here to discuss something with the captain," he said as he tried to catch his breath.

"I don't see you on her schedule," she pursed her lips.

Andy grinned, "I'm not. I ran into her yesterday, and I think if you check with her, she'll know what this is regarding. Please," he asked.

"One moment," she nodded. Andy watched her go to the phone, and while she called Sharon's office, he turned to look around at the room. It was an ordinary office, but any officer summoned here hated this place. No one wanted to be here.

"Lieutenant, she said she's busy at the moment," the secretary frowned as she hung up the phone. Andy was about to speak again when Sharon's office door opened quickly, and Andy made eye contact with her. He flashed a grin.

"Lieutenant Flynn, I am quite busy, but let's make this fast," Sharon said with an edge to her voice. Andy nodded and walked toward her, trying to make eye contact with her. Sharon didn't look at him, but instead, she looked to her secretary. "I'll only be a moment."

Andy waited until she closed the door, and when she turned to him, her hands were clasped in front of her, "I'm sorry about stopping by unannounced last night."

He nodded and looked to the floor. He then looked up to take in her appearance. She was wearing a green dress today with a black blazer over it, and that is when he snapped his head up and snapped his finger.

"St. Patrick's Day," he flashed a huge grin. "That's what this is about."

"What?" she asked, the confusion evident on her face.

"You came to my house last night, so we could sleep together again. Today, it's St. Patrick's Day. It's a holiday, and you want this," he gestured to himself. "That's why you came by my house last night," he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, "I can tell you I did not come to your home for St. Patrick's Day. Again, I'm sorry I interrupted your night, but don't flatter yourself that it was about St. Patrick's Day."

"Are you jealous?" he said in a teasing tone. "You left quickly when you saw my lady friend. That could have been you with me last night, could be you even tonight. Hey, I can keep this casual. I've left you alone. YOU," he emphasized, "came to me last night. Don't forget that."

She pursed her lips and looked to the ground. He saw her sigh and shake her head, before she looked up at him, "No, I'm not jealous. You are free to date and sleep around. We are nothing. We have been nothing. I'm sorry I stopped by, so please, let's forget it. I need to get back to work."

"You did come by my house," he nodded. "You can't deny that. So?" he asked.

She looked away for a moment, and then she looked right at him, her green eyes matching her dress, "Can we-" she looked up to the ceiling in the middle of her sentence.

He smirked, "Ahh, so you are a bit bashful now," he nodded. "Want to get together tonight? I can come over, that is, if you are okay with it."

She met his gaze, "Come over tonight. I'll see you at 7:00."

Andy winked at her and walked to the door without saying a word. He had been right; she had come back for more.


	11. Chapter 11

Andy knocked on her door at promptly 7:00. While he waited, he checked his appearance, satisfied with what he saw. He didn't have time to run home after work, but he'd wanted to convey a more casual look, so he'd changed into jeans on the way out of the building. He'd kept his checkered shirt on, taking off his tie and unbuttoning it-three buttons unbuttoned, and now, standing here, he was satisfied with his look. It wasn't a date; it wasn't even a 'get to know you' type of thing, but it was a night with Sharon, a night he was excited to start.

"Hi," she opened the door to him and met his gaze. Her face gave off a neutral expression, and he noted she was, too, in more casual attire. He had to admit he had thoughts she might answer the door in some silky lingerie again, but he wasn't exactly disappointed to see her in a long black sweater with a long silver necklace over it, along with gray leggings. He noted she had on some sort of slipper thing, and he held back a chuckle when he saw that. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy look, and he swallowed because that look, the messy hair look, did something for him. It was an almost vulnerable look he had not seen on her, certainly not at work, and he blinked a couple times before he spoke.

"Hi," he gave her a soft smile. She had her hand on the doorknob and was now leaning her head against the door, tendrils of her long hair hanging in her face. He almost groaned at the look. It was hot. "I came prepared," he said as he held up a bag. She narrowed her gaze and shook her head at him as she gestured for him to come inside.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head again. Andy stepped into the condo, and as he did, he reached down and pecked her lips and patted her side. It almost stunned her, but she didn't move or say anything. Instead, she gestured for him to keep walking. He did and turned to her as she closed the door. The two were almost touching still; they were that close to each other in the small entryway. "Oh, what is that?" she grimaced.

"I brought food, grease, really," he smirked. "You have commented in the past how you like grease, and that it pretty much puts you in the mood, so I brought it. I hope it's okay. When we spoke in your office yesterday, I realized we didn't discuss details and all. I thought I'd bring food, even though I wasn't sure if you'd had dinner, wanted to get dinner, or whatever," he gestured with his hand. "I'm good for the evening, whatever you want to do." He reached toward her, his hand running down her shoulder, "You look really nice. I like this casual look on you, very sexy."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry about food, but you didn't need to bring that. I'm not hungry," she shook her head again and made a face. "Ahh, why don't you come in," she nodded to the living room.

He nodded and stepped into the condo further. He gestured to the living room, "Couch okay? Look, I don't know where you want to do this, but I can sit here or your bedroom. I realize last time here was a bit of a hurried mess. This is all on you, whatever you want."

"The couch is fine," she nodded as she followed him to the room. "Sorry again about the food, but I ate earlier. I was off today, and I ate while out running errands."

Andy put the bag on her desk as he walked by it and noted she had a few shopping bags stacked next to her desk. He turned slightly toward her and gestured, "Might the shopping bags be from your errands? It's okay to say you took off a day of work to go shopping."

"Yes, I did some shopping, among other things," she sighed. "Please, sit."

Andy sat on the couch, and Sharon sat at one end, turning to face him. This was more formal than he'd expected, but she was always odd with him. Andy didn't know what to expect from her. Tonight, she was quiet. He leaned in toward her, thinking he was going to kiss her. She pulled back and bit her lip, "I think you have the wrong idea. In fact, I know you do. I didn't call you over here, so we could sleep together."

"You didn't?" he jerked his head back to look at her. She now had her hands folded in her lap and was shaking her head at him. "Oh," he nodded, "this is about last night. You saw Charlotte and are jealous of that. Look, you and I don't have an exclusive arrangement. You told me as much. If you want to discuss that now, we can, but last night-" she stopped him from talking when she reached for his hand that he was pushing into the couch cushion. She didn't grasp it, but she put her hand on his to get his attention. That contact, her touching his hand, had him snapping his head toward her, and their eyes met.

"I'm going to make this very simple, very quick, and as painless as possible," she cleared her throat. "I'm pregnant."

"Wait, what? Pregnant?" he pulled his hand back and sat up straight as he looked back at her. "You're pregnant?" he gestured with his hand toward her.

She closed her eyes momentarily and nodded. He watched her take a deep breath before she opened them again. She met his gaze and nodded slowly, "I am pregnant. I'm with child. I'm having a baby. Take your pick. They all have the same outcome. I am going to be a mother-again," she said and then quickly wiped the corner of her eye. Andy sat there, almost shell-shocked. He could feel the blood rushing from his face. He watched as Sharon stood and walked to her desk where she grabbed a tissue from it and dabbed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'm overly emotional, and even though I've had time to process this, I'm stunned too. I didn't want to be like this when you came here tonight."

"You can't be pregnant," he piped up and shook his head. "We used protection. I had condoms when we were on the road. I even bought that new box!" he exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Maybe the test is wrong. Did you take a couple tests?"

"Trust me," she said in a very direct tone as she glared at him, her tissue now a wad in her hand. She dropped her hands to her sides, and gestured toward him, "I'm completely sure I'm pregnant." She used one of her hands to slowly round over the small bump around her stomach, one Andy hadn't noticed with her casual clothing. When she actually did that, his eyes got wide, and he gestured toward her.

"How pregnant are you? You're showing? How long have you known?" he almost yelled, the shock of everything hitting him.

She shook her head, "Yes, I'm completely sure I'm pregnant. I'm 14 weeks now. I didn't want to discuss this with you until I was certain there was anything to discuss! I have known for awhile, but I didn't need this reaction if something happened. As you are well aware, I'm old, advanced maternal age," she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "There are a number of things that could have and still could go wrong, but the bottom line is I am most definitely pregnant, right around 14 weeks. I wanted to wait to tell you until after the first trimester because so much can go wrong before that, still can even." She met his gaze and just stared at him, daring him to challenge it.

"I don't understand it!" he gestured. "Like I said, we used condoms! How can you be pregnant?"

"You and I are both aware of the logistics of how one gets pregnant," she huffed. "I've thought about this for weeks now, and I believe the question should be directed at you. Yes, we used condoms, but what about when you last came here? I had a couple drinks that night and know things were hurried. So?" she nodded to him. "I'm quite certain if you think about it, the correct statement might be that we used condoms MOST of the time. Even still, they aren't always a guarantee. I'm just that unlucky."

Andy's eyes grew wide again, "That night, you told me just to hurry up and get going. I thought you just wanted to finish. Everything happened so fast! Clothing was flying! We were kissing and had hands going everywhere. Besides that, you'd told me in Texas when we discussed this before we slept together that first night that you were sure that door was closing for you, that you were done with all that, that you were in menopause. We used condoms for the extra precaution."

"Hmm," she nodded. "Well, champ, it still happened. I can't say with 100% certainty it was right here on the couch where you are sitting, but I'd say with 99% certainty it was,considering the other times we did use protection. I'm trying not to get too angry about it because I was a willing party and really suggested all of this. I'm finally just accepting this is what it is."

"Am I even the father?" he asked, pointing to himself. "No offense, but yeah," he shrugged, "you came onto me and started all this in Texas. How many others are there? I'm asking because I barely know you outside of work and the few times we've slept together. I'm not hiding anything. I slept with Charlotte last night myself, so, are you sure it's mine?"

Sharon gave him a glare, one that made him almost want to crawl into his skin. She crossed her arms, and Andy groaned when she did so because he again could see that faint bump already forming over her stomach area. She followed his gaze, and she quickly uncrossed her arms and shook her head at him.

"You know, here, I'm prepared and trying to do the right thing. Of course, you are the father. You don't want to believe me? Fine," she said in a snappy tone as she turned to her desk and picked up a file folder on it. She turned back to him, walked to the couch and held it toward him. "You are most definitely the father, but you won't be for much longer, minutes in fact. Part of the reason I'm telling you now is that I have all the necessary paperwork there to terminate any rights. Look, I know this was not the plan, not at all. I'm a good Catholic and will keep this baby to raise on my own. I'm only thinking of you here," she wiggled the folder in front of him to take. He took it as he eyed her and kept his eyes on her. "This is what I'd like to think of as 'Termination Week.' I'm terminating contact with both of the-let's see-" she put her finger to her lip, "how do people nowadays like to call it-the baby daddy? I'm ending things with both of you. I finally got in touch with Jack and secured a location on him. My lawyer has been busy because I had Jack served with divorce papers yesterday, and today, I'm giving you these."

"Wait, what is it?" he interrupted.

"Open and find out," she encouraged. "This is like a get out of jail free type of deal. Sign it, and you have nothing to worry about ever again. I'm letting you terminate your rights. This was not a romantic arrangement. It happened. The pregnancy happened, and I now have to deal with that. I will. I'm taking responsibility for something I initiated and continued to come back for more and more. I'm letting you off the hook. I've listened to you talk about how you didn't want kids earlier in life. I get that. I'm not asking you to be a father now. I've already had one lousy father figure in my kids' lives, and I'm not asking you to do that anymore. This isn't me being mad. This is me saying you can walk away, no strings attached. You won't be in court with a custody arrangement because I won't be naming you as a father. You are free to go, off the hook."

Andy sat there, now holding the file and stared at her, totally shocked. His mouth was hanging open, and he shook his head before he spoke, "I can't believe this!"

"I know the feeling," she nodded. "Sign that, and you are free. It was what it was. I'll go on my way, and you can do the same. People can assume the baby is Jack's, and the divorce now will seem to fit too. Work will be work. No one, except Provenza, even knows we slept together. I trust this won't be an issue with him. Work will think I got a parting gift from my ex-husband. You can remain on the LAPD eligible bachelor list. It's fine. Look, as I said, I'm not mad. It happened. I wasn't looking for anything like this, but I'm also trying not to resent an innocent child. I understand you didn't want this either. Take the paperwork if you want to read it over. Sign it, and you can walk away. I won't speak of this with anyone, and that's it. Obviously, anything further with us won't be happening, but it seems as if you've found another woman anyway. I'm trying to be realistic and keep emotions out of this, at least as much as a pregnant woman can."

"You came over last night to talk about this?" he asked as he looked at her again. She now had her arms crossed again. He could tell it was her defensive stance, and again, he groaned at the sight of the slight bump forming across her stomach.

She hummed as she nodded, "Yes, I'd come to tell you all this. Actually, I'm glad you had a woman at your place because I didn't have the paperwork last night. I wasn't even thinking straight, and that was proven when I didn't even call on my way over to see if you were alone. My lawyer called today and said it, the paperwork, was ready. I was coming to tell you and let you know the paperwork was on its way. Oh, and inside that folder," she nodded to it, "is an ultrasound picture from today if you want further confirmation. I don't see why you'd need it because again, I'm not asking for anything. You are free to sign and go."

Andy fumbled for the paperwork and opened the folder. She was right; there was an ultrasound picture sitting on the top of the paperwork. He picked it up, and in the corner, he could see the date and "Raydor, S." next to it. He looked to the grainy picture and could see the very small outline of a baby. He didn't know much about these things, but he could see a baby."

"I'm totally in shock," he said as he held the paper and looked up at her. She nodded and pursed her lips. "I mean, you are pregnant? There's a baby growing in there?" Andy nodded to her stomach. "You want to raise the kid alone and are telling me I can walk away?"

"Yes, that's the plan," she told him. "I'm not doing deadbeat dad again. I've played that game. I wasn't looking for a sperm donor. It's not that I did this as some trick to you. I know you have played the messed up family game too, a different version, but this way, neither of us it tied to the other. I've been a single mom and can do it again. This time, for you, I'm not asking anything. You have said you have a terrible relationship with your kids, and now, you don't even have to worry about it. This won't be your child."

"But, it is," he gestured. "I mean, you're saying it is. I will believe you if you say it's mine with all this," he gestured with the paperwork. "I just can't believe it. I don't know who else has been sleeping with you."

"No one lately," she said firmly. "If I had any question about that, I would have let you know there was a question. There's not."

Andy stared at the packet of paperwork. He could see a lot of legal documents under the ultrasound picture, and it made it even more real when he saw his name typed on the documents under hers. He sighed and shook his head. He glanced up at her and noted she was still there, her arms crossed, and just letting him take it all in before more was said.

"You are really going to do this?" he asked, the question hanging for her interpretation.

"Hmm, I'm not really seeing many options here. Yes, I'm going to have this baby, that is if everything continues to go okay. That, alone, is a question. I'm old, at least for childbearing standards. I'm 47, and yes, I thought I was going into menopause. Joke is on me," she sighed and looked to the ceiling. "I've gone through all the emotions. I've told my kids. I'm going to do this."

"Oh, crap, your kids," his eyes got wide.

She nodded, "That was almost the reaction I got from them. I went to visit them and told them. They have this idea I'm ready for a nursing home and think I can't do this. I can. It will be an adjustment, but I've done it before. My kids are grown, and honestly, they can't change this. Things are a bit strained, but we will be fine. The kids will deal with it just as I am. This time, I'm going to make changes. I'm still figuring out all that. Sign the papers, and you can be back at the bar finding women. I realize how ridiculous this sounds, all of this, a woman left dealing with the responsibility of an unplanned pregnancy and a guy left to continue to sleep around, but as I said, I know what I initiated with you. It is what it is."

"I'm going to have to think about all this. I really can't believe it. I'm as shocked you are willing to do this alone as much as I am that you are even pregnant. I just, I just," he sighed. "I suppose if I thought this was even a remote possibility, I would have taken that precaution that last time. I knew you wanted it as much as I did, here, that night on New Year's. I know I'm 50 and just thought the condoms before were a precaution from anything, you know."

"What's done is done," she shook her head. "Look, I'm exhausted. I've been gone all day. These appointments are a nuisance. I have them every two weeks because of my age and all. Then, yes," she rolled her eyes, "I had to go shopping, but it's not like I'm living the high life here. Nothing fits. I only have a few dresses that hide this right now. My pants don't fit. I had to buy clothing. I spent the last couple days at the doctor, with my lawyer, and at the stores. This baby already is changing everything."

Andy stood up as she moved to the door. He watched her walk toward it, and he collected the paperwork and looked around the room.

"If you don't mind, please take the food," she grimaced. "The smell is making me nauseous. It never bothered me before, but this time, I can't stand it."

"Oh, sure," he sighed. "I'm sorry."

She bit her lip, "I won't ask if that is a blanket statement for the pregnancy or just for the food."

"For everything," he blurted out. "I know neither of us wanted an outcome like this."

"No," she pursed her lips, "leave it to me to be carefree and end up pregnant. I should have known. I've tried to do the right thing most of my life, and when I try to live a little," she dropped her head.

He took a step toward her, and she looked up at him. He had the food in one hand and the paperwork in the other. Sharon now had her hand on her hip, and he could see the outline of the baby again.

"I have been too stunned, but are you okay? I mean, is your health okay? Look, I know we aren't a couple, and this wasn't a baby created in love or anything, but I can at least ask you that, right?"

"I'm fine," she said, almost through gritted teeth. "My blood pressure is high, but I also told my doctor I had a lot of stress right now. I'm hoping that will stabilize. Otherwise, I'm okay. It helps I'm in shape for work."

"Do you need anything?" he asked. He fished out his wallet as he spoke. He opened it, while she watched, and he pulled out a wad of bills. "Look, at least take that. I know you said you had to buy clothing today."

"I'm fine. I can handle things," she held up one hand in almost surrender, but she didn't take the money. "I don't need it. I'm not asking for anything, and the baby won't be yours. You don't owe me anything."

He frowned at that, and he glanced to the table. She was now at the door, her hand on the knob, and she had resumed her stance with her other hand on her hip, the bump visible again. He sighed, "I'm here if you need any help."

"Just sign the papers, please. You can drop them by my office. That's all I need from you," she stated. "I will ask one question because I'm trying to figure out if I'm just getting older, it's a third pregnancy, or what."

"What's that?" he said as he stood there staring at her.

"Your kids-were they big babies? I've never shown this early. With Emily, I was at 20 weeks. Ricky, it was 17. I don't know if this is just earlier because I've had two other children or something else. Both my kids were just over six pounds and late. So, I've had small babies. I'm trying to figure out what I'm in for this time."

He grimaced, "Both my kids have been over nine pounds," he frowned. "My wife was late with both of them, but they were huge."

She bit her lip and nodded, "I was afraid of that. Because of my age, they believe I'll have to deliver a little early-blood pressure and all. I'm just showing so much more, and I had a feeling you had big children. Great," she let out a long breath.

"I'm sorry," he admitted again. "I'll go over the paperwork."

She nodded and gestured to the hallway, "I'm going to get some sleep. The exhaustion has been better since I'm now over three months along, but I'm still really tired all the time. That food is still making me sick to my stomach."

"Right," he nodded. He looked to the table and threw the money onto it, almost like he'd paid her for something. He nodded to her again, "Just take it. No matter what happens, I can at least offer you that money there. I'll get going. I don't know what else to say."

"Just say you'll sign the paperwork, and we can go our separate ways. I won't bother you or ask anything of you ever again." She closed the door, and he heard her lock it.

Andy stood in the hallway, the door to her condo now closed. He looked to the file in his hand and slumped against the wall. He'd come over, thinking they would have a night neither would ever forget. That had been the case, but instead of it being a magical night, it had turned into a nightmare.


	12. Chapter 12

Sharon welcomed the silence. It was the first time in weeks she'd felt some relief. Her conversation had gone better than she'd hoped. He'd at least taken the paperwork and left. They hadn't gotten into a screaming match. He hadn't accused her of trying to trap him, and she felt like in time, he would sign the papers. At least, she hoped he would.

After she closed, the door, Sharon walked back to her desk and sat down at it. She just sat and let her mind wander in the silence. The hard part was over. Ironic, the hard part, in her opinion, was telling Andy about the pregnancy. She had the rest of her life now with another child, and this, she saw as being the hard part.

Sharon took a deep breath, and as she let it out, she cracked. The tears started to flow, and she started to cry. Her cry turned to an almost uncontrollable sob quickly. She'd been holding this in for weeks, and while she hadn't planned to cry, it was needed. She was just glad she'd held it together while he'd been at the condo. She let herself cry. Her life was now forever changing. Yes, she'd love the baby. She already did, even if this was not in her plans.

The last few months had been just so out of character for her, and she was now hitting her rock bottom, or she had. After years and years of marriage to Jack, she'd finally broken. She'd had enough of his behavior. He'd called her one night a few months ago, drunk, of course, and he'd started telling her about all the women he'd been sleeping with, and the list had been long, extremely long. Sharon had thought about hanging up the phone and not listening to his rant, but in the end, she'd listened. She'd listened to every single word as he described the women and where and when he'd seen the women. He was in one of his sappy moods, one where he felt the need to confess his love for her and apologize for all he'd done. In that, he'd decided to confess each woman, and there had been more than she could count. Some he named, and others, he admitted to only knowing them by description. Some had been one-night stands, and others, he'd dated for weeks or months. It sickened her the first one he told her about had been a woman while on their honeymoon. That had stung. She remembered him leaving their hotel for a couple hours, and when he'd returned, he had told her he'd gone for a run-back when he was a runner. Instead, he'd gone to the bar, in his running gear, and he'd instantly found a woman. He admitted the two had disappeared to her room, and then he'd come back to Sharon. All of that, she just couldn't take it, and when Jack finally hung up the phone that night, Sharon made a decision. She was going to live her life, more of a carefree life. And, she had, but now, it had come back to haunt her. Sharon, the woman who had tried to raise her kids, work, and just do the right thing, was now paying for her carelessness. It just didn't seem fair, but her growing baby couldn't be blamed for her mistakes.

She dabbed her eyes with the tissue, sure her makeup was running everywhere now. She didn't care, though, not tonight. She was alone, and really, she would be alone from now on, and she was okay with that. It was almost a welcome relief after years married to Jack. Sharon just needed Andy to sign the papers, and she would be free and clear of the men who had help create her children. Jack had the papers, and she really had a feeling he'd sign the papers. After his infidelity admission, she'd written him a letter, detailing a lot of what he had told her, basically the proof that he'd called. She'd filed that away, ready to be attached to the divorce paperwork. It had been sent off this week to him, and she really felt he'd sign and let her go. Her lawyer, her friend, Gavin, was prepared to fight, and one way or another, she was going to have this baby and raise it as a single mother, not attached to any man. She needed to do it. She wanted to be alone.

Alone. Sharon sighed as she ran her hand over her small rounded belly area. This baby was already making himself or herself known and had only been in Sharon's life now a few months. She was 14 weeks along, just about three and a half months into this. She had replayed the events of New Year's Eve in her mind and just had a gut feeling that is when this had all happened, not that it couldn't have happened one of the other nights when they'd been on the road. The two had been pretty careful, but obviously not careful enough. It didn't matter now. The bottom line was she'd started the whole thing with Andy, and while he'd been willing, she'd started it, and they'd created a baby. The baby had come as a surprise to her, and really, she hadn't suspected it for a few weeks. It wasn't until she fell asleep at her desk the first week of February she really started to analyze things. She'd spent the end of January feeling under the weather, but she'd figured with it being winter, she was probably just sick. Different ailments had been circulating her department, and she figured the tiredness and occasional nausea was just from that. However, when she fell asleep at her desk in the middle of the afternoon, she decided to see her doctor. Still, then, it didn't occur to her to see if she was pregnant; she still suspected she was going through menopause and just off in her overall health because of that. She booked an appointment, and that was still two days away. It wasn't until the morning of the appointment, she woke up, slightly sick to her stomach, and it dawned on her she could be pregnant. She threw up that morning, really, she figured from nerves and not morning sickness. She'd not been that sick, just nauseous some, which was also new. She hadn't experienced that with Emily or Ricky. That morning, the day of her appointment, she sat outside a drug store and just couldn't go inside. Yes, she knew she should buy a pregnancy test and face the music, but she couldn't do it. Instead, she went to her appointment with her suspicions, and she let the doctor's office confirm it. She was pregnant.

Sharon could still hear that statement in her head, "Sharon, the test confirmed you are pregnant. Congratulations." Congratulations. Wow, if only she could be excited about this. Actually, she was starting to get excited about this new baby, but it was quite the adjustment. She hadn't been that day, now almost seven weeks ago. That day, her doctor had discussed getting her in with her OB right away, and the next week, she found herself staring at an ultrasound machine and the first images of her baby. Her baby. Yes, she was set on doing this alone. Andy had made it clear he didn't want children the first time around, had been a lousy father, and he still had a terrible relationship with his kids. She didn't want that now. She didn't want to share her precious baby with a man she barely knew and one who didn't want children. Yes, she was fine with this. She'd raise her baby alone.

Recently, she'd started to think about that, being alone, these last couple of weeks. It had taken a few weeks for the shock to wear off as she realized that indeed, she was carrying a baby. The little peanut, as she liked to think of the baby, started to grow and make himself or herself visible before she even hit the three-month mark. Sharon remembered stomping her feet and throwing a small fit as she tried to squeeze into pants. Even her bras didn't fit, and that really made her mad. She fought it for a few days, but then she started to just trash her closet. She still hadn't done anything about that. Her closet was a mess, and she had a huge pile on the floor of everything that didn't fit, and sadly, as the peanut continued to grow, so would that pile. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do with all those clothing because she had a sinking feeling the things may never fit again. This was her third baby, and she was 47. Her body wouldn't bounce back; she knew it. Sure, she might, MIGHT, lose the baby weight, but she knew that even with her other two, even without the weight, her body shape had changed. She was almost depressed to think that some, if not many or all, of the clothing currently occupying her closet floor might not fit her ever again. It was hard to see the light, or see that one-day things would fit, when she was months from that being any sort of reality.

So, as everything was starting to hit her-raising the baby alone, being alone, and then, her clothing not fitting her anymore-she decided to get out of town. The kids needed to be told, and she didn't want to do that over the phone. She hadn't lied to Andy when he'd come looking for her on Valentine's Day. She wasn't interested that night, mostly because she was so utterly exhausted due to the peanut growing inside, that the last thing she wanted to do was fool around with Andy. She knew from past pregnancies there was a time and place for that, even during pregnancy, and right now, she wasn't feeling it. She didn't want anyone touching her body. The peanut had already invaded and taken it over. Besides that, it was Andy, and after what had happened, she was done with him. She would have a lifetime reminder of Andy.

The kids had been shocked. Both had automatically assumed Jack had wormed his way into her life, and when she'd come clean with them that the baby's father was NOT Jack, they had been even more stunned. She wasn't thrilled with explaining to them the circumstances of the baby's conception, but she told them it had been just a fling and would be breaking off any legal obligations with the baby's father. She hadn't named him to the kids, even though both had begged her for that information. It wasn't necessary because ultimately, Andy would not be the baby's father. She'd have her paperwork, and the baby would be hers and hers alone.

Alone. Sharon sighed as she ran her hand over the baby again. The house was quiet. She glanced at the clock and saw it was now after 1:00 in the morning. She'd been sitting here, her mind wandering for hours now. She shifted and realized how uncomfortable she was. She really needed to get to bed. She was really trying to get enough rest for the baby. She loved this baby, and what she was doing, asking Andy to terminate his rights, was for the good of the baby. She knew it was something she had to do.

Instead of getting up to go to bed, Sharon leaned back in her chair and folded her hands over the small mound on her stomach. Soon, in a few weeks, she would be able to feel the baby kick. She smiled at that, the thought that the little peanut was growing more and more each day, getting strong and stronger. She'd started tracking baby websites again, reading about the developmental milestones each week. She didn't plan on a baby at this stage of her life, but it was exciting while scary. She had testing the next few weeks regarding the baby, and some of that was scary too. She'd opted out of the amnio and a couple of other tests that were offered to her in the weeks to come. The amnio, in particular, was not without risk, even though a slight one, and she just didn't want to risk anything right now. She would love this baby no matter what. She did already. Yes, she was going to take precautions and was already seeing her doctor every two weeks, mostly to check her blood pressure, but she didn't want anything like large needles poking her that could harm the baby. So far, things were okay. She would have another big ultrasound somewhere between 18 and 20 weeks, depending on when it could be scheduled. Then, she was still debating on finding out the sex of the baby. While she wanted to know, she also liked the idea of the surprise. That was still not decided. For now, something she did need to decide was work. One of the things she needed to do, sooner than later, was figure out her future. She and the baby would be a team. Sharon wanted to give her all to this baby and felt like her job at the LAPD would not allow her that. She'd raised two kids while working at the LAPD. That was a different time, and she had been younger. Now, she oversaw an entire division, and that carried a tremendous amount of responsibility. It would continue to require long hours, odd hours, and weekends. It would be hard for her to make time for the baby. Could she do it? Absolutely. She could if she had to do that, BUT she didn't want that. At this point in her life, she didn't want to continue running a division, being a police officer, when she had an infant at home relying on her for everything. It was time for a drastic change, one she'd even thought about before the baby was conceived, and she believed the time was coming. She wanted to retire. She was coming to grips that there was more to life than her demanding job at the LAPD. She wanted to be happy, and even in her job, she wasn't always happy. She loved her job, but she didn't deal with the best of people. She hated that and was about ready to find something else to do. She and the baby would have a very different lifestyle compared to when she had raised Emily and Ricky. It was what she wanted.

Retire. She sighed as she thought about it and rubbed her hand over that small mound. Retiring wasn't a new thought; she'd even mentioned it to Andy in their cross-country drive. That was before the peanut too, and since she'd found out about her pregnancy, she'd started to think about her future. Retirement was starting to sound good. Now that she'd told Andy about the baby, she could really focus on what she wanted to do with her future. Retirement. The baby was coming sometime around September, all dependent on her health. She'd have maternity leave, and after that, she wanted to have a plan in place. Sharon wasn't sure she even wanted to return to the LAPD after having the baby, and if that was the case, she needed a plan, and she needed one now. She reached to her file drawer and opened it where she pulled out her last pay statement. She looked at the box with her leave, and she nodded to herself, pleased that she had always been one to save leave. She rarely used any, and when she did, it was usually to visit one or both kids. Now, she had a lot of time to use, and that was going to come in handy with this pregnancy. She needed to take more time away to rest and relax. Her baby's health could be at stake if she didn't; her doctor had told her that much. She nodded again at the days of leave she had. She was in good shape there. Her eyes drifted to her pay. She was also in good shape there. She'd have a good retirement, and with that, she could find another job, possibly something more relaxing. Sharon put the paper away again and looked around the condo, her home. She didn't know what she planned to do about the condo yet. Yes, she and the baby could be comfortable here. She just wasn't sure she wanted to stay in Los Angeles and in the condo. Her eyes darted around the room and landed on her couch, the very couch where she believed the peanut had been conceived. Yes, she wasn't sure she wanted that thought in her mind all the time as well. Perhaps, the condo would go too, along with Jack, Andy, and the LAPD. One thing was certain-things were changing.

Sharon stood and stretched, now irritated with herself she had stayed up so long. She sighed, thinking over her night and hoping things were going to start to improve for her. Right now, she was hungry, and she had found herself craving ice cream again as she had with Ricky's pregnancy. She had not with Emily, and that had her wondering if she was having a boy. Yes, she'd have a bowl-a big bowl-of ice cream. Her pants didn't fit, but she'd bought new ones earlier in the day. She'd feed the peanut and get some sleep, hopeful that tomorrow would bring a packet of signed papers.


	13. Chapter 13

Andy was a big believer in the phrase, "I have one last nerve, and you are getting on it." That was what he had been thinking all morning. It had been a long morning, one in which he was ready to scream at the chief. He couldn't take her today, her nasal sound coupled with that accent. He just couldn't take it. It didn't help that she'd been late, had been snapping at everyone, and the team had discovered she'd run out of Hershey bars. Mike had even run down two floors to find a vending machine that had her precious candy bars, but still, she wasn't recovering, or at least, she was still irritating Andy. He was trying to lay low and just get his work done so he could go home, but he was about to lose it. It didn't help that he kept glancing at the manila folder that was tucked under a stack of paperwork, the folder in a spot he'd placed it, out of prying eyes, but intended for his eyes only. That folder, with its few pieces of paper, carried a lot of weight.

"Hey, Lieutenant, what's got you so irritated today?" Julio asked, pulling Andy's attention from his desk. He looked up and found the rest of the team staring at him.

"You're looking a little rough today, Lieutenant," Gabriel grinned. "Did you have that good of a time last night?"

"Ahh, that's what it is," Julio nodded. "I didn't know he had a date or really a sleepover last night," he chuckled. Gabriel, Buzz, and Mike chuckled too. Provenza ignored everyone and continued to work his crossword puzzle. He'd noticed Andy's mood too, but he had decided to let him talk when he was ready. Provenza didn't know what was wrong, but had a feeling it did have to do with Andy and a woman.

"What's so funny?" Brenda asked as she walked back into the room. She was carrying a stack of paperwork and had a package of cookies sitting on top of it. She'd gone down the hall minutes earlier, and now she was returning to her office.

"Ahh, we're just trying to cheer up the lieutenant, but we don't know what's bothering him," Julio admitted.

"Oh, Andy," Brenda sighed, "do you need a meetin' or something? If something is bothering you, let the team help. I know what might help, filing these to get your mind off it," she nudged the paperwork at him and gave him a small smile.

"I'm fine, everyone," Andy raised a hand. "Chief, Buzz usually files that."

"Oh, I know, but I thought if you were stuck on something, mindless work might help," she shrugged.

"Hey!" Buzz interjected. "Mindless? Thanks, Chief."

"Oh," she waved a hand, "you know what I mean."

"Chief, we were just trying to find out what lovely lady the lieutenant took home last night. He almost skipped out of work last night, and bets are on that he had a hot date, took the lady home, and now, we're thinking she was a clinger or something."

"Andy!" Brenda grimaced. "Please tell me you aren't still having one-night stands! You need to raise your standards. You are certainly capable of finding a nice woman."

"Oh, Chief," Provenza said, still glancing at his crossword while he spoke, "you have no idea. Flynn loves to play the field, don't you?"

"Shut up, Provenza," Andy hissed. "Everyone, I'm fine!"

Brenda jumped slightly when Andy started to yell. She frowned and looked to the team. Gabriel jumped into the conversation again, "Chief, maybe the lieutenant needs some of your cookies."

"I don't need any cookies!" Andy yelled and started to wave his hands. "I'm fine. I didn't sleep with anyone last night, not for lack of trying. I'm perfectly fine, and I just want to get through this crappy day!"

All eyes were on Andy after his outburst. Brenda stood there, now speechless, and it was Provenza who sighed, threw his crossword on the desk and stood, "Flynn," he gestured to the hallway. "We're going for a walk. Sounds like we just got to the root of the problem. Your date didn't want to go home with you, and now, we're paying the price."

Andy gave him a scowl and shook his head. Before he spoke again, Provenza gestured to him and pointed to the door, "Let's go, Flynn." He looked back at the team, "If everyone has this much time to stare at us, I suspect all of you can file away the chief's paperwork before I return. Chief, I'll deal with Flynn."

"Ahh, thank you, Lieutenant," she nodded, still stunned that their joking had made Andy snap. "Everyone, I'll be in my office with my cookies," she nodded and put the paperwork on Gabriel's desk as she turned to her office. Andy sighed, stood, and started to walk toward the door, with all eyes on him.

"I'm fine, guys, really," he grumbled. Provenza continued to point to the door. Andy nodded and dropped his head as the two walked toward the elevator.

"What's gotten into you today, Flynn? You've been grumpy and irritable since you arrived," he told Andy.

"I'm fine, Provenza," Andy sighed and shook his head as the elevator doors opened. Provenza pointed to the elevator, and both men got onto it, joining five other officers. They didn't speak as the elevator moved down to the ground floor. Once the two got off in the lobby, Provenza pointed outside, and after maneuvering through the doorways, the men found themselves on the street level.

Provenza shrugged at him, "Walking or sitting?" Andy dropped his head and just shook it. "Fine, we're sitting because I don't want to go for a walk, especially one where I have to hear about your bust of a night." The two men started toward a bench when Provenza turned back to Andy, his eyes wide, "Is this about Raydor? Did you two finally have a falling out about your arrangement? You've been trying to sleep with her again for weeks. Did that blow up in your face? What about that other one, Charlotte? Did she get clingy? Did she already flip the switch and tell you that you are the love of her life?"

"No! Stop talking!" Andy yelled. Provenza sat down, and Andy started to pace and gesture with his hands. "You have no idea the mess I'm in right now."

Provenza sighed, and he shook his head. "I warned you. Who's the problem?"

"Sharon! Sharon's pregnant! Raydor's pregnant," he exclaimed, careful to note no one was near them.

Provenza's eyes widened, and his face turned red. Andy saw him grip the bench, the new almost taking his breath away. He took a moment and then started to gesture too, "Pregnant? Raydor? She's still able to get pregnant? Is it your kid? You have to be kidding me," he started to now chuckle.

"Yeah, she's pregnant! She says it's mine. I asked the same," he stopped pacing and stood there, his hands on his waist as he stared at Provenza.

Provenza looked at him and then pointed to him, "It's not yours. It can't be yours. Flynn, didn't you have that taken care of years ago when I did? We talked about that."

Andy gave him a confused look, and as he thought, he rolled his eyes, "No! I didn't get a vasectomy. I didn't see the point. I was divorced. You weren't. You were on, what, Mrs. Provenza Number Three at the time? I didn't want to take off work to get that done, so I didn't. I didn't see a point."

"I'm guessing you are regretting that decision, Flynn," Provenza frowned at him. "How do you know it's even yours? I mean, come on, but she came onto you, at least that's what you told me. How many men does she have on the side?"

"I asked her all that. She said it's mine, and that I've been the only guy for awhile. I think she's telling the truth," he said as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Isn't she a little old for this to be happening? Maybe the test is wrong. Did you ask her to take another test? Just wait until she sees a doctor. I'm sure this is a misunderstanding," Provenza said, trying to encourage him.

"Louie, she's showing!" Andy exclaimed. "She's like with child, pregnant, knocked up, call it what you like but you can see the baby bump! This isn't a recent find, at least for her. She said she's like 14 weeks."

"14 weeks! That's over three months!" Provenza yelled. To anyone watching from afar, it would appear the two men hated each other and were in a screaming contest. Instead, Provenza was getting as fired up as Andy.

"I'm aware, stupid!" Andy yelled. "Yeah, I can do math. I did the numbers. 14 weeks. That would fit with the week or so we were together."

"How were you so stupid you didn't use something? Flynn, come on! You didn't get a vasectomy, so hello, please tell me you've been using something for all these women? Raydor isn't the first. How were you that stupid?"

"I did use condoms! I do!" he yelled.

"And?" Provenza asked. "Just how many times are we talking? I really wonder if she's just shaking you down, Flynn. You don't know anything about her, aside from the fact she's our greatest nightmare at work."

"Look, it was a lot, like a few times a night for a few nights," he told him. "We used protection most of the time. There's a time or two," he paused to think and then nodded, "we maybe didn't. She brought up one time we didn't. Things just happened so fast that time. I didn't tell her that another time I think the condom broke."

"You think?" Provenza asked. "She didn't comment then?"

Andy rolled his eyes, "At this point, it's kind of a stupid point to argue. She said she was done having kids. The condoms were just added protection. Obviously, we were both stupid."

Provenza paced and then turned to point at Andy, "You are a moron, a total idiot. I told you this would backfire on you. You can't even sleep with women without creating more problems. What does she want now, a complete baby daddy package?"

Andy frowned, "Actually, that's the surprising part. She doesn't want anything. She told me about the baby and then handed me a complete set of legal documents. She wants me to sign away any rights to the kid, said all this happened, and she wants to cut ties and just go our own ways. That's honestly what told me she was serious when she said I was the father. She wants nothing, no money, nothing. She wants my signature; that's it."

Provenza eyed him, "Something still smells. Wait," he snapped his finger, "was she using you as some sperm donor? I've heard of women who pay thousands in clinics for that, just to have a kid. Is this her mid-life crisis? Did she get herself knocked up with your kid just to have a kid? I knew she was up to something! Flynn, that's it. I knew she would never want to sleep with you like she did. All of that on the trip was so revolting. I wanted to throw up each night you came in from her room. You even smelled like her those nights. That must be it, Flynn! She was using you, got what she wanted, and now she wants you to walk away. Instead of paying thousands in a clinic, she used you."

"No!" Andy threw up his hands. "I really don't think that is the case. She's not happy about this. I mean, she's dealing with it, but she made it clear a kid wasn't in her plans. It's like almost dangerous for her to have a kid, but oh, trust me, she is. That baby is showing more and more each day from the looks of it. Look, she just wants to cut ties. She said she was divorcing her husband and wanted no men left in her life."

"Well, there you go," Provenza opened his eyes wide in gesture. "Flynn, hello, she's letting you walk away! This is good news if what you are telling me is true. You don't want a kid, and she's saying she doesn't want you. You always said Sandra pressured you into the kids before you were ready and have since been a lousy father. The kids aren't interested in a relationship, and here's a chance for you to walk away, free and clear. If all of this is true, why are you so irritated? I mean, I love my kids, but I did want them, even the ones with my crazy ex-wives," he rolled his eyes. "You never wanted kids, and now, you are in luck because the woman has told you to walk away. Does she want money or something?"

"No, nothing," he shook his head. "I have the paperwork at my desk. I've read through it more times than I can count. I couldn't sleep last night. It's simple; she just wants to walk away from me. I asked her about money, and she said she wants nothing."

"Flynn, I can't tell you what to do, but knowing you, this isn't anything you want. I'd sign that paperwork so fast, all before she changes her mind. If you sign, she can't come after you later for money and anything else. Let her keep the kid. No harm to you. You can walk away, right into the arms of, what's her name-Charlotte? Please, Flynn, though, get a vasectomy or do something because you can't walk around with that as a problem. Apparently, it is," he grumbled.

Andy sighed loudly and threw an irritated look at Provenza, "I just feel, I don't know," he sighed again. "I made the kid, and I'm supposed to walk away?"

"It's like the saying, something about if you can't do the time, don't do the crime, Flynn, except in this case, you did the deed, but she's letting you walk. It's a gift, Flynn, one you won't get from many. Consider your baby mamma a good one, which is something I never thought I'd say about Radyor," he chuckled. "Baby mama," he laughed again. "I can't believe Raydor is pregnant. I'm having trouble even seeing you with her. Now, that makes me want to vomit."

"I guess I'm not too worried about not raising the kid," he explained. "I feel bad that she's left with the financial responsibility alone. It's not like I want to pay child support each month, but even when she told me last night, she'd had to buy new clothes and all. Kids are expensive."

"Wait, so she told you last night? That's why you ran out of here!" Provenza's eyes widened. "You thought you were going to spend another night with Raydor!"

"Yeah, I did," he said through gritted teeth. "I was so in the mood. I had everything set, and when she opened the door, it took everything in me not to start right there like we did one night. Provenza, one night, my clothes were in the hall! That's how fast we got going. I think that was probably the night too," he sighed. "It was that night or the other, but again, it really doesn't matter."

"I don't know what you ever saw in her," Provenza frowned.

"I didn't! I mean, she came onto me. She wanted it, and you know I am always in the mood. It worked, that is, until it didn't," he groaned.

"Until you knocked up the captain, Flynn. You knocked up the captain of the most annoying division here, FID. Flynn, I swear you are the biggest idiot," he ranted again.

"I'm realizing this all wasn't a good idea!" Andy yelled. "Look, just keep this under wraps. I don't want anyone knowing."

He raised an eyebrow at Andy, "Flynn, it's going to be pretty obvious Raydor is pregnant. You know that can't be hidden. It will be the talk of the building because it's Raydor, she's old, and everyone will want to know about it."

"Well aware," Andy raised his hands in defense. "She's showing already, at least if you are looking. Plus, she asked me last night about my kids, about if they were big. My kids were huge babies, and she was saying she is showing a lot earlier. This could be a big one too."

"Idiot," Provenza sighed. "So, how are you going to keep this under wraps?"

Andy shrugged, "She's divorcing her husband. You are the only one who knows about us, and she said she's just going to let the rumor mill go with the idea the husband left her with a 'parting gift' as she said."

"You're okay with that?" Provenza asked. "Flynn, this is like the perfect outcome. She doesn't want anything from you, and she's going to let the deadbeat husband take the heat on the kid."

Andy finally stopped pacing and sat. He put his head in his hands, and he sighed. He glanced up at Provenza who was staring at him, "Yeah, I think I'm okay with all of it. I mean, I don't feel right about the money, but it's not my kid, or at least it doesn't feel like my kid. We weren't in love or anything. This all came from just the two of us being hot and heavy, nothing else. She wants the kid to herself, fine. I don't care. Yeah, I've been a crappy father and don't want another round of that. I'm in AA and doing okay with my life. I don't need more failure front and center with a kid. I don't love her; I don't even really like her, at least at work. She's not a horrible person, which is evident she's letting me walk away. That kid is hers for the rest of her life. I guess I'm okay with it all. We won't be fighting over visitation, what school the kid needs to attend, and what rules the kid needs to follow. I just needed to talk it through. I really don't feel right about not helping, at least right now."

Provenza listened, and he nodded. He sat down too, next to Andy, and then he gestured with his hand, "Okay, that is understandable. You said she doesn't want anything, and I think you are more than okay to walk away with that understanding. If you are so stuck on doing something, tell her that. Maybe you can give her some money."

Andy shook his head, "She's too independent to just let me help, and I think she'll think I want to be in the baby's life. I don't. I guess I just want to give her some cash now. I did last night. I threw everything I had on her table as I left."

Provenza eyed him, "What, like you paid for services?" he chuckled.

Andy's eyes grew wide, "No, oh, crap, that's what it looks like, isn't it? It looks like I paid her to sleep with me, just throwing money on the table. No," he sighed. "I just wanted to help. She had to buy all new clothing, and when the baby comes, she'll need all that junk for the kid."

"Look, if you are stuck on this, talk to her. Sounds like you are going to have to talk to her anyway, at least about signing that paperwork. I know," he nodded and continued, "maybe you tell her you won't sign unless she takes whatever money you plan to give her. It's a contract. Negotiate it. She'll think you aren't going to sign and will then just be glad it's as simple as money. Make it a legal transaction."

Andy listened and nodded, "Yeah, I think that's best."

"How are you going to handle seeing your kid around here?" Provenza asked.

Andy shrugged, "I don't know yet. I guess, I don't see it as my kid. Yeah, I made the kid, but I won't know the kid. I'm hoping that it's not an issue. I mean, I don't hate Sharon, so I can ask her how things are going, right? It's not like I'm taking the kid out for ice cream or reading bedtime stories. I can ask, just like last night, I was worried about her health. It's not exactly a walk in the park for her."

"So, you really would be okay if a little Flynn Junior is walking around the building? You'd be okay running into her with a baby boy or whatever in the building?"

Andy was quiet for a moment and then nodded, "Yeah, I would. I'm ready to sign, Provenza. I just want to live my life. I'm going to see if we can meet to talk about the money because I don't feel right about that, and I'll sign when she lets me give her some money."

Provenza eyed him, "This whole thing has disaster written all over it, starting with the moment you took off your first piece of clothing back in her dingy motel room in Texas. You had better make sure you won't be name as the baby daddy and won't become the talk of the building."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know. Look, just let me deal with it. I appreciate you listening, and I know you will keep your mouth closed. I'll try to arrange a meeting with her to go over all this."

"What are you going to tell the chief about your outburst?" Provenza stood and started to walk toward the building. Andy had been sitting there, dazed, and when he looked up and saw Provenza walking, he moved quickly to walk next to him.

"Just tell Chief I had a bad night. I did," he nodded to himself. "I found out I'd created a kid. That wasn't in the cards at all for the night. I'll apologize when I get back into the office," he explained. Provenza just nodded as the two walked toward the building. The walked inside and stood waiting for the elevator. Provenza just shook his head at Andy.

"You really are an idiot. All of this could have been prevented by you, first by getting a vasectomy and second, by not sleeping with Raydor MULTIPLE times even," he glared at Andy.

"Well aware, Provenza," Andy sighed. "She didn't blame me completely. Honestly, it was refreshing to see she was taking her part in it too. She's not an awful person. She might be awful here, but she's at least not trying to screw me over with the kid."

Provenza groaned and shook his head as the two men stepped onto the elevator. They were silent again as the elevator was full. When the got off on their floor, Provenza gestured to Andy, "You need to do something for the chief. Get her some chips out of the vending machine or something."

"Fine, fine," Andy waved. The men continued down the hall, and as they were turning the corner, they almost ran into Sharon who was coming from their division.

"Captain," Provenza's eyes widened, and he instantly dropped his gaze to her stomach. He turned to Andy, wide-eyed, after noting he could see the visible issue.

"Gentlemen," she cleared her throat and glanced between the men, her eyes never making direct eye contact with either. Andy stood there, staring at her. "I need to get back to my office. Lieutenant Provenza, Lieutenant Tao and Detective Sanchez are needed in a case matter, an old one, tomorrow in court. I was dropping off paperwork for them."

"Oh, ahh, fine," he nodded, now staring back at Sharon.

"I'll be going," she moved around them. "Lieutenant Flynn," she nodded at him as she stepped around them.

"Captain," he called to her. She paused and turned, her mouth in an almost twitch. She eyed him but did not speak. "I need to make an appointment to discuss that paperwork you have for me."

She gave a single nod, "Email me about that, please." Andy's eyes lowered to her stomach too, where she was holding a stack of files against herself. It appeared she didn't notice that by doing that, she had given a clear outline of her baby bump. She could feel Andy's eyes on her and quickly shifted the paperwork to cover her bump.

"Will do," he said crisply. "I know you want that paperwork as soon as possible."

"I do. Thank you," she said in her most professional tone. She turned and started to walk away, the men left to stare at her retreating form. They stood there until she was around the corner.

Provenza smacked the back of Andy's head, "You can see it, Flynn!"

Andy grimaced and ran his hand over the spot where he'd been hit, "I know! I told you that! It's really visible when she puts anything near her stomach. She is wearing pants, so those must be maternity pants. She said nothing was fitting and had gone shopping. Provenza, she's got a kid in there."

"One you put there, you idiot, because you couldn't keep your pants on during a work trip," he grumbled. "Just take care of it. She has given you an out, and if you are so stuck on paying her, deal with this arrangement and move on. More power to you, Flynn," he sighed. "I'm surprised you are going to walk away."

"Yeah, honestly, though, what choice do I have? We're not together, and I don't want a kid. Walking away seems like a win for everyone," Andy admitted.

"Then, I say you deal with her, walk away, and never look back," Provenza gave him a nod and turned to open the door to their office. Andy stood there until Provenza swatted at him again, and the two men returned to their day.


	14. Chapter 14

He drummed his fingers on the desk and let out a long sigh. He just wanted to end this and move on; it was time. He checked his watch. Clearly, this felt like a stall technique, and he was getting irritated. He almost felt like he'd been dumped in the room like a suspect was dumped in interrogation, dumped to sit and "sweat it out" so to speak. He thought about walking out; he didn't need to stay. He wasn't the one requesting the meeting, but he certainly seemed to hold the cards right now, or well, he did to some extent. His head turned when he heard the door opening.

"Lieutenant Flynn, thanks for waiting," he looked into the eyes of Gavin, Sharon's attorney. Andy had used him years ago for a civil suit, but since then, he hadn't seen the man at all. Andy looked to Gavin, dressed perfectly as usual, his suit costing more than Andy made in a paycheck, and he watched as he walked into the room. Andy's eyes darted behind Gavin where he saw Sharon coming down the hall as well, also looking extremely professional just coming from work.

"Sharon is on her way," he told him, and Andy gave a nod to the door where Sharon now was in the doorway.

"I'm right behind you, Gavin. I told you I needed to use the restroom first," she said crisply as she walked into the room. Andy's eyes widened again as she started to sit. It had about a week and a half, but she'd definitely gained more weight or at least the baby was showing much more. As she started to sit, he could clearly see the round of her stomach. Her clothing was still able to hide some of it, but it was becoming more and more obvious she was pregnant. He watched as she sat down into her chair and pulled it up to the table. She sat next to Gavin, both across the board room table from Andy. He shifted in his seat and leaned forward, folding his hands on the conference table. He almost felt like he was at a divorce proceeding. It had been years since he'd done that, sat across from Sandra, but oddly, that's what it felt like again today. In some ways, it was similar.

"I don't see why we had to go all lawyer on this," Andy sighed as he gestured with his hand. He'd tried to keep them folded, but this whole meeting seemed unnecessary. He'd emailed Sharon about the paperwork. He'd done it the next morning after he'd run into her at work, after he'd flushed out everything with Provenza. The email had been simple, "I'd like to meet to discuss the terms of the paperwork." That's all he had said, and he'd been surprised with her response the next morning.

"My lawyer, Gavin, and I can meet with you, 7:00, April 8 in his office. Thank you," she'd ended it. There had been no signature, nothing, almost looking like this was a business transaction. He'd replied to her telling her he wanted to talk and didn't feel a lawyer was necessary, but he'd gotten the exact same email reply, the email stating the same thing as the first she'd sent. Clearly, she was sending him a message. She wasn't going to meet and discuss anything without her lawyer.

Sharon pursed her lips as Andy went on about not needing a lawyer. She cleared her throat, but before she could speak, Gavin put his hand on hers and smiled at Andy, "Lieutenant, seems we are here because someone, mainly you, has been a naughty boy," he smirked and threw a glance at Sharon. "Now, I've already gone on my little rant about this with Sharon here, and now, it's your turn. I'm completely floored I must sit here and do this for Sharon. She's one of my dearest friends, and that's why I am doing this. Now, she told me you are ready to sign the paperwork, to sign over your parental rights. We can collect your signature and be done with this. I will get you a copy of the paperwork for your records. Sign, sealed, and delivered," he nodded and glanced again at Sharon, who was also sitting forward, her hands folded on the desk. He made a face and turned back to Andy, "Well, I should say, signed and sealed. There's been no delivery yet, not for Sharon. That will come. I'll deliver the paperwork to you, and your part will be over. Sharon's part, then, continues on her own. Now, shall we begin?"

"Hold on," Andy raised a hand. "I've been trying to talk to you," he gave Sharon a stare, "and you won't talk to me without him," he hooked his hand at Gavin. "I'll sign, but I have a stipulation."

Gavin frowned and glanced at Sharon. She didn't look at him, but she continued to look at Andy, her eyes narrowing. Gavin cleared his throat, "Sharon, I have the paperwork ready," he held up the corner of a packet. "Why don't you two hash out whatever, and then we can continue."

Sharon ignored Gavin and looked right at Andy, "What is your stipulation?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. She wanted to play hardball with him, and he just wanted to be done with all of this. "Fine, whatever," he raised his hands in surrender and continued, "we can do this here. Gavin, I tried," he gave him a sarcastic smile. "There are two things I want to know, I guess. I wanted to talk."

She interrupted him, "Are you going to sign the paperwork today or not?"

"I will," he narrowed his eyes, "but I have a couple things to discuss first. I believe that isn't asking too much, you know, as the father of your child."

"Only for a few more minutes," she said with a crisp tone.

"One," Andy jumped right into his questions, "I wanted to offer you money."

"I don't need money," she said, again cutting him off before he finished.

Andy gestured to Gavin, "Gavin, I am trying. I'd like to discuss this with your client," he enunciated and waited for a response. He saw Gavin tap her hand. It was quite again, and then Andy nodded to himself to continue.

"I am aware you don't need money. I'm not here suggesting we have some custody arrangement. Look, I know that's not the deal when I terminate my rights, okay? I'm trying to do something to be helpful."

"Helpful is just signing the papers," she sighed. He watched her lean back in her chair, and when she did, her hands instantly went to her stomach where she rested them on each side. Andy followed her hands, and when their gazes met, she started to move them away.

"Don't change your stance on my account," he told her. "I know what we did. I'm aware there's a baby in there. That's another thing I wanted to ask. I wanted to know if you are okay? I realize this isn't easy on you and is a risk to your health. I am responsible for that and just want to see if you are okay."

"I'm fine," she nodded with a hand raised. The hand returned to her stomach.

"Sharon, answer the man honestly," Gavin encouraged. "I'm saying that as your friend. He asked," he nodded to Andy. "You were just complaining to me back in my office before this."

Andy looked between the two as they shared a few glances. Sharon finally sighed and looked back to Andy, "I'm doing okay. My blood pressure is high, and it's not coming down yet. I keep telling my doctor I have a tremendous amount of stress. I'm also gaining a lot of weight, well more than I did with Emily or Ricky. I've gained 16 pounds so far. That's a lot. I only gained 21 total with Emily and 24 with Ricky. I'm concerned about that, and it's making it harder and harder to hide this," she gestured to the baby.

"I'm sorry," Andy gave her a sympathetic nod. "I'm sorry about all of it. I hope your health stabilizes. I don't know what I can do, but if you need anything, let me know. As for the weight," he gestured toward her, "you can't tell. I mean," he sighed, "I know there's a baby there, and yeah, it's becoming more visible, but with the clothing you are wearing, you can't see an extra 16 pounds there. Crazy something that small is doing that much to you. I'm sorry. Baby is like a peanut in there," he sighed.

"Don't call him that," Sharon said quickly.

Andy's head snapped to her, "It's a boy? Peanut is what my ex always called our babies. It just came to me. So, the baby is a boy?"

"No," Sharon shook her head and continued, "I mean, I don't know. I think of him as a boy because my cravings are very similar to Ricky. Emily and Ricky were very different. This is a lot more like Ricky, except for the ridiculous weight gain. Mother's intuition," she shrugged. "Anyway," she cleared her throat, "I don't think I'm going to find out. I don't need to know yet. I can wait and find out when he's born."

"Sure, okay," Andy nodded. "Everything else is checking out okay, though? There's no crazy diseases in my family, but you do need to watch for addictive tendencies. Sorry," he offered a small shrug.

"Hmm," she nodded as she thought, "something all three of my children will share. Now, I've told you I'm fine. Can you sign, please?"

Gavin started to pull out the paperwork, but Andy raised his hand in defense again, "No, I'm serious about the money."

"Lieutenant, once you sign the paperwork, you are legally not responsible for this baby. Sharon will not claim it as yours, and you do not have to pay for anything."

"Look, it's bad enough you and I are okay for me to walk away," Andy offered to Sharon as he met her gaze. "I'm not signing until you take some money."

"I'm not some one-hour girl you are paying for a good time," Sharon snapped. Andy's eyes grew wide at her snapping at him. So far, they'd been able to keep things somewhat civil and professional, but she'd snapped. He found her sitting forward, her work death glare now staring back at him. "I'm able to raise my baby myself. I don't need your money. I don't want you to think you have anything over me or this baby. You don't get to throw a few bucks in to get your time with him later."

"That's what you think?" Andy asked, his voice pitch changing as he was getting irritated. "That's not it at all. I'm trying to do something to help you. I realize we screwed around, and I did that to you. The least I can do is give you some money. You don't want it-fine! You can put it toward his college or whatever. I don't care. Use the money for diapers or childcare. Buy yourself a manicure and massage. I really don't care. I feel responsible-I am responsible, and the least I can do is give you some cash. I don't see you as a high-priced girl or something," he slumped back into his chair and covered his face with his hand.

"You two need to figure this out. Lieutenant, you won't sign until then?" Gavin asked.

"I came here to sign. I never anticipated we'd get into a blow up about some cash. I'll sign if she takes the money. Gavin, I'm also here to pay you for your time. Don't charge her. I'll pay for this," he gestured to the group.

"Gavin doesn't charge me for this," Sharon explained. "He's an old, dear friend. This is done because I asked him to do so. Keep your money for that. For me, I just want you to sign, so sure," she flashed a fake smile, "what are we talking here? I'll take your $100 or so, whatever," she waved a hand and bit her lip as she looked to Gavin.

Gavin looked to Andy and nodded. It seemed Andy had won this round, and he shifted in his seat to pull out an envelope. He cleared his throat as he dug into it, "Thank you. I appreciate you taking the money. Knowing the little I do about you, even I knew you wouldn't take a check. Sure," he shrugged as he pulled out the money, "I knew you might take it, but with a check, I knew you wouldn't cash it. So, I got cash. It's here. It's clean and not from evidence or something," he smirked. "Here it is. You can't argue, and you can't push it back on me. I won't take it, and I definitely won't sign. $10,000, cash," he said slowly as he pushed the envelope across the table toward Sharon. He noted both Gavin's and Sharon's eyes grew wide as he slid it toward them. Sharon started to shake her head.

"No, no, I'm not taking that. I certainly don't need $10,000, not from you. You made it sound like it was a few hundred dollars, max, but $10,000?" she questioned. "Where did you even get all of that?"

"Savings," Andy said in his short tone. "I'm say this qualifies as an emergency expense. To clarify, I didn't suggest it was a few hundred dollars. I just said I had money for you. I'm a professional. It took me years to dig out of my divorce, but I did. I bought a house, and I've been doing fine. My kids are out of college and on their own, so I don't have big payments to them anymore. I drive an old car, and I really don't care about much else. I have a decent amount in savings. You will be taking the $10,000 to do whatever you want. I'll sign when you accept that."

The money sat in an envelope on the table. The three stared at it. Finally, Gavin looked to Andy, "Lieutenant, what are your expectations? I mean, what would you like in return for the cash? You can't buy a child or any sort of arrangement with cash. That's against the law, and you know that."

"Nothing," Andy said, staring right at Sharon. "I don't want anything. That's for her, for the kid. Buy him whatever he needs. I will feel better about things if you take the money."

"Hmm," she hummed and nodded. "You'll feel better that I'm here pregnant with a child we created if you give me money?"

Andy shrugged, "Hey, this is what you want, a clean break. We don't want to be in each other's lives, and that's fine. Yeah, I will feel better if I leave you at least with some starter money for the baby. You never have to tell him it's from me. You never have to utter anything about me, but use it as you need it. Private school is expensive, and you strike me as the private school type."

"Catholic," she replied quickly. "I'm Catholic, and he will go to a Catholic school as my other two did."

"Great," Andy shrugged. "No argument here. I'm Catholic too. At least we agree on something. There's more reason to keep the money-just give it back to the Catholic Church. Take it, and I'll sign."

Sharon glanced at Gavin. He raised an eyebrow at her and gave a small shrug. Sharon turned her attention back to Andy, and she ran her hands over her stomach. Andy sat there, his hands folded on the table again, just waiting.

"Fine," she said quietly and nodded to Gavin before looking down toward her stomach, "I'll take your money. I'd like you to sign, please."

Andy nodded, and Gavin passed him the paperwork, along with a pen. He stood up to walk around toward Andy, "Lieutenant, there spots you need to sign are marked."

"Yeah, yeah," Andy waved at him. "I've looked over all this plenty. She gave it to me a couple weeks ago now. Believe me, I've read and re-read it." Gavin nodded and stood back to give Andy some space. He folded his arms, and Andy took the pen to sign. He looked to Sharon again, "Tell me did you get rid of the dirt bag?"

Sharon eyed him, wondering what he was asking.

"I mean, did your husband sign your divorce papers? You told me you wanted a clean break from both of us, so are you getting it? My kid isn't going to be raised by some dirt bag of your husband, is he?"

"He's my baby," Sharon said crisply again. She lowered her gaze and shook her head. She sighed, "It's going to be official. I will be on my own, as I want."

Andy nodded and started to sign again. He met her gaze, "If you need more money, let me know."

"Lieutenant, I suggested she go after it all, child support, everything, if we are being honest. This termination was not my idea. My idea, and no offense, because we have worked together before, but my suggestion was to take you to the cleaner as far as child support and other support for the baby. Sharon," he hooked his hand at her, where she sat now, staring at the men, her arms folded in a protective stance over the baby, "didn't want that at all. I'm honestly surprised she's taking your money. She wants all ties cut. You, my friend," he nodded to Andy, "are getting the deal of a lifetime here from a woman who is cutthroat when making deals."

Andy nodded and glanced over the paperwork. He again looked to Sharon and found her staring at him, with almost terror in her eyes he'd back out of this deal. He could see it. The woman who didn't flinch when she was handing out punishments to fellow officers looked terrified, and for the first time, he saw her as a mother wanting to protect her child. It was sad in a way, that she saw him as a threat because he didn't want anything to do with the baby-or Sharon for that matter. Without another word, he picked up the pen, signed his name where indicated, and then he put the pen down, closed the folder, and he glanced up at Gavin. "Done," he nodded.

"Thank you," Sharon said in an almost whisper. She stood, and Andy turned to watch her as she did. He couldn't take his eyes off her stomach. He'd stared at it each time he'd seen her the last two weeks, since he'd found out she was carrying his child. His. The baby wasn't his, not anymore, and as he watched her stand, he continued to stare. It was hard not to stare. She was wearing black slacks, a dark purple shirt, and a blazer over it. The blazer was getting too tight, not that he would tell her, but it was, as was the shirt. The shirt did her stomach no favors. He could see that baby growing, and she wouldn't be able to hide it much longer. He looked up at her, and he caught her looking at him. She turned. She gave a quick glance to Gavin, and then she turned to the door. Andy watched her open it and walk down the hall, her heels clicking as she hit the marble flooring in the lobby area. He let out a long sigh and put his head against the back of his chair. Gavin was still shuffling through the paperwork.

"Lieutenant, thank you for this. She will relax now, and I'm hoping that will help her blood pressure," he told him as he read through the documents. "I'm not sure what to say. I don't know if that was easy or not."

Andy stood and turned to Gavin, "It wasn't that hard because I gave her what she wanted. I'm trying to keep emotion out of this. It is what it is. We aren't an item. We slept together a few times for a good time. That was it. She wants the baby. I get that. I would have paid child support, but I've never been a good dad. I've only done what I've been told. I tried with my kids, but they aren't interested. This," he gestured to the room, "I never wanted another kid. I'm sorry she's in this mess, but this, the whole termination of my rights is what she wants. I'd step up if she wanted that. The money is the least I can do. I mean, I know like you said, legally I don't have to do anything, but I helped create the kid, so it's the least I can do."

Gavin nodded, "I'm not a parent and never plan to be one. I love Sharon's kids, always have, and I will love this one. Lieutenant, I know you a decent guy. Sharon is very independent, always has been. You know a baby wasn't in her plans, but she's always been a wonderful mother. She will be to this one too. Whatever arrangement hook-up scheduled you had, I assure you is over. She's told me that much."

Andy raised his hand, "It was just a week, one week we spent sleeping together, mostly on the road for work. We had our fun. I'm just sorry it's come to this. She doesn't want anything, which is," he shook his head and continued, "she's not like any woman I've EVER met."

"No," Gavin frowned, "she's not. She's wonderful and amazing. She's one of my closest friends. She will be okay. That was a very decent thing you did, giving her that money. I know she won't admit it, but it stunned her. Thank you for being decent, Lieutenant. When she came to me and told me everything, I at least knew she'd been with a decent guy, even with your temper at work. Honestly," he flashed a smirk, "I told her she'd have a handsome little guy too. She did at least have good taste sleeping with you, Lieutenant. Now," he paused, "you are free to go. You are free to walk out of here and even pick up the next woman on the street. You have no legal ties to this baby anymore. I will send you the paperwork for your files. I realize this is a bit awkward because you see her on a regular basis at work, but I assure you, she only plans to move forward alone. Consider this a finalized transaction because that's what she told me to tell you. Your business is done, and she would like to get back to whatever normal the two of you had at work before this. Lieutenant, thank you again for considering what Sharon wanted," Gavin said and stuck out his hand. Andy shook it and nodded to him.

"Thanks, Gavin. I appreciate you making this a painless process. It's been a long couple weeks, and now, we can all move on."

Gavin nodded as the two walked to the door, "Imagine how she feels, Lieutenant-she's been dealing with this for four months now, and it's her new reality, life as a single mom once again."


	15. Chapter 15

She sat on the side of the table, her feet dangling, and she looked down at them. She hummed to herself because at least she could still see them. She remembered that about pregnancy, and she wasn't looking forward to it. She ran her hand on her side, and she smiled, feeling the faint flutter inside. The baby was kicking. She'd just started to feel it over the last few days. It had her a little worried because she was now at 18.5 weeks, and she hadn't felt it yet, not until the day before yesterday when she was at work. She had shifted at her desk, and she stopped, thinking something was wrong. She'd had a lot of growing pains, as best as she could describe. She could feel everything pulling on her body, and it was driving her insane. It had been decades since she'd felt that, and for her age and body, she felt like she was in decent shape and was thin. WAS. She wasn't anymore. Her body was expanding, and she almost thought of it as a minute by minute play, the ever expanding. Still, when she'd shifted, she'd felt a faint flutter. She'd paused and waited, almost like she would hear something in the silence. She hadn't, but a few seconds later, she felt that faint, familiar flutter, one she hadn't felt in a very long time. She'd even let out a nervous laugh, one that ended with a tear rolling down her face. Her baby was there, and he was giving her a quick greeting. Now, as she recalled that day, she felt another tear flowing down her face. She moved her hand to wipe it quickly, and she was glad she did because the door opened. She gave a small smile.

"Sharon, good to see you again. I see we are continuing to progress nicely. I'm going to check your blood pressure again. The nurse noted it's lower, and I am glad about that, but I want to confirm," her doctor told her as he entered the room with her chart and closed the door.

Sharon nodded and undid the button on her blouse cuff. She'd already removed her jacket and was glad that she didn't need to undress at every single appointment. She'd already started wearing her shirt out of her pants and was then covering it with her suit jacket to hide the baby as long as possible, but for now, the doctor didn't care about that; he needed her arm. She took a deep breath to relax while he checked her blood pressure.

He was quiet while he worked, and then he smiled at her. "Very good. It's a lot better than it has been. Whatever you are doing, keep it up, but remember, it can go haywire at any moment."

"Oh, that's such a relief," she said with a loud sigh. She patted the baby, as if telling him he'd done a good job, and she looked back to the doctor. "My blood pressure is better, but my weight," she shook her head. "It can't be good for me to gain this much weight this early. I know it gets worse as I get into the third trimester."

He shrugged as he gestured for her to lie back to check the baby on the ultrasound. With her age, she did enjoy that, the doctor wanting to check the baby most visits. She was really loving that part, seeing her little peanut growing so often. He turned on the monitor and turned back to her, "I'm not terribly concerned about your weight. Right now, it's okay. You were thin to start. It's normal for you to gain some weight. 20 lbs. already is a little more than normal, but it's not anything to worry about as far as I'm concerned. We're charting you at 18.5 weeks right now. You have your big ultrasound coming up, correct?"

"Yes," she nodded as she looked to the monitor. She put her hand out, as if she was touching the baby, "they couldn't get it scheduled for two more weeks, so it will be just about 20.5 weeks, May 7."

"That will be fine," he told her. "Baby is looking good. They will do the official measurements during your big ultrasound. That will chart the baby's due date again by size, but remember, the initial information is more accurate. So, if the baby is measuring big, that most likely just means it's a big baby. You were pretty certain of your dates, down to a small window, if I recall."

"Yes," Sharon bit her lip, "down to a week or so. I'm pretty sure it was New Year's Eve. We went with that for my charting. The initial ultrasound was pretty close to that too."

"I remember," he told her. "Are you feeling the baby kick yet?" he asked.

"I am," she flashed a big smile. "That has been wonderful."

The two talked a few more minutes before he finished with her appointment. Sharon finished putting herself back together, made her next appointment, and then she walked to her car. She was excited she didn't have to go back to work today. She'd taken off after lunch. It was nice to have so much leave time, and she was going to use a couple of days next week to travel, which is partly why she couldn't get in her ultrasound appointment. Sharon was going to go and visit Ricky for Mother's Day weekend. She hadn't seen him since she'd told him about the baby, and she was anxious to be with her kids. Emily was going to fly home Memorial Day weekend, and she was delighted about that. Ricky was hoping to visit then too, but she'd told him she wanted to come and see him. He'd fussed a little, concerned about her traveling while pregnant. She'd reassured her son that she was perfectly fine for air travel.

 _"Mom," she started to chuckle as she unlocked her car door, remembering the conversation, "they tell pregnant women not to fly. Why are you intent on breaking that rule?"_

 _"Ricky," she'd sighed and started to laugh, "that's mostly for women much later in pregnancy. Honey, I'm fine. You can barely tell I'm pregnant. I'm okay to travel."_

So, she had a short work week this week with her appointment today, Friday afternoon. Sharon was off for the weekend, and then she had a three-day work week before she flew north to see Ricky. As she situated herself in her car, she decided to give Ricky a quick call. He took a late lunch, and when she looked at her watch, she thought she might catch him eating. It would also give her car time to cool off because she was already hot with this pregnancy. She wasn't looking forward to summer.

"Ricky," she grinned when he answered and immediately followed it with, "everything is fine." She let out a small giggle as he replied to her.

"Hey, Mom, glad to hear it. It's the middle of the afternoon, and you are calling. I'm guessing you had a doctor's appointment?" he asked.

"I did," she nodded. "The baby is doing well. My blood pressure is better than it has been."

"That's good, Mom. Glad to hear it. Did they tell you if it's a boy or a girl?"

"I'm going to be surprised," she told him and continued, "but, I think it's a boy. I have a lot of the same cravings and symptoms as I did with you. Emily was much different. I can't stand spaghetti sauce this time. It makes me sick to even smell it, and I was just like that with you. Odd, but it's something that was very specific."

"Wow, that's crazy you can have odd things like that. Guess I'm glad I don't have to ever worry about being pregnant. I'll make sure we don't get pasta next weekend," he told her.

"I'm just excited to see you. I miss eating pizza right now. I do love it, but my favorite kind even is not tasting good to me," she explained.

"We'll get whatever you want, Mom. I can't believe you are going to have another baby, like I'm getting a little brother," he chuckled.

"Hmm, yes, and again, I think it's a boy. I don't know yet for sure," she explained.

"So, what's the deal with the dad? I wish you would just tell us, Mom," he sighed.

"There's no dad. He signed away everything. That is such a relief to me. It's done. Gavin took care of that paperwork. It's what I wanted, and he gave me that," she stated. "It's not a concern."

"Really, Mom? Some guy knocked you up, signs a couple papers, and now, he walks away? That's messed up. If I did that to a girl-" she cut him off.

"Richard Raydor, you will NOT do that to a young woman, understand me? I expect you to be a gentleman and take care of any woman you love," she sighed.

"See, that," he picked up on her term, "love. You said this guy was just a guy."

Sharon grimaced, "Yes, Ricky. I think we both understand how a baby is made. I know you don't want to envision your mother with a man, but it happened. Believe me, I have no intention of doing something so stupid again," she huffed.

"Look, I don't want to get you upset, but he knocked you up and walked away. I just think a decent guy would be a dad. We both know Dad couldn't even hang around for us," he said. "Note-Dad's not a decent guy. Emily and I know that. No offense, Mom, but you've picked some winners."

"Ricky, this man did what I asked. He walked away. I don't need another deadbeat father in my child's life. I saw enough heartache with you and Emily. This way is better," she nodded. "And, in the future, can we find something a little more refined than 'knocked me up,' please? Honestly, Ricky, I know that's the sad truth, but this is your brother or sister we are discussing, and I don't want that term to be thrown around with him or her. It's bad enough I'll have to explain the absence of a father, but please. Now, I need to get going. I wanted to touch base with you, and I will see you next week."

"Sounds good, Mom," he told her. "Love ya, and yeah, I'll come up with something better. Maybe I'll just say you were impregnated. I hope I didn't upset you. I just worry; Emily and I both worry and think it's crappy a guy can walk away from this with no consequences."

"I love you too, and you didn't upset me. I appreciate the concern, but even that term," she sighed. "Let's just say I'm having a baby. End of discussion. As for the man, like I said, he did what I wanted. Had I wanted to go after him for child support, I could have done just that. That, in turn, could have him going after custody or visitation. I don't want that. Ricky, trust me that I know what I'm doing."

"I hope you do, Mom. I'll talk to you in a few days," he said.

The two hung up, and she sighed loudly as she sat in her car. Sharon understood her kids' concern; she did. It was just not their concern, as in she was a grown adult and would take care of all her children, even the newest addition. As she sat, she thought about her day. She didn't really want to go home yet. She was feeling better than she had in awhile. While now halfway through her second trimester, her body was taking longer to adjust to that. She'd read in her books most women had more energy now. She didn't, but it was getting better. Most women didn't have nauseous feelings. She still did. Most women were just starting to show. She glanced at her stomach and sighed. She most definitely was showing, and it seemed like it was getting more visible each day. She really needed to tell Chief Pope and had an appointment with him next Wednesday, right before she flew up to see Ricky.

With her good mood, she decided to do a little shopping. She still needed quite a few things for her wardrobe. Summer was almost here. It already too hot for Sharon. She had purchased a few things weeks ago now, but she knew she would need some summer tops and even shorts or capri pants, not to mention a couple of dresses. She didn't want to buy much, but she did need a wardrobe. She'd tried to keep the work attire to a minimum, but she still had to live each day, every single day of the summer. She wasn't ready to look at baby things yet. She still wasn't in a "safe" zone with the baby yet. She'd told herself she'd start looking after 25 weeks. That seemed to be a significant milestone with her doctor, and it was with what she'd read. Every week after 25 weeks, the baby had a much higher chance of survival, not that she would ever wish an early delivery, but she was realistic. No, before then, it was still a possibility something would happen, and she couldn't handle that right now. It was enough that she was pregnant with her age. She'd adjusted to that reality, but now, she needed to wait on baby things until she had a little more security about delivering a healthy baby into the world.

As Sharon drove to the outdoor shopping area, her mind started to wander. Somehow, she started thinking about money and the huge envelope of cash she still had at the condo. It was in her nightstand, and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with it. Her practical side told her it was stupid to keep it in a drawer. It could be earning interest in the bank, but the money almost felt tainted. She couldn't believe he'd given her money, $10,000 to be exact. That had shocked her. It had taken everything she had not to let her jaw drop open, not to say something crazy to him, but she'd tried to keep her cool. Looking back, she wanted to say so much more to him. It still blew her mind he'd given her any money at all, not to mention $10,000. Jack had never given her $10,000 to help with the kids. He'd just left, and instead of giving her any money, he'd cleaned out what money they had in any of their accounts. It was just so strange. He'd been so insistent too, and that was odd to her. She knew she couldn't keep it in the drawer, but right now, she didn't know what she wanted to do with it. Honestly, she should start a college fund for the baby with it. She knew a lot about finances and starting one this early would be a wise investment. The money would really grow. Without the baby even here, it felt premature to do that, but she nodded as she drove that it would be the best idea. She didn't need any huge items right now. Her car was only a year and a half old. She didn't want to just pay down more on the condo with it. It would make a dent, but she felt like he'd given her the money for the baby, and she should use it for him. College was the best choice. She'd put it in some sort of fund, and that was something she could discuss with her financial planner. It was almost a headache, thinking through all the finances and legalities. Legal issues-that was something else. Thank goodness she had Gavin. He'd already started working on her updated will. She wanted the baby to go to Emily if something happened. She knew Emily would be okay with that and planned to talk to her about it when she visited. Ricky, she shook her head chuckling, was a very smart young man, but he wouldn't do well with a baby right now. Emily was a little older and had a good career. She had spent years babysitting and loved kids. Sharon hated to think about a world in which she died and left her three children to care for each other, but it was something she couldn't hide. That was her last big hurdle. It was such a relief now Andy had signed the paperwork. Things were going to be okay.

Sharon spent a few hours shopping, even stopping to rest and get some dinner while out. This pregnancy was wearing on her. She was tired all the time, and the problem was she just wasn't recovering. She was very thankful that her job allowed to sit and do paperwork a lot of the day. It kept her off her feet and really, out of the line of sight from many. Her assistant knew, mostly because Sharon's doctor's office had called to change appointments a few times. Sharon shook her head as she remembered her assistant letting it slip she'd had a doctor's appointment back when Andy had come looking for her, before he knew. It was out in the open now, she thought as she smoothed her hands over the baby bump she visibly had, and by next week, even Pope would know.

Her meeting with Pope was another issue. She planned to tell him she was going on a full 12-week maternity leave, but she wasn't planning to share, not yet at least, that she might not come back. She'd been thinking lately about retiring, not to just sit around and play bingo all day, but to retire and try something new in her life. Teaching was appealing to her, and she'd thought about that as a career. She could teach criminal justice at a community college or even a four-year college possibly. Her parents wanted her to come back to Arizona, and if she'd learned one thing after the week road trip with the chief and her family, it was that she didn't want to live that close to her parents. She loved them dearly, but she didn't want to be outside of Phoenix. For one, it was too hot. They also lived in a retirement community, and that was definitely not what she wanted. They were 80 and 78, but they were both going strong still. She loved that about them, but she couldn't move there and raise a baby with them hovering. Sure, she understood why they wanted her near them. She had been toying with the idea of moving closer to them. Los Angeles wasn't terribly far, but she could be closer. That was a possibility.

Now, as she drove home, she ran her hand over the spot where she could feel the tiny flutters again. He was awake and kicking. It was so excited, and she was looking forward to sharing that with Emily and Ricky. Both would be shocked to feel the baby, and the kicks would only get stronger as she continued with the pregnancy. She was glad the kids were doing okay with everything. Her parents were disappointed; she knew that, even if they wouldn't say it. She could understand it and realized she would most likely feel the same way if it had happened to her kids, a situation like this. She hadn't thought it was possible to be more embarrassed back when she'd told the kids, and she'd been wrong. It had been more embarrassing to tell her parents, to confess to her parents she'd been sleeping around with a man while also still technically married to Jack. That had made her almost want to crawl into her skin. She was glad that conversation had taken place over the phone, and she was also glad they couldn't see her on a daily basis to view the indiscretion each day. Yes, the kids had taken it better than her parents, but they were still going to welcome a new grandchild in a few months. Here, Sharon had thought it would be wonderful if they lived to see great-grandchildren, and she never in her wildest dreams imagined they would see a third grandchild from her.

She decided to make one more stop on her way home to pick up more ice cream. Oh, that wasn't helping with her weight; she knew that, but she almost couldn't stand the craving. She really wanted some ice cream, the more chocolate the better. Sharon didn't need anything else, just the ice cream and realized she looked like the typical pregnant lady feeding her craving. As she looked through the ice cream selections, she glanced to her left and let out a slight sigh. Provenza. She just had to stop for ice cream at the store. She eyed him, trying to see if he'd noticed her. She could see he had a small basket, so he, too, wasn't doing a lot of grocery shopping, and he was picking out different frozen microwave dinners. Sharon grabbed two flavors, Chocolate Chocolate Chip and Creamy Vanilla, which she could cover in chocolate sauce and peanut butter at home, and she tried to make herself invisible. It didn't work. As she started to turn, she made eye contact with him, even though she was trying to avoid it. He just had to live near her. It wasn't the first time she'd run into him at the grocery store.

"Lieutenant," she said as she walked toward him. They were only a few feet away, and there was no easy way to avoid him now.

"Captain," he raised an eyebrow as he glanced at her. After leaving the doctor's office earlier in the afternoon, she had not put her suit coat back on, and she'd left her shirt out, as she'd been wearing it. The shirt was getting too short with the baby bump, but she hadn't really cared during her shopping because she was away from work. Yes, she knew she always ran the risk of seeing people in Los Angeles, but she'd been shopping during working hours and had even eaten an early dinner. Quite frankly, she was hoping to grab her ice cream and return home without seeing anyone. She felt Provenza almost gawking at her stomach; she had not seen him in awhile. Even at work, she'd worked hard to keep her suit jacket closed and her peanut hidden. To pull his eyes from her stomach, she moved her basket in front of her stomach to block the view.

"Looks like you are picking up some dinner," she nodded to him, trying to be cordial.

"Friday night special," he nodded to his basket. "Normally, I spend Friday nights at the bar with Flynn, but he ditched me for a meeting. I'm left on my own with a microwave meal I'm sure I'll regret."

Sharon chuckled. Provenza was funny, even if she didn't want to admit it, and she knew he was a good police officer. He'd been in the department longer than almost anyone, and she had not had too many run-ins with him over the years. The two just weren't friends, and she was okay with that. He was gruff at times and disliked her for the job she did. She had to work with him at times, and right now, she just wanted to go home.

"Well, enjoy your evening," she gave him a polite nod.

"Captain, no offense, but you of all people should eat better than that in your condition," he eyed her. She blushed slightly, almost surprised he'd hit on the elephant in the room. She shifted her basket again, as if that would hide the baby.

She pursed her lips before answering, "I've eaten already. Thank you for your concern," she said in a crisp tone. I'm on my way home and had a craving that would not go away. I'm sure you understand that."

He nodded quietly, "He's told me everything. I'm most surprised you let him walk away. I figured you for one who would hunt him down for every cent you could get, not that it wouldn't be the right thing to do. He would have paid too. Captain, he's a decent guy even if he's landed on the wrong side of your desk on multiple occasions."

Sharon flipped her hair, a nervous habit. She shifted her stance too, "Lieutenant, thank you for the concern for your friend. This is a closed issue. I'm only looking after the best interest of my family. HE," she enunciated, "is not part of my family, and I have the legal paperwork to prove it. I'd appreciate you not bring any of this up at work. I know you can be discreet and expect it regarding this issue. As far as work, everyone will know by the end of next week I'm pregnant and getting divorced. Those points are both true. People can speculate what they want."

He shook his head, "You'd rather the whole LAPD think that kid," he nodded to her stomach, "belongs to that sick pig Jack Radyor as opposed to Flynn?"

Sharon glanced around, sure their conversation would attract attention. Thankfully, no one nearby was paying any attention to them. She cleared her throat, "Yes, I would rather people assume that. I was MARRIED to Jack. That would seem like a logical thing, especially considering I already have two children with him. That is better than the LAPD gossiping about me with a fellow officer, a lower ranking one at that, and then, having a child because of an affair. We all have our skeletons, Lieutenant. We all have our mistakes in life. You, you get married to any woman you date. I," she sighed and shook her head, "I have terrible taste in men and give into moments of indiscretion. Lieutenant, I'm done discussing this."

Provenza tightened his lips and just gave a single nod. He eyed her basket again, "Enjoy your ice cream. Just," he shook his head, "just, take care of yourself. As much as I hate you, getting reprimanded by you is better than the morons you have working for you. Sadly, Captain," he let out a low chuckle, "I'd rather deal with you and not the idiots in your office. It's more like I know we have to deal with you at times; that's a given, so just do whatever to," he waved his arm and didn't finish that thought. "Have a good night, Captain," he told her.

"You too," she said, almost breathless as she cleared her throat again.

She started to walk away, and he called to her again, "I have it on good authority you can splurge on more than just a couple quarts of ice cream." Sharon turned, not sure what he was saying and looked to him. He gave a slight shrug and a smirk, "Oh, yes, the idiot told me about the money too. Even you, Captain, must admit Flynn's a decent guy. He gave you what you want and more. He walked away and still tried to make sure his indiscretion had a financial foundation."


	16. Chapter 16

She was mad. She was sad. She was happy. She was fearful. She was grateful. She was worried. She was relieved. She was pregnant. She was still pregnant, and that was the best feeling in the world right now. It was the Wednesday before Memorial Day weekend, now the end of May. The last few weeks had flown by for Sharon between work, her visit with Ricky, and her doctor's appointments. While her pregnancy had been annoying her to no end with all the changes it was doing to her body, today, she was eternally grateful to still be pregnant.

Work had been busy, very busy. Her team had been stretched thin between three different cases. They were used to working multiple cases at the same time, but it wasn't often they had three call outs in a 24-hour time period. She felt like the police department had gone rogue with the issues she'd handled lately, officer involved shootings and all, but eventually, things had been sorted. Thankfully, that mess had not interrupted her trip north to see Ricky. No, the work mess had happened right after she'd returned from her trip, but her trip had gone well. It had been nice to get out of L.A., even for just a couple of days, and Ricky had been so excited to see her. Sharon had timed her trip with the end of Ricky's semester. He was now living up north in an apartment off campus. Her kids both had late November birthdays, so he had just finished his first year in computers. For the summer, though, Ricky was taking classes and working in the computer lab, and she'd hit the sweet spot between school sessions. She loved spending time with her kids, even when they didn't do much of anything, which was the case on her trip. He was really growing up and had mentioned wanting to stay at school for the summer back at Thanksgiving. On this visit, Ricky had taken her to a few of his favorite restaurants, the two had gone to not one, but two movies, and they'd done some walking in a state park he liked. It had been a good visit. Her doctor's appointments had been filling up the rest of her time between work and travel. She'd had her big ultrasound a couple weeks ago, and to her delight, the baby looked good. The baby looked large to her, but good. Everything was measuring well, and to her amazement, nothing was wrong. Her age had been such a concern, but she appeared to be carrying a perfectly healthy baby. She'd been saying prayers each day, hoping for a healthy baby.

All of that had almost been ruined by her stupidity and stubbornness yesterday. She'd had an afternoon doctor's appointment, where to her relief, her blood pressure was still holding. She was now at 23 weeks, and she was starting to relax, starting to believe she could and would carry a baby who would make it. Yes, that sounded morbid, but she'd read way too much on the Internet and in her many baby books about babies being born too early, before they were viable, and that had terrified her. As she crossed of the days, getting closer and closer to 25 weeks, she started to let out slow sighs of relief. Now, she knew that 25 weeks was no magical number or guarantee. She knew that, yes, but everything she'd read had said viability increased dramatically after 25 weeks. Yes, she'd also read about the rare cases of babies surviving before 25 weeks, but she'd held onto that number, knowing if she could get to that point, she was giving him a greater chance of survival. After all Sharon had been through, the surprise and almost denial initially, she was so excited about her baby. She couldn't wait to meet him.

The "him" was another thing. She had asked to be surprised at the birth and still technically didn't know the gender. It was adding to her excitement, dreaming of her baby, and yes, she still believed it was a boy. Her heartburn had returned in full force just at 20 weeks. She had experienced a lot of that with Ricky, but not with Emily. She chalked that up to the baby being a boy. Her heartburn had gotten to be so irritating, she'd asked her doctor about it, and he joked with her about the old wives' tale that her baby would have a full head of hair. She'd just rolled her eyes because that had not been true with Ricky. Neither Emily nor Ricky had been born with hair. She'd had the bald babies and wondered if they would ever grow hair. So, when her doctor joked about that, she just huffed and said that didn't really help her now. What concerned Sharon was that if things were this bad now-the heartburn and weight gain-she didn't even want to think about how things would be as she got into her third trimester.

Today, she was just grateful to still be pregnant because things could have gone so badly. After her doctor's appointment yesterday, she'd run a few errands and then returned home. After getting her armload of groceries upstairs, as in preparation for Emily's upcoming visit, she'd put everything away in the condo and started on some household chores. She'd put in laundry, dusted, and had finished by working in her guest room where she'd noted she needed to get out her guest towels and extra blankets. Emily was a creature of habit. She was always cold, much like her mother, and Sharon kept extra blankets just for her. She stored them on the top shelf of the closet. She'd gotten her step stool to retrieve the blankets, and that's when things had fallen apart. Her doctor had warned her about using ladders, and of course, she knew the risk too, but it hadn't stopped her from getting up on her step stool. She told herself it was just a step stool, but that didn't change the outcome. It didn't help she had high ceilings in her condo, forcing her to climb even higher, and with all her baby weight gain, her balance was thrown off. She fell off the step stool, not a terrible fall, but enough of one to alarm her. It honestly had helped she had the blankets in hand, and as she fell, they fell out of her arms and helped to cushion her fall. Looking back now, she felt so stupid. She could have killed her baby retrieving blankets. It just didn't seem like it was anything that dangerous. She used step stools all the time, or she had. With an extra 25 pounds of baby, most of it now protruding from her stomach, she didn't realize just how off balance she was. Thankfully, she'd not felt any pain or sudden jolt from the fall, but it was enough to scare her. It was maybe only a couple feet she fell, as her foot just didn't hit the step as she backed down the step stool, but she didn't want to risk anything. She had her cell phone in her pocket and called Gavin. He suggested she call an ambulance and said he would meet her at the hospital, but she didn't want that. She wasn't bleeding, wasn't in pain, and she really felt she was fine, but she was scared. Reluctantly, he agreed to come and get her, not that he was irritated by doing so, but he really wanted her to have professionals evaluate her. She explained she didn't want to make a scene and have word eventually get back to the LAPD because she knew as a police captain, calling out the EMS, yes, it somehow would get back to work.

So, Gavin had come to her, telling her over and over how stubborn she was. She didn't move much while she waited. With the blankets there, she decided to just lie back on the floor and get a feel for the baby. She wanted to make sure she didn't start feeling contractions or anything of that nature. She also wanted to see if she felt the baby. It worried her when she didn't feel him moving, and she told Gavin that right away when he arrived. Thankfully, he wasn't in court. That was today, the start of a new trial, but he'd been working hard in his office. He helped her get up, and the two gingerly moved her toward the living room. Content that she wasn't in extreme pain, he then agreed to get her to the hospital without calling for an ambulance, and the two rushed to the ER.

The ER had sent her upstairs to L & D because she was over 20 weeks along, and that scared her too, the thought this could all end right there in Labor and Delivery with a bad outcome. L & D put her on the monitors, called her doctor, and checked her vitals. She started crying when they put the monitor on the baby, and she heard his heartbeat. Gavin almost did too, and Sharon teased him about that later when she was told everything was looking okay. She'd clutched his hand for hours, something, now she realized she needed to apologize to him because she was sure she'd hurt his hand, clutching it so hard. The baby was looking okay, but because of her age and elevated blood pressure again-which she was convinced was due to the scare-the doctor decided to keep her overnight for observation, and that is where she now found herself. It was mid-morning, and she was waiting to be discharged. The little peanut, who wasn't so little anymore by the size of her stomach, was doing just fine. Sharon was exhausted and had barely slept all night, worried she'd start going into labor from her fall. Again, she was just at that hard spot, 23 weeks. She'd read enough to know babies didn't survive easily at 23 weeks. She was sick at the thought of delivering now, and she was restless all night thinking about it. Earlier in the morning, her doctor had told her she could go home today and would be back later to discharge her. She wasn't in a hurry. She was perfectly content to relax and let her baby grow stronger.

She realized she had dozed off when she opened her eyes and felt how dry her mouth was. She started smacking her lips and then noticed she was warm; a blanket was draped on her. She pulled her watch up to check the time, and it was now 2:30. She'd slept for a few hours, sleep she knew she desperately needed after her long night. She started to shift and felt a pain on her side. She let out a groan as she did and turned to take the pressure off her side. She groaned even more when she saw Andy sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. His elbows were resting on his knees, and he had his head bent. She didn't think he'd noticed she was awake.

"Why are you here?" she groaned again, this time in irritation, and closed her eyes, wishing she had her glasses on to focus. They were sitting on a tray table, and she didn't want to move that much to show Andy she was awake. She sighed, and her hands moved to her sides, almost as if she was in protection mode.

She cracked on eye open and saw his stance change when she spoke. His head snapped up, and he looked to her. She closed her eyes again and shifted so she wasn't looking toward him, "Oh, I don't' know," he told her and continued, "I just like to roam the hospital halls on the off chance someone I know is here. I was trying to let you sleep. Give me credit for that much."

"You know what I mean," she grumbled, still refusing to look over at him. "I'm not your concern. Why are you here, and to go along with that," she now realized she did want to stare him down, "how did you even find out I was here?" Sharon shifted and turned, now her full attention on him. She wanted answers and wanted them now.

He continued to rest his elbows on his knees as he sat forward, his eyes meeting hers. He frowned, "I came because I heard you'd fallen- from one of your goons at work, not you, but one of your idiot detectives. Seems my division would rather work with you, even though they don't like that either, but when it comes down to it, you are the preferred option from your division. One of your goons came to our division, wanting to go over the details from that case a couple weeks ago we took over from Robbery/Homicide after one of their guys was involved. Anyway, Chief is the one who asked where you were. Even Chief prefers dealing with you over your clueless detective. He spilled the news, that you'd taken a fall last night and were in the hospital. Since the LAPD is now buzzing about the baby," he nodded to her, "the team, Julio in fact," he clarified, "asked if you and the baby were okay. Your detective said you were staying for observation, so here I am, observing the pregnant lady being observed."

"Swinson," she sighed loudly and shook her head.

"See," Andy gestured his hand without lifting it from his knee and continued, "you even know the moron without me naming him. He's a real idiot. I can't believe you're keeping him in your division."

"I didn't ask you to come," she huffed.

"Well aware," he snapped back at her. "That's precisely why I'm here. I wanted to check on you and make sure you and the peanut are okay."

Her eyes widened, "I told you not to call him that."

He stood and stretched while he locked eyes with her, "Fine, I was concerned about you and the princess."

She narrowed her gaze, "I also told you I think it's a boy."

He shrugged, "And, I, just to irritate you, think it's a girl. There is no reason I think that, but I just want to irritate you because you are so intent on being nasty to me. I-" he was interrupted when the door opened, and both turned toward it.

"Hi there," the nurse smiled as she walked toward Sharon. She gave a nod to Andy, "I see that you are awake. You looked so peaceful sleeping earlier. I'm glad you got some rest. I have your discharge papers here, so you are free to go. I see your husband is ready to take you home."

"He's most definitely not my husband," Sharon frowned and made a face. The nurse even let out a low chuckle at that, while Sharon looked horrified.

"I'm so sorry," the nurse shook her head. "Your friend was here yesterday and clarified he was just a friend, so I assumed," she trailed off and shook her head. "I assume too much working up here."

"It's fine," Andy tried to break the tension and continued, "I'm the father."

Sharon snapped her head at him and gave him a death stare. She wanted to snap at him, but the nurse just proceeded with her information. "Your doctor said you are fine to go home, but as he told you, you cannot go back to work today. He wants you to take it easy tomorrow, and then said, if you are okay and not in pain, you can go back to work on Friday. He said you know to call him if you have any problems and said he will see you in a regular appointment slot on Monday. Now," she looked to Sharon, "any questions for me."

Sharon, who had finally turned from glaring at Andy back to listening to the nurse, shook her head and gave her a small smile. Her hand started to run in circles over her stomach, "No, I don't. Thank you for your help. I do really appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm on edge and snapped at you."

"You had a scare," the nurse patted her hand, and when she did, she grinned at Sharon. "I believe I felt your baby kicking when I patted your hand."

"Yes," Sharon grinned too. "He's active again today. I was worried yesterday when I fell. He seems to be recovering just fine. Oh, I did want to ask about staying here in the room, at least for a few more hours. My friend is an attorney and is in court. He can't get me until later today."

"Sharon, I'll take you home," Andy called out from the corner where he was still standing. She had tuned him out to focus on speaking with the nurse. The nurse looked and Sharon and glanced back to Andy. She gave Sharon a sympathetic smile, "I'm not sure we can keep you in the room that long. I believe they were hoping to turn it over for another patient."

"Sharon, just let me take you back home," Andy pleaded. "I have to go back to work anyway. I'm going to be leaving the hospital, and it is absolutely stupid for you to stay here and wait for Gavin when I'm perfectly capable of dropping you off."

Sharon closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them, she looked to the nurse, "Fine, I'll go home now. Thank you," she said in an almost business-like tone and accepted the paperwork from the nurse. The nurse smiled again and patted her hand, "You get some rest. I don't want to see you back here for another four months or so." The nurse turned to leave, and Sharon watched Andy give her a nod and a smile. He took a step toward Sharon, mainly to let the nurse walk by, and then he crossed his arms, looking at her.

"Don't call him that," she snapped instantly when the door closed.

Andy got a puzzled look, "What? I didn't say peanut."

"Your child, that you are the father," she explained. "You're not."

Andy took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he looked to the ceiling. He looked back at her, "Fine, let me call the nurse back in here to explain. I'll explain I got you pregnant, which would make me the father, but you wanted me to sign away those rights, so technically, I'm not the father now, just a sperm donor. Let me do that," he stated.

"Don't act like you were forced into signing," she pointed her finger at him while her other hand continued to run over her stomach.

"I didn't say I was pressured! You also didn't really suggest much choice or much else. Yeah, I signed because YOU ASKED. It's what you wanted. I told you from the start I would pay and whatever else, that I'd step up to be yet, again, a crappy father," he waved and turned away from her. "Look, I'm not here to argue. You keep picking apart anything I say. I just came to check on you. I was worried."

"Again, that begs the question why did you come?" Sharon shifted again to sit up more in the bed. "As we have discussed for the tenth time or so, you are not the father anymore."

Andy turned back to her, shaking his head, "Why are you so nasty to me? I've done nothing but what you ask. I simply came here out of concern. I don't have to legally be tied to you or the princess to be concerned. I put you in this mess and can want to check on you."

"We are not friends. We have concluded any, any," she paused to find the right word as she was getting irritated again, "business we had together."

"Yeah, well," he slapped his hand to his side as he dropped it from his gesture, "I don't see a line of friends here to check on you. I know Gavin probably brought you. I'm here now, and it sounds like I'm the only friend you've got. Even that is a loose term. If you'd like to go home, I'm offering to take you. Don't worry that I'll try to do anything more. I'm not looking to sleep with you again, so you can relax about that."

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, I didn't come here to fight. You keep pushing it. Now, the nurse has said you can go. Can we please get you home? I know you will rest better there, and it's better for the baby."

"He and I will be just fine," she said crisply as she tried to shift and move. She was stiff from staying in the bed and needed to change back into her clothing. She hadn't wanted to ask Gavin to go back to the condo for her things, especially when it was looking like she would go home today, so she'd just worn a hospital gown and planned to put on her clothing from yesterday. Andy noticed as she grimaced and took the two steps toward her to steady her arm as she stood.

"I don't need you to help me," she told him. He continued to steady her arm.

"I'm just trying to be a decent guy. I'd do this for any friend. Look, let me help you stand up right here. You had a fall, and you're probably stiff, even if you don't want to admit it. And, from what I can see, princess is getting much bigger."

As he talked, Sharon stood, not wanting to admit he'd helped her a great deal as she got up off the awkward hospital bed. When she was standing, he let go of her arm and stepped back, respecting her space. He had helped her. It had been awkward, but she couldn't admit she was thankful for the help. At the mention of the size of the baby, her hands cupped her stomach.

"Why do you do that?" he asked as she looked for her things. She saw her glasses and watch there on the table and started to put them on. "Why do you go into defensive mode when I mention the kid? I've given you my rights. I'm not going to snatch the kid from you. Come on! I'm noting that princess is growing."

"HE," she enunciated, "Is getting big. I'm getting big. I'm so big and getting very uncomfortable. Your large baby contribution to this has me over 25 pounds already I've gained. 25 pounds!" she exclaimed. "That is more than either Emily or Ricky total. I still have around 17 weeks to go. That is insane. I'll barely be able to walk by then, not to mention some of the maternity clothing I've bought doesn't even fit me anymore! You have no idea how humiliating it is to buy maternity clothing, wear it a few times, and now, that doesn't even fit. I want to scream about that, but I can't. I won't because I almost lost him yesterday, and no matter what, I'm so glad he's okay. Whatever weight I continue to gain, I'm going to try my best not to complain, but it is hard. It's REALLY hard when I feel worse and worse each day."

Andy listened to her rant and just nodded when she finished. He didn't anything; he just nodded. She gestured with her hands and looked for her clothing. Andy saw her looking around and spotted the clothing on a chair in the other corner. He moved quickly to grab it for her and returned with it. Her things were all folded. She took the items and silently walked to the bathroom to change. Andy just walked to the window to look out while she got ready. He watched the people below, coming and going. He zoned in on a couple, the guy holding the woman's hand as they walked from the parking lot toward the building, the woman extremely pregnant. He sighed and shook his head. The last few months of his life had been a mess, a disaster, and he didn't feel like he could do anything right.

"Lieutenant," he heard and before he turned he let out his breath again. She was getting on every nerve he had. "Lieutenant Flynn, I'm ready to go home."

Andy turned and gestured toward her, "Don't you think we are a little beyond the formalities of rank and all? Come on, Sharon," he sighed. "You know I expect you to call me Andy."

She pursed her lips, "No, in fact, I think Lieutenant Flynn is just fine. As I said earlier, we concluded any business we had together."

"You are so stuck on that!" he exclaimed. "Fine, call me Andy because that's what friends call each other, not that you have many. If a cop friend gets shot, I visit. If a cop friend is in the hospital for surgery, I visit. If a cop FRIEND," he said to specify her this time, "is in the hospital due to pregnancy complications, I visit. You can at least call me Andy as a friend. Whatever," he waved her off and turned back to the window to cool down. "You want to think of me as Lieutenant Flynn, the guy who knocked you up, fine with me."

"You and my son, what is it with you and that term?" she huffed.

"Fine," he flashed a smirk as he turned back to her. "We went at it like wild animals. Better? You were like a cougar on the prowl. I was the there just to de your donor baby daddy. There, how is that? All of it sounds awful, so again, Andy should be sounding pretty decent."

She scowled at him, "I'm ready to go."

He eyed the door, "Don't you have to go out in a wheelchair or something?"

"Oh, that's not happening," she pointed at him. "I'm perfectly able to walk out of her. I didn't have a baby. I'm fine. I'll get out of here before the nurse even notices. She gave me my paperwork, so I'm getting out of here."

Andy just sighed and shook his head. He watched her gather the last of her things, wanting to offer to help, but he knew it would spark another argument. Besides that, she didn't have a lot to gather. She really just had her paperwork and purse. When she was ready, she turned to him. He gestured to the door, again, choosing not to speak. Sharon glanced toward the nurse's station and when satisfied she could dart out, she moved quickly in the other direction, which really looked a lot like a waddle. Andy grumbled to himself and just followed, not sure why she wanted to live so hard and be so difficult. It wasn't until they were around the corner and safely on the elevator, he spoke again.

"Do you need to pick up anything on the way home? I'm happy to stop if you need food or need to go to the drugstore for anything-whatever, really."

Her hand continued to run in circles on the side of her stomach, "I'm fine. I just want to go home." It was probably a good thing there were others in the elevator. The two lapsed into silence, and when they finally emerged from the building a couple minutes later, Andy turned to her.

"My car is parked way back there, like in the back 40," he chuckled. "It's way out there. Why don't you let me get you here?" She rolled her eyes, and he raised his hands in defense. "I'm not implying you are helpless, but you and I both heard the nurse. Your doc wants you to take it easy. Last thing you need to do is walk all over the place when you had a scare yesterday. Besides that, it's hot for L.A. today, and I know the heat doesn't mix with pregnancy. Give the princess time to chill in there. I'll get the car and be right back. Don't do something stupid and disappear on me." Andy eyed her and started to walk away before she could argue. She wanted to argue it, but in reality, she didn't know what she'd say. He was right, not that she'd admit it. Instead, she dug out her phone and typed out a text to Gavin, so he would know where she was.

"Discharged. I'll be at home. Got a ride from him," she typed. She paused and added more, "The ride was not my idea."

Satisfied with her text, she put her phone away and started to run her hands over her stomach again. She was showing so much now. Everyone at work was staring at her large stomach. She'd worn her best outfit to tell Pope, best in being one that concealed the baby as much as possible. He'd been shocked, and as she had predicted, the rumor mill was going full force by late that afternoon. She'd only told Pope that she was having a baby and getting divorced. He'd eyed her, but there wasn't much he could say. His stunned silence spoke for itself, and she then told him she planned to take her full 12 weeks of maternity leave before returning to work, understanding she was using some of her extended leave time. Most returned after six or eight weeks. She knew that wasn't a wise idea with her age, to come back to work so quickly. She was preparing for complications and hoping she didn't have any. She also didn't want to admit that she wasn't sure she wanted to return to the LAPD. The headache of that, coupled with juggling a newborn wasn't what she wanted this time. She'd started to think about that more and had plans to discuss it with Emily when she visited. Her thoughts were interrupted when Andy pulled up in his car.

Sharon eyed his old car, not that she minded it, but she could hear it before she saw it and noted it sounded like it needed a new muffler. He got out to help her, and she moved to the door by herself.

"Sorry," he said, gesturing to the car like he could read her mind or maybe just saw her irritated expression, "it needs a new muffler. I haven't had time to take it in. Let me get the door. It sticks."

Sharon tried to pull on it, and she found that yes, it did stick. He nodded to her, and she stepped back. He yanked on it, and then she got in the car while he stood there with the door. She looked around, almost expecting to find garbage everywhere, but instead found it clean, but just old. He got in his side and closed the door, turning to her.

"I think you need your money back to buy a new car. I haven't spent a dime. You can have it," she said crisply.

He shook his head, "Nope, I'm fine. I have a car savings account. I'm good. This is a new old car. I replaced my last one that finally died. Look, I mostly drive my work vehicle because I live at work. I don't need much. I'm not interested in having a big car payment, so this is fine for now. Are you embarrassed to be seen in it?"

She scoffed at him and ran her hand on her side. She grimaced when she felt the baby pushing against her side, and she shifted. Andy moved quickly, noting her facial expression.

"Are you in pain? Should we go back inside?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she held up a hand and then instantly dropped it to her side again. The baby was starting to kick harder, and he had shifted too, up into her ribs, and that was driving her crazy. "He's just kicking and shifting. He's way up in my rib cage." As she said that, Andy looked to where her hand was. He could almost see motion with her shirt there and just shook his head.

"Sorry it's painful," he sighed. "I bet princess is hungry. Let's get you something to eat on the way home."

"I don't need food, and it's not a girl!" she exclaimed as Andy pulled away from the hospital. "Why are you stuck on that?"

"Why are you stuck on it being a boy? Maybe I think it's a girl," he shrugged.

"Your opinion doesn't matter," she told him.

"Sure, fine," he shrugged. "If other people at work gave you their opinion, you'd listen. Why am I any different now? I don't understand you," he said as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. "We were having a good time on the road. I let down my guard that you weren't the nasty captain from work. You asked me to your room. Remember that? It's not like I minded that. I was a willing participant each and every time. That's another thing. This between us," he gestured, "happened multiple times. Fine. We talked in the car each day. We were doing fine. I thought we could be civil and have our arrangement. Then, you find out you are pregnant. I even gave you what you wanted there. You asked me to sign over my rights. I did, and I didn't argue. I didn't fight it. I've done what you want. I've stayed away and tried not to interfere. Today, I came to check on you because I was concerned. That's my kid there, and sure," he threw up his hand, "I realize it's not, but I put her there. It doesn't change that I was concerned about both of you. Friends show concern, and you didn't have a long list of people waiting to get into your room. I'm trying to offer you a ride home when you needed one. I'm not asking for more. I'm not pressuring you about the kid. I'm just trying to be a decent guy. Yet, with all this, you still treat me like crap. Is this your real personality? Are you really this cold? Is this what broke up your marriage? I can't figure it out. You want to raise this kid alone, no strings, whatever. I'm still going to see you at work, and I don't deserve the nasty treatment. I first thought you were ticked off I'd ruined your life, your plans, or whatever. I realize your life is forever changed, but you are happy about the baby now. I didn't just do this to you, no. We created her together. It takes two to tango. You and I both know that. I did this with you and would raise her with you even being the crappy father I am, but you don't want that. I get it. If you had wanted to come after me, I would have stepped up to support princess as you wanted, but I did give you what you want. So, tell me, Sharon," he turned to glare at her, "because Sharon is your name, and after we created a human life, I'm going to call you Sharon. What have I still done to you to deserve the cold shoulder all the time?"

She sat there, looking out the window and away from him. He added to his rant after the silence continued, "That's another thing. You are more concerned about your reputation at work than anyone I know. You'd rather the department gossip about princess belonging to your ex-husband, or almost ex-husband, the dirt bag he is, and you are ashamed to just call it like it is. Whatever. I'm not going to spread the story around. Once again, I'm letting you deal with that, but you walk around like you are untouchable. You deal with crappy officers every day, but you're hiding all these secrets yourself, CAPTAIN," he almost spit out her name. He turned into a deli, and finally, she looked at him.

"I just want to go home," she sighed.

"I'm aware," he nodded. "You can sit right there. I'll be right back. I'm going to grab food. You don't have to worry that I'm going to eat with you. I won't, but I need to eat lunch. I left for an early lunch. Provenza has been covering for me. I'm sure Chief would totally flip if she knew any of this, but I do need to eat before I go back to work. I'm going to get a couple salads and some soup. Eat it, don't eat it-I really don't care anymore. Again, I'm a friend, trying to help a friend, even if you continue to treat me badly. I really don't want to argue with you, but I've had it. I'm trying. I've tried, and you want to pretend like I'm some creep who can't get out of your life fast enough."

Andy opened the door and exited the car before she could answer. Sharon wasn't sure she wanted to answer, and she watched him walk toward the deli. She didn't want to address anything he'd said. She just wanted to go home. Why, oh why, did he have to be the father of her baby? She'd dealt with that, at least. He wasn't the father anymore. As she sat, she watched him inside. She saw him order, and then she saw him take a phone call and walk to the side as he spoke on the phone. She was getting tired again, and ironically, the loud muffler sound was almost lulling her to sleep. She closed her eyes, determined to go home and get some rest.

The next thing Sharon knew, she felt someone tapping her. Her eyes flew open, and she looked over to find Andy gently patting her side, right where she could now also feel the baby. When her eyes met his, he pulled his hand back. "Sorry, I was just trying to wake you up. We're at your building. I called your name three times. You didn't hear me. I wasn't trying to startle you or anything."

She shifted in her seat, her neck now in pain from falling asleep as she had. She'd been sleeping hard, so hard she hadn't heard him return to the car, get in, or drive her home. That was slightly alarming that she'd slept that hard. She looked out the window, and they were sitting in front of her building. She grimaced as she felt the pain go up her neck. She reached for it to rub out the pain.

"I'll be glad to walk you upstairs if you want, but I'm also trying to respect your privacy. If you want to get out here, I'll be on my way. I don't prefer that. I would rather make sure you are settled, but your choice," he told her.

She turned to him, almost glad she'd fallen into such a deep sleep. It had kept the two from talking any further on the ride home, "I'll be fine. Thank you for the ride."

"Food too," he reached behind him and pulled up a large bag of food. "Don't forget the food. There's a salad, chicken noodle soup, a couple muffins, and a bowl of fruit. Look, I am sorry I yelled. I didn't come to the hospital to get into it with you. I know you've been stressed, and I don't want to cause more of that. Just take care of yourself and don't climb anything again. Princess needs to get bigger."

She rolled her eyes, but she took the bag of food. As much as she wanted to snap at him again about the 'princess' comment, she let it go, for now, at least. Instead, she opened the door, grabbed her things, and she tried gracefully to climb out of the car. When she was standing, she turned back to shut the door. The muffler was so loud she was almost glad it wouldn't allow them to get into awkward small talk.

"Thank you for the ride and food. He and I will be fine. I'll see you at work in a few days," she nodded and closed the door. She turned and walked to the building, knowing he was sitting there watching her. She knew that because she could hear the muffler as she walked. She didn't turn back. She wouldn't look back because she had to plan for her future.

It wasn't until she was in her condo and hungry, she opened the bag of food to find inside everything Andy had described, along with a note attached to a stack of cash again, "I know you'll keep the first batch of cash for the princess. Use this money to buy yourself some clothing. I know the weight gain is stressing you out, and this is the least I can do since I'm responsible for the big kid." She read the note, horrified as she stared at the crisp bills, neatly stacked. He'd stopped for cash somewhere, and she'd slept through that?


	17. Chapter 17

"Mom, you could have been really hurt," Emily scolded her mom as the two women sat in the living room. Sharon was stretched out on the couch, and Emily was facing her from the chair. She frowned at her mom and shook her head. She eyed Sharon, "Do not get on any more step stools or ladders. Hear me?"

"And, I'm supposed to be the mom," Sharon let out a small chuckle as she put her arm up to her head. "Whew, I'm so hot. Could you please turn down the thermostat for the air conditioner?"

Emily stood and walked to it. She shook her head, "Mom, it's already at 68 degrees. I'm freezing. Can we just admit you're having pregnancy issues here? The baby is just causing you to be all out of whack."

"Yes, in more ways than one," Sharon sighed as she sat up to change positions. She ran her hand along her side.

"Is he kicking again? You aren't in pain, are you?" Emily asked, the fear evident on her face.

"I'm fine," Sharon reached for her hand and clasped it. "I promise. You can feel him here."

Sharon placed Emily's hand on her side, and almost instantly, as if greeting his sister, the baby kicked. Emily grinned at Sharon and sat down next to her on the couch.

"This is amazing. I mean, I can't believe you are having a baby, but wow, this is so surreal. I can't believe there's just skin there, separating a baby from us," she said.

Sharon nodded, "It's a little more than that, but yes, that's the idea. He's getting bigger and bigger."

"You look great, Mom," Emily patted her hand. "You really do."

Sharon frowned, "Hmm, let's see here-I've gained 25 pounds, and that was almost a week ago now. It's Monday, and my last check was in the hospital last Wednesday. I'm sure I've gained more than that now. My hands are swelling. My feet are swelling. I'm starting to feel off balance, as everyone now knows. I've got stretch marks everywhere, and I'm sure there are more I can't see. He's doing flips and determined to break my rib cage. I'm glad you think I look great. I don't feel it."

"Ahh, Mom," Emily gave her a sympathetic smile. "Hearing all that, I'm thinking that having a baby isn't that great. I don't want to go through all of that, so maybe I'll just enjoy my little brother and not worry about my own."

"Bite your tongue!" Sharon exclaimed and looked to her horrified. "I know you are not ready for kids, and I'm not ready to be a grandmother. I also find it odd your brother would be the same age as his niece or nephew, so I'm fine with you waiting. Besides that, I'd like you to find a wonderful man who treats you like a queen, who supports you in your career and life choices, and most importantly, loves you unconditionally. When you find that man, your thoughts may change. I won't push you if you still feel that way, but it can be different when you meet the right man. Yes, not everyone has to have children; I acknowledge that, but knowing you, I just caution you to wait until you meet a wonderful man. You may want to have his baby and raise that child, half you and half him. Look at me now," she gestured, "none of that is the case here, and I'm still thrilled about this baby. It wasn't in my plan, but I couldn't be more excited."

"Mom," Emily teared up and shook her head. She sighed, "Please tell me about the father. I know it was nothing you just described. I know it was an awkward one-night stand, but I'll listen."

Sharon bit her lip and shook her head, "No, it's not important because he's out of the picture completely. He's not going to be named on the birth certificate, and he's signed away his rights. It wasn't just one night, either," she blushed slightly. "We were not in a relationship, but we had been together a few times."

Emily's eyes widened. Sharon hadn't told them that much before, just the basics that the man was not in her life. She paused and then spoke, "So, you were just hooking up, right? How long? I mean, I get you weren't dating, but if this had been going on a long time, Mom, you have to have some feelings there."

Sharon patted her hand, "No feelings. I assure you. We were together a few times over a week or so. That was it. It ended. Now, I'm done discussing this. What should we do on your last day here?"

"Mom, I get it; you hooked up with a guy. It's okay. It happens. I mean," she shrugged, "it's life. I've been there."

Sharon's eyes grew wide, "You've been there? Emily, I know you are a grown adult, but please, I don't want to think of my baby girl going around hooking up with a man, especially knowing what my own life has been like. I'd really like to think you are trying to find the right man for your future. Oh, please, please, tell me you are careful and smart. You don't need to ruin your career right now with something like this," she said and ran her hand over her stomach.

Emily looked away, slightly irritated she couldn't get her mother to open up more about her half sibling. She looked back at Sharon, "Let's just let that topic die. I think we get what the other is saying. Now, you still need clothing, right?"

Sharon rolled her eyes and groaned, noting Emily had dodged anything Sharon had asked about her own life and decided to focus on the question at hand, "I showed you how small even some of my maternity items are! Yes, I do. I hate that I need BIGGER maternity items. It is what it is," she waved her hands. "My little peanut is still in there, and I know it could be much worse. Yes," she nodded. "I need clothing."

"Well, we'll go shopping then. I know you are supposed to rest-"

"I'm fine. I went back to work on Friday. Everyone needs to stop walking on eggshells around me. I am just fine. I'm pregnant, just as millions of other women have been. We can get out. I'm not thrilled about trying on tents for clothing," she sighed, "but I will feel better if I can find a couple of outfits."

"Perfect," Emily nodded to her. "I would like to look at baby things," she winked at her mom.

"It's too early, Emily," Sharon sighed.

"Mom, it's not. His size there," she pointed to Sharon," indicates he's coming sooner than later, whether you like it or not. Now, I've spoken to Ricky, and we are going to buy you something special for the little brother. I'd like you to shop with me, and if you aren't up to it, I guess I'll just pick it out on my own."

Sharon rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Alright," she sighed. "I do realize he's coming. I'm just a bit, maybe superstitious," she told her. "I don't want anything to go wrong. Things have gone well so far. Now, a deal," she grinned at Emily before continuing, "we will shop, but first, let's discuss your college mess."

Emily groaned and dropped her head, "I know. I messed up not tracking that class. I completely realize I should have graduated this month and now am behind by six months. I'm so sorry. I also know I cost you a lot more in tuition because the required class ended up not being offered last semester. I'm going to pay you back, Mom. I've loved everything about going to NYU. It has been the perfect school for me. I think I will be able to get a job dancing in New York when I graduate. I'm so glad you prodded me to go big and apply to my dream school. You've always been there for me, and when it came time to graduate, I let you down. I didn't finish on time, and it's all because I put off a class too long, and then, it wasn't offered. I'm sorry, and I know you don't need money issues with a new baby."

Sharon shook her head, "It's not about the money. I know we've discussed this before, but I just want to make sure whatever you are taking this summer and into the fall semester is going to get you graduated. Are you going to be able to squeeze in that marketing minor?"

Emily sighed and shook her head, "Yes, I'm taking three classes this summer toward it. I have three more in the fall, and I already had two. It's more than enough, but I'm making the most of what is offered after I messed up in January. I'm glad you suggested I check even into the first week of the semester because a lot of people did drop marketing classes that I was able to then get into, especially some of those lower level ones I needed as a prerequisite for ones this fall. You know I'm dancing all the time. I know it messed up my graduation date, but I'm still dancing, and I'm teaching at the dance studio. I've been in contact with several ballet companies, and I realize I miss starting work for their holiday shows, but I promise I've learned my lesson about not thinking or planning ahead. I've talked to my advisor, and I am going to graduate in December with dance and now a minor in marketing. I'm on the right track."

Sharon nodded. This was not the first time the two had discussed Emily's future since she'd messed up with one of her humanities classes required to graduate. Because it was a higher level course, she couldn't take it somewhere else to transfer into the school, and her advisor had checked on a waiver. It didn't happen, and she was eventually told she wouldn't be graduating on time. Emily had realized it and told Sharon the week before the semester started after trying to find a solution that would allow her to graduate on time. She had not found one and had told Sharon after the first of the year. That moved her graduation from spring to winter, and after some discussion back and forth, the two had come up with the plan for Emily to at least get a minor in while she could. She'd taken a couple of marketing classes over her four years at school, and it seemed like a logical choice. Plus, Sharon had pointed out that in the future, Emily might use those classes to market her own ballet studio if she ever owned her own. It wasn't a bad plan, and it was a program she could add as a minor and still graduate in December. Content with Emily's information, Sharon stood, "Well, we all make our mistakes," she nodded as she ran her hand on her side. "I'm proud of you for figuring out the classes you need to finish, and I'm glad you are taking summer school. Things happen for a reason. You are still going to graduate, and I'm one who knows all about not thinking all the time."

Emily stood and walked to Sharon. The two women hugged, and then Emily put her hand on Sharon's stomach. She grinned at Sharon, "It's so cool to feel the baby kicking. I adore him already. He might not have been in your plans, Mom, but he's very much loved."

"Yes, I agree," Sharon nodded, tears in her eyes. "Let's do some shopping for the three of us."

"Sounds like a plan," Emily flashed a smile. "Ricky and I have a few ideas about what to get you."

The two women chatted easily as they drove to the shopping area. Sharon had been to few maternity stores in the area, but she'd only liked the one here at this shopping area. The clothes were her style, if there was a style for an almost middle-aged pregnant woman, but she felt comfortable here at least. It had been embarrassing having to look up maternity stores in the city at her age, but she now felt at ease coming here. At this point, too, there was no hiding that she was, indeed, pregnant.

Sharon parked the car, but before she got out, she turned to Emily and let out a nervous laugh, "I have to admit that I'm nervous about this, but I'm also getting very excited. Emily, I'm about to have a baby!"

"I know, Mom!" Emily grinned happily. She put her hand over on the baby and started to laugh, "The big question is should we start shopping for you or for-what did you call him?" She thought a moment, "Should we start shopping for you or the peanut?"

Sharon put her hand over Emily's hand and squeezed it. She felt a tear rolling down her face and let out another nervous laugh before she spoke, "Well, I suppose since babies don't come with anything, we should start shopping for him. He's going to need everything, and I need to accept that in a few short months, I am going to have a healthy newborn."

"Let's get shopping," Emily leaned over and kissed her mother on her cheek. "You've always put your kids first, Mom," she smiled. An hour later, the two were almost stunned as they continued to walk around the store. Sharon had not been prepared for the variety of items. It wasn't that there were just a lot of choices, but there were also so many new things she hadn't had with either of the other two kids. Sure, things like cribs, strollers, high chairs, diapers, and bottles were things she'd had with Emily and Ricky, but now, there were many new contraptions. There were choices everywhere; she could go with different color schemes, manufacturers, and luxury items. Aside from a few basics, the two hadn't decided on anything yet.

"I think I need to research all of this," she gestured around the store. Emily hummed and just nodded.

"Where do you even start, Mom? I mean, just look at the strollers," she gestured. "There are all different kinds-big, small, running, fold up. What do you need?"

Sharon nodded in agreement, "I need a car seat to start. I know that much, and I'll need a stroller for it. I don't want to go completely crazy. I don't need a lot of this to start. I will need some basics. Can we," she looked around the store and let out her breath, "can we first use the restroom?" Sharon laughed as she ran her hand over her stomach. "After that, let's just start with diapers. That's basic enough for me, and I know I will need that right away too."

The two regrouped in the diapers a few minutes later, and Sharon relaxed when she recognized her favorite brand, still around after 20 years. She pointed out the sizing to Emily, and they started to put diapers and wipes into the cart. As Sharon studied the different sizes, Emily tried to prod her mom for more information.

"So, Mom, I really would like you to tell me about the baby's dad. I mean, I get you did the legal paperwork to get this guy out of your life, but we are worried about you. Ricky, Dad, and I know you, and all of this is so out of character. I support you, no matter what. Ricky does too, but Mom, please tell me about this guy. You were married to Dad so long, and I get he trashed that, but having one night, or as you said, several nights with some guy, and then you refuse to talk about it, I don't get it."

Sharon put down the diapers and turned to Emily. She crossed her arms over her growing baby bump and took a deep breath while she shook her head, "I don't know why his identity is so important. He's gone from all this. The baby won't know him."

"Exactly!" Emily exclaimed. "Don't you think he will ask questions at some point about his dad? What are you going to tell him?" Sharon started to speak, but she turned away, not sure what to say. Emily continued, "Mom, Ricky, Dad, and I have our suspicions. Is this guy like really young, like my age or something? Is that why you are so secretive? It's all that we can figure with everything. Were you like a cougar? Did you have a mid-life crisis with a younger, super hot guy, and now you are just embarrassed to tell us?"

Sharon slapped her hand on the self and turned back to Emily, her face now red; she was fuming. She shook her head and then began to speak, "First, I do not know why you are discussing this with your dad. We are divorcing. This is not his concern, mainly because he left me years ago and hasn't been concerned about me since then. I sat by for years while he slept around, and yes, I've kept quiet on that with you and Ricky. I didn't trash your dad in front of you because I always wanted you to have a decent relationship with your dad; I still do. Second, I'm not a cougar as you want to coin me. It wasn't like that at all. He is about my age, and that's what you need to know. I'm not proud of what I did, but it is what it is. I'm not dragging him into this because he's no longer part of this."

"Mom, it's just so out of character for you! I mean, I get it you need to move on, but I didn't envision you sleeping around with a random guy. I guess I thought of my mom as dating someone first, not playing the field. I probably don't make sense, and you might just say this is a daughter trying to have an image of her mom, but" she sighed and looked to the floor.

Sharon pursed her lips, "I think you need to realize I'm a woman too. Things with your dad did not go well from early on. I've been alone for so long, and Jack ruined a lot of our marriage by sleeping around. I was the steady one. You and Ricky know that. Finally, I'd had enough. I wanted to live a little myself. Emily, this isn't the first man I have been with since your father."

Emily's eyes widened. Sharon looked around, grateful no one else seemed to be obsessed with hanging around the diaper aisle. The diapers were in the back corner of the store, and that was helping them too. Emily gestured toward Sharon, "Wait, there have been other men? How many? Were guys spending the night when I was a kid?"

"Nothing like that," Sharon said quietly. "I stayed home, working and taking care of you two for a long time. You know I got that legal separation a long time ago too. Nothing happened until just a couple years ago."

Emily shook her head, "Okay, so how many? I don't know what to ask, really."

"Are we really going to discuss this in the diaper aisle?" Sharon sighed.

Emily shrugged, "I don't have a problem with it. I'd like to know since you decided to share what you have been doing. We're both adults."

Sharon started to run her hand over her stomach again and nodded to Emily. She looked up and then back at Emily, "There have been three men besides your father. I've only told all of this to Gavin. I'm sure you will speak to Ricky and your father, but this, these details," she gestured between them, "I hope you can keep between us. You are a grown woman, and I'm speaking to you as one."

"Okay," Emily said slowly and nodded. "I talk to Ricky and Dad about a lot, but I won't bring this up with them. I understand that you are confiding in me."

Sharon took a deep breath, "I didn't go into this thinking I was looking for a man. It was two years ago that I was with Gavin at a charity event. You know he always used to take me along as his plus one. We were having a great time, and some man I'd not met started talking to me that evening. He was funny and charming. He made me laugh, and I hadn't had those feelings for years. Your dad stopped paying attention to me very early on in our marriage. Anyway," Sharon shrugged and continued, "nothing happened that night. He even wanted my phone number, but I didn't give it to him. I was married, even though legally separated, and I told myself I needed to honor that. He persisted. It wasn't hard for him to find me through work, and he basically said he would leave me alone if we could just get together for a drink. So, we did. I met him for a drink, and even that night, that was it. I did give him my number, or permission to call me as he'd obtained my number already, and then, he started calling. Finally, I did agree to go to dinner with him. He was a big executive, and I didn't see the harm in it because our professional paths did not cross. One dinner led to a second. The first was nice; it was enjoyable. He didn't even kiss me that first night. I think he could tell I was nervous. The second time we went to dinner, we ended up kissing in his car for almost an hour," she said as she looked to the floor, the memory one she didn't want to express to Emily. "I felt like a teenager. The third time we went out, he asked if I wanted to come back to his condo. We slept together that night. It just," she sighed. "It just felt freeing after years and years of a bad marriage. The next morning, I felt like I had this secret, and I liked that at the time. It was almost addictive, going out with this charming man. All of that continued for a month. We were together often, sometimes even during lunch or in the middle of the day, but it was often. One night, we were together, and he got a phone call. It was his wife," Sharon said in a low whisper as she let out a deflated sigh. "I had no idea he was married. She was calling to tell him their toddler son had split his lip open and needed stitches. I was mortified. He was married with a family, and I never knew. His excuse was that I was legally separated, and he didn't think his being married would be a big deal. I pointed out he hid it from me, and he tried to even suggest that we continue. The condo," she rolled her eyes, "oh, it was his, but he'd apparently told his wife he slept in the city during the week because of his very long hours and would then go home to her, north of the city on the weekends. He wanted to continue, and he wanted me to be his city fling. I ended it immediately, and I left so disgusted with myself. I know it's odd to understand because I was still married too, but your dad had left years ago, and I had gotten legally separated. I am not trying to justify it, but that's how I saw it. I was upfront with him, but he wasn't. I was stupid."

"Mom, he lied to you. That's not your fault. You didn't know," Emily gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I know," Sharon smiled back at her, "but it doesn't change what I did was inappropriate. I finally told Gavin about it all. After that first night at the benefit, I kept Gavin out of it, not sure what I wanted to do with this man, and when it ended, I finally told Gavin. I told him I was embarrassed and ashamed, that I had been stupid to think I could live a little. He suggested I just had found the wrong person, that he'd not seen me so alive in a long time. That's when I decided to just, ahh, make a better selection, maybe? I decided to put more effort into finding the right man. I realized I wasn't looking for romance, and maybe I had been at first with the fancy dinners and all. I realized I just wanted to be with a man, to feel sexy and alive. Your dad wasn't coming back, and I felt like I wanted to enjoy life. So, I took time to regroup and think. I took to to really analyze what I wanted."

"And?" Emily asked.

Sharon grimaced, "The second man was not the right one, and I realized that right away, after the first time we slept together. He was one of the parents from school. His son was in the class below Ricky's class, and he was a widower. That seemed like a safe choice. I knew he didn't have a wife waiting at home, and like me, he had grown children, or almost grown children. We got to talking at one of Ricky's baseball games. His son didn't play baseball, but he was running the concession stand, a very involved parent. Again, I am hoping the particulars will not get back to Ricky. I realize your school wasn't that big. Anyway," Sharon sighed, "I started seeing him at the games. We would talk, and he would make me laugh. That's something I suppose I crave; I love to laugh. Finally, I just flat out asked him if he would like to come over for dinner one night, and we picked a night the boys were at a school function. He was as ready as I was," Sharon rolled her eyes and dropped her head. "We had a glass of wine before dinner, and we talked. You have to remember that we'd been talking at all the games, so this wasn't some complete stranger. He asked about your dad, and he told me about his wife. His story was sad; she'd died a couple years before all of this. We started to kiss, and as I said, we were both very willing. Dinner was forgotten, and we spent the evening together. I had to watch the time because Ricky was still living at home, so I sent him off that night when we had finished. I didn't bank on him becoming attached to me so quickly. He became a clinger, wanting to call me and see me all the time. We just had different expectations, and I realized I was not upfront about that. I didn't want a relationship. He did. That was my second mistake, and it took almost two weeks to get rid of him. We had one night together, and after that, he was telling me he felt like we could have a future, that no one had made him feel this alive since his wife. It was just too much. I ended that, not that I had planned to start anything, and I went back to Gavin for advice. Gavin continued to urge me to find another man. I was pretty much done with the idea."

"What about the third guy, the baby's father?" Emily asked.

"I'm not going to go into our history, but with him, I was very different. I knew him prior to our arrangement, so I knew he wasn't married. I knew of his reputation, and I definitely knew he wasn't looking for a long-term relationship. I knew he had slept around with other women. I knew he could be what I wanted and when I wanted it. I was upfront with him. I told him what I wanted, at least my expectations. He was fine with it, and the time and place just fit. It became an almost business arrangement, that is, until it wasn't. He started to get too close. I could tell it was getting to be too much; emotions started to creep into things. He wanted to spend the night, and I wanted to let him. I never did, though, because I knew it had to end it. Our arrangement had to be something we walked away from each time. I felt him getting too close, and I had to make sure he stayed away."

"Mom," Emily sighed, her face in turmoil, "this is so sad. I mean, you have had a horrible marriage to Dad. Don't you think he's ruined your thoughts on men and love? You always tell me to wait for the right man, one willing to do anything for me. Dad didn't, and from what you are telling me, you have gone so far to the other end, you are basically coming up with arrangements and terms for guys?"

"I came up with my set of terms after getting burned by your dad, the corporate executive, and the dad from school. My arrangement with this last man was working fine until it wasn't. I ended things, or I tried. I sent him away the last time because it got to be too much. I could tell I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay the night, but I couldn't. I could tell he wanted more, but it couldn't happen. That wasn't the plan. I know I've kept him at a distance and even been rude to him, but I've just been protecting myself," Sharon gave her a small nod.

"So, why did you want him to sign the papers? Why can't he be around at least for the baby?" Emily asked.

"I've had too many men in my life disappoint me. Your dad was a lousy father. I'm saying it now because you are an adult and have told me the same. I'm not disagreeing. I wanted him to be a good dad, but he wasn't. I got burned. Men continue to burn bridges with me. I don't want this for the baby. I want to give him the best I can, and it's my belief that it is best he not have any interaction with his father," Sharon stated, as if she'd rehearsed it.

Emily eyed her, "Better for the baby or you? Do you want to avoid his being in your life? It sounds like he got to you, Mom, that he got too close, that you started to care, and then, you turned away from him."

Sharon shook her head, "I'm sticking with my decision. It is best for the baby. I've always done what is best for my children. I'm drained after telling you all of that. I'd like to finish shopping and get something to eat. I hope you have some understanding of me, that I'm a woman and just wanted to live a little. I seem to continue to make bad choices. The first man was married, the second was too clingy, and the third has me here with a pregnancy. Granted, I was a willing participant, but boy, do I know how to pick them," she groaned.

"I appreciate you sharing that, Mom," Emily looked around. There had been a couple of people wander around the aisle where they were, but no one had stayed around long enough to listen to their conversation. Sharon looked to the cart.

"Let's finish here for today. I need to research some of the bigger items at home. I'd also like to talk to you about some of my plans for the future," she told Emily.

Emily eyed her, "Plans? What plans? I'm good with the idea of going home, but before we do, I still need to pick out just the right gift from Ricky and me."

Sharon groaned, "You don't have to do that today."

"Oh, yes, I do," Emily nodded. "I won't be home the rest of the summer. My newest sibling needs everything, and I'm going to find him something that will always remind him of his family."


	18. Chapter 18

Sharon was running late for work, and she hated being late. She finished in the bathroom and stepped out into the hallway. Before she started down the hall, she glanced into her spare bedroom and scowled at the sight. Emily had bought the dumbest thing for the baby, and there was no way Sharon could hide it or take it back. She looked at the silly large stuffed animal ape sitting on the floor staring back at her. Sharon had no idea why Emily had found it to be so "perfect" or so funny, but there had been no talking her out of getting the large toy. It wasn't even the toy that got to Sharon, but the name. The stupid thing had a tag on it with its name, "Hi, I'm Andy the Ape." Emily had started laughing at that and had laughed for the next hour in the store after their little chat in the diaper aisle. Sharon was sure the animal was at first, an attempt at a distraction, an attempt at something funny after their long heart to heart, but of course, Emily had no idea the symbolism of the name. The ape had started as a talking point and had ended with a place in Sharon's condo. Sharon shook her head at the toy and started down the hall to get going to work.

As she moved down the hall and waited for her elevator, her mind wandered back to the dumb ape sitting in her condo. Emily had been in a silly mood after their chat. Sharon knew her daughter, and her daughter felt like she should cheer up Sharon. She'd even sent a picture of the ape to Ricky to get his approval, and because Ricky had grown up with a small monkey toy he'd adored, he'd agreed the ape was needed for his new sibling. So, without giving away the reason for her annoyance, Sharon had relented, and the ape had found its way to its new home. The toy was huge, the size of a kid's large dollhouse. Andy the Ape was in her life to stay, but thankfully, the other Andy was not.

Sharon's drive to work was rather quiet. She thought a lot about her visit with Emily. The two had enjoyed their time together, even with the tension surrounding the baby and his paternity. In a way, Sharon was relieved she'd told Emily more about the situation. She still didn't want her kids knowing about Andy, his name or anything else, but she at least felt like Emily had an understanding of what had been going on in Sharon's life. In addition to Andy the Ape, Emily had purchased a carrier for Sharon, one that she could wear the baby in while at home or out running errands. It had been the perfect gift because, as a baby, Emily had cried anytime Sharon had put her down. Ricky had been content to be put in his crib or swing, but not Emily. Sharon was really hoping this baby would be more like Ricky since things were similar in her pregnancy, but that was yet to be seen. Still, it was a great gift because as a single mother, she would need to take care of anything and everything at home alone. She could wear the baby in the condo and around town. It was also something she was looking forward to using on walks. That had been the first real baby purchase, and Sharon wasn't quite ready to make another purchase. Her superstitions about buying baby items were slowly starting to subside, but she hadn't researched the gear enough yet to make more purchases. She had a lot of research to do, and she planned to start that in the next week or so. She was hesitant to buy too much because she was really thinking about her future and where that might take her. She'd discussed those ideas with Emily too.

For the past few weeks, Sharon had been seriously thinking about retirement. She'd even started to search online for teaching jobs out of Los Angeles in criminal justice. It was a thought she'd had for years and had even discussed with Andy on their road trip. She could retire now, but had originally planned to retire when Ricky finished college. It wasn't that she had to work that long, but it had seemed like a good idea. She had started to set herself up for just that by downsizing the family home last summer to her condo where she hadn't even been living a full year now. Of course, back then, a baby hadn't been in her plans, but as with most anything, plans change. Now, she just wanted to get out of Los Angeles. She had already raised two kids here working as a police officer. She didn't want to do it again. People did it every single day; she knew that, but for this chapter of her life, she wanted to slow down and really do something different in life. Yes, criminal justice wasn't that different, but she had been thinking about teaching for a long time. The schedule would work better with a baby, and it would allow her to focus on young people starting their lives and not people who had destroyed their lives by committing various crimes. Emily understood a lot of Sharon's concerns, but she worried Sharon would regret doing anything too quickly. Sharon was certain she wouldn't regret a move. Getting out of Los Angeles would get her away from Andy too, and that was something she really wanted to do. She wanted to take the baby and start over somewhere fresh, somewhere people didn't know about her job, about Jack, or about the origin of the baby, not that many did anyway. Staying in Los Angeles was a gamble. She was certain Andy would always be lurking, and she didn't want that. She wanted to almost reinvent herself.

Another aspect of her moving plan involved her parents. They weren't getting any younger; she knew that. Sharon really didn't want to settle back in the Phoenix area where she'd grown up, but she had thought about other areas of Arizona, places that would be only a short drive from her parents. Los Angeles wasn't terribly far, but it was too far to easily check on them. So, Sharon explained to Emily she was going to focus on the Flagstaff and Tucson areas because they had colleges and might be places Sharon would consider moving. Flagstaff was particularly appealing because of the terrain; it had a more moderate climate because of the altitude, and it reminded her a little of Park City with the snowfall in the winter. As predicated, Emily had been surprised but had understood Sharon's desire to move. She'd had a lot of questions, most of which Sharon couldn't answer yet. The condo question was one Sharon could answer. She hadn't owned it long, and she'd thought about that already too. Sharon knew she could rent the place easily and believed when and if the time came, she would do that. In turn, she had thought about anywhere she moved she could also rent for the time being, at least until she got settled and was certain of her new life. That plan still left a connection to Los Angeles if she ever wanted to return. She was certain she wouldn't look back; she wanted to move on and start a new life.

Now, situated in her car and well into her drive, she started to grin as she felt the peanut waking up. He was active now, kicking her. She let out a low chuckle thinking he must just like riding in the car. She'd already been out once today, just before 4:00 AM to take Emily to the airport. She had the early flight back to New York, and Sharon had driven her there. The peanut had been very active then, too, and Emily claimed it was for her benefit. She'd kept her hand on Sharon's stomach for much of the drive as she enjoyed feeling her brother kick. Sharon had gone back home after the airport, and she could tell the peanut had gone back to sleep. He'd awakened when she'd had some breakfast, and now, it appeared, he was awake again. She loved the feeling. She loved this baby and was getting more and more excited about his arrival.

Sharon sighed as she glanced at the clock in her car. Her own arrival at work was going to be later than she wanted. She wasn't actually late, but she had planned to arrive early to get some work done. After the long weekend, she knew she had a stack of paperwork to go through and sign. With Emily's early flight, she was hoping to get an early start, but that hadn't happened. Sharon knew she'd spent too much time daydreaming at home over breakfast, thinking of the baby.

Her thoughts of the baby consumed her drive to work. It was such a relief Andy had signed the paperwork. She knew that he'd given her what she wanted and knew she'd not treated him well over the last several weeks. That had been her defensive mode talking, and while she had no plan to apologize to him for her behavior, she realized she could be kinder to him. He had been right about one thing; the two needed to get along at work. She owed him that much. She knew she couldn't promise anything, but she was going to make more of an effort to be civil at work.

It didn't take her too long to get to work. It was still early, even if she was felt she was running late. She glanced around and saw the parking garage only halfway full. Hopefully, she would get a decent amount of work done before the rest of her team arrived. Sharon waited for the elevator and turned when she heard others walking up to wait as well. She groaned to herself when she saw Provenza joining her at the elevator. Provenza was always early to work. Everyone in the LAPD knew that.

"Morning, Lieutenant," she gave him a polite nod and quick greeting.

"Captain," he nodded to her. Two others stood there waiting for the elevator, and everyone gave each other a quick nod. Sharon went into protective mode, something she'd started to notice she did when she felt people looking at her stomach. She started to run her hand on her side, almost to try and cover the view. She snapped her head toward Provenza when he spoke again, "Little one is growing," he stated.

"Yes," she cleared her throat. "That's the thing about pregnancy. The baby keeps growing, causing a lot of inconveniences to the mother, work clothing being a big one."

"How far along now, Captain?" Provenza asked as the group stepped onto the elevator.

"Six months now," she said and stepped to the back corner of the elevator. He nodded and stood at the back near her while the other officers stood toward the front. The conversation stopped as the elevator moved. She watched the numbers climb, hoping she wouldn't be left alone with just Provenza. There was something a bit nerve wracking about the man knowing all the details of her current situation. Her luck didn't hold. One officer got off on the second floor, and then one got off on the third floor, leaving Sharon with Provenza. He continued to stare straight ahead, and she did the same. She let out a sigh of relief when the elevator stopped on Provenza's floor. As he stepped off, he turned back to her, "Glad to see things are okay so far with the princess, Captain," he said, his face void of emotion. Sharon wanted to say something, but he moved away before she could. That man. He'd spoken to Andy, or rather, Andy had told him everything, even to include the disagreement over the baby's gender.

As she waited for the elevator to climb to her floor, her mind briefly wandered to Andy. She couldn't help it, but she hoped the thoughts would fade after the baby was born, and she could get out of the city. She knew she was kidding herself because, yes, even though he'd signed away his parental rights, she KNEW he was the father and would think of him from time to time. She just hoped she didn't think of him each time she looked at the baby. She didn't think of Jack each time she looked at her kids, so she hoped the thoughts would fade. She shook herself out of her thoughts as she realized she was about to miss her floor. The elevator doors were open, and she was still standing in the elevator. She shook off her thoughts, ran her hands over the peanut again, and she stepped onto her floor. A new week was beginning.


	19. Chapter 19

"Care to explain to me why we have that idiot Reynolds today from FID and not your baby momma?" Provenza glanced over to Andy who happened to be driving the car. The men were going back to interview a suspect, and FID had been called in on the case after a police brutality report was filed against the first patrol cops on the scene. Andy and Provenza had volunteered to go check on another witness, leaving the chief to deal with FID.

Andy gave him an irritated look, "I don't know, Provenza. I am not her keeper, not at all. Besides, remember, I'm not the father. That was dealt with long ago."

Provenza scowled at him, "I still don't get that. I mean, sure it sounded great, and I know I even told you that it was like a 'Get out of Jail Free' card, but honestly, Flynn, have you considered what that really means?"

"I have," Andy nodded. "Look, it's what Sharon wanted. I did as she asked."

"You have let her call the shots the whole time! You did what you wanted when you did her! She clearly wears the pants, and you've let her call all the shots." Provenza yelled. "That woman, and don't keep calling her Sharon because each time you do I get this awful visual, but THE CAPTAIN has held the reigns on all of this. It's still your kid, Flynn, no matter what a piece of paper says. You created the kid. You are telling me you are really going to be okay seeing Raydor with that kid in the building? As the kid grows, you'll be okay seeing him or her? I just don't know if you realize it, what you have agreed to do. Yeah, it sounds great. I know that, but even looking at my kids, I HATE, and I mean HATE all my ex-wives. I wouldn't trade anything, though, because-I'll deny this if you say it-I do love my kids, every single one of them, no matter how crazy his or her mom was. I love them, and I can't imagine walking away from them."

"Yeah, I'll deal with it. I already am. It's her baby, and while it is a piece of paper as you said, it's still a legal document. I mean, she could make me stay away with something crazy like a restraining order, so that's why I'm not trying to hover or ask more. It works. She's the one pregnant, going to the appointments, having her body change and all. I did that to her, and yeah, I know, we were willing participants, but it will be okay. I mean, the difference here with what you are saying is that even at one point, you were married to and in love with your kids' mothers. I am not. I wasn't even dating Sharon. We slept together a few times, and we created a kid. That kid will get a mom, and I'm okay with that because the kid won't get me for a lousy father."

Provenza eyed him again, "Well, where is she? Your little princess isn't supposed to be born yet, is she? The captain isn't in labor?"

"Nah," Andy shook his head. "She's not due until September. She's still got all summer, and trust me," he shook his head and continued, "anytime I see her in the building, she throws these looks at me, like daggers, those type of looks like you did this to me. I'm well aware. Kid is huge. She's huge-and if you tell her I said that," he smirked, "I'll deny it too. I feel badly the pregnancy is wearing on her so much, but like I said, she doesn't want my help."

"I know," Provenza added. "Guilt by association. She gives me very similar looks. I make sure to throw in your princess comment when I can, and that just ticks her off even more. So, what is she now-last I remember, she said six months?"

"Yeah," Andy nodded. "It's June 15, so just over six months. She's due somewhere around September 15, but she said the doc told her that might change with her age and health as it gets closer. I saw her about a week ago now," he paused to think. What is today? It's Thursday, so yeah, I saw her last Friday I think. I swear she looks like she's growing out of more maternity things, and for her sake, I do hope she has the kid earlier because she's already having trouble just walking with that much weight. I feel bad because she told me her other two kids had been really small, but Nic and Nate were huge at birth. Knowing her, she'll be irritated about buying more clothing."

"More, as in you know all about the clothing she's already bought? For not being the baby daddy as you claim, you seem to know a lot, Flynn," Provenza pointed out to him.

Andy shrugged, "I have tried to be a decent guy, Provenza. You know me."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at Andy driving, "What did you do? I know that tone."

"Nothing! I mean, aside from knocking up a police captain, what would you like me to say?" Andy yelled in defense. "I'm trying to be a good guy."

"No," he shook his head. "You did something. Fess up. Oh, did you tell your kids?"

"No! I'm not telling them! What would I say? Kids, I knocked up the captain on a work trip, which is probably breaking a regulation or two if I really looked. I signed away being a dad because I'm already a crappy one, but don't worry, because I made sure she has money for your half-brother or half-sister."

"Money!" Provenza's eyes widened and he looked to Andy, who then, realized what he'd said. Andy put his hand up to the side of his face, but kept his eyes on the road. "You gave her money? You aren't required to give her anything."

"Yeah, okay? I gave her money. I've now told you every detail. I didn't want to hear it from you, so I didn't tell you that," he sighed.

Provenza shook his head, "I told her you were a decent guy, but this," he shook his head again. "How much did you give her?"

"$10,000, and then I gave her another $500 to help with her clothing. From the looks of it, she needs more clothing," he sighed.

"Did she ask you?" he asked. "Flynn, that's A LOT of money!"

"No, the opposite, and she said she didn't want the money. I wanted my kid to have a decent start. It was my stipulation before signing the papers. I told her she could donate it to the church as far as I was concerned. I'm not discussing it. I gave her the money, and at least, I feel better about it."

"You paid her money after sleeping with her. Smooth, Flynn," Provenza grumbled. "Idiot!"

"It's not like that! Sure, I can see how it looks, but I gave her money for the kid. It wasn't like I paid her when we were done or something. Come on, Provenza! I never have to acknowledge my kid, but whatever. I'm okay."

"Sure, you are," he sighed. "Where is she, though? I don't know if I can deal with her detectives on this case. We've been seeing more and more of her department lately, and I don't like it."

"I don't know," Andy shrugged. "Maybe she had a doctor's appointment. I'm not her keeper."

"No," Provenza stated. "I asked the idiot, and he said she has been out since Tuesday afternoon. Something is going on with her."

"I don't know what you want me to do, Provenza. You tell me to stay away, and I have been. I mean, yeah, she's pregnant with my kid, but I'm staying away. I had a date last weekend, and I have another this weekend. I'm moving on just fine, just like she told me to do."

"Please, you have to reassure me your little indiscretion is a one-time thing? Please tell me you aren't going to go and get one of your dates pregnant now too? I never worried about that with the girls we'd date, but after the captain, you have me all paranoid," Provenza scowled.

"I'm taking precautions, trust me. That's not happening again," Andy groaned. "I am not focused on Sharon. I'm dating and trying to give her space. That is what she wants. I suppose if she needed something and actually had the courage to ask, I'd help, but she won't."

"Just make sure your kid isn't creating a health issue for her. As much as I don't like her, she's the only intelligent one in her division, and I can't stand working with the idiots we've gotten. I do have to say at least she's staying professional. You two had your week of passion, and I thought she'd take that out on our division. She might hate your guts, but at least, she's professional at work. Just see why she's not here," he snapped at Andy.

"Fine," Andy raised a hand in defense. "I'll check on her when we get done with this witness. I haven't asked about the princess in awhile anyway," he grinned. "Let's talk about something else. Oh, that memo today from the chief about that mandatory training," Andy noted. "I didn't look yet at the list, but are you going with me to the session in a couple weeks?"

"No," Provenza frowned. "Chief said she wouldn't let us go together anymore after we sat in the back and laughed last year. That got back to her."

"Oh," Andy rolled his eyes. "So, I'm going to the training in two weeks?"

"Yes, and I'm going in September. They have changed the format after all the feedback. It's just a one-day seminar now, one long day, but it's one day, instead of two."

"Well, that's a relief, but wait," he turned quickly and back to the road, "like 8-5?"

"Oh yeah," Provenza nodded. "They changed it from 9-1 each day and are now at 8-5 for one day."

Andy groaned and shook his head, "That's longer, then."

"They claim it's not because of lunch, but I guarantee it will be longer. The morning presenter will most likely run late, we'll get 15 minutes for lunch, and you know the afternoon presenter will run over too. Let's not forget the training is scheduled for July 3, so congratulations on such a great start to your holiday."

"Unbelievable," Andy sighed. "Who is going with me, then?"

"Tao and Julio," Provenza stated. "I'm going with Gabriel. I'm not sure when the rest of department is going. Chief keeps trying to get out of it, but I don't think even His Holiness can get her out of that. At least we are off for the holiday this July. We often get stuck with a murder."

"Great, just great," he sighed. "That means you and the rest of the team will go home around 3:00, while I will be stuck in that seminar with Julio and Mike. Whatever, it's not like I'm doing anything. Kids aren't going to be around either. Hey, we're almost here, so let's go over what we need for the case," Andy stated.

A couple hours later, after Andy and Provenza had talked to their suspect and driven back to work, Andy had a moment and decided to check on Sharon. He didn't want to admit that it was a bit alarming Sharon wasn't at work and hadn't been in a few days. He stepped into an empty room to call her before going back into the office. He'd told Provenza he wanted to use the restroom. It had seemed easier than explaining to Provenza that he couldn't stop thinking Sharon and the princess since the two had discussed them on their drive.

Instead of getting her, he got her voicemail, "Sharon, it's me. We're stuck with one of your goons today, and I'm checking on you and the princess. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Let me know, please." He hung up and thought a moment. She was probably fine and had probably gone to see one of her kids. He didn't expect her to check in with him. They weren't together, but it would be nice to know if she and the kid were okay. As he walked and pondered that, he realized that he was going to have to get used to the idea that he had no business knowing about the kid. The issue was out of his hands, just as he and Provenza had discussed. He let out a sigh and shook his head in almost defeat. The kid wasn't his concern anymore. It was the reality. As much as he wanted, though, it didn't stop him from being concerned right now. It would be just his luck his kid was causing trouble for Sharon just as he had over the years. Yeah, he wanted her to call. He wanted to make sure the two of them were okay. It was the just something he needed to do.


	20. Chapter 20

"Morning, Sir," Julio looked up at Andy as he started to sit down for their workshop. It was July 3 now, and this was the last place most of the people in the room wanted to be, but here they were. Andy nodded as he put his cup of coffee on the table and looked over at Gabriel.

"No offense, Gabriel, but I thought Mike was in this class with Julio and me," he commented, a questioning look on his face.

"Yeah, he was, that is until Chief got out of this by throwing me under the bus. I'm here to take notes for her, and sure, I get the course done too. She came up with some reason she couldn't go to either of the next classes, and anyway, I am not sure I understand it, but she sent me today and must do some abbreviated part of it next week with the notes I send, something about still taking the end of class little test with the notes I have. I try not to ask," he threw up his hands.

Andy chuckled, "Yeah, well, it's Chief. She seems to talk her way out of a lot and get her way. It's working for her. What's going on?" Andy sat and tried to get comfortable.

"Well, Sir, I was just daring Gabriel here, and he wasn't taking me up on the offer," Julio smirked.

"It's not that good of an offer, a free lunch. Nope, I'm fine right here," he nodded.

"What's the bet or dare, whatever you are debating?" Andy asked as he sipped his coffee.

Julio grinned, "I told Gabriel if he went over there and sat next to the captain all day, I'd buy him lunch tomorrow. She's over there in the corner, and it's like she has a disease or something. No one wants to sit near her."

"And, I told him that wasn't that great of a deal. I don't want to make small talk with her all day. Sure, I can get through a few minutes at work, but we're talking like nine hours, maybe more if the speakers run late. Lunch tomorrow isn't worth it. I'll buy my own lunch," he nodded.

Andy glanced to where the men were looking and sure enough, Sharon was seated across the room by an exit. He hadn't noticed her when he'd walked in, but he wasn't exactly looking for her. He hadn't spoken to her in a couple weeks, not since she returned his phone call with a simple text that said, "I'm in Arizona with my parents. Nothing is wrong." He'd left that alone, as he could tell she didn't want to discuss it more. Apparently, her idiots didn't have that information or just didn't realize that by not knowing where she was or not saying where she was, it was a bit alarming for a-then six-and-a-half-month pregnant woman. Now, she was around seven months by his quick calculation, and by the way she was sitting, he cringed, noting she looked uncomfortable and very pregnant.

"I'll take the bet," Andy nodded and stood. He looked to the men, both of whom were now staring at him, their faces clearly surprised.

"Sir?" Julio looked up at him as Andy continued to look toward her while he took a swig of his coffee. He glanced back at both men and nodded.

"I'll take the bet, but," he held up his hand with a stipulation. "I'm calling lunch today. Now, you'll argue I'll move after lunch. I won't, and you can tell the captain this little plan if I do, but lunch today, and you have to get lunch for the captain too. Just look at her," he glanced. "I'm sure the last thing she wants to do is get out in this heat and find something to eat. Just get both of us a salad or something. I really don't care. You know what I like I'm sure she will eat anything you get. Get a muffin or whatever for her too. I'm sure the kid keeps her hungry."

"Wait, you are going to willingly go sit with her all day? Why?" Gabriel asked.

Andy rolled his eyes and shrugged, "It's no skin off my back. Whatever. I'll see if I can get her to laugh. You two can watch all day. I already got stuck with her back at Christmas on that case. Free lunch sounds nice," he smirked.

"Free lunch, you and the captain," Julio repeated and nodded.

"Yup," Andy took the last sip of his coffee and moved from the table. "I'd better go. This class will be starting soon. There's two of you," he gestured to each of them. "One gets my lunch, and one of you can get hers. Easy. Have a good morning," he flashed a grin and walked toward Sharon. The guys were right; no one wanted to sit near her. She just had that reputation in the building. As the officers were filing in, two were now sitting at the end of Sharon's row, but otherwise, it was empty. She was on the end, and there were five seats between her and the other officers now. He walked over, made his way into the aisle, and he put his phone down next to her. The room was set up as a large classroom would be with stadium seating, chairs and tables in each row. She looked up, as she had been reading through a stack of paperwork.

"You know," he smirked and continued, "this class is a break from work, annoying as it is. You aren't supposed to bring work to the class for the day."

"Are you in here all day too?" she sighed, looking up at him, slightly annoyed.

Andy pulled out the chair and sat down, looking over at her, "Nah, I just like to wander around this place when I'm supposed to be hard at work protecting the citizens of Los Angeles. Of course, I'm in the class today," he rolled his eyes.

"You always get snarky," she snipped and looked back at her paperwork.

"Part of my charm," he flashed a grin. He turned back toward Julio and Gabriel, who were sitting in the back row of the auditorium and waved. Sharon saw him do that out of the corner of her eye. Two more people sat down in their row, and Andy nodded to them.

"You can go and rejoin your group over there," she hummed. "I am well aware no one in this room wants to sit next to me," she stated and signed another form.

Andy leaned toward her slightly, but made sure it was still a respectable distance, mostly for the benefit of the guys watching him and said, "Oh, I'm here all day. See, my team had a bet going. Be lucky it's me because Julio started out by daring Gabriel to sit here all day. He wasn't interested, but obviously, I jumped at the chance to sit next to you and the princess."

Sharon kept her head bent toward the paperwork, but she tilted her head and rolled her eyes at him. She sighed, "Look, whatever deal you made, I'll double to make you go away."

"Really," he paused and put his hand to his mouth to think about it. "That is tempting, but you might want to hear the deal before you suggest that. The deal is they have to buy me lunch, or rather, buy US lunch. I told them that with you being this pregnant, it would be nice if you didn't have to go out in this awful heat today to find lunch. Now, I'm fully capable you can and even to prove a point, would walk miles in the heat today, but in thinking of you and the princess, they will be bringing both of us lunch. Now, if you are offering to double that, that means you are buying me lunch for TWO days. I'm good with that if you are," he flashed a smirk and sat back to cross his arms.

Sharon put down her pen, a bit forcefully and turned toward him, "I don't need others buying me lunch. Because I have no interest in having lunch with you, fine," she waved her hand, "stay."

"Excellent," he nodded and grinned. "So, before this thing starts, how are you doing? How's the princess?"

Sharon looked to him, her lips pursed and shook her head. She let out a long breath, "Fine, and you don't need to worry about me or MY baby."

Andy leaned toward her and dropped his voice, "Come on, Sharon. I'm just asking as a friend. She's getting big," he nodded to her. "Everything going okay."

"Yes, fine as I said. I'm sitting here by the door because the baby has taken residence on my bladder, and I go to the restroom about every half hour. I'm trying not to get irritated, but my body has just completely rebelled against me. Nothing fits. I keep having to buy new clothing," she said with a crisp tone.

He leaned toward her again as the speaker took the stage, "And, I must say, you look lovely in that navy dress."

"Hmm, this tent," she stated, glancing to her last bit of paperwork before the class started. "Your money bought it, so glad you like it." Sharon said that, closed her folder, and she looked to her purse as if she was looking for something. Andy tried not to smile, but he was glad she'd used the money to buy some clothing. He decided to ignore it, especially since the speak had started. Instead, he sat back, crossed his arms, and he tried to pay attention. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he noticed Sharon pulling out a bottle of Tums. She ate a couple and then put the bottle on the table. He nodded to himself. He'd have to ask her about the reflux or heartburn. When she turned forward, he briefly caught her eye and flashed a grin. She let out a low scowl and shook her head. Yes, he was fine with this bet.

During the first break, Andy didn't get a chance to speak to Sharon. She darted out to go to the bathroom, her third trip in the hour and a half they'd been in the conference. He noted that she wasn't kidding about having to use the restroom and wanted to make sure he asked her if she needed anything. Instead, he walked to the back to talk to the guys.

"Enjoying the back row?" he raised his eyebrows at the two.

"Sir, I really can't believe you stayed down there. We both thought you'd come back here. We're not even paying attention," Julio added.

"I even broke down and bought a crossword puzzle book like Provenza has," Gabriel grinned. "These classes are always awful."

"Agree," Andy nodded. "It's fine, where I'm sitting, and I'm going to really enjoy my salad at lunch. Oh," he flashed another grin, "maybe an iced tea or lemonade to go with it? Make sure you get one for the captain too," he winked. The session was about to start, and he knocked on the table before returning to his seat. Sharon was just sitting down too, and he gave her a nod as she sat.

"This day keeps getting worse," she huffed as she sat and snatched her bottle of Tums.

He eyed her and nodded to the bottle, "Baby bothering you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, he is. I'm having a lot of reflux. Doctor said these are okay for now, but I must limit myself each day. I am. I've always had reflux issues when pregnant. This isn't different, but it's just one more thing. I am really irritated because while on that break, I just spoke to my doctor's office. I failed the one-hour glucose test and have to go back."

"Wait, what?" Andy asked. He shook his head, "Sorry, what is that? I don't remember much from when Sandra was pregnant. You failed a test? Is that a problem for the baby?"

She pursed her lips, "No, it shouldn't be. Around 28 weeks, you must take a blood glucose test. It's a one-hour test, and if you fail that, you must go back and sit for a three-hour one. I failed the first one. That could be why he's so big. He's supposed to be around two pounds now, but I feel like he's full grown, like seven pounds! I cannot believe I still have another 12 weeks to go. If I fail the three-hour test, they will then work with me for gestational diabetes, which that would be another issue. I didn't have that with the other two. I've never failed the test."

"Oh," he said quietly and frowned. They didn't have much of an audience again. The men behind them had moved, as had the group of men and women in front of them. The guys next to Andy hadn't returned from the break. The room was only about three quarters of the way full, so there were seats. The speaker started again. "When is your next test? When is this three-hour one?" he asked.

"They are closed tomorrow for the holiday. I have to go in first thing the day after tomorrow," she sighed.

"I'll take you if you want," he offered.

"No," she said and realizing how snappy she sounded, she cleared her throat to speak again, "no, thank you. I'll be fine. Just another hurdle before he arrives."

Andy just nodded, and the two settled into silence. The lecture resumed, and his mind started to wander. He tried not to stare or even look her way, but his eyes couldn't help it. His baby was right there, inside Sharon, growing more and more each day. He almost couldn't believe it. Sandra's pregnancies had been a blur between the long work hours as a patrol cop and the drinking. His drinking had started back then, and if he wasn't working or taking a double shift at work, he was usually at the bar. It didn't get out of hand until after the kids were born, but then, he just needed an escape. He couldn't be a dad. Coming home to babies and toddlers freaked him out, and after long hours, he didn't know how to deal with them. So, he'd started drinking more and more until it was an addiction. Sandra finally threw him out when she sent him to the store for diapers and formula, both things needed immediately, and instead, he went to the bar, blew all the money, slept it off in his car, and finally, drove home. Sandra told him to leave, and he had. That had been the extent of his parenting, and since then, he hadn't done much better, except the drinking. That had finally stopped. Now, he couldn't stop staring at this baby, this life he'd created with Sharon of all people. Every now and then, he could almost see movement, like the princess was kicking. His thoughts were confirmed when her hand would sometimes move to that spot, and she'd run her hand over it. Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice his looking at her from the corner of his eye. In just a few short months, Sharon would give birth to a child he'd created. It was crazy. He still couldn't believe it, but he'd been asked and had agreed to walk away. It was for the best.

Their lunch break finally arrived at 12:30, a full half hour after it was promised. As expect, the conference was running late. Andy turned back to the guys and gave them a nod, indicating he'd wait for his lunch. He pointed to his watch, telling them not to be long, and they both nodded. Julio rolled his eyes, and Gabriel smirked at him. With most of the room getting up, Andy turned to find Sharon already back at work on her paperwork.

"You really are a workaholic," he stated.

"Hmm, just have a lot to do. I was in Arizona over a week. Things piled up for me," she added.

"Look," he leaned toward her, "can I do anything? I feel badly about all this. I mean, you're not feeling well. You keep having these appointments. If you need anything, I'm your guy."

She put her pen down and turned to him, the room mostly empty. She just nodded, "Thank you, but I'll be fine. I'm just worried now about this large child and the possibility of gestational diabetes. I'll see my doctor, and hopefully, it's just the test." She squirmed in her seat and put her hand on the top of her mound and grimaced.

Andy eyed her, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and waved, "He's up under my ribs. It is painful and can take my breath away. I'm also having contractions."

"Contractions!" Andy exclaimed and looked around the room. No one was near them. "Should I like get you to the hospital?"

"No, Braxton Hicks, the almost practice ones. They aren't the real deal, but your body has them sometimes, almost like to get you ready for labor. It's like an intense cramping," she explained.

He gestured with his hand, "Is, is, is it normal? I mean, is it okay to have those this early?"

"It's normal, yes. Look, you don't need to worry. My body knows what to do and when to do it. I've done this before, two times before this. I really want to get some work done while I can. Besides that, you sitting here with me is a bit odd, so maybe you can give me some space? I'm hot too, and I'd just like to concentrate."

"Sure," he nodded. "Thanks for telling me and not treating me like total garbage today," he smirked as he stood. "Your salad will be here soon."

Andy walked away, and he paced around in the lobby for a few minutes, thinking about everything Sharon was dealing with in her pregnancy. He heard his phone buzzing, and he pulled it out to find two text messages. One was from Julio telling him the food was on the way, and the other was from Sara, the woman he had seen last weekend. He'd had a great date with her, but she appeared to be as much of a player as he was. He opened her text, "Busy for the 4th? We could make our own fireworks."

He groaned at that. The idea was tempting, really tempting, but he hated to get involved with anyone. Sure, she seemed to want something casual too, but he just had a red flag on her that she'd get clingy with him. He sighed, almost in disbelief he was telling her this, "Sorry, working. I'm sure you can find any number of guys who would enjoy that. Thanks for the good time last weekend."

Andy put his phone away, hoping that message would be clear to her. He didn't have any dates lined up, and as he thought about Sara, he did need to figure out what he was doing in his life. Maybe he and Provenza would go out together and see if they could meet any women. He nodded, and as he thought more, his phone buzzed again.

"Food is here. You can take it to the captain," Gabriel told him in the text. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he went in search of the guys.

"Thanks for the food," he said when he walked up to them. They had two salads, two drinks, and a bag he assumed was the pastry he'd suggested.

"Sir, you surviving?" Julio grinned.

"Yeah," Andy nodded. "I'm getting all updated on the kid. Captain isn't feeling well. I feel for her."

"We got her some lunch. Maybe that will help," Julio offered. "I even got her two muffins," he smiled slightly. "I have a soft spot for babies."

Andy chuckled, "I'll tell her. Thanks, guys."

He took the food and noted she was still working. As he walked up, she glanced up at him, and her eyes grew wide at the sight of food.

"They really got lunch?" she asked.

"I told you they would. Do you think I'm lying? I haven't lied to you. Why would I start now?" he asked. He handed her the bag of muffins, "Julio has a soft spot for pregnant ladies. He got you two muffins."

She hummed, "Just what I need with failing a blood glucose test, but thanks."

"Sure," he said and sat. "I think they brought you iced tea, so if you don't add sugar, that isn't so bad, right?"

He started to open his lunch. The room was only about half full, and the two ate on their own, without talking, while she signed papers. When Andy finished, he looked over to collect any of her trash and found she'd eaten all the salad and one of the muffins. He took everything and stood.

"I'm going to wash up," he told her. "Need anything?"

"For this class to be over," she grumbled. He just nodded and chuckled while he left.

The rest of the afternoon passed by slowly. They had one quick break, and again, he found Sharon moving toward the bathroom as quickly as she could. The afternoon presenter finished in record time, and Andy chuckled to himself thinking the woman probably had plans and wanted to get going too. As everyone stood to leave just after 5:00, he glanced over to see if Sharon needed any help.

"Need any help, Captain?" he asked, aware they were around others. The rest of their conversations had happened in much lower tones, and now, it was almost hard to speak with the number of others talking.

"I'm fine," she waved at him. "Enjoy your holiday."

"You too," he stood there waiting for her to look up at him. She continued to file paperwork, intent on doing that as long as he stood there. He finally sighed and started to walk away, "Enjoy your holiday, Captain, and tell the princess to lay off kicking you."

Sharon scowled at him, but she didn't say anything. He was in his car, on his way home, when he got a call. His eyes grew wide at the number, and he answered quickly.

"Would you stop calling the baby a princess?" she said, clearly irritated with him. He grinned. Something about her irritated tone made him smile. He did enjoy this particular thing, irritating her about the baby's gender.

"Hey, you don't know what it is either, do you?" he asked.

"No, but-" she started, and he cut her off quickly.

"Exactly, so 50% chance I'm right, and there's a 50% chance you are right. Deal with it. Is that why you called me, seriously?" he asked. She let out a long sigh he could hear. It almost alarmed him, "Sharon? Sharon are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she told him. "I'm in my car, in the parking garage still. I, I, look, I'm sorry I called."

"No," he shook his head. "You didn't just call about the kid. I can tell. What is it?"

"This sounds so stupid. I can't believe I'm asking this, but fine," she sighed. "You are so intent on asking me if I need anything, if you can do anything. Well, there is something, but I don't know how to say it."

"Just blurt it out," he snapped. "What?"

"My hormones are raging. They have been for awhile, and it's getting worse. Many women have a man at home to help with that. I don't. Because you put me in this predicament, I'm asking if you would-" she grew silent and sighed again. Andy's mind started racing, and his eyes grew wide.

"Sleep with you? You want me to sleep with you again? Is that it?" he almost exclaimed.

"Yes, just for the baby. It would be nothing more. I'm a hormonal mess," she told him. "Look, I'm sorry I asked."

"I don't think I can," he replied quickly. "I mean, sure, I could, but I don't think that's a good idea. It didn't work out so well last time, and you've spent months hating me and being nasty, so-"

The line was silent. He could hear her on the other end, but he didn't know what to say. Finally, he heard her clear her throat, "Forget I asked. It's out of line. I'll be fine. I just need to relax on my day off. Forget I asked, "she repeated and hung up the phone.

Andy, who was still driving, stared at the phone a moment before he refocused on the road. He couldn't believe it, that she'd just called for that. It had taken months just to have a somewhat normal conversation with her. No, it was the right thing to do. He'd turned her down too, which was almost a surprise. It was the right thing to do. He definitely needed a guy night with Provenza. The old guy wouldn't believe this story.


	21. Chapter 21

It was late Monday afternoon the next week before Andy saw her again, and he wasn't sure how that would go. Just days ago, she'd asked him to sleep with her again, this time just to "help her out" as he and Provenza had discussed over the last few days. It was the right decision to turn her down; he knew it because things were already complicated. She'd been nasty to him for months, and now, she when she wanted something; she was asking him to sleep with her again. No, he didn't want that, but he did want to know if the princess was okay, and with that in mind, he found a reason to check on her late Monday afternoon.

Actually, Provenza helped with that. The team had some paperwork due in FID, and the chief had told Provenza to have it sent upstairs. He turned toward Andy, eyed him, and nodded at the stack in his hand.

"Provenza, really?" Andy asked, slightly irritated. The rest of the team looked between the men and chuckled. Deep down he knew his best friend was throwing him a bone and giving him a reason to go upstairs, but he had to make it look good in front of the team.

"Oh, just because you irritate me to no end, Flynn, I've voluntold you for this task," he waved the papers. "Go, visit the sacred FID office, and the rest of you can go home. Chief already told me she had dinner plans with Fritz."

Andy threw a scowl at Provenza, but both men knew it was an act. Provenza had listened to him rant about Sharon's idea for days, telling Andy it was a bad idea. Andy had listened, but both men were now wondering if the baby was okay. He'd done a little research on gestational diabetes and knew it could be serious for Sharon and the baby. Andy was secretly relieved to go upstairs to her office and have a moment to ask about her test and doctor's appointment. As he glanced at his watch, he noted it was after 6:00 and hoped she would still be in the office. Then, he rolled his eyes; of course, she'd still be in the office. She was a workaholic and was always there. It didn't take long for the elevator, and he stared at the doors, his mind blank, as he rode to her floor. The elevator opened, and he found most of the FID area dark, but he could see her light on, blinds closed, and the door partly closed. She'd apparently sent her team home already and being the boss, had stayed to finish paperwork. It was a relief, and with that, he moved quickly toward her door.

With the door partly open, he knocked and pushed it the rest of the way open to find Sharon hard at work at her desk. She looked up at the interruption and sighed, while he closed the door and threw a smirk her way. She pushed back in her chair and put her hands over her stomach again, almost in protection mode, but he could see the exhaustion on her face. She looked almost weary, and he was glad he'd interrupted her; she needed a break.

"Hi," he said quietly. "Your team is gone?" he asked as if a question. He didn't want to speak about anything personal if people were still lurking in the quiet office, even behind closed doors.

She pursed her lips and then ran her thumb and finger over the bridge of her nose. He could almost see she had a headache. The baby was doing her in, one day at a time. She closed her eyes when she rubbed the bridge of her nose, and then, she opened them and looked to him, "They are, yes. I sent them home around 4:00. We had a very late night last night, little sleep, and an early morning. I take it you are here for some reason and aren't checking up on my leadership skills?"

He rolled his eyes and handed over the paperwork to her. He shrugged, "I suppose it's a little of both. Here's the paperwork you needed from our team. You and Chief are such good friends, so be grateful she didn't come," he smirked again.

Sharon reached up to accept the paperwork, and she scowled at him, "I'm not sure you are any better." She grimaced in her seat and changed position, the pain visible.

He gestured toward her in pain, "I also wanted to check on you. How's the princess doing? I mean, did you get the result of your glucose test?"

She had started to open the file, but at the mention of the test, she looked up to eye him and nodded, "We're fine. I mean, the test was okay. I don't have gestational diabetes, thank goodness, but I am going to watch what I eat even more. I'm not sure that will even help, but it will make me feel like I'm doing all I can. I already eat well, unlike your chief. Aside from scaring me for a few days and the inconvenience of the three-hour test, all is okay. Now, I could do without the exhaustion, indigestion, reflux, frequent bathroom trips, swollen everything, and internal somersaults."

"That's great news," Andy grinned. "I'm really happy to hear that, Sharon, I mean the test." She eyed him with a glare, but she looked to the folder while he stood there. He sighed, and said, "Look, no one is around here right now. I've slept with you and made a human life. I'm going to call you Sharon. It's one thing if others are around, but aside from the kid, who isn't talking by the way, no one is here. You are Sharon, and my name," he flashed an annoying grin, "is Andy."

She hummed, but she studied the file, her hand running over her stomach as she did. Andy waited to make sure nothing else was needed, and as he was doing that, he glanced to her desk. She was meticulous even with her stacks, but he could see what looked to be an ultrasound picture over next to her cup of tea.

"Hey, is that the princess?" he asked, nodding to her picture.

Her eyes followed, and she moved the file over the picture and looked back at him, "There's nothing to see."

He rolled his eyes again, "Come on, Sharon. May I see the ultrasound picture? I know that's what it is. Look, you are still mad at me. Fine," he shrugged. "I'm not going to sleep with you again just because you think it's my duty for knocking you up. We've been at odds for months, and while this," he gestured between them, "is better, I'm not doing it. You told me to forget about you, the princess, move on, and date. I'm doing all that. So, it's not happening, no matter how amazing it was before."

She slapped the file down on her desk, "I am not sitting here thinking that. I have moved on from that comment. It was a moment of total exhaustion and just all around stress. Don't flatter yourself that I sit at home dreaming of our times together. Now, as you just said, you've moved on, so you don't need to see the picture, and you can certainly move on for the evening. I'm sure you have a date."

Andy pursed his lips, nodded, and then he sat down in the chair across from her. She continued to eye him as he did, and he rested his arms on his knees, the two locking eyes almost as if in a stalemate. He opened his mouth, paused, and then he spoke, "Look, I've done what you want regarding the baby. It's still a kid I made. I just want to see the picture. These ultrasound things are so much better than anything ever before. Like it or not, we do work in the same building. I'm going to see her. 'm going to notice things about her, like if she has my eyes or yours, if she has my grin, if she has your hair color or mine. The resemblance will be there, so why the hatred again? A few days ago, you wanted me to take you back to your condo and have a repeat of what made her. Now, I'm not good enough to see a simple picture?"

Sharon scowled, but she reached to the pile of files and pulled out the picture. She put it on her desk, meaning that Andy would have to stand and put forth effort to see the picture. She nodded to it, "There's your look."

Andy flew out of his seat and pounced on the picture, enough that it scared Sharon. She sat back in her chair and cradled her hands around her stomach again. Andy stood, staring at the picture.

"Wow, this is amazing!" he smiled brightly at her. "I can't believe they can see things this clearly."

She nodded, still quiet. The room was silent for a few more moments while he looked at the ultrasound picture, and she cleared her throat, "The technology is very advanced. I didn't even get one of the fancy ultrasounds they now offer. I don't want to find out the gender, so I've stayed away from those. Still, my doctor's office checks on the baby somewhat regularly. They went ahead and did a check-up when I had my testing. He's fine still, which is a relief. She closed her eyes in some pain again, and he looked to her, concerned.

"You okay?" he asked, somehow the tension now broken.

She nodded and bit her lip, "It's just those Braxton Hicks contractions. The books say they aren't that painful, but these have been. I know I'm not in labor, but wow. I didn't have these like I am now with Emily or Ricky. They are beyond the mild cramping feeling. Sometimes, the way he's sitting with the pain, it almost takes my breath away. She started to stand, Andy watching as she did, her stomach now bigger than it was, and he nodded to her.

"Need some help?" he asked. He then clarified, "I mean, do you need help standing?"

"I've got it. My feet are swollen. My hands are swollen. 29 weeks, and I'm ready to pop. At least, I'm into the third trimester now, and I know if he's born, he has a much better chance now," she sighed as she stood and braced her hand on her desk. She put her other hand on her lower back to help her balance. "I just need to use the bathroom. It feels like he's jumping on my bladder. So, if you will excuse me, the paperwork looks to be in order. I'll let your chief know if I need anything."

Andy nodded and stood to the side to let her pass, trying to be a gentleman for her. She stopped and looked at him, wondering why he was doing that. He gestured with his hand for her to go first, and he shook his head. "I'm trying to be polite," he said finally. He looked to his hand and saw he was still holding the ultrasound photo. He lifted it to give to her, but before he did that, he held it almost over her stomach, as if he was envisioning the princess inside based on the photo. Sharon looked at him, then, with the photo, realizing what he was doing. He met her gaze and gestured to her again.

"May I feel her?" he asked.

Sharon shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I don't think-wait, will you go away and stop asking about him?"

"I haven't exactly been intrusive, Sharon. I just want to feel my kid. I kinda feel like it's the least you can do. I see her kicking you at times, and I'd just like to feel her for once," he explained. He offered the picture back to her as a truce or a bargaining chip. She carefully snatched it, her eyes locked on his and then she looked to the ceiling and nodded. "This is a one-time offer."

"Great," he grinned and put his hand to the side. She put hers over his to move it to a better spot, and it only took a few seconds before he felt the baby kicking. "Oh, wow!" his eyes widened. Sharon removed her hand from his and looked away, not wanting to be part of this moment she was stuck in the middle of right now. "I can see why that hurts," he gave her a sympathetic smile. "Thanks," he said and removed his hand. Sharon glanced to him and away again. When her eyes met his on another glance, she quickly took the last step between them and kissed him. It took Andy by surprise, and he put both his hands on the sides of the baby there at her stomach, but then, almost as realization was setting in for him, he pulled back, as did she.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she said, tearfully. "That was me with my hormones again. I'm sorry, and hormones are no excuse. It was just a moment. I'm going to use the bathroom. Please, just go. That won't happen again. I had a moment."

She moved to her door as quickly as she could. Andy stood there, looking at the floor, the awkwardness registering with both. He sighed and shook his head. He'd been warned. She'd told him her hormones were a mess, but this wasn't good for him, for either of them. It had been a moment, one where he'd felt his baby, and yeah, he'd even kissed her back. They shared a baby, a true miracle, and kissing someone in that moment of realization didn't seem so wrong. It did now. That was over, and he needed to go. She was toxic for him; he knew that. She was cold and hot with him, one moment refusing to let him see the ultrasound and the next, almost lunging at him. He looked around, noting she was still gone, and he turned and walked to the elevator. His part in her life was ending. Yes, he wanted to know about the baby right now, to make sure both Sharon and the princess were healthy, and yes, he'd want to check on them when the baby was born, but after that, he knew his part had to finally end. He just needed to keep telling himself that.


	22. Chapter 22

"I don't know what to do anymore, Provenza," Andy said, exasperated, later that week on a Saturday night when the two sat at the bar. Provenza was on his third beer, and Andy was sitting there, explaining the developments earlier in the week. "She put that idea in my head, sleeping with her. I, mean, sure it's tempting. We were pretty hot together, but it's not healthy. I have tried to get by it for the last couple weeks, even more since she flung herself at me in her office. I get it, that her hormones are raging, and I get that's even partly my fault, but no," he shook his head. "I can't with her anymore. I'm trying to move on. I mean, I even took a date home with me over the weekend, but somehow, that didn't do the trick for me. I can't stop thinking about my kid and what I've done to Sharon. I felt my kid. It's not even my kid," he threw up his hands. "Sleeping with her would be a bad idea," he dropped his head and sighed.

Provenza put his beer down on the counter. He'd been listening to Andy for the last half hour, and while the beers were helping, they weren't enough. He wanted to support his friend, but he'd had enough. He turned slightly to look at him, "Look, yes, it would be a terrible idea. I told you that the first time, the second time, even what, the fifth or sixth time. I lost count! I've told you," he nodded to him. "You can rant all you want, but you don't listen, at least not to me. If you had, you wouldn't have a what-almost eight-month pregnant baby momma here. I could tell you to walk away, but I know you, and you don't listen to me, especially not where she's concerned. She is toxic, yes. She's gotten into your head somehow. I've listened to you tell me about the other women you've taken home in the last few months, and I've never heard you deliberate like you are with her. I know it's a mess, but she let you go! You can walk away and need to because she asked you to do so. Her wanting to start it up again is a terrible idea, Flynn. I know you, and you'll get emotionally attached to the kid. You'll be there, in bed with her, and you'll get that goofy grin when you feel your kid kick you. Don't do it, but why do I even tell you? If you've agonized over this, slept with someone else to get over this, and yet, you are still thinking about sleeping with her, I think we both know what you are going to do."

Andy frowned at him, "Yeah, but I don't think I even want to start that again."

"Sure," Provenza chuckled. "You couldn't wait to get off the road each night on our trip. Something about her, you just can't walk away. You have to for the kid; you have to walk away. That's the law. You need to now before you get even more involved, which is insane I am saying that considering you fathered a child. Whatever, though, she's going to have that kid in another couple months. Sure, I know you'll check on her and the baby, but you, my friend, must start preparing yourself to walk away for good then. That's what you signed on the dotted line to do. She WILL hold you to that."

Andy raised his arm and nodded while he looked away. Provenza took another swig of his beer, and he could tell Andy was still focused on everything.

"I know a way to get your mind off the baby momma," he said. "Tell me, what did I hear the other day with you talking to your ex-wife? Now, that would be a scary thought, you two back together," he shuddered.

"Relax," Andy rolled his eyes. "That's not happening, no matter how desperate I am. No, I had sent her a text a week ago or so asking about Nic's birthday plans. Sandra didn't reply to it, but she did her typical, waiting, hoping I was then going to be busy. Turns out," he grinned, "I'm not busy. I know when my kid's birthday is, and I kept that date open. I don't have to work, which has been a problem in the past, not always by my doing. Basically, Sandra had to invite me to the family birthday dinner."

Provenza's eyes widened, "You're going to eat with all of them? Oh, that should be good," he chuckled.

"At least it's at a restaurant, even if's a pretentious one I would never pick," he sighed. "Leave it to Sandra to pick a place like that, all glitz and glam, and I'm sure I won't even be able to afford a side salad, let alone a meal. The good thing is Sandra and the dirt bag will have to behave with the kids there, or I hope they will."

"When is this fun event so I can mark my calendar for a domestic dispute roll-out?" he asked.

"Ha, funny guy," Andy shook his head. "Nic's birthday is July 21st. Nate's is right after that, if you remember. His is July 30th. So, I'm going to make sure that I'm at both kids' birthday dinners this year even if it drives Sandra crazy, really, partly because it drives her crazy. The kids don't really want to hang with me on their own, but Sandra invited me, believing I wouldn't come. I'll be there."

Provenza just nodded, "So, you have two dinners with your ex and family before the month is out? That sounds like a nightmare," he chuckled. "You need to focus on behaving at those, which is even more reason you need to forget the captain right now. You definitely lose your mind when you are around her."

"I'll be focused for dinner. That won't be a problem," he smirked. The two settled into a comfortable silence, both thinking about their own lives. They could agree that Andy had a mess.

Finally, Nicole's birthday dinner arrived, and Andy made sure he was early, a half hour early to the restaurant. He came with flowers for her, reminding himself she wasn't 10 anymore and wouldn't like the attention of a balloon, but he brought flowers, along with a set of new earrings for her. She loved turquoise, and he'd found some unique, dangling earrings he knew she'd adore. As he waited, he stood around, nervous about the evening. As predicated, Sandra had extended a "late" invitation for Nate's birthday, too, sure Andy would have forgotten the date, but again, he was ready. So, here he was waiting for the first dinner, and he had a second dinner with all of them in just over a week. Andy hated restaurants like this, places where the food cost a fortune, and you hardly got anything to eat. They were pretentious, and he was not. He hated his kids had grown up used to eating at places like this because it made him look cheap the few times they would go out with him to some of his favorite, local places. His thoughts were interrupted as the hostess told him the table was ready, just as the rest of the family arrived.

Andy got seated. He knew there wouldn't be a race or fight to sit next to him at the large round table, but thankfully, the kids sat on either side of him to keep the peace. Once everyone was seated, he turned to the kids, hoping to completely ignore Sandra and the dirt bag.

"How is everything?" he asked Nicole. "I have to say, you really look beautiful, so grown up." He smiled at her, and she blushed at the compliment coming from her father. "How's work? I can' believe you are 27 already," he sighed.

"Work is good," she nodded. "I'm back in school at night, or I will be very soon; I'm getting my master's degree. I am going to start class next month."

"Really?" Andy's face lit up, and he looked around the table. "No one told me. I mean, I'm happy to help with the tuition if you need."

"I'm fine," she waved at him. "My job pays well. I can swing it. I'm independent. It was Nate's doing," she nodded to him. Andy turned to his son.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "I'm back in school too, the same thing. I just started back in January."

"Really? Wow," Andy said. "I didn't know. Do you need anything?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "I'm good too."

"What program?" he gestured between the two.

"I'm pretty boring, just my master's degree in accounting. I can specialize a little, but we'll see," she shrugged.

Andy nodded and looked to Nate who quickly said, "MBA, which was the logical choice."

"Sure," Andy said, wanting to roll his eyes at the attitude he was getting. He felt like a distant relative, not the kids' father.

"An MBA and a master's in accounting open so many doors," Sandra noted, breaking the conversation between Andy and the kids. "I think we should order. To do that, we all need to study the menus. Andy, if you don't understand a description, just ask," she said with a fake smile. Andy ignored it and tried to focus.

"Lieutenant, I thought that was you," Andy heard and looked up, almost dropping his menu in surprise. His face got red as he looked up at Gavin standing there with Sharon, both of whom were dressed in very formal looking clothing. He didn't expect to see anyone from the LAPD at restaurant like this simply because the prices were out the budget of most officers, and most officers felt like he did, that they just wanted a nice meal, one that wasn't eaten in three bites.

"Gavin, Captain," he said, his eyes wide. Where Sharon had stopped moving and was standing, her stomach was right in front of his face, and all he wanted to do was to reach out and touch his little princess. It was ironic that for the only time, he had all three of his kids together. He looked to the table and found everyone staring at him, shocked he knew anyone at this restaurant. He glanced back to Gavin and saw him looking at Sharon, who now had her clutch over her stomach and was looking toward their table where the hostess was waiting with their menus. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"Dad?" Nicole asked.

"Andy," Sandra scowled and shook her head, "you said you were free tonight. Are you meeting people here?"

Andy turned his head to Sandra, "No! Can you just be quiet?" He looked back at Sharon and Gavin. Sharon was eyeing Gavin, but Andy looked at her as he spoke, "What are you two doing here?"

"I'm taking Sharon to the symphony tonight," Gavin answered, even though the question was directed toward Sharon. He had on one of his nicest suits; Andy, being a suit guy himself, could tell that much. Sharon looked lovely too, even though he suspected she didn't feel it. Gavin was still talking, as Andy had started to daydream, "It might be her last time out for a lovely evening for awhile, and she needs a good time," he stated, as if it was obvious why the two were in the restaurant. "This looks like such a fun party," he raised his shoulders in jest, Andy knowing that sarcastic tone. Andy turned back to the table.

"Ahh, this is my daughter, Nicole, my son, Nate," he said and patted each of their shoulders. "That's the rest of the family," he gestured to Sandra and her husband without identifying them by name to Gavin or Sharon. "Everyone, this is Captain Sharon Raydor and Gavin. I work with the captain," he nodded. He eyed Sharon, and he could see the panic in her eyes. He noted her hands had a protective hold on the baby again, and when their gazes met, she gave a very slight nod to him for not saying more.

"Nice to meet all of you," Sharon said, as she gave a small smile. Andy knew that smile, one that was fake and almost terrified. He could see her lip almost quivering.

"Likewise," Sandra said in her cold tone as she eyed her husband and then Sharon. Andy wanted to cringe and disappear from this mess. "If you work with Andy, I'm sorry. I know he's a disaster. He always was in our marriage."

"What's the occasion tonight?" Gavin ignored that and clapped his hands together.

"Nicole's birthday," Andy told them. "She and Nate have July birthdays," he met Sharon's stare and threw her a smirk. "Captain, looks like that baby of yours is about ready to be born, a birthday soon for the little one, I presume?"

She wanted to snap; he could tell, but she cleared her throat and nodded, "Yes, I think he is. I still have just under nine weeks to go, but as we know, babies have minds of their own. This one, from the start, has thrown me one surprise after another. I'll be glad when he's born to end all of this."

"Ahh, sweet, a boy," Nicole smiled. "Congratulations," she said to Sharon and Gavin. "You look great, though, and I love your dress."

"Thank you," Sharon said, giving her a genuine smile. "The dress was my one splurge item. Gavin insisted I splurge with this evening out, and I've had trouble with maternity clothing. It feels nice to wear something fancy for once, but as far as how I look, you are too kind. This baby is huge, and I've gained way too much weight," she shook her head and patted her side. Andy couldn't stop staring at the baby or the dress. It was beautiful.

"We don't want to keep you," Andy flashed a smile. "I hope you have a wonderful night."

"Oh, yes," Gavin nodded and gestured to their table. "We've kept the hostess waiting long enough. Nice to meet the lieutenant's whole family," he nodded.

"Happy Birthday, Nicole," Sharon touched her shoulder and looked to Nate too. "Nice to meet you, Nate. Have a good night, and Lieutenant Flynn, I'm sure I will see you at work."

Andy watched them walk away, Gavin's hand on Sharon's back as they walked, and he turned back to the table when he heard them discussing Sharon.

"Wow, Dad, she's a cop? I mean, she looks great, but isn't she old to be having a kid?" Nicole asked. "Her husband is nice."

"That's not her husband," Andy said. "She's not that old."

All eyes turned toward him, and he rolled his, "Look, I work with her. Sure, I know about her. That's her lawyer, Gavin. I've used the guy too for work issues. They are friends. She's going through a divorce right now."

"Ugh, leave it to some pig to leave his wife pregnant like that and divorce her," Nicole said and rolled her eyes. "That's just wrong. The guy walks away free as a bird, probably has someone my age on the side, and he leaves her with a baby and a pregnant body. Typical," she scoffed.

"It's not quite like that," Andy started to say, but when he saw them eyeing him again, he raised his hand. "Let's forget about them. I see enough of the two of them at work. Let's celebrate Nicole's birthday."

"Hmmm, the woman is left to raise the kid, sounds familiar," Sandra scowled at him. "No wonder you don't want to continue that discussion."

"You would know," Andy shrugged. "Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?"

The rest of dinner went well, considering he had to ignore almost every snide comment Sandra made. Andy kept trying to steal glances at Sharon. She and Gavin were seated off to a side room, and with that, he couldn't get a good angle on her. As Nicole was just finishing up unwrapping her presents, he noticed Sharon walking toward the bathroom and wanted to follow her. He'd been wanting to speak to her recently, but she hadn't been around much. He had a feeling she was having more and more appointments, but she hadn't told him, and for the last several days, he'd been unable to find an excuse to talk to her at work. He knew calling her was a bad idea, so he'd just waited, hoping to catch her for a moment. The moment was now.

"Dad, thanks for the earrings and flowers," Nicole smiled at him. "I'm glad work didn't get in the way this year."

"Me too, Kid," he patted her hand. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom." Andy stood and moved away quickly before anyone at the table could speak. He wanted to speak to Sharon, and she had a three or four-minute lead on him, so it was possible he might miss his chance. He moved down the hall, thankful the restrooms were away from the rest of the restaurant. He nodded to two women as they exited, and while he waited, he stood against the wall, his hands in his pockets. Finally, she emerged, and he could see the exhaustion again on her face. The evening out would be hard on her.

"Oh, I don't want to talk to you right now," she grumbled. "Please, go enjoy your kids."

She put her hands on the top of her stomach, and he nodded, "I get it. I just want a minute. Look, I'm sorry I'm here in the middle of your evening. This wasn't some plan. I never expected to see anyone from work in a place like this. I mean, most of the LAPD can't afford this on their monthly salary, but no surprise Gavin brought you here. It's just not my type of place, not my class of place," he explained. A man walked by them, and to do so, Sharon had to step to the side, now against the wall, looking to Andy. She raised her eyes and nodded.

"Yes, well, thank you for not discussing this," she nodded to her stomach. "I didn't know what you'd told your kids."

"Nothing," he shook his head. "I've told them nothing. It's not something to explain, that I messed around, got you pregnant, signed away my rights-" he shook his head. "I told them nothing. My family would have a field day with this information."

"Good," she pursed her lips and nodded. "I do have to say it's always ironic the man can keep indiscretions hidden, while they are very obvious," she gestured to her stomach, "on the woman."

"Look, I'm not here to argue. I have wanted to talk to you. You aren't in the office much lately," he said.

She shrugged, "I'm very busy. I have major life changes happening very soon," she grimaced and let out a long breath. Andy watched, noting she was in pain again. Instinctively, he reached to touch her stomach, and instantly, he felt the baby kick. She stepped away from him. "I think I need to rejoin Gavin."

"Let me finish," Andy nodded to her, his hand now back at his side. "I know she's hurting you. I just wanted to feel my kid. I'm sorry; I shouldn't be just touching her, touching at you. What I wanted to say is that I've done some thinking. You are right; the least I can do is help you out," he nodded to her. "I'll come over if you want. I know you are miserable, probably even more as the weeks go by. I know it won't mean anything, but I've thought about it, and I can do-"

She cut him off, her eyes, raised, "Me? What were you going to say now? Were you going to say you'd come over and do me? Between that and your knocking me up comment I've heard a few times, I can just see how you romance your dates." She gestured toward herself and stared back at him. "Just stop talking. I don't want to discuss it, any of it."

"No!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't going to say that. You always assume the worst of me. I'm not a horrible person. Sure, I don't necessarily have the finesse you might want, but what I was going to say is that I could do that for you, whatever YOU need because YOU asked me, remember? I'll sleep with you, whether one more time or a few, whatever you need or want. You are one to talk, Sharon," he nodded at her. "I may not have the best use of language, but let's call it like it was. You came onto me back in the beginning, which lead to creating that princess," he nodded to her. "You didn't want romance then; you don't want it now. I don't either, so don't stand there and pick apart my life. It was good enough for you before. You asked AGAIN, and sure," he nodded.

She narrowed her gaze, and he waited for her to respond. She shook her head, "It won't be necessary. Thank you."

He drew his head back, clearly surprised. She'd asked him; it hadn't been his idea, but she'd asked. He finally had decided it was something he could do, and she was pushing him away.

He scratched his head, "I'm confused. A couple weeks ago, you wanted me to come to your condo. I'm over whatever I had going on in my head. I'll do it. Now," he gestured, "wait, did you find someone else?" His eyes widened, "Did you get another guy?"

"What if I did?" she asked. "We are not tied together, and the baby is legally not yours."

He narrowed his gaze at her, "So, did you find someone else? I just want to know if some guy will be hanging all over my kid, looking like her father because I already have that situation going on out there," he hooked his hand. "I can somewhat handle work thinking Jack is the sperm donor because he's an idiot, and I know it's not the case. Plus, I know you hate him more than me. So, what is it? Did you find a guy?"

"No," she ran her hand over the baby, "I didn't, but I certainly could if I wanted. I am no longer interested in that offer. The moment is gone. Now, I need to go."

She started to move by him. He scratched his head, "Sharon," he sighed. She stopped, but she didn't turn back to him, "Look, I'm just putting this out there that if you change your mind again, let me know. I won't turn you down. Anytime. I know this pregnancy is bad. I'm sorry. You're still doing okay, right?"

She nodded, still looking toward the dining room and not at him, "We are okay. My blood pressure is starting to rise. I've gained 46 pounds, which just sickens me."

"You still look great, Sharon," he sighed. "Baby or not, I just see the body I saw those few nights. And, tonight," he let out a long breath, "that red dress just, wow."

Sharon stiffened and schooled her features. As she started to walk away, she said, "That, our arrangement," she clarified, "was a mistake then, and it would be an even bigger one now. My baby and I will not need anything from you, now or in the future. Goodnight, Lieutenant."


	23. Chapter 23

August was off to a rough start. The last week of July hadn't been much better. Amazingly, the problems weren't with Andy's kids, family, or with Sharon. No, the problem was at work. Work was tense. The murders were piling up, and Andy had been a mess of emotions, all emotions he was taking out on everyone at work. He'd gotten into it with the chief on a case, about how they should treat a suspect who had also been a victim. He'd had enough of Gabriel and Daniels arguing in the office. He'd just about had enough of everything. Thankfully, he hadn't seen Sharon lately. She seemed to be staying up in her office or whatever. He really didn't care. He knew some of his frustrations were from that woman and how she continued to get under his skin. By the beginning of August, he knew he was ready to go off on someone; he was just frustrated with so much. It didn't help then, that he and Provenza got into problems on their next case when Provenza's car was stolen with evidence inside. He and Provenza always seemed to fall upon the worst luck. If that wasn't bad enough, August got worse as the month continued. The team had been going almost non-stop for weeks, taking on case after case. Some had been downright disturbing, but the death of Julio's brother really shook up the team and much of the LAPD. The death of a police detective's family member was noticed. Brenda had told the team to take a day after they'd solved that case to catch their breath and process everything. When Andy returned to work with everyone else, he rode up in the elevator with Mike and Buzz.

"How's Julio?" Andy asked Mike.

Mike took a deep breath, "He's trying to be strong for his mother. He will get through this eventually, but it's tough. Julio is tougher. His mother is heartbroken, as expected. I think the family has enough food for a month, maybe more. Knowing Julio, he'll be back to work soon. His mother will drive him crazy after a few days, and Julio will do what he knows best; he'll come back to work and solve murders."

The doors opened, and the three filed off the elevator. Andy looked to the men, "I'm going to grab another cup of coffee before I head in there," he nodded to the office. "Anyone else want one? The one I drank on the way to work isn't cutting it right now."

"No thanks, Lieutenant," Buzz nodded. Mike shook his head too, and Andy gave them a small wave as he went to find coffee. He sighed as he opened the door to the break room area, not sure if he wanted to run or to confront her. She was on his floor, not hers. He took a deep breath and thought about running. He really thought about going off on her because he'd had the argument in his mind the last few days. Before doing either, he paused because she was talking.

"Oh, my sweet boy, you are making me just miserable. That is no way to treat your mommy. I'm so happy we've made it this far. I cannot wait to meet you, just another couple weeks or so. I can tell you have flipped. Just stay that way so the delivery goes well for both of us," she said as she had one hand on her back, supporting it while he suspected she was standing there stirring a cup of tea. She wasn't facing the door, and Andy was quite surprised to hear her talking to the baby in such a loving tone. It wasn't a tone he'd heard before. He decided he hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks and did want an update on the baby, so he continued into the room.

"Tea better on this floor than yours, Captain?" he stated in a very professional tone. He'd startled her, and she turned toward, him, her hand still on her back. He hoped his eyes didn't show his surprise at her appearance. She looked even more exhausted than he'd seen her during Julio's brother's investigation. He hadn't spoken to her then, but he'd seen her at the end of the hallway talking to a detective. She looked worse now, and he could tell she'd put on even more baby weight. He did feel sorry for her.

"Lieutenant," she cleared her throat.

"Sharon," he said crisply as he walked to the counter. He turned sideways and leaned on it to talk to her. With the stance he had taken, she couldn't run away from him. "How's the princess? I haven't seen you since-"

"The restaurant," she nodded finishing the thought. "Hmm, it's been nice to have you out of my life. It's been a month of freedom, somewhat of a taste of what is to come."

"Come on, Sharon," he sighed and shook his head. "I heard you talking to her when I walked into the room. Why can't you be nice? I heard you in your mom tone, and I know you love babies. I'm just here asking how everything is going with you. You," he gave her a nod and continued, "you are the one on my floor. Why are you down here? You wanted to check on me? I get it," he flashed a grin.

"No," she snapped and then sighed. "I'm sorry," she raised her hand in apology. "I'm exhausted. I'm hot. I'm swollen. I'm irritated, and I'm gaining weight by the minute."

He frowned and nodded, "What has the doctor been saying? I mean, you're just about a month from your due date. Princess is going to have her birthday soon, right?"

Sharon glanced toward the door, and when she saw no one coming, she started to explain, "I'm in your break room for ice. I've taken all the ice from mine, and even one of my sergeants went for more ice yesterday. I still used all of that. This morning there still isn't ice, and I'm desperate for it. I can't stand how swollen I am, and I'm so hot. I just need the ice to cool me off."

"So, this ice," he said, trying to lighten the tone, "like you are eating it, or are we talking like you are putting it down your shirt? Just want a clear picture," he smirked. He looked to where he thought she had been stirring a cup of tea and saw that she actually had prepared a bag of ice to take back to her office.

"I don't know why I bother," she scowled.

"That offer is still there if I can help," he gave her a single nod.

"No, I told you that was a momentary lapse, and I won't complicate things with another evening with you," she told him.

"Well, l did a little investigating on my own, and I did see that it can help with labor. So, again, if you need me," he nodded and continued, "you know where to find me."

"Delivery is bad enough. I don't want a bad performance before that making it even more miserable."

"Ouch," Andy clasped his chest. "I won't even comment because you and I both know it was never bad. That's just your exhaustion and all talking. Seriously, though, how is the princess? How are you, medically, I mean?"

She pursed her lips and glanced back at the door, again glad to see no one there. She ran her hand over the baby again, "Aside from my misery, he's doing very well. My doctor is quite surprised considering my age and all the weight gain. We are doing okay. I'm at 36 weeks, and once I get to 37 weeks in few days, he's considered at term and should be born just fine," she said, a smile creeping up on her face as she said it. "His lungs should be developed, and he should be a full-sized baby-not that he isn't large enough already, ready to take home then." She looked away and shook her head. He heard her start to sniffle.

"Hey," he said softly now. He could tell she was dealing with a lot of emotions. "That's a good thing, right? Why are you crying?" He reached out to softly touch her arm.

She shook her head, "This is what I've wanted, for him to get to term. He's really going to be born, and I'm going to take a newborn home soon. It's all settling in for me. I almost can't believe it. I really need to get myself ready."

"Okay," he nodded. "What do you need? I can help. I mean, I can put the crib together, go get things, or whatever you need."

She looked back at him as she wiped her face, "That's not what I mean. I don't need you for anything. I'm handing this for my baby. Look, I've kept you updated on things. You need to remember he's not yours, and you need to walk away."

"Sharon," he sighed and shook his head before continuing, "can you let a friend help?"

"I don't sleep with my friends," she stated as she eyed him. "I don't create children with so-called friends. I mean, it's one thing if you are with that person, but that's not our situation. We have to work together. We don't need to complicate it with friendship over a shared child that you gave up."

"You don't want help with the crib? Fine," he threw up his hands. "I won't help. So, explain to me the delivery. I don't remember much from my kids. Your due date is around September 23, right?"

She sighed and looked to the ceiling. She glanced back at him again, "Yes, it is. I'll be almost living at the doctor's office the next few weeks as the date gets closer. They will be checking for signs I'm going into labor, and I'm not discussing those particulars with you about my body," she glared at him. Right now, this is what I'll say, "He's head down and should stay that way. That's as much as you need to know right now, and that is a good thing-that he's head down. He's put even more pressure on my bladder and pelvis, making walking almost impossible. The doctor will monitor how I'm progressing, and hopefully, nature will take its course."

"Okay," he nodded. "So, you have my number. Call me anytime, day or night."

She got a puzzled look on her face, "I'm not going to call you. You are no longer the father. I don't want you there. This isn't some happy story where you are in the delivery room with me, and we kiss when he's born. You aren't going to watch the doctor catch him. That's not anything you need to see."

He sighed and looked away. He stood up when he saw another office walking by the room. With the small window, it was hard to see inside the room, but he stood and crossed his arms. He started to speak, paused, and then said, "I'll be happy to help, to take you to the hospital, you know. I mean, it takes two to tango, so you shouldn't have to do this alone. You've endured the pregnancy alone, and I know it's been a rough one. I'm offering help. It's not like I'm going to steal her from you at the hospital, and by the way, I have seen you naked plenty of times," he smirked. He stopped when he saw her glaring at him.

"Look, I really need to sit," she sighed. "I have an appointment tomorrow. It will be, what, August 29, and I think this month alone, I've been to the doctor's office six times for different things. I'm so ready to NOT have to go to that office. If you will excuse me," she gestured for him to move, "I'm going to take my ice and go."

"I'm serious about the hospital," Andy told her. "I know she's your kid."

She turned because she'd started to walk away, "You won't be there. This is my baby, and you signed away that right. I've carried him. I've put on all this weight. I've developed stretch marks and a load of other problems. We are not a couple. We were two consenting adults who made a big mistake, but out of that, I get a wonderful baby," she ran her hand on her side. "I'm sure you will hear when he's born, and maybe you can celebrate by taking home another woman that night. I'd advise not getting her pregnant too."

"You really are bitter," he called to her. "You just can't stand it, anyone being kind and offering help. I've tried being genuine, and I've tried to lighten the mood with jokes. Your ex did a number on you, and except for Gavin and Ricky, you think men are garbage. You're so mad that you lived a little, made a mistake, and you got a baby out of it. I get it. I've offered to help, have given you what you want, and you still keep poking at me. You've labeled me to be like every guy who has burned you. You assume I sleep with a different woman each night. You think I'm a dirt bag just like the creeps we arrest. Fine," he said crisply. "If you think I'm too stupid to care or check on you or my kid, I'm not. I signed the papers, but I still care."

"I feel awful and am not going to discuss this," she looked back at him with a glare. Sharon shook her head, turned, and she walked out of the room.

Andy took a few minutes to cool down, and while he was doing that, he made his cup of coffee. His day was already off to a terrible start, and he didn't need that, not after the last few weeks. He continued to replay the argument in his mind as he walked to the office, and he almost groaned loud enough for everyone to hear when he saw Sharon in his office talking to the team.

"Captain," he said crisply as he walked by her. She looked toward him, acting like she was just seeing him for the first time and nodded.

"I was just saying that I'm very sorry to hear about Julio's brother. I didn't get a chance to tell him," she frowned.

Provenza nodded, "Ahh, Captain," he said with a quick glance to Andy, wondering why Andy hadn't offered her his chair yet, "do you need to sit?"

"No," she waved off him, "I'm better standing right now."

"Ma'am, when is the baby due? I'm guessing soon," Buzz asked.

Sharon hummed, "September 23 or so. It will be here soon."

"Captain, when would your last day of work be, I mean before the blessed event?" Andy asked, flashing a fake smile at her. Provenza groaned, and Sharon gave Andy a look to kill. She cleared her throat, knowing she needed to answer him.

"I'm planning on September 10, just another couple weeks here at work. I know; don't get too excited. Don't worry, Lieutenant, I won't be back in the office for quite some time, but rest assured, I will be informed if you and your partner lose evidence as you did, what, a couple weeks ago, right?"

Andy didn't flinch, but he fired back at her, "Haven't seen your ex around lately. Will he be around to see the delivery?"

Sharon glared at him again, "I've removed the problems in my life. I need to go, everyone, but thank you for the ice," she said and held up the bag. "Please give my condolences to Detective Sanchez."

"Oh, Captain," Buzz piped up as Sharon turned. She glanced to him, "Do you have a baby registry? I asked my sister if she knew anything about baby gifts, and she suggested I find out about a registry."

"No," Sharon gave Buzz a polite smile. "I don't have a registry, and please, you don't need to get me a thing."

"What don't we need to get you, Captain?" Brenda asked as she walked into the room, a greasy bag in her hand. "What did Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza do now?"

"Hey, Chief!" Andy called out to her. "We haven't done anything."

Brenda frowned, "The day is early. We won't discuss the missing evidence case. Captain, what did I miss?"

"I was just asking the captain about a baby registry, and she said we don't need to get her anything," Buzz explained.

Brenda made a face, "That's a topic Fritzy and I don't see eye to eye on right now, babies. I have no desire to have some alien invade my body, change all my eating habits, make me hate things I love to eat, stretch out everything on my body, and then have that baby come out of me! No, thank you," she frowned. She looked to Sharon, "No offense, Captain, but I'm sure you understand what I'm saying."

"Hmm," Sharon gave her a fake smile and patted her side, "as trying as pregnancy is, the moment you hold your sweet baby, everything changes. Holding that baby just melts you and changes everything. You forget it all, and in time, most women do it all over again."

"Still," Brenda shrugged, "your body will never be the same. Your clothes will never fit right, and your life will never be your own. I'm not interested. Sorry, Captain," Brenda shook her head. "Silly me. I'm going on and on, but you are doing this alone, right? Your husband is out of the picture?"

"Long gone, yes," she said, and when she sniffed, she turned her nose up at the smell and shook her head.

"If anyone can handle a baby alone, Captain, it's you," Brenda stated. She frowned when she dug into her bag and pulled out what looked to be an onion ring.

"Chief, is that an onion ring?" Andy asked, a small grin on his face. He glanced to Sharon and saw she was looking sick to her stomach. "Where did you find those at this hour of the morning?"

"I love onion rings. Fritzy and I went to the diner for breakfast, and I asked in my very sweet tone if they would make me some this early. I'm just noticing that I only got three. I usually get five. Why?" she asked.

"No reason," Andy chuckled and nodded to Sharon. "Captain, didn't you say you loved onion rings? I thought you ate a lot of those on that Christmas RV trip."

Sharon waved her hand and refused to look at Andy, "Hmm, I may like them, but the baby does not. I'm going to go before those make me sick," she waved off. "Everyone, again, please give my best to Julio. Chief," she nodded.

Brenda watched her walk out of the room, "Well, if I'd known onion rings would get her out of my hair, I would have had them years ago."

"Chief, that made my day," Andy grinned. "Raydor has been a thorn in my side lately, you know," he nodded, "since the missing evidence case."

"Flynn, I'd just like to know how you remembered that detail, that Raydor likes onion rings?" Provenza asked, knowing the answer. He, too, was trying to stir the pot. He sat back in his chair and threw a questioning glance at Andy.

Andy shrugged and sat down at his desk, "There are just things you don't forget. Raydor and onion rings-that's one of them," he grinned.


	24. Chapter 24

Two mornings later, Andy and Provenza found themselves sitting in a doughnut shop waiting on doughnuts for the team. As much as Provenza hated spending money on anything, he did have a soft spot for Julio, and Julio was returning to work today. Provenza and Andy had discussed doing something for Julio, knowing Julio wouldn't want much of anything, and they'd decided to get breakfast for the team. Doughnuts were the obvious choice. Julio loved them, as did the chief. The last time the team had breakfast together, Daniels had brought bagels, which had drawn some irritation from the chief. Today, they were getting doughnuts, and Provenza was polishing off his second while they waited for the two dozen they'd ordered.

"You have a date this weekend?" Provezna asked him, his face covered in powdered sugar. Andy glanced at him, rolled his eyes, and handed him a napkin. While Provenza was wiping his face, Andy shook his head.

"Nah, not this weekend. I'm going to this party for one of the guys in AA, his five-year sobriety party. You keep it up, your face covered in doughnut, you won't have a date either."

Provenza frowned, "That sounds dull. I mean, no alcohol, so what does one do at a party like that?"

Andy smirked, "We don't drink."

"Well, that's obvious! That's why I asked. So?" he asked again.

Andy shrugged, "We talk. We have coffee. Some have sodas. It's like an AA meeting without the sharing. I don't know," he shrugged. "It should be fun. Who knows-I might meet someone there."

Provenza eyed him, "I thought you weren't supposed to date other alcoholics."

"Well, not to start, at least. I mean, I'm not even talking like that. He -the guy throwing the party-said he was inviting a lot of his friends. He's younger too, so maybe," he shrugged.

"Order 113," they heard, and Andy held up his ticket and stood.

"That's us," he nodded to the lady walking toward them with the doughnuts. "Thanks," he smiled at her. She nodded and returned to the counter.

"You ready, yet?" Andy asked. Provenza stood and wiped his face again. He still missed some of the powdered sugar.

"Wipe off your face before you get into my car like that," Andy told him. "I don't know why we had to drive here together from work. I could have picked up the doughnuts myself. Instead, you made me drive to work extra early to pick you up, and then we had to come here together. Sounds like someone doesn't want to be away from me, or," he nodded, answering his own question, "someone wanted more doughnuts."

"Yes, but then I wouldn't have already had two. No one knows I had two. You don't count. When I get to work, I look like I'm the polite guy, taking two like the rest of the team. I'll get my two doughnuts, and it looks reasonable."

"Let me get this straight," Andy stopped and gestured with his free hand before he continued, "you made me pick you up at work, drive you over here, and it was all for two additional doughnuts? You didn't want others to see?" he asked, now laughing.

"I didn't stutter," he waved his hand. "Let's go."

"You know, the powdered sugar on your tie and face gives it away," he chuckled. "You should go wash your face."

"I am not washing my face. You have any napkins or wipes in your car?"

Andy glanced at him, an annoyed look on his face, "No, why should I? I'm not your dad."

"Excellent point," Provenza pointed his finger at him as the men got into the car. "Speaking of that, how you are NOT a dad, how's the baby momma? She looked rough in our office the other day."

Andy sighed as he backed out of the parking space, "That wasn't even the half of it. She and I got into it in the break room before all of that in the office. That's why I had to prod at her there. The onion rings," he grinned at Provenza, "that was her mood food, and I could tell the smell was making her sick to her stomach. Last time I took those to her, she pushed them away, and she was already pregnant then."

"That explains it," he sighed. "She can get your all worked up, Flynn, and the last thing I want to know or hear about is her 'mood food' from you. Seriously, keep things like that to yourself."

"Well, she gets into this nasty mode with me. I walked in and heard her talking to the baby, this nice, calm motherly voice. I start talking to her, and she goes off on me. Then, she tells me she isn't going to even tell me when she has the kid. Can you believe that?"

Provenza turned sideways to look at Andy, "I'm shocked the mother of your child, wait the mother of a child you signed away your rights, doesn't want you to know about the baby's birth."

Andy scowled at him, "I still should be there, Provenza. That's my kid."

"Flynn, what are you not understanding? You won't be the baby daddy. She is raising the kid alone. You agreed to it," Provenza pointed out to him.

"Can we just not talk about this? I'm getting irritated again, and I just want to enjoy my two doughnuts. Unlike someone, I didn't already eat two," he smirked.

"Fine by me," Provenza waved. He pulled his white bucket hat over his face and groaned, "I have a feeling it's going to be a long day."

The two men made their way into the building with the doughnuts and were waiting for the elevator. They got on it from the parking garage, and it stopped again on the first floor. Both men were silent, looking at the floor, and Andy sighed when his phone text message started to go off when they reached their floor.

"If the chief asks me to get her favorite jelly doughnuts again, I swear I'll eat them both before we get to the office," he sighed, and both men stepped off the elevator. Provenza kept walking, but Andy stopped to dig out his phone. "Crap," he said, his eyes wide. Provenza turned.

"What, is the chief now threatening to send you to dinner with her parents the next time they are in town?" Provenza chuckled.

Andy shook his head, and he stared at his phone, "No, ahh, it's from Gavin. Sharon had the baby."

"What?" Provenza's eyes widened. "She had the kid? When?"

Andy gestured to him, and he nudged the boxes at Provenza. Provenza, still speechless, took the doughnut boxes, and he followed Andy down the hall to the corner where there was some privacy. "I don't know anything. The text just said she had the baby. Let me find out. Oh," he ran his hand through his hair, "the baby is early, a few weeks early."

"Well, well," Provenza gestured, "find out more."

"Gee," Andy rolled his eyes at him, "what a good idea, you moron! You think I don't want to find out about my own kid?" he said, lowering his voice. He started typing out a message, and he waved off Provenza who was trying to look over his shoulder. The men waited, and both almost pounced on the phone when Gavin answered.

"She had the baby overnight. It didn't go well, but both are doing fine now. She's in Room 631, not that I told you. I am guessing you know the hospital," Gavin said.

"What is it? Did she have a boy or a girl?" Provenza asked, reading Gavin's text.

"You're seeing what I'm seeing!" Andy exclaimed and quickly looked around, realizing he was shouting. "Obviously, he didn't tell me. Let me see."

"Boy or girl?" Andy asked.

"I spent all night with Sharon and now have to work all day. She's alone for now until I go back this evening. If you are so interested, I suggest you find out for yourself," he told him.

"Gavin!" Andy yelled, clearly irritated he couldn't an answer from a text message.

"Go, go," Provenza waved at him.

Andy just nodded, and he ran his hand through his hair, "Work-the chief," he shook his head. "Tell her I had an emergency with one of my kids."

Provenza rolled his eyes, "They say the best lies are out of the truth. Go. I will let the cat out of the bag if you don't update me. Your kid was just born, and you don't even know what you had." Provenza shook his head.

"Hey," Andy pointed to him, "you are the one who keeps saying it's not my kid."

"Saying it, getting you to believe it, and walking away from the baby are all different things. I've been there since you fathered the kid-well, thankfully, not that moment exactly, but still. I expect an update, Flynn," he nodded. "Go."

Andy grinned and nodded, turning to leave the building. He turned back," I'm going to take the stairs. They are faster."

"Flynn," Provenza called to him, "congrats, even if you aren't involved. I'll still know the whole story."

Andy wanted to put on his lights and sirens as he drove toward the hospital, but he didn't. He couldn't run the risk of anyone asking him over his radio what was going on, and that would only lead to more problems. He had to play this cool when he got back to work because he would have to go back to work today. His baby had been born, but no one, except Provenza, knew that, and Andy had to remain calm at the office. That didn't change that his heart was ready to explode. As he drove, he thought about this miracle, this baby he never expected to have, with Sharon, of all people. The baby was a true miracle, born against all obstacles. He chuckled as he thought about it, sleeping with Sharon in the first place, the condom problem, Sharon's age, all of it-it was almost comical that out of all that mess, he and Sharon had created a life, one that had arrived apparently today. He glanced at his watch, just realizing this date would be forever on his mind now, August 30. He'd never forget the date. 8/30, and as he thought of it, a huge grin formed on his face. August 30, 8/30, or 830, the room number of their hotel room on Christmas. Oh, that had been an amazing night, really an amazing afternoon, night, and morning. They'd spent hours together, and he wasn't so sure that they didn't conceive the baby during that trip. Sure, he'd had protection, but he hadn't told Sharon there that day that after one of their rounds, that the condom had broken. Now, he realized, that might have been an important detail, but at the time, he really didn't consider she could and would get pregnant. It wasn't like the two had a full on conversation when they finished. She'd gotten up, disappeared into the bathroom, and she'd yelled out to him to go get something to eat. He had, and when he'd returned, they didn't waste time getting under the sheets again. She'd basically sent him out of the room after each time, and that was one oof the reasons the room number was so engrained in his head. He'd been in and out of that room many times on that trip. Still, now, here, it was impossible to know exactly what day the princess was conceived. The two certainly hadn't used anything during their rushed New Year's Even encounter, but it seemed fitting the baby had a birthday to remind him of the very heated Christmas he and Sharon had spent in the hotel.

While he wanted to throw the car in a no parking zone, he didn't. He parked, collected himself, and he started for the hospital. As he walked, he realized he looked and felt like a jerk. Sharon had just given birth to their child, and he'd done nothing. He hadn't brought anything either. He should have snagged a box of the doughnuts from Provenza, but he didn't do that; Provenza would most likely eat Andy's doughnuts too. He wanted to be mean and get her a bag of onion rings for not telling him anything, but he didn't do that either. Instead, he stopped in the hospital gift shop to pick out a few things.

10 minutes later, armed with a bottle of apple juice, a pack of crackers, a granola bar, a small stuffed animal, and some flowers, he found himself getting off the elevator. He stopped at the desk to check in with the nurse.

"I'm here to see Sharon Raydor," he gave them a small smile. He pulled out his badge just so they would know he wasn't some criminal.

"Ahh, we figured the LAPD would start parading through here," the nurse smiled at him. "I take it you are a friend, not family?"

Andy gave her a blank stare, not sure what to say. He finally just nodded, "Ahh, yeah. I'm a friend. How is she? How's the baby?"

The nurse smiled at him as she filled out the visitor paperwork, "I guess you will see for yourself. She's down the hall, Room 631."

"Thanks," Andy said, giving her a polite nod. He felt sick to his stomach. This was the first time he'd been asked about his own baby and had denied being related. It didn't feel good, but legally, he knew it was what it was. He shook off that thought for the moment and continued walking, nodding to a couple walking slowly down the hall as the mother was trying to get up and moving. He arrived at Sharon's door. The door was cracked open, but before he went inside, he took a deep breath. His life would never be the same. It already was different, but from this moment forward, he'd have another kid. Even if he couldn't shout it from the rooftops, he knew. Deep in his heart, he knew, and he also knew he had been a lousy father before and was trying to give this kid a better life by letting Sharon have the baby to herself. August 30. He had a new baby, another summer baby, he grinned to himself. He knocked slightly as he opened the door and walked inside.

The room was dimly lit, with the curtains closed. There was a faint light coming from the bathroom, and there was another one over off to the side of the bed, but it looked like the room had been dimmed so Sharon could rest.

"Sharon," he called to her, not sure if she was asleep or awake. She was not facing him, her head turned to the other side, and he could see the bassinet off to that side of her bed. He stepped inside and turned back to close the door. When he turned to face her bed, she was looking over at him.

"Wait, how did you know?" she asked.

"Gavin," he nodded.

"I'm going to kill him," she said groggily. Andy shrugged and walked further into the room, putting the food and flowers down at the end of the bed while he walked around to the bassinet to look at the baby.

"Yeah, you know, I wasn't surprised you didn't call me. You're stubborn like that, but I'm here because I'm at least trying to be a friend. So, is it a boy or a girl?" he asked, walking up to the sleeping baby.

"Boy," she said firmly and crisply. "His name is Alfred. You saw him. You can go."

Andy glanced, turned to her, frowned, and gestured, "Yeah? Why is SHE wearing a pink hat, then? Come on, Sharon. I am a detective." Andy looked back at the sleeping baby and didn't wait for Sharon to respond. He heard Sharon sigh as he stared at the baby sleeping soundly.

"Fine," she huffed. "I don't know why I thought you would just leave. I was sure it was a boy," she said. "You win."

He grinned looking at the baby and turned back to her, now her arms crossed, "Wait, you're mad? Are you seriously mad it's a girl? What do you mean, I win? This wasn't a contest. Here, I thought you'd be happy with a healthy baby. She's healthy, right She's a little princess, just like I said.?"

"No! I'm not mad she's a girl, not at all!" Sharon hissed.

"Oh," he nodded before he continued, "you just wanted a boy to remind you of me. Yeah, you wanted a boy with the charm and the looks I have. Well, she's beautiful and looks like you. She has your nose. Thank goodness she looks nothing like me."

Sharon took a deep breath, noting Andy was still there looking at the baby. She met his gaze when he looked over at her, and she said, "I'm exhausted and not feeling well."

"Yeah, I can tell," he nodded. "How about you let me help, just a little? I'm not here to cause trouble, Sharon. Does your work even know?"

She shook her head, "No, I haven't told them yet. I left yesterday afternoon for my appointment, and here I am," she gestured. "I called earlier and said I wouldn't be in today."

"You have to tell them," he frowned.

"I know," she nodded. "I'm just too tired now. I will later."

"Truce?" he asked. "I'm really not a monster, Sharon. I am happy, excited, and I want to know what happened. I just saw you, what two mornings ago, and you were out to here," he gestured with his hands, "with her," he hooked his thumb toward the sleeping baby. "Gavin sends me a text this morning saying you had the baby. Can we please have a truce? Can we do that for her?"

Sharon looked up at him, and the two stared at each other for a moment. Finally, Andy stuck out his hand. Sharon looked at it, and she finally put her hand up to shake his. She sighed, "Fine. I know this day has been a long time coming, and I appreciate you letting her go. I can indulge you for now, but then, we have to just walk away from each other."

"Work is different," he told her. "I will see you at work, and with the daycare in the building, I'll see her too."

"That's not an issue now," she pursed her lips.

"Okay," he nodded. He sat on the end of the bed at the edge, looking at her and then, with the baby next to him. He nodded to her, "You haven't told me her name."

She shrugged, "I'm not decided."

Andy narrowed his gaze at her, and he turned to the bassinet. He noted the nametag on the front and turned back to her, frowning at her blank stare. "Okay, I don't know if this is a guessing game or what-maybe 'Stump the Detective' or something like that, but why is there an H. Raydor there with your name under it?"

Sharon rolled her eyes, "Her name is Hannah. I've had that picked out for a very long time, but I really didn't think I would be using it. I really thought she was a boy."

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes and sighed, "well aware. That's all I have heard from you for months. So, Hannah," he nodded and smiled at the name. "I like it a lot."

"I'm glad you do, but I didn't need your approval," she stated.

"Just stop! I didn't say you did! I'm allowed to say I like her name. Friends say that. I'm sure I won't be the only one. I like it. It's much better than the Alfred you tried to convince me of earlier," he shook his head. "Like I would believe you'd have Emily, Ricky, and Alfred. Seriously? Hannah is sweet. How did you pick it?"

She shrugged, "I honestly just like it. I heard it on a television show one night, and it just stuck. That's the truth."

"Okay," he nodded. "That's progress, factual information," he smirked. "How much did big Hannah weight? I mean, I know she gave you a rough time. Wait, she's early. Is she okay?"

Sharon nodded, even as he was speaking, "She's fine. She's perfect," Sharon grinned and quickly looked away from him. "She is early, yes, but they said her lungs are developed. If she'd been born a couple days later, she would have been considered term. Technically, she's a preemie, but not by much. The doctor wants her to stay an extra day as long as she's doing well. They were a little worried about her lungs, but so far, she's doing okay. As you can see," she nodded to where Hannah was sleeping, "she's sleeping just fine. I think she just wanted to be born. I'm so glad she's here, and I'm out of my misery."

"Good," he nodded. "That's all good to hear. How big is she? You said the doc kept saying she was huge," he looked over at her.

Sharon grimaced when he looked back at her, "She's five pounds eight ounces. She's not huge at all," Sharon dropped her head. "She's my smallest baby, and I kept saying she was huge. I kept telling my doctor that. He never commented."

"Well, she was early," he nodded.

Sharon looked at him and shook her head, "Yes, but she wasn't early by that much. Emily and Ricky weren't late or anything. The problem is I gained 53 pounds! 53! She was barely six of that, and yes, I know there's other weight I lost with delivery, but still! I cannot believe it. I kept telling the doctor she was huge, and he never said much. I was so sure of myself and so stupid," she dropped her head back on the pillow and sighed.

Andy gave her a shrug, "It is what it is. I know you'll bounce back. You have a great body."

She eyed him, "That, we are not discussing. The focus stays on her and her arrival," Sharon sighed.

"Sorry," he raised his hands in defense, "I just wanted you to know that. It still looks great. You just had a baby, what a few hours ago? Can you tell me all the details?"

She groaned and rolled her head slightly, "It's so embarrassing."

Andy pretended to look around the room, "I don't see an audience. By now, you should know I don't gossip. I've only ever talked about this to Provenza. I know you have Gavin, and I have Provenza. Hannah, here, isn't talking either. What happened? Whatever it is, the outcome looks pretty good."

Sharon opened her mouth and pursed her lips, "This was nothing like I planned."

He gestured again toward Hannah, "Tell me something new."

She rolled her eyes, "I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday just before lunch. I haven't felt good for days, weeks really, but it's gotten worse."

Andy nodded, and while she paused, he said, "Yeah, I have to admit you haven't been looking good recently. I've noticed how tired you have been and just overall not feeling well."

She nodded, "I got to my appointment. The doctor had me put on a gown because well," she shrugged, "I told him I was having a tremendous amount of pressure and had been since I saw you in the break room I suppose, pressure I thought was her head, but after I had on the gown and was getting on the table again, my water broke. It broke right there in the office. I was standing there, and the nurse knocked to see if I was ready. I made such a mess, and then, I just started to cry. My emotions have been all over the place. The next few minutes were a blur, but I remember arguing I didn't need an ambulance and could drive myself," she rolled her eyes again and sighed. "Next thing I know, an ambulance is bringing me to the hospital, mainly because I was alone. They got me upstairs, and it was finally registering that I was going to deliver a baby and soon. Soon didn't come. That was all around 12:30 yesterday afternoon. Again, it was all a blur. I knew from Emily and Ricky it should go quickly and figured she would be here by 8:00 or 9:00 last night. It was nothing like that. I labored all night. I had awful contractions after my water broke."

"Did you get an epidural?" he asked.

"No," she frowned. "I wanted to tough it out. I had epidurals with Emily and Ricky. This time, I wanted to do it on my own."

He eyed her, "Are you against them? I know some women are. What were you trying to prove? You pushed out a kid!"

"Hmm, except I didn't, not this time," she sighed. "I labored all night. The contractions started getting stronger around 6:00 or 7:00 last night. I said no to the epidural, but by 3:00 A.M., I was regretting that. She just started having trouble. They put these monitors on both of us, and hers started showing signs of distress. Plus, I was exhausted after over 12 hours of this, really longer because my doctor said I was probably in the early stages of labor the last few days. At 4:30 AM, the doctor wasn't happy with my progress, and I was taken for a C-section. She was born shortly after that, at 4:48 AM. It happened so quickly after they decided she wasn't doing well. That is what surprised me so much. Here, I'd labored all day, all night, and suddenly, she's out. So, no, I didn't push her out, but I am feeling beaten up right now. I am exhausted from the contractions, but I hurt, too, from the surgery. I've been cut open, and I feel awful. I can only imagine how she feels. I hope she feels better than I do."

At the mention of that, Andy, who had his hand braced on the bed next to where he sat, sat up straight like his hand on the bed had been hurting her, "Oh, I didn't even think of that. Are you okay?" His eyes widened, as he stared at her still quite large stomach. "I didn't know you had a C-section."

"I know," she nodded. "I just told you. I won't say I'm good or great. I'm in pain, and I'm old. I'm so old right now. I'm feeling every bit my age."

"I'm sorry," Andy gave her a sympathetic smile. "I hope Hannah calms down now and doesn't continue causing trouble for you. It sounds like quite an ordeal. I wish you would have called. I would have come to help. Where is Gavin?"

"And do what? I didn't need you to play the proud daddy and hold her first. I didn't need that. Gavin was here, but he had to go to the office. You just missed him, and I was going to get some sleep. He called my kids. As I said, I understand you wanting to come, wanting closure, but now you have it."

"You can't expect me to walk away with you just having surgery," he gestured to her. "I'm not that kind of guy. I'm a decent person. You just don't believe I can be, and you don't see it in what I've already done. I can help. Your car," he nodded. "Where is that? It's not like you will drive yourself home."

She sighed, "My car is at the OB's office. Ricky is flying home for the weekend to help. He is excited to meet his sister," she gave a small smile. "He and Gavin will take care of my car and anything else. I'm already laughing, thinking about Gavin driving my ordinary sedan with a car seat in it when he normally drives a Mercedes. Look, I can't drive for a couple weeks, but I don't want to anyway. Any food, Gavin will get, or I can order delivery. Ricky can run out this weekend and get preemie sized diapers and anything else I need. Hannah and I will be fine. I've had an exhausting few months. Between adjusting to a newborn and just getting back on my feet, we will be fine. I don't want to do much other than sleep, eat, shower, and care for her the next couple weeks anyway. None of that involves you. I'm not trying to be mean right now; I'm stating a fact."

Andy frowned as he listened. He looked over at Hannah, "Can I hold her at least?"

"No, I mean," she shook her head and sighed before she spoke again, "I don't think that would be a good idea." Andy eyed her, and she could tell he was going to say something, but she spoke first. "I just fed her. She fell asleep on me, and then the nurse helped get her situated while I got myself settled again."

"Oh, like breastfeeding?" Andy turned back to her, a questioning look in his eye.

Sharon rolled her eyes, "Yes, like breastfeeding. They serve a purpose, and no, you can't watch."

"I didn't say that! I wasn't even thinking that!" Andy started to speak loudly and then dropped his voice when he heard Hannah whimper. "You give me no credit. I was asking because I was interested. My wife never did that."

Sharon clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them, "I didn't either. Work was too much. Home was a mess. I didn't breastfeed, but I'd like to try now, at least to start."

"So, I mean, how is it? I've always wanted to ask, but I never had anyone around me I felt comfortable asking," he stated.

She sighed, "And, you feel comfortable asking me?"

"Yeah, I do," he smirked. "I think that considering I've seen it all and that you just gave birth to our daughter, I have a great reason to ask."

"You have to stop calling her yours," Sharon sighed and looked at her hands. "I know you wanted to see her, wanted to check on everything here, but we are both fine. Your part is done," she nodded toward Hannah. "Your part was done nine months ago when our carelessness led to her. I'm her parent, and I'm going to guard her with my life. She's my daughter and my everything. You don't have to worry about us. I think it's best you leave and not pick her up right now. She's sleeping and has had rough day, as have I."

Andy was quiet while he looked over at Hannah sleeping. She was all wrapped in her blanket. He wanted to unwrap her, to count her fingers and toes. He wanted to see if she had hair, but he just dropped his head. The reality of Hannah not being his was hitting him. He looked back to Sharon, "I'm glad she's okay. I'm glad you are okay. I never wanted this to be so hostile. I'm trying to get along for her."

"That is partly why I wanted you to sign the papers. There will be no shared custody. I appreciate the concern; I do. You've done more than you've needed to do. Really, we are okay," she explained to him.

Andy looked around and noticed the things he'd purchased at the gift shop. He reached behind himself to grab at them and nodded to her, "I brought you a few things. First, I brought some crackers and granola bars. I didn't know if you would have eaten, and this is what they had downstairs. I'll be glad to go get you something else. There's juice too if you are thirsty."

"No, that's fine. Thank you," she nodded. "I'm still a bit sick to my stomach, but those crackers might be perfect later today."

"Good," he nodded. "This little stuffed monkey is for Hannah," he pulled out from behind him. "It was either this or a pink unicorn. I didn't know if she was a girl or a boy. Gavin wouldn't tell me. You don't have to tell her it's from her dad."

Sharon's eyes widened hearing that, and she shook her head, "It's a monkey, like an ape?"

"Yeah?" he questioned. "Is that okay?'

"Fine," she said quickly. "It's fine. Thanks."

He nodded again, and he reached for the last thing, "I brought you flowers-yellow roses, which seemed neutral, in a bouquet because they were out of vases this morning. Now, this isn't some grand romantic gesture, but I mean, you are in the hospital. That's the decent thing to do, and after months of agony, you did just give birth to our kid. I hope they are okay. I can put them in water," he stood and looked around the room. Sharon just watched as he found a pitcher, filled it, and put the flowers in it. "There," he nodded. "I can see if the nurse can get you another pitcher."

"Those weren't necessary, but thanks," she pursed her lips again and gave him a single nod. He shrugged.

"Listen, I keep going over our argument from work. I'm sorry," he looked at her. "I went too far."

"Hmm," she nodded. She sighed and said, "The Jack comment bothered me."

"I know," Andy nodded. "I suppose that's why I said it. It bothers me when people assume Jack is her dad. I'm also sorry about the onion rings. I shouldn't have laughed about those. I know they make or made you nauseous."

"I'm sorry about a lot of things," Sharon paused, thinking over what she wanted to say. "We just need to part ways here, once and for all." The two were quiet. Without Hannah to look at right now, it was awkward, very awkward. Finally, Andy broke the tension.

"I guess I need to get back to work. You know I'll come if you need anything," he offered. She just gave a small nod. He walked back to Hannah, and he stopped to look at her. He stared at her a few moments while she slept. He leaned over and kissed her hat, and then stood toward Sharon. "She really is perfect. We made a good one, Sharon," he reached for her hand and squeezed it. She just looked to the baby, and he started for the door.

"Bye, Andy," she said, the use of his name almost startling him. He turned back to her, his hand on the door.

"Take good care of her," he nodded. "Can I come back later?"

She sighed and shook her head, "I don't think you should. It's best you leave us alone now. That's what I want."

"Knock, knock," both looked to the door. Andy was standing there, and one of the hospital staff was trying to walk into the room. "Hi, I'm here to look at her hearing." She walked to Sharon and showed Sharon her hospital identification. "I'm going to take her out and will bring her back if that's okay?"

"What's wrong with her hearing?" Andy stepped back into the room, a look of panic on his face. He walked to where Hannah was sleeping. The nurse was there too. "No one said anything about that. She's only a few hours old! How is there already something wrong with her?"

"Andy!" Sharon said, trying to get his attention. Hannah started to stir at that, and he looked to her. She gestured for him to move out of the way for the tech to take the baby. "There's nothing wrong with her hearing."

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry! I'm not trying to scare you. It's a hearing test. We check the hearing of each baby," she said with a sympathetic smile as she looked between the two. "It's standard procedure."

She looked between them, and Sharon nodded. Andy stepped out of her way, closer to Sharon's bed so she could wheel out Hannah. Andy ran one hand through his hair. Sharon reached over and patted his hand, "Her hearing is fine. That's standard, like she said. It's just like when you arrest someone. There is a standard procedure."

He looked over to her and nodded, "You're sure?"

"Yes, she should be just fine," she said, also with a sympathetic look. "I appreciate the concern, your worrying about her, but she's fine. You need to go, to get back to work. I'm going to rest. I'm her mom; I've got this."

He nodded. He thought about saying something, but he didn't. Instead, he walked toward the door and opened it. As he started to step out, he said, "You and Alfred-alone, just like you wanted. I know I was a crappy dad, but seeing her, I know I would have tried."


	25. Chapter 25

By Monday morning the next week, Andy was dying to see Hannah again, but he didn't have a good way of doing that. He wanted to know how Sharon was doing too, but she'd made it very clear he wasn't even needed as a friend. He suspected she had gotten home from the hospital okay and had gotten through the weekend because she'd mentioned Ricky would be home. Now that it was Monday, he was sure she was probably trying to settle into some semblance of a routine, but he also had a feeling she was exhausted and overwhelmed, not that she would ever admit to being overwhelmed.

So, when Julio piped up at work and suggested the team do something for the captain, Andy sat up in his chair to give his input. Provenza eyed him; the two had known about Hannah a full day before the LAPD rumor mill circulated down to them that Captain Raydor had delivered a healthy baby girl. Now, a few days later, Julio wanted to see the baby; he'd had a rough few weeks and had a soft spot for kids.

"Lieutenant Provenza, did the chief mention doing anything for the captain? I mean, I know she's not our favorite person, but still," he flashed a small smile, "she had a kid, and it's not the kid's fault Raydor is her mom. Plus, last thing our division needs to do is irritate her even more."

Provenza looked up from his crossword. Gabriel started to laugh, as did Mike. The laughter was contagious because Andy started laughing too. Provenza gave Andy a look, a 'really' type of look and shook his head. The team would be laughing a lot more if they knew Andy was Hannah's father.

"No," he shook his head. "Chief hasn't said anything about that. She's not into babies, if you haven't noticed. I'm sure she would be okay with anything, even for Radyor if we tell her. Chief should be excited Raydor is out of the office for weeks, and that alone should be reason to do something for her. Yes, Julio," he nodded, "we should do something and should see the little one."

"Provenza, Provenza," Mike shook his head and chuckled. "You are like a teddy bear. You've always liked kids, even if you don't want to tell people. Okay, people, we need an idea. I'm sure her department did something, and maybe even other departments did too. We can't look bad in this. She already is irritated by our group, so let's do the right thing. Maybe she will remember we were kind to her the next time she's on a case with us."

"Well," Gabriel put his finger to his mouth to think, "what about food? Julio, did that help your family recently? We thought food was a good idea and sent some to you, but if it was more trouble than it's worth, we could do something else."

Julio thought a moment and nodded, the death of his brother still very fresh, "Food is good. I've never seen my mom not want to cook, but she didn't want to cook for days. I'm sure the captain isn't into cooking right now either, especially if she's the only one home. Her husband isn't moving back in because of the kid, is he? I thought I heard he left town."

"He did," Provenza put down his crossword and sat up, trying to give the fact before Andy said something to give away too much. "Raydor is on her own. I know that for a fact. I'm sure anything you take her, within reason because she prefers healthier options as we know from eating around her on cases, will be well received, even by Radyor."

"I'm in," Andy nodded. "Hey," he flashed a grin, "anything that keeps Raydor out of the office sounds great to me. What do you need, Mike? Do you need food?"

"Ahh, sure," Mike nodded. "Julio, you want to head this up for the team? I was simply agreeing it was a good idea. It was your thought. I know Kathy, and she'll want to send some casserole too. I'll bring food."

Julio nodded, "Very good, Sirs. I would normally say my mom would make food, but I don't know if she's in the mood for that yet."

Andy shook his head, "Julio, you just let us handle that. Your mom and your family have a lot going on right now. I'll make a couple things. It gives me a reason to work in my kitchen, and while doing this, I can make something for myself. Provenza, that does not mean you have an invitation to come to my house and eat," Andy smirked.

"Well, if you are making something, Flynn, it's bound to not have meat. No thanks," he shook his head. "I'm not planning to contribute to this, but I'll go along with everyone to see Raydor's kid," he grumbled.

"Provenza," Andy called to him, "we are all doing something. I know you can too," Andy nodded to him.

"I'll send around a list," Julio said as he wrote on a legal pad. "Just write down whatever you are bringing or doing."

"I can get a gift for her," Buzz offered.

"Maybe we should just do a gift card," Gabriel suggested. "Julio, why don't you just send around an envelope instead, and everyone can throw in some cash. If you are making food or bringing something else, just write it on the outside of the envelope. People, cough up the cash," Gabriel motioned with his fingers. "Raydor is out of the office. Make it count. You can bring something if you want. Just note it. We can get money from Chief when she's back from her meeting with Pope.

"I can get the gift card," Andy raised his hand.

"Lieutenant, you are already making food," Julio pointed out to him.

Andy shrugged, "It's not a big deal. There's one of those baby store chains not far from where I live. I've seen that place all over the city, so that should work. I have to get groceries too. I don't mind." Andy was excited to get the gift card. He was going to round out the money to whatever he could with what the team contributed. Buying the gift card would also give him a chance to shop himself. He wanted to pick up a few things for Hannah. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in a baby store, but he was excited to go and shop. He wouldn't plan to take all his gifts to Sharon's condo, but he'd find something to take over and would see if the store could just send the rest. Yes, he nodded as he watched the envelope circulate. Picking out things and then having the store pack them up to ship to Sharon would avoid confrontation, and she couldn't exactly refuse them that way. If she hated him so much she wanted to return the items, well, that wasn't his problem.

The rest of the afternoon progressed smoothly. The money was collected. Gabriel took it upon himself to walk around with the envelope, and he convinced Brenda to donate when he reminded her that she wouldn't have to see or deal with the captain for quite some time. When it was all collected, Gabriel gave the envelope to Andy.

He eyed it quickly, taking a quick count of the money. Everyone had donated except him for the time being, and after he did a quick count, he looked to the group, "There's over a couple hundred dollars in here. I haven't even counted it all, not all the one-dollar bills, but wow, guys."

Gabriel chuckled, "You, as much as anyone, should know how excited we are she's out of the office."

"Oh, believe me," Andy nodded as he put the envelope in his desk drawer. "It's really nice not arguing with her. If nothing else, that will buy her a lot of diapers."

"The big question," Julio paused and looked around at everyone before he continued, "is who is going to call her? We can't just show up at her place."

"No, the captain won't do well with the element of surprise," Provenza enunciated the end of his statement. "Fine," he raised his hand when the team looked to him. "I'll handle it. I don't think we want to ask the chief to do it. She was okay throwing in money, but she's not going to want to go over there. We'll drag her, but fine, I'll call the captain."

The team continued to look at Provenza, and he finally rolled his eyes and dug out his phone. He shook his head and frowned. Andy sat at his desk, wanting to thank Provenza for helping with everything. She'd answer Provenza's call. It would not go well if he'd volunteered to call, and it would look odd to the team.

"Captain," Andy heard and looked to Provenza. The rest of the team was listening too. "Good morning. I hope I'm not calling at a bad time. Yes, well, we are working and glad to not have anyone from your office lurking right now. I didn't call about that. Listen, our division would like to stop by, briefly, just a drop by, if you have a day that works for you. We'd like to offer our congratulations to you and to the little one, Hannah, I believe."

Andy had to look down as to not smile at the mention of Hannah's name. He loved hearing it, and he was proud of how Provenza was handling the call. Provenza most definitely knew Hannah's name, and he was dealing with this awkward situation well.

Provenza was quite for a few moments while he listened to Sharon. He nodded, and then he spoke, "Well, it shouldn't come as a surprise our division is glad to have you out of the office for a few weeks," he chuckled. "Now, the flip side of that is we are stuck with the idiots in your department if anything goes wrong." He paused again and nodded. "Oh, your team is the only group you've heard from in the department?" He looked around the room and nodded, "We don't want to impose, but if you have an evening that works, I'm sure some of us will be available to stop by, again, just briefly."

The room was quiet as he waited and listened. "Next Thursday is okay?" he asked and nodded as he rocked in his chair and listened to her. "If we don't have a body, we will stop by next Thursday, say around 6:00? Thanks, Captain," he said and hung up the phone.

"Wow, Sir, you sounded so professional," Julio chuckled.

"It's times like this I wonder if being in charge of the likes of you is really worth it," he frowned and shook his head. "Never mention I had a civilized chat with Raydor, please. It's set. Whoever is free next Thursday evening, we'll go by after work. She was surprised we were offering to stop by, and I think she wanted to say no."

"Good work, Provenza," Andy called to him. "Just think of it this way, everyone," he smirked as he looked around the room and continued, "after next Thursday,"we won't have to see her for weeks."

The days dragged on, but finally the day arrived. Andy almost couldn't contain himself. He was proud that he hadn't bothered Sharon, hadn't called or sent her a text message, and he hadn't tried to sneak around to find out more. He'd left her alone, just as she wanted. Today, the team was going to check on her, on them. The team had discussed carpooling, and as usual, Andy and Provenza had discussed riding together. It was going to be good; he knew it. If nothing else, he'd see his daughter, and he really felt like Sharon would be on her best behavior too. He didn't expect a fight; he didn't expect much interaction at all, and that was fine with him. He'd bought the gift card, he'd purchased a few things himself, and he'd made food. He was ready to spend at least a little time with his little princess.

"Hey, thanks for doing this, for taking the lead and setting this up with Sharon," he looked over and nodded to Provenza. Provenza was in the passenger seat, grumbling about how Andy knew where she lived and because of that, could drive them. Provenza, who had been looking out the window, looked over at Andy.

"Sure, Flynn," he nodded and gave a small smile. "You know I'll do anything. You and I both know the grumbling, the bickering between us, it's all part of this, of being friends. Not that I will admit this to anyone else if you bring it up, but I've got your back. I'm watching out for you. When Julio suggested this, I saw an opportunity for you to see your daughter, even if for just a few minutes."

Andy gave him a small smile, "I appreciate it, Provenza. I've been really looking forward to this. I can't wait to see her. It's crazy that she's almost two weeks old already. She was sleeping when I saw her as I told you, and I didn't get any pictures of her. Crazy," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair before he continued, "she's my own flesh and blood, and I don't even have a picture."

Provenza nodded in silence, "You still haven't spoken to the captain?"

"Nah," Andy shook his head. "I gave her what she wanted, her space. It doesn't mean I've taken this visit lightly. I have put a lot of thought into this visit."

Provenza frowned and eyed him, "Just exactly what did you do? You did get that gift card from the team, didn't you?"

"Yeah, yeah," Andy waved him off and shook his head. "Of course, I did that. That was really nice. It ended up being a $350 gift card. I rounded it off to that. That was great. No, I just did some other shopping, shopping on my own. In fact, the clothing I ordered should have arrived to her condo today. I hope it already did. She can keep it or take it back; I really don't care. I picked out several things-clothes, a couple blankets, a few rattles and infant toys, a soft doll that she can eventually carry, a blanket bunny thing-you know, just some different things. I even tried to get different sizes on the clothes. I talked to one of the clerks. She helped me, said she had a two-year-old herself. She suggested I buy sleepers in different sizes so it would be for more than just right now. I know it's not much, but I hope Sharon will see I'm trying to be nice and still give her space. I just felt like I needed to do something."

Provenza nodded as he listened, "Just how much did you spend of your own money on that? I know you kicked in quite a bit for that gift card for her."

Andy shrugged, "The money doesn't matter. It's my kid. I should spend money on her, even if she will never know it."

"Little Hannah," Provenza chuckled, and the two grew quiet. Each started to think about Hannah. It wasn't the first time they had discussed her, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. After Andy had left the hospital when she was born, he sat in the parking lot for a few minutes letting his mind register everything that had happened. He had been up with Sharon and Hannah less than an hour. It felt like the time had flown by to him. He hadn't held her. He somewhat understood Sharon on that matter, but it was still hard to hear. He hadn't even taken a picture of her either. Andy had expressed that to Provenza, along with so much more over the last few days. Provenza had listened, but in every conversation, had reminded Andy he had given up any rights to Hannah, as hard as it was to hear. He'd pointed out that Sharon, or as he would only call her, the captain, had asked for Andy to not be involved. Situations like this, where the team was going over as a kind gesture, that was different. Work was different because the two did work together, and Hannah wasn't involved in that. It was hard for Andy to hear; he knew it, but knowing and accepting were two different things. Today, the men hoped that seeing Hannah again would help Andy start to accept things. He'd see her, and he'd get some information he didn't have. After that, Provenza was afraid he might have to drag Andy from the condo.

"Here we are," Andy called out as he pulled into the condo complex. Provenza looked around, as he hadn't been to Sharon's place before. No one on the team had, except Andy, and he didn't want to give that away now. Provenza had also warned him about that and suggested he just keep his mouth shut and stick to the background as the group visited with the captain. Yes, it was almost an odd thing to go see her, but she really did work with the whole building, more than many others did. She had spent her share of time with their division as well lately, and after the RV trip, the group had grown closer to her, even if they didn't want to admit it; that still didn't mean they liked her, but this was the respectful thing to do.

"Flynn, remember, keep your mouth shut and stick to the back of the group," Provenza warned as they stepped out of the car. Andy opened his back door to get the food he'd made. The team had loaded all the food into the backseat. Mike had brought a casserole, and Buzz had brought some muffins from his favorite bakery. Andy had made several dishes, but he had played that down too. He wanted to do whatever he could for Sharon and was going to take Provenza's advice to just keep his mouth shut as much as possible. The box of baby things he'd sent and the food were just two ways he could do something without wanting any credit for it. The baby items from the store, he'd put a note in that which had said, "I hope you can use these things for Hannah, a.k.a. Alfred. I enjoyed picking out everything." He knew Sharon would know the sender with that note, and he really didn't want to get any sort of response from her.

"Andy, need some help?" Mike called to him from his car. The rest of the team was now parked, and everyone was filing out to go upstairs. Brenda was eyeing the building.

"This is a nice building," she nodded. "I never looked in this area, but, I didn't really look around much when I moved here. Glad I didn't end up in the same building as Captain Raydor, but I would have looked at something like this if I'd known about it."

"Yeah, here guys," Andy started to grab food out of the backseat to hand to the team. He'd found an old picnic basket in his garage and had used that for some of his food, so it didn't look like he'd overdone it. He felt a need to care for Sharon, even though she'd been so nasty to him; he couldn't explain why he still wanted to help her, but the little girl upstairs was probably the biggest reason why.

"Let's go, people," Provenza waved at the group. "I want to be out of here by 6:30. I'm sure the captain would appreciate that too. We're not inviting ourselves to dinner. Let's see the baby, drop off our food, and we can get going."

"Oh, fine by me," Brenda nodded. "I'm excited because this will be the last time I have to see her for a couple months. That's great with me."

"Chief," Andy chuckled and shook his head. The group walked to the building, and then, at the elevator, they looked around at each other. Andy addressed the question they were all thinking, "So, I guess we should ride up in two groups?"

"Flynn, Mike, Julio, and I will ride up in the second load. The rest of you can ride in the first," Provenza explained. Everyone nodded, and the first group got into the elevator. Provenza called to Brenda, "Chief, don't wait on us. I'm guessing the captain's condo isn't huge. Go ahead and go inside. We'll be behind you."

"Lieutenant does that mean we can leave first too?" Brenda grinned. She didn't say more because the doors closed.

The four men waited in the lobby. Julio looked around and just nodded. Andy stood to the side, holding the basket of food. Mike had his casserole, and Provenza stood near Julio.

"Pretty nice place, Sir," Julio said to Provenza. Provenza just nodded in return.

"I don't think I could live in a condo," Andy made a face. "I like my space, having a yard, and I like just being in a house. I don't know," he shrugged. "I suppose when I'm as old as Provenza that could change."

Julio chuckled, "This building does have this nice elevator, Sir," he grinned at Andy and turned to Provenza. "Lieutenant, a building like this, you might find some ladies, like on a game night or something."

"I have no trouble with the ladies, Julio," Provenza rolled his eyes at him. "Why would you ever think I'd leave my house? I like my house. It is perfect. Besides, I'd never want to move or pack my things. Could you imagine? That sounds horrible. I like the décor just the way it is and the house just as it is. I'm never leaving."

Andy chuckled again, as the elevator arrived for them, "If Provenza doesn't die holding his stapler, we'll find him at his house in his recliner. Now, talk about an antique," he nodded. Mike chuckled, and the four stepped onto the elevator.

"Top floor," Mike noted and nodded. "Nice. I bet the captain has a sweet view."

"Yeah, we'll have to check that out," Julio added. "Bet the chief is on her way out when we get to the place." The four laughed and watched the numbers climb. When they arrived on Sharon's floor, they stepped off the elevator. Andy, as discussed, hung to the back with Provenza. The four walked down the hall and found the door to Sharon's condo open and could hear the others inside.

Mike and Julio walked inside. Andy looked over at Provenza and took a deep breath. Provenza nodded at him, and the two stepped into the condo, Andy just in front of Provenza.

"There they are," Brenda said as the four walked inside. "This baby is actually cute!" she flashed a small smile. "Come look at her."

"We brought food," Mike said, and Andy let out a small sigh of relief he didn't have to address Sharon. He eyed her, though, as she spoke briefly to Mike.

"Food? Oh, you didn't need to do that! That was very kind of you, Lieutenant Tao," she gave him a small smile. "Please, just put it on the counter for now. It's just around the corner."

"It wasn't just me-" he started to say, but Provenza interrupted him.

"Mike, guys, whoever has food, you heard the captain. Chief, I'm surprised you didn't bring Fritz. I know he likes kids," Provenza said. Sharon looked briefly at Andy, but he pretended not to notice out of the corner of his eye. His hands were full with the food, and he followed Mike to the kitchen area while the rest of the team walked over to where Sharon had Hannah in a small portable bassinet that was situated next to one of her side chairs. They team took turns looking at her before backing up to allow the others to check on her. Sharon had her arms crossed, and when Provenza, the last of the group, was fully inside, she walked to the door and closed it.

"Thank you for coming. This is a treat, I must say," she gave them a warm smile. Andy and Mike rejoined the group from putting up their food, and Andy glanced over at Hannah, a small smile on his face. He didn't have to hide it; the whole team was smiling at the sweet baby.

"Captain, she is very cute," Brenda said. "I hope you two are doing well."

"We are," Sharon clasped her hands together to change her stance. "We are both sleeping as much as we can. Recovery for me has been much harder this time around, but it's well worth it," she added.

"Ma'am, would you mind if we held her? I do love babies," Julio asked and flashed a grin.

"Oh, ahh, yes, that would be fine," Sharon moved toward Hannah. "If you don't mind washing your hands, I'd appreciate it."

"Sure thing, Ma'am," Julio nodded. "Where would you like me to do that?"

"Oh, the bathroom is down the hall," she pointed. Julio started down the hall, and Sharon picked up Hannah. Andy tried to hold back his grin. Hannah was wearing a very sweet purple sleeper with white flowers on it. He had seen it in the store and remembered buying the same one in a larger size. She also had on a little white hat. He thought of the package he'd sent and glanced around the room, casually, hoping to spot it. He didn't see it, and he hoped she hadn't stuffed it in the trash.

"I'd love to hold her too, Captain," Buzz gave her a nod and smile. "There aren't babies in my family yet, so I am never around them."

"Of course," Sharon nodded. Julio returned, and Buzz walked by him to head down the hall. Andy leaned over to Provenza as Julio sat, and Sharon placed Hannah in his arms. The two men were standing near the dining room table.

"Don't say anything," Provenza shook his head at Andy. "When Buzz returns, I'm heading that way. You follow after me." Andy just nodded, glad Provenza understood Andy wanted to hold the baby. He wasn't sure what Sharon would do when it came time to ask her, but he hoped she would allow it with the team there.

"Chief, aren't you going to hold her?" Julio grinned at Brenda. "She's tiny, Captain. She's so sweet." Hannah was stirring, still with her eyes closed, but she had started to make several small noises. Julio grinned up to the group, "I love it when babies make their baby noises. Buzz," he looked to Buzz and nodded. Buzz moved quickly to the couch to sit where he could hold her next. Julio, who was also on the couch, leaned over and gave Hannah to Buzz.

"Yes, like that," Sharon explained to Buzz as she nodded to him about how he was holding Hannah. "Just keep one hand behind her neck as you support her head." Buzz nodded and put Hannah more in his lap and supported her head with his hand.

"Wow, she's squirmy," he started to laugh. "I know I've never held a baby this small."

"Captain, how much does she sleep?" Brenda asked. "I remember when my niece, Charlie was born, she slept during the day, but she kept them up at night. "She the same?"

Sharon chuckled and kept her eyes on Hannah as she answered, "She did a little of that the first few days. She's getting better. So much of it is just adjusting. She's sleeping around three hours at a time right now. That's normal. At some point, she will start to stay awake more between sleeping. Right now, though, she's sleeping, waking up to eat, and then almost immediately falling back asleep. I'll enjoy that for now because I know she could start walking up and crying more and more at any point."

"You're lucky, Captain," Mike nodded. "I had a screamer. My youngest, he just cried all the time. If he'd been the first, I'm not sure my wife and I would have had other kids."

Sharon nodded in agreement, "Hmm, that was Emily for me. She was my screamer, my oldest. My son, he was very quiet, and so far, Hannah is like him. My pregnancy with her was similar to Ricky's, so maybe there is something in that. We'll see," she shrugged.

"My turn," Provenza returned from the hall. He gestured for Julio to move from the couch, "Julio, I'm sitting there."

"Sure thing," he nodded and stood. He looked to Sharon, "Ma'am, as grumpy as the lieutenant is, he loves kids."

Andy moved down the hall to wash his hands. When he finished and walked out of the bathroom, he noticed the room across the hall had a crib in it. He smiled, noting it was Hannah's room. The door was mostly open, and he stood in the hall but took a quick glance into the room. She'd decorated with purple and green. The room was very simple. The walls were an off white still, most likely the original color, and she'd just added a white crib, changing table, and then bedding. The bedding was purple and green stripe. There was a rocking chair in the corner with a pink blanket draped over one of the arms. He nodded his approval of the room, and as he turned to rejoin the group, he noticed his box on the floor next to the changing table. He looked down and could just see the corner of the box. It was almost out of view from the doorway, and upon inspection, he could see it was open. She'd received the package; he couldn't control what she did with it now, but he was glad to see it had at least made its way to Hannah's room. Not wanting to miss a moment more, he walked back to join the group, noting a door, most likely Sharon's bedroom was closed. It was sad, really, that the last time he'd been here, they had spent all their time in just the entry and living room. He hadn't been anywhere else in the condo and had barely spent any time in the condo. When he walked back, he stood toward the back and watched. Provenza was on the couch, and Sharon had taken a seat next to him. Buzz was now standing too.

"Well, Captain, I don't know how you got such a cute kid, but you did. Now, I'd better not see anyone taking pictures of me holding Raydor's offspring," he looked around to the group.

"Sir, that's a great idea," Julio grinned. He dug out his phone.

"Gabriel, want to hold her?" Provenza looked up and asked.

"Me? No," he shook his head. "Sorry, Captain, but I'm not a baby kind of person. I mean, she's sweet and all, but I'm not into holding babies."

Sharon chuckled, "It's okay. I completely understand."

"How are you feeling, Captain?" Mike asked. "Did things go well at the hospital?"

Sharon pursed her lips as she looked at Provenza holding the baby. Julio started taking pictures, and she then looked up to answer Mike, "I'm doing okay. I have a long way to go until I feel myself again, but she's worth it," she turned and squeezed Hannah's foot. "Things didn't go well at the hospital. I ended up having a C-section, but I'm managing. The food from you is very kind. I will enjoy all of it, especially since I'm not yet cleared to drive."

"Captain, I didn't realize that. We could have sent someone out for groceries for you, or better, I could have brought over all my take-out menus," Brenda said. The team laughed. Provenza looked up to Julio taking pictures.

"Julio, stop that!" Provenza said, half serious. "I can't be seen enjoying this. Here," he looked to Andy. "Flynn, you take the kid now. I've got to get that phone from Julio before he starts sending pictures. Buzz, show me how to delete pictures."

"Not a chance, Sir," Julio grinned. "I'm sending the pictures to my email as we speak."

Provenza, again half joking, looked to Andy and shrugged. Andy's eyes widened, and he quickly moved to the side chair to sit and accept Hannah from Provenza. He had no idea Provenza was going to pass Hannah to him this way, but it was perfect.

"Oh," Sharon started to move her hand out to stop Provenza, but he was already halfway standing and passing her to Andy. Andy, who still didn't say anything, took Hannah and sat in the chair, as he smiled brightly at her.

"Hey, Pumpkin," he grinned. The group chuckled, and Andy looked up, purposely not looking at Sharon and shrugged. "Hey, what? It's what came to me. I used to call my daughter that same thing. I called my son 'Little Man,' so be grateful I didn't just call Hannah that."

"Julio," Provenza nodded and pointed at him, "get a picture of that. If you took my picture, get Flynn too and send it to me."

"Sir, I doubt her name has 'Pumpkin' in it," Julio chuckled. "What is her middle name, Ma'am?"

"Marie," Sharon smiled. "It was my mother's middle name and my grandmother's. I don't know why I didn't get that middle name, but I didn't. My mom was upset when I didn't use it for Emily, which I thought was odd considering she didn't use it for me, but I seemed to have redeemed myself by using it for at least one of my daughters now," she explained and gave a small smile to the group.

"Hannah Marie Raydor," Gabriel nodded.

Andy, now stunned, cleared his throat, "My daughter, Nicole, that is her middle name too." He didn't look at Sharon when he said that. He hadn't known Hannah's middle name, and he was certain Sharon didn't know Nicole had the same middle name.

"I think she's probably about ready to eat," Sharon coughed, looked around to the group, and then, she looked to her watch. Andy knew the detail about the middle name had thrown her.

"Right, we need to get out of your hair," Brenda said. "My car, let's go."

"Correction," Gabriel grinned, "the car the chief is riding in is going."

"Let me get the door," Sharon stood. "I can take Hannah too," Sharon started to offer, but Andy, again not looking at her, waved her off.

"I'm good, Captain. Go ahead and do whatever you need to do. We had to come upstairs in two elevators, so we should leave in shifts anyway," he said, his attention completely on Hannah. He didn't see the panic on Sharon's face as she continued to watch him hold the baby. She did try to focus on walking the first group to the door.

"Thank you again for coming," she said. "I appreciate it."

"Good luck to you, Captain," Brenda said. "Oh, did you get the gift from the team?"

"Oh, I have it, Chief," Andy said. "It's a gift card from everyone. It's sitting on top of the food."

"Well, thank you, everyone," Sharon nodded and cleared her throat. Andy glanced up and could see she was nervous. She said goodbye to the first group, and as they left, she closed the door and turned back to the others.

"Ma'am, I'm glad we could see her. I'm sure when you return to work, she'll look so different. You'll have to bring her by the department at some point. We'll let you in with a baby," he grinned.

Sharon let out a nervous laugh, and Andy could tell she was ready to snatch Hannah from him. He stared into his daughter's eyes, still a grayish color, and he looked at her features, trying to memorize them. He knew Julio had taken a few pics, but he didn't know how many. He wanted to take one himself.

"I'll just put her down," Andy said as he stood and rotated to put her in the bassinet. The others started to the door, and Provenza got Sharon's attention. "Captain, that's quite a view," he told her.

Sharon nodded, and while she was looking and talking to Provenza, Andy ran his hand along Hannah's face. He pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly took a picture. It wasn't hard to do so with the angle in which he was leaning over the bassinet. He stood and noted Julio, Mike, and Provenza were talking to Sharon about the view. He wanted to hug the men; yes, Provenza knew about the baby, but the others did not, and they'd helped in the distraction so he could take a picture.

"Let's go, everyone," Provenza nodded when he made eye contact with Andy. Andy gave a simple nod too.

"Ahh, thank you for coming," Sharon said, as she cleared her throat again. This time, Andy was the first to the door, only because he didn't want to have to speak to Sharon. He opened it, and to not sound rude, he said, "Enjoy your time with her, Captain." He stepped into the hall and didn't hear anything else said to the other men. When Julio followed him out, Andy walked to the elevator. The ride down, he didn't speak. He really didn't remember it; he was still going over the few precious moments he had with his daughter.

"She is so tiny," he heard and looked up to see Julio grinning.

"Yeah, she is," Andy said as they stepped off the elevator. "Crazy how fast babies grow, though."

"Gentlemen, I'm going for a drink," Provenza said, slapping Andy on the back. "Flynn, you are driving me."

"That's my cue to not be part of any of that," Mike pointed to the two men. "Julio, let's go."

"Night, guys," Andy called to them. Andy and Provenza walked to Andy's car, and the two men got in and closed the doors.

"You did well, Flynn," Provenza gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I appreciate you passing Hannah to me. Thanks," Andy nodded to him.

"It's the least I could do. You finally held your daughter," Provenza shrugged. "How was it?"

"Amazing," Andy told him, still nodding. "I hate myself for leaving her. Now, I have to live with it."


	26. Chapter 26

She heard the knocking at the door and sighed, almost not wanting to answer it. She knew if she didn't, he would just keep knocking and eventually would resort to calling her. She decided it was best to deal with him now. She put down the books she had in her hand, and she made her way to the door.

"Yes, Gavin," she said in her sarcastic tone and hand on her hip. She hadn't lost her baby weight yet, very little of it to be exact. She'd gained an extra 53 pounds when she had given birth to Hannah, and now, even two months later, she was still up 40 pounds over what she wanted. Nothing fit, but that had been the story of her life for the last year or so now.

"Sharon," he eyed her up and down as he shook his head. He handed her a shopping bag in one hand, almost like it was dirty and needed to get rid of it. "I've come with gifts."

She raised her eyebrow, "That does not get you off the hook with me."

"I know, "he shrugged and moved by her to invite himself into the condo. "Where is the little sweet pea?"

Sharon rolled her eyes and crisply said, "She took my car out for a spin."

"Hmm," he nodded and continued, "I knew I hadn't been by in a few days, but she really is growing up quickly."

Sharon crossed her arms, the bag hanging from one of them, and she watched as he walked toward the bassinet, obviously looking for Hannah.

"She's not there," Sharon stated and tilted her head at him.

He spun around as he stopped quickly and turned back to her, "Room?"

She sighed loudly, now over her irritation with him and gestured with her free hand. He broke out into a smile, and he moved down the hall. She followed him. For not being interested in kids, Gavin was interested, at least in Sharon's kids. He'd brought something for Hannah each time he'd been over to visit, and by the looks of the bag in her hand, this visit was no different. She walked into Hannah's room and found him looking at her.

"Don't wake her!" she quietly hissed. He turned back toward her and waved her off as he tried to focus on Hannah. The next thing Sharon knew, he had Hannah in his hands and was picking her up. Sharon just groaned.

"Oh, stop," he turned and scowled at her. "She was already awake, kicking those feet of hers. You didn't even know she was awake."

Sharon raised an eyebrow, "She can be awake on her own back here and just look around in her crib. If she's not crying, that's a good thing."

Gavin looked at Hannah, "Hannah, you have such a mean mom. She doesn't even want to carry you around," he shook his head. He made a face and handed her to Sharon. "She needs her diaper changed."

Sharon crossed her arms, the bag still in it, and she nodded toward the changing table, "Great, thank you for changing it," she smirked. "And, do not make me feel like a terrible mother. I already do. I have her with me, on me, in my eyesight almost every minute of the day. She's getting big for that bassinet, and she's not napping in it well. Besides, it was quiet back here, and I could get some packing done."

He frowned at her, accepting his defeat, and he walked to the changing table. He started to undress Hannah, as it wasn't his first time changing her either. He glanced toward Sharon as he did. "How is the packing? I can't believe you are leaving."

She gave him a small shrug, "It's going well. It's been nice to sort through things. I don't have a lot, really. I already have a few things in storage, and as you know," she looked around Hannah's room, "her room is mostly packed, either because I packed it or because I never unboxed it."

He nodded and leaned over to make a face at the baby. She was making small sounds and blowing bubbles at him while she kicked her legs in the air. He grinned at her, and still in his adult voice said, "Sweet Hannah, my, my, you are getting big. That mean mom of yours is going to take you away from me."

"You make me sound awful! I'm not just taking her away from you. We've discussed this. I've wanted a fresh start for months, even before she was born. You know how to drive a car; you know how to get on a plane. This is going to be a very good move for us," she explained to him. He finished with Hannah and picked her up again. He flashed a scowl at Sharon and walked out of the room and down the hall with Hannah. He walked over to her swing and put her in it while he then sat in the chair to watch her.

"I know we've talked about it, but it's finally happening. I just don't like it. It's not like you are a quick two-hour drive away or something, and to get to you, I have to drive across that awful desert. Well," he rolled his eyes, "that's assuming I drive, which more than likely, I won't. Even flying to you isn't easy."

Sharon shook her head, "You have access to plenty of private planes with your connections. Hop a flight to Phoenix even. It's not that far from there, a beautiful drive, just a couple more hours."

He frowned at her as she sat down on the couch for a few moments. She let out her breath and glanced at him, "What?"

He gestured to the bag, "Well?"

She rolled her eyes, unaware she even still had the bag in her hand. She opened it, and then she eyed him before she started to pull things out of it. "Gavin, I thought this was for Hannah."

He shrugged, "There is something in there for her; designer baby clothes are so fun," he winked. "You need a few things too. Mom needs to look as designer-styled as baby."

Sharon scowled, "I look terrible. I'm nowhere near the weight I would like to be, and there's a possibility it may not ever happen. My doctor said I'm rushing it, but the weight isn't coming off like I want. I am going to cry if my clothes never fit again. I have just a few tops that fit, and none of my pants fit."

"Yes," he clapped his hands together, "which is why I bought you that. I guessed on size based on what you used to wear. Don't mind that; just see if it fits."

"Two silk blouses?" she eyed him. He shrugged.

"Professor, you are going to need to look the part. I know your current things don't fit. This will help tide you over until you can get back into your suits and normal clothing. Now, we are going to need to get you a couple suits too for this new job."

"First," she pointed at him, and both smiled at Hannah as she made a shrieking sound. She continued to kick her feet in her swing. Sharon continued, "I am not a professor. I am a classified as a visiting lecturer right now with the possibility for more. Second, I have half a mind to not pack a single clothing item of mine because unlike you, I am NOT convinced anything will ever fit."

He shook his head with a frown, "You'll pack it. I'll pack it for you. When are the movers coming?"

"A week from today, finally," she nodded. "I confirmed that this morning. If a word of this gets out before it is supposed to with work-my work here-I will be extremely upset with you. This cannot be another Hannah update-type slip."

He smirked, "That won't happen again. You are just now finally speaking to me. I apologize for telling him about Hannah. I ran into him at the courthouse, and he just happened to ask if you and Hannah were doing okay. I mentioned she'd had her last check-up and was doing great. I'm glad my peace offering here helped today. I am surprised you stayed mad for a week."

"Hmm," she nodded to him. "I'm still mad, but considering I'm leaving in a week, I decided it was best to deal with you now. Yes, that last week with you telling him about Hannah cannot happen again."

"I still don't see a problem, Sharon. He has left you alone completely. He hasn't been here since you told me that what, the team came by, right? She was just home from the hospital, and he's left you alone. It's bene two months. I don't think you have to worry he's going to be bothering you."

"I just need to start over as I've told you. I've been planning to retire when Ricky graduated. I'm just three years early on that plan, but that is all because of Hannah. I don't want anything to happen to me at work that would leave her without her mother. I don't want to work long and crazy hours while she is left with just anyone. I've had to do that, and I understand it. It's a way of life. I'm finally in a position where I can change that, where I have options. I'm choosing to retire, relocate, and start a job I've always wanted."

"A professor?" he eyed her.

She waved at him. Hannah started to fuss, and Sharon stood to get her, waving off Gavin. "She's hungry. Let me feed her." He made a face, and she laughed, "No, you don't have to see everything. Honestly, Gavin, I didn't think breastfeeding would bother you."

"I know you said it doesn't hurt you, but that's all I see. It just looks awful to me, but I have no problem with you doing that. I just cringe watching it, imaging that pain," he explained. Sharon picked up a blanket off the side of the couch, got situated with Hannah, and when she had Hannah feeding, she looked back to Gavin.

"Now, where were we-oh, right, I told you I'm not a professor. I'm just a lecturer right now. If things go well, they plan to bring me on full-time as soon as they have an opening."

"See, that's why I think this is a mistake. You don't even have a full-time job. It's part-time, and they hope it works out. What if it doesn't?"

"I will be getting my pension from here. I'm going to rent the condo here, and that should rent very quickly once I get out of here and list it with a property manager. I'm going to rent myself in the interim and see how things play out for me. It's an adventure. I'm excited, and you will come visit. You'd better," she nodded at him.

He made a face at her, "Arizona is hot."

"Not always, especially not in Flagstaff. It's much cooler there. I told you they get snow."

"Nothing good comes from Arizona," he argued.

"Hey!" she raised her voice to him and chuckled. "I'm from Arizona, which is one of my factors as I've told you. My parents are aging. I need to be a little closer to them to check on things. They are doing well now, but you and I both know that could change quickly. They can't easily get here, or I should say, they don't like Los Angeles and won't come here. I want Hannah to know her grandparents as long as they are still alive. I'm not stupid. I know some women my age have grandchildren-thankfully, I do not, but I'm an old mom," she rolled her eyes, "and Hannah needs family around her."

"Well," Gavin started to say, but Sharon pointed at him.

"Not a word. We are not getting into this again. I'm talking to you after you told him about her last week. Don't make me send you packing right now. I'll even send the silk shirts with you."

"You won't," he shook his head. "You already like them. The colors are going to be great on you. Are you sure she doesn't hurt you?" he nodded.

Sharon looked down and saw Hannah kicking her feet while she was nursing. She glanced at Hannah and started to laugh. She looked back at Gavin, "She's almost asleep, and no, she's not hurting me. I won't lie; it feels odd at times, but she's not hurting me."

The two were quite for a few moments. They could hear Hannah as she continued to make sounds. Sharon patted her diaper as she fed, and Gavin glanced around at the condo. He nodded, "Looks like you are about done out here."

"I am," she nodded.

"What can I do to help?" he asked.

She pursed her lips, "Order dinner, maybe? We can finish packing the kitchen while we wait on dinner. She'll be almost ready for bed. I want to give her a quick bath, and then I think she will be ready to go back to sleep. She didn't sleep much this last nap today."

He nodded, "Sure." Gavin stood and walked to her counter where she had the take-out menus sitting out. He held them up, and when he cleared his throat, Sharon turned to him. He fanned out the choices, "Something healthy," she said. "I have to lose this weight."

He shook his head, "Fine, soup and salad. I'll call it in."

Two hours later, it was getting late, and yet, they'd made a lot of progress. Sharon had finished feeding Hannah, had given her a bath, and she'd put her to bed. Gavin had ordered dinner, and then, he'd worked on a briefing while waiting for Sharon to finish with Hannah. They'd eaten when the food had arrived, and now, they were closing another box in the kitchen.

"I'm out of boxes in here," she made a face as she looked around at the stack. "I still need several, but I don't want to take any of the boxes I have marked for my bedroom. I'll just pick up more tomorrow."

He nodded, "I need to get home and finish my work for tonight. You have an amazing friend who would come here after work and help you with everything."

"Hmm, if only he'd not talk to certain lieutenants," she enunciated. "I'm just glad he didn't piece together she had her check-up a week early with all this moving going on right now. Honestly, I thought he would be a thorn in my side. I've been surprised he'd stayed away, especially after he sent that huge box for her after she was born and then made all that food."

"I told you I didn't tell him anything! I don't know what the big deal is anyway. He signed that paperwork. I was there; you were there. It's official. He can't stop you from moving, and as I've said, he's stayed away. He's going to find out anyway, but no, I didn't tell him you were moving. Now, we have discussed what a good cook the man is. That was some good food. I can't believe he made you five casseroles. That was crazy. You barely had enough room in your freezer."

"Yes, I know," she sighed. "I thought with all that, he'd be stopping by all the time, texting me for an update. I'm so relieved he's not been around, but you telling him about her doesn't help."

"Discussed and understood," he nodded. "Back to the work conversation," he gestured at her.

"Look, I realize the LAPD will know soon enough I've decided to retire and move. I would just like to be out of town and all set in my new life before that happens. Last thing I need is anyone trying to stop me when he has no claim to her," she sighed.

He nodded and moved to the table to collect his paperwork, "When are you supposed to go back to work?"

She cleared her throat as she followed him and stood next to him while he finished, "After I got the job offer, I spoke to Pope. You know that. That was back in July, and at the time, I warned him that if it got out before January 1st,, I would have his job. Originally, that was going to be my return date, before I got the job offer. Remember, Hannah was a little early, and at the time, I was thinking that would be the best option. So, I'd negotiated that. After Hannah was born, Pope asked if I wanted to come back December 1st to finish the year before moving. I told him I didn't. The new semester starts in January, and I want to be in place before the holidays. Anyway, I told him now that not a word should be out before December 1st. Everyone thinks I will return then, and he gave me his word on that. I know it's Pope, but still," she rolled her eyes.

"You are walking out like you did something wrong. I just don't want you to regret that. You have been a fantastic officer with an amazing career. You're retiring after maternity leave. People are going to want to wish you well. It's just something to consider," he nodded to her. "I'll be back. I'm going to check on Hannah before I leave."

"Don't wake her," she called to him. She looked around the house, happy with her progress. This move would be good. She wasn't going to regret it. It was time for a change. She was done with the LAPD, and Gavin was wrong. People would not want to wish her well. Instead, she envisioned everyone clapping and having a party when they realized she was gone. This was for the best. It was a little odd, retiring this way, but there wasn't anything that could be done about it. HR had been okay with it too, and right now, Pope and the HR supervisor were the only people from work who knew her plan. She hated springing this on her office, but they would adjust. Her lieutenant could handle things until a replacement was selected; he already was with her out now. She also had to admit it would be nice not seeing Andy. She wasn't hiding from him, but it was going to be nice not running into him in the building. As she'd thought about her future throughout her pregnancy, she just wanted to get away from everyone. Thankfully, he'd agreed to sign the paperwork so that would allow her to easily move; there would be no custody battle or anything else. She was serious when she'd told him to move on with his life. He'd given her something wonderful; sure, at the time, when she found out she was pregnant, it didn't seem wonderful, but she now had this amazing little girl to raise, and she was going to do it the way she wanted.

"I didn't wake her," he flashed a smile. "Now, promise me you aren't going to move before I see you again, right?"

"I told you the movers are coming in a week. Besides, that, Halloween is just two days away. I expect you will want to see Hannah in that ridiculously expensive little outfit you bought her. Am I correct?"

"Oh, right!" he clapped his hands. "Well, she had to have a ballerina outfit like her big sis. The little tutu around it is too cute. I do have a soft spot for my best friend's girls." He leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"I know you do," she sighed. She returned the kiss. "Thank you for coming over to keep me company and help me pack. I know you love her and the rest of us. Just know I'm doing what is best," she eyed him.

"I'm out for the night," he winked, not answering her. "Call me if you need me before Halloween. I'll keep an eye out for boxes at work. I think my staff thinks I'm moving," he chuckled. "Get some sleep, Sharon. Don't go eat a snack. That won't help with the clothing issue you keep mentioning."

"Night, Gavin," she smiled and opened the door for him. He waved, and she closed the door when he disappeared around the corner. She sighed, a happy sigh, as she looked at her boxed up condo. She nodded to herself. This would be a fresh start. She needed sleep, but before that, she needed to try on the blouses Gavin had bought her. She had no doubt he'd spent way too much money on them, but she had to admit that she needed the clothing. New clothes, a hot bath, and bed. Tomorrow was another day closer to her new life.


	27. Chapter 27

Andy folded himself into the car and shut the door. He put his head against the headrest and sighed before he turned to Provenza, "Hey, thanks for picking me up this morning. Sorry to drag you all the way to the airport this early."

"Just glad your flight is on time," Provenza muttered. "Now, you've flown all night. Have you eaten yet? I'm guessing not, and I was thinking you could take me to breakfast for picking you up today." He started driving, and Andy glanced at him and chuckled. He continued to chuckle as he looked back out the window.

"Nah, I haven't eaten, so by all means, pick what you want. Man, it feels good to be back in L.A. right now. It was so depressing in New York, both the weather and the circumstances," he explained.

Provenza nodded and continued to drive, "How's your sister? I know you've only told the team you were visiting your sister, but let's discuss the real story."

"She had a biopsy and is waiting on the results. I hate that I had to leave her there in limbo, but I'm glad I could at least be there for the biopsy. She's trying to put on a brave face, but I'm fearful of the worst. I just have this sick feeling I can't shake that she's got cancer," he sighed. He put his hand up to his face and rested it on the side door of the car. "What's worse is that we dug around and found out more family history. You know my ma died in her 50's, and my dad barely remembers anything now. We think she, my mom, probably had some type of cancer too. It just came on suddenly, and she got sicker and sicker. Ma refused to do anything. She said when it was her time, it was her time. Her sister, my aunt, had breast cancer. Their brother, my uncle, had throat cancer, so this isn't good. I mean, Provenza, she's sick; my sister could be really sick. Obviously, there is cause for concern."

Provenza nodded and continued to drive, "Sorry to hear that. What about you?"

"I mean," he shrugged, "I have my yearly physical. So far, so good, but the doc there even said to watch for it and to make sure the kids know and check on it. There's definitely a family history there, and it could go back other generations. I think my great grandfather died without reason, like he wasn't that old, but with my ma gone now, it's harder to get the information. Angela's biopsy should be back in a couple more days. We'll see."

"She's in New York. That's good. She will get good care. What have the doctors said?" Provenza asked.

Andy nodded, "Yeah, that's true. She knows she's in a good place for good care. If she has cancer, they are going figure out a plan and then, more than likely, start treatment. I just can't lose her. She's the one person in my family who loves me unconditionally. She's been there for me through it all. She's my sister," he sighed. "I love her, and I don't want anything to happen to her. Oh, let me tell her I've arrived," Andy said as he dug out his phone. The car was quiet for a couple minutes as Andy sent a message to his sister. Provenza glanced over and saw him typing and waiting for a reply. Finally, Andy put his phone down and looked out the window. "Glad to be back, even if I'm going right to work."

"Yeah, well, you haven't missed much here. Work has been surprisingly quiet, but with the holidays quickly approaching, it's bound to pick up soon. Chief has been on a candy high since Halloween a week ago," he rolled his eyes. "I'm sure she will leave you alone and won't ask many questions if you just show up and give her a bag of candy."

"Already thought of it," Andy grinned. He nodded his head to the backseat where he had his small suitcase and carry-on bag. "I picked up some candy in the airport for Chief. I am no rookie."

"Yeah, well, before we face her, let's get some food," he nodded to the restaurant on the side of the road. "I've been wanting to eat here for awhile. It's been almost a year since we've eaten here."

Andy glanced up at the small diner and just nodded. His phone alerted him to another text, and he picked it up, read it, and sighed.

"Please tell me we don't have a case" Provenza said to Andy as he parked.

"No, no case, just Angela again. She is just reminding me to talk to the kids and let them know about the family history. I told her I would do that, but I wanted to find out her biopsy results first. Nic and Nate aren't exactly rushing to answer my calls. I'd like to have the facts before me before I speak to them. Yeah, they will need to know if their aunt has cancer, for that, and also for themselves. The family history is alarming, and they need to know."

Provenza eyed him, "Are you limiting your knowledge to just those children?" He had parked the car and turned it off before he turned to look at Andy. Andy dropped his head and just shook it. "I've been surprised you've kept your distance as you promised, but you just said this is something your kids may need to know. So?"

"Let's go inside so we can eat," Andy suggested. "Look, I've already thought about that. I even spoke to Angela about that, and yeah," he nodded. "Let's eat, and I'll explain."

The two made their way into the restaurant, which was bustling with the early morning. The guys liked the place because the food was good, the service was quick, and the prices were within their budgets, or rather., Andy's budget. The diner mostly catered to construction workers and the like, which was perfect for Provenza and Andy. They didn't want pretentious or expensive food. They wanted a quick meal around others with the same idea.

It only took them a couple minutes to order, Andy selecting the oatmeal and two eggs with wheat toast. Provenza selected the special, which included three pancakes, an egg, hash browns, and three pieces of bacon. Andy cringed as Provenza ordered it, but when the waitress left the table, Andy met Provenza's gaze.

"Okay," he put his hands flat on the table to speak. "So, yeah, I told Angela everything about Sharon and Hannah."

"Are you serious?" Provenza asked, eyes raised in shock. "You told her everything? I didn't think you were going to tell anyone. What if your kids find out?"

"Yeah, I told her," Andy waved his hand in the air. The two men paused when the waitress delivered the coffee. Andy then took the creamer and poured it, while Provenza waited. Andy started on the sugar packets, and Provenza just eyed him, finally putting his hand on Andy's after he'd put in three.

"Flynn, focus. You've put enough cream and sugar in that coffee to last three cups. Why did you tell her?" Provenza asked.

Andy sighed and frowned, "It's complicated. I talked to her a lot on this trip. She and I get each other. I mean, she's my sister. We have this bond. We got to talking. She's freaking out about her health, rightly so. Anyway, she started telling me how looking back, her one regret was she got divorced and never had kids, not that that dirt bag she married was worth anything. Anyway," he tilted his head back and forth, "she got to saying that she'd enjoyed her life, that she was glad she was no longer married to the creep, but looking back, she wished she'd had kids, that she really wished she had kids of her own in her life. She got to telling me to make amends with my kids, which I told her I've been trying. She told me to keep trying, that she wished the kids were closer to both me and to her. It was kinda sad, and anyway, she told me that I should be grateful for the kids because they were mine, no matter what some step-parent did or said. Then, she started getting worried about them carrying this cancer mess like she might, you know, that it's being passed from generation to generation. With that, she basically begged me to work on things with the kids and talk to them when I got home. Then, it just sorta slipped out."

"Slipped out?" Provenza asked after sipping his coffee. "Flynn, now, I might believe that the creation of little Hannah might just have happened, but I don't believe telling your sister about this daughter of yours just slipped out. Spill."

Andy dropped his head and looked to his coffee. He folded his hands and looked at Provenza, "Whatever you want to call it, I decided then and there to come clean with her. I don't lie to her. I never have and never will, just like I don't lie to you. I told her that I was working on things with my kids, but that I'd royally screwed up things with one of my kids. That had her asking me what I'd done wrong with Nate or Nicole, and I remember shaking my head at her and telling her I wasn't talking about either of them."

 _"So, ahh, I have another kid," Andy sighed and looked her in the eye, his arms resting on his knees. Angela was relaxing in her recliner, the footrest up, and she had a blanket over her. The two had just come from the hospital where she'd finished her biopsy and was now home resting. Andy's news surprised her so much, she sat up quickly._

 _"You what?" she asked, her tone now crisp. "Andy, you cheated on Sandra when you were married? How dare you!"_

 _"Hey, hey, hey!" he held up his hands. "It's not what you think. It's not that at all. No, I never cheated on Sandra. This is recent, very recent," he nodded._

 _"What?" she exclaimed, and Andy reached over to pat her hand to get her to relax. He nodded to her, indicating he would explain._

 _"I have another daughter," he told her and smiled softly. "Her name is Hannah."_

 _Angela narrowed her gaze, "You have to be kidding me. Why haven't you mentioned her?"_

 _Andy raised his hands, "It's complicated, very, believe me," he sighed._

 _"How old? Where does she live? Who is the mother?" Angela started spitting out the questions quickly._

 _"Like I said, let me explain. Her name is Hannah Marie Raydor, and no, the Marie had nothing to do with Nicole having the same name. Talk about a fluke," he rolled his eyes. "I work with her mother, or rather, she's a police captain, the head of a different division. We were briefly involved, not really dating, but," he shrugged, "you know."_

 _Angela rolled her eyes, "You slept with her for a good time once?"_

 _"No!" he exclaimed and then sighed. He looked at her and pursed his lips, "Yeah, I slept with her, but it was more than once. We weren't dating. The whole thing started on this work trip, and it continued after that. All of it ended after a week. She, Sharon," he clarified, "was adamant about nothing happening between us. I was interested. I mean, I haven't lied to you, so yeah, things were good with us. I felt a chemistry there, and obviously, if we kept going back to each other for a week, she did too. She's different than anyone I've dated, but we didn't date. She made that clear. Honestly, she's treated me like crap for months, and you'd think I'd easily walk away. I can't explain it, but I guess I liked her. She asked me to sign away my rights, one of those paternity things."_

 _Angela interrupted him, "Oh, Andy! Please tell me you didn't."_

 _He dropped his head and just nodded. He couldn't look at her, "I did. I didn't really give it a second thought. I gave her some money, which she didn't want, but she eventually took, and I signed it. What kind of dad am I? Honestly, I know I'm a crappy one, a terrible one. Nic and Nate would agree. I've been a lousy dad. I was drunk most of their childhood, and I just saw that, my crappy side with this situation. I felt at the time this was the best thing for her, Hannah," he clarified. "I signed it. I didn't think twice about it then, didn't regret it then."_

 _"Then?" she asked. She kicked at his leg with hers and when he looked at her, she nodded to him, "What about now?"_

 _"Now?" he repeated. He frowned, "I would have tried with her. My head is on straight, finally. I'm not drinking, and it took seeing her, that tiny little Hannah to get it. I would have tried. I wish I could try, but Sharon is stuck on about raising her alone. Angela, I haven't been sleeping. This has been tearing me up inside. She's my kid, half me, and I created her. What is she going to think of me when she's older? I just," he ran his hand through his hair, "I just didn't think about any of that. She's going to hate me more than Nic and Nate do. She's never going to know she has another sister and brother. She's going to grow up without any father in her life, and I did that. I hate myself. I gave Sharon what she wanted, and in doing that, I've realized I just wanted to make her happy. I guess I do like her deep down and just wanted her to be happy, but in doing that, I've made myself miserable. I've let my daughter walk away from me and the life I have."_

 _"And Sharon?" Angela asked. "Sounds like she's very controlling."_

 _"She is," Andy nodded. "Something about that drives me crazy, in a good way," he flashed a small smile. "I get that she's got her issues, and I'm on the receiving end of her guy issues, but she was different. I know she will raise Hannah well, but I just wish it was different."_

 _"Have you tried talking to her, to Sharon?" Angela asked._

 _Andy lightly chuckled and dropped his head, "Oh yeah. She's not interested in talking to me. She's fearful I'm going to grab Hannah and run. It's odd to me. I've now seen Hannah twice. My daughter is now two months old, and I've seen her twice."_

 _"Two months old!" Angela said, visibly surprised. "Andy, that's recent. She's a baby. I didn't realize that."_

 _"Yeah," he nodded. "Like I said, I haven't been able to sleep, and that's not because I HAVE a newborn at home who is up all night. Honestly, I'd take anything for that right now. She's just a baby. She was born August 30. Little Hannah," he sighed. "She's gorgeous, Angela."_

 _"Hannah or Sharon?" Angela eyed him. Andy met her gaze, and instead of answering, he dug out his phone. Angela continued, "Andy, I don't know why we are both lousy with relationships. We had a stable home. Mom and Dad did a good job with us, but we both are terrible with relationships. Sharon sounds like a mess, one mess that you don't need. I can't believe you signed away your rights to her, but honestly, knowing you and how you think, I actually understand. Let me tell you though, that you are not a terrible father. You had a terrible few years where you were off track and drinking. That is long over. Your kids ran to the man who was willing to be their dad. I have said it for years, and I'll keep saying it, that you need to fight for them. You are now one of two dads in their lives. If you are trying to replace their step-father, you won't. He's important to them, but that doesn't mean you can exist alongside him. Now, here with Hannah, you have a real mess. You said Sharon is a captain?"_

 _"Yeah," he sighed. "She's been on maternity leave, but she should be back to work soon. I've done what she asked. I've kept my distance. I've left her alone. I tried to be a decent guy by giving her money. I gave her $10,000," he told Angela. She remained quiet, but her raised eyes and surprised expression told him she was shocked. "I gave her another $500 later for whatever she needed. I checked on them when Hannah was born, which she didn't tell me, but I found out. I sent Hannah a huge box of clothes and things. I made food when our team checked on her. Since then, I've tried to move on and let her be. I have two pictures of Hannah, one with Provenza holding her and one with me holding her. That was when the team visited, and only Provenza knows the truth. I tried to take a picture of her myself, but my stupid phone didn't focus, and it's too blurry. I've walked away, or I've tried, and I can't function now."_

 _"So, you're planning to pounce on her when she's back to work? Andy, that's not a good idea," Angela told him._

 _"I know," he nodded. "I don't have a plan. I guess I am going to just let her get back to work and see how things go. We still have to work together, and my best hope now is that I might catch a glimpse of my own daughter every now and then when she's going to daycare. I hate it."_

 _"Yeah, you've created a mess. You know it can't be fixed, maybe ever, but again, your choices led you to this, just as your choice to drink led you to problems before. This time, you got involved with a woman, and I've warned you about that. Wait, how old is she?" Angela asked, grimacing._

 _"She's now 48," he rolled his eyes. "I told you she is a police captain. We seemed to beat all the odds."_

 _"Hmm," she nodded. "I see. Still, when you play with fire, you will get burned. How many times have I told you that? You messed around with a woman when you weren't even in a relationship with her. You got her pregnant, and when she asked you to walk away, you did. Andy, Mom and Dad would be disappointed. I mean, I am too, but I see what you did and why you did it. I'm here to tell you that Hannah is not better off without you, her father in her life, no matter what you think, just as Nicole and Nathan are not better off without you. Now, legally, it may be too late for Hannah. I don't know what you can do there, especially if Sharon is certain of your place, or lack of place, in Hannah's life. You can change things with the other two, and I want you to promise me you will try to do that."_

 _"I'm trying," he nodded. "It's discouraging, all of it, but I'm trying. I don't know what I'm going to do about Hannah. For now, I'd do anything just to see her sweet face."_

 _"I don't have an answer, but I'm glad you told me. You can always talk to me. I love you. I always will. One thing, if I am sick, you need to inform your kids, all of them, even just for future medical information," she told him._

 _"I know," he sighed. "I'll deal with my kids; you need to focus on your health."_

"Flynn!" Andy snapped, and he saw the waitress standing there with his food. He moved his hands to give her room on the table for his plates.

"Thanks," he nodded. Provenza also nodded to the waitress, and she left.

"Where in the world did your mind go?" he asked.

Andy shook his head, "You don't even want to know, but yeah, I told Angela all about Hannah. She told me I was an idiot, in so many words," he sighed. "I'm realizing that more and more."

"Well," Provenza took a bite, "you haven't been thinking clearly for almost the last year. I mean, Raydor, Flynn, Raydor! That was the first mistake."

"Aware!" Andy snapped. "Still, what's done is done. Hannah is here. She's amazing, and I am missing everything. I don't know anything about her! I just have that update from Gavin from a couple weeks ago now, that she is healthy and doing great. I don't know what she looks like now, if she has hair. Why was I so stupid I didn't even take off that little cap she had on to check on her hair? I could see a little dark hair there at the base of her head, but I don't know if she has a lot or a little hair. Does she sleep? I don't know that. I'm sure if she's not, Sharon is hating me more and more, blaming me for that. Does she smile? Is she happy? Does she eat well? I'm a father, and I'm worthless."

"I warned you about signing, even when I joked it was a great idea," he pointed his fork at Andy. 'Flynn, you have to find a way to deal with this or cope. You can't live like this. Maybe things will be better when the captain is back to work. I can't believe I just said that," Provenza made a horrified face.

"I said the same to Angela, that maybe I'll relax if I just get a glimpse of Hannah every now and then in the building. I just don't even like how strained things are with Sharon. I don't want them to be. I've given her everything she wanted, along with the most precious thing she didn't even know she wanted," he let out a low grunt. "I just don't know why she hates me, hates men so much. I swear that idiot of an ex did such a number on her that she will never be in a healthy relationship."

Provenza nodded and shrugged, "She may never be, but you have to realize she's a grown woman. Just like with your other two, there may come a day when a man steps in to be Hannah's father. Even the captain might find a man to deal with her attitude," he rolled his eyes.

Andy finished chewing and just shook his head, "Maybe, but I just don't know. She's so controlling, and my only take on that is he tried so much to control her, she's not going to allow that to ever happen. I'm not sure she's ever going to allow any man, myself included, anywhere near Pumpkin again."

"What's your plan for all of this when she returns to work?" Provenza asked, stuffing a huge bite of pancake into his mouth. The syrup dripped down over his chin, and Andy shook his head, both at the question and the view of Provenza.

"I guess I just want to keep my head down for awhile, try to just get along with her and deal with her when needed. Hopefully, I'll catch a glimpse of Hannah here and there. If Angela is sick, I guess I'll see if I can tell her about that, at least for Hannah's sake in the future."

"This mess won't end anytime soon, Flynn," Provenza told him.

"Well aware," he nodded. "Well aware."

Meanwhile, Sharon was wiping a stray tear as she navigated her way out of Los Angeles. She was happy and sad, excited and nervous. She glanced into her backseat and smiled, noting her precious cargo was already asleep. The two were off on their new adventure, having just pulled away from the condo and Gavin. Sharon had timed it with Hannah's morning nap and hoped to get at least an hour or so of driving in before she was awake again.

"Here's a copy of the key," she had said to Gavin as she placed it in his hand and wrapped her hand around his. "Thank you for dealing with this, with passing this along to the property manager."

He waved at her, "I'll keep an eye on things. I told you the firm hired two new people recently from out of town. I'll even check to see if either need a place to rent. That would be ideal. You, you need to be careful. That's my Hannah back there, and I need her to arrive in Arizona in one piece."

Sharon smiled at him and shook her head, "I'm going to miss you so much. When I weighed the pros and cons of moving, you were the con, the main one, the only one I really considered. Life won't be the same without you stopping by anytime you want."

He rolled his eyes, "I do leave a mark on people. I'm well aware. No one can forget me, just as I won't forget you."

"No," Sharon said, tearfully. "I don't know why I'm crying. You are coming to visit for Christmas. That's not far."

"I still can't believe I agreed to that the other day," he rolled his eyes. "That was a moment of weakness."

Sharon let out a choked sob and laugh, and she smiled at him, clasping her hands in his. "You take care. I'll call you when I arrive."

He frowned, "I still can't believe you rented an apartment. It looks so blah," he made a face.

She shrugged, "It's safe, affordable, and it's not permanent. I can get my feet on the ground and figure out what I want from there. I've had so many changes recently. I need to take a deep breath before I buy something there, and I want to make sure I like teaching."

"Well, then, you professor," he pulled her close to him, "be careful driving today. Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Gavin!" she exclaimed and pulled away from him. "Stop. I'm a now retired police captain. I can certainly handle a day of driving with an infant."

He rolled his eyes, "She's not sleeping as much. She might cry."

Sharon nodded, "She might. I might too. We'll stop and deal with it. My daughter and I are going to be just fine."

"Okay," he nodded. "Last chance to bail on this idea," he teased.

She shook her head, "I'm ready." Her door was already open, and he stuck his head inside toward Hannah who was already in her car seat kicking her feet.

"Hannah, be good for your old mom," he flashed a grin at Sharon. He looked at her, "You will be great. I'll see you soon, and I'm sure I will talk to you during the day today. Call me anytime. I don't have court today."

She nodded, and he gestured to the car. She stepped toward it, and then she reached inside to her purse. When she stood up, she looked at him. Their eyes met, "You will know when the time is right to give this to him," she nodded to Gavin, for him to take the plain white envelope. He eyed it and looked up at her. She shrugged, "I'm not discussing it. Just keep it. I have a feeling he'll come to you."

Gavin took the plain white envelope and started to fold it in half. He looked to Sharon, wanting confirmation it was okay to fold. She just nodded at him. The envelope looked worn already like she had been handling it. There was no name on it, but the name was understood.

"I'll keep you posted on everything here," he winked at her. "I've got your address, so be on the lookout for packages."

Sharon stepped toward her car and sat down in it. She eyed him, "You are going to send her more clothing, aren't you?"

He shrugged, "Going to-hmm, no, I might have already placed the order. Enjoy it when it arrives. Bye, Sharon," he nodded. She closed the door, and she pulled away with one last quick wave.

Now, she was finally getting on the freeway. She was driving away from L.A. Her life was really coming full-circle. She still remembered the first time she drove to L.A., full of hope and wonder, with Jack at her side. Now, she was leaving, full of the same emotions and with a lot of baggage now in her past.

Her first trip to L.A. had been now over 25 years ago. She'd driven some of the same roads she was now using to leave the city. Back then, she was a newly married, excited college graduate, ready to conquer the world with her new husband Jack. She had been thrilled to start her life with him. The two had grown up knowing each other, but they'd never lived in even the same state until they got married. Sharon's parents had gone to college with Jack's parents. The four were the best of friends, even with Jack and his family living outside of Boston. The college friends had gone to college back East, but Sharon's dad had gotten a job offer that brought him with his new bride to Phoenix where they'd stayed and had their family. Still, every couple years, the college friends found a way to get together. Sometimes, they saw each other back East at family events. Some years, the two families took a vacation together, but the four had remained friends even with their hectic lives. Sharon had known Jack most of her life, one of her earliest memories being from a picture she still had of the two playing in a sandbox when she was three, and he was four. Growing up, it was normal to spend time with Jack and his family; he was like family. So, as Sharon and Jack grew up and the families continued to see each other, the two remained friends. Sharon always thought of him as friend, and that didn't change until the families got together when she was 17. Jack was 18, and his parents had brought him to Arizona as a graduation gift. They had a West Coast tour planned for him, and one stop was in Phoenix. Sharon still remembered that visit. It was the first time she saw Jack as more than just a friend. He was handsome and funny. The two snuck away from their parents that night and spent the evening listening to records in Sharon's bedroom. Their parents and other kids had been sitting outside around a fire, reminiscing about old times, and when they finally came into the house for more to drink, Sharon and Jack scrambled to rejoin the group. Jack kissed her that night, and everything changed. He was her first love, and that didn't go away even through college.

The two attended different colleges, but they kept in touch. Both dated others on and off in college, nothing serious, but with their parents being friends, they were able to see each other almost every year after that. During Jack's senior year, Sharon's junior year of college, he drove down to see her and surprise her. He had chosen to go to school in Boston, and she'd gone to school in Connecticut. He'd waited outside the criminal justice building for her, knowing she had class there each day. She smiled still at that memory, and when she spotted him that day, she ran to embrace him. The two kissed, a kiss that seemed to seal their fate. It was almost unspoken from that point on, that the two were together. Times were different then, and it felt right. Jack was comfortable to Sharon, just as she was to him. They had several more trips like that, where Jack surprised her, and finally, they told their parents they were madly in love in middle of Jack's senior year when home for Christmas. It seemed right; it felt right. The families were friends. Both Sharon and Jack were Catholic. They had grown up together. They were familiar with each other. They had the same interests and both wanted to be lawyers. It seemed perfect. It seemed right. The next few months were a whirlwind as Jack was accepted to law schools around the country. He drove down to see Sharon at school and proposed to her during a walk through the school's gardens. Immediately after that, he said he wanted her to help him pick a school, and he pulled out his various acceptance letters. The two decided on Los Angeles, or rather, Jack had wanted to go to school there, and he convinced Sharon it the best option. It was close to Sharon's family, and even though she still had one more year of college on the East Coast, she would join him after she graduated, and they were married. They started making plans, doing all of it long-distance. Sharon only saw Jack on her school breaks at the holidays when she flew home. He was busy that first year of law school, just as she was her last year of college. He, along with his parents, attended her graduation and sat with her parents. They were married in Phoenix three weeks later with their family and friends in attendance. Things seemed perfect. The families were happy with the blessed union. The problem was that Sharon didn't realize she hadn't dated Jack and hadn't spent much time around him. The two did know each other from growing up with their families, but they'd not been a couple much before their wedding. They hadn't lived in the same state. They almost made it to their wedding without sleeping together, almost. They'd tried. Both being Catholic, they'd discussed it and had wanted to wait, but their young love fought back. She rolled her eyes now thinking back to that, her first time with Jack. It should have been a warning too. It had been different, awkward, strange, but then, she just suspected that's how it was. The two had snuck off from the last-minute wedding planning just to spend time together. The wedding was two days away, and the two had been so busy, they'd barely had time to speak to the other. Sharon remembered waiting at the airport for Jack's flight that day. He'd left his car in L.A. because Sharon's parents had bought her a car for her college graduation, and she and Jack were going to drive that to L.A. after the wedding. So, she waited for him, in her new car. When he arrived, the two couldn't keep their hands off each other. Even the Phoenix heat hadn't been a deterrent, and the two had stopped only long enough to get out of the airport parking area to a more secluded spot. Sharon had driven to a parking lot just to kiss Jack, she'd told herself, and he nodded to the motel across the street.

 _"I don't know if I can stand waiting, Sharon," he told her. "I've wanted you for so long."_

 _"I don't want to wait either," she said, breathlessly. "The wedding is in two days. We'll be tired and stressed by the time it's over. Let's do this now while we can enjoy it."_

And, they had, or so it seemed. They'd spent the afternoon at the motel, a very basic one that she was sure now would be the type to be a crime scene. Jack had loved every minute. She'd enjoyed it too, but she'd left there wondering if she should feel differently about Jack. She'd enjoyed it, but something seemed to be missing. She chalked it up to inexperience and told herself things would get better with time. She also told herself that it would be even more exciting when they were married. She found, though, it wasn't.

Life with Jack was not what she'd expected. Intimately, she never seemed to connect like he did, but knowing him now, Jack seemed to connect with any woman he took to bed. Life in Los Angeles was hard. The two were going to law school together, but very early into her first semester, Sharon realized something was off-both in her marriage and in school. She kept telling herself she was just adjusting to married life, to living with Jack, and to school. The feelings lingered. It didn't help money wasn't tight; it was non-existent. The two hadn't thought about that. Both had grown up where money wasn't an object, but now that they were married, they were expected to stand on their own. As she continued with her studies, Sharon realized she liked the other side of the law. She spoke to Jack about her feelings, and eventually, the two decided she would go to work for awhile; she would become a police officer to pay the bills, but also to see the other side of the law. Both thought the break from school would only convince Sharon to go back to law school. As with anything, life happened. Sharon found that she enjoyed working as a police officer, but the two really enjoyed the steady income and health insurance. That insurance came in handy when Sharon became pregnant with Emily. By the time she was born, Jack was already drinking more and more. Things continued after that, and Sharon soon found herself saddled with two children and a disappearing husband eventually. Their split ended the family friendship. No one thought the two would have problems. Jack's parents were embarrassed, especially when he abandoned Sharon and the kids. His dad found him to talk to him, and it got even worse then when Jack, with a woman hanging on him, answered the door of his new Las Vegas apartment.

Things had not been the same between the families. Sharon had gone on with her life. Jack's parents had stayed in touch, but things hadn't been good. Sharon drew into herself more and more, certain she would never be happy and would never trust a man again. Jack had been the safe pick, and that hadn't worked. Her marriage had been a failure. Their love life had never been magical, and she'd just accepted that was the way it was. She knew she'd grown bitter. She didn't trust men, and she demanded control, mostly because she had never had any. Jack had called the shots for years, and even after he left her, he'd continued to stick in her mind. Yes, he'd done a number on her, and she had not recovered.

Sharon sighed when she glanced to her clock radio. She'd been driving over an hour now, and Hannah was just starting to stir. For the first time in years, Sharon felt the weight of her failed marriage being lifted with every mile she drove away from Los Angeles. It had been Jack's city, and even he'd left it. She'd moved here for him, and now, she was moving to Flagstaff for herself. She'd tried to explore herself in Los Angles by dating a little, or really, just sleeping with a couple men. That hadn't worked. She'd made mistakes there, as she'd told Emily. She'd let them get close, and yet, she'd learned something with each man. She'd set a lot of ground rules for Andy while on the road, rules he was happy to stick to because sleeping together was enjoyable for both. It was fun until she felt herself wanting more, wanting Andy. Then, it wasn't fun. She couldn't lose control, not again, so she'd sent him away. That should have been the end of it, but then, she'd ended up pregnant with his baby. Oh, she was so torn about all of that, even now. He'd made her feel things she'd never imagined when together. Their brief times together, she'd never felt that with Jack. It was odd to her, and she didn't fully understand it. Feeling that with Andy was dangerous. She couldn't risk it. He was dangerous and carried more baggage than she did. She'd gotten the best of him in Hannah, and when Hannah was grown and asked about her dad, Sharon would tell her daughter she'd liked the man more than she could admit. The two, though, weren't meant to be.

Hannah started to make her sweet noises, and Sharon started to look for an exit. She needed a break. Hannah needed to be fed. Both needed to regroup before they continued the drive. Yes, she was on the move, and she just hoped that by going back to Arizona, her home state, she would finally find herself.


	28. Chapter 28

Her drive had gone well. She was now in Flagstaff, Arizona, ready to start the new phase of her life. She had done it; she'd left Los Angeles, and after a somewhat restful sleep, she was ready to tackle her day. She and Hannah were staying in a hotel for a couple of days while her furniture was delivered, and she started to organize her apartment. She'd been busy during her pregnancy, researching jobs, apartments, and childcare, along with even coming to Arizona for the interview. She'd kept it quiet at work too, which was in her favor, as still, no one knew she wasn't returning. For her interview, her parents had driven up and met her, and the three had stayed at the hotel for a few days while she looked around the town, talked to the university, and looked at potential places to live. It had been good to see her parents; she hadn't lied to work when she had said she was visiting her parents. It had just all happened in her new town. They hadn't seen her pregnant yet this pregnancy, and now that she had her two-month-old in her arms, she realized it was the only time they'd seen her pregnant this time. The three had done a lot of talking on that trip, here at the same hotel. She'd been tight-lipped, not telling them much about Andy. She hadn't even given them his name, but had only told them she'd briefly been involved with a man, and he was not in the picture. When the expressed concern he would find out, she explained that Gavin had handled that. That was all she would tell them, and even though they had pressed her for more, she had refused to give it.

Sharon had enjoyed her visit with her aging parents, but it was clear they wouldn't be doing a lot of traveling much longer. The just over two-hour drive was doable for them, but it had worn them out too. Living in Phoenix, they were used to the hot weather, and it had been a nice change for them to visit with her in Flagstaff that trip, as a relief from the hot desert air Phoenix provided. Flagstaff was hot too, just not like Phoenix. Now, here in November, Sharon was enjoying the change in climate, the winter weather, as with its elevation, Flagstaff had plenty of winter weather. It was almost alarming for people driving north from Phoenix to leave a balmy 70-80-degree day, drive north to Flagstaff, change 7,000 feet in elevation, to arrive in a winter wonderland with snow and frigid temperatures. It was a welcome change for Sharon, but she hadn't thought about how she would miss taking easy walks during the "California winters" because it would be much colder to take Hannah on walks here in Flagstaff. One thing was for sure, she noted looking out over the landscape from her car, she would need to get some new clothing. That would need to be at the top of the list-new clothing that was suited for winter and clothing that fit her. Hannah would need things as well. Today, though, she needed to start moving into her place.

Her day was shaping up well, and she was happy to report she wasn't stressed. Hannah had done a pretty good job in the car, sleeping on and off, which was great. Her age still helped with that, not that two-month olds did a lot of moving around, but still, it helped she was still so young. Sharon had taken plenty of breaks to feed Hannah, change her diaper, and get food for herself. The drive across the desert had been healing in a way, and she really felt much calmer now that she was here in Arizona. The hotel had been perfect. Sharon had packed as little as possible in the car, putting most of it on the moving truck, but her car was still full. Of course, traveling with a baby wasn't an easy feat, and it required a certain amount of gear. She'd brought her standard diaper bag, a new travel crib her parents had ordered for her when they knew she was going to move, Hannah's stroller (which took up a lot of room), a suitcase for Hannah, a large and a small suitcase for Sharon, a file box of important documents, a small box of miscellaneous items the movers wouldn't pack (some open cleaning solutions mainly), her weapons (securely stored for moving)-she was a police officer after all, and a small cooler. It had been daunting to finally finish at the condo, to load everything she had left, and to leave, but she'd done it. Gavin had been a lifesaver too, helping with Hannah during the process, and her hotel had been amazing too, helping her get situated in her room. Hannah had been a trooper, and even the overnight in the hotel had gone pretty well. Hannah had gone to sleep okay and was up twice during the night, which was still pretty standard for her. Now, with some breakfast in both and with her keys in hand after signing the last of the paperwork for her apartment, she was ready to check out the place. She parked, got out of the car, and she looked up at the building. She wasn't thrilled with a first-floor apartment; the complex had three floors, but it would be the easiest with the baby. She could maneuver the stroller without issue, as well as the groceries. Besides, she expected it to be somewhat temporary until she decided what she wanted to buy in Flagstaff. She also wanted to get her condo in L.A. rented, as now, she was still covering the mortgage there. So, the modest apartment would work well for her. It was two bedrooms, but each bedroom had its own bathroom. Hannah's room was large enough to fit an air mattress for now. She hated doing that to guests, but it was what it was. Gavin, upon hearing her plan, had ordered her the most expensive air mattress, telling her if he was visiting, he was at least sleeping on the best. Sharon was waiting until he visited to tell Gavin he would take the air mattress in her daughter's room and let Gavin use her room, but for now, she enjoyed tormenting him. She still had her queen-sized guest bed, but for now, she was going to have the movers put it into her garage storage that she'd acquired with the apartment rental. It cost a bit more, but it was basically a place to call storage while she was in limbo with her living situation. She was fine keeping her sedan outside, parked near her door and using the garage area as storage.

"Hannah, let's check out our new home," Sharon said as she scooped her out of her car seat and secured her in the carry pack she had. The carrier had been a lifesaver already. Hannah was a good baby, but she liked to snuggle on Sharon. Sharon had found that Hannah also enjoyed being in the carrier when she vacuumed the condo, something she'd discovered by accident one day. It just seemed to calm her. She was so sweet when in the carrier. She would pull her legs up and curl up on Sharon. The only annoyance was just how hot Sharon would get. Hannah was like a little furnace in that thing, but Sharon cherished every moment with her daughter. She secured her, collected her purse, and Hannah's diaper bag before she started to the door. The property manager had sent Sharon ahead and told her she would be by shortly to do an inspection, to note any issues or damages, so Sharon was excited to enjoy this moment with just her daughter.

After she unlocked the door, she walked inside and glanced around at the place. It was a nice size. She'd been assured this was a quiet complex with few students. The department secretary from the legal studies office at the university had recommend this place. Sharon did not want to live around a lot of students; she didn't want to be walking the halls with a baby and listening to a party going on outside. This was just far enough away from campus and expensive enough it kept most of the students away.

The apartment opened to the living room, and as she looked around, she could picture where she'd put her furniture. The kitchen was beyond that, and her feet echoed on the newer flooring. She'd been told they put in a faux-wood flooring a year and a half ago, and as she walked, she looked down and noted it looked to be in good condition. The kitchen had basic white cabinets and appliances, and the bonus for her was that it had a very small pantry off it with a sliding door to the kitchen. In that pantry area, there was enough room for her washer and dryer, critical appliances with a small baby. It would work. She could probably roll the stroller in there if needed, but she'd figure it out in the weeks to come.

The two bedrooms were down the hall with the bathrooms between them. The bathrooms shared an exterior wall, she was sure that was used for plumbing. Hannah's room was just off the living room, and while Sharon wasn't thrilled by that, it would be okay. She didn't expect to have big parties, and in the evening, she could always watch television in her room if the sound bothered Hannah. Her room was then, at the very end of the hall, stretching across the back of the condo. It had a nice view with windows to the side and back. It was bright and airy, and it would work just fine for her.

Sharon paused in that bedroom and looked around at everything. It was so quiet in the apartment, and Hannah was already pulling her legs up in the carrier. Sharon ran her hand over her back and patted at her, and she heard Hannah making noises as she started to fall asleep. She heard a knock at her door and moved quickly to greet the property manager for the inspection.

"Ricky!" she exclaimed happily at the sight of her now middle child and only son. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.

"Hey, Mom! Surprise!" he exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, now stepping back. "I wasn't thinking I would see you until Thanksgiving in Phoenix at Grandma and Grandpa's house!" Ricky pulled back the carrier cover to glance down at Hannah. He could see the outline of her dark hair and that was about it. He grinned at Sharon.

"She's getting bigger, but I mean, when you start at five pounds, I suppose you can only go up, right?" he said and kissed her cheek. "What am I doing here? I'm here to decorate my room." Sharon's eyes widened, and Ricky winked at her. "Just kidding. Gavin told me I should thank him, that he had ordered some crazy expensive air mattress for when I was home. No, I flew to Phoenix last night after my classes, stayed with Grandma and Grandpa, and then, this morning, I drove up here to check on things. I'm just glad as your son I had your new address. I 'll still be there for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to come help this weekend. I can leave if you want me to wait until Thanksgiving," he started to laugh, and Sharon swatted at him.

"Oh, you are such a good son," she sighed. "Come in," she gestured.

"Wow, love what you've done with the place," he laughed again, and he nodded as he looked around at everything. "Looks nice."

"Your grandparents didn't come, did they?" Sharon glanced outside as she closed the door and saw her mother's black sedan parked next to her silver one. Her mother barely drove anymore, and the car probably hadn't been out of the city limits in over a year. Ricky turned back to her and shook his head.

"No, they knew it would be chaotic here with you trying to move in and all. I don't have class today," he rolled his eyes, "or I should say, one class was cancelled, and I might have decided to skip the other, but I'm here all weekend. I figured I could help you get organized and all. Is your moving truck still coming tomorrow?"

"Yes," she nodded. "It is, at least last I heard. They had a small delivery in Palm Desert on the way, but otherwise, they didn't have anyone else between here and there. It was cheaper to do a split truck like that, and I don't mind. As much as I'd enjoy seeing your grandparents, I'm glad they didn't come this trip. It would be a lot, and I would be worried they could slip on the sidewalk. There's some black ice already with winter setting in here."

He nodded and started to walk around the place, "I can't believe you are actually here and all, that you moved. You're still good with it?"

"Yes," Sharon continued to pat at Hannah, just as she had when she was pregnant with her. She flashed a big smile at Ricky. "I'm very happy with my decision. I feel like a big weight has been lifted. What do you think?" He looked around and started to walk, looking down the hall toward the bedrooms. "I know there's no charm or character; it's a very standard looking apartment, but it works for what I need right now. The first floor will make it easier with your sister and her stroller."

"Yeah, it's nice," Ricky nodded. "Looks cleaner than my room at the frat house," he flashed a grin at her. "The bedrooms?" he nodded and started down the hall. Sharon followed, her flat with their hard soles echoing on the floor. "Yes, that first room there is for your sister, and you can stay there too. It has its own bathroom." Ricky walked in and looked around it. He nodded, and Sharon continued to pat at Hannah. "My room is down the hall." Ricky walked down, looked and it, and while he did, Sharon continued to pace with Hannah. The little girl was fighting sleep, still making noises, and moving slightly. Sharon knew she'd sleep better if she could stretch out, but it was at the hotel in her room. Ricky walked back to her, and he nodded.

"Yeah, it's really nice, Mom. The kitchen is big, and with you retired now, maybe you will have a normal work schedule to cook in the evenings. That would be nice," he told her.

"I thought the same," she said and hummed. "I have no regrets about working at the LAPD with you and Emily growing up, but I'm older and want a different lifestyle now with Hannah."

"Cool. It's exciting. So, what's next?" he clapped his hands together. A knock at the door alerted Sharon, and she looked to Ricky and pointed to him, "That is the property manager to do my inspection. For now, could you unload what I have in the car? I have most of my things at the hotel, but there are a few things I have in the car. We can get that inside, which will leave the car empty. Then, I was thinking we could go to the grocery store. It would be wonderful to have help," she smiled brightly at him. "I'm so glad you surprised me." She had her hand on the door, and he yelled to her.

"Me too, Mom. Grandma and Grandpa need credit too. They paid for the plane ticket and let me borrow the car, but we all just want to support you and Hannah."

A little over an hour later, Sharon had finished the inspection, signed the last of the paperwork, located her garage unit, and Ricky had unloaded the things she had in the car. The place was already feeling more like home with just a few items in it. She really liked the porch off the back of her bedroom. The back of the place overlooked a small hilly wooded area, and she had a very private porch. It would be nice to sit outside when the weather was better, and Ricky pointed out he could add a small grill there when he was home. Even that, all her patio furniture, would most likely be put in her garage unit, but she was hopeful there would be enough room at least for her small patio table. So, with the apartment coming along, Hannah was ready for her next feeding. Sharon took her out of her front carrier and instructed Ricky to get her diapers and changing pad out of the diaper bag. He did, and she handed Hannah to him.

"Me?" he looked up at her.

"Yes, you, besides," she grinned and started to chuckle, "imagine the day you can tell your little sister you used to change her diapers." Hannah squirmed slightly, and Ricky gave her a stare before he reached for and took Hannah. Sharon nodded at him. "It's good for you. I do it all the time."

"How is she doing?" Ricky asked as he started to undress her. Sharon stood nearby in case he had any questions. "She sleeping better?"

"She's waking up twice at night. It's better than it was just after she was born, but that's to be expected. She was barely going two hours then for the first couple weeks, but it was okay. Honestly, with just her to focus on at home, it wasn't too bad. I think the time was good for us both. I'm still shocked you haven't seen her since that first weekend."

"Yeah," he nodded, as he continued to change her. She smiled up at Ricky and made some of her small sounds. He tickled at her foot, and she smiled at that too. Sharon continued to watch, and Ricky asked, "So, is she more like Emily or me?"

Sharon paused a moment, and then she nodded, "She's a little like both of you, but I have to say she's more like you. I think she's laid back so far. We'll see how that goes. You slept better than Emily. She's more like you. She has the same smile as Emily. She has a lot more hair than either of you had," she started to laugh. "That's a very different change. I'll always be able to pick her out of baby photos of the three of you. She has hair."

"Yeah, and you wonder why I don't want to cut mine," he flashed a grin at her and finished up with the diaper. "I was bald for so long that I want to keep the hair I have."

Sharon burst out laughing, and Hannah let out a surprising cry. Sharon looked to her, "Hannah, are you feeling neglected? Would you like to eat?"

"Oh, that's all you," Ricky held up his hands in defense. Sharon pointed her finger at him.

"Not so fast," she nodded to him. "I fed her just before I left the hotel. I'm adding a little formula in too. I have a bottle ready that I can finish making up for you. Would you like to feed her? I want her to take bottles okay, and she is so far. Plus, I'm enjoying feeding her, but it's just draining me all the time. I don't know what it is. I'm older, and I suppose I've been so busy. It's good that I can feed her, but I'm glad to have formula too. Gavin has fed her a couple of times."

"Sure," he grinned and picked up Hannah. "Wow, she's much heavier than I remember. Hey little sis," he kissed her head. "The way Gavin is with her, Mom, you'd think he's her dad."

Sharon, who had walked to the kitchen counter where the box of baby supplies was sitting, stopped and turned to Ricky. She saw him looking at her, Hannah in his arms. He was holding her in an awkward way, but she knew Ricky would figure out what worked. She took a deep breath, "Ricky, please, let's not."

He shrugged, "Does she look like him? You said you can see Emily and me in her. Does she look like him-the dad, not Gavin? I know Em and I have features from Dad, so surely, you have to notice something."

Sharon didn't look at him, but she continued to make the bottle for Hannah. She finished and walked to Ricky, who was sitting on the floor with his back to the wall and Hannah now propped up on his lap. She handed him the bottle, and he looked at her, hoping for an answer. She rolled her eyes.

"Her eyes, and that's all I will say. I see it in her eyes. Her eyes don't look like any of us, and that's just the way it is. I thought it would be easy, but it's hard. I see it all the time. Now, can we please talk about anything else?"

"Sorry, Mom," Ricky sighed. He took the bottle from her. "I'm sorry. I came to help, not to upset you."

She nodded, "You didn't upset me, but I just don't want to discuss Hannah's father. When she's finished eating, we can go to the store."

Ricky nodded and held up the bottle Sharon had made, "Whoa, she will drink all of this?"

Sharon nodded, "Yes, she will. I think she's getting ready to grow. She's been still hungry after a bottle, which is one nice thing about bottles, that I can see how much she's drinking. I tried pumping, but that just wasn't working for me. Anyway, I am bumping her up slightly on the amount. She was small to start, but she's drinking over four ounces at a time already. I think she's intent on packing on the weight. I just wish she could take some of mine," Sharon chuckled and nodded to Ricky.

He shrugged at her, "You look great to me, Mom, but you always do. Hannah, let's get you fed. I'm getting hungry too, and maybe you and I can convince Mom to get me something to eat when we leave the apartment."

Several hours later, the two had returned to the apartment, this time with the travel crib. Ricky had gone up to Sharon's room, packed it up, and brought it downstairs so they could work in the kitchen while Hannah had time to spread out in her travel crib. Sharon knew the hotel most likely could provide one, but she was a bit worried about germs and was okay moving hers around. She'd also told Ricky he could stay at the hotel with her, as her room had two queen beds. They had been to the hotel, grocery store, and a general household store to get a few things to start. The two adults spent the next couple hours organizing the food in the kitchen and stocking things around the place. She added toilet paper and soap to the bathrooms. She put up some laundry detergent, ready for her washing machine and dryer. Ricky, with his computer skills, worked on setting up her modem and router, as she'd already had the utilities turned on before her arrival. By late afternoon, the place was taking shape, even without furniture.

"Looking good, Mom," Ricky smiled. Hannah was passed out in her crib, her arms up by her head, and she looked peaceful there lying on her back. "I still can't believe she's here. What are you going to do with her when you start your job? Did you decide?"

Sharon nodded, "Yes, there's a daycare here that was recommended by the department, sorry," she smiled at him, "the department at the university. It sounds odd to say that and not mean the police department. Anyway, I secured a spot for her. It's a full-time spot even though I'm part-time. I'm not sure how I like that, but it's what I could get."

He joked as he started to eat a banana, "You could always get a job somewhere fun, you know, to meet people."

Sharon frowned at that, "I know I'm only teaching two classes a week for now, but I hope that will change. It won't take all my time, but I want to dedicate my time to Hannah otherwise. I am not sure how I feel about that."

"Well, you need to get out, in my opinion. You can't just hang around college kids all day. You really should date or something. It would be good for you to be around adults. I know, play in a card group or something, like Bridge."

Sharon burst out laughing, "Bridge? No, I'm not into cards. I'm okay. I'll meet people just fine, and dating," she shook her head. "I don't need to do that. I don't need a man around me. I've learned that."

"Okay," he nodded. "I don't need a girlfriend, but I'd like one," he grinned. "Just like as she gets older, Hannah doesn't need a dad, but she might like one."

"I'm not in search of a father for Hannah," Sharon said pointedly.

"I know," Ricky nodded to her. "I just know what it's like to not have one around at all. You did a great job, Mom, but I'm just letting you know to not rule it out. So, don't be in search of a father for her. Be in search of a man who makes you happy, and if you find that, you find a father for Hannah too. You're starting over, so maybe let yourself enjoy life. That might be with just Hannah, but it could be with someone else. Don't close a door. You're divorced, so try dating. Things happen for a reason."

"They do," Sharon said, and her head drifted to Hannah who was still sleeping peacefully. Sharon didn't even want to put her travel crib in Hannah's room yet, not here, at least. It still felt too new, and she realized that was silly, but she was enjoying this, having two of her kids close right now. "Yes, I know things happen for a reason. She happened," Sharon shrugged. "That's brought me here. It's all for a reason. Now, before she's awake again, let's get this trash out of here from the unpacking, get things situated for the day, and we can get going. The movers will be here tomorrow, and we have a lot to do with that. For tonight, I'd like to take two of my kids to dinner, and then, we can relax at the hotel."

"Sounds like a plan," he nodded. "Hotel have a pool and gym?" he asked.

Sharon nodded, "It does. It has breakfast too."

"Perfect," he grinned. "Things happen for a reason, just like you booked a hotel perfect for me, and you didn't even know I was going to be here."

"Things happen for a reason," she hummed and walked down the hall to put the baby wash in Hannah's bathroom.


	29. Chapter 29

Life was certainly full of surprises, and Sharon had been experiencing a lot of them recently. It was now Monday evening, the Monday after Thanksgiving, and she was trying to relax after her first day at work. Yes, work, but it wasn't at the university, not yet anyway. Oddly enough, Sharon had found a part-time job, or maybe, it was the other way around in that a part-time job had found Sharon. She had been busy the last few weeks, settling into her new life. She spent that first weekend in Flagstaff with Ricky, and the two had done a lot of unpacking. She'd hired a small moving company, and the company had done a good job with her furniture. She didn't have much damaged, and so far, she'd only found a lampshade badly dented and unable to use. She'd been really happy with the movers, which was such a relief after reading horror stories in reviews online with other companies. Ricky's visit had been great and welcome; the two accomplished a tremendous amount over that weekend, and she loved watching him with his baby sister. Ricky had left Sunday at lunch to drive back to Phoenix where he had an evening flight back to San Francisco. It had worked perfectly, and she appreciated the effort her middle child made to see her.

That next week, she spent doing more unpacking. She found herself hauling things into and out of her garage storage as she worked on the décor in her apartment. It was finally feeling like home and looking like it too. After several days of working around the apartment, she decided to get out and check out the local scene. With Hannah, the two went to the local coffee shop first, and Sharon enjoyed some quiet time there while Hannah slept in her stroller. She watched locals drift in and out and tried to stay warm with the cold weather drifting inside every time the door opened. After she finished her hot tea, she checked on Hannah, made sure she was warm, and the two continued their window shopping. She didn't get far as she stepped outside of the coffee shop and spotted a florist next door. She couldn't remember the last time she had flowers, and without any thought, she decided to buy something, anything, to brighten her new apartment. It was a spur of the moment idea, but she smiled as she made her way into the flower shop.

 _"Morning," the woman said and looked up at her. "How can I help you?"_

 _"Good morning," Sharon smiled back at her. Sharon took in the woman in front of her. She was older than Sharon, with gray shoulder-length hair and glasses. She had on a solid navy t-shirt with a flannel shirt open over it. Sharon looked around before saying anything more, "Well, I'm not sure, but something told me to come inside today. I was just next door at the coffee shop. I'm new in town and thought I might find something to brighten my place. I'm not even sure why I stopped in, honestly," she chuckled._

 _"I'm Helen," she extended her hand. Sharon walked to the counter and greeted her, putting her hand in Helen's._

 _"Sharon," she nodded in return. "It's nice to meet you, Helen. Are you the owner?" she asked._

 _"I am," she nodded as she looked over the counter at the stroller. "Now, who might this angel be?"_

 _Sharon grinned and gestured to the baby, "This is Hannah, my youngest." Hannah was still sleeping, a light pink blanket tucked around her to keep her warm. She also had on a small white hat._

 _"Youngest," Helen nodded and glanced again at Sharon, almost sizing her up right there. Sharon had the feeling Helen wanted to comment on that, but she didn't. Instead, she said, "How many more do you have at home?"_

 _"Oh," Sharon blushed slightly, "she's the only one at home. My other two are grown and out of the house. As you can see," Sharon gestured to herself, "I'm a little old for this, but she was a very good blessing in disguise."_

 _"Ahh, one of those," Helen smiled. "Well, she's a cutie, and she looks very content and warm there sleeping. So, what brings you here? You have a spouse who was transferred or something?"_

 _"No, divorced," Sharon nodded and gave a small shrug. "Fresh start, and I have a job at the university starting in January. I'll be teaching criminal justice."_

 _"Hmm, we are starting to have more and more in common. I have three kids too, all grown and gone from here," she rolled her eyes slightly. "I'm divorced as well, but I'm not a professor. I've owned this shop for decades, and now, I'm just getting too old for all of it. I hire these college kids to work here, and I don't understand half the things they are discussing with each other," she chuckled._

 _Sharon laughed too and nodded, "I feel the same around some of the young mothers I've met. I'm ancient in comparison. I'm really not a professor either, not exactly. I've been hired as a lecturer for now, and if that goes well and I enjoy it, it may turn into more. This was a good move, and I'm excited about it. I'm actually a retired police officer."_

 _"You? Really?" Helen pulled her head back in surprise. "I'm sorry," she shook her head and nodded to Sharon, "but you just don't strike me as the type. Well, good for you."_

 _"Thanks," Sharon just nodded. "I know what you mean, and I get that response a lot, that I don't look like a cop. I am," she shrugged, "or, I was. Retired LAPD, police captain," Sharon clarified._

 _"Amazing!" Helen smiled. "You don't see that often around here. So, you and little Hannah are here to start a new chapter," she nodded to herself. "Well, you most definitely need flowers, even a nice plant to start you off right."_

 _"That sounds nice, lovely, really," Sharon smiled at her._

 _The two women talked for another 15 minutes before Hannah started to stir. Sharon looked to Helen with a small frown, "I'm afraid I'm going to need to get going. I'll take the plant and this lovely bouquet of mixed flowers."_

 _Helen nodded and waved at her, "You don't have to run out if she needs to be fed. I've got that small table up front where I meet with people planning weddings, funerals, things like that. You're welcome to sit and feed her if you like. It's quiet around here today. Exams are coming up quickly, and my college kids always want more time off. I mean, exams are still a month away, but they all start to panic. It's fine, usually. Then, they go home for the holidays, always leaving me short-staffed."_

 _"Oh, I don't want to bother," Sharon shook her head._

 _"Look, go if you like, but I could use a cup of coffee. I have a pot on in the back. Are you interested? Sounds like we could both use a friend to just chat," she offered._

 _Sharon looked around, and Hannah started to cry more. She looked down at Hannah and back at Helen. She nodded, and then bent over to scoop up Hannah before she shrugged at Helen. She pulled off her hat, "Sure, that sounds lovely."_

 _Over the next hour, the two women talked and found out they had even more in common. There were small breaks in conversation. Helen got two phone orders during that time, and Sharon changed Hannah, but otherwise, the women had time to chat and get to know each other better. Helen had grown up in Flagstaff and had bought the flower shop with her husband over 25 years ago. She'd kept the shop, but she'd divorced the husband. Sharon found they had a lot in common, as Helen's ex-husband had cheated on her and left town with the woman, causing Helen to be the talk of the town for awhile. Sharon shared that she'd had a similar experience, the cheating at least, but then, further, that Jack had abandoned her with two small children. The topic of Hannah's paternity was not specifically discussed, and Sharon just left it without explanation. She did tell Helen she was only recently divorced after being separated for years, allowing Helen to assume Hannah belonged to her ex-husband. Helen never asked. Right now, Sharon had decided that was easier than explaining anything else._

 _After Hannah had been fed and the women had enjoyed their coffee, Sharon was burping Hannah on her shoulder, patting her back, when Helen asked if she could hold her._

 _"May I?' she gestured and gave her a small smile. "I've been watching you with that darling baby, and I'd love to hold her a moment if you don't mind. My kids are out of the house, but none have kids yet. I'm not a grandma, even if I look like one."_

 _"Sure," Sharon gave her another smile and gave Hannah to her. "She's getting big, and I'm just waiting for the day she starts really grabbing my hair. She latched onto t a handful of it the other day, but it seemed to be by accident. She didn't know what to do with it," Sharon started to laugh._

 _"Hannah, you are a beauty," Helen said with Hannah in her arms. "I love your dark hair against your light complexion. Hmmm, you are going to have boys after you."_

 _Sharon chuckled and held up her hand, "I'm not in any hurry for that. She's growing so fast already. I'm not sure if I will ever understand how the pregnancy seems endless, but this now," she nodded to Hannah, "goes by in the blink of an eye."_

 _"Before you know it, she will be crawling and walking, talking even. They do grow quickly. What are you going to do with her when you start work?" Helen asked._

 _Sharon took a deep breath and gave Helen a sympathetic glance, "Cry," she said and let out a low chuckle. "No, I mean, I will be fine. She will be fine. I've always worked. I'm looking forward to working, but it will be hard leaving her. I suppose some of my fear, hmmm not fear, but anxiety is due to the fact I don't know what to expect for either of us. Before, I knew my job, and returning to it was easy. Now, it's all new. This town is new. Our home is new. My job will be new, and daycare for Hannah will be new. I'll be fine," she nodded. "It's just all so new, and I'm adjusting."_

 _Helen gave her a small smile and patted her hand with her free one. She looked down to Hannah in her arms, "Well, she is doing just fine, so that means you are already doing a great job. You've had a lot of change this year it sounds. Do you have family in town to help?"_

 _"No," Sharon gave her a small smile, "we are on our own. My parents are in Phoenix, but they are older. My kids are out of state, and I left a lot of my life behind in California. It's nice to start over, but honestly, it's a bit lonely too. That's one of the reasons we got out of the house today."_

 _"So, between now and January, do you have ways to meet other moms or other people?" Helen asked._

 _Sharon bit her lip, "I'm not sure I really fit with other moms, at least ones with infants. I'm just so much older than most. I'm going to try the Catholic Church, but I just don't know. My son advised me to get out of the house and not be a hermit," she chuckled. "I'm trying."_

 _"This sounds crazy," Helen told her, but she shrugged and continued, "as I'm a believer in things happening for a reason. I could really use some seasonal help. I told you I usually have a few college kids on my staff, but most will be going home. I think I have one, maybe two who will be here through the holidays. We are pretty busy then, which," she chuckled, "I know, doesn't look like it right now. I could use an extra hand. Now, I am simple. What you see is what you get. I can't offer much in pay, but I would have no problem with you bringing Hannah with you, whatever you need to do. You can put up some sort of bed thing for her in the back if you want. I don't need you all the time, just a few hours a week. It would help me a lot. I have only just met you, and you've only just met me. We could totally hate each other," she grinned at Sharon and continued, "but we could also work really well together. Are you at all interested? It would be a nice way to meet some of the locals."_

 _Sharon looked to her, the shock evident on her face. She shook her head, "I don't know what to say," she finally admitted._

 _Helen nodded and continued to look at Hannah, "Think about it. I really do need some help. I don't mind Hannah here at all. The idea just came to me as we talked. You need to meet people, and I need to hire help. Hannah might just bring in more business," she chuckled. "People love cute babies."_

 _Sharon pursed her lips and nodded, "You said you need some help, just seasonal?"_

 _Helen shrugged, "Yes, at least for now. If you have travel plans, I'm flexible. It might work. It might be awful. What do you have to lose? If you have one of those baby carrier things, you could even wear her. I really don't mind. This is a small family-style business. It would be nice having another mature adult here," she winked at Sharon._

 _"Can I think about it, at least for today?" Sharon asked._

 _"Please," Helen nodded. "I can tell you are a thinker. Just let me know."_

 _Sharon nodded and said, "I will think about it. It might be perfect. I've spent the majority of my career dealing with a lot of sadness. I've seen some of the worst in people. It might be nice to deal with something bright and cheery, to be around flowers. Flowers just have a way of warming one's heart."_

Now, here at the end of November, Sharon was relaxing on her couch after her first day at the flower shop. She had a vase full of flowers sitting in front of her, and she couldn't help but smile at that. The month had flown by. Thanksgiving was already over now. For that, she'd enjoyed a nice long weekend in Phoenix with her parents and Ricky to celebrate the holiday. They had all spoiled her and sent her out for an afternoon on her own while they watched Hannah. Sharon had taken Ricky to dinner while her parents doted on their youngest granddaughter. It had been good for family time, even though Emily couldn't fly there to be with all of them. She'd also told them of her new job and just how excited she was about it. Yes, she had taken the job. That day, back when she'd first met Helen, she'd taken two hours to think over the offer before calling Helen and telling her they had a deal. Sharon told her she had plans to see her family over Thanksgiving, and with that in mind, the women decided Sharon would start the Monday after Thanksgiving. Now, she was exhausted, as was Hannah, who was sleeping on Sharon's chest.

It felt good to work, to get out of the apartment and do something. This job had fallen into her lap, and it seemed to be just perfect for her right now. She wasn't looking for a job that had her working 12+ hours a day. She was looking for a way to be social, to get out of the house, and also a way to spend time with her daughter. She'd done all of that today, and it felt great. It wasn't about the money. Helen had apologized for not being able to pay her much over minimum wage, but Sharon didn't care. She had her pension, and she would be making decent money at the university. No, this would be perfect for the holiday season. It put her into the holiday spirit, a spirit she loved. She'd worked five hours today, and it felt great. To be honest, she had to admit it was nice to get back into a routine of sorts. Hannah had done well too, which Sharon knew might not always be the case, but today, she'd done well. Sharon had worn her in the carrier for part of the time she'd been working, and she'd even put her in her travel crib for her nap. Helen had cleared out a space for that in her office, and it had gone smoothly. Thankfully, Helen didn't mind when Hannah needed to be fed, and that too, had gone well. Yes, things did happen for a reason, and Sharon now knew that this job was just the right thing for her as she was settling into life in Flagstaff.


	30. Chapter 30

It had been a day. It had been a week, actually, and all Andy wanted to do was go home. He'd barely had time to think about work the last few days. His sister was sick, really sick. That news, now, he'd had for a couple of weeks, but that kind of news didn't just blow over easily. She'd been diagnosed with cancer, and it wasn't good. He'd spent way too much money on a last-minute plane ticket on Thanksgiving Day to fly to New York to see here again. He knew it was silly to fork out the almost $1,000 for a ticket, but it was what it was. It was the holiday season, yes, but his sister needed him. It also didn't help the dumb ticket had come with two layovers, and honestly, after everything with the long flights and travel, he'd only seen her 32 hours before he had to fly back to Los Angeles. Still, she was family, and he would do anything for his family.

Now that he was back in L.A., he'd been trying to balance work with his family issues. It was the first of December, the month of Christmas, and it was bound to be a busy month. Aside from the holiday bustle, the murder rate usually skyrocketed this time of year. Today, he was grateful for a mindless desk day. He needed it. He still hadn't caught up on sleep from his travels, now over a week ago, but that didn't matter. They'd caught a case right away, one now they were filing paperwork to close. At the end of the day, he was healthy; his sister was sick.

The two had talked during his very short visit. Andy really had wanted to stay longer, but work just wasn't making that possible. He'd taken one day off for his travels, but anything more would have required a big scheduling mess. It wasn't that he couldn't ask the chief for that, but right now, he needed to save those days for when Angela was in the middle of chemo. He figured he would set aside a block of time to really go and see her, when he could help. This trip, while costly, was priceless just to be with his sister. What was money now when someone he loved was fighting a battle for her life? Their dad was still alive, but he was very old and lived in a nursing home. Andy took an hour to see him on the trip too, but his father really didn't understand what was going on with Angela. The trip had been sad, but necessary, even with the cost. Today, he just wanted to walk out and go home. Work didn't seem important, not when he had a sister with cancer.

"Good afternoon everyone," the team glanced up and saw Taylor stroll into the room. Andy glanced up at him and groaned. He wanted to wipe the smug expression off Taylor. The two used to be close, but over the last few years, Taylor had rubbed him the wrong way too many times. Provenza let out an actual sigh, one heard by the team, and many started to chuckle.

Brenda, who really didn't like Taylor just wandering around, walked out of her office. Yes, Taylor worked with them, but anytime he was just walking around, grinning, they all knew he was up to no good. She slowly walked out of her office with a stack of paperwork in hand, which Andy knew was only a cover to fish out Taylor's reason for appearing.

"Commander Taylor, what have we done to be so lucky?" Brenda asked with her fake smile. "Last I saw you early this morning, you said you were in meetings all day, mostly with Pope. Now, normally, we can't pry you from his side," she flashed another fake smile at him. "Why are we so blessed today?"

"Oh, just taking a quick break," Taylor offered a playful shrug and grin. "I'm just stretching my legs, you know, checking on my team."

Brenda narrowed her gaze, "My team and I have been functioning just fine. Now, the team is hard at work, and I think you are distracting them," she nodded to the group. They all had turned to watch the interaction, and at the mention of being busy, the team all turned back to their paperwork.

"Right, right," Taylor nodded. "I understand. We've been busy too, all day already. It's amazing just how much needs to be done in a department of this size. Glad we can have this meeting of the minds to fill the gaps and cover everything."

Brenda tried not to roll her eyes at him, but Provenza didn't hide it. He looked up to Taylor, "Commander, anything we can help you with today? You must have come back here for a reason because there are plenty of places to stretch your legs. I know I wouldn't choose to do that by returning to my office," he chuckled.

"Nah," Taylor waved. "I'm just walking and thinking. Honestly, I'll probably walk around a few floors, try to get a feel for who might fill our big hole with Captain Raydor retiring."

Andy, who was desperately trying to ignore Taylor, spit out his coffee at that admission. Brenda started to choke on the food she had in her mouth. She coughed twice before she cleared her throat. All eyes turned quickly to Taylor, and as expected, his eyes sparkled knowing he was sharing a secret.

"Wait, oh, you hadn't heard," he shook his head and sighed. "Sorry about that, but just for now, keep this between all of us," he used his finger to draw a circle.

"Raydor is retiring?" Brenda said quickly. "When?"

"Retiring?" Andy stood quickly. Provenza caught his eye and shook his head, warning him to be careful with what he said. "Are you serious?"

Taylor started to chuckle and nodded to Andy, "Flynn, try to contain your excitement. I know," he nodded. "It's shocking. We didn't see it coming. I wasn't sure who would be more excited, you or the chief." Buzz walked over to Andy with a roll of paper towels to clean up the coffee he'd spilled. Andy took the roll only after Buzz gestured it at him. Andy was speechless and just stood there.

"Taylor is this one of your dumb games?" Provenza looked up at him and gave him a shrug. "I can't get to excited about anything until I know the source. Where did you hear this? I know how rumors get out of hand."

"Oh, it's happening," Taylor said. "That's from Pope directly."

"Retiring," Brenda repeated. "Well, I'll say. When does this happen? When is her last day? Here, we've all been enjoying not having her around during her maternity leave, and you are telling us it's permanent?"

"Chief, you were asking for her during that last case when one of her sergeants messed up the paperwork," Mike pointed out.

"Oh hush," she waved him off and looked to Taylor. "We just need the right person for that job. When does she retire?"

"It's already happened," he explained. He grinned to the team, "She's gone. Paperwork is signed, sealed, and delivered. She talked Pope into rolling it all into her maternity leave, so she's not coming back. Even her office, apparently, we are supposed to pack and notify a lawyer," he paused to remember the name. "I can't remember his name, but apparently he's will have a courier pick up her things when her office is emptied. No, this was all done with Pope behind closed doors."

"She's retired? Like, she's already gone?" Andy repeated and crossed his arms. "Something is off. Why wouldn't she come back for her things? Raydor, of all people doesn't strike me as one to sneak off into the retirement sunset. Why isn't she even coming back to her office?"

Taylor shrugged, "Not sure, exactly, but she told Pope she had another job. I don't have the details. He doesn't have much either. She asked him not to say anything, and well," he shrugged. "Pope didn't. I mean, it had to come up in our meeting, but I was not asked to keep it under wraps. That may have been implied, but" he shrugged again and winked, "I just knew some of you would be glad to get the news."

Andy ran his hand over his face. He was shocked and felt like he needed to sit. "Flynn!" he heard and looked to see Provenza now standing glaring at him. "Flynn let's celebrate. Let's start a pot of coffee. We can enjoy that in honor of her leaving." Andy started to argue, but he caught Provenza looking at him again and just nodded. He'd been a little slow to see that Provenza was trying to pull him out of the situation.

"That's it?" Taylor shrugged and looked around at everyone. "Man, I thought you would all start jumping up and down and throw a big party. Let me repeat this-Raydor is retired. She's already gone. It's happened."

Julio frowned, "I hope everything is okay with the baby. I'd hate to hear she retired because there was a problem."

Andy, who was already following Provenza to the door, paused at the mention of that. Provenza turned back to him and gestured with hand to keep going.

"Maybe she wanted to slow down," Brenda offered. "I know she's not my favorite person," she paused and when she caught many of them staring at her, she rolled her eyes. "Fine, we don't like each other, but she seemed really happy with her daughter. Maybe this job is just too much."

"Taylor," Andy paused again, turned, and pointed at him, "you said another job? What is she doing?"

"Beats me," Taylor gave him a simple shrug. "What I told you is all I know, and quite frankly, all Pope seems to know. Anyone else want to see what I might know?" he flashed a grin.

"Taylor, always, always a pleasure," Provenza said in his most sarcastic tone. "Chief, we'll be back with coffee."

Provenza waited in the hall for Andy, and then he grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him down the hall. Andy started to say something, but Provenza glared at him and made a gesturing "zip it" comment with his own finger across his mouth. He pulled him into the men's bathroom, the first door the two came to outside of the office.

"Retired!" Andy bellowed as soon as Provenza pulled them inside and checked the stalls. He walked back over and locked the door to let Andy talk without interruption.

"Keep it down!" Provenza hissed.

"She retired?" Andy gestured with his hand. He spun around to look at Provenza again. "Provenza, I was counting on her back at work. I need to see Hannah, and that's the way I can do that. What is she thinking?"

Provenza leaned back against the sink while Andy paced. He crossed his arms and shook his head, "I'm guessing she was thinking this through all along. She got the kid away from you, retired, and she's out of the LAPD. In her eyes, she won't need to see you again."

"Yeah, well, I need to see Hannah," Andy sighed. He ran his hand through his hair, "I have given her space, and now, I don't know why. I've been miserable. As crappy as she's been to me, I need to see her and Hannah."

Provenza eyed him and sighed, "Please, tell me you need to rephrase that sentence. I don't know if I can be around you, Flynn, if you are still stuck on her. It couldn't have been THAT good. It's been almost a year, and surely, by now, we can find you someone whose company you enjoy more."

Andy stopped pacing and looked at him, "The woman is nuts. She's treated me like crap, yet, I can't get enough of it. I have a kid, Provenza. Don't you think I owe it to her to try?"

"Try what?" Provenza eyed him.

"To try!" Andy exclaimed, as if that explained everything.

"Try being her dad?" Provenza asked. "That ship has sailed. She cut you out of her life, or rather, you allowed that to happen."

"That," Andy nodded, "and more. I told you I liked her. She's a total mess, an emotional train wreck, but it's like fatal attraction," he sighed. "I haven't stopped thinking of her, of them, of either one of them."

"You remember how a fatal attraction ends, right?" Provenza said. "We see them almost every week right here in our office. Let me spell it out, R."

"Oh, stuff it," Andy waved at him.

"Just what did you think would happen, Flynn? Did you honestly think she'd come back to work, she'd let you play with the baby, see the baby, and you two would walk out of here one night and live happily ever after?" Provenza asked.

Andy gave him a sheepish look, and Provenza threw up his hands. "Flynn! Are you delusional? Wait, don't answer that. Of course, you are delusional. She's gone. She left. She doesn't want you anywhere near her."

"Yeah, I'm aware now! I see that, but I'm telling you, she's making a big mistake. I mean, just think of the medical information I need to give her. I wanted to talk to her about that, to tell her about Angela. I've got to call her. She might let it go to voicemail, but she's going to get an earful from me," he said and dug out his phone.

Provenza just ran his hand through his hair. He watched as Andy waited for her to answer. Andy's eyes widened, "Disconnected! She changed her number?"

"Probably didn't want the department calling her all the time, not to mention delusional lieutenants," Provenza scoffed. "We can't stay in here. Lock down your," he gestured to Andy, "feelings, and we need to go back in there. Oh, we have to go make coffee. Come on," he nodded. He unlocked the bathroom and walked to the break room area. Andy was still standing at the bathroom door, going through his phone.

"Flynn!" he hissed. Andy waved at him, and Provenza started back to him.

"I'm coming," he grumbled. The two walked into the break room, and thankfully, found it empty. Andy closed the door and stood by it while Provenza went to find coffee, so they at least completed their mission.

"Gavin Baker, please," Andy said. Provenza turned back and found Andy on the phone. "No, I don't want advice on a legal matter. I called his cell, so I'd like to speak to him. No, I'm not paying a fee to talk by the hour. THIS ISN'T A LEGAL MATTER," Andy said loudly into the phone. "He's in court? Can I somehow leave him a message on his personal cell? No, I don't want to text him. Tell him to call me or else," Andy said sternly.

"Flynn! Provenza hissed. "That's going to sound like a threat to that lowly assistant. Clean it up!"

Andy rolled his eyes, "Fine, tell Gavin that Lieutenant Andy Flynn, LAPD called, and I need to speak to him on an urgent matter." He paused for a moment. "No! I just told you this is personal. He'll know. Trust me," Andy snarled again. "Andy Flynn, and yes, he has my information. Believe me, this isn't something you want to see come across in a text message," he said again. "What, is he too good to just turn off his phone in court? He has to give it to a person like you?"

"Flynn! You want the guy to call you back!" Provenza yelled again. Andy waved at him.

"Have him call me immediately. I will find him later if I don't hear from him," Andy threatened and hung up the phone.

Andy smacked his phone down onto the table and let out a loud sigh. He gestured to Provenza, "I can't get him."

"Gee, I thought you two had set a lunch date," Provenza smirked. "I'm just waiting for some patrol cop to come and arrest you after that call. You probably have that poor assistant thinking you are coming after him or her."

Provenza waited on the coffee, and Andy started to pace again. He shook his head, "She has known this for how long? I can't believe it. She had no intention of letting me see Hannah, none. Retired! She's left the LAPD."

"Taylor, if we can trust his information, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but right now it sounds like we can, said she had another job. Maybe she's working private security or something," he shrugged. "You and I know this job is demanding. I'm guessing she wanted something away from you and away from this mess of a job."

"No," Andy put his hand up to his mouth and shook his head. "We actually discussed this one day on that stupid drive. We talked about retirement. She said she was going to retire when her kid finished college. I know he's not done. It was like at least another two or three years. Hannah changed it," he nodded to himself. "Wait, she said she wanted to teach when she retired."

"Teach?" Provenza asked, a horrified expression on his face. "Wait, like she wants to teach at the academy?"

"No," Andy shook his head, "like college, community college or whatever. You know I've done a couple of night school lectures in the past for some extra cash. Places are always looking for decorated and experienced cops to lecture. That's what she wanted to do."

Provenza nodded and started pouring coffee into the Styrofoam cups. He cleared his throat, "Well, as much as I'd hate having her as a teacher, I can see that. It would certainly free up time to be with Hannah, and we both know this job can be dangerous, even for Raydor. No cop is exempt from injury. So, teach," he nodded. "You think Gavin will tell you?"

"If he doesn't, I'm just going to her place when I leave here. I can't believe she retired! I've tried to respect her space. I've been counting down the days until she is back at work because I want to talk to her, and now, she's gone!"

"She is, but let's remember, she's done nothing wrong, legally. Is it crappy? Probably," he nodded. "She legally doesn't have to inform you of anything, something she was obviously well aware of when she got you to sign those papers. Flynn, she's not required to let you see Hannah at all."

Andy waved at him, and he jumped when his phone rang. He flew over to the table, and as he reached for it, he swatted at it, and it flew across the table and onto the floor. Andy moved quickly and groaned when he saw the phone had a crack on the screen now. "Gavin?"

 _"Lieutenant Flynn, I assume you are locked up in jail where they are ready to throw away the key after calling my assistant like that. "Care to explain before she calls the police-and I don't mean you," he stated._

 _Andy sighed, and nodded, "Yeah, sorry about that. Look, I just heard Sharon retired. She won't answer her phone. What's going on? I'm going to her place after work."_

 _"Hmm, yes, that was my other thought regarding your call. I said to myself it was jail or Sharon," he sighed. "Don't waste a trip to her condo. She's not there."_

 _"Where is she?" Andy asked._

 _"Gone," Gavin told him. "She moved out of state a month ago now, or just about. I'm going crazy without her here," he let out a slow chuckle, "but sounds like you are the one going crazy. She and little Hannah are gone."_

 _"Gone! She's moved!" Andy exclaimed. Provenza looked to him, his eyes now wide at the mention of moving. "Where did she move?"_

 _"That, I can't say," he told Andy. "Look, before you do something stupid, just come by my office-no wait," he chuckled. "My assistant would probably call for security. Let's just meet at the courthouse, outside the courthouse. I'm still here and will be here for another hour. I'll meet you just outside the courthouse, say the coffee shop next to that mailing supply store. 4:30 work for you?"_

 _Andy glanced at his watch, but he didn't register the time. He nodded, "Yeah, 4:30. I'll be there, and you are going to explain."_

 _"Don't threaten, Lieutenant. It's unbecoming," he sighed. "So, I suppose this means someone has spilled Sharon's retirement secret there. Hmm, she thought it would leak before Thanksgiving. Impressive."_

 _"You'll tell me what's going on, Gavin," Andy told him._

 _"Hmm, more like I'm going to go back to court, and I will meet a much calmer Lieutenant Flynn at 4:30. Bye," he said and hung up the phone._

"She moved?" Provenza exclaimed when Andy hung up the phone. Andy just nodded, and Provenza continued, "Where?"

Andy shook his head, "Gavin won't say, just that she moved out of state."

Provenza whistled and just stood there, looking at Andy. "Grab some coffee," he nodded to the cups. "Let's get these to the team. Then, you need to collect yourself. Tell Chief you have a family emergency. I'll back it up, and it is the truth."

Andy just nodded. He walked across the room, grabbed the coffee, and the two walked back to the office. "Provenza, she played me. She took Hannah away, knowing she wanted to move away from me."

"She didn't force you to sign. Remember, you are the one so convinced you can't be a father. Sure, you can FATHER a child, but you keep saying you can't BE a father. She took the kid you gave her and left," he pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I want to be there for Hannah. Since I first saw her, I haven't stopped thinking about her. People make mistakes. I made one thinking I could walk away from Hannah. Sharon is making a huge one. She's so controlling. She always has been, and I've got to talk to her," he sighed.

Provenza put his hand on the office door and turned back to Andy. He closed his eyes and shook his head, "Flynn, this is a slippery slope. You can't have it all. You can't just get her to change. You and I both know that."

Andy sighed and dropped his head, "Look, I realize she's a control freak, but if nothing else, I have to tell her about Angela. That is important medical information for Hannah. I've got that paperwork, paperwork Angela copied. I gave a copy of it to Nicole, one to Nathan, and I have one for Hannah. I am hoping Gavin will at least tell me where she is, so I can get that to her. I just want the best for my daughter. I'm not sure Sharon, alone, is the best, but she still haunts me."

"There you are," Gabriel said as he came down the hall from a different direction. "We were all wondering if you went out for coffee."

"No, just the office junk," Provenza said, handing him a cup. "That coffee pot is slow."

"Yeah, well, I'm not coughing up my own cash for a new one. "Thanks," he said as he accepted a cup. "Chief is ready to celebrate," he grinned.

Andy just gave him a small smile, and Provenza gestured for Andy to walk in the office while he held the door. 4:30 couldn't come soon enough.


	31. Chapter 31

There was no question Provenza was a good friend. Andy knew that and was grateful Provenza was covering for him while he waited for Gavin. It was 4:45, and Gavin had sent him a text message saying he was still at the courthouse. Andy was ready to shake down the guy when he walked into the coffee shop. Sharon had moved. Andy couldn't get it out of his head, the idea she'd left town with his daughter. He sighed. Legally, yes, he knew Sharon could do that. He'd given up the rights to his daughter, but he never thought she would leave. He felt like things were left unsaid, that things were still a mess, and with all that in mind, he needed to speak to her. His life was a mess, a total mess. He had a sister sick with cancer. He had an ex-wife who nagged him constantly about anything she could. He had kids who barely wanted to spend time with him. He had a Sharon problem, and he had a kid, a baby, he'd held ONCE. ONE TIME. He knew almost nothing about her, and he was desperate for more.

If there was a bright spot, it would have to be his interaction with Nicole, and even that was still strained. "Bright spot" might be pushing it, but she had at least contacted him recently. He'd met with the kids to tell them about their aunt, and Nicole had been very concerned. Nathan had listened, but he'd then just thanked Andy for the information. Nicole had called him twice since then, wanting to know how Angela was doing, and if he could find a bright spot in this mess, it was that. He hoped, in time, that he would improve his relationship with his older daughter. He sighed thinking about that, his older daughter, because, yes, he had two of them. Neither one knew of the other, and there was a distinct possibility neither would ever know of the other. He couldn't imagine a world without Hannah in it now. Yes, he'd screwed up big time. He knew it, but he had been rationalizing it by telling himself he would see Sharon constantly at work, and with that, he would see Hannah. Provenza had hit a nerve when he'd pointed out that, possibly, Andy saw a fairy tale in the mess, but even Andy knew now that wasn't going to happen. Right now, though, he needed answers.

Andy couldn't stand waiting any longer. He stood, collected his things, and he moved outside. It was brisk, which wasn't surprising. It was December in California, and while not cold, it was brisk. It was now after 5:00. Gavin was really late, and Andy just wanted an answer, one single answer.

He started to pace in front of the coffee shop, the bitter coffee almost hard to swallow. He had lost count for the day; he thought this was the fifth cup of coffee, but it might be the sixth. Right now, he was wired and knew it wasn't just from the coffee.

"Lieutenant Flynn," he heard and spun around to see Gavin casually walking toward him. Andy wanted to shake the guy; here, he was in a personal crisis, and Gavin was walking slowly toward him, not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle on his polished suit.

"Gavin! What is going on?" Andy walked toward him gesturing as he did. People watching the two might have thought Andy was ready to throw a punch. Gavin paused, frowned, and he reached into his suit jacket pocket where he pulled out a long while envelope. The envelope had been folded in half, but Gavin unfolded it and nodded for Andy to take it.

"That's from her. She asked me to give that to you when she moved. She moved almost a month ago now, and quite frankly, I'm impressed you've kept your distance. I even told her that. She might not tell you, but I know she appreciated you giving her the space she wanted. I can't imagine, even now, that it's easy to just see your own flesh and blood and walk away. I know you are a decent guy, Lieutenant. Sharon is my best friend, and I hope you understand I won't break her confidence and tell you where she's gone out of state."

"She's teaching, isn't she?" Andy blurted out, as he stared at the white envelope now in his hand. He glanced up at Gavin, who was clearly shocked with that question. "You don't need to answer. The expression on your face tells me I'm right. Yeah, you didn't think I'd know that, did you? Sure, she and I had an arrangement, an agreement, but we talked. We talked a lot for several days, and I know there's more there. She's a total train wreck. You can even tell her I said that because it's true. She has major commitment issues, is a control freak, is ridiculously smart, and we can now add calculating to the list."

Gavin raised his eyebrows at Andy and pursed his lips. He then clasped both hands over his briefcase handle and gave a single nod to Andy, "You do know her, better than she thought," he said and continued to nod. "Look, I didn't open that, but I am guessing, knowing Sharon, she told you that she and Hannah are going to be just fine."

"I have some paperwork for her," Andy blurted out again, and this time, Gavin narrowed his gaze in a challenging tone. Andy noted it, and he quickly held up his hands in defense. "No, it's nothing like you think. I'm not going after her for Hannah. This is about Hannah, though, or it could be. My sister is sick," he said quickly and looked to Gavin for a reaction. Gavin just narrowed his gaze, trying to follow.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied.

Andy nodded and continued, "My sister would be or is Hannah's aunt. She's sick, cancer," he explained. "Going back, it seems to run in the family, several generations with a few different cancers, some might have been the same, but," he sighed and shook his head. "Let's just say that due to family factors and just medical science in general, I don't have a complete picture of the cancer history for my family, but I want Sharon to know. Hannah should know for her future. I've made copies of her records, my sister's records," he clarified. "My sister gave me a copy of her reports, and I've given one to each of my kids. Hannah is still my flesh and blood," he eyed Gavin. "I want her to have this medical information, please," he finished and looked to Gavin.

Gavin sighed and shook his head, "Look, you know she's teaching. That's impressive. It's not that she wanted to run away," he paused when Andy zoned in and stared at him even more. "Okay," he threw up his hands, "she did run. I can give her that paperwork."

"No," Andy shook his head. "I believe I'm at least owed a talk with her, about this," he gestured in the air. "Wait, she's out of state. She went back to Arizona, didn't she? I remember she said she didn't want to be near her parents-like not in the same city, but she did want to be closer to them. I'm guessing she would want Hannah to know her grandparents while they are still alive," he nodded to himself. "They are in the Phoenix area," he nodded to himself, recalling the information.

"Honestly, Lieutenant, I'm not sure Jack even knows that much," Gavin started to chuckle. "I am one-impressed she shared that much with you, and two-impressed you remembered."

"Told you, there was something about her, and I'm a detective. I remember details," Andy nodded to him again. "Fatal attraction," he enunciated. "That's how Provenza and I have described it. I want Hannah to get this information. So, she's teaching in Arizona, Sharon is?" he nodded as he asked.

"You're a detective," Gavin looked to him. "You've figured out this much from just the initial clues you have, but you'd better believe if you break a single law trying to find her, we will come after you."

Andy ran his hand through his hair, trying to recall more information. He shook his head as he did so, "She mentioned the extreme heat bothered her. Did she go north?" Gavin's eyes widened, and Andy pointed at him. "She did. You, Gavin, have a terrible poker face. Just tell me the city. Sedona? Flagstaff? That's what I can think of off the top of my head, but I'll become an Arizona geography guru if I need to over the next day or so."

Gavin reached and patted the envelope, "Sounds like you have a start. I'm leaving now."

"Are you going to tell Sharon?" Andy asked. Gavin met his gaze.

"I'm going to tell her you have the envelope. That's it. I'm trying to stay out of this as much as possible, but you two both try to put me in the middle. Hannah is a priority, and I see she is to you. When you find her, and I believe you will, I suggest you start with flowers and coffee, Lieutenant. I know you aren't some danger to Sharon. I would be more concerned if you were. Look, I'm not the detective, but I realize you aren't going to back off until you put eyes on the two of them. That's your deal. Whenever you go-and wherever you go, start with flowers, the kind from a flower shop, not just ones from a grocery store. Get her tea or coffee; she will drink both, but find somewhere to do at least that. She will find it hard to turn you away if you show up with a couple things she enjoys, even if you take flowers to sweet little Hannah and tea to Sharon. Best of luck, Lieutenant," he nodded and then, he started walking down the street. Andy watched him walk for a few moments before it dawned on him he had the envelope in his hand. He looked at it. The envelope looked slightly worn, and it had been folded in half until Gavin gave it to him. He rand his hand over it, and he noted there was no name on the front. Obviously, it was clear this was to be delivered to him. He looked around, trying to decide what to do and finally decided to go back inside the coffee shop where he could read it.

At this time of the day, the shop wasn't terribly busy. It was that rush hour time now, and most people were rushing home, not rushing out for coffee. He found a table in the corner and sat, flattening the envelope almost as if that would change anything inside. He finally opened it, and he pulled out two things. The first made him smile. It was a picture of Hannah, one that was at least a month old he guessed if Sharon had left him this envelope when she moved. Hannah was sitting at an angle in her bouncy seat, and he noted she had on a bunny sleeper, one he remembered buying because it had white fuzzy bunny feet, just as this outfit did. He had no idea if that was intentional, the outfit in the picture, but he was glad to see that Sharon had at least kept the clothing. He also smiled and ran his hand over the picture, over her head. She had dark hair, a decent amount of it too, and he could see her dark eyes. Her coloring was very light, making her dark hair stand out even more. Her hair was smooth and flat on her head, not like some babies he'd seen where the hair was going in a thousand directions. She looked long, at least to him, and she was thin. That didn't surprise him; he didn't' expect her to be a big chubby baby after she'd been small at birth. He smiled at the photo. She was gorgeous, and Sharon had captured a great moment. Her eyes were open, and she'd been looking at the camera. He put that down, reluctantly, and he opened the note, noticing it was handwritten.

 _Dear Andy,_

 _I must admit, it sounds odd writing that, Andy, because to me, even through this mess, I've tried to keep it professional as Lieutenant Flynn. I realize you are more than your job, just as I am more than mine, so with that, I will leave it at Andy._

 _If you are reading this, it means you know I've retired and moved. Gavin has given you this note, and by now, hopefully, I'm settled with Hannah. She and I are fine, just fine. I'm grateful to have her, and I will raise her to be a strong, independent young woman just as I did with Emily. I want to thank you for giving her up, for letting me have her. I can imagine that while it looked easy enough that day, it's probably been increasingly harder and harder for you to accept. It's for the best. You and I were nothing more than a convenience to each other for a few nights, and that should not tie us together for the rest of our lives. It won't now. Hannah and I are ready to start a new chapter._

 _I enclosed a picture because in all my reflection, I realized it was unfair of me to not even give you that much. I saw you at the condo; I know Provenza was distracting me, so you could spend time with Hannah and take her picture. After you left, I realized I owed you at least that much. There she is, my sweet Hannah. She's a delightful baby, and even though I didn't want you to hold her, I realize now I was being selfish. Thank you for handling it so gracefully when I could not do the same._

 _I would also like to apologize for everything, for my behavior with you. I know I was difficult, and I am sorry for treating you so badly. For so long, I was upset with my pregnancy, while also fiercely protective of the innocent baby we created. I didn't want to lose her when I was pregnant, but if it makes sense, on some level, I also didn't want to have her. My feelings were all over the place. I resented you for "doing this to me," and yes, I realize WE were both involved in the process. I was mad at myself for being vulnerable, for starting our mess in the first place, even if, briefly, it felt good to just live. I want to live my life, to enjoy life, and she's now part of that. Quickly, at least by the time I heard her heartbeat in the doctor's office, I realized I couldn't live without her, that one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life was so unexpected and unplanned. Know I will take care of her, and I will love her with everything I have. She will grow up knowing she is loved. I expect there will be a day she will ask me about her father, and I'll tell her he was a police officer. That time is far in the distance, so I have time to think it through, but know I won't paint you in some awful light. I simply won't. When she's older, if she pushes me, I'll tell her the specifics, but that is something again I will address when and if she asks._

 _I hope life treats you well. I hope you find what you want and are happy. Hannah and I will be happy. Thank you for allowing that. Thank you for the greatest gift I didn't know I wanted._

 _Sharon_

Andy sat for a moment and stared at the letter. He read it again, and when he finished, he was irritated. He shook his head and started talking to himself, "Fine, just fine! She will grow up knowing she's loved! Yeah, I love her too, Sharon!" he exclaimed and quickly lowered his voice when he drew the attention of a couple others in the coffee shop. He quickly crumpled the paper and instantly regretted it. He smoothed it back out and tried to undo what he'd just done to it, the damage visible now. The letter was a mess, and instead of trying to smooth it more, he sighed and just folded the thing. He pulled out his wallet and put the letter inside. The picture, though, he looked down at it again and couldn't help but let out an audible grunt at the sight of his beautiful baby girl. The picture, he would protect with his life, just as he wanted to do to the actual baby in it; he wanted to protect her, but he also knew that part of protecting someone was at least knowing where they were.

He was drawn out of his thought when his phone rang. He pulled it from his belt clip and nodded. Provenza. He ran his hand through his hair as he answered, "Provenza," he sighed.

"Well?" he asked. "What did you find out? I'm dying here, Flynn. You didn't call me to tell me."

Andy sighed, "Gavin wouldn't tell me, but it's what he didn't say, or at least what I said that gave me a lot of information."

"Flynn! Stop talking in code! What does that mean?" Provenza yelled at him.

"Hey! Stop yelling!" Andy yelled back. He raised his hand in apology to the few people still inside the coffee shop. "What I mean is that I started going back over the conversations I've had with her, and I put together that she's teaching criminal justice or whatever somewhere in Arizona, the north part. Gavin wouldn't confirm or deny that; actually, as I said it, he told me something about being a good detective or whatever, but that's where she is. She's teaching in Arizona."

"Arizona?" Provenza asked. "Really?"

"Her parents are from Phoenix. She mentioned not wanting to live right there by them, but knowing her, she would want Hannah near her grandparents. Sharon said her parents were getting older and needing more. Believe me, I get that," he sighed.

"Well, now that you have narrowed it that far, what makes you certain you can actually find her? It's still like a needle in a haystack," Provenza told him. "I mean, you aren't that good of a detective."

"Ha, funny guy," Andy snapped back at him. "I'll find her. I am going to start by searching for schools, for departments, and I am confident I will find her. Then, I'm going there to talk to her. She owes me that much."

"No, no," Provenza told him. "You aren't doing that alone."

"Great, fine," Andy gestured with his hand even though he was on the phone. "Come with me. That's fine with me. I'm going to talk to her."

"Someone needs to make sure you aren't arrested and thrown in jail," Provenza grumbled.

"I'm going go to go home and start my search. As soon as I can find her, I'm out of here, whether you come with me or not," he explained.

"Now, listen, Flynn," Provenza told him and continued, "let's think this through right now. We still have work this week. We're on call for the weekend. I'm not saying don't go. She's been gone, what a month already? Collect your information, and if you have everything by Monday, we will go then. We are off Monday and Tuesday; we can do that much."

"Fine," Andy said crisply. "Listen, if we aren't in the middle of a mess Sunday night with work, I might just leave then. I really need to get to them and see Hannah," he sighed.

"Flynn, go home," Provenza told him. "Actually, go to a meeting, and then, go home. Do your detective work tonight, get some rest, and we can talk more tomorrow."

"Provenza, don't try to talk me out of this. I want some answers, and I want to get this information to Sharon for Hannah. I have to know where they are," he sighed and again ran his hand through his hair.

"I already told you I would go, Flynn. I know there's no stopping you," Provenza said. "Use your skills and get to work."


	32. Chapter 32

Finally, finally, finally something seemed to be going right in Andy's life. It was now Sunday, and he'd spent the last three days getting prepared for his drive to Flagstaff. Yes, he'd figured it out, but he'd really hit the jackpot when he'd come across an article the university had posted welcoming some of its new professors and lecturers. Captain Sharon Raydor was listed as a new lecturer in criminal justice, and that gave him the exact information he needed. Now, he still didn't have an address, but he had a start. He had a town, the right town, and he hoped to catch her at work. He was so relieved something had gone right because not much had been going well for him lately.

Work was definitely not going well. He was getting himself, or his mouth in trouble almost anytime he spoke. He knew he was agitated, and he was trying to deal with that, but it wasn't working. Chief had even threatened to write him up for being insubordinate after he got into an argument with her about picking up a suspect during their current case. To give him a moment to cool off, Provenza had sent Andy on errands, basically, to check on things around the building. It has helped, a little. That had been yesterday, and even today, Andy found himself doing a lot of the grunt work, and while he wanted to argue about it, he just kept his mouth shut. Provenza was being a true friend, and Andy needed someone to keep him in check.

"Andy," he heard and looked up to find Mike calling to him from his desk. Andy frowned and turned his attention to him.

"Need something?" Andy asked.

"Yes, I asked you if you had that updated ballistic report. The one you brought back yesterday was still the preliminary report. Do you have the updated one?"

Andy sighed and frowned. He didn't and knew this would mean another trip to get it. He shook his head, "No, I haven't gotten it yet. Last check, it wasn't done yet. I can call and find out."

"Better just go hunt it down, Flynn," Provenza said. "We need that for our reports."

"Right," Andy sighed and stood. He glanced around the room, made eye contact with Provenza, and after been gestured to get moving, Andy started to the door.

Andy checked his watch as he walked. It was now after 4:00, and he was so ready to go. He hated working weekends, even when they had time off after that weekend. It wasn't like idiots stopped getting in trouble on the weekend. In fact, work usually increased. Thankfully, the case they'd been working the last few days was a relatively easy one, a case of a jealous ex-husband. Andy nodded, thinking about it. People were fueled by passion, and he definitely understood that now.

It took Andy almost a half hour to get the report. It had been finished yesterday not long after he'd been handed the old preliminary one, but the tech working today couldn't find it. It wasn't just something that was on a computer; an entire paper file had been put aside, but finally, it was located. Andy returned with it to the team, hoping they would finish work soon. He and Provenza were hoping to get on the road, at least a couple hours down the road. Andy knew he wouldn't sleep; he hadn't slept in days. Between the search for Sharon, the all-hours of the day and night phone calls with his sister, and just his overall anxiety, he wasn't sleeping. He felt that getting out of L.A., even just a couple hours out, would help. He'd even told Provenza he would pay for the hotel and gas just to get his cheap friend to agree. Both men were packed, bags in their cars, ready to get on the road when they finished.

He turned over the report to Mike and walked back to his desk. He didn't even have a chance to sit before his phone rang. He dug it out and sighed at the number. It was his dad's nursing home in New York.

"This is Andy Flynn," he said when he answered. He ran his hand across his brow and sat down at his desk chair. He caught the rest of the team watching him. "Yes, he's my father."

"Lieutenant," the team turned to Brenda as she walked out of her office. Eyes darted between her and Andy, and she looked around, noting everyone was staring at Andy. "Did he do something or say something again?"

"Chief," Provenza shook his head and nodded before speaking again, "sounds like something about his dad."

"Oh," Chief said and made a face like she felt badly about that. "Okay, I see we are all waiting to hear."

"My dad fell. He didn't break anything, but he broke his glasses and cut his face," Andy nodded as he repeated what he was being told on the phone. "Okay," they heard him sigh. "Yeah, my sister is there, but she's got her own problems. She's ill, and I'd prefer you not bother her. I'll keep her informed, but just call me first. Okay, yeah," he nodded at whatever they were telling him. "Thank you for calling. I'll call back in an hour or so."

He hung up his phone and turned, surprised to find everyone waiting for him to finish.

"Flynn, your dad fell?" Provenza asked. Andy just nodded and let out his breath.

"Yeah, you know I've told you he doesn't move well. He was in his wheelchair, but he started to reach for something on the counter, reached more than he should, and he fell out of the chair. Amazingly, nothing is broken, except his glasses. That was the nursing home telling me he was just getting a couple of stitches at the hospital. He was transported, and they said he's checking out okay. They apologize for not calling sooner, but they'd left a message for Angela. I hope she's sleeping and just didn't hear her phone. She's been so worn out. I need to see if I can call her," he stood and gestured with his phone.

"Andy," Brenda called to him and reached for his arm. She squeezed it, "I know you have a lot on your plate. Take care of your call and the one to your daddy too. I appreciate your hard work today, keeping yourself in check. We all have our moments."

"Thanks, Chief," he nodded and walked out of the room. Brenda looked around at everyone else. "Now, let me see if I remember what I needed," she put her finger to her lips.

"Chief, appreciate you not writing up Flynn for flying off the handle a couple times yesterday," Provenza said. "We all do. He's just in a rough patch. He has family issues hitting him from every angle."

Brenda nodded, "Yes, it sounds like it. I get that; I do."

"It's even worse than you know, Chief," Provenza chuckled. He wanted to change the subject and quickly added, "He's not drinking, though. He's working through it all."

"That's good," Brenda nodded. "Make sure you check on him during these next couple days when we are off."

"Already on it, Chief," Provenza raised his hand. "I'm taking him on a little road trip, just to get out of town."

"Ahh, a road trip," Mike grinned. "Where are you two heading? Wait," he put his finger in the air, "I'll just watch the news to see where two LAPD lieutenants have been arrested."

The team all started to laugh, even Brenda. Provenza threw a scowl at Mike and shook his head, "No plans, just Flynn, me, and the open road. There's no telling what we will find."

The last reports were filed just before 9:00 that evening. Andy and Provenza were the last to leave, and they still didn't have set plans as they got onto the elevator.

"I'll drive," Andy told him and glanced at Provenza.

Provenza gave him a look, like he was crazy and shook his head, "No way you are driving right now. You look like you ate all the sugar in a candy store. You've been fidgety and a mess all day. No, we can take your car, but I'm driving."

"You think I'm going to let you drive my new car?" Andy asked.

"It's not a question, Flynn. I am driving your new car. It will be nice to not listen to that old piece of junk of yours on the drive. You could hear that car a mile away," Provenza chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to do better, and while you might not get it, a car was a start," he sighed. When Provenza looked at him with a confused expression, Andy explained. "My car was a piece of junk; I know that. It didn't bother me just driving around myself, but I realize it's not exactly a babe magnet. I honestly haven't cared what most women have thought of the car, but when Hannah was born, I realized that if I might ever get to spend any time with her, I needed a safe, decent car for her. Plus, Sharon, she's so out of my league, and I knew she was horrified when I drove her home from the hospital months ago in my old car. She eats at those crazy fancy restaurants I hate, but my family loves, and she's just way too high class to appreciate anything I'd offer Hannah, but at least this way, she can't argue with a basic, safe new sedan."

The elevator opened, and the men started walking to their cars parked next to each other. Andy had a brand new dark sedan he'd bought just before things with Angela had fallen apart, and she'd been diagnosed with cancer. Because of that, he'd barely had a moment to really enjoy his car. It looked like he was finally going to break it in a little with this trip. Provenza walked to his car, and Andy popped open his trunk. He pushed his bag to the side, giving Provenza room for his.

"Flynn, a car isn't going to do it, you know? The captain might be into high class, but she's not going to just let you take Hannah for a spin in your new car," he said as he looked over at him.

"I get it, but I want her to see I'm trying," he sighed. "I don't want to be a crappy father. I want to do a good job. I think Sharon looks at me and sees a cheap drunk. I'm trying to change that image because that's not me anymore. It's like I want her to see I've cleaned up my act, that she and Hannah are worth it."

"Flynn, even I know you are a better guy than that," Provenza rolled his eyes. The two just stood at their cars talking, as if they didn't have a long drive ahead.

"What are you doing there?" Andy asked, almost fidgety while he waited on Provenza.

"I'm painting my nails," Provenza fired back at him as he leaned inside his car. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm collecting my cassette tapes for the trip."

"Cassette tapes?" Andy said and laughed. "Provenza, my new car doesn't have a cassette player."

"What?" Provenza popped up his head from the driver door. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Join the real world and listen to cd's or even better now, things like iPods, phones, you know," he shrugged.

"I don't understand anything you just said," Provenza scowled.

"Let me spell it out-get your bag. Get in the car. We have the radio, and I have some cds, mostly jazz, but I have some," he smirked.

Provenza could be heard muttering, but it was unclear what he was saying. He collected his things, pulled his bag from his car, and he walked to Andy's car. Andy gestured for him to put it in the trunk.

"Aren't you going to do it?" Provenza asked.

"No, why?" Andy asked.

"You're the passenger," he told him.

Andy gave him an irritated look, "Put your bag in the trunk. Just start driving, or I'll do it. Better yet, tomorrow when I talk to my dad's nursing home, I'll ask if they have a spot for you," he smirked and walked to the passenger door. Andy unlocked his car and got into it, glancing to his backseat area like he normally did. Provenza got into the driver side and started to adjust the seat. He also glanced to the backseat.

"What's that?" he asked and nodded. Andy turned and looked back behind his seat.

"Oh, things for Hannah," he flashed a grin. "You didn't think I would show up empty-handed, did you?"

"What did you buy her?" Provenza asked.

"I'm actually glad you brought that up," Andy flashed him a smirky grin. "I bought her some clothing, along with a brush set. That's sentimental, and you wouldn't understand. I also want to stop on the way and get her a toy."

"A toy?" Provenza looked at him, horrified. "What kind of toy, and why do we need to stop on the way?"

"I heard a couple of the techs talking about Christmas yesterday when I was the errand boy for the department. I think I was in ballistics, but whatever," he gestured. "Anyway, they were talking about baby toys, and one of them mentioned there is this like saucer thing. You put the baby in it, and it's like a toy that stands them up, securely, and they have toys all around them. It sounded really cool."

"You didn't ask these tech about the toy, did you?" Provenza gestured at him as he drove out of the parking garage.

"No, I'm not an idiot. It wasn't like I asked if they could be more specific so I could get one for my own baby. I just pulled it up on the computer late last night when I got home. I got on one of those baby store pages, and I typed in saucer. I found it. Those things are great! They really look fun, and I want to get that for her."

"What if the captain already bought it?" Provenza asked.

Andy shook his head, "I don't think she did. They are for babies just a little older. Hannah is just over three months old, and from what I found, those things are recommended for babies four months and older. Yeah, I know she's almost there, but I don't see Sharon planning ahead like that right now with just moving. If I'm wrong and she has one," he shrugged, "Sharon can take it back and get whatever she wants. I want to get one of those for her. It's almost Christmas."

Provenza gave him a slight frown and nodded, "So, can you get these anywhere, like at normal stores?"

"Yeah, I think," Andy nodded. "Anyway, tomorrow morning on the drive, we are stopping for one somewhere."

"You are also assuming she will let you see Hannah. I hope you are prepared this could go very badly, Flynn," Provenza warned.

"I know," he said quietly and looked out the window. "I want to hope for the best. I think Sharon is just a confused mess and hope I can talk to her."

"Where are we driving tonight?" Provenza asked as he started the drive out of the city. He could tell his comment had Andy thinking, and for now, that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"Barstow," Andy nodded. "That's a couple hours away, as long as traffic isn't bad. It shouldn't be, and that gets us out of the city tonight. We've worked all day, so no reason to really overdue it tonight."

Provenza nodded, "Fine, figure out the route and tell me where to go," he gestured to Andy. "I'll drive tonight, and if you can behave, you can drive tomorrow."

"Thanks," Andy smirked. "You take two hours, and I'm taking over five tomorrow."

"I'm that good of a friend," Provenza nodded. "If you snore tonight, Flynn, you are getting me my own room in Flagstaff."

"You'll be lucky if I sleep," Andy sighed. The two men continued on their drive, Provenza paying attention to the road while Andy worked to pull up the directions.

"I'm hungry. Before we get on the freeway, let's get some fast food," Provenza suggested.

Andy gestured with his hands, "Fine, but your greasy burger had better not make a mess in my new car."

Provenza shook his head, "I don't want a burger. I'm thinking tacos."

"Tacos? You want to eat tacos in my new car?" Andy asked and turned to him, horrified. "Are you kidding me?"

"Look, in your dreams, you get to be a daddy to Hannah, and I promise you she would get much worse all over this car. Think of smashed raisins, animal crackers, spilled milk, diaper issues," he grimaced. "You are complaining because a friend, who offered to drive and ride along with you, wants a taco?"

"Yeah! I am complaining! You're an adult. Hannah is a baby, and hello, we just discussed that I'll be lucky if Sharon even lets me see her. I would love nothing more to haul her around in her sometime, but let's be realistic. That's probably not going to happen. I wish I could, and I'd gladly take her throwing food around in my new car. You, I can't take your taco mess."

Provenza scowled, "I'm almost surprised you don't have a car seat."

"Oh, I looked at them," Andy sighed. "I'm not stupid, Provenza. I want to see her. I want to see Sharon. I'm trying to decide if wanting to see Sharon is to just get to Hannah or if I truly have feelings for her."

"Do I want to know what you've figured out with that?" Provenza asked.

"Probably not," Andy grumbled. "Get something to eat, fine," he waved. "Just don't get tacos."

"Fine, I'll just get a burrito instead," Provenza nodded. Andy groaned and leaned his seat back to relax. He was now wishing he'd ducked out earlier without Provenza.

The two continued their drive across the California landscape. They made decent time, even with their food and gas stop, arriving at their basic, but clean motel after midnight. They didn't need much for the night, just a clean place to get some rest. Andy wasn't even sure he would rest; he was still a mess from everything that had been going on in his personal life. He'd thought about Sharon a lot over the last few months. He had a feeling she was protective of everything in her life, partly from being so badly burned by her ex, but also due to her particular job. She wasn't just 'one of them' so to speak. Sure, she'd been a cop, a captain, but she was FID. She investigated other cops. That had to put her on edge and make her wary of a lot of people. It was almost like she couldn't risk trusting anyone because it almost wasn't in the nature of the job. Adding the two together, the dirt bag of an ex and the job, well, it would put up some serious walls with a person. She intrigued him, and he had a feeling she was a little intrigued by him. In all the time he'd had to think about her, he'd decided that she wouldn't have continued their little agreement if she hadn't enjoyed it and hadn't at least trusted him a little. Hannah was the shock, and with Hannah, he figured she'd drawn back into herself, put up her walls again, and one thing he wanted was to determine if he was right. Hannah deserved two parents. He now realized that, and he also had realized that while he'd been crappy at it before, he could at least try to do better. He'd told Sharon that; he would have tried. He wasn't sure what a good dad was, but he wanted to try and be one, that is, if he could appeal to Sharon. He wanted both Hannah and Sharon in his life, not sure exactly how, but he did. He just hoped Sharon would at least hear him out, that he could give her Angela's medical information and talk to her. In his eyes, it was never too late to try and do the right thing, and in his world, and he realized walking away from Hannah was NOT the right thing to do.

"Flynn," he heard and looked up as they were pulling into the motel. He'd bee daydreaming again and shook his head to shake himself out of it.

"Thanks for driving," he grunted and nodded to Provenza.

"Well, someone had to come along with you to make sure you didn't do something completely insane, not that chasing down the captain is exactly a good idea," he grumbled.

Andy waved his hand, "I know, okay? Let's just get some sleep. I want to get going tomorrow by 7:00."

"7:00?" Provenza looked to him, clearly irritated.

"Yeah, I mean, I need to see if I can find her at work. I don't know how long that will take, so I don't want to show up at like 5:00," he said.

"Flynn, this could really backfire on you. Raydor could send us packing, that is, if she'll even see you. Have you considered that?" Provenza turned off the car and looked over at Andy.

"Yeah, I have," Andy nodded. "I regret a lot, Provenza. My biggest regret is that I easily signed those papers, that I let Hannah and Sharon go. I know it could be too late, but I have to try. I've thought about this a lot over the last few days. Sharon wanted me to sign that paperwork because she was afraid to lose control. She didn't know what I would do regarding Hannah, and she wanted all the control. I signed because I was afraid to try, afraid of being another failure. I've already failed Hannah by walking away, and I hate myself for it. I just want to show Sharon I can be a decent guy, that I'm not like every other dirt bag she's known. I haven't slept in months. The last few days, I've worried myself sick. I know it may not work, but I also know the best things in life are worth the fight."

Provenza just nodded. The two sat in the dark parking lot for a few moments, just analyzing what had been said. Finally, Provenza opened the door to shine more light into the car, "Well? You said you were paying. Let's find out if they have a room. By the looks of it, they do," he said as he glanced around the half-full parking lot.

"Just remember you aren't alone tonight," Andy smirked as he got out of the car. "No going commando or anything in the room," he chuckled. "And no, we aren't getting more food tonight."

"The dress code-that's your problem, not mine, Flynn. How about you just work on staying in our room tonight? Last road trip, you were busy sneaking around with the captain, and we know how that turned out," he stated as they walked to the building.

"Some pretty great things came out of that trip," he flashed a grin at Provenza. "I can only hope for the best right now."


	33. Chapter 33

It hadn't dawned on them that Sharon may not have started her job. She wasn't at work; the university told them she wasn't starting until after the holidays. In all of Andy's rush to find Sharon, he hadn't considered that. It made sense, though. She'd moved to get herself situated before starting work. After the two left the campus building, they sat in Andy's car, almost dumbfounded.

"So, she's here somewhere, but she's not at work," he sighed. Of course, the university wouldn't give out any of her information, and they weren't pressing that either.

"Any other ideas?" Provenza frowned as he looked at him. "This town isn't that big, but it's big enough. Not a bad place, honestly, if I must admit. Flynn, your daughter could do worse than to grow up here."

"She could grow up without me, thinking I'm a total dirt bag, which is what I am! How did I not see this before? What was I thinking?" Andy started to yell, now getting more and more frustrated.

Provenza glanced at him, "I'm not sure where to start. As far as the what were you thinking-let's start with sleeping with the captain. That was a really dumb idea. Signing away the kid, I know I joked about it, but then, I did caution you about that. I know you regret it, but as I have also said, Flynn, she might not let you anywhere near the kid."

"Yeah, well, I can't even find her to see her," he gestured to Provenza. "I'm not thinking very well! I mean, let's look at this for once," he threw up his hands. "I probably would have come rushing here the moment I figured it out, but at least you made me collect myself and my thoughts. Even that, I didn't do well enough. I still didn't think it through and now, she's not even at work!"

"At least you found where she's working," he nodded to him. "You could always come back here after the semester starts. I know that's not the best, but it's at least something. You know she's here, and the kid is safe. You have her work email and can start there."

"Yeah," Andy sighed as he let out a long breath. "I know. I just messed up so badly. It makes me sick. I told you I'm not sleeping. I didn't sleep last night."

"Very aware," Provenza told him. "I was sleeping in the bed next to you. You tossed and turned all night long. I don't ever think I've checked out of a motel before 7:00AM, and considering some of the ahh, guests I've stayed with in said rooms, that's saying a lot."

"I'm terrified, nervous, anxious, scared, excited, and probably ever other emotion you can imagine," Andy said and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do."

"I do," Provenza looked at his watch. "It's now just after noon. We've been all over the campus, visited her department, and we've hit a dead end for now. Let's get some food. I'm starving. You even had me eating my breakfast in a to go fashion in the car. I am ready to sit down and get some lunch. You can eat too, and we can reassess our plan."

"Fine," Andy raised his hand and gave in, not that he had much of a choice. Provenza was still driving Andy's car, after telling Andy that he was in no shape to drive. Andy had been silent much of the drive, and when he wasn't, he seemed to be almost yelling in frustration. He was a mess.

Provenza started to drive off campus and drove toward the main downtown area. Flagstaff was big enough to have choices for lunch, but it wasn't a large city. Andy just looked around at the scenery, noting the snow-covered mountains all around and the pine trees. It felt very different from Los Angeles, almost like a world away from Los Angeles. He could already feel the slower pace of life, mixed with the college atmosphere, and he liked it. He could see why Sharon had chosen this town; it didn't have the same desert feel a lot of Arizona had. Still, Andy shook his head, shocked that she had picked up and left behind her life in Los Angeles to start over here. He just never saw it coming.

The two found a spot for lunch, a small diner, and both were quiet while they ate. Provenza continually eyed Andy, waiting for him to speak. Provenza was still in the middle of his bacon cheeseburger when Andy put down his fork and looked to him.

"I'm not sure what to do next," he frowned.

Provenza nodded, "I figured as much. Look, it's mid-afternoon now. Sure, we could drive all the way home today, but we could also just collect ourselves, get a room here for the night, and think. We know she's here, and you can always come back in another month. You could leave a message for her at the school too. You've been hasty in most of your decisions, so I'm going to be the voice of reason," he chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I say since we are already here, we stay the night, and then, tomorrow, we can drive back home. It did get you out of town, and you know Hannah and the captain are okay here."

Andy nodded and looked down at his salad. He stared at it a few moments before looking back up at Provenza. "Fine," he nodded again. " I'm still only getting one room. We can share."

Provenza raised his hands in defense, and the men continued with their lunch. After lunch, Andy took his keys, and the two men drove around, inquiring about a room for later in the day. One of the local hotels had plenty of rooms and even let them check in early. Once they were situated in their room, Provenza took the remote and stretched out on the bed.

"Are you taking a nap?" Andy asked.

Provenza shrugged, "Someone didn't let me get enough beauty sleep. I'm tired. I know you aren't going to sleep, but I'd like to do so."

"Fine," Andy waved at him. "I'm going to go out, maybe get a cup of coffee and just sit. I have a lot to think about right now."

"Find us a place to get dinner, Flynn," Provenza waved at him. "Don't get yourself into trouble, and don't do anything stupid, not that there is much difference in either of those things," he chuckled. "Chat it up with a local and find me a steak for dinner."

Andy raised his eyes at Provenza, "You had a burger for lunch."

"Your point?" Provenza eyed him.

"Whatever," Andy waved him off as he glanced around the room again. "I'll be back later. Enjoy your afternoon nap," he smirked.

Andy left Provenza, both men knowing Andy needed some time to just catch his breath and think. He drove around the town more, hoping for some clarity. It was a cute town, completely different from the concrete jungle of L.A., and he could almost feel himself relaxing the longer he was there. He drove around the campus again, trying to imagine Sharon working as a professor, or lecturer-whatever the school was calling her. He still couldn't quite see it, but obviously, she could. He imagined Hannah going to daycare somewhere nearby, and the more he did that, the more he got sick to his stomach. He could see his daughter growing up without him, and now, that just made him sick. The reality of what he'd done, what he'd signed away, was hitting him harder and harder, minute by minute. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, and he turned the car toward the downtown area, intent on getting a cup of coffee and sitting.

It didn't take him long to find a small coffee shop, and after he found a parking spot, he walked to the shop and stepped inside. He nodded to himself at the atmosphere. There were college kids everywhere, some studying in groups, some talking to each other, and some studying alone. This was the place to be, off campus, at least. Most had out laptops, and he chuckled to himself at how times had changed as he walked out the counter.

"I'd just like a cup of black coffee," he told the barista, and after paying for it, he found a lone table in the front corner. He definitely stuck out here in the middle of the afternoon, the old guy in the middle of college students, but he didn't mind. The coffee was bitter going down, but right now, that almost fit his mood. He continued to sit and stare out the windows for over an hour, long after his coffee had gone cold. He thought a lot about his life, about all the mistakes he had made. It was almost ironic that in trying to get himself together, finally, he'd made the biggest mistake of all by allowing Hannah to slip away from him. Yes, he knew the circumstances in which she'd entered the world didn't boast for a happy little family, but still, she was his, and he'd easily let her go. Andy realized he'd been so focused on his mistakes of the past-of being a deadbeat drunk, that he'd completely ignored the idea that while no longer drinking, signing away Hannah was a different kind of deadbeat.

"Need a refill?" Andy looked up and saw a gentleman, older than himself, standing there with a pot of coffee. As Andy glanced around, he noted a lot of the students had left. His watch told him he'd been here over an hour and a half.

"Umm, yeah, thanks," he said as he glanced into his cup. "I guess I drank it all."

The older man nodded and filled his cup, "Normally, I don't do refills. All these younger ones do these mixed drinks, full of cream, sugar, caramel, whatever," he waved his hand. "It's not often anymore someone wants just a cup of black coffee. That's how I was raised, and I still only drink it. Anyway, it looked like you could use it. You've been sitting here staring off for awhile."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Andy said as he started to collect his things to leave.

"No," the man shook his head and gestured for Andy to stay. "I didn't mean you had to leave. I just noticed you could use a refill. Long day, I guess. Hope whatever is on your mind clears up."

"Thanks," Andy said as he nodded. "Appreciate it. I'm passing through town. I just have a lot on my plate, kind of a mess. Nice place here," he nodded around to it. "I'm going to finish this and get going. My buddy and I are going to dinner soon."

"Stay as long as you like," he told Andy. "Have a good one," he said.

"You too," Andy nodded to him. The man walked away, and Andy turned back to look out the window. It was getting later into the afternoon, and he needed to find Provenza. The cooler air was refreshing, and he was enjoying the snow on other ground. When he'd driven around earlier, he'd noted a lot more snow on the mountains, and he'd heard some of the students commenting on the temperature dropping later in the week. Snow, he remembered, was something Sharon said she enjoyed. He tried to envision his little Hannah in snow, but that was harder to envision because he really didn't know what Hannah looked like. He tried to picture her as a small Nicole, but in the picture Sharon had sent him, he could see more Sharon in her. He hoped she looked more like Sharon and less like himself. Nicole looked like Sandra, which was also a good thing. Now, he could do with Hannah having more of his personality, at least in some areas. Sharon was a control freak; she was crazy smart, but she was too controlling. In his perfect world, Hannah would look just like Sharon and have a combined personality, taking in his laid back personality with Sharon's intelligence. Hannah wouldn't have his addictive tendencies, nor would she have Sharon's sense of control. He groaned at the thought, because there was no way to avoid that mess, not all of it. He and Sharon might have created the perfect storm in Hannah, a totally controlling addict. He really wanted to be part of Hannah's life, and the more he thought about his sweet baby girl, the more he just wanted to find Sharon. He sighed again and looked outside. Snowflakes were starting to fall again. Winter was settling in here, this sleepy college town up in the mountains of Arizona. It was almost hard to believe, snow in Arizona, but it was true. Hannah would be celebrating her first Christmas soon, not that she'd know it. All he wanted now for Christmas was to see his daughter and have a conversation with Sharon. It wasn't looking like he'd get his wish.

With a resigning sigh, he stood and nodded to the older gentleman again, "Thanks for the coffee." He returned the cup, as it was a coffee shop that used real mugs. The man waved at Andy.

"Have a good day. Stop back anytime," he told him as Andy stepped outside. Andy waved again and started walking.

Andy pulled his coat tighter and started to his car. Provenza would be ready for dinner; Andy was just ready for bed. He wasn't sure if he'd come up with a plan, but he did know he was exhausted. Andy didn't know if he'd sleep tonight, but somehow, it felt comforting to know he was at least in the same town as his daughter and Sharon. Oddly, he wanted to see both of them, not just Hannah, but Sharon too. Provenza had suggested Andy had clouded feelings about Sharon, and Andy knew Provenza was right.

By mid-morning the next day, the men were ready to head for Los Angeles. They had a long drive and work the next day. The night before, Provenza had found a steakhouse for dinner, courtesy of a recommendation from the hotel clerk, and the two had stayed in the restaurant for almost two hours eating and talking. Andy's soup and salad had tasted like cardboard, but he had a feeling some of that was due to his mind being focused on other things. Back at the hotel, the men had slept well, even Andy. For the first time in a long time, he'd actually slept. In fact, Provenza had gotten up, showered, and was ready for the day before Andy stirred. It had been a restful sleep too, and he was feeling much better.

"Let's grab a cup of coffee for the road," Andy looked over at Provenza. Andy was driving today, and Provenza was already eating a bag of peanuts as they pulled out of the hotel parking lot.

Provenza glanced at him, "The hotel coffee was terrible. We aren't going back inside for that."

"No!" Andy exclaimed. "I want to go to the coffee shop I found yesterday. Owner," Andy smiled, "he was nice. It was a decent cup of coffee. We have a long drive, and the last thing I want is stale, truck-stop coffee all day."

"You don't have to convince me," Provenza said as he dropped a handful of peanuts down beside the seat onto the floor of the car.

"I thought you weren't eating in my car," Andy stated and looked at Provenza, who just frowned back at Andy.

Provenza shoved another handful into his mouth, as three fell to the floor. He shook his head, "No, the deal was I wouldn't eat tacos in your new car. I'm eating peanuts."

"Let's not eat in the car, okay?" Andy asked. "It's new. You are making a mess like a kid."

"I'm not agreeing to that. I am agreeing to coffee. I need something to wash down these salty peanuts," he smirked.

Andy made his way to the coffee shop. It was on the way out of town, so it wasn't out of the way for them to stop. He found a parking spot easily, and the two started toward the shop.

"I'm going to be glad to get back to California," Provenza stated as he stepped through the slush on the street. "I'm not a snow guy. Give me beaches, girls in bikinis, and I'm fine. I don't do well with the snow look."

"I don't mind it," Andy shrugged. "Now, I'm not sure I would want to live in it, but it's refreshing. I just wish I was here under different circumstances."

"This had better be a good cup of coffee to get me out in this snow slush," Provenza grumbled.

"Relax," Andy said as they reached the door. He opened it, and Provenza stepped inside. The two looked around and found several college students again.

"It was like this yesterday, full of college kids," Andy told him. "It's a nice little shop."

"Ahh, you've returned," the two were startled as they looked to the counter. The man Andy had spoken to the day before was standing there smiling at them.

"Hi," Andy nodded. "My buddy and I are on our way out of town. We could use a couple of cups for the road."

"Yes," the man nodded and continued, "black coffee?"

"I'll take a cream and sugar for mine," Provenza told him. "Thanks."

Andy pulled out some money and pushed it across the counter. "Just keep the change too," he smiled. The man nodded and started to work on their cups o coffee. While they waited, they stepped to the side. Provenza walked over to the board on the wall, advertising businesses, rooms for rent, and other similar things, and Andy just looked around at the place. The two were quiet while they waited. Suddenly, Andy's eyes grew wide.

"Provenza!" Andy smacked his arm, as he called to him in almost a panic. He pointed across the street and gestured, "Is that Sharon?"


	34. Chapter 34

Andy didn't waste any time walking across the street. He almost ran, but he didn't. Provenza, who hated to run or even walk briskly, kept right by Andy's side, and the two continued toward Sharon who was walking down the street toward them, but she wasn't looking at them, not until the men reached the sidewalk and started walking toward her. They'd found her; it was definitely Sharon.

"Now, calm down and be rationale," Provenza grumbled as they walked toward her. "Who am I kidding? You've not been rationale with this woman from the start."

Provenza looked at Sharon, as did Andy, and Provenza could mark the moment she spotted the two men. Her expression didn't change; she didn't look shocked or surprised, but she almost paused in her walk, almost. He had to hand it to her; all her years in FID were paying off now. She kept a blank stare at the men as they reached her. Provenza noticed she had on a winter coat, open, only because she was wearing Hannah in one of those baby contraptions. He could just see the top of Hannah's head, which was covered with a hat. Her arms and legs were covered by the coat.

"Captain," Provenza spoke quickly and first, nodding at her, as the group met on the street. She looked well, at least as much as he could tell.

Andy just stood there, staring at her and then at Hannah, again, what little he could see of her. Sharon nodded to Provenza, but before she could speak, Andy cleared his throat, as if he hadn't spoken for years.

"We found you," Andy said in a rather quiet tone. He looked to Sharon, and for the first time, their eyes met. He gestured at Sharon and Hannah, "I'm really glad to see you."

"I wasn't hiding," Sharon blurted out. "I didn't know I needed to be found," she said, and as she looked at Andy, he rolled his eyes at the comment. She clarified, "I am not hiding. I've moved. My personal life is just that, personal."

Andy nodded, "Sure, and I know you are going to say that I'm not part of that now-your personal life- because I signed your papers. I get it, but I do want to talk to you. Look, I'm not here to stalk you."

Sharon nodded and pursed her lips, "I know. If I was worried about that, I would have taken care of it long ago. I would have gotten a restraining order back in L.A. or even after moving here. I've known you long enough; I know it's not your style. You don't give up, not on anything. I've seen that at work. I've heard you discuss it with your personal life, with your kids. I'm not sure why I thought we would be different."

Andy just stared back at her, not sure what to say. He hadn't expected her to say that. Truthfully, he'd expected her to yell or be clearly upset he and Provenza had found her, but she was almost sounding rationale.

"Captain, I think what Flynn here is trying to say is that he's concerned. Honestly," Provenza chuckled and looked back to Sharon, "I can't believe I'm saying it, but even I'm concerned. No one expected you to retire, and we certainly didn't expect you to retire so abruptly and move. I think that's what Flynn wants to say," he looked up at Andy who was still looking at Sharon and Hannah. "Flynn?"

"Exactly what he said," Andy gave a small shrug. "Look, I'm not here to take Hannah or anything. I've been trying to figure it out, and I guess I just wanted some answers, even some closure. Signing my name might seem like closure to you-to most people, but it's not the closure I'm talking about here. In my mind, I would have seen you and Hannah at work, even from a distance. It was like a kick to the gut to hear I'd not see either of you again, EVER. I wanted to check on you both, to just talk. I also wanted to speak to you about some health issues, not with me, but with my sister, things you should know. Look, I never thought you'd just be gone, and it's left me a mess. I just want to talk. Gavin wouldn't tell me where you were."

She nodded, "I know. He told me about the conversation."

"Ahh," Provenza raised his eyebrows, "which is why you don't seem surprised to see us here."

"True," Sharon pursed her lips. She glanced at Andy, but then she turned back to Provenza, almost to answer him. "I am not trying to hide, but just move on with my life. I'm not surprised you found me, maybe a bit surprised to see you here on the street this morning, but I knew it was a matter of time."

"Look, Sharon," Andy tried to get her attention. "Can we talk? I was prepared to get a cup of coffee this morning, which," he turned briefly toward Provenza, "we didn't get, and I was going to leave here without finding you and go home. It's fate, I believe, we did find you. I was planning to come back in January, after you started work. I just want to talk, please." Sharon looked down at Hannah and ran her hand over her, Sharon's coat still covering her. Andy watched and gestured, "How's Hannah? Is she okay? Are you both okay?"

Sharon continued to look down at Hannah, and then she glanced up at Andy, "She's just perfect," she gave him a small smile and a slight shrug. "She really is. And, as far as my moving, I really just want to get a fresh start. I hope you can understand that. Several people in my life have mentioned my decisions seem hurried, and I do see that, but sometimes, you just need to go with what feels right."

"You two have certainly done that," Provenza mumbled under his breath and shook his head and he tried to turn away. He knew he was in the middle of the conversation, and he just needed a chance to excuse himself, that is, if she was going to give Andy a chance to talk.

"Gavin," Sharon nodded and continued, trying to just ignore Provenza's comment, "did tell me when you came to him. Frankly, I'm surprised it took that long to circulate in the building, but I wanted to leave like that. Let's be honest-no one in that building was sorry to see me go. It was simple to walk away now, and while you might not understand it, I do. Gavin called me after you spoke to him. He told me he gave you my note."

"He did," Andy nodded. "I made a copy of that picture and keep one in my wallet and have one on my nightstand. That picture is everything to me, but like I said, I know what I signed, and I'm having trouble with that now. I just felt like things were so abrupt. Ever have someone just drop out of your life?" Andy asked. He continued, "You know what it's like when maybe a loved one or friend dies suddenly, like there were things unsaid, or you just wish you could have one more conversation? You feel like it was so unexpected that you would have said so much more had you known. That's how I feel. So, if it's at all possible, I'd really like to sit and talk."

Sharon looked down at Hannah and then back at the two men. She cleared her throat, "I'm late for work."

Andy and Provenza glanced at each other, and Andy gestured with his hand as he spoke, "Wait, I thought you didn't start work until January?"

She gave a slight shrug, "I'm working downtown here," she gestured toward the shop down the street from where they were standing. "I'm working at the flower shop. I know," she let out a nervous laugh, "sounds crazy, but it's been very enjoyable. The job just happened. The woman who owns the shop needed some help and loves Hannah. She even put up a portable crib for Hannah. It has been good for me. Otherwise, I think I'd just be at home, day after day, thinking about too much. It's good for me to work, to meet people and socialize. Hannah has done well too. She's sleeping better now that she's getting a little older, and we are getting into a routine."

"I'll wait," Andy said quickly. "If you have a break, I'll wait."

"Captain, I can certainly watch little Hannah if that's a concern, and you do want to talk," Provenza offered.

Sharon turned to him and gave him a slight smile, "Thank you for the offer, Lieutenant, but she stays with me. I'm not ready to just let go yet."

"Understood," Provenza raised his hands in defense. Andy looked between them and then back at Sharon.

Sharon looked at the ground, "Gavin also said that Hannah was lucky," she let out her breath. "He said Hannah was lucky because she would be a very smart little girl, that you had certainly put together the clues quickly. I suppose you were listening to me, all those talks we had."

"Of course, I was," Andy said. "Gavin wouldn't give away your location; he's a good friend, but I was always listening, Sharon."

She hummed slightly and looked up again, this time up at him, "I've tried to put myself in your position, and I'm sure it's hard. Your comment about wanting one last word with someone," she nodded and continued, "I understand that. I know I was rude to you before, that I put a lot of this blame on you when it was a shared blame, so yes, I've finally come to grips with the idea we can talk."

"Look, I'm going to give you two whatever time you need," Provenza said and started to step away from them. "Honestly, I've just been here to make sure Flynn doesn't do something stupid again or in a situation he finds himself under arrest."

Sharon glanced back at Andy. He sighed and shook his head, "I don't want you thinking I'm here hunting you down, not in some creepy way. I had to see you were okay and just try to talk to you. There's a lot I want to say. I'm not going to be following you, hiding in bushes, trying to catch glimpses of Hannah all the time-that's not what I want. Do you think you can find time to talk with work?"

"All I have to do is speak to Helen, my boss," she clarified, "and we can talk, briefly."

"Then, I'll leave you two," Provenza said and took another step back. "Flynn, I'll just be in the coffee shop," he nodded to where they had been standing earlier.

"Sure," Andy nodded at him and looked back to Sharon. "Where would you like to talk?"

She gestured with her head, "I work at the flower shop just up the street. There's another coffee shop next door. We can talk there."

"Whatever you want," he said to her. "May I walk there with you now?"

She glanced at him, taking him in up and down, "As opposed to standing there and waiting? Yes, you may."

Andy raised his hands in defense, "I just don't want to seem like I'm pressuring you. I'm really not. I can't tell you what a relief it is to be talking to you. You changed your phone, too, which would have been a start, at least with me."

She pursed her lips as they walked, "I know you think I hate you and just want you gone. It's not that. I've been dealing with a lot myself, somewhat of an identity crisis. I've been trying to figure out who I am now and what my life is. Hannah was a complete surprise, as you know. I told you in my letter that we just want to be happy. I want that for you too. The paperwork, that was all to make this easy, to break ties, to let each of us go our own ways. I lived through 18 years of each of my children seeing what a disappointment their father could be, and I took that to heart with Hannah. I'm possessive, yes, but anything I'm doing, it's something I've learned from experience."

Andy just listened, but he was also looking at her as she spoke. He had tried to get a look at Hannah, but he could only see the top of her head in the carrier with Sharon's coat over it. They walked slowly, almost unsure if they were going to sit and talk once they reached the coffee shop, but he continued to look at her.

"And, I've told you what a crappy father I've been," Andy said quietly as he put his hands in his pocket. The two walked slowly. "All I have ever known is being a crappy father, hearing how bad I am from my ex-wife. My kids have little to no interest in me, but I keep trying. I suppose signing the papers sounded easy because I didn't think I could ever be better, do better, but all I want to do now is try."

"You did sign the papers, though," Sharon pointed out to him. "Legally, I owe you nothing."

Andy paused, which Sharon then stopped and turned back toward him, her hands around Hannah in her protective stance. He nodded and looked to the ground, "I'm aware you owe me nothing. I'm sure that is what is keeping me up at night. You expect nothing; I get it. You got nothing for over 18 years with your ex. I just want to talk, to be something, at least today, right here. I am something. I'm not dead yet, and I don't want to give up hope."


	35. Chapter 35

He tried not to stare, not to look back at her sitting there, but it was hard to do. On one hand, he was worried if he didn't keep an eye on her, she would bolt, leave, and that would be the end of it. On the other hand, he was shocked he'd found her, and the two were actually going to sit and talk. As he stood at the counter waiting for his coffee and her tea, he tried to casually glance at her as he waited. She looked sweet, kind, and protective, all traits he never would have paired with Sharon Raydor a year ago. Now, he could see it; he could see the way she loved Hannah, the way she was protective of her. A year ago, he might have said the best way to describe Sharon was fierce, cutthroat, and bossy. She was all of that, everything in one, and he hoped their time today would be productive, allowing the best of both their personalities to shine.

"Here you go," he heard and turned to see his drinks on the counter. He nodded at the young college student, a young man who barely looked 20. Andy picked up the drinks, and as he carried them to the table, he found his hands shaking. He tried to calm himself with a deep breath, intent on not spilling the drinks. He walked toward Sharon, noting she was sitting there, looking out the windows, her hands running up and down Hannah's sides. Hannah, who was blissfully unaware of any issues between her parents, was sleeping soundly on Sharon, still in the carrier Sharon was wearing. Andy wasn't sure how she could sit and wear Hannah, how it was comfortable, but he had to admit both Sharon and Hannah looked comfortable. He had a slightly better view of Hannah now that Sharon was seated with her coat hanging on the back of her chair. He could see one of Hannah's hands, a small fist she'd made, hanging out the one side of the carrier, almost clutched onto Sharon's shirt. He could see her dark hair, and he could see one small foot, just the tip of it as Hannah was balled up in her carrier. It appeared she had pulled her legs up to sleep, and he just hoped his little princess might wake up during their talk, so he could see more of her.

"Here's your tea," he said quietly, mindful of Hannah sleeping. He watched his hands shake slightly as he put the tea down on the table and took a deep breath as he pulled out his chair to sit. He glanced over at Sharon who was watching him and gave her a small smile.

"I ordered your tea with honey, as you said you wanted," he told her, his nervousness evident. "Do you need sugar? I can get that," he said as he started to stand again.

Sharon put her hand out, not touching him, but toward him, "I'm fine, really. Thank you for the tea. I'll get some cash out when Hannah wakes up; I don't want to wake her digging in my purse."

"Please," Andy raised his hand, "a cup of tea is the least I can do. I won't take your money. Is she okay like that?" he nodded to Hannah. "Does she sleep okay? That's really what I mean."

Sharon glanced down at Hannah, her little face turned sideways on Sharon's chest, and Sharon smiled at Hannah's mouth slightly open. Andy couldn't see any of that because the carrier covered most of her head, but she looked over at Andy and nodded before she spoke, "She likes this carrier and sleeps very well. It's been a lifesaver for me. I wear her like this a lot at work. I can tell she's getting bigger because I'm starting to feel her pull more on my back, or I should say, the straps pull more. I'll be sad when the day comes she outgrows this."

He listened and offered a slight nod as he glanced down at his cup, "It's great to hear she's a good baby, really just to learn anything about her. I'm relieved and happy for you, that you are settling in here nicely. Still strange to think of you working in a flower shop and soon, at a college, but I know you are doing all of this for Hannah, for a chance at a better life, one outside the LAPD."

Sharon gave a small shrug and took a sip of her tea. The two were quiet for a few moments, almost as if they were just adjusting to being in each other's physical presence. Sharon swallowed her tea and cleared her voice before she spoke, "Well."

"Right," Andy nodded and repeated the same thing, "well. So, I do want to thank you for agreeing to even sit here with me. I'll get to the reason I needed to find you, at least the medical one."

Sharon eyed him, "Okay. You mentioned medical now a few times, health issues, I believe, correct?"

"Yes," Andy nodded, his eyes focused on her. "My sister is sick. She has cancer. I've been back and forth to New York now a couple times over the last month to be with her. I wanted you, wanted Hannah," he clarified, "to know." Andy looked up from his cup, as if telling her all that while focused on his coffee cup was easier. He met her gaze and found she'd been looking at him as he'd spoken about his sister. His eyes met hers, and he saw her give him a sad smile.

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Sharon said, and he could tell she was being genuine. "I know you've mentioned her a few times. What is her prognosis?"

"Ahh, it's decent," he nodded. "The doc thinks she can make a recovery, but my sister isn't sure. She's the doom and gloom type, certain that even if she clears this hurdle, the cancer will come back. I'm trying to be optimistic for her, and that's definitely not my strong point either."

Sharon nodded, and she sipped her drink again. She looked to him, "I am very sorry. I hope she makes a full recovery. What type of cancer, if you don't mind my asking?"

"No, I want you to know," he told her. "Thyroid," he explained. "I think she will kick it, but like I said, she's worried the cancer will spread. Look, in researching all this, we found that several in my family died of what appears to be cancer. You know how technology has improved and all, and while I will never have a firm count or diagnosis on my ancestors, I wanted you and Hannah to know because it could be an issue for her in the future. I pray that day never comes," he said and let out a long sigh as he looked to Hannah, still sleeping in her carrier. "I can't imagine that beautiful little girl ever having to deal with something as awful as cancer, but I am her dad, her flesh and blood, no matter what any paperwork says, and I felt like she needed the medical information."

Sharon listened and rested her hands around her cup of tea. She looked to Hannah at the mention of anything ever being wrong with her and back to Andy, "Thank you," she said in a quick, low breath. "I can't stand the idea of anything ever happening to her. I can't imagine my life without her," she said and gave a small shrug.

"Me either," Andy raised his hands in defense. "I wanted you to know. I feel like any information is better than nothing. My kids, my other kids," he clarified, "have been told as well."

Sharon looked to him with a small nod, and Andy could tell she'd almost started crying. Instead, she cleared her throat, "How are things with your kids? I never told you it was nice to meet them, as surprising as it was to see you in the restaurant before she was born. I never expected to see you there."

"Yeah, I get it," Andy nodded. "That place was not my typical dining out experience. I get it, that I'm not the type for that kind of place."

"No, no!" Sharon said louder and then dropped her head to check on Hannah. She looked to Andy with panic in her eyes, "I didn't mean it like that. I was not inferring you weren't classy enough for the restaurant. I was simply stating seeing you with your family, it caught me off guard. I was miserable then, in more ways than one," she gave him a sympathetic shrug, "and I didn't expect to see anyone while out with Gavin, especially you with your whole family. Thank you for not making it awkward and telling them who I was."

He raised his eyes, "Well, the kids are my family. My ex has made it clear we are not family, and I'm not arguing that. She's created a new family, one she's tried to cut me out of on many occasions. I just want my kids to love and respect me. Right now, I'm not sure they can do either one, but I'm trying." Andy caught her eye and clarified, "I'm trying with all of them, even Hannah. I've messed up with her, and she doesn't even know it. As far as for not telling them, I haven't told any of them about Hannah. I told my sister," he smiled at the memory, "and she couldn't believe it, but my kids don't know."

"There's no reason for them to know now," Sharon started speaking quickly. "What's done is done. They don't need to be told, and you can get on with your life, with trying to better things with them."

"I'm not ashamed of Hannah, of you," he added, trying to get her to look at him. "I knew it was a mess that night, and back then, I might have been embarrassed at everything, but I'm not ashamed of you or her. I would tell them, still will tell them, if I can ever figure out what this all is."

"Andy," Sharon said as she let out a sigh and looked to her drink.

Andy frowned, "Sharon," he said with a similar sigh and waited for her to glance at him. He shrugged, "I did want to tell you about my sister. I also wanted to tell you that I've been a mess with all of this, with you and Hannah. I don't feel like I made a wise decision or the right choice. I hate myself for it, and that's why I don't even know what to tell my kids. They will be disappointed in me for so many more things-for creating a new life, for signing her away, for so much, and while I can deal with it, I don't even know what to tell them. There are days I look in the mirror and wonder how I messed up every single thing in my life. There are days I wonder if I will ever be a good guy or do the right thing. I know nothing can happen overnight. The AA saying about one day at a time is so applicable here, but I wanted you to know I think about you and Hannah constantly. I'm so disgusted with myself for thinking that signing a piece of paper could end any sort of-not just obligation, but any sort of emotion. I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been doing anything except for worrying about you two and regretting everything that has happened since the day you told me you were pregnant."

Sharon looked down at Hannah instead of at Andy. She heard him sigh when he finished talking, and she did the same before she looked back up at him. She cleared her throat, "I know this is hard."

"You have Hannah, though," he nodded to her. "I don't. I've barely seen her, and she's three and a half months old. It is hard. I know it's hard for you, but I'm here, telling you I want to help. I want to be a better man, and I know I can be."

"I just want you to be happy, to move on, and to not feel tied to us," Sharon explained. Andy leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table to speak softly to her.

"I know you do. I want that for you, to be happy. I want that for Hannah. I just am second guessing my choices, and I'm not happy with what I've decided. I want to be in Hannah's life. I'd convinced myself I was such a terrible father she would be better off without me. I know that was an idiot move. I want to be a good dad. I want to know my daughter. I want to be part of your lives, but I also know what I signed. I'll respect what you want, but I needed to put that on the table. This is the first time we've been able to talk in a civilized setting, and I would like to think we could work together for the good of Hannah."

Sharon didn't get the opportunity to respond because Hannah started to move and then let out a single long cry. Sharon could feel her stretch as she started to squirm after her nap.

"Oh, my sweet girl, you are hot after that nap," Sharon spoke sweetly to Hannah as she put her hand behind her head inside the carrier. She looked over at Andy, "She's going to be hungry, and I'm going to need to get to work."

Andy just nodded as he continued to stare at Hannah who now was starting to make more noise. He could see her head trying to turn, and he gestured at Sharon, "Can I help you with anything?"

Sharon glanced around the coffee shop and down at Hannah. She gave Andy a slight nod, "I'm going to get her out of this carrier. She gets hot when she sleeps, and I can feel that her hair is a little sweaty. I'm afraid she isn't going to wait to eat, and I do need to go."

"I appreciate you meeting with me," Andy nodded to her. "If holding her a minute helps you, I would be thrilled to do that."

Sharon looked down at Hannah again while she considered the offer. She met Andy's gaze and gave him a small nod, "Okay, it would help to get her out, and I could get her bottle ready while you hold her. Then, I need to get over to work."

"Bottle?" Andy asked, repeating the word as if he didn't understand it.

"Yes, bottle," Sharon said, slightly on edge. "Babies don't use coffee cups."

"No, I just thought you'd said you were breastfeeding her," he explained.

"I was, but I stopped recently. That doesn't make me a bad parent," she said in a quick tone.

"No, no!" Andy held up his hand. "I wasn't saying that, not at all. I'm the crappy parent. That's no question. You are a wonderful mother. I was simply asking for information sake. I should be thanking you for doing anything to take care of her, for enduring that pregnancy with her, for bringing this beautiful, perfectly healthy baby into this world, all on your own."

Sharon, who had been messing with the straps on the carrier, paused with that, and she looked over at Andy, her eyes focused on him. He finished talking and put his hands together and rested them on the table again, almost as if that calmed him.

"All I am saying, was saying, will continue to say, is that I would really like to be part of her life in every way, but at least in any way you might allow me," he stated and then frowned.

"You may hold her," Sharon said in a choked-up tone. She cleared her throat, "I don't mind you holding her while I dig out her bottle, and then, I need to go."

"Do you want to feed her here? If I can help by doing, that, I'd love to do anything," Andy offered.

Sharon shook her head, "No, I really need to get over to work. My boss, my friend really, Helen," Sharon rolled her eyes, "said we needed to discuss a couple of orders while I fed Hannah, so I do need to go." She finally pulled Hannah from the carrier, and Andy put his hand to his mouth as he looked at his baby girl. She had grown a lot since he'd seen her, now months ago, just after she was born. She had thick dark hair, at least on the back of her head, that was filling in nicely. He smiled at her tiny legs as she started to kick with them and noted Sharon had her in a one-piece light pink outfit, almost like a sleeper, but without her feet covered. She was wearing little pink socks the same color as her outfit. He hadn't been paying attention to what Sharon was saying, but saw she was talking so he turned his attention to her.

"I know you are hungry, baby," Sharon said to the infant. "Shh, shh," she said as Hannah let out a couple of frustrated cries. I'll get your bottle, and we can go. I'm going to let," she paused as she tried to figure out what to say next, "Andy," she finally said and let out her breath, "Andy, hold you while I get everything together."

Sharon met his gaze, and he nodded to her, "Do you want me to stand and come to you, or what should I do?"

Sharon stood, the carrier front dropping down her front as she held out Hannah. Andy kept his eyes focused on the baby, and he put his arms out to get her. He sat back with Hannah securely in his arms, a huge smile on his face as he stared into his daughter's, now open, eyes.

"Hey, kiddo," he said quietly as he looked at Hannah. He couldn't take her in fast enough. She had a full head of dark hair, and with her pale skin, she was striking and beautiful to him. He watched as she scrunched up her nose and started to let out another cry, while he tried to bounce her slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sharon watching him while she was trying to get Hannah's bottle ready and decided that he needed to focus exclusively on Hannah for these few moments. "There, there," he said as he bounced her in his arms, "hungry, huh? Mom's getting your bottle, and I have to say, I'm really glad to see you. Oh, you've got pretty eyes," he commented running his thumb over her hair.

"They are not my eyes," he heard from Sharon and looked up at her quickly. He'd tried to focus only on Hannah, but Sharon commenting on his conversation with Hannah had him interested. He narrowed his gaze at her. She shrugged and repeated it, "They are not my eyes. She has my nose, but she has your eyes. Several people have commented on her eyes, that they are really beautiful."

"They are," Andy added, nodding. He looked back at Hannah and then quickly to Sharon, "See, I think her eyes look like yours."

Sharon shook her head, "I don't. My mom doesn't see it either. Obviously, she doesn't know you, but she commented Hannah's eyes don't look like anyone in the family, not me, not the kids, no one."

Andy pursed his lips, but instead of speaking again, he turned back to Hannah as she tried to squirm. Sharon dug around in her bag more while he looked at Hannah. He shifted her, from resting in his arms, to putting her on his shoulder while he patted her back. "How's that, kiddo? You're squirming around, so maybe you need to stretch, hmm?" Andy continued to talk to Hannah, almost awaiting an answer from her. He finally pulled her off his shoulder and held her out to look at her, and she scrunched up her face again and let out a loud hiccup. Andy chuckled, "That's what it was. You just have a lot going on in that tummy of yours."

Movement had him looking toward Sharon, and he saw her now standing. She nodded to Andy, "I have all of her things. I need to get back to work."

"I understand," Andy told her. "For what it's worth, thank you. This means more than you know; it means the world to me, just talking and of course, holding Hannah. I really appreciate it."

Sharon quickly gave him a single nod and looked around the shop. It was empty this time of the morning. She adjusted her bag and said, "I am guessing you will be going back to Los Angeles?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "So, where does that leave us?"

"Us," she gestured with her hand. "The only us happened almost a year ago when we messed around for several days during the holidays. Look, I have heard everything you've said."

Andy nodded, "I meant everything; I mean everything," he explained. "I'll do anything to be part of your lives."

Sharon looked to the ceiling, and Andy saw her take a deep breath. She let it out, and then she looked at him, "My son made a comment a few weeks ago, one that I haven't been able to forget. He and I discussed his father, or lack of one. I'm not going to get into specifics, but I'm not sure what I want right now."

"Okay," Andy frowned, not sure what Sharon was saying. "So?"

"So," she put her hands out to reach for Hannah. Andy, understanding the gesture, kissed Hannah's head, took in a deep breath of her, and he gave her back to Sharon. Sharon gathered her things quickly, Hannah in her arms, as she placed a burp cloth on her shoulder for Hannah to rest there.

"So," Sharon said quickly as she started to step away, but she paused long enough to speak to Andy, "so," she repeated without looking at him, but looked at Hannah. "I meant what I said before, that if I thought you were trying to be a problem for me, I could and would get a restraining order. I'm going to leave you with this," she nodded to him and put a piece of paper down on the table. "I'm trusting my judgment and leaving you with that. Bye, Andy," and before he could say anything more, before he could stand, before he could even reach over and squeeze Hannah's foot, Sharon, with Hannah in her arms, moved quickly, out of the coffee shop. He sat there, watching her as the door closed, watching her as she disappeared from sight. He looked down at the paper, not sure what she'd left for him and not sure what the future would hold.


	36. Chapter 36

"How did it go?" Provenza asked as he looked up and watched Andy slowly sit down in the chair across from him. Andy had moved from one coffee shop to another, from one chair to another and was now seated opposite Provenza.

Andy gently put his hands on the table and met Provenza's stare. He shrugged and commented, "It went okay."

"What does that mean?" Provenza gestured and nodded his head toward Andy. "Well?"

"I mean, it went okay. We talked. Neither yelled. Actually, it went better than okay. I held Hannah," he admitted with a small smile.

Provenza sat back and nodded, "Okay, you talked. She let you hold Hannah. Okay."

"Exactly!" Andy almost exclaimed. "That's what I said. I told you it went okay."

"Okay doesn't really tell me anything," Provenza pointed out.

"Which is why I told you we talked, and I held Hannah," Andy admitted.

"We are going in circles, talking about this," Provenza said.

"Okay," Andy rolled his eyes and gestured with one hand.

"Well," Provenza encouraged Andy to say more by gesturing.

"Well, what?" Andy asked.

"Flynn! You know what I'm asking. How were things? What was said? Are we going back to L.A. now?" Provenza asked.

"Yeah, we can go back to L.A.," Andy nodded. "I'm not sure what comes next."

"What do you mean? Isn't that what you two discussed?" Provenza gave him an odd look as he asked. "You were gone a half hour, and I hope you discussed something, anything!"

"We talked about Hannah, about a lot of things. I told her I was regretting my actions, that I made a mistake signing that paperwork. She listened and didn't say much. Hannah woke up and was hungry, and Sharon said she needed to get to work. I was able to hold Hannah a couple minutes while she got her things together, but as she left, Sharon gave me a slip of paper. It had her address and new phone number on it," he nodded with a small shrug. "She said she was trusting her judgement to give me that. I don't know what comes next. She didn't yell or scream. She didn't run from me. She listened, and she gave me that."

Provenza's eyes rose as he listened to Andy, "Flynn, that's a good sign. I mean, she isn't exactly offering you a Father's Day gift, but it's a start."

"It is," Andy nodded as he tapped his fingers on the table. "Thing is, I don't want to scare Sharon or anything else. I want to tread lightly, you know? She trusted me with that, and I appreciate it. I'm just not sure what to do next. I mean, do I call her? If I do, how often? When do I call her? Oh!" he exclaimed and smacked his hand on the table.

"What?" Provenza frowned at Andy smacking the table because it spilled some of his full cup of coffee.

"Sorry," Andy grumbled as he gestured to the spill that Provenza was now wiping up on the table. "I was so focused on talking to Sharon and holding Hannah, I forgot to give her that medical paperwork. I have those gifts for Hannah too. I didn't expect to run into her, and now, I still have all that to give to her."

"Oh," Provenza sighed, "well, you could stop by her work now and do that."

"Yeah," Andy shook his head, trying to think of the right thing to do. "I hate to do that to her. I want to give her that space, to not roll into her new job and bring that drama. I think she'd hate that, and all my goodwill might backfire. Last thing she needs is to explain who I am and why I'm here. No, I need to do something else."

"You have her address," Provenza gestured. "You could mail it to her."

Andy made a face and gestured with his head back and forth. It was an option but wasn't one he liked. He shook his head, "Yeah, I mean, I could do that, but I'm right here. Maybe I could drop it off after she is done at work."

Provenza eyed him, "So, you want to wait around for her? That's not stalking," he chuckled and picked up his cup for a sip.

"No, I mean, I could tell her I have all this, and if she's okay with it, maybe I could get it to her after work. That would delay us leaving here, but we could just drive overnight. Provenza, I don't to leave without giving her the paperwork and Hannah the gifts. I hope you understand that."

"Flynn, I haven't understood much about your behavior for at least the last year. I will say, though, that I understand your need to finish everything on this trip. You brought gifts for your daughter and want to give them to her. You brought medical information you want her to have. Fine," he raised his hands. "I am here to make sure you don't do something completely idiotic. You want to wait until the captain finishes with work? We can do that. How are you going to do all this?" he asked.

Andy drummed his fingers as he held his other hand up to his lips while he thought. "How about this-I will send Sharon a text message, thanking her for the number and address. That way, she has my number too, because," he rolled his eyes, "I'm sure she burned that with the rest of her previous life. I can tell her I have things for Hannah and ask her what would be the best to do. How is that?"

Provenza pondered it for a moment and nodded, "I think that's reasonable. You can't surprise her again. This doesn't seem like a terrible idea."

Andy nodded and pulled out his phone. Provenza watched as he typed, and Andy focused on his message. He sent it and looked up at Provenza. He nodded, "Sent."

"What's the plan now? We aren't going to sit here all day and wait for her to respond. She might not respond," he pointed out to Andy. Andy just nodded.

"I know. The hard part, at least from what I see, is over. I found Sharon, and I talked to her. I even have her contact information now. I got to spend a few minutes with my daughter. Provenza," he grinned, "she's so beautiful. She has dark hair, a lot of it, and she has the most beautiful eyes. Sharon said she has my eyes," he shook his head and made a face, "but I don't see it. I see Sharon in her eyes. She's just a gorgeous girl."

"Hannah or the captain?" Provenza crossed his arms and sat back, his attention focused on Andy. Andy snapped his head up at him.

"Wait, what?" he asked.

Provenza gestured, "You were talking about how gorgeous she is. You mentioned Hannah, but then, you said she looks like the captain. So, who is the gorgeous one now? Are you still interested in the captain, after all of this?"

"I don't know!" Andy gestured wildly. "I mean, yeah, sure," he nodded. "Sharon is really attractive, and we had a great chemistry together. I'm well aware she and I have been through it this last year, that she's got a lot going on, maybe more than I can imagine. She's had it rough. I don't know what I think. Is she beautiful? Oh yeah," he nodded. "I think she is. I couldn't have picked a more beautiful woman for the mother of my daughter, no offense to Sandra, but seriously, Sharon is drop dead gorgeous. Hannah had better look like Sharon because I'm nothing to look at," he scoffed. "As far as anything more, I don't know. I'm so focused on the idea of never seeing my kid right now, that I haven't processed anything more."

"You realize that she's a walking disaster?" Provenza asked.

"Maybe," Andy nodded and shrugged before he continued, "maybe not."

Provenza narrowed his gaze and pointed at Andy, "Sleeping with her again would not be a good idea. In fact, I would advise against it. Things are messy enough."

"Look, right now, I just want to focus on the fact that we found them. I want to spend more time with Hannah. Anything else," he closed his eyes and shook his head, "I can't deal with it now."

"Tell yourself that nothing good will come from you sleeping with her," Provenza told him.

"Hannah came from that," Andy smirked and winked at Provenza.

"Nothing else good will come from that. You know perfectly well what I'm saying, Flynn, but I know you too. You sleep with anything that walks if she's interested, or if you are interested and pursue her."

"Right now, I'm interested in spending time with my daughter," Andy explained. "I haven't been sleeping with anyone lately. I've been so focused on finding Sharon and Hannah. That's for the advice. I've heard it, and I'm not discussing it now. I have enough on my plate."

Provenza rolled his eyes and shook his head at Andy. The two were quiet for a few moments before Provenza gave him a nod, "Speaking of plates, let's get out of here. I'm hungry. We need to find somewhere to eat."

Andy gestured around to where they were, "We're in a coffee shop."

"Precisely," Provenza said and threw up his hands. "They serve coffee."

"You know they have food too," he pointed out.

"They don't have anything I want for lunch. I already had a muffin. I'm ready to have lunch. The girl at the counter earlier told me there is a good barbeque place in town. Let's go there," he nodded to Andy.

"Whatever," Andy threw up his hand. "I'm not hungry."

"And, that's why I picked barbeque with the vegetarian. I thought as much, that you wouldn't be hungry. You can watch me eat, tell me how you aren't going to pursue the captain, and we can wait for her to maybe reply to your message."

As if almost on cue, Andy's phone alerted him to a next text message. He grabbed his phone quickly and read the message. He looked over the top of his phone at Provenza, "She's going to let me drop off what I have, told me it wasn't necessary to get Hannah anything."

Provenza rolled his eyes, "She can take care of her on her own, yeah, yeah," he waved. "Fine, we can eat, and then, while we are waiting for your baby mama to finish work, we can find a store."

"For what?" Andy raised his eyebrows.

"A Christmas gift!" Provenza exclaimed. "Baby Hannah needs a gift from Uncle Provenza. I can't have you outdo me."

"I'm here dad," Andy pointed out. "She's a baby too."

"Somehow, that hasn't stopped you," he pointed out to Andy.

"I'm her dad! I'll say it again. I don't want all of this to fall on Sharon," he said, now flustered.

"Yet," Provenza pointed at him, "you were okay signing that paperwork before. You knew she'd raise the kid."

"I signed it because that's what she wanted, and I thought I was doing the right thing. Let's call it a moment of temporary insanity. I've come to realize it was a bad idea."

"It was no moment," he nodded to Andy. "You slept with her several times last winter. That's more than a moment. You still are insane. I'm glad she's letting you see the kid, but I can see it in your eyes, Flynn. You have this idea with her, and it's going to be a mess."

"Look, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if she will really allow me to spend time with Hannah or not. Right now, I'm counting my blessings. I was able to see her today, to talk to Sharon and Hannah even. As far as the future," he shrugged, "I don't know. I'm not sure what I want or would be okay with, but the one thing I know is I want to be in Hannah's life."

"Getting involved with the captain could ruin all of that, Flynn. Don't mess around with her and expect everything to be okay. Custody battles can get ugly when relationships go south."

"Well aware," Andy said. "We had a good chemistry before, but that's all we had. I remember that, but let's just focus on today, that I get one more chance to see Hannah before we leave. I'm excited Sharon is going to let me drop off the things I have."

Andy expected the day to drag on, waiting for Sharon to finish work, but he was surprised it flew by, and before he knew it, it was after 5:00.

"Provenza," he called out to him as Andy walked toward him. The two were at the shopping mall and had been for a couple hours. In addition to shopping for Hannah, the men had decided to do some of their regular Christmas shopping while they had the time. They had been in many of the same stores together, but now, in this particular department store, found themselves splitting up to do specific shopping. Andy had found things for his grown kids and for his sister. That had taken care of most of his list. He'd wandered into the baby section, where he couldn't help himself and had bought several things for Hannah, all in larger sizes so Sharon would have them as Hannah grew. He found himself excited now, knowing she was giving him a small chance. He didn't know what would come of it, but he now at least had contact with Sharon, which gave him contact with Hannah. "Hey, I got a text from Sharon," he said and held up his phone. Provenza was in a lounge chair, reclining, near the lingerie department. He had spotted him from afar, and now, as he walked up to him, he started to chuckle. "Were you sleeping?"

"What if I was?" Provenza said and sat up in the chair. "These recliners in the lingerie area are ingenious. Guys can sit and wait while the lady shops," he nodded across the way. "Not a bad place to relax, Flynn."

"Whatever," Andy waved.

"Where have you been? Please tell me you didn't buy another tie. The last thing you need is another tie," he grumbled.

"I was shopping in the infant section. I bought Hannah a few things. Anyway, we need to go. Sharon said she was leaving work, and I could stop by her place. Let's go. I want to see them before we head home."

"No argument from me," Provenza grumbled as he groaned and stood. "Come on; let's go see your kid."

Provenza had to remind Andy several times they were not on duty, and therefore, he couldn't speed around in his personal car. Andy, knowing this, continually waved him off, excited at this opportunity to stop by and drop off the things he had for Hannah. He'd spent several minutes reorganizing the car before they left the mall and had put all of Hannah's things together. Her things took up most of the backseat. He had the saucer toy for her, wrapped, designated for Christmas. He had some clothing he'd bought her both in L.A. and here today. As they followed their navigation, he looked around at the area.

"Sharon is living in a nice part of town," Andy nodded.

"Was there any doubt? One thing I can say about the captain is she has some class. What she saw in you, messing around with you," Provenza raised his eyebrows at Andy and grunted.

"Oh, stuff it," Andy said, exasperated. "Hmm, looks like she's in an apartment or condo."

"Easier to take care of," Provenza added. "It's safe too."

Andy nodded and pulled into the complex. He drove around until he found the right building and parked, now understanding the way the address was written, that she was in an apartment complex. He got out of the car and looked back inside to Provenza, "Hey, do you mind waiting here?"

Provenza shook his head, "I figured you would want time alone. I'll be here. Just make sure to put my gift in too," he gestured to the backseat of the car. Andy held up the wrapped gift, something the two were glad to find at the mall-both the gift and the wrapping booth, and he put it inside a shopping bag. He pulled out the saucer, which was in a large box, and he put the paperwork from his sister inside one of the bags he had. After figuring out how to balance all of it, he took a deep breath.

"Wish me luck," he gave Provenza a small smile.

"Just use your head. Don't overwhelm her, and whatever you do, don't invite yourself inside," he scowled.

"Why?" Andy asked, now curious.

"Give her space. She probably sees her house as her space. Don't invade that. Just let her get used to the idea you are around right now. Besides," he shook his head, "you go inside, and there's no telling."

"Provenza!" Andy exclaimed. "You act like I'm going to jump into bed with her!"

"Well?" he shrugged. "You said it's been awhile, and you have been known to do exactly that with the captain."

"Not that long, and besides," he gestured. "I'm trying to get into her good graces. Come on!"

"If I wasn't here, you know you'd be thinking, it," he pointed out to Andy.

"That's not the point!" Andy stated in an irritated tone. "My kid is an infant in the same room. I'll be back-soon," he scowled and shut the door. He knew Provenza could be a good friend, but he could also be the biggest irritant.

Andy tried to refocus, to remember that he needed to be calm and collected as he saw Sharon again. He walked to the building and figured out where her door was. Andy walked to it, took a deep breath, and he knocked.

The hallway was quiet while he waited, but he soon heard Sharon on the other side of the door, unlocking it. He took a quick breath again and made sure to check himself over, before he looked up to find her opening the door.

"Hi," he offered quickly, with a small smile. He tried to calm himself and not seem to anxious.

"Hi," she said quietly and looked down around him. "What's all that? You said you had something for Hannah. That's more than a something."

"Oh, this," he gestured around where he was standing. He'd the saucer down to knock on the door and had then placed the bags next to it. He looked back up to meet her gaze and found himself almost lost in her eyes. She was beautiful, and he didn't care what she said about Hannah's eyes. He saw the same eyes on Sharon. "Ahh, this is all for Hannah. I brought her a few things, things I am sure she needs, and then, maybe a few things I just liked."

"I see," she nodded, her lips pursed. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," he rolled his eyes again. "You can provide. I get it. I just wanted to get her this. I'm her dad, and it's the least I can do. I haven't done anything right yet. I'd like to start."

She bit her lip, wanting to reply to so much of what he'd said, but she just sighed and shook her head, "It's not necessary. She won't even know what is going on right now with Christmas," she explained as she nodded to the large wrapped gift. "You did give me that money for her. That was definitely something. I'm not asking for anything."

"I know," he shrugged. "I know, though, and I want you to know I'm thinking about her, about you. This is for you too, to just help. It's one of those saucer toys. Have you seen them? Do you have one?"

"You got her a saucer toy?" she asked, clearly surprised.

"Is that a problem?" he asked.

"No," she paused and frowned, trying to find the right words. "It's just unexpected. I didn't expect you to know anything about those."

"I've been brushing up on baby gear," he told her. "Anyway, I have some clothing here, all larger sizes for her. I hope you will take it and use it."

"You sent that before," she said quickly, and he looked up from where he'd been looking in the bags and looked at her. She repeated, "You sent that before," she nodded. "You sent her clothing after she was born. Why did you do that? You'd already given me that ridiculously large check, as I just mentioned. You have done more than I ever expected-or needed."

"I told you," he explained. "I want to help. She's my kid too, no matter what a paper says. I'm trying to do the right thing. Look, signing that, I suppose it didn't sink in then what I was actually doing. I mean, sure, I knew what it was on a piece of paper, but it's like as soon as I saw her, I had all this regret, like what have I done, you know? I'm not sure I can explain, but I'm going to do better; I'm going to be here, if you will let me, however you will let me."

"Look, Andy," she said breathlessly and looked away while he saw her take a deep breath, probably trying to figure out her thoughts. "I'm not sure what all this means yet. I'm not sure if I want you in her life. I'm talking to you, but that doesn't mean anything, at least regarding Hannah. I realize I treated you badly too, and I am sorry. I still want to do what is best for Hannah. I mentioned my son said something that has stuck with me. He told me that while Hannah might not need her father, perhaps later, she'd like to have one. I don't know why I'm still playing that in my head, but I am. I'm not sure if I want to go there, to open our lives, her life," she corrected, "to you because in my past, that has only led to sadness and disappointment. I just want what is best for her," she said again.

"As do I," he said quietly, their eyes meeting. He gave her a small smile, "That's all I want, and I hope you will see I have good intentions. I'm going to leave all of this here for you. There's a manila envelope in that bag," he pointed, "with my sister's medical information. Please, just file that away, and hopefully, Hannah will never need it."

She looked to the ground and nodded. Andy sighed and looked to his shoes. He looked up when Sharon spoke again, "So, you are going home?" Andy found her now standing, her arms crossed, almost in a defensive stance.

"Yeah," he nodded and decided to put his hands in his pockets, almost the opposite stance. He wanted to come across as being laid back and relaxed right now. "We have to work in the morning. Provenza will probably sleep all the way home," he let out a nervous chuckle. Sharon returned the same type of chuckle and looked to the bags. Andy followed her gaze, "Oh, I can put these packages inside." He saw her eyes change, almost to a fearful look, and he quickly added, "I'm not inviting myself inside. I'm only trying to be a gentleman and put these in your door. I promise I'm not staying."

"Okay," she said, her arms still crossed. She met his glance, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Thanks for accepting a kind deed," he added and picked up the package. "Where do you want this?"

"By the Christmas tree is fine," she said and stepped out of the way for him to move inside. Sharon quickly picked up the bags and brought them into the apartment. Andy glanced around and saw her tree up by the window. He walked to it and put the present down against the wall. He turned back to her and saw she had the bags. "Thank you for these," she nodded. "Hannah is growing quickly."

"I can tell," he added. "If you need anything else, let me know. I want to help. I'm leaving now, but is there a chance I could see Hannah?" Andy gave her a pleading look, and she turned slightly nodding toward the kitchen area.

"She's in her swing by the kitchen," she explained. "I'll get her."

"I will just wait here at the door," he smiled softly and took a step to the door. He noted she had closed it, but he couldn't blame her. It was cold outside, so he stood almost against the door to hopefully convey he wasn't trying to intrude.

He watched Sharon as she walked to the kitchen, and then he noticed the swing. He was trying to take in the apartment, to almost memorize where his daughter was living, and he saw Sharon pick up Hannah. He loved that little girl, as he watched her scrunch up her legs again as her mother picked her up. He watched Sharon, so carefully, put Hannah against her chest as she walked toward Andy. He noted Hannah had on a different outfit from the morning, and he couldn't help but smile at the sweet baby.

"She looks so peaceful on you," he told her and gave her a small smile. Sharon just hummed and patted Hannah's back. "That's a different outfit."

"She's dressed for bed. It's just about 6:00, but we've gotten into the habit of coming in, getting her a nice bath, and dressing her for bed. She'll take another bottle soon. I'm sure the schedule will completely change when she's eating solid foods, but this is working for now. We are both changed and dressed for the night in together."

Andy nodded and looked over both of them. Hannah was in an all pink pajama set. She was curled up on Sharon's chest, and he could hear her making small noises even while Sharon was talking. Sharon, he noted, was in what he would call lounge-style clothing. She had on leggings and a long-sleeve long shirt. He looked back at Sharon and found her staring at him.

"Thank you again for seeing me, for listening to me, and for letting me stop by here. I promise I won't invade your life. I do want to be in Hannah's life, though," he said again.

Sharon ran her hand over Hannah's back, and thankfully, she spoke before he had to again, "I know you want to hold her."

"More than anything right now," he sighed. "I'd love to hold her." Sharon gave a single nod and then easily lifted Hannah. Andy took her from Sharon, their hands overlapping, and he apologize. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snag your hand on mine."

She just brushed off the comment and crossed her arms again while she watched him hold her. He felt Hannah pull her legs up to him as she snuggled on his chest. He instinctively brought his hand up to the back of her neck to support her.

"She's getting stronger each day," Sharon said, nodding at that. "She's going to be rolling over and sitting up in no time."

"I hope you might consider letting me know some of that, you know, when she hits some of these milestones. I do really want to know," he told her.

"Andy," she sighed and looked to the floor. "I can't have her hurt like my other kids have been."

"I've hurt her already, walking away," he explained. "I want to fix that, and I want to be around. Please, I want you to know you can never ask enough of me. I want to help. I would love pictures, and I'd love to hear about her. Look, you gave me your number and address. Would you mind if I called sometime? I won't bug you, but I want to ask about her."

Sharon uncrossed and then crossed her arms again, almost squirming, while Andy stood there, Hannah in his arms, and he watched Sharon. She bit her lip again, "Occasionally would be okay."

"Great, thank you," he nodded to her. He glanced down to the side, now, just noticing she had a line of bags packed there by the door. He had not noticed them before now, his attention stuck on Hannah.

"Wait, what's that?" Andy nodded to the bags, his arms, still wrapped around Hannah. "Sharon, your luggage-are you running?" His eyes widened, and he looked back at her. "Seriously, are you running away? I can't believe you would run. We were starting to make progress, and I thought we could continue to talk about Hannah. Running?"

"Andy!" Sharon snapped, and he looked quickly back at her, now noting she looked irritated. Her arms were crossed again, but this time, he could see she was not happy. She pointed at him and shook her head. "Andy," she sighed. "I am not running. My bags have been packed for two days. My daughter," she said and then clarified, "my older daughter, Emily, is graduating from college this weekend. Hannah and I are flying to New York tomorrow night. I booked an overnight flight hoping Hannah would sleep okay, but I'm not sure that was a wise idea," she said and rolled her eyes. "I'm driving to Phoenix tomorrow, and my parents will drop us off at the airport. I'm not running," she stated again.

"Oh," he said quietly and looked to Hannah. She was looking up at him, and those eyes, oh, those eyes got to him. He looked back at Sharon, certain he was looking into the same eyes, "Listen, I'm sorry. I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'm an idiot, but you already know that. Like I imagine you are doing, I'm working on trust. I want to trust you, as I hope you want to trust me."

"Thank you," she said quietly. She looked to Andy, almost wanting to tell him to hand over Hannah, but she held back. He could tell she was cautious of the baby, so he kissed Hannah again.

"I love you, my princess," he said quietly to her. "You be good for your mom. Sleep on the plane, and you have a great time with your sister in New York. I love you. I don't know when I will see you again, but I love you more than you could imagine, more than I could imagine." Andy pulled the baby off his chest and handed her back to Sharon. He could see Sharon almost relax the moment she had the baby back in her arms. He gave her a small smile, "I hope your trip goes well. Congrats on your daughter graduating. Emily, right?"

She nodded, "Emily, yes, and thank you. I'm very proud of her. She has a job there in New York with a ballet company."

"Wow," Andy's eyes rose in surprise. "That's amazing, Sharon."

"It is, yes. I'm glad I can see her graduate," she told him.

"Well, ahh, if you need anything, just let me know. You can call, text, email-whatever you want. If you ever want to send pictures of little Hannah, I would be delighted. I'll answer," he said in a nervous tone. "Say, so, maybe I will call you or something after you get back."

"Maybe," she nodded. "I am busy, though. After I get back, I'll be working some, and then, I will be with all my kids for Christmas in Phoenix with my parents. It's a busy time of year."

"It is," he nodded. "I'm going to get going. Merry Christmas, Sharon. I will call. I will give you space, but I'll call. I am working hard to rebuild my family, all my family."


	37. Chapter 37

Sharon looked around the room and smiled. It had been a good day; it was a great day, in fact. She had all of her family here together, to celebrate Christmas with each other. She looked over at Emily, her beautiful, now grown daughter and college graduate, laughing and smacking at Ricky. It was the picture of sibling behavior, the two teasing each other as they had done since they were toddlers. Ricky, her now middle child, was growing up, too, in more ways than one. He was well over six feet tall now with an appetite to prove it, and he was growing up in the eyes of the real world with his college classes. Sharon and Ricky had spent a good deal of time during this trip talking about his future plans, about his interests, and about different job opportunities. It was wonderful to talk to her, once immature son, about his "grown up plans" as she had joked with him. Her babies, all of her babies, were growing up right before her eyes.

Sharon, then turned toward her youngest, sweet little Hannah. She glanced back at Emily and Ricky and rolled her eyes at the scene; Emily was sticking her tongue out at Ricky and giggling while Ricky was groaning and shaking his head. The two were obviously in a silly mood, neither one ready to admit they had missed the other over the last few months. She looked back over at Hannah, spoiled rotten Hannah, propped on her mom's lap, just taking in all of the noise and movement. Hannah was smiling and babbling, the drool running down her chin; that had been a recent development, Hannah drooling. Sharon loved just how happy Hannah was most of the time, but she also glanced at her older two children and frowned, realizing Hannah would grow up almost like an only child. While she would have an older brother and sister, she more than likely, wouldn't have that close sibling bond. There was nothing Sharon could do about it, other than to encourage her adult children to remain close with their little sister, but the thought did cross her mind. She looked back over at Hannah and her mom, both smiling. Hannah had been almost the best gift for Christmas, if she could be considered a gift; Sharon's mom hadn't stopped smiling when in Hannah's presence. There was no question the little surprise was a welcome addition to the family and very much loved. Sharon's parents had gone overboard too with the Christmas gifts for Hannah, almost treating her like she was their only grandchild, but no one seemed to mind. It was sweet, and Sharon, again, looking around the room, just shook her head at the enormous pile of gifts, all for Hannah, that now had to somehow travel with her back to Flagstaff.

"Sharon, everything okay?" she heard and spun her head around to meet her mom's gaze. Sharon's mom was sitting across the room from her, Hannah on her lap, and Sharon just grinned at the scene with Hannah sitting there on her mom's lap, grabbing at her own feet, trying to pick them up. That had been her fascination lately.

"Everything is wonderful," Sharon gave her mom a genuine smile and did the same with the kids who had stopped talking to see if there was a problem. "In fact, I'm sitting here just thinking about what a wonderful Christmas this is, how I am so glad to be here with all of you this Christmas."

"We are so glad to have all of you here too," her mom smiled back at Sharon. "We missed you last year when you were on that depressing work trip. I still can't believe the man you were transporting back to California ended up dying."

"Hmm," Sharon nodded. Her mind started to drift at the mention of the trip. It drifted to the events of the trip, mostly to what she had done on the trip, what she AND Andy had done on the trip. Sharon glanced back at her mom and Hannah, and when her eyes landed on her daughter, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. What she had done on the trip, or shortly after the trip, was staring back at her, drool and all. Yes, she had a daily reminder of that trip, a reminder she hadn't specifically shared with anyone in her family. Sure, if her family had done the math, and she was sure her mom had, she had probably figured out that Hannah was conceived around the time of the trip, but Sharon had never mentioned any of the circumstances surrounding Hannah's life story, to include no mention of Andy. She needed to keep it that way.

Andy. He was a thought too, or if she was honest, he was probably more than a thought. She was finding it harder and harder to look at Hannah and not think of him. Hannah looked more like Andy each day, at least she thought so. The eyes were the culprit; her daughter had Andy's eyes. They were striking, so much that her parents had commented on how beautiful her eyes were. Sharon had never mentioned to her parents that Hannah had her father's eyes. She just didn't want to go there, to discuss Andy because while she'd agreed to be civil, he was not in the picture.

As she thought about it, Sharon realized she hadn't heard from Andy. After he'd left her doorstep now a couple weeks ago, he'd gone home, and she had to admit she had been terrified he would start calling her all the time. He hadn't. She'd been a nervous mess those first few days after he left, just waiting for him to call, or really, dreading that he would call, but he hadn't. He'd kept his distance, and she respected that. She really wasn't sure what game he was playing now, but she still wasn't sure she could trust him. She certainly couldn't trust him in Hannah's life, at least not yet, not until she figured out what he really wanted. Sharon had never had any luck with men; they had always wanted something from her, and she was still having a hard time believing Andy Flynn was any different.

"Well, little missy, you need a diaper change," Sharon heard and turned her head back to her mom. Sharon had been daydreaming a lot over the last few days while in Phoenix. She couldn't help it. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and it really brought out her sense of occasion. She smiled up at her mom, who was now standing with Hannah in her arms. Sharon stood too and smoothed over her pants.

"I can change her Mom," Sharon put her arms out, offering to take Hannah from her.

"I'm sure you can, at least I hope you can. Someone has been changing this baby for the last four months, and I would like to think you know how to do that. I can do it this one time. I'm perfectly capable," her mom smiled at Sharon and patted her arm.

"I've never heard two people argue about changing a baby's nasty diaper," Ricky grimaced and started to chuckle.

Sharon paused by her son and put her hand on his shoulder, where he was sitting on the floor, "If you are volunteering for diaper duty, I am sure your sister would be thrilled. We can tell her when she's 18 about how her big brother, Ricky, loved changing her diapers."

Emily burst out laughing and pointed at Ricky. He frowned and shook his head, "Ahh, no thanks. I think I'll get a glass of water. Grandpa want anything?"

"I'll take a cup of coffee, Ricky. Do you know how to make it?" he asked.

Sharon had to use the back of her hand to cover her mouth. She loved that her dad still saw the kids as just that, kids, but she did find it funny that often her dad didn't realize the kids were grown and could do normal things, like make coffee.

"Sure, Grandpa," Ricky flashed a grin at Sharon, the joke one they had discussed before. "I can make coffee just fine. Anyone else?"

"Might as well make a full pot, Ricky," Sharon's mom said, smiling at him. "We'll drink it. It's still the middle of the afternoon. Now, I'm going to get this baby changed. She might be ready for a nap."

"I sure am," Emily said, stretching out on the floor. "Whoever decided on Christmas lunch, nice work. I'm glad we ate early. My food can digest now, and I can get in a little nap."

"Well, while the majority of you are busy with various things, Mom, I'll go with you to change Hannah," Sharon stated with a nod.

"Sharon, I do know how to change a diaper," her mom frowned.

"I know," Sharon nodded and chuckled. "She is ready for a nap, and well," Sharon shrugged, "I did come here to see you too. I'd enjoy chatting with you while Hannah gets ready for her nap."

Sharon and her mom walked gingerly around the room. The place was full of Christmas gifts. Her parents had gone overboard with gifts, and she chuckled at the stacks as she walked by them. One stack had a pool theme, with the thought that Sharon would bring Hannah to visit over her spring break in March. Their retirement complex had a pool, and now, Hannah had a variety of baby pool floats to use. They'd bought way too much, but Sharon hadn't said anything. She knew her parents were delighted with their youngest grandchild, even if the details surrounding her existence were a little hazy. She glanced up and saw her mom watching her. She smiled at her and gestured for them to walk down the hall.

Her mom nodded, and the two women walked to the back of the small house to the spare bedroom where Sharon was staying with Hannah and Emily. Her parents had moved to this retirement community now several years ago, and at that time, had significantly downsized their home. They sold the family home and had bought this small, two-bedroom home. It was the right size for the two of them, but tight when Sharon and the kids visited. Now, it was rare for all to visit at the same time, but when they did, they just adjusted to the tight quarters. Ricky would sleep on the couch, and even some evenings, Emily would too, especially if the two stayed up late watching a movie. Thankfully, Hannah was a good sleeper and was sleeping through the night. She was sleeping from around 7 PM-7 AM, if Sharon was lucky, but most of this trip, she had been getting up closer to 5:30 in the morning. It hadn't been a problem because Sharon and her dad were early risers. Now, Hannah was about ready for her afternoon nap, and Sharon was thinking she might rest too while Hannah slept.

"Your father and I have certainly enjoyed having you and the kids here, Sharon," her mother said as she worked on Hannah's diaper. Sharon just smiled, looking at her mom at the makeshift changing table area. Her parents had a desk in the room, one where they paid their bills, and Sharon's mom had bought a portable changing table pad to put on the desk while Sharon was visiting. Sharon sat on the bed, watching her mom work, and she smiled when Hannah turned her head toward her and started to smile.

"I'm so happy everyone could be here together. It's been a wonderful Christmas," she nodded. "Really wonderful," she added and swallowed.

"Last year, I know it was rough for you. I could hear it in your voice. It seemed like you were so lonely, and that case," she shook her head and continued, "dreadful for a man to die right at Christmas."

"Yes," Sharon nodded, noting her mom was really focused on that topic. "It was hard on everyone involved."

"Hmm, it must have been really hard on you too, newly pregnant back then," her mother eyed her as she snapped up Hannah's little Christmas outfit. She was wearing a sweet little romper all in red with white and red striped sleeves that said, 'Baby's First Christmas.' The family had all commented on the sweet outfit, and Sharon had held back rolling her eyes after each comment, knowing Andy, of all people, had purchased the outfit for Hannah. Of course, he had. She had a bone to pick with him about the gifts for Hannah, but that conversation would have to wait until she had some privacy. Sharon looked up, baffled, at her mom's comment and gestured with her hand.

"Mom, I wasn't pregnant with Hannah on that trip. Remember, she was early," Sharon pointed out.

Her mom hummed, the same hum Sharon often used, and she turned again and eyed her, "If you weren't pregnant on that trip, your Christmas certainly couldn't have been that lonely. Sharon, we've never discussed the specifics of Hannah's arrival, but a mother is not stupid. I'm not going to ask because if you had wanted me to know, you would have told me by now, but I can do math, and in this case two plus two over the holidays equals a beautiful granddaughter right here in my home."

Sharon's eyes widened, and she looked away from her mom and at Hannah who was still lying there on the table, starting to squirm. Sharon looked up at her mom again and found her mom looking at her. She just gave her a small shrug and roll of her eyes, before she stood and put her hands out for Hannah.

"The past is the past. Hannah is my future, and she's just an amazing gift for all of us. She's changed our lives, and you, as well as I, know things happen for a reason. So, with that also in mind, I'm going to put her down for a nap. If she doesn't get a nap, she will be a mess this evening. None of us want that. I just want to remember this as a wonderful Christmas. We all deserve that."

"And, we will do as we often do," her mom patted Sharon's shoulder after Sharon picked up the baby. "We will agree to talk without talking, to say without speaking. You and I have a way, my daughter. I understand you more than you know. I will say this, that the participant in this," she gestured to Hannah, "with you, well, at least you have good taste. Little Hannah is a beautiful baby with the sweetest personality. I'm glad she is here too." Her mom squeezed her arm and walked to the door. "You both get some rest. Rumor has it my daughter, the college professor, starts her job soon."

Sharon called out to her mom as she started to close the door, "I'm not a professor! I'm just lecturing," she sighed when her mom ignored the comment and closed the door anyway. Sharon held Hannan on her should and turned to kiss the baby on her cheek.

"Have you had a Merry Christmas, my sweet girl?" she whispered as she started to slowly walk around the room. The room was large for a spare bedroom, but it was tight now with her things, Hannah's things, Emily's things, the furniture, and the added travel crib. Still, she had enough room to walk back and forth as she tried to get Hannah ready for a nap. "I've had a wonderful Christmas with you, my angel. Mommy loves you so much. You look so sweet today, and your hair is getting even longer. What am I going to do with it? You'll be the first baby on her first birthday to have a long ponytail," she chuckled as she used her hand to smooth down Hannah's dark hair. It wasn't that long yet, but it was thick and filling in more and more each day. Compared to her two bald babies, it was quite the change, and Sharon was just astounded at how much hair Hannah already had. She loved how soft it felt and how cute the baby looked with it all combed. "As much as I don't want to admit it, your outfit is one of the cutest things I have seen. Even I have to agree Mr. Andy has good taste," she said quietly and put her hand on the back of Hannah's head. She felt Hannah rest her head on Sharon's shoulder and start to wiggle. This was her trademark move when she was tired, and Sharon knew that if she kept walking around right now, Hannah would fall asleep quickly. She ran her hand over Hannah's head and thought back over what she'd just said. She'd called him 'Mr. Andy,' and that felt odd to her. Calling him anything but a one-night, okay, she rolled her eyes, a one-week mistake, seemed odd to her. She appreciated he hadn't contacted her since he'd found her in Flagstaff. That had been refreshing, and she was finally starting to relax about the situation, but still, the situation was anything but easy or settled. She continued to walk around, thinking about 'Mr. Andy.' Well, that's what she could call him with Hannah, if, in fact, he hung around at all. Sharon had finally gotten over the idea of just calling him Lieutenant Flynn or just Lieutenant. She'd admitted that sounded absurd after repeatedly sleeping with the man. Calling him anything else to Hannah wasn't right either because he had signed away his rights. He WASN'T her father, not in the legal arena, and he certainly wasn't the one raising her now, walking the halls with her at night. No, that was Sharon, all Sharon, and all by her choice, but she had to admit that 'Mr. Andy' had good taste, at least when it came to baby clothing.

As Sharon thought about things, she continued to walk, now in silence. Soon, she could feel Hannah relax and then, she could hear her little snores. She tried, unsuccessfully, to keep from laughing, but hearing an infant snore was extremely funny to her. It wasn't even a snore, really, but these little grunting noises Hannah would make when she settled into sleep. Sharon walked her back over to her travel crib and carefully put Hannah down. She smiled at her and stepped away to walk back to the side of the bed. She sat down and watched her sleeping baby, the smile widening on her face as she continued to look at her. Oh, she was a gorgeous baby. She had so much to be thankful for with Hannah. A year ago, her life had seemed so set, working for a few more years, and then retiring. A year ago, she'd been so focused on letting herself live, on living for the moment. A year ago, she'd fallen into bed with Andy, more times than she wanted to admit. Her mom knew it too, even if she didn't know the man involved or details of last Christmas. Sharon was grateful her mom had left their conversation at the admission of knowing the timing and hadn't asked more. She didn't want to explain it and wasn't sure she ever would. Andy was floating around in her life, but she wasn't sure he would ever be so involved she would have to explain him to her parents. She couldn't think about that now. It was all too much; she was still trying to wrap her head around the idea he wanted to be involved. She wasn't sure it was a good idea, for Hannah or herself. She needed more time to work it out, but for now, she was just grateful he'd left her alone these last few weeks.

With a sigh and possibly a little bit of guilt, she dug her phone out of her pocket. Part of her mind was telling her to take the picture, and part of her heart was telling her to stop. She didn't know what to do, but she decided to be kind. She hadn't been to him, and he had already bought more for Hannah than Jack ever had with Emily or Ricky. She quickly snapped a picture of Hannah sleeping. Sharon laughed as she looked at it, Hannah, sprawled on her back, her arms out to the side, as she slept. It was almost as if she was on display, telling the world to look at her new outfit. Sharon pulled up his number, one she had reluctantly saved to her phone, and she took a deep breath as she typed out the message.

"Thank you for her Christmas outfit. She's been the talk of the day, and obviously, all of the attention has exhausted her," she typed and quickly hit the send button before she had a chance to reread and revise the text. She heard it send, along with the picture attachment, and she put down the phone to watch her sleeping daughter. She was tired too; the last few months had been exhausting, but she was about ready to finally start her new job. It felt great, now, getting settled and into a work routine. Sharon slowly inched her way back to the head of the bed where she rested her head on the pillows. She crossed her arms over her stomach and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how long she dozed, but a text message woke her.

"Merry Christmas, Sharon. Hannah looks like a beautiful angel there. I've thought about you, about last Christmas, often today. What a year it has been." She reread the message several times, waiting for him to send more, to finish his thought. That was it? What did all that mean? He wouldn't just end there, would he? He'd been thinking about them? It wasn't like she was going to admit she'd had thoughts of last Christmas too. She had, of Andy, in her hotel room, of the two of them, doing things she couldn't describe in the presence of her infant daughter. If Andy had been thinking about last Christmas, he'd been thinking about her, about them, about sleeping together. That hadn't been their first time, last Christmas; it also hadn't been their last. It had been a whirlwind of a day, a night, of a trip, almost an awkward time. He'd invaded her personal space, well, in more ways than one. Yes, he'd slept with her as she'd invited him to do so, but then, he hadn't left that day. That was something she hadn't thought through with the invitation, that inviting him to her beach hotel would also include him staying-staying all afternoon, evening, overnight, and into the next day. That had been almost too much for her, having a man around after they had had their fun. He'd wanted to eat with her, had even suggested a walk on the beach, but no, that had been too much. That had sounded like a relationship, not just a one-night stand or two consenting adults for the night. It had scared her, and she had tried to hide away from him, which was difficult in a hotel room. She'd sent him out each time they'd finished, and she rolled her eyes at that thought because they had enjoyed quite the time together. She'd avoided him at all costs on that trip, not wanting anything more than a good time, and she'd walked away from it, pregnant, with a permanent reminder of Andy Flynn. Sure, she couldn't pinpoint Hannah's conception on that day or night, but it had come from that week together, whether Christmas or New Year's Eve or somewhere in between. Andy had changed those holidays for her now, forever, and as she heard her text message alert, she had a feeling she knew who was sending her another message.

She sat up, almost wanting to deal with these text messages from Andy alert and awake. She looked to her phone and was pleasantly surprised to see that Gavin, not Andy, had sent her a message. It had now been 15 minutes since Andy had sent her that message, and her mind had been wandering the whole time. Was that really it? Was he going to leave it at that? He certainly was perplexing her. She was afraid that sending Andy the one picture of Hannah would appear to be an invitation to start a texting conversation, but thankfully, after a simple reply to her message, he hadn't sent her anything more. She refocused to read the message Gavin had sent her.

"Merry Christmas to my best friend! I'd call, but I don't want to pull you from your family, at least not today. I'll talk to you plenty, soon enough. Check your email because your Christmas gift is there. XOXO Gavin."

She read that message again, still not sure she was fully awake and switched over to check her email. What had he sent her over email? It must be a gift certificate of some sort. She'd sent him a framed photo of Hannah and herself, something, as she rolled her eyes, she felt he would like more than even the restaurant gift certificate she'd also included. He was not Hannah's father, but he certainly doted on her daughter like a father would. She watched as her email downloaded a few messages, the most recent one from him.

"Sharon, you will come up with a million reasons not to use this, and none of them are valid. I've covered all the bases, and just remember that "Uncle Gavin" is very resourceful. I expect you to use this, and I will be deeply offended if you don't. I would suggest talking to your parents and kids about this. I already did just that, because, as you know, your family loves me. I expect a Christmas picture of that baby. The one you sent as a gift is great, but I need my daily update."

Sharon scrolled down to see what he'd sent her, and she gasped when she read it. He'd included a plane ticket to Los Angeles for her, and it was dated two days from now. She groaned and shook her head. Yes, his birthday was coming up. Leave it to Gavin to have a New Year's Eve birthday. She hadn't forgotten; she couldn't forget. She was planning to send him his favorite expensive wine, but she hadn't ordered it yet. This "gift" he'd sent her for Christmas required a call, not just a text reply. She stood and checked on Hannah again, noting she was still sleeping. Sharon slipped out of the bedroom and into the hallway where she quickly called Gavin.

"A plane ticket!" she almost exclaimed when he answered.

"You're welcome," he said happily into the phone. "You, Missy, were not around for all of my birthday last year, and I'm not going to let you out of it this year. You were doing other things, or rather, other people that night."

"Gavin!" she scolded him for being so blunt. "Can we NOT discuss him?"

"Certainly, I'm happy to just talk about you and me. Yes, I might be selfish in that I sent you a plane ticket here to spend my birthday with me. Now, it's all been settled. While I love little Hannah, she's not invited. I already checked with your kids and parents. They all agreed you could use a little break, and Hannah will be just fine for two days with your parents. You said you aren't breastfeeding her, so that's not an issue. Your parents love her almost as much as you do. So, yes, you will get on a plane and get yourself to Los Angeles where I will not let you out of my sight. We will go to the spa, go to dinner, sit up talking all night, and we will do some shopping. That is your gift to me," he explained.

"Hmm," she nodded. "Yes, I can't wait to finance this trip."

"I didn't say anything about you financing it. I'm rolling in it, as we both know. I'm not ashamed to say it, and that's part of the trip. It's all on me," he explained.

"So," she gestured with her hand in the air, "explain to me how your birthday is you pampering me?" Sharon chuckled at the idea.

"We will both be pampered. I need you here to enjoy it with me, and I'll enjoy dressing you up while we shop and having someone to drink with me. It's going to be fabulous," he said. "No excuses. Hannah will be fine, and work isn't a factor. You were going to sit there in Phoenix the next few days, wasting away at that retirement village. You might be retired, but I'm not losing you to shuffleboard and bingo just yet."

Sharon burst out laughing, and she ran her hand across her head, "Hmm, sounds like quite the trip. I can't believe you did all of this. You really spoke to my parents?"

"Hmm, I did. I don't know why you are surprised. You know they consider me their personal attorney, and I know they told you they added Hannah to their will. I might not live near them, but I can offer advice when they need it. They are raving about my friend there in Phoenix to handle their affairs locally."

"Yes, they do sing your praises," she nodded. "I'll talk to my parents and see if we can work this out."

"Oh, no, no," he said quickly. "There is no 'work this out' type of excuse. It's worked out. They are on grandparent duty, and you are a single mom on the prowl. You will get on that plane, and I will meet you in my new sports car at the airport, my gift to myself. Ticket is non-refundable, so don't make me regret buying it."

"Thank you, Gavin," she smiled into the phone. "I'll see you in a couple days. I guess I should go and discuss my travel plans with my parents."

"You should," he told her. "Don't pack much because I'm sending you back with a full suitcase. Bye, Love," he said to her and hung up the phone.

Sharon leaned back against the wall. She just shook her head and smiled. She'd made a wonderful, lifelong friend in Gavin. He was a good man and loved her. She was going back to L.A. for a couple of days. It would be odd, going home, but it wasn't her home. As she thought about it, she nodded to herself. Yes, it would be good. She would enjoy her time with Gavin, and it would be nice for her parents to spend time with Hannah. She pushed herself off the wall and started down the hall, ready to discuss her travel plans with her parents, who apparently, knew more than she did.


	38. Chapter 38

"We have to get you some new clothing and back out there on the market," Gavin said as he pointed at Sharon now browsing around in the department store. Sharon paused, her hand on a dress she was looking at and eyed him.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You heard me," he looked at her over the top of the clothing rack and gestured at her. "Like I have told you before, do not let that ugly word 'retirement,' ugh," he said and grimaced, "go to your head. You aren't that old, and you certainly are not going to start acting like an old retired person. You are young and alive; you are going to get yourself together and get back out there."

"I don't want to date," she turned her nose up at him and shook her head. "I'm not interested in that."

"Well, you and I both know you don't have to really date people. In my opinion, there is more to the idea of getting back out there and dating. You need to just bring a guy home and have a good time."

She crossed her arms and narrowed her gaze, "You tried to give me advice like that before. I did some of that and look where it landed me. Need I remind you I have a four-month-old that is the result of your words of encouragement. I thought I was stupid for thinking about putting myself out there these last couple years. You've always been there to listen and encourage, but I'm done with that now. It's backfired many times, and while Hannah is absolutely wonderful, she is the result of your nudging me, again, to get back out there. The few men I've been with since Jack, you have known about each one, and with that, you should know none of those situations ended well."

"Hmm, I think you just haven't found the right person. You even told me last year during that carefree week you had with the lieutenant that your little arrangement was working with him. You ended that when you turned up pregnant; otherwise, who knows how long you might have carried out your 'friends with benefits' situation," he nodded to her.

"First, he was not my friend. He seemed like the safe choice, a man I knew from work who was not married, was not interested in anything long-term, but had the experience to see a one-night for what it was. Second, I was planning to end it BEFORE I found out I was pregnant with Hannah. Third-," she stopped when he touched her arm.

"Please," he rolled his eyes, "you were not anywhere near ending that. You told me how great it was. If you were thinking of ending it, it wasn't because you were bored; you were probably getting too attached. I know you, remember?"

"I was not attached," she scoffed. "He was, is," she corrected herself, "arrogant and not my type. It was just getting awkward, seeing him at work, and besides that, I did end up pregnant, so I had reason to end it."

"All the more reason, now," he winked, "that a year later, we need to get you back out there. You are in a new city, a new state, Sharon! Live it up. You have a new pool of college men there. Take one home," he nudged her.

She looked to him appalled, "There is no way I am going to take a college student home with me. Are you delusional? My son is that same age."

"No! You know me better than that. I wouldn't suggest that for you. Find a grown man, an experience man, college man, a professor," he winked. "I hope there are some close to your age. If he's a little younger," Gavin offered an almost flirty shrug, "so be it."

Sharon shook her head at him, "No, that's not appealing to me at all. I have an infant at home, let me remind you. She's maybe a little bit of a mood killer," she chuckled. "I can see it now. I have a man hanging over me at the door while I'm trying to dig out enough cash to pay some babysitter, who, mind you, is watching the scene-a divorced single mom bringing a man home for the night-so, I pay the babysitter, and as this man and I get into the mood, I pause to tell him I need to check on my late-in-life infant daughter before we can go further."

"Hmm, I don't see a problem. Just remember to use something or have him use something," he winked. "The mention of Hannah should be the reminder you both need. She's great, but let's not start on a brother or sister for her."

"You are HORRIBLE," Sharon swatted at him. "I don't need a man. I am just fine on my own, and I will certainly not be having another baby. I am old, remember? I cringe at the idea of a man seeing me again after Hannah did a number on me, which circles back to my being old. Getting back into shape is not what it used to be. No thank you to all of that."

"I'm not suggesting he move in with you!" Gavin grinned. "I just think he can help you out for a night," he winked. "It's not a bad thought. You enjoyed the suggestions of the same thing I've had in the past."

"Well, that's in the past, isn't it? I need to forget that and realize I have a new job and a new baby to raise. I need to focus on my career and family," she nodded.

"Oh, here we go again with that mantra," he grumbled and started to make a noise. "I've heard that before. Tsk, tsk, Sharon. Get out and live. It will be good for you and Hannah. She doesn't need to grow up with her mother hovering over every move. Your only interest cannot be your daughter. Like I said, I'm not suggesting you move in a guy, just maybe offer him room and board for the night."

"Great," she started to laugh, "now, you want me to ask them to pay. Thanks, Gavin. That really puts a twist on this."

"You know what I mean," he rolled his eyes. "A couple of hours of fun late at night puts Mom in a better mood. All work and no play," he winked. "Let's also think about this-you always say it's not the right timing. A couple years ago, you told me Ricky was still in the house, so you couldn't bring a man home. We found an alternative. You met at hotels or their places. You cut things off with the lieutenant because you were pregnant with his kid," he nodded to her. "Fine, that was a little unforeseen complication, but what are you going to do now? You cannot hide behind your infant daughter for the next 18 years, Sharon. You don't want to get involved? Fine, plenty of men are okay with that. You found a couple who were and ended it for different reasons. I am sure you can find another man who would be find with a casual thing. Don't tell me Hannah needs to be older and out of the house. Right now, she has no idea Mommy is having her own play date," he winked, and Sharon groaned. "Besides, at your age now, you wait until she's out of the house, and it's going to be really tacky to tell the guy you need to take out your dentures or something before he can continue."

"Stop," she raised her arm at him and stared at him. The two stared at each other a few moments before they both started to laugh. Gavin ended their moment by clapping his hands together.

"Where should we start? I love little Hannah, but she did a number on you," he said. Sharon groaned and nodded. "Things are just, just," he paused for the right word, "well, they are all over the place. They need to be accentuated to get you, you hot mama, ready for action."

"I am not going to get 'ready for action' as you said," she gestured with her hands. Gavin took her hand and started walking away from the dress Sharon had been looking at there in the store.

"Please," Gavin waved her off with his free hand, "this is my birthday present, playing dress up with my very best friend. Women have the best clothing choices, and I'm going to spend whatever necessary to get you feeling good about yourself and looking spectacular again. You know money is no object for me. I have no one in my life right now, so you, my friend, get my undivided attention and unlimited credit card usage. Let's go. We're starting in the lingerie department for a complete overhaul."

"My bras and underwear are fine; I have good taste. Besides, no one sees that," she pointed out to him.

"And, that's a crying shame," he sighed. "The designers want to show off their clothing, and don't tell me after pushing out a baby, your lingerie is fine. Nope," he shook his head. "Let's get started."

"I don't know why I even flew out here to see you," she gave him an irritated glance.

"Hmm, you love me and know I'm only speaking the truth. Someone has to watch out for you, and lucky for you, it's me-a rich, stylish, best friend."

Two hours later, and very much ready for a break, the two sat down for lunch. They were quiet while they examined the menu at the small bistro in the shopping area. Surrounding Gavin were four bags, full of new things for Sharon. Sharon had other ideas, and she had two bags, one with a few new things for Hannah and one with a new coat for Ricky. He'd mentioned needing one, but hated shopping, so she'd done it for him, rolling her eyes now as she thought about it. She'd shopped for her kids-her favorite people, and Gavin would argue he'd shopped for his favorite person.

"Did you decide on a wine yet?" he looked over the menu toward her. She was studying the salads. She looked up and eyed him.

"Wine?" she asked.

"I'll do it myself. Mama does need to get out more," he winked. "Yes, wine. You can drink it again. I hope you haven't forgotten. Those months you couldn't drink it are over, remember?"

"Sorry," she chuckled. "I was looking at the salads. I guess I just hadn't thought about wine with lunch."

"Oh, bite your tongue! It's my birthday weekend, and wine is most definitely involved. I will thank you again for the case you sent me for my birthday. As I showed you, it has the prominent spot in my wine collection."

"I'm glad you like it," Sharon grinned at him. "I called the vineyard and told them you'd bought several things from them in the past."

"We'll open a bottle when we get back to my place later," he told her. "Now, if you have studied the menu for your entrée, let's move to a new topic."

"What would that be? If you are planning on sitting here discussing my wardrobe, let's not discuss that," she smirked.

"No, I want the latest update on the baby daddy. Last update I had from you was after he found you and left all those gifts for Hannah. What's the latest? You've been avoiding the topic this visit."

She closed her menu and put it on the table while she looked to him, now slightly irritated. "I'm not avoiding anything. There is nothing to tell. You and I both know he's legally not involved. I have the paperwork, paperwork you drew up and filed, to prove it. Actually, it's been rather refreshing. I haven't heard much, well, really nothing from him. I sent him one picture of her on Christmas, and that's been it."

"You sent him a picture of my baby?" Gavin asked, bringing his hand to his chest as if he was horrified.

Sharon chuckled and looked down at her plate, where her fingers played with the fork, "I was trying to do something kind. I know I have been extremely rude to him. She was wearing one of the outfits he'd bought for her, and I took a picture of her sleeping. That was it. I told him she'd had a great day."

He raised his eyebrows, "What did he say?"

"Not much, actually," she nodded. "He replied, and with that, he didn't say much. He wished me a Merry Christmas and said it had been a year."

Gavin gestured with his hand toward Sharon, "Let me see that. Do you have the message? What else did he say?"

"That's it," Sharon shrugged. "Here," she pulled her phone out, pulled up her messages, and she handed it to Gavin. "Really, that's all he said."

"You sound surprised," he eyed her again. "What else would you like him to say?"

"No, it's not that. I mean, I suppose I expected him to say more. I just find his behavior odd. He hasn't contacted me at all. I initiated that with the picture, and even then, that's all he said."

"Well, that's what you want," Gavin explained.

"Oh, I am well aware. It's refreshing, but I guess I've just been walking around on pins and needles waiting for him to contact me constantly. I am not sure what he wants," she frowned.

"Sounds like he wants to be part of Hannah's life," he nodded to her. "He seems to be showing he isn't a total disaster."

"Well, I still have a bone to pick with him about his gifts," she enunciated the words gifts, and that had Gavin raising his eyes at her.

"What? What's wrong with his gifts?" he asked. "You told me he got her some large toy thing and some clothing, which is a nice gesture even if it's not designer clothing."

"Hmm, yes, but I didn't see, not until I was opening her gifts at Christmas, that he'd put a check in one of the boxes," she sighed.

Gavin raised his eyebrows, "Another check? That's not a bad thing. Little Princess is costing you, and that is only going to increase as I introduce her to designer labels."

"Stop," she started to chuckle and shook her head. "Don't make me laugh right now. I'm irritated he keeps giving me money."

"Let me get this straight," he nodded. "Jack was total trash for many, many reasons, but for one thing, he walked out on you and the kids. He took every single dime of money you had, not once, but a few times, and he has never bought anything for the kids. You have paid for private school, dance lessons, baseball teams, prom dresses, graduation parties, college, fraternity dues-the list goes on and on, but you've paid for it all. Jack's garbage. We know that. Now, the lieutenant is giving you money, without being asked, and you have a bone to pick with him?"

"It's complicated, and you know it," she pointed at him. "I took care of the legalities before she was born. I made sure he was not tied to us. I can take care of her, just as I took care of Emily and Ricky. I'm doing even better now. I make more money, and I'm financially secure. I don't see why he keeps giving her money."

"He's maybe just trying to be kind? Look, I don't know him that well, but he's a decent guy. The case I had with him, he was normal. We know he's not bad on the eyes. At least your daughter has that going for her, good genes from her mommy and daddy," he winked. "Take the money and do whatever you want. How much did he give you this time?"

"He wrote a check for a thousand dollars," she rolled her eyes.

"We just spent more than that on your mommy makeover," Gavin smirked. "I don't see the problem. Hannah is growing like crazy, and good quality costs money, for the mom and the baby."

"My daughter does not need to wear designer baby clothing, Gavin," she rolled her eyes. "I've told you that before. Sure, I am fine spending a little more on things for her; I don't have to buy her the same sleepers and dresses you see in every store, but she doesn't need a $100 sleeper or something," she scoffed.

"So, you really plan to tear up the check?" he asked.

"No, I'm going to tell him to take it back. I've tried that before, and he keeps giving me money, whether cash or a check. I'm going to end this," she nodded.

"When is this great phone call going to take place?" he asked, casually as he sat back in his chair.

"Not on the phone," she shook her head. "I'm doing it in person, so he knows I'm irritated. I haven't decided."

"Look, you aren't going to overthink this your whole trip. Either deal with it now, or I will," he told her.

She stared at him, and he stared back. The two knew each other and knew neither would easily back down. Finally, she rolled her eyes, and she picked up her phone again.

"I have something to discuss with you," she typed, her message simple and to the point. She put the phone down and looked back at Gavin, his eyes in wonder at what she'd said. She shrugged and offered nothing.

A few moments later, her phone alerted her to a new message. Gavin tried to look over the table at it, but she put her hand over the phone and picked it up. She looked to the message.

"I can call you soon if you want, or you can text the question to me. I'm at work right now, but I can step out," he told her.

"I will be at LAX Sunday afternoon between 4:30 and 5:00 PM if you can meet to discuss it in person," she typed and replied to Andy. She turned her phone to show Gavin the message.

He raised his eyebrows, "You are wanting to meet him at the airport?" Gavin started to chuckle at that. "You know, I know this is my birthday weekend, but I will even be okay with you ditching me a couple hours to meet the guy for a cup of coffee."

"That is precisely why I am not meeting him," she frowned. "I don't want to meet with him, but this money issue has to stop. I'm not interested in being seen in this town with him. I just need to speak to him, in person, and if I have him come to the airport, I have an excuse to leave."

He shook his head, "You just don't want to be alone with him. "You don't trust your instincts."

"That's not true at all," she scoffed. "The checks-" she drifted off and didn't complete her thought.

"Look, Sharon, it's me. You were physically attracted to the guy. That's not a horrible thing. Who know what would have continued had you not gotten pregnant. Your arrangement was working, and that week, you looked like you were pretty happy about it. It's okay to have an attraction, a physical attraction."

"I am not getting involved with that again," she rolled her eyes. "I've told you that. We had our moment. It's over. He knew what it was just as much as I did. He's been dating plenty. He told me a few times while I was pregnant."

"All the more reason to get you back out there too," Gavin nodded. "We'll find you a college man."

Sharon's phone went off again, and she picked it up, almost forgetting that she had sent Andy that message about meeting. She picked it up and sighed at his message.

"The airport? If you are traveling, I'm happy to pick you up and go somewhere to talk. That place is a zoo," he said.

"I don't have much time. I can meet outside security. There are plenty of coffee shops, but I can give you more specific information after I figure out where I will need to be," she quickly typed.

Andy replied right away, "I'll be there. Just send me the details."

"Well," Gavin asked when she put the phone on the table.

"Well," she shrugged. "He is about to have another thousand dollars back in his account that he can spend on his next date."

Gavin rolled his eyes, "Well, if you aren't going to spend a thousand dollars today, I might as well spend another thousand. My last case, well," he shrugged, "I won't even tell you what my cut was, but let's just say we are going to have every college co-ed and professor eyeing you when you step onto that campus next week."


	39. Chapter 39

She was prompt; he had to give her that, which was a relief because he wasn't sure she would even show. He'd been here an hour already, almost expecting her to have some excuse like she arrived, but he hadn't. Andy wasn't going to take that chance, so he'd come early, but he'd only recently gotten something to drink. He couldn't believe she'd wanted to meet with him. The entire situation was odd. He had no idea she was passing through Los Angeles, but he was glad she'd reached out to him, whatever the reason. He had to admit he had hoped to see Hannah with her, bu he also knew that would have been too perfect, an afternoon date with Sharon and his daughter, but still, he was here. Sharon was here, and he was going to get a few moments with her.

"Sharon, hi, it's good to see you," Andy stood as she walked up to him. She looked really amazing to him, dressed in jeans that fit her figure perfect, a scoop neck black sweater with a long silver necklace, and black boots. She was pulling her carry-on bag, which was bright red. He stood to greet her, not sure how to embrace her. It felt odd to stick out his hand to shake hers. It felt odd to him to do nothing. A kiss on the cheek or full embrace felt strange too, even though he'd created a baby with this woman, so he opted to step toward her and give her a quick embrace, almost a side hug. She seemed almost surprised at the gesture and didn't quickly reciprocate it, making it awkward, but she did in the end. Andy tried to play it off, as if it wasn't weird or odd, but he was sure it had to look odd to anyone watching them.

"Ahh, Andy," she wiped the loose strands of hair from her face. That's when he also noted she had some of her hair pulled back, not a look he'd seen on her often, but it looked nice, good, to him. She looked great in any setting. "Thank you for showing up here."

"Sure," he gestured to the table he'd already claimed. There, he had two cups of coffee waiting. He nodded for her to sit, "I didn't know how much time you had, so I ordered you a cup of coffee. I know you mentioned not liking all the coffee options nowadays, just tea or black coffee, so I hope it's okay."

"Oh, ahhh," she looked around and then down at the coffee on the table. "Thank you. I can't take it beyond the security checkpoint," she pointed out to him. He gestured and held her chair for her.

"Well," he gave her a small smile and slight shrug, "all the more reason to sit down and enjoy the coffee right here."

"Right," she said as she let out her breath. She sat and nodded to him. He moved to the chair adjacent to hers and sat, turning to face her.

"So, how is Hannah?" Andy asked as he picked up his cup of coffee. He was trying to relax, trying to tread slowly with Sharon. At the mention of her daughter's name, Sharon couldn't help but smile.

"She's great, really great," Sharon nodded and looked down at her coffee. She now had both hands on her cup, and she stared into the coffee as if she would find an answer there. "She's really starting to smile, not that she didn't before, but it's all the time and is such a happy baby; her eyes just sparkle and make you want to smile. She's not rolling over yet, but I think it will be soon. The frustration from it is evident, which is the only time she doesn't really smile," she smiled slightly and glanced up to find Andy staring back at her, taking in every single word. He couldn't get enough. "Her grip is coming along too. She is reaching for anything she can get and putting everything in her mouth. She's hit herself in the face a few times with her little rattles."

"I think about her constantly," Andy said quietly, his voice sincere. Sharon looked to him and then back to her coffee.

Sharon didn't address his comment, but instead nodded and said, "I have your check for you. I don't need it or want it."

Andy sat back, surprised, and he raised his eyebrows at her, the reason for the get-together now brought to light. She didn't look at him, but instead, she continued to look at her coffee. She finally looked toward him and found him sitting back in his chair now, his arms crossed. He didn't look mad or upset, but instead, he just appeared to be letting her talk. The fact he didn't react, nor comment seemed to irritate Sharon because she waited for him to speak, and when he didn't, she moved to her purse to return his check.

"Here," she said as she pulled it from her purse. He could tell she had it right there on top, easily accessible, because she didn't have to dig for it. "Please take your money."

"I don't want it," he raised his hands in defense. "Look, that's for Hannah. Please use it for whatever you might need."

"I don't need anything from you," she gestured for him to take it. He continued to sit there, and finally, she put the check on the table. "You cannot keep giving me money."

"Why not?" Andy asked, finally engaging her in the conversation. "What's wrong with the money? It's for her. I don't care how you use it. I'm not asking. I'm trying to help, to take care of her in the only way I can right now, the only way you will allow. I'd love to do more, but this is all I can do or would allow," he rolled his eyes.

"I'm independent and can raise her on my own," she told him.

"Oh, stop, Sharon," he finally said. "It's a check. Put it in the bank for her if you don't want to use it. Call it her car fund for all I care. I want her to have it. Have your parents given her money? Has Gavin? I'm guessing the answer to both questions is probably yes, and that's what is ridiculous. What's the difference? You'll take money from them, but not from me? We all love Hannah. Is it so wrong she has money behind her for the future?"

Sharon stared back at him and rolled her eyes, "She doesn't need anything."

"Maybe she doesn't need anything now, Sharon, but she will. Maybe she will be a ballerina like her sister. Maybe she will want to go to some expensive college. Save the money for her. I've tried to play by your rules, but it's getting a little frustrating. I'm here, trying to do the right thing by her, by you, and you continue to jump on me. Jack, I know that dirt bag ran off with your money. He left you alone with your kids to foot the bill for everything. You stayed married to him after all that. I'm here, wanting to have a relationship with my daughter, the opposite of what Jack has done, and I'm trying to give you-give her-money for the future, and I'm still the bad guy. I don't get it, Sharon. I'm trying so hard to do right by her, but you are against it. I'm not trying to take her from you; I just want her to know her dad loves her and will support her too. I've left you alone. I just want a relationship, and yet, I'm the bad guy. You know, I even understand why Sandra hates me. I really do. I wish she would see I've changed, but I put her through it when I was drinking. I was a horrible husband and father. I get it why she hates me. You," he nodded, "I've never done anything to get you to mistrust me, to hate me. I was good with our relationship arrangement. We were having a good time. You were fun even, sweet and sexy," he started to list things about her he had enjoyed. "I know Hannah was a shock, but what happened to that Sharon? That is a side of you I never imagined, but I got to see it. I liked that fun side, and yet, it's gone. I've tried to only support what you want, but you have this hatred for me."

Sharon sighed and looked up while Andy sat back in his chair again. She looked at him, "I'm not going to cash the check, and for what it's worth, I don't hate you."

"Fine," he shrugged. "I'll just open an account I'll designate for her. I'll keep putting money into it, and when she's 18, it will be a really nice graduation gift," he threw a smile at her. Her eyes widened. He continued, "Look, I am not asking you tell her the money is from me. I don't care about that, but I want to do right by my own daughter, at least to start trying. It took me time to get my head on and realize she is just an amazing blessing, but I'm all Team Hannah now. I want to do anything I can for her. I'd give my life for her. You, Sharon, are amazing. You brought Hannah into this world, and I will never be able to thank you enough. I just want to try and help. So fine," he shrugged. "I'll keep the money. Maybe by the time she's 18, she can buy a brand-new car with cash. That's fine with me. Then, it will be hard to explain why some random guy is giving her money. Of course, by then, nothing would make me happier to have my daughter know who I am, but all I can do is take one day at a time."

"I'm really not trying to be difficult," she said quietly before she looked up and met his gaze. She rolled her eyes slightly and said, "I'm really not."

"And, I'm not trying to be a problem. I'm trying to help. You called me to return money I want you to have for our daughter. Call it what you want, but she is. I'm over any piece of paper saying otherwise. I love her with everything I have. I'm trying not to be a crappy father. I kept telling myself that was all I was, but reality hit me like a freight train, and I understand that I can do better. People are quick to say blood doesn't have to make a family, and in the same breath, I'm saying that a piece of paper doesn't mean I don't love my kid. I was stupid to sign that, and I'll keep saying it until you believe it. I think I've kept my word since I found you. I told you I would give you space. I've done that. I've allowed you to contact me. I'd always love to hear more, to get more pictures of Hannah, but I've held back and let you do this on your terms. I appreciate you allowing me into your lives, and that's why I'm really trying to give you space now, Sharon, but I'm not a bad man. I'm a decent guy who is trying. I've been trying for years with my other kids, and I'll continue to try."

"I've never said you were awful," Sharon looked over at him and tried to relax her posture. She was tense; she could feel it. "So much of this is based on my desire to keep Hannah safe."

"That's all I want too," Andy gestured with his hands. "After her safety, I want her to be loved, to feel loved. I want to be part of that, to love her. I know I can do that; I already love her. Money seems like a greedy way to show love, but she needs it too. She will need money; you will need money for things, and I want to help. Now, if that check sits here, I'll do something with it. I'm used to that from my other kids. I'm used to making deposits into college accounts for them. That's what I could do and did when they were younger. If that's what you want, so be it. I can open an account, or you can take that money. You can go blow it on new clothes for yourself; I don't care. I trust you, as her mother, to use it for anything you need. I know you love her too; we can both love her, and just because I love her doesn't mean I'm going to take her from you. Regardless of how you've treated me, you are a good mom, a wonderful mom."

Sharon listened and then glanced at her watch. She shook her head at Andy, "Look, I am going to have to go. I have a flight to catch. I wanted to address this check you put in her Christmas gifts while I was in town, face to face."

"Where's Hannah?" Andy asked. "I've wanted to ask that since you arrived." He ignored her comment about the check, as they'd already gone rounds discussing it.

Sharon gave him a small smile as she stood. It was hard not to smile at the mention of Hannah, "She's with my parents. Gavin flew me out here for his birthday," she rolled her eyes slightly, the lighter topic easier to discuss. "We spent the last couple days together shopping and just relaxing. That's Gavin," she sighed. "He spent thousands on me to celebrate his birthday. He loves Hannah, but this wasn't a trip for her. It was a nice break for me, and Gavin insisted on buying me a new wardrobe."

Andy nodded and looked at her. When he met her gaze, he shrugged, "Well, you look great," he nodded to her. "Back to Gavin-You let your best friend spoil you, spend his money on you because he cares about you,-he loves you, yet, you are doing everything in your power to tell me I can't do the same for you and Hannah, that I can't spend money on people I care about in my life. He made eye contact with her and could tell that hit her. That comment struck a nerve and was something she couldn't dispute.

Sharon was silent as the two stared at each other, just momentarily. Then, she started to move quickly to gather her things. She repeated, "I have a flight to catch." She busied herself, collecting her bag and purse. As she stood with her things, Andy called to her again. He'd sat up in his seat and now was resting his elbows on the table.

"Sharon," he said as she gripped her bag to walk away. She turned slightly to face him, "Look, could you at least promise me you will think about bringing Hannah to L.A. the next time you are in town? Please, Sharon. I know you will be back. I'd love to see her, to see you. I'd love pictures if you want to send them, text or email. I'd love any information about her, anything Sharon. Please think about bringing her and about sharing more with me. I love my daughter."

Sharon took a moment and swallowed, trying not to show a lot of emotion. She reached for her cup of coffee and in the same motion, she picked up the check too, Andy's check. Her eyes met his, just briefly, and she gave him a single nod before she said, "I'll think about it. Thank you for the coffee."

"I hope you will, Sharon. Be safe flying home. Kiss Hannah for me, and I hope we can talk again soon," he said as he stood. Sharon, before he tired to hug her again, nodded and moved quickly out of the coffee shop. He stood there and sighed as he watched her. She'd taken the check, and he hoped she would cash it. Better yet, she'd agreed to think about bringing Hannah the next time she came to town. There would be a next time; he knew it.


	40. Chapter 40

Court was never fun. He'd take a dead body in front of him any day of the week. Court, though, was part of the job, something they all had to do, and yet, it still surprised him to walk down the hall of the courthouse, finished with his own testimony for the day, and see Sharon of all people at the other end of the hall.

It was now early February, and he hadn't seen her for almost exactly a month, a long agonizing month. He'd really hoped his telling her off, so to speak, would knock some sense into her. It hadn't done any damage, at least, and if anything, some good had definitely come out of their discussion. Just three days after she'd gone home, Sharon had sent Andy a text late on a Wednesday afternoon. He was at work and didn't get to check his phone right away, but he wanted to kick himself when he did. He certainly had not expected to see a text from Sharon of all people, but he was happy to see it, as well as what she said.

 _"_ _I did as you suggested and opened a college account for Hannah. It was the logical thing to do," she had typed to him. It was a simple message, with no greeting or anything else, but he could see he was breaking through to her, slowly, but he was. He was hopefully convincing her he was genuine and wanting only the best for them._

 _"_ _I really appreciate you telling me. Would you send me the deposit information-routing number or account number, whatever I need to make deposits?" Andy replied around 6:00 when he finally had a moment to get to his phone. Pope had the team in computer training that day, a new system they were all being required to use. It was the last thing he wanted to be doing on that day, but it was almost 6:00 before the team finished. He hoped Sharon would reply. She was not exactly sending him a lot of text messages, and he realized with especially this message, she could easily ignore his request._

 _Thankfully, she did reply later that evening, and she gave him what he needed. In addition to the account information, she'd also added, "Do not feel like you have to do anything. I have a feeling this request is falling on deaf ears, but I can handle this. I have a set amount going into the account from my new job."_

 _"_ _I just want her to have a secure future, and I want to lessen the burden on you. Thanks for letting me know. I hope you are both doing well, and I hope your new job is what you want," he said and hoped she would tell him anything, any tiny detail about Hannah, about their life in Arizona._

 _"_ _Work is refreshing. Hannah is fine," she sent, and then immediately, she added, "She is determined to roll over, but hasn't yet. Goodnight, Andy."_

So, he'd left it at that, and that had been the last he'd heard from her over the course of January. It was now the first week of February, and he almost stopped in his tracks as he walked down the hallway of the courthouse. Sharon. She was here, back in Los Angeles and right in front of him. It was a Thursday afternoon, and suddenly, his day in court wasn't seeming so bad because he, otherwise, might not-would not-have run into Sharon.

Andy continued on his path toward her, walking slowly, as if he was trying not to spook her. She was clearly here for work; she was dressed in a beautiful black skirt suit and had black heels to match. She was carrying her purse and a briefcase bag. Above all, she was hard to miss; her gorgeous hair hung down her back, and he could recognize her from a mile away. There was just something about her. He couldn't see her face because she was facing away from him, talking to one of the prosecutors. He'd seen that guy in the building before, Marshall, or something. He'd never had a case with that guy, but generally, with homicide, he worked with one of just a small few of prosecutors. Sharon still didn't see him as he got closer, but he could tell the two were discussing something important, so he hung back to let them finish. He nodded to a couple of detectives who walked by, this place almost as busy as the hallways of the LAPD at times. Sharon was now just a few feet from him; he'd wait.

Andy leaned up against a wall and put his hands in his pockets as he waited. Sharon appeared flustered, which was not something he was used to seeing with her, at least where work was concerned. No, he was used to seeing her flustered around him, but this was different. This, the courthouse, is normally where she was cutthroat and would shine, but today, something was off. The prosecutor nodded, while Sharon spoke to him. She gestured with her free hand a couple of times, and as the conversation seemed to draw to an end, he watched the guy, Marshall, put his hand on Sharon's arm and pat it, almost in a reassuring manner. Sharon just nodded, again, because he couldn't see her facial expressions, and Marshall walked away. It was then Sharon turned slightly toward him, toward the elevator, and their eyes met.

Andy pushed off the wall to walk toward her. She kept her eyes on him as he did, and he held back a small chuckle noting they were dressed almost the same. Now that he could see her from the front, he noticed she had on a dark gray blouse to go with her black suit. He also had on a gray dress shirt and black suit, topped with a black and gray striped tie. They looked like they had planned their wardrobe. Sharon had her purse on her shoulder and her briefcase clutched in front of her. She gave a slight shake of her head as Andy approached, clearly surprised to see him. Thankfully, she didn't scowl, roll her eyes, or walk away, so he took that as a sign of progress.

"Hi," he said softly and casually as he approached her. She looked him up and down, noting his professional appearance too, and she nodded.

"Hi," she said and looked down at her briefcase. "I'm in town for court."

He nodded, "Yeah, I saw you talking to that ADA, Marshall, right?"

She pursed her lips and nodded, "Yes, he's an idiot. He has no clue what he's doing and derailed the case."

Andy ran his hand over the back of his neck and pursed his own lips. He looked back at her and noted she was looking around at the courthouse scene. There were a lot of people still walking around, as it was now just after 4:00. He looked back at her and saw she was fidgeting.

"I'm sorry to hear that. There are plenty of idiot lawyers, both sides of the aisle. I guess I don't have to tell you that," he let out a low chuckle. He looked to Sharon and noticed she had given him a quick nod and a low hum. "Say, I know it's busy around here with plenty of prying eyes. Do you want to get a drink?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at him, and she changed her stance as she gestured at him. "You are asking me about getting a drink?"

"Yeah," he looked to her a bit surprised at her reaction. He shrugged, "Looks like you've had a long day. I've had a long day too. I was testifying in a murder trial here today too. I'm inviting you to get a drink. You look like I've suggested something awful. Now, I'm guessing part of your plan was not to see me while in town, and I'm sorry if that backfired. I'm not stalking you; I had no idea you were here. I am just as surprised to see you, but now that I have, I'm inviting you for a drink."

"No," she paused to look at him. "It's just," she shook her head, "you're an alcoholic. Are you drinking?"

"Wait, no!" Andy exclaimed and then dropped his head. He looked at her and let out a chuckle when their eyes met. He shook his head again, "I'm not laughing in mocking way or to make you think I take drinking lightly. Look, that was just a phrase, like a 'want to just get out of here and talk' question, you know? I know you like wine. I'll take you wherever you want. I go out with Provenza all the time. I saw you in that bar back on that stupid road trip. I promise a bar or anywhere else where they serve alcohol isn't an issue. I'm not drinking, haven't been for years."

"Oh," she rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. Again, I have a history with alcoholics, alcoholic idiotic lawyers to be exact, who aren't really into sobriety."

He nodded, "Yeah, well, I am a man of my word, on many things," he said as he looked at her, trying to catch her gaze. "I don't want to let people down, and one thing I can do for myself is take one day at a time. I can't promise I'll always be sober, but I want to be. If you are free, I'd like to take you for a drink. I know you like a good glass of wine and I'll get my usual cranberry soda. Come on; I'm buying."

Her eyes flew up too, "Seriously, cranberry juice?"

He gave her an odd look, "Yeah, why? That's been my drink of choice for years."

"I never noticed it," she shook her head.

He offered a small shrug, "Well, I mean, it's not like we've spent much time together anywhere, and what time we have been together," he caught her glance, and she looked away, "we were busy with other things; we weren't having drinks. Still, though, I don't see why that matters."

She looked to the floor and shook her head as she spoke, "Nothing. That's just what my dad likes to drink. He's not much of a drinker. My mom and I enjoy wine. He has always enjoyed cranberry juice."

"So, instead of standing here with members of the LAPD watching us talk, how about we get a drink?" he asked again. "Wait, is Hannah here? Did you bring her?" He looked to her with a hopeful expression, and she frowned.

"No, she's with my parents again. With this being a work trip, I didn't want to try and bring her. I flew in last night and go home tomorrow. I taught my two classes yesterday morning before traveling. They have a project to work on since I'm missing class tomorrow. It's not ideal, but it is what it is. I had to be here to testify," she nodded to herself.

"Yeah," he ran his hand over his face. "I wish you would have brought her, but I understand. You know, in the future, I'm just offering my help. Sharon, I hope you know I'd never do anything to harm her, and it would be my greatest joy to spend time with her. I have so many vacation days I'm just dying to use for Hannah." Sharon just looked around, listening to him, but trying to avoid conversation on the topic of Hannah. Andy asked again, "Drink? You said you were going home tomorrow, so unless you have somewhere to be, please?"

"I do need to shake off this case. I can't believe how badly it went today," she explained.

"Well, I'm all ears," Andy gestured for her to walk in front of him. "I have my car here. Do you have a rental?"

"No," she said, not exactly giving him an answer to the getting drinks question, but her movement to walk in front of him seemed to be answer enough. "I took a taxi over here this morning. I really didn't think I needed a car with my hotel having an airport shuttle."

He walked next to her as they waited on the elevator, and he turned to her, "Would you like to change first? I'm fine in my suit, but if you would like to change, I can take you to your hotel."

She shook her head, "I think I just need to forget about this case. I'd really rather not go to any of the local LAPD watering holes around here. My hotel has a nice bar area. I ate dinner there late last night when I got in from my flight. Ironic, that I lived in LA so long, but I have no desire to go anywhere, and it doesn't feel like home."

"You're agreeing to getting a drink," he gave her a small smile. "I'll go anywhere, so the hotel bar is more than okay with me."

"I'm staying near the airport," she told him. "I'll point it out."

The two were quiet in the elevator, but it was also full of others heading to the parking garage. After their short walk, they reached the parking area, and Andy nodded for her to walk with him down the aisle. He glanced at her, "My car is just over there." They walked, and her shoes echoed in the garage as they did. Sharon cleared her throat, but otherwise, there was silence between them. Andy kept causally glancing at her, wanting to kick himself for not offering to hold her briefcase, but then he nodded.

"I unlocked it as we were walking. It's open," he pointed to the car.

Sharon looked to him, confusion on her face, and she gestured to the car, "Whose car is this? I thought you had that, umm, older car."

He shook his head and gave her a small smile, "It's mine. I bought a new car not too long ago. Get in, and I'm sure you can smell the new car scent," he winked. As he said that, he sprang into action to open her door, almost forgetting his manners. Sharon was surprised at that, but she just gave him a small nod as she sat down in the car. He walked around to the driver seat and noted she was looking around in the car.

"It's nice," she said after he started the car. She clarified it then, "It's quite an upgrade, but why the new car? I thought you were attached to your old car. I didn't notice it in Flagstaff. I suppose I never did see you with your car."

He shrugged slightly as he backed out and started out of the garage. He turned toward her, "There are things more important in life. Honestly, I've been thinking about it a long time. You probably won't believe this, but I felt badly that I had to pick you up at the hospital and take you home in my old car. It was a piece of junk, even if I had some emotional attachment to it. It wasn't exactly safe anymore, and I just realized that I needed something better if I was ever going to be around Hannah or you. I couldn't stand the idea of possibly spending any time with Hannah in that old car. It wasn't safe for her, and I know it didn't meet your standard, which is reasonable. It was junk. What, was I going to put a car seat in the back of that junk?" he chuckled quietly. "Now," he nodded, "knowing you picked up and moved, I'm glad to have it. I never thought you would move, but since you have, I'm glad to have something nice and new that I won't have to worry will break down on me, that is if you will maybe let me visit sometime."

Sharon just listened as he spoke. Finally, she looked over at him, "You buying this car and mentioning spending time with Hannah-are you trying to see her for weekends? You have no legal right to her, so going after visitation on weekends-" she paused. Andy jumped in quickly.

"No, I can't believe you would jump to that," he said, slightly irritated. "I'm not trying to take her from you. This has never been about me trying to take her from you. I'd just like to see her, to be part of her life. A girl can have a lot worse things in life. She has two parents who want to love her. New car plus me does not equal wanting to take Hannah. It's just a means of transportation, a way to get from L.A. to hopefully Flagstaff."

Sharon just nodded and turned to look out the window. The silence was back, and it was making things awkward. Finally, Andy spoke again, "What about me makes you so nervous?"

Sharon looked up, as she didn't realize she was looking at her suit. She turned her head toward Andy and found that while he was driving, his attention and eyes were focused on her, awaiting an answer.

"You don't make me nervous," she said with a slight annoyance in her voice.

Andy started to laugh and shook his head while he tapped the steering wheel with his finger, "Really? You know, I've been a detective a long time, a really long time. I have a pretty good eye fishing out details in people. You, Sharon, are nervous around me, and I'd like to know why. You're sitting there, fidgeting in your seat, playing with the hem of your suit jacket, and you keep shifting your legs to turn toward me and then instantly back toward the window. You are nervous, and I'd really like to know what makes you so nervous around me?"

Sharon finally let out a long sigh and cleared her throat. He watched her cross her arms, and she spoke, but she didn't look at him, "I don't know if I can trust you. That makes me nervous."

"Trust me, really?" Andy asked, clearly surprised at her answer. "Sharon, I hope you can trust me. What have I done to suggest I couldn't be trusted? All I have wanted is to be there for you and Hannah, to show you that I'm your biggest supporter. I have backed off these last two months, letting you just run the show from Arizona. I want to trust you, to trust that you're going to allow me to see our daughter. More than anything, I don't want you to ever think you can't trust me. What you see is what you get. I'm a recovering alcoholic who works long hours. I care deeply for my family, even if every single relationship there is a mess," he said as he eyed her. "I'm loyal and honest. I tell it like it is. I want to be around you and Hannah. Period. I can't make you trust me, but I certainly don't know what I've done to raise doubt."

Sharon sighed and shook her head, "I can't explain it. You asked, and I think that's the reason. There's nothing you have done. I have trust issues, but that's what it is."

"You aren't like this around others," he gestured to her. "It seems to be just around me. I think there's more there."

"And, I think you need to maybe just drop me off and go our own ways," she said as she looked over at him.

He sighed, "Look, I'm sorry. I really do want to sit and talk. I'd really enjoy that. We've both had a crappy day. Let's just start over, okay? You were good at the offer of a free drink, so, please, allow me," he looked to her with a hopeful glance.

"One drink," she nodded. "I have plans later with Gavin for dinner, and I would like to change for that."

"One drink," he nodded as he repeated it and added, "I mean, one drink for you. I'll just get a cranberry juice," he flashed a grin and a wink.

It was almost another half hour later before the two were inside the hotel and seated in the bar area. The hotel was large, full of travelers there on business and pleasure. This particular hotel seemed to cater to the business traveler with a full bar, restaurant, and several different conference rooms. It was grand. Andy looked around as they were seated, as he'd never been to this hotel. He took that as a good sign, that he'd never had a murder call out here. They were handed drink menus, which Sharon started to look over, but Andy put down and looked at Sharon.

"You're staring," she said after a few moments. Andy, startled, and surprised that he was staring, shook his head and apologized.

"Sorry," he lightly chuckled.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked.

"No," he offered with a small smile. "Couldn't help but stare. We're almost matching today," he nodded to their clothing choices. "Some might think we work for the FBI or something, but we are both dressed too nicely to work for them," he winked. "That gray," he nodded to her, "it's a good color. Not many can wear gray well."

"You should tell Gavin," she said as she continued to look at her menu. "He insisted I buy this blouse, or rather, he insisted that he purchase this blouse for me and then, spent a fortune on this suit for me. I am still in denial I need it, rather, that I need new suits at all. My pregnancy did a number on me, and I am not sure anything will ever fit correctly again."

"You look great, Sharon," he told her. "I mean it."

She looked to him over the top of her menu, her eyes narrowing, "I am up 28 pounds. I won't tell most men that, but considering you are also responsible for the cause, I figured I could share that detail. Nothing I do seems to get that weight to budge. I absolutely hate how I look right now."

Andy sighed, realizing he'd opened another can of worms. When he looked up, she was still eyeing him, and he raised a hand in surrender. "I'm sorry," he commented. "I wish I could change that for you. I know it bothers you, but I mean it when I say you look great. You really do, and while it's not where you want to be, you did an amazing thing. You brought Hannah into this world. I am very grateful for that because I think she's amazing."

"Hi, may I interest you in something from the bar?" they were interrupted by the waitress. Andy and Sharon looked to her, and Andy gestured to Sharon.

"Whatever the lady would like," he nodded.

Sharon, slightly flustered, smiled at the waitress, "I'll have your best cabernet, please," Sharon said as she handed the drink menu back to her.

"Sir," the waitress looked to Andy.

"I'll take a cranberry juice, please," he said and also handed the menu over to her. "Thank you."

The waitress disappeared to fill their requests, and Andy sat forward and crossed his hands on the table. He looked at Sharon, who was sitting back against her seat.

"You look tired," he told her. "How have you been doing?"

She raised an eyebrow to him, "I thought you wanted to talk about Hannah?"

He shrugged, "I do, but I also want to talk about you. I'm interested in how you are doing too, Sharon. This isn't just about Hannah. Are you sleeping at night? Is she keeping you up?"

"She's sleeping well," Sharon pursed her lips and then admitted, "but, I'm awake a lot. I am tired."

"Tell me about this new job," he nodded to her. "Are you enjoying it?"

She nodded, "I am. It's challenging me in different ways. I like it a lot. I like being around the students. That makes me feel younger, and they are very interested in what I have to say. They have a lot of questions about different cases and all. I think they believe I was some big homicide detective, but I sadly, have to explain, I just policed the police."

"That's important," he pointed out to her. "Yeah, it's not popular, but even I know it's important. I'm glad to hear it's going well. So, what happened today? You and Marshall were pretty irritated from what I could see."

Sharon rolled her eyes. Andy was glad to see he'd gotten her to focus on something, where she would at least talk to him. Taking her attention off her personal issues with him seemed to help, and he would continue to hopefully get her to relax and enjoy the evening.

"It was one of those days in court you felt like things should go one way, and everything fell apart. It's also a day like this that I'm very glad to be out of here, out of the L.A. mess and somewhere else. I hate frustrating days like this," she said in almost a rant. She stopped when their waitress returned with their drinks. They were both quiet until she finished putting down their drinks, and Andy nodded to her.

"Thanks," he said with a small smile. She smiled back at him and left.

"I had a pretty average day in court," Andy told her, not that she'd asked. "Typical day for homicide, explaining the horrible details. I never get used to it, even if I do it all the time. I almost hate I've become insensitive to homicides. Nothing went badly but going over details like that just isn't a great day."

"Hmm," Sharon just nodded. "I just need to drink this and forget about the day."

"Sure," Andy simply nodded. "So, tell me about Hannah then."

"I mean, that idiot ADA ruined the case! It was a slam dunk, and he ruined it. I told him. I warned him. We disagreed with his line of questions and angle on this, but no," she gestured in the air, holding her glass of wine as she rolled her eyes. "What would I know? I'm not a prosecutor; granted, I'm old enough to be HIS mother. I wouldn't know anything because I don't have a law degree. I'm just a woman, a retired officer now, who might know something about cases like this. I'm sorry," she met his blank stare and shook her head.

"No," Andy shook his. "I don't mind. Clearly, it's bothering you; you are frustrated. You can talk to me. It's really okay. I'll listen. That's partly why I suggested this, just to help you out. I could see you were upset back in court."

"What's done is done," she sighed. "My part is over, and I need to let it go. At least I did what I could. Marshall needs to realize he screwed up this one. Look, you don't need to sit here and listen to me go on about my day. Thank you for the ride back here."

"I'm happy to sit here. I enjoy it, Sharon. I want to talk to you. Do you realize this is really the first time we've sat anywhere and been relatively civil to one another? This is what I've wanted. I enjoy your company. Even last month at the airport, all you wanted to do was to run away from me. You're the mother of my daughter, and I want us to get along. We owe it to Hannah. I mean, as I said before, you were fun, flirty," he leaned in further, "even sexy when we were traveling. I enjoyed getting to know you, and I'd like to know more."

Sharon, with that comment, sat back, almost as if something was wrong with Andy, as if she was now repulsed by something he'd said. She took another sip of her wine and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but would you excuse me? I need to use the restroom."

"Of course," he nodded. "Take your time, relax," he encouraged. "You're tense. I can see it. You showed no mercy to that glass of wine," he chuckled, and Sharon looked to him, almost horrified she'd already finished it. She didn't realize she'd finished it that quickly.

"I'll be back," she said as she stood. Andy stood too, and she waved him off as he did so. She grabbed her purse and walked out of the bar area toward the restrooms.

Sharon slowed her pace after she rounded the corner out of eyeshot of Andy. What was wrong with her? She felt like something was off. She was hot and clammy. She felt lightheaded, but that, she waved off as a result of the "shot" of wine she'd had. She hadn't eaten yet, either, and that wasn't helping. She pushed open the door to the bathroom and was glad to find no one else inside. She immediately walked to the counter and braced her hands on it. What was going on with her? She looked at her reflection in the mirror and started talking to herself.

"So what if he seems genuine? I can't trust him. I thought I could trust Jack. Look where that got me. So what if he isn't drinking? He, himself, said that could change any minute. There's no guarantee. I can't risk exposing Hannah to someone with this type of uncertainty. What would happen if he slips? I don't need my daughter dealing with that disappointment. So what if he briefly reminded me of Dad with the cranberry juice? A lot of men drink that, and it's just a coincidence he drinks the same thing as the one man I can trust. The fact I'm comparing men based on drinks is pathetic enough. So what if he bought a new car concerned about Hannah's safety. Smooth," she nodded. "He tried to add me to the conversation, as if he's really concerned about me. So what if he asked about me, about my job, about how I'm doing? So what if he's told me I look great. I hate how I look, and this is his typical line with women. Besides that, he's trying to get to Hannah, through me. He has one goal, Hannah. I can't let my guard down right now. I can't guarantee he's going to be there for her. So what if I was briefly attracted to him on the road? What was the alternative? Provenza? He was there; he was safe for a good time, and I called that for what it was-he wanted a good time as much as I did."

Sharon's struggle with herself at the mirror was interrupted by her phone. She snapped out of her state and pulled her phone out of her purse. She let out a long sigh as she saw it was Gavin and answered it, hoping he was not already waiting for her in the lobby because she knew she was a mess.

"Gavin," she said, clearly flustered.

"Sharon, are you okay? You sound flustered, really flustered."

"I'm fine," she sighed. "Long day in court. All the problems I predicted," she nodded to herself, "worse. It was a mess."

"I told you Marshall was incompetent," he replied.

"Oh, I know," she chuckled. "It was painful to see today. Anyway, how is your case? Still on for dinner?"

"I hate to do this because you are my best friend, and I want to take you to dinner, but I also had my case go sideways today. My team is working all evening. I'm hoping I can get a raincheck? I feel awful, and after hearing about your day, I feel even worse. You're here, alone, and I can't even spend time with you," he said in a saddened tone.

"Gavin, it's fine, really," Sharon wave her hand. "I'm okay, I am fine. I'm in a meeting here at my hotel bar, something that is about to end, and I'm just going to relax for the evening. It sounds like we both had awful days, and I'm not sure I'm good company."

"Hmmm, well, that sounds boring, a meeting at the bar, but I will admit the bar part sounds good, Sharon. Let me remind you that I've had many bar meetings that have turned into bar scouting trips and more," he chuckled. "Scout around after you finish with your boring meeting. I keep telling you that you need to get back out there, that Mom needs a play date as much as Hannah," he chuckled. "You have no excuse tonight, Sharon. Hannah is tucked away with your parents, you have a new wardrobe, and you are in town for just another night. Live it up. That's a classy hotel, full of classy men. Find one who had just as bad of a day as you and turn those days around, please! You will feel like a new woman if you just get out there."

"Gavin," she put her hand to her head and shook it. "I do not need to talk about this. I've told you I have plenty going on in my life right now. I need to go," she told him.

"Take my advice, and I'll talk to you in the morning, maybe. I wish we could get breakfast, but I think my case is going to take all my time. I'll talk to you when you are back home, and we can figure out a time to get together. Have a good night, Sharon, no a FANTASTIC night," he chuckled. "Bye."

Gavin hung up the phone, and Sharon wanted to throw it down in frustration. She didn't, knowing that she'd likely break it, which would frustrate her even more. Instead, she schooled herself and looked in the mirror again. Gavin needed to get out of her head. He had been stuck in it lately with all of his "words of advice." She was a single, middle-aged mother to an infant. She looked awful, and the last thing she wanted to do was show off her added baby weight to a man. That reminded her she had another problem in the bar area. Andy was still there, wanting to talk to her about his intentions with Hannah. She needed to send him on his way and end the evening. She'd had enough of Los Angeles and wanted to spend her last few hours in the city alone.

As she walked back to the table, she saw Andy talking to the waitress. The waitress walked away as Sharon approached, and she gave Andy a small nod as she sat again, noting he stood for her as she sat.

"I do need to get going," she told Andy.

"Right, you mentioned meeting Gavin. Look, I appreciate you getting a drink with me," he smiled softly at her.

Sharon looked to the table and only now noticed she had a new glass of wine. She looked to Andy and gestured, "Did I order another glass? I didn't think I did."

"No," he frowned. "I did. I saw how quickly you had your last glass and thought you might enjoy a second. It's fine if you don't want it. I didn't know when you were meeting Gavin. I was just trying to do something to help."

"I did, ahh, throw back that last glass," she sighed. "I'm sorry about that. It's been a day. That wine isn't cheap, Andy. Let me pay for it," she started to dig out her wallet.

"Absolutely not," he reached across, not touching her, but gesturing for her to put away her purse. "My treat, and that's it. Drink it, or don't drink it; it's fine."

She reached and took a sip of the glass, nodding as she put it back on the table. "Thank you. It does hit the spot."

"Do you need a ride to meet Gavin?" he asked. I'll be glad to drop you wherever you need to go."

She frowned, "Gavin called while I was in the restroom. His case is falling apart too," she rolled her eyes. "That seems to be the theme of the day. I'll be fine," she waved at him. "I'll just get some rest before I travel home tomorrow."

Sharon watched Andy as she spoke. He was focused on her, but he wasn't staring at her. She felt herself start to relax, and then, almost in a split second, she reminded herself that this was Andy sitting across from her, the same man she'd found charming over a year ago now. She looked to him, their eyes meeting, and she gestured toward the exit.

"I do need to go. I think I am going to just try and forget the day," she said. She started to stand, and as she did, she caught her foot and stumbled. Andy stood quickly, jumping into action, and he caught her as she tried to steady herself.

"Are you okay? Is it the wine?" he asked.

"No," she waved him off. "I'm fine," she sighed. "I caught my foot. I had a glass and a few sips of this," she said. Sharon looked to him, and he released his arm from hers, where he'd been trying to steady her. She looked to the table and saw her glass of wine sitting there. She picked it up and threw it back, like she was taking a shot of liquor. Andy's eyes widened in surprise, and when she put the glass down, she still had just a little left, but she'd taken quite a sip of it.

"Thank you for the drink," she said. "I'm going to get going."

"Look, if you want to eat, we can order. I know you haven't eaten, but if you are intent on leaving, let me walk you out," he nodded to her as he threw down several bills to cover the tab. He walked just behind Sharon as they walked out of the bar area, Andy intent on saying goodbye to her before they parted ways. He also wanted to ask about Hannah, hoping he could see her soon.

Sharon's phone rang again as they were coming down the few steps from the bar area into the lobby. Andy, who was now beside her, made sure she didn't fall those few steps, and she pulled out her phone as they reached the ground level. "Oh, it's that idiot, Marshall," she groaned. Andy nodded and took a step back to allow her some privacy, but he also wanted to keep her near, so he could discuss Hannah before Sharon went to her room.

"Look, I told you that I'm not sure what else can be done!" he heard Sharon exclaim as she walked. She was still slowly walking toward the elevator, and Andy, a few steps behind her, put his hands in his pocket to let her finish her conversation. She briefly turned and looked back at him, nodding to him behind her, almost telling Andy she would be off the phone in a minute. He returned the nod and continued to follow behind while she spoke. "I warned you yesterday this plan of yours would backfire. Now that it is, you have to take that fall yourself. I did what I could on the stand. You backed me into a corner, one that I warned you about. Yes, I'm aware you will lose the case. That's not on me. Yes," she said and repeated again. "Look, I'm flying home in the morning. I wish you the best, but sometimes, you have to deal with the fallout and move on. Goodnight," she finally said as she hung up with him, and now both were standing near the elevator. The elevator opened before Andy could say anything, and he nudged at her arm.

"Look, I wanted to just ask you about seeing Hannah. Could I walk you to your door? I know you've had a couple drinks; I want to make sure you are okay, and we could talk on the walk, so we aren't hashing it out here in the lobby."

She frowned slightly, but with the elevator open, she didn't have time to think about it. "I'm not drunk, but fine."

"I didn't say you were!" he exclaimed. "I'm fully aware you are aware and alert. I just listened to you chew out one of the assistant district attorneys for the city. Not many can do that. You did that, so I have no question you are just fine." Sharon walked onto the elevator, and Andy followed. There were two other men inside the elevator, and the group all nodded to one another. As the elevator started to climb, Andy turned toward her, finding Sharon staring straight ahead at the doors.

"I wanted to talk to you about seeing Hannah," he pleaded. "I mean, I wanted to talk to you about a lot of things this evening, about you-how you are doing and all, but we haven't discussed Hannah much. I really want to see my daughter, to get to know her," he pleaded. Andy noticed both men raise their eyebrows, clearly aware they were now in the middle of a domestic situation. Sharon tapped her foot and crossed her arms. The elevator doors opened onto her floor, and when she stepped out, Andy followed. She turned to him and shook her head.

"I keep expecting to have an answer, to know what to say," she sighed. "I just have so much going on in my head."

"Okay," he said softly. "I'm not asking to take her away, Sharon." She dropped her arms to her side and gestured down the hall. She started to walk that way.

"My room is right here," she said as they came to a stop in front of the door. "Andy, allowing you into her life could cause so much heartache."

"It could also be pretty amazing," he gave her a genuine smile. "I don't want to mess up any of this. I love her, and I have my head on straight. I just wish you would give me a chance. I've done nothing but try and be supportive of you both."

Sharon looked up at Andy and sighed, "Ricky's comment about Hannah wanting to know her dad in the future-it keeps floating around in my head. I just don't know what I want to do about that. I just, I just," she shook her head and looked to the floor, trying to vocalize what she wanted.

She looked back up at Andy, who was standing there, a confused expression on his face, "I just wanted to live a little, to have some fun," she shrugged. Andy's gaze narrowed as if he was trying to understand her and what she was saying now. "Gavin keeps telling me I need to get back to that, to get it out of my system."

"I'm not following," Andy waved his hand around as he tried to figure out her comments. She nodded and pulled her key out to open her door.

"I think I just need the night," she said. "I just need tonight, to clear my head, to remember life isn't meant to be so stressful all the time."

She looked at Andy and started into her room. "Sharon," he called to her as she turned to close the door.

"Andy," she said right back at him, as if they were repeating each other. "Andy," she said again and met his gaze, "I'm going to go in my room here and relax. I plan to order the greasiest cheeseburger they can make and a large order of onion rings to go with it. I'd like one night, one night to live again. So," she met his gaze, and while her foot was holding the door, slid off her suit jacket and reached behind herself, where she slowly started to unzip her skirt, "one night. You decide, but the door is closing, in more ways than one. You decide."

Andy stood there, dumbfounded, unable to speak as he watched Sharon turn to walk further into her room and away from her door. He thought about what she'd just said, about her dinner choice for the evening, and he remembered the last time she'd basically placed an order like that with him. Her intentions were clear, visibly clear as he looked at her walking across her room, her dress now fully unzipped as she was starting to slip out of it. He shook his head, not sure if there was a good way to answer her, and he closed the door.


	41. Chapter 41

Never had he hated hearing the phone ring as much as he did now. He'd been called out to a lot of late-night crime scenes, but nothing compared to this moment.

"Ignore it; it's probably Gavin," she said quietly, and as much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. It had ruined the moment.

He continued to try and ignore it, but the once dark room, now had a faint light glowing from the nightstand and an even more annoying ring that continued. The ringing wouldn't stop, killing the mood completely. She reached over to silence it, aware it was clearly distracting things, and as she did, she got twisted in the sheet. She pulled the sheet with her, and as she moved, he tried to follow her movement in the dim light. He wasn't sure how her phone had ended up on the nightstand, but somehow, in the heat of everything, it had been left there.

While Sharon continued to deal with the phone, Andy flopped back on the bed, and put his hand over the back of his head. He could hear her as she tried to silence her phone. He sighed. The timing could have been worse; it could have been better too. Gavin could have left Sharon alone just for the night, one night, so he could spend this time with her, time he never dreamed of having just an hour ago. He wanted to kill Gavin right now. The guy had the worst timing. He closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment, trying to enjoy the silence they'd had in the room, trying to remember every detail, but Sharon brought him out of his thoughts.

"It wasn't Gavin," she said, sounding almost horrified. He sat up slightly, his elbow propping him up, and he looked over toward Sharon. She'd been so set on the lights staying off, the curtains staying completely closed, he could barely see her, but he could now see she was sitting up on the side of the bed, wrapped in the sheet, staring at her phone. He moved toward her and looked over her shoulder as she shook her head at her phone. He kissed her shoulder, and she shook her head again, this time at him.

"It was my mom," she said as she sighed. "She and my dad are watching Hannah. I need to call her now," she said. "Something could be wrong."

Andy put his hand up on her shoulder and squeezed it as he kissed her shoulder again, "I'm sure everything is okay, Sharon," he said quietly as she started to dial her phone. She glanced at him, the small light from the phone the only light allowing the two to see each other.

"Please, she can't know you are here," she pleaded with him. He just nodded and kissed her shoulder again.

"Call your mom," he encouraged and then chuckled. "I feel like I'm sneaking around in high school. This sounds like a high school movie, silenced in a bed while the mother is called."

"Mom," Sharon said into the phone, and Andy quickly schooled his laughter. He put his head back on the pillow, now just behind Sharon as she sat there still on the side of the bed. He understood Sharon's rush to call her mother, but he also had a feeling Hannah was okay. She was in good hands with Sharon's parents, even if he'd never met them, and as Sharon spoke, he could tell everything was okay, so while she spoke to them, he started to run his hand over her back, first over the sheet, and then, he pulled it down slightly to run his fingers over her bare back. She was wonderful, even after everything. She had a lot going on in her head, but when she let herself just relax and stop thinking, she really was amazing. He'd seen it before, and that is one of the things that continued to draw him to her, something almost intoxicating to him, like a fatal attraction. She made him feel alive, and he couldn't remember feeling as he did with Sharon with anyone else.

"Hannah did what?" Sharon said suddenly and loudly, causing Andy to stop his hand motions and sit up again. He started to lean over her shoulder again, as if that would give him more information. She shook her head at the notion, and instead, he leaned against the headboard to sit behind Sharon. "She rolled over? I missed it," Sharon said, finishing her sentence deflated. "Oh, she's been trying to do that for quite some time now." Andy listened and smiled at that. His baby girl, little Hannah, had hit a milestone. He'd heard about it with Sharon; they were sharing this moment, even if they weren't with Hannah. "I'm sorry I missed your call. I was just resting here. I must have fallen asleep," he heard her try to explain. He started to lightly chuckle, and she elbowed him quickly and easily as he sat right behind her. He stopped laughing and started to rub her shoulders, feeling the tightness in them. He hoped she would be okay with everything, with the two of them together. It was unexpected, at least to him, but he wasn't complaining; in fact, he was thrilled. He cared deeply for Sharon, and he'd been realizing it more and more over the last few weeks. Yes, she'd tried to push him away, but he knew she had a lot of internal struggle and hoped she just might lower her walls to let him in.

"Video chat, now?" Sharon said with a question. Andy raised his eyebrows too, not that anyone could see it. He didn't know what was going to happen with Sharon's mom, but the moment, at least for now, had ended. He left Sharon there to continue speaking to her mom and slipped out the side of the bed. He really needed to get some light in the room, but the window was across the room from where he was. He felt around, trying to find any part of his clothing and finally grabbed hold of his pants. The room, he could tell, was a wreck. Once they had finally closed the door, Sharon hadn't wasted any time. He had moved quickly too, checking two more times with her for confirmation that this was what she wanted, and finally, as she pulled him to the bed, he let his emotions take over as well. They'd both been enjoying everything, living for the moment, and then, her mother had called. Yes, it was good news. Hannah was growing and changing.

"Okay, Mom, sure," Sharon nodded. She hung up the phone and glanced toward Andy, who was now walking to the window to open the curtain just enough to give the room light. There was a light by Sharon too, but he wanted to give her some space. He had a feeling she would soon realize what emotional doors they had just reopened. "My mom is intent on video chatting about Hannah. I am so happy she rolled over, but my mom cannot see me like this. I want to see Hannah, but I cannot, for obvious reasons, connect to her video chat."

"If you just let your mom connect hers, can we both see her? She's rolling over?" Andy asked, now walking closer to the bed where Sharon was still sitting there wrapped in the sheet.

"Hmm, she is," Sharon nodded. The video chat alert sounded, almost causing Sharon to jump. Andy moved to sit by Sharon, and she allowed the video portion to connect so she could see her mom and Hannah, but her mom couldn't see her. "Mom, my camera isn't connecting," she said and quickly added, "oh, hi, my sweetheart." Sharon brought one hand up to her chest, and she melted when Hannah appeared on the screen. Her mom was sitting on the floor with Hannah, who appeared to be playing on her little play mat.

"Sharon are you there?" her mom called to her. "I can't see you."

"Mom, I'm here," Sharon said rather loudly and shook her head. "My camera isn't working. I can see you and Hannah. Oh, she's so beautiful. I miss her so," she sighed.

"She's rolled over twice. I called you after she did it the first time. Your dad just fed her, so I'm hoping she doesn't burp out her bottle rolling around like this," she chuckled. "She has been so frustrated all afternoon, trying to roll over, and she finally did it tonight. I've been doing like you asked me to do and making sure she has plenty of tummy time. Anyway, after I tried to call you, she did it again. She rolled over again, so it's been two times in the last few minutes. Let's see if she will do it again."

Sharon listened and nodded, almost like her mom could see her. Andy reached for her hand and squeezed it, almost surprised she allowed him to do so, and the two sat in silence as they watched Hannah on the floor, making her small noises in almost frustration. Suddenly, as if almost yelling at a play on a sports' channel, Sharon said, "Oh, oh, she's about to roll over! Oh, come on Hannah," she said to the screen. Hannah let out a high-pitched squeal as she expressed her frustrations, and then, in swift movement, she flipped herself over again."

"Oh, she did it!" Sharon exclaimed. Andy squeezed her hand, and he bit his lip trying not to say anything and embarrass Sharon with her mom. "Oh, Baby, that was great," she said to Hannah. Sharon's mom returned to the screen.

"I didn't want you to miss it. I'm sorry you didn't see it the first time, but she's officially rolling over."

"I'm glad you saw it, Mom," Sharon sighed. "My little girl is growing up."

"I don't know what to press to see you, Sharon," her mom said to the screen and continued, "all this technology."

"Mom," Sharon sighed, and then, Hannah started to cry. "I am glad you called. I'm sorry my camera isn't connecting."

"Oh, she's tired and frustrated now," her mom said with a small smile. "I'll let you go for now. We're going to get her a bath and start getting her ready for bed. She misses you."

"I miss her," Sharon said, as she clutched her chest again. "I'll see you tomorrow early afternoon."

"Be safe, Sweetheart," her mom said. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Sharon pulled her hand away to end the phone call. Andy sat there, in silence, as he allowed Sharon a moment to process things. A lot had happened in a short amount of time. He was surprised, when of all things, Sharon started to cry. He turned to her and wrapped his arm around her as she cried.

"I missed it," she said between sobs. "My beautiful little girl is growing up, hitting milestones, and I missed it. I was instead, here, not taking care of her, doing something that was selfish and not focused on her."

"Hey," Andy said quietly as he pulled her to him, Sharon with her hands on her face still, "she is with your parents. You aren't going to miss everything. She will have plenty of milestones. I'm sorry you missed it in person, but we saw it together, Sharon. We. You and I, Hannah's parents. We saw it. Your mom called. That's how I've felt about all this. Maybe you can imagine how I feel about so much of this now," he said as he pulled back to look in her eyes, the sheet still tightly wrapped around her. "I want to see all the moments too, to be part of these moments. I know it's hard to believe, but as much as you love her, I love her that much too. You are not here being selfish. You were here for work and left her in the care of your parents, people who also love her. This," he gestured to the room, "this is you living and letting yourself be happy. You are a mom, yes, but you are also a woman, a woman who can't feel guilty for living. This doesn't have to be something terrible. There's a reason we were drawn together before. Sharon, there's something here, between us, and I think you continue to fight it. There's a reason we have this chemistry, why we almost can't get enough of each other. I feel something, and I'm pretty sure you do too, at least if you let yourself admit it. Sharon, this wasn't just a roll in the sheets for me, another conquest," he gestured with his hands. "Yeah, sure, I've had plenty of those, and honestly, the first time we were together, back on the road, I'm pretty sure we both thought that was all it was, just two people needing that release. I think it quickly became more, at least for me. I think you know it too, and that's why you want to keep me at a distance."

Sharon looked down and shook her head as she wiped a tear. She sighed, "I think we need to just forget tonight, put it behind us, leave it for what it was. This was just easy," she shrugged and looked up at him. "It's been over a year for me, Andy. Gavin has been on me to get back in the game as he says. You seemed like the safe choice," she shrugged. "It was what it was. It doesn't change the fact that I'm not sure about Hannah, about how you should be involved with her. I'm trying to keep this separate in my mind, that you being in her life is different than an evening in bed with me, that trusting you in my bed doesn't mean I have to trust you with Hannah. This was just," she nodded as she thought and continued, "just what I needed. I can walk away from this; you can walk away from this, but Hannah is different. Feel free to finish getting dressed and leave."

Andy looked at her, wanting her to meet his gaze. He sighed and dropped his head as he looked to the floor. Sharon stood and pulled the sheet with her.

"I'm going to freshen up in the bathroom," she said. Andy reached for her hand, and she didn't pull it away. He stood and looked at her as he squeezed her hand, "I would really like to stay. You try to push me out every time we are together, and I think you are scared to feel anything. I'd like to think we could do that again," he said as he gave her a small smile. "I want you, Sharon. I haven't wanted other women in some time. No one compares to you, and I'll keep saying it until you believe it. This isn't just about Hannah. This is about me, wanting you, the mother of my daughter. I don't see you as a one-night stand; I see you as the mother of my daughter, a woman I want to be with romantically. This is me saying I messed up by signing that stupid piece of paper. I want to be with you, however you will have me. We have an undeniable chemistry, and I want more of it. I want more of you, this," he gestured. "I can't seem to stay away."

She teared up again, "I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want for Hannah. My life has been filled with clouded judgement. I thought Jack wanted me. He never did. I thought Jack would be there for the kids, even after he left me. He wasn't. I trusted my judgement then, and I'm having trouble trying to do that now. The physical aspect," she shook her head, "I can handle what I want and keep it separate from what Hannah needs in her life, I think. For now, I'm going to use the bathroom," she said as she stepped away from him.

"I'd like to order some dinner for us," he called to her. She stopped walking, but she didn't turn around to face him. She listened, though. "I'd like to spend the night here with you, your last night in L.A. and just be with you. For once, I'd like to share a meal with you, to curl up with you in my arms, and I'd like to make you remember every moment of the evening. I'd like to send you back to Arizona, happy, relaxed, and remembering me, here, the man trying to please you. If you want me to go, I'll go, but that's what I want. I'm spelling it out tonight, and I know I've already told you that, but I'm telling you again. I'm letting you make this choice. You don't want to discuss Hannah? Fine," he waved it off. "We can leave her out of this," he gestured between them. "This isn't about Hannah, this physical attraction we have right now. If you say you are leaving tomorrow, give us one night. We've been pretty great all the other times. This," he nodded back to the bed, "was also pretty great. Let's enjoy the night, tonight. Let me stay, and when you leave tomorrow, you will have these memories, wonderful memories we can create, to take home and think."

He saw Sharon take a deep breath, and then she took another step toward the bathroom. He stood there in only his pants, pleading his case, and then, as she was about to walk into the bathroom, she nodded to herself and quietly said, "I'd really like that cheeseburger, please."

Andy placed the order, making sure Sharon would get her cheeseburger and onion rings. He ordered fish for himself, deciding he was hungrier than he'd thought. The evening was taking a toll on him, and he hoped Sharon would listen and let him stay for the night, the whole night. He wanted to be with her, in all ways, and he finally felt like she was beginning to deal with the feelings he knew she had. He couldn't force her to do anything, especially regarding her feelings, but he could spell it out for her. The fact was she was physically attracted to him and had been all along. She'd pulled him into the room, this time and every single time. She'd suggested their arrangement. She'd wanted him, and he knew now he definitely wanted her. She'd initiated things, once again, and now that she had opened that can of worms, he was ready to address their relationship mess head on tonight.

He'd tried to walk away tonight. He really had. Standing in the hallway, he'd watched the door close on her, and he had turned to walk away. As he sat on the bed, thinking back to that moment, now, just over an hour ago, he'd basically given Sharon an ultimatum, even though she was the one who'd tried to give him an ultimatum. He was aware, just as much as she was, this little game tonight was not about Hannah. This was about feelings between two adults. Hannah was a separate topic; Andy knew it, and Sharon did too. She had tried to say any unspoken arrangement would be over, but the reality was she didn't want it to end. It was clear to him that she believed he would just follow her into the room again, doing what she wanted under her guidelines. He'd thought about it, and as much as he'd wanted to follow her, he'd watched the door close. Walking away from her, from a night with her, wasn't what he wanted to do, but he knew letting Sharon walk all over him was not the answer either. He felt the need to push back a little, to show her he wasn't just a puppet she could order around. He stood there in the hallway a moment, almost unsure if he'd made the right choice, and then, he had turned and started to walk down the hall, the image of Sharon walking into the room, taking off her clothing, stuck in his mind. He was almost halfway down the hall, when he heard a faint calling.

"Andy," he heard. He stopped walking; he knew who was calling him. He knew who was behind him. He wasn't sure what would happen if he turned around, but he also knew that he'd made his point. If she was calling out to him, he'd called her bluff, and she was now, almost giving him a peace offering. Before he turned around to face her, he took a deep breath, knowing that this moment was going to be some type of turning point. What that meant, he wasn't sure. He turned, and he almost melted when his eyes met hers.

She was standing there, looking so vulnerable, an expression he hadn't seen on her, at least not that he remembered. She had put on clothing; she was wearing a white hotel robe, and she was holding it closed now. Sharon had come after him. She hadn't let him walk away, and now, as she stood there looking at him, all he could do was look back at her. His eyes met hers, and she gave him a small shrug.

"You are walking away," she nodded to herself.

He shook his head at her, "You can spin it how you want." He stepped closer to her, so he wasn't yelling or airing their drama to the whole floor. "I figured you would say that, and you would blame me for this. No, you can't. You want me to just wait for your beckon call, to do anything you ask. I'm not going to do that. You told me you've been with other men, that things didn't work out because of them. Maybe, you are destroying things. You told me that you wanted these one-night stands because it made things easy. You know, that was okay at first. With Hannah, the stakes are now higher, not that I'm bringing her specifically into this, but the fact is her presence in our lives changes things between you and me. I'm not like other men now. I'm connected to you through Hannah whether you like it or not. I'm more than a one-night stand when it's convenient for you. I wanted to walk into that room. You have no idea, no idea. I wanted to follow you, but I will only come in if I'm staying to order breakfast. You want me? Well, I want you too, and it's all night or nothing. You aren't going to get what you want tonight and send me home. I get a say too, and I want you to see me as more than just a guy, just some random guy.

She didn't say anything, but she nodded. When her eyes met his, she nodded again, and then, she extended the olive branch. She reached for his hand, as her eyes met his. She nodded again, and then, he finally took her hand and followed her.

Now, as he sat on the bed, letting her have her alone time in the bathroom, he continued to think about everything. It wasn't like he expected things to magically come together. In fact, one thing he wanted to discuss with Sharon was her trust issues. He'd started seeing a therapist over a year ago, and it had done quite a bit of good for him. He wanted to ask Sharon if she'd thought of doing the same, of talking to a professional. He knew it could help. It had helped him, and he was hopeful if she started to open up, to see that she cared for Andy, maybe, just maybe, she would allow him to spend time with Hannah too. He wanted to be with both of them; yes, he knew that, but he was trying to tread lightly. It would end badly if the relationship he wanted with Hannah got in the crossfire of his relationship-if there was one-with Sharon. Yes, he knew it could all blow up on him, but life wasn't easy; the lines weren't always drawn in the sand. He realized that he ultimately wanted Sharon and Hannah, but things might not work in either relationship. It seemed simple, wanting to be with your own daughter and her mother, but nothing was simple. She technically wasn't his daughter, per the paperwork. Sharon wasn't sure she wanted Andy in Hannah's life or her own, but he felt she was almost ready to stop running and start trusting. Hannah deserved both of them.

His sweet baby, he just shook his head as he thought about her. He grinned as he pictured her rolling over again, the frustration on her little face. He adored her dark hair. It was sweet on her, and he still saw Sharon in Hannah's gorgeous eyes. He knew Sharon was trying to protect Hannah. It was admirable, but he had to show Sharon he was different; he wasn't going to hurt Hannah, and he certainly didn't want to hurt Sharon either. He wanted to be there for Hannah and Sharon. He was trying to keep his thoughts on the two separate because they were two complicated issues. Yes, it was possible to love his daughter and be civil to Sharon. He believed that, but lately, he'd been toying with feelings, that today, seemed to rise to the surface. He now believed he could love Hannah and love Sharon. He also didn't want to risk ruining his relationship with Sharon and further straining things with Hannah. He understood Sharon was wanting to protect herself and Hannah. She wasn't there yet, the realization he was now addressing. Andy wasn't sure she ever would be, but he believed she cared about him; her coming after him in the hallway proved that to him. As he'd told her, SHE had always pulled him into bed. The first few times had been born of a lust, but he felt things changing last Christmas and last New Year's with her. He felt her pushing him away so quickly, trying to send him away, was her attempt at no contact, no interaction, no relationship between the two. He remembered she had told him, with other men, she'd allowed herself to get too involved; she was just looking for some fun. He had been looking for fun too, but he'd fallen victim to his own plan; he'd fallen for Sharon.

Andy looked up when the bathroom door opened awhile later. He was still sitting on the bed. He'd added his undershirt to his pants, knowing the room service cart would be on its way and had cleaned up the room somewhat. The bed was somewhat presentable, and he'd picked up all their clothing. Sharon looked at him as she walked across the room, the awkward tension still in the air.

"I ordered dinner," he told her as he watched her walk. He wanted to close his eyes and memorize every movement she made. He quickly added, "I'm going to pay for the room service."

Sharon paused by her suitcase, clad in now a towel she had wrapped around her with a second towel on her head. "That's not necessary."

He watched her as she looked to her bag and started to dig through it, "I was going to bring you something to wear, but I didn't want to dig through your bag."

She nodded at his statement but continued to look through her bag. She, then, looked up at him again. "So, room service?" she paused and looked to him, expecting him to read her mind. He shook his head, and she continued, "I take it your ordered yourself something to eat?"

"I did," he told her. "If you really want me to go, I'll leave," he said and stood for emphasis. He stepped toward her, waiting for an answer. "As I said before, I'd really like to spend the night with you, to explore this more. Do you want me to leave?"

She bit her lip and looked to the ceiling before she shook her head. She looked back at him, giving him a solid answer, "No, I need this tonight," she said with a single nod. "You and I do have a chemistry, here," she shrugged, "together. That doesn't mean what goes on between us changes anything else I'm thinking. I feel you are safe for this," she gestured to the room. "We do have a good chemistry, and I just need to live tonight."

"So, I can stay?" he asked, stepping closer to her, his voice low in almost a whisper.

She held up her clothing, now wrapped in almost a small ball, "You can stay, and we can continue all of this," she gave a small sigh. "I'm going to change into something more appropriate."

He nodded to her towel, "I have no problem with that, even with you losing that," he gestured to where she had it pulled tightly together. She blushed and shook her head as she looked away before she held up the clothing bundle again.

"Gavin is like a Boy Scout," she explained. "He's taught me over and over to always be prepared. I always travel prepared, have been traveling prepared," she nodded and continued, "for awhile now. Let's just say in my shopping spree with him, he bought me this," she nodded to the clothing in her hand. "I think it will be nice," she nodded and swallowed, "different, something to enjoy this evening, and it will make me feel attractive. I don't feel attractive."

"I don't know what mirror you are looking in, but it's clearly broken," he said with a soft smile. He put his hands on her shoulders and added, "I've told you I think you are beautiful. So, Gavin," he nodded to her things. "That might answer my question." She eyed him, and he looked over toward the bed, "Today, tonight," he clarified, "was this your plan all along? Was it me? Was it going to be some guy from the bar? Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to do so, but I am curious. I'll tell you that I've slept with a couple of women since we were last together. Each one was a disappointment, Sharon. Tonight, though, it's not a disappointment."

Sharon pursed her lips, and then, she let out her breath, "I wasn't exactly planning this, with you, tonight. I had planned to make this a quick trip, to get in and out of L.A., to see Gavin and go home. Running into you, why it didn't surprise me, I didn't then plan to bring you to bed. I feel like it just happened, just evolved. Even on the elevator, I wasn't plotting this, but when we were in the hall, something just clicked. It did cross my mind, or rather, Gavin kept putting the idea in my head, to find anyone. At some point, tonight, though, I realized I didn't want just anyone. I wanted you, here." She didn't wait for an answer. She walked back to the bathroom, and Andy turned to watch. The woman was killing him with every move. She reappeared a minute later, clad in what was a new silk chemise and matching robe, one that almost took his breath away. It just looked perfect on her, expensive, probably costing more than he would spend on groceries for the month. It also looked amazing on her. He gave her a small smile.

"Well, I am going to insist on answering the door for room service because tonight, I want this look all for myself," he said. Their eyes met, and she shook her head at him.

"Tonight," she nodded. "We enjoy tonight. Tomorrow, I am going home. Anything more, I'm not prepared to think about right now."


	42. Chapter 42

"Flynn take a look at her," Provenza nudged Andy as they sat at the end of the bar after a long day at work. Provenza had insisted on coming to this specific bar, his favorite bar, to unwind after work. Andy didn't particularly like this place. He was used to going out with Provenza, but this bar, Provenza's favorite bar, was just not a good place to eat. That was always his focus, as of course, Andy was the tag-along to make sure Provenza got home safely. He, in the past, had also been Provenza's wing-man, but tonight, he just wasn't feeling it. He wanted to go home. He wanted a decent meal, not greasy bar food, and he just wanted to relax.

"Flynn are you listening?" Provenza asked again and nudged Andy again. Andy wiped off his hands, trying to choke down his veggie burger and side salad. He didn't know why he bothered with the food at this place. It was a dump, and he knew he would be better to just wait until he was on his way home to get something to eat.

"Yeah, I heard you," Andy said, still trying to chew his bite of food. "Go talk to her yourself," he nodded toward the woman. Andy glanced at her, very tall, blonde-actually, bleached blonde, and dressed for the hunt, as Andy had told Provenza about women in the past. Provenza was looking around and finally looked back to Andy.

"She's not my type, Flynn. You know that. I can't stand someone THAT tall. She's almost as tall as you. I don't mind if the woman is my height or just a little taller, but even I have some standards. Talk about a shot to the ego," he chuckled. He gestured with his onion ring, "She's totally your type."

"Not interested, and get that onion ring out of my face," he swatted at Provenza's arm. It smells terrible."

"I thought you liked onion rings," Provenza said to him.

"Sometimes," Andy grumbled and continued, "not tonight, not with you."

"You're in a rotten mood. I've tried to send you over to three different women tonight," Provenza told him.

"I'm not in the mood, Provenza. You're looking, and yet, you seem to still be sitting here. Either find a woman who will put up with you tonight, or I know-let's go home," Andy grumbled.

"What's going on with you lately, Flynn? You blew me off, what two weeks ago? Last week, we went out, to a real restaurant with a bar, and you didn't find anyone. Tonight, we're out again, and you are acting like the women here repulse you. I'm looking for a good time, and the Flynn I know usually is too. It's been awhile for you. Is that it? Nervous?"

"No!" Andy exclaimed, gesturing with his fork. He watched as a piece of wilted lettuce went flying in the air and landed behind the bar area, and with that, he rolled his eyes and put down his fork. He wiped his mouth again, while Provenza waited for an explanation. Instead of answering him right away, Andy took another bite of his veggie burger and chewed on it while Provenza continued to sit and eat his onion rings. He finally spoke, "I'm not nervous, and for your information, I am just not interested."

"Are you sick?" Provenza asked and lifted his hand to feel Andy's head.

"Get your greasy hands off me," Andy pushed Provenza's hand away as he swatted at him. "I'm not sick. I'm fine. I just don't need to take a woman home."

Provenza rolled his eyes, "I haven't heard you say that in a long time-" he paused. He looked to Andy, his eyes grew wide, and he pointed at him. "You're sleeping with someone already. You're sleeping with someone behind my back."

"Yeah," Andy nodded and threw his napkin down on the counter. "Because, you know, we're girlfriends like that and dish about every single person we meet. I don't ask questions about the women you take home or follow home," he told Provenza. "And, you and I," he gestured to Provenza, "are not some couple, so how would it be behind your back?'

Provenza narrowed his eyes, and he turned to study Andy. He watched him, but Andy took a sip of his cup of coffee and shook his head at Provenza.

"Let it go, Provenza," he said. "I'm just not in the mood."

"Flynn, there's a red flag right there," Provenza waved his finger at him. "You're always in the mood. I'm almost always in the mood, except when one of my ex-wives calls me, nagging. Spill it, and then, I'm going over there to meet that one," he gave a small nod of his head to the newest woman to enter the bar. Andy glanced at her, and he nodded to Provenza.

"She's your type," he said. The woman was there with a friend, and she was close to 40. She was short, which Andy had to admit, was Provenza's type, and she had dark brown hair. She was dressed in a short skirt suit, but she looked classy, even if the skirt looked a little short for professional wear.

"Flynn, if I lose out on meeting her because you are over here hiding something, I swear!" Provenza said. "I know what it is!" Provenza exclaimed and pointed at Andy. "It all adds up, your age, not being in the mood, all of it. You need some pills. It's okay, Flynn. It happens to the best of us. You just need one of the magic blue pills, and you will be up and running again, back on the horse."

"I don't need pills!" Andy exclaimed. "That's definitely not my problem. Definitely not," he repeated. Andy wiped his hands again and continued to chew. "Fine. I'm not going into details, but I slept with, or am sleeping with Sharon."

Provenza's eyes grew wide, and his expression quickly turned to a horrified one, "Flynn! What a way to stab a guy in the back! You're sleeping with my ex-wife?"

Andy, who expected Provenza to give him grief, suddenly started to shake his head and wave his hands. "Provenza, no! You've got it all wrong. I'm sleeping with Sharon!" This time, the phrase was almost shouted out, so much that others in the bar turned toward the men. Andy groaned and dropped his head and groaned again. Provenza continued to gesture until it hit him.

"Sharon? Wait," his eyes got wide again as he continued, "you mean, Raydor? Your baby mama? Hannah's mom? The woman who has treated you like garbage? The woman we had to hunt down because she took off to hide? The woman you were stupid enough to sleep with not once, or even twice on our work trip, but enough times to knock her up? The woman who has been an annoyance to us for years? Flynn! You are an even bigger idiot. I'm almost hoping you are talking about my ex-wife because while completely insane, it would be better than you telling me it's Raydor. My ex-wife, Sharon, is a complete lunatic, but at least she wouldn't play with your mind. Raydor is a disaster. How in the world did you meet up with her again?"

"You asked," Andy shrugged as he stabbed another bite of his salad. He started to chew it, and he could feel Provenza still staring at him. He shifted in his seat to explain, "Look, it just happened."

"No, no, no," Provenza waved his hand at him. "It's never just happened with you two. She was on the hunt when we were traveling, and you were the guy she snagged. It might just happen with these lovely ladies in here tonight," he gestured around the room and flashed a smirk at Andy, "but that, that with Raydor, doesn't happen. When did it happen? She's supposed to be in Arizona. Flynn, you've been holding back."

"You know, it's one thing with a one-night stand. You and I have never gotten into details; that's not our style, but sure," he shrugged, "we tell each other general details about those times. Sharon, it's different. Whatever happens, it's different. She's the mother of my kid, my daughter," he clarified, "and I'm not going to degrade her to that, to telling you the details. She was in town for work, an old case, and we slept together. Since then, I'm just not looking for anyone else, so no," he smirked at Provenza and continued, "I'm not nervous or out of practice. I'm just not interested in anyone here tonight."

Provenza pointed at him, "You said slept and then said sleeping. Is it going to happen again? This is a terrible idea. She's going to use the kid to hold everything against you, Flynn. How are you not seeing this?"

Andy gestured with his hand, "Why don't you let me worry about my personal life right now? Look, I am aware of the risks," he said.

"I'm not sure you are," Provenza pointed out to him. "I thought you were trying to see Hannah?"

"I am," Andy nodded. "I want it all, Provenza. I want Hannah and Sharon. I'm not sure that will ever happen, but sleeping with her again felt right; it felt good."

"Stop right there," Provenza held up a hand. "I don't want to know."

"Agreed!" Andy exclaimed. "I'm only saying that I want her in my life. I don't know what is going to happen, but that's what I want. She's back in Arizona, and until I figure this out, I don't want to sleep with someone from a bar."

"I never thought I'd see the day, Flynn," he shook his head. "Is she letting you see Hannah?"

"Not yet," Andy shook his head as he used his fork to move around some of his salad. "I mean, I saw her on a video chat when I was with Sharon. She rolled over. Since then, I haven't pushed. I'm taking things slowly, hoping Sharon realizes what I think she feels."

Provenza just eyed him and then shook his head. He pursed his lips, "When did all this happen?"

"First week of February," Andy told him. "You remember that day I was out for court? It was that night."

"Flynn, that was almost a month ago! How have you not told me?" Provenza exclaimed.

It was now the last week of February, just a couple more days until the start of a new month. Andy had been giving Sharon space. As hard as it was, he hadn't called her or sent her flowers on Valentine's Day. He'd wanted to do that, but he knew she'd hate that. Instead, he'd sent Hannah a card, one that said, "Happy 1st Valentine's Day Princess." He thought it was just the right thing to send. Sharon, of course, would be the one to get and open the card. She'd read the message, and that was fine with him. Anything more would be too much, and it seemed like it worked. The only mention of Valentine's Day, and indirectly too, was a text that evening from Sharon that said, "Thank you for the card." Now, almost two weeks later, Andy was planning to go home and call Sharon. He had spoken to her one other time since she'd gone back to Arizona. He was serious about giving her space, as hard as it was for him. It had also been a busy month with work, something he'd told her when he'd last spoken to her, a few days after she'd returned home. He started to think about that, but Provenza continued to irritate him here at the bar. He just needed to go home.

"I don't want to get into it. Look, I'm fine sitting here while you scout out things. I'm about ready to go home. My meal was terrible, and I want to relax. Now, I'm happy to drive you home, so right now, I just need to know if I'm taking you home, or if you are going home with someone else."

Provenza looked at him and shook his head, almost in disbelief at Andy's stupidity. He wiped his mouth and nodded to Andy, "Got any breath mints?"

"Get your onion breath away from me," Andy pushed off Provenza. "I don't want to smell that."

"That's why I'm asking for breath mints," Provenza nodded at him. "Do you have a couple? I can't go over there to pick up a classy woman smelling like this."

"Here's an idea," Andy said as he dug out some mints from his pocket, "maybe you shouldn't order onion rings when you are trying to score. I mean," he shrugged, "just a thought."

"They're tasty, one of the best things to order here," Provenza said. "Thanks for the mints. Wish me luck," he patted Andy's arm as he stood. Andy rolled his eyes.

"So, you're good getting home?" Andy asked. "I'm ready to head out."

"I mean, I might call you in the morning to pick me up, but tonight," he patted Andy's back and nodded, "I'm fine. Thanks, Flynn. I need to get my mind off your dumb move, sleeping with Raydor, and get my head back in the game. Now, I'm expecting next week when we go out, that you will be over this little sleepover mess."

"Fine," Andy waved him off. "Have fun, Provenza."

"I'm feeling like a stallion tonight, Flynn," Provenza patted his shoulder again as he started to walk away.

"Don't forget to take your little blue pill," Andy called out loudly to Provenza, and when he turned back to Andy, horrified, Andy smirked and threw him a small wave. Provenza just scowled before he turned his attention to the woman across the bar.

It only took Andy another minute to collect his things and pay his bill, or rather, his bill along with Provenza's. The guy never paid for anything, but Andy had long ago accepted that. Regardless of the comments or taunting, Provenza was a true friend. He'd been there for Andy through it all, the drinking, the rough road to sobriety, the divorce-all of it. Likewise, Andy had been there for Provenza, through multiple divorces, and he'd watched Provenza fall in and out of love, sometimes as quickly as a kid could eat an ice cream cone. As Andy started for the door, he glanced one last time at Provenza, who was now seated next to the woman and apparently, turning on the charm. Provenza caught Andy's eye, and he gave him a single nod. He was okay. Andy threw him a small wave and stepped outside. There was still a chill in the air. Winter was hanging on, and he was ready for it to end. He moved quickly to his car, hoping it wouldn't be too cold inside. Sure, it wasn't that cold, but it was cold to him. Last he'd spoken to Sharon, she had mentioned it was snowing there in Flagstaff. After talking about her with Provenza, all Andy wanted to do was pick up the phone and call her. It had been a couple weeks. He'd given her plenty of space; a call was appropriate.

"Hi, Sharon," he said when she answered. It sounded like she was distracted because she'd greeted him with more of a business greeting, a 'This is Sharon Raydor,' greeting.

"Andy," she said, a little surprised and out of breath. Clearly, she hadn't checked her caller id. "Hi, I'm sorry. I ran to the phone. I fell asleep in Hannah's room, and I still feel half asleep."

"I'm sorry I woke you," he said in a very sincere tone. "I hadn't spoken to you in a couple weeks. Work has been busy for me," he said, hoping she would admit she could have called him, but she hadn't either.

"I'm sorry too," she sighed. "Hannah and I both had a cold last week. It's no excuse, but it zapped me. I was really dragging. Thankfully, it seemed worse for me than it did for her. We're better now, but for a couple days, I just wanted to sleep. With her congested, neither of us slept well. Anyway, we're on the mend. Now, I'm just trying to catch up on my sleep, which I'm not sure that will happen for 18 years."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he sighed as he drove. "I wish you would have told me. I mean, you're there on your own, and I'm not sure what I could have done to help, but I would have checked on you more."

"I didn't tell you to get sympathy or ask you to check on us," she sighed.

"I know," he nodded. "I just care. I'm glad to hear you are both feeling better."

The silence descended on them, and she finally broke it. "I can't believe Hannah is six months old now. Time is going so quickly."

"I know. It's really crazy she's been here that long," he told her.

"She's trying her hardest to roll from her back to her stomach," Sharon told him. "She's almost there. I also have been helping her sit up, but she can't hold that for more than a few seconds. It's funny because she'll just topple over if I don't have my hands right there. She finds that funny, and her little personality is really coming out more and more."

"I'd love to see pictures, video even," he told her.

"Ahh, I will," she said slowly as if she was almost thinking about it. "I will try to do that tomorrow."

"I'll take anything you have, whenever you have it," he told her. "So, tell me about you. How is work going?"

"Work?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, you know, the place you go most days to teach young impressionable co-ed's, work," he nodded. "I deal with dead bodies and dirt bags. You deal with young men and women, where I'm sure the guys are all thinking of how hot their teacher is."

"Trust me," she sighed. "There's no way they think that. I somehow went from the cool instructor to the tough as nails one. Apparently, my exams are a killer, and I demand a lot from the papers the students turn in for my class."

"I see," Andy nodded. "Somehow, I'm not surprised. You demand a lot of people, which is a good thing. You have always been good at your jobs, even when people don't like you. It's just a dislike of having to perform, having to put forth the effort."

"Whatever it is, I'm not sure I'm the popular instructor," she lightly chuckled.

"Hey, we both know I'm not exactly popular at work too. You're popular with me, and I try to be my best for you. You make me want to be a better person," he told her.

Sharon ignored that comment and returned to Hannah, "Hannah is eating more solid foods."

"I'm glad to hear that. I would like to see her sometime. I hope you will consider that," he said. "I didn't get to ask, but is your job renewed for next semester? I don't know how that works."

"Oh," she said, surprised he was asking more about her, "it is, yes. My contract is for a full year right now. I'm enjoying it very much. I also enjoy the flower shop. That has been a welcome surprise."

"You're still working there?" Andy asked. "Why didn't I know that? That's great, Sharon."

"Hmm, yes, we had agreed through Christmas, and she was great about that. After I started working at the university, I scaled back, to just Saturday mornings. That worked for a couple of weeks, with the understanding she was trying to hire a few college kids. That hasn't worked as she wanted, so I'm now on an as-needed basis. It's usually a day or so a week, just a couple hours, and she loves Hannah. It's an odd situation, a job I never expected to have, but it's fallen into my lap and enjoyable."

"I'm really glad you are enjoying it. I had no idea you were still doing that. Seems there's a lot we could discuss," he chuckled. "How are-" he was interrupted with a call on the other line. He glanced at the number, and he groaned loudly.

"Something wrong?" Sharon asked. "It sounds like you are driving."

"Hold on," he told her. "It's my call waiting. Looks like there's a dead body."

"Okay," she chuckled. "Anyone else might think that statement sounds disturbing. Look, I can let you go."

"No, no!" Andy exclaimed, worried if Sharon got off the phone, he wouldn't talk to her for some time. "Please, just give me a second."

"Okay," she told him. "I'll wait."

Andy chuckled too as he switched over to the chief, "Yes, Chief?"

"Andy, I'm sorry to call you, but I cannot get in touch with Lieutenant Provenza. I know he's often with you."

"Ahh, yeah, I just left him, but he was busy. He might not be able to hear his phone," he grimaced, hoping he wouldn't have to tell the chief exactly what Provenza was probably now doing. "Something I can do for you, Chief?"

"Ahh, yes, Chief Pope just called me. We have a case. Since the lieutenant is not answering, would you make the calls? Sounds like you might know how to find the lieutenant, so I will text you the address and meet you there. Make sure the lieutenant is with you."

"Sure, Chief," Andy said and sighed. "I'll take care of it."

"Thank you," Brenda told him, drawing out both words. He shook his head as the two hung up with each other, and he quickly switched back to Sharon.

"Sharon?" Andy asked, hoping she hadn't hung up the phone.

"I'm here. I just checked on Hannah again and am going to bed," she told him.

"Wow, that sounds great right now. I'm turning my car around as we speak," he said. "I need to pull over and call everyone. We have a case."

"Not that you aren't capable, but I thought Lieutenant Provenza did that," she pointed out to him.

"Yeah, well, let's just say that he's otherwise engaged. I am driving. I think you asked me that earlier. I'm driving home, or I was driving home. Now, I'm going back to work. Provenza and I had dinner. I left him with, well," he chuckled and let out a long sigh, "in the company of a lady."

"Oh," Sharon said. "I see."

"Just Provenza, though," he quickly told her. "Provenza is probably waiting for his pill to kick in," he chuckled. "Not me," he clarified. "I don't have that problem," he sighed, now certain Sharon was horrified at the topic. "At the bar, I wasn't talking to anyone. That's why I wanted to call you. I mean," he put his head on the back of his seat and sighed. "I mean, I wanted to call you. I was thinking of you. Provenza was giving me a hard time for not joining him with his lady friends. Anyway, I have been thinking of you."

"Andy, you know you are free to-" she paused, not sure how to word it.

"I'm calling you," he said in a reassuring tone. "I'm not sure when we can repeat your last trip, but that's what I think about often. I think of you. I know you said that would be it, but I hope it's not. I hope we can be together again. I'm not suggesting you do anything, but I'm telling you I had no interest tonight in any of those women."

"I'm not sure what-" she paused again, the silence now hanging.

"Look, this wasn't a call for any deep discussion. I miss you, Sharon. I miss Hannah. I'm going to call again. You told me you would call, remember? When we left the hotel, you and I promised we would try to at least speak to one another. I'm going to call again. I have to go to work right now, but I'll talk to you soon."

"I did agree to that, and I've thought of our time too. Thank you for calling. I appreciate you not smothering me with calls," she told him. "I will send you a new picture of Hannah. I should have done that already."

"Great," he smiled to himself. "I look forward to it. Get some rest, Sharon, and I'll talk to you soon. Give Hannah a kiss from me. Glad you are both feeling better."

"Bye, Andy. Be safe tonight," she told him. The two hung up, and Andy pulled into a parking lot to make his calls. The team would need to be assembled, and the first call he had to make was to Provenza, hoping the guy didn't hate him for calling and interrupting his night. He knew he'd interrupted Sharon's night, but that was a call he had been glad to make.

Sharon sat in her apartment in the silent darkness. She was exhausted. Her cold wasn't anything awful, but it had taken its toll on her. She was feeling every bit her age, and coupling that with an infant, she was worn out. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep in Hannah's room, sitting there in the rocking chair. She'd waited for Hannah to fall asleep, and in the interim, she'd fallen asleep. She didn't normally sit in Hannah's room like that as she tried to go to sleep. Sharon was a believer in putting her daughter to bed and quietly exiting her room. She'd been a little more cautious of Hannah with her cold because of her congestion. It was her first cold, and while again, it wasn't anything terrible, the nights were worse on her congestion. Tonight, though, Hannah was sounding much better and went to sleep easily. Apparently, Sharon did too. She was glad Andy had called if only because it had her waking up and not sleeping all night in the chair. Andy had called her. She had to admit it was nice speaking to him. She really should send him pictures and video of Hannah. What could that hurt? As she sat, she thought back to their night together, their most recent night together. It was a memory she went to often, something she thought of fondly. She had needed that night. He had been just what she needed, and while she had not planned for him to stay the night, it had been enjoyable too. Leaving the next day hadn't been as awkward as she'd imagined. He had not made any demands. He'd ordered breakfast for them, and when they were fed and dressed, he had walked her to the lobby, where, out of sight, he'd kissed her again and told her to be safe traveling. He'd squeezed her hand one last time and told her to kiss Hannah too. As she had turned to walk away, she heard him say, "I'll be calling you." That had been it. She was still cautious about his intentions and worried he was trying to use her to get to Hannah. Her mind was telling her lately that wasn't the case, but she couldn't fully accept that yet. She'd spent years working with people trying to stab others in the back. Her own husband had done it to her and had used her for anything and everything. Trust didn't come easily.

Andy, though, he appeared to be trying to earn her trust. Funny, he'd called and asked about her, SHARON. Yes, they'd spoken of Hannah, and he was both interested and worried about her, as she would hope, but he'd asked about her. They'd had a civil, no a pleasant conversation. He wanted to know about her work. She could do a better job of talking to him because aside from knowing he was going back to work tonight, she really didn't know much about what was going on in his life. It surprised her. She couldn't remember the last time a man really wanted to know about her. Most just WANTED her, in a bed, and then, after a couple hours, were ready to go on their way. Jack had been like that. Her adventure into "living freely" had been somewhat like that. She'd been like that too, not that she was really proud of that behavior anymore. She'd tried to be cold and matter of fact with men. Obviously, that wasn't working for her, but tonight, it had been nice to have a normal conversation. They hadn't yelled. He hadn't demanded to see Hannah. He'd simply said he would enjoy pictures and video of her. Andy. Sharon nodded to herself. Her problems were not going to be solved tonight, sitting alone in the dark. Funny, how now as she was getting up to go to bed, she started to think about how she'd had a nice evening. He'd called her. He'd asked about both of them. He'd been kind. She'd enjoyed talking to him, maybe? Sharon shook her head. Tonight, she needed sleep. Tomorrow, maybe, if she thought about it, she would send Andy some pictures of sweet Hannah.


	43. Chapter 43

The case was finally over, finally. Dirt bags killing dirt bags. That's what he always said, and sadly, it was always true. People could be scum, and he saw the worst in people almost every single day. It didn't help him to think people were good at heart. Andy sighed there at his desk and paused. He knew he was in a bad mood. The team had caught three nasty cases in a row, not that murders were ever good, but these three had been particularly gruesome. It was now March 30. His little Hannah was exactly seven months old today, something he thought of on the 30th of each month. He might not be in her life much, if at all right now, but he loved his little girl and thought of her all the time. This month had been a blur, really. He'd been going strong for almost three weeks with barely a day off. Sure, somewhere in the mix, he'd had a day off, what maybe a week or so ago? He couldn't even remember what day that had been, but he remembered spending it cutting his overgrown grass, doing an excessive amount of laundry, grocery shopping for his empty kitchen, and cleaning his house because he couldn't remember the last time he'd cleaned it. What a day off, and it was no wonder he didn't remember it that well. He did remember calling Sharon that day. He'd spoken to her more the last few weeks than he had in months, not that it was saying all that much. He'd spoken to her once a week, except when she'd been with her parents in Phoenix. That wasn't something he wanted to interrupt. That was progress. Even better, Sharon had sent him several photos of Hannah. She'd started sitting up on her own and rolling over, both ways now. Hannah had changed a lot this month, and he had seen some of that. She'd actually sent him a video of her sitting up, which was funny to watch because he basically looked on as his daughter sat there. That was amazing, though because it did show she was hitting different milestones. Her hair was getting longer and darker. He loved it, and every single time he looked into those gorgeous eyes of hers, he saw Sharon.

His mood was crappy; he knew it, so as he sat at his desk writing up his latest report, he paused and pulled out his phone. He needed his Hannah. He opened his photos to look at the most recent ones of her. Sharon wasn't going crazy sending pictures, but she had sent him a dozen or so over the month. Progress. He knew it. He smiled at them as he turned away from prying eyes working nearby. Hannah was apparently a water baby; she'd spent last week in Phoenix with Sharon visiting Sharon's parents, and they had all taken her to the pool. Three of the dozen or so pictures he now had of Hannah were from the pool, and in each one, she was smiling and happy. He just couldn't stop staring at her, this beautiful little girl he'd helped create. He loved her so much it almost hurt, and he just wanted to be in her life.

"Lieutenant are you already lining up a date for tonight?" Gabriel asked him and started to laugh. "I like your thinking. Time to unwind after a crazy month." Andy glanced up and saw Gabriel eying him. He was sure Gabriel knew he was on his phone.

"I'm just glad we get a couple days off after tomorrow," Julio added. "Leave it to Pope to make us come in for some mandatory training."

"You know Pope hasn't worked the last three weeks straight," Provenza added. "No, he'd never let that happen, but it's okay for all of us to do that. Still making us come in tomorrow," Provenza grumbled. "That training could wait until next week. He's an idiot."

"Lieutenant, who is your date tonight?" Gabriel asked glancing toward Andy. Andy closed up his pictures and turned back to the team. He shook his head.

"No date, just checking a text I had from earlier," he said as he shrugged his shoulders. "I can't wait to get out of here."

"Well, good work Andy and Julio, getting that suspect to confess. Chief is probably irritated her charm didn't work this time," Mike chuckled.

"Chief is good, but sometimes, it just takes a different approach," Andy smirked.

"Yeah, the threat of harm usually works," Julio laughed. The team all started laughing. Yes, Julio's threatening antics had worked with the latest suspect, and now, they were all just typing up reports before they could go home.

Andy's phone rang, and the sound of it caused everyone to jump. It had been one of those quiet moments no one expected to be interrupted with a noise. Andy sighed and started to pull on his phone, which he had clipped on his waist.

"No date, right?" Gabriel grinned and nodded. "Bet that's the woman now calling to confirm the date and location. Lieutenant," he said looking to Provenza before he continued, "do you have a date too? We all know what happened with that last one," he kept laughing as Provenza looked up at him, clearly irritated.

"Yeah, well, next time a rollout comes when I'm otherwise occupied, just tell the chief I'm dead. That was extremely embarrassing, and it was even worse I'd taken my pill," he grumbled. The team all laughed as Andy answered his phone. He frowned at the caller id and answered it with his work tone.

"Lieutenant Andy Flynn, how may I help you?" Andy said into the phone as he stood. The team all turned to look at him, surprised at the formal greeting, intrigued at his business call." Andy wasn't sure why he was being called, but it was a surprise.

"Lieutenant, this is Gavin Baker," he heard, and Andy nodded as he continued to step away from the team. He gave them a quick nod as he walked down the hall to find a quiet corner.

"Gavin, this is a surprise. What can I do for you? I'm not aware of anyone with a lawsuit pending against me right now," Andy said.

"Lieutenant, Andy," he corrected himself, "this isn't a professional call. Have you spoken to Sharon?"

"Sharon?" Andy repeated her name in a questioning tone. He glanced around to make sure he was alone in the hallway.

"Yes, Sharon. I certainly know the woman. It's obvious you know her too, very well, in fact. You know, mother to Hannah, my best friend, the woman you slept with several times, most recently on her last trip to Los Angeles?"

Andy sighed and ran his hand over his face. It didn't surprise him Gavin knew about that; Provenza did too, to an extent, but he sighed and shook his head, wondering what game Gavin was playing.

"Gavin, of course, I know. I'm at work and am just caught a little off guard at you, an attorney by trade, calling me at work, wanting to discuss Sharon," he explained.

"By your surprise, I can tell you haven't spoken to her," Gavin stated.

"No, not today. I've been swamped by a case. We just caught a break, and the dirt bag confessed. That never happens. Work has been terrible. I spoke to her a few days ago after she got back home from her spring break trip to Phoenix, and she sent me a picture of Hannah that day. Why?" Andy asked. "Wait, is she okay? Oh," he took a labored breath, "is Hannah okay?"

"Lieutenant, Andy," he corrected himself again, "Sharon's mother died."

Andy took a step back against the wall. He felt like he'd been hit with something, and it took his breath away. He paused, trying to find his words, but before he could, Gavin spoke again.

"Lieutenant are you still there?" Gavin asked. "I'm sorry to tell you."

"Yeah," Andy finally said as he nodded. He ran his hand over his face again and just sighed. He dropped his head as he continued to speak. "Sharon's mom died?"

"She did. It happened earlier today, fast, instantly," he corrected. "They believe she had a massive heart attack. She's always been in good health, but she died very quickly. Apparently, she was out on her back patio, watering a few flowers, and she collapsed. The little information I have, the paramedics were unable to resuscitate her there; they believe she died before anyone could do anything."

"Oh, that's awful," Andy sighed. He took another deep breath and shook his head. "I can't believe it. Sharon never mentioned health issues with her parents. Sure, they are older, but still. She was just there last week," he added, one of the reasons he hadn't spoken to her more during March.

"I know," Gavin said. "There was no warning, nothing to prepare anyone."

"How's Sharon?" Andy asked. "I can't even imagine this for her. She has to be devastated."

"She is," Gavin said, "but she said she was going to call you. I told her I would check in with you after I finished in court, which I just did. She hasn't called?"

"No, but wait," Andy paused to think, "hold on. My phone doesn't alert me with missed calls. It's supposed to do that, but it has never worked right. I've dealt with my cell phone company a few times, and the morons can't fix it." Andy pulled the phone from his ear and clicked around. He saw that, indeed, he'd missed a call from Sharon, now three hours ago. He went back over the time in his mind, and he and Julio had been in with their suspect. His phone, he'd left at his desk.

"Gavin, I missed a call from her three hours ago when I was dealing with the dirt bag," he sighed.

"I don't think she wanted anything from you, but she did say she would let you know what had happened. Let's be honest, Lieutenant-she's got a lot going on, and she isn't sure what role she wants you to play in her life or Hannah's," Gavin told him.

"Yeah," Andy nodded, "I'm aware of that, which is why I've been trying to give her space, at the same time stay connected to her. It's a tricky thing to do, and the last month, we've been talking about once a week, and then, she's sent me a few pictures of Hannah."

"Well, all I know is she doesn't have a plan or know what she wants, but this now, this will hit her very hard. She and her mother were close," he explained.

Andy nodded again as he listened, "I know she didn't want to live right there near them in Phoenix, but they were one of the reasons she moved back to Arizona. This is a blow. I should do something."

"I'm on my way to Phoenix. I'm first on my way home, but my assistant booked my flight to Phoenix. I'm going tonight. The family is still scrambling to get everyone there, but Sharon mentioned it was going to be hard for Emily to get much time off to be there. That sounds absurd, but you know how work can be for different professions. With all of that, I believe they are already thinking about the funeral the day after tomorrow. One thing about her parents, they were planners. They had done one of those funeral preparation seminars a couple years ago, so most things are set. They have a plot, they have the funeral home they want to use, and I think she had even planned some of the specifics. Their friends live right there, and let's face it-they are going to funerals somewhat often. Morbid, I know, but that's Sharon and her family for you," Gavin said.

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me," Andy told him. "I want to be there."

"I can't tell you what to do, but I will remind you that no one in her family knows about you, about who you are, about anything related to Hannah. I will caution you that this might not be the time to roll in and say, 'Surprise, I'm the man who rolled around in the sheets with your daughter/mother,' if you catch what I'm saying. Look, I'm not suggesting you stay away, but if you are going to come, I would tread lightly and perhaps be there, but from a distance."

Andy nodded again, not that Gavin could see any of that. He let out a long breath, "Yeah, thanks. That's good advice, and I do need to think about that. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, but I want to help if I can. I don't know, but maybe she will need help with Hannah and let me do something."

"Well, she's expecting me. I've got my travel plans set. Let me know what you decide to do," he told Andy.

"I'm going to be there, Gavin. I will sit in the back. I won't even go to the funeral if that's what she wants, but I'm going to do the right thing. This is my daughter's grandmother. The mother of my daughter lost her mother. I'm a decent guy; I try to do the right thing, and I will be there. I'll try to get in touch with Sharon here when I leave work. I'm guessing I won't get a flight until tomorrow. I know I can drive, but I'm not sure I want to do that. I'll look at both options, and I'll let you know. Gavin, thanks for telling me," Andy told him.

"You're welcome. I do think that is the right choice, come to show support, but let Sharon decide what that is," he said.

"I'm going to deal with work, but I will be there for the funeral. I'll be in touch," he said and hung up the phone.

Andy put his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He just needed a moment to collect his thoughts and think, a moment of silence. He took a deep breath and thought while he had this brief moment. Sharon would be devastated; he had not doubt about that. He didn't want to be a burden, but he wanted to be there, in any capacity. Gavin was right about one thing; he didn't want to swoop in and announce to her whole family who he was and cause a mess. He didn't want to embarrass her. She deserved better than that. He didn't even know what people would say or thing because it would all come out, that he'd signed away his rights, but he was trying to be a father to Hannah and a significant person in Sharon's life. No, he wouldn't do that, but he would go. He'd help with Hannah if she wanted, if she would let him. He'd offer his support because that is what he could do, and that is what people did when they cared about each other. He opened his eyes, and the sounds of the office seemed to flood back into his head. He could hear people talking, people moving around, phones ringing. He'd had a brief moment to gather his thoughts and knew what he needed to do. He clipped his phone back onto his holder, and he pushed off the wall. He really felt like he'd taken a blow, and he didn't even know Sharon's mother. He felt for her, though, for Sharon, her dad, the kids, all of them. It was never easy to lose a loved one, and possibly harder to lose a loved one so suddenly. Andy took a deep breath and started back toward his desk where he noticed the team was hard at work. He saw Provenza glance toward him as he walked, and Andy nodded to him, indicating he needed to talk to him. Provenza returned the greeting with a small single nod, and Andy walked beyond his desk and started to the hallway. He walked into the hallway and down it to the break room. As he turned around, Provenza was walking inside.

"Something about your cryptic phone call has rattled you. What's going on?" Provenza asked as he closed the door.

Andy raised an eyebrow at him, "You can tell that much from a nod in the office?"

Provenza started to name points by extending his finger, "I'm a detective, I know you well, you made a beeline for the break room, and I'm a detective who knows you well."

Andy frowned at him, "You already said that."

Provenza shrugged, "Prove me wrong. So, why was I summoned here? I don't think you need help making coffee."

Andy frowned and put his hand on the back of his neck as he looked down and then back to Provenza, "That was Gavin. Sharon's mom died."

Provenza's eyes widened, as he didn't expect anything like that. He shook his head at Andy, "Was she sick? I mean, I know that doesn't really matter, but Flynn, I'm sorry to hear that."

Andy sighed, "It was sudden, as in no warning. She had a massive heart attack, died instantly from what I know. I haven't spoken to Sharon yet. I missed a call from her while we were dealing with that trash of a suspect. She has to be devastated. She and her mom were close."

Provenza just nodded as he listened. He looked to Andy and gave him a small nod, "So, what are you going to do?"

Andy let out his breath and gave a small shrug, "I'm going to Phoenix. I have to go. I realize we are supposed to be here for that stupid class tomorrow, but I'm going, Provenza. This is Sharon, the mother of my daughter, the woman I'm emotionally invested in more and more each day. I need to go. I'm not sure what support I can offer Sharon, but I'm going to do anything and be there for her in whatever way she will allow me."

"I didn't realize you were feeling poorly, Flynn," Provenza gave him a look, one to convey he was trying to help. "I think whatever ailment you have, you really need to stay home and rest tomorrow. We're off Friday, so it's just tomorrow you are missing. That gives you then also the weekend to deal with things, and I'm assuming you will feel better and could be back to work on Monday?"

Andy nodded, "Yeah, that will work. I can be back. Gavin mentioned they would probably have the funeral sooner than later, that Sharon's parents had things already planned," he shook his head. "Crazy, but in a way, knowing Sharon, that doesn't surprise me her parents would be that prepared."

"Well, let's get you out of here, then. I'm not insensitive; I realize that while your situation with the captain is a mess, you should go. Whatever is or isn't going on with the captain, she has a mess-a parent to bury, kids to console, family to grieve with through all this, and an infant who still depends on her. Are you almost done with your reports?"

"I've got about an hour to go," Andy explained. "I'll finish up everything here, head home, and I'll figure out my plans. I can fly or drive, whatever is going to be the easies and most efficient."

Provenza nodded to him, "Well, I'll help if you need it. I'll cover tomorrow and tell the chief you are run down from the month we've had. You don't need to call her; I'll tell her I spoke to you. I'm going to get back to work myself and head home. I had thought about getting something to eat, but with the last few weeks and now this from you, I think I just want to get out of here too."

Andy nodded, "Thanks, Provenza. Thanks for being a friend, for covering for me. I appreciate it and know I would do the same for you."

Provenza nodded, but then he made a face, "Yes, but I wouldn't be in the middle of a mess with an infant daughter, a woman who drives everyone crazy, the same woman, for whatever reason, loses all sense of control around you. You must be quite the good time, Flynn, if she keeps coming back. Still, I know you would have my back in a mess. This qualifies. I don't know what to say, other than I hope it works out for the best, and I hope you get to spend some time with Hannah.

The door opened, and Pope walked inside with his coffee mug. He frowned at them, "Gentlemen," he nodded. "I'm in search of coffee."

"Flynn here," Provenza nodded, "isn't feeling well. I just came to check on him."

Andy gave a small nod, and Pope took a step to the side, like he was trying to avoid him, "I hope it's not contagious," he shook his head. "I don't want to be sick."

"Never know," Andy shrugged. "I'm going to get back to work, see if I can get my reports finished. Thanks for checking on me, Provenza."

"I'm going to get out of here myself," Provenza said. "Night."

Andy, Provenza, and the rest of the team spent just over another hour trying to close out the case. Andy was distracted, but he knew he needed to focus in order to get out of the office. He wanted to call Sharon. He was sure she had a million things on her mind, had a million calls to make, but he wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice. Instead, he opted to send her a text message when he got to his car.

"I am so very sorry about your mom. I know it is a shock, and you have a million things to do. Call me if you want, when you get a chance. I hate I missed your call, but I was with a suspect. I'm headed home now, and I'm thinking of you and your family," he told her.

Andy continued his drive home, going over in his mind what he would need to do. He'd check flights, but honestly, with the last-minute fares and still needing a rental car, it seemed like it would be easier to drive. He knew Gavin was flying, and he nodded to himself as he thought about it. This would work. He picked up his phone to call Gavin, hoping he wasn't already in the air.

"Gavin, it's Andy," he said and then clarified, "Andy Flynn."

"Yes, Lieutenant, I am aware of your full name," Gavin said. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, for starters, let's drop the formalities. I'm Andy, and you are Gavin, none of this business junk when we are dealing with a personal issue."

"I'm good with that," Gavin said. "Did you decide what you want to do?"

"Oh, I'm going to Phoenix," Andy said. "My mind didn't change on that, but I was thinking about my travel."

"Well, I'm at the airport now, "Gavin said.

"I just left work, and that's what I was thinking. I think it would make the most sense for me to drive. It's about six hours. I can leave before dawn and hopefully, even with traffic, be there by lunch. If you are okay hanging with me, we can share my car. You know the area better, at least I think so, and then, I'll have a car."

"I've been to Phoenix with Sharon before, so yes, I know the area a little. The car situation would work fine with me. Thank you. I was going to take the airport shuttle tonight. Sharon had said she would let me use a car of theirs tomorrow, but I do hate to bother her."

"Does Sharon know I'm coming for the funeral?" Andy asked. "I haven't spoken to her yet."

"No, I didn't mention it. I felt that wasn't my place. She mentioned she wanted to inform you, as I told you, and that's why I felt comfortable calling you, but outside of that, I haven't mentioned you coming. My only other interaction with her has been a couple of brief texts, but that was now a few hours ago. I'd say she's on her way or already in Phoenix. She had to scramble to get things together, walk away from work, and collect Hannah."

"Right," Andy nodded and sighed. He hated that for Sharon, that she had to do that all alone, that she had to worry so much about Hannah too with her being so little. He would have helped. He wanted to help.

"Okay, well, let's just deal with telling Sharon tomorrow. I'm not going to up and surprise her with all her family there, but I'll let her know when I speak to her," Andy explained.

"That's your call," Gavin said, "but, I agree it's the best idea."

"Okay, I am heading to my house right now. I'll get packed up and get a few hours of sleep before I get on the road," Andy told him.

"Do you have a hotel?" Gavin asked.

"No," Andy frowned as he realized he hadn't thought about that. "I can book something when I get home."

"No need," Gavin told him. "I always book a suite. I'll just have my assistant upgrade it even more. I can get a bigger suite for the two of us to share, that is, if you don't mind."

"Mind? Thanks, that would be great and sounds better than anywhere I normally stay. Let me know my share, and I'll cover it," Andy told him.

"Oh, please," Gavin chuckled. "No need to worry about it. I like to travel in luxury. It's nothing, especially considering what I was just paid for a settlement. Besides, I appreciate how you've handled things with Sharon, so just consider this my thanks."

"Umm, okay," Andy said slowly. "I'll get on the road tomorrow. If you will text me the hotel information, I will drive to it and stop on the way into town."

"Perfect," Gavin told him. "I will let you know if plans change for the morning. Sharon may need some help. I told her I'd do whatever she needed."

"Of course," Andy nodded. "You're a good friend, Gavin."

"Thank you," he said. "Sharon means the world to me, and it seems to reason you and I should be able to work together through all of this."

"Safe flight, and I'll see you tomorrow," Andy told him. "Night."

Andy finished his drive home, going through his packing list in his head. He couldn't believe this, that Sharon was having to deal with this mess. He hated it for her. It was hard to lose a parent; he'd been through it too. He hated Hannah wouldn't know her grandmother, either grandmother for what it was worth. Life was hard.

As Andy pulled into his driveway, it hit him that he was supposed to have dinner with his kids on Saturday night. He smacked the steering wheel, the reality that he would once again, have to cancel, something he didn't want to face. He'd already had to cancel twice during the month. The cases had been insane, and while it was work and couldn't do anything about it, he hated it. He knew his kids thought he was a deadbeat already, and this wouldn't help.

Andy unlocked his front door and walked inside as he pulled up Nicole's number. He'd start with her and hope for the best. He walked through the house, toward the kitchen, as the phone dialed, and he took off his tie.

"Nic," he smiled when she answered. "Hey, I'm sorry to be calling so late, Sweetheart."

"Dad, it's not that late. It's what, about 10:00. This is a surprise. Are you just getting home from work?" she asked.

"I am," he nodded as he opened his refrigerator to survey its contents. He didn't find much, so he closed that and opened his cabinet. It wasn't homemade, but hey, it was food. He was hungry, and he just wanted something to eat. He had a couple cans of soup for nights like this, so he pulled out chicken noodle and opened it when he spoke to her.

"Yeah, I just walked in my door, and I'm trying to dig up something for dinner," he explained.

"It's late, Dad," she told him.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'm aware. So, it's late for dinner, but not for a call?"

"I guess," she sighed, not wanting to joke around with him. "How was work?"

"Busy, bad," he sighed. "We have one more dirt bag off the street, though, so that is a good thing. Listen, you know work has been terrible for me this month."

"This sounds like a cancellation call. We were supposed to get dinner Saturday. In fact, Mom said she could join us too," Nicole told him.

Andy held back a grunt. He was almost glad to cancel this dinner, almost, and that was only because Sandra was trying to sabotage his time with the kids. They were grown adults, and she couldn't just leave things alone. He shook his head as he stood in his kitchen.

"Nic, I'm really sorry to cancel, but yes, I need to reschedule. Look, it's an emergency," he told her. "You know I love you and Nate. This isn't me just looking for something else to do. I have to attend a funeral."

"Right, because funerals are held in the evening, especially on a Saturday night," Nicole said with a sarcastic tone. "Whatever, Dad. It's fine."

"Now, you listen," Andy said almost harshly. "I do have to go to a funeral. It's out of state, Arizona. It's a friend."

"A friend out of state?" Nicole asked. "I didn't know you had friends in Arizona, but it's fine. Nate and I will just go over to see Mom or something. It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal to me, Nic," Andy sighed. "I love you both, and I do want to see you. Could we reschedule? I know Easter is coming up soon. I won't ask you to change any plans for that, but what about coming to my house for brunch that weekend? We could do Saturday, and that still leaves you for Easter."

"Dad, it's not a big deal," she said again.

"Please, Nic," Andy pleaded. "It's a big deal to me. This funeral, I need to go, but I'd like to see you both soon."

"I think that will work," she told him. "If work gets in the way, just let me know."

"Great," Andy knocked his hand on his counter. "I really appreciate it, and I'm sorry I keep canceling. I'm not going to tell you work won't get in the way again, but I am trying, Nic."

"Okay, well, I guess have a good weekend. I mean, I don't know what to say about going to a funeral, which sounds weird anyway, but whatever," she told him.

"You have a good weekend. I love you, and I'm going to call your brother now," he said.

"Oh, he's here," she told him. "He came over to eat dinner with me because I actually cooked, and he fell asleep on the couch. I'll tell him, Dad."

"Well, I'd like to talk to him, but I don't want you to disturb him. I'll send him a message instead, but I love you both," Andy said.

"Bye, Dad," Nic said and hung up the phone.

Andy stood there in his kitchen and looked around at everything. His personal life was a disaster. He had three kids, an ex-wife, and a Sharon. Two of the kids hated him. The third might too, especially after she heard he'd signed her away like a title to an old car. What had he done with his life? He'd made a mess of it for sure. Death. Death could come at any moment for anyone. A day like today, getting news like this, it seemed to put things into perspective. Sharon's mom had been healthy, but she was gone. It could happen to anyone. He wondered what kind of mess he would leave for his kids. Right now, he was in the middle of a big one, and that just confirmed he needed to do something to fix it, all of it. He needed to fix things with his kids, all of them. Nic and Nate didn't know anything about Sharon or Hannah, and he wasn't sure what to tell them now. Hannah wasn't legally his, and that would make him look like an even bigger jerk to Nic and Nate. They barely tolerated him, and he was their legal father. News like he had could destroy things forever. And, Sharon, he sighed as he thought about things. What was going on with Sharon? Her mom's death would be a blow. She'd have a lot to deal with, trying to accept that. He didn't know how she would respond. He only knew he needed to do what he could to help.

Andy looked over at his soup, and he saw it was almost ready to eat. He glanced at his watch. He had a few hours, a few hours to eat, pack, sleep, and get on the road. He really wanted to talk to Sharon, but he'd let her call him. He'd reached out with his text earlier, and if nothing else, he'd see her soon. The weekend was going to be a mess, but he was going to do his best to help, not hurt, the situation.


	44. Chapter 44

He'd been on the road already almost two hours, and he was just starting to see the morning light. It was early, still, very early. Normally, he'd be starting his commute to work because he did have a long commute, but today, he was heading to Arizona, Phoenix to be exact, to offer whatever support he could to Sharon. This wasn't a trip about seeing Hannah, although, he was hoping to have a chance to do that, but it was to be a friend, at least, to Sharon. The trip wasn't going too badly so far. He'd been stopped for almost 10 minutes in early morning road construction, but otherwise, he was moving along okay. He would need food and gas soon. He wasn't on a time schedule to get there, but he wanted to get there as soon as he could, for Sharon, to do anything he could for her. As he drove the open road, now out in the desert, he thought back to the last time he'd traveled through Phoenix. He thought about the trip from Phoenix to Los Angeles he'd made with Sharon, in her car, when this mess had started. It now seemed like a million years ago, the two of them, riding along across the country. So much had happened. Back then, he'd barely been able to stand looking her in the eye, preferring the darkness of the hotel rooms where they could almost complete their arrangement each night and go their separate ways. He'd been embarrassed to be with her, Captain Raydor, while intrigued to learn about her night after night, day after day. While she'd been so cold and matter of fact during those nights, he had enjoyed getting to know her during the day, as much as she would reveal. Since that time, they'd created Hannah, and she had become not just a tiny peanut inside Sharon, but a beautiful baby girl he now couldn't imagine walking away and never seeing her. His thoughts were interrupted with his phone, and he sighed at it, hoping it wasn't Pope or Chief ordering him to the office.

He almost dropped his phone, which he had sitting on the passenger seat, when he saw it was Sharon. He quickly switched to his speakerphone mode, a nice feature in his new car, and answered the phone.

"Sharon," he said softly, "I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Thank you," she said as he heard her let out a long breath. "I can't tell you how many times I've already heard that, and you'd think it would get easier to hear it, to realize what people are saying, what it really means, but I think it was just as hard to hear you say it as it was the first person who said it to me yesterday."

"I can imagine. I have been thinking about you; I can't stop thinking about you," he told her. "I've said more than one prayer for your family."

"I appreciate that," she sighed. "I hope I'm not waking you or bothering your drive to work. I realize it's early there; it just dawned on me how early. I am sorry I called right now, but everyone will be up soon with a million things to do, and your last text said to call anytime. I'm sorry I missed it last night. I was up talking to my dad, and I fell asleep on the couch," she told him.

"No explanation needed, just as I told you in my text to call anytime if you wanted to talk. You aren't bothering me. I wasn't asleep, but I am in the car. Sharon, I'm on my way to Phoenix," he explained.

The silence followed. It didn't last long, but for a few seconds, there was an almost awkward silence. He thought he heard Sharon let out a long breath, and then she finally spoke, "You're coming to Phoenix?"

"I am, and I don't want you to freak out or worry. I've given this a lot of thought. I'm not coming there to blow our issues wide open, to expose everything to your family. That's what I don't want to do. I've talked to Gavin a couple of times, and he agrees with me that I can still be there to support you, but I can stay in the background. Look, I just want to be there for you, and you may not understand it, but I want to be there. You can talk to me or not, but I will do anything you need. If you want me to watch Hannah, I will. If you just want to scream at me because you have all these emotions about your mom, you can do that too. I'm not coming for a fight; I'm not coming to upset you. I'm coming to offer support. Gavin is your best friend, and I know you didn't bat an eye when he said he would come, and while you and I have a very complicated situation, I hope you will see this as me being a friend at least."

"You're on your way to Phoenix?" she asked. "Now?"

"I couldn't sleep, at least not very well. I've been on the road two hours now, so yeah, I'm on my way. Pending gas and a food stop, I should be there by lunchtime. I'm going to stay with Gavin and in exchange, haul him around in my car. Things are all set. This isn't to put more on your plate, and I promise, I am not holding you to a behavior or action. If you want to talk to me, fine, and if you want to ignore me, well," he sighed, "I can take it. Death is hard, and emotions are all over the place. I get it. My ma died a few years ago, so I've been there," he explained.

"I'm, I'm, I'm overwhelmed," she finally said and did let out a long breath. "I don't know what to say or think."

"Don't say anything about it. Just breathe. Focus on what you have to do today. Tell me what's on your mind at this moment. I can listen," he said.

"I didn't try to call you yesterday expecting you or even wanting you to drop everything and come to Phoenix," she told him.

"I understand that," he said and continued, "so, why did you call? You wanted to tell me about your mom. You say you didn't call to ask me to come to you, so what was the reason? I am really glad you called. Do not think I'm critiquing you, but what's going on in your head?"

Sharon was quiet a moment, and finally, he heard her clear her voice, 'I suppose in my thoughts, in collecting everything, in looking at Hannah, I felt like I should tell you. I suppose when I thought about the people I have been talking to lately, you were on that list. Of course, I called my kids. I called Gavin. I spoke to work. I spoke to a couple others in Flagstaff, and as I looked at Hannah, I just felt this need to call you too."

"Well," Andy said softly, "thank you. Whatever the reason, I really appreciate you picking up the phone to call me. I am glad you did and would have done the same. This is as important as life gets, and I will support you however you need." Andy had more to say on this topic too, but he held back. He wanted to ask Sharon about her comment, that when she looked at Hannah, she thought of him. He wondered if that was happening more and more because he knew when he looked at the pictures he had of Hannah, he saw Sharon. He thought of Sharon, and while he wanted to ask her so much about that, this was not the time.

"I don't know what I need, if you can understand that. Ahh," she sighed, and he heard her sniffle. "Hannah will be up soon. She's so sweet, even with all the sadness. She has no idea what is going on, of course, and she just keeps smiling. That has helped. Ricky arrives this afternoon. He had an exam this morning, and I am worried his focus will be on this and not on his test. I need him to do well with his studies. He said his classes for Friday were not a problem to miss, but he was going to email his professors. He is flying in today. Emily is in the air, and I think I will just feel better when I can get eyes on my kids, when I can hug all of them. I'm here with Dad. You know, growing up, there's good and bad to being an only child. This, here, it's hard today. It's really hard. I feel like I have such a hole in my heart."

"That's why I'm coming to Phoenix. I know this is hard. I care about you, Sharon, even if you don't understand that. This is what people do. I know I rely on my sister for a lot, so being an only child, I'm sure this is even harder," he added.

"Honestly, it was one of the reasons I wanted Ricky," she explained. "I didn't want Emily to grow up alone. It was important to me to have kids, siblings for one another. If I was really honest about my marriage to Jack, things were already rocky before Ricky was born, but I am so glad he and Emily grew up together. Hannah," she sighed, "even if she is growing up like an only child, she at least has Emily and Ricky."

Andy held back again. He wanted to say so much. He wanted to point out that Hannah had two sisters and two brothers, but he didn't. He couldn't go there right now. Sharon had too much on her mind, and he didn't want to argue or challenge her now. He let the comment go, for now, and he turned his focus.

"Like I said, I'll be there around lunch. I'm going to the hotel. How can I help? Don't stress thinking about it, but if there's anything I can do, I will do it."

"I'm not sure," she told him. "I mean, Dad and I are going to the funeral home this afternoon. Emily will be in by then. I'm going to get Emily at the airport here this morning when she lands. I want to be the one to get her. Ricky lands later, and I'll need to work our time at the funeral home around Ricky's flight."

"What about Hannah?" he asked. "I'm asking, not that I'm concerned for her care, but she's a baby, Sharon. She doesn't need to consume your time today when you have so much on your plate."

"Hannah is helping," she said with a waver in her voice. He could tell she was on the verge of crying. "She can nap here with Dad when I get Emily. We'll just take her with us this afternoon. I'm sure Emily will want to go along."

"Look, this isn't the time to argue or get into anything, but could I help with Hannah, if that doesn't cause too much trouble for you?" he asked. "I would love to help."

She let out a long sigh, "Gavin offered the same."

"If you are okay with it, perhaps he and I can take care of Hannah. Look, you can leave me out of it. I'll just be the guy traveling with Gavin," he let out a low chuckle. "People can take that for how they want."

"I'll think about it. I hate having her out of my sight today. Life is just too short," she sniffled.

"I know," he nodded to himself.

"Ricky," she said quickly. "Ricky gets in around 4:00. I have his information here."

"I have my car. Would you like Gavin to get him? I wouldn't mind, but I know explaining who I am is the problem," he told her. "I could send Gavin with my car. He knows Ricky. Look, I guess between Gavin and myself, we could get Ricky and take care of Hannah. I won't pressure you, but we are there for you."

"Thank you," she let out a labored breath. "That might be the best, so I can focus on Dad and everything we need to do. I need to go through my mom's closet and pick out something," she paused, and Andy could hear her start to cry. He let her have her moment, and then she came back on the phone. "I'll let you know as I get going this morning."

"I'll be there by lunch," he said.

"I hear Hannah," she said. "I should go."

"Take care of yourself too, Sharon," Andy said quietly.

"I will," she told him. She was quiet another moment, and then she said, "Andy, thank you for doing this."

"Anything," he said. "Anything."

The two hung up, and Andy continued his drive. He hit a little more road construction that slowed him again. He wasn't surprised to see all the construction now. It was the best time of the year to be working in the desert. It was hot, but it wasn't anything compared to how the summer months would be. Work was at least tolerable right now. Andy made his stop for gas and food, and by 12:30, he was in the vicinity of the hotel Gavin had booked. He whistled as he pulled into it, trying to get a glimpse of it, and he rolled his eyes when he realized that, of course, Gavin would be at a place with a valet. He didn't mind them, but it couldn't be simple enough for him to just park his car. Gavin, and really Sharon, for that, were out of his league, way out of his league. After dealing with the valet and declining the assistance with his luggage, he walked inside, his suit bag draped over his arm and his rolling suitcase at his side. He looked around, his text from Gavin telling him he was eating lunch in the restaurant, and Andy walked toward it. He saw Gavin walking toward him and stopped to talk to him.

"Andy," he said as he walked up to him, a small frown on his face. "Sorry we have to be here for this."'

"Gavin," Andy nodded to him. "I really appreciate the room, the call, everything. Thanks again. It's really unfortunate."

"I just spoke to Sharon," Gavin told him.

Andy looked to him and nodded, "I spoke to her early this morning. How is she doing now? She was okay, upset, but okay, this morning. She was focusing on the details, and I have a feeling that is what is keeping her going right now."

"Yes, agreed," Gavin told him. "I will say the silver lining in all of this is we are on kid-duty this afternoon," he clasped his hands together. "Hannah and big brother Ricky are our responsibility. Now, I'm going to let you have first dibs on which Raydor you would like in your care, and before you answer, I'm just going to go ahead and ask for your car keys, so I can pick up Ricky," he flashed a small smirk and soft smile.

Andy's eyes widened, "Sharon agreed to let me keep Hannah this afternoon?"

Gavin gave a small shrug, "Well, she admitted she needs some help. You know how big that is for her. Knowing you spoke to her earlier, this makes a lot more sense. She seemed very much okay with the plan. Hannah will need a nap, here," he nodded to the hotel, "and, then maybe you can play with her or take her on a walk. Sharon was a little worried about the logistics of everything, like a travel crib, the car seat, all of that, but I told her that we would just go by one of those large baby stores and get a few things. What's a few hundred dollars right now, at least to me? I just want to help Sharon."

"Same," Andy nodded as he thought. He wanted to laugh at Gavin's flippant comments about money, but the guy did make a ton of money. A small smile formed, "Yeah, I'll get anything she needs. Okay, let me drop off my bags, and then, we can go. What time do we need to get Hannah?"

"2:00 if we can get over there," he told him. "Look, Sharon did ask that I come to get her. She doesn't want to explain you, and I hope you understand."

Andy dropped his head slightly as he nodded, "Yeah, I get it. I mean, I don't want to make this a mess. I figured we would just tell people we are here for Sharon."

"That's what I'm going to say too," Gavin nodded. "Ricky's flight is already delayed out of San Francisco. He'd now due in at 6:00. I was thinking that we could stop by the baby place, and while you collect the few things for the day, I'll go get Hannah. She and I can swing by and get you on the way here. I know the hotel has those travel cribs sometimes, but," he made a face. "Uncle Gavin won't allow that."

Andy chuckled, "Agreed. We can get the car seat first. I know how to install those, and when you get Hannah, I'll get a few other things."

"Sharon said she would text one of us with a list," Gavin told him.

Andy pulled out his phone, and he saw a text had arrived a few minutes earlier. He hadn't heard it with the lobby noise and Gavin. He held up his phone, "Got it," and as he looked at it, he nodded, "She's sending a couple bottles and the diaper bag. She also said she'd have the stroller at the door. Really, she said the car seat and travel crib are about all she needs."

"Yes, I told her I didn't want her trying to pack up that crib or mess with the car seat, no matter how easy she said it was. My motto is to just throw money at a problem, and this is the perfect example."

"I'll be right back down. Do you have a room key?" Andy asked.

Gavin dug in his pocket and handed it to Andy, "Room 919."

15 minutes later, the guys were pulling into the baby store, conveniently located near their hotel. The parking lot wasn't busy for a Thursday afternoon. Gavin made a face, "You realize I am at a baby store."

Andy closed his eyes and chuckled. He patted Gavin's shoulder as he turned off the car, "You're a good man, Gavin. Let's get shopping."

Another half hour later, they were back at the car. They hadn't wasted any time getting the car seat, Andy picking out the most expensive one, certain it had to be extremely safe. The store clerk had tried to explain all the seats provided a standard level of safety, but Andy wasn't going to mess this up now. He hadn't had an opportunity to spend any time with Hannah, and he wanted to do something right for her. With the promise he'd be back in the store to do more shopping, the men purchased the seat, and it only took Andy a few minutes to install it in the car. Thankfully, he'd had to sit through presentations on car seat safety at the LAPD, so installation wasn't foreign to him. He handed Gavin his car keys and gave him a small smile, "Be safe with Hannah."

"I'll treat her like she's my own," Gavin gave him a wink. "I'll call you when we get back here. Unless you are hopelessly lost in there or buying the whole store, I won't plan to come inside. We'll wait in the car."

With Gavin off to pick up his little princess, Andy went to work. He had been in several different baby stores over the last few months, picking up small things here and there for his Hannah. He'd bought her that large box of clothing when she was born. He'd bought her the saucer toy when he first found them in Flagstaff. Since then, he'd been another time in Los Angeles to buy her a few things for the spring, none of which he'd sent to her yet. He'd brought the few outfits along, hoping he could just send them with her now, and Sharon wouldn't even be able to argue. He spent the next 45 minutes in the store, and he seemed to time things perfectly because he was finishing at the checkout when Gavin sent him a text saying he was back. Andy finished, and he hurried out to the car.

"We're watching her a few hours, not a few months," Gavin said in a very dry, sarcastic tone when Andy pulled the cart up to the car. Okay, so he might have gone a little overboard with things. The cart was full, and the travel crib wasn't even taking up much of the room. He had that under the cart, but he'd filled the cart with bags of clothes, toys, and other things.

Andy flashed him a small smile, "I know. I couldn't resist. Now," he clapped his hands together as he opened his back door, I want to see my daughter before I unload this car. He crawled into the car and sat next to the large car seat. He almost held his breath; it did take his breath away, his sweet little girl safely buckled into her large seat. She turned her head and flashed her sweet smile. She was gorgeous. Her hair was even longer and darker than pictures showed. Her eyes were sparkling, and she was in a very sweet little pink romper with little white sandals. He leaned in and kissed her head.

"Hey there, Gorgeous," he said to Hannah. He put his finger in hers, and she gripped it, while she had some toy giraffe in her other hand. Gavin turned to him from the driver's seat.

"I'm not part of some kidnapping scheme, am I? I'm an officer of the court, and your load there looks like we are taking off with her."

"No," Andy chuckled as he continued to look at Hannah. "I told you, I just got excited. Let me get this loaded, and we can go back to the hotel."

"Looks like you were on a shopping spree, one of those ones where the people have to race through the store. I never understood that, racing around, throwing anything into the cart, but of course, I have plenty of money, so that isn't an issue."

"Yeah, well, today, at least, money was no object. I'll deal with my credit card later, but I wanted to get some things for Hannah," he said.

"Sharon probably has a lot of what you bought," Gavin pointed out.

Andy shrugged and smiled at Hannah, "So, what if she does? I'll just take it home with me. I hope, in time, after Sharon has time to deal with all of this with her mom, she'll consider letting me see her. I'm not asking for weekend visitation, but just anything. Today, this is amazing. I mean, really, does Hannah need shoes," he nodded to the white sandals. No, but they look sweet on her. I feel the same about what I bought her. Sharon isn't the only one who loves Hannah."

Gavin nodded at him, "Sharon is a very complicated person."

"Tell me something I didn't know," Andy shook his head. "Let me get loaded up, and we can get going. I'm riding right here, next to Hannah where I don't want to take my eyes off her."

And, he didn't. Andy didn't take his eyes off Hannah, and he had a wonderful few hours with her. That precious time, it didn't make up for the months and months he'd not seen her, that he'd not fed her, that he'd not held her, that he'd not watched her sleep, but it was a start. Once they were back in the hotel and the bellman had been paid for bringing up all the purchases, Andy started to play with Hannah. Thankfully, Gavin seemed to understand; words weren't necessary, and he got to work trying to figure out the travel crib. Andy didn't want to put Hannah down, and he kept walking around the suite with her. He walked into the living room area to check on Gavin.

"How's the crib?" he asked.

"Lucky for us, you pretty much take it out of the bag, and it sets up itself. It's not too bad. Where do you want it?"

"My room," Andy nodded. The suite was like an apartment with two different bedroom areas. Andy didn't even want to ask how much it was costing Gavin, but somehow, he could tell Gavin didn't care. At first glance, one might think Gavin was just another arrogant big-time attorney. He might have thought that, but Andy had seen how fiercely loyal and generous he could be. Gavin was a good guy, and he was glad both to know him and to know he was in Sharon's life.

"Ahh, Andy," Gavin looked up at him as he was picking up the travel crib to move it. He made a face and gestured at Andy, "I think someone stinks."

Andy started to chuckle, "Yeah, I just got a whiff of that too. I've never changed her diaper. I'll get her things."

"Well, I'm not into the diapering business, but something tells me that if you've changed one, they are all pretty much the same," Gavin smirked.

Andy, who was pulling out the supplies he needed from the diaper bag and spreading it out to use on a blanket on the floor, looked to Gavin, "Yeah, well, that's true, but there's something about changing your own kid. I hate myself for what I've done, for this beautiful little girl to be caught in this mess. I love her, and I want to be in her life. You should know that."

"I knew that the day you showed up to sign the paperwork, but what can I do? Sharon makes up her own mind, and I can't blame her for wanting to protect her kids. You and I both know Jack is garbage. Do you know what he said to the kids when he heard her mother died?"

Andy looked up from where he was working. He was almost done changing Hannah. She was sweet, lying there, making babbling noises and trying to kick her legs. He paused and looked to Gavin.

"I didn't know Sharon told him," he said.

"She didn't, but the kids did. I'm not sure which one called him first, but they actually spoke to him. That's a first, and his reaction," Gavin shook his head and continued, "was to comment he didn't even know the woman was still alive. This is the grandmother of his kids! He was her son-in-law for far too long. What garbage. You, your reaction," Gavin gestured, "well, we both know that. You're here. You're helping, and you just want to support Sharon."

"Yeah, well, there's no comparison, and I want to do a lot more if she ever lets me. For now," he finished with Hannah and stood up with her before he looked to Gavin, "I'd like to hold my daughter and let her take a nap. I've dreamed about doing just this."

Gavin nodded and followed Andy into his room. The two men were silent as Gavin worked, and Andy just made faces and played with Hannah. When Gavin finished with the travel crib, he stepped back to the door and gave him a nod, "Enjoy her. I'm going to do some work. I'll need to go get Ricky just after 5:00, and I told Sharon I'd bring Hannah home then. I'm sorry to pull her away from you, but-" he paused.

Andy nodded, "Thanks for this," he gestured. "I won't forget you helping make this happen today, and something tells me you are playing down just how freely Sharon turned over Hannah. I know you had to probably convince her to let me keep her, but in the middle of this mess, I'm really glad to spend time with Hannah."

"I'll leave you two alone," Gavin said as he walked back out the door and closed it. Andy looked around. He looked at the travel crib, one that he'd spent close to $100 on to buy her a nice one. He looked to the pile of clothing and toys on the bed he'd also bought her, and he nodded to Hannah.

"Hannah let's get to know each other," he said as he sat down on the side of the bed. He had her on his lap, and he reached for a toy.

"You know, this looked like something you might like. I liked it because it's this little ape, and your mom might hate it because he's got a tag on him that says his name is Andy," he spoke to her in a soft voice. "If you want, you can have this little ape. There was a much bigger one, but I knew your mom wouldn't want that big of a thing, so you can have this little one. Maybe it will be something you want to carry with you, something that reminds you Andy, or in your case, Daddy is always with you."

Andy looked into her big eyes. He thought they almost looked hazel colored, but in the different light, it was hard to tell. Hannah just looked back at him, gumming her smile. He gave her the stuffed animal, and she immediately took hold of it. He sighed and kissed her head, pulling her with him as he sat back against his headboard. He put Hannah next to him, and he smiled as she almost cuddled into his side. She was tired; he could see it. He reached for a blanket, something else he'd bought at the store, and he pulled it up over her. This blanket seemed to match the ape. He hadn't planned on a theme, but the blanket was cute, pink with apes on it. It was an odd combination, but he liked it. He was surprised Hannah didn't fight sleep. Perhaps she could almost feel the family tension, the sorrow, but whatever it was, he just sat there, watching his daughter as she slept. Sharon had given him such a gift this afternoon. She was in the middle of a nightmare, having to plan her mother's funeral, but he had the best task, taking care of their daughter.

A knock later had him looking up at the door. Hannah was almost done with her bottle, having taken a decent nap. "Come in," Andy said, and Gavin opened the door.

"Well, things must be going okay. I got a lot of work done, and I didn't hear anything from you two. I do have to get going to get Ricky," he told him.

Andy sighed. He knew his time with Hannah was over for the afternoon. Tomorrow would be a long day, a very long day. Sharon had told Gavin that Friday was going to be full, with time for the family to gather at the funeral home after lunch, followed by time for friends to come by into the evening. The funeral would then be Saturday morning, followed by a light luncheon back at the retirement community center. Andy didn't know what that would mean for him. He planned to attend both the receiving of friends tomorrow evening as well as the funeral, but he also planned to stay in the background. With the funeral Saturday, he was planning to drive home Sunday. Gavin had a flight very early Sunday morning, as he had to prep a case for Monday.

Andy finished collecting Hannah's things, leaving a lot of what he'd bought there in the room. He would go through it this evening to send home with Sharon. He'd bought a lot of toys, and Hannah had played with several this afternoon. Gavin surveyed the room.

"You realize she is an infant and one or two toys would have been the greatest of plenty," he smirked.

Andy picked up Hannah and threw the diaper bag on his shoulder. He looked around the room to make sure he'd collected her bottle and other things. Like any good mom, Sharon had overpacked for the afternoon. Andy was one to talk. He'd bought out the baby store as well. He picked up the small toy ape, happy that Hannah seemed to like it, and he put it in the diaper bag. So, what if he'd bought a lot of toys? He could spoil his daughter for the weekend. He looked over at Gavin and shrugged, "That's like telling you one or two suits would be plenty," he flashed a grin. "She's my daughter. I didn't how what she would like."

"So," Gavin raised an eyebrow, "you bought every toy in her age range?"

"Something like that," Andy grinned. "You buy suits from every designer you like. Let's agree to just leave us each to our purchases."

"Fair enough. I need to go," Gavin pointed to his watch.

"I'll walk her down, and tell Sharon thank you," Andy said. The two men walked to the elevator, and they waited for it. Hannah started her babbling again, and with that, she was sticking her toy giraffe in her mouth. Andy made faces at her. When they got onto the elevator, a couple moved to the side to give them room.

"What an adorable baby," the woman leaned toward them and smiled.

"Thank you," Andy grinned. "This is Hannah."

"She's a lucky girl to have you both," the woman said. Andy's eyes widened at the suggestion, but then, he heard Gavin start to laugh.

"She is," Gavin finally jumped in to speak. "She's got a great mom too who rounds out this crazy little mess," he winked to the couple. Andy tried not to laugh, and he just let the comment drop. The elevator arrived on the ground floor, and Andy sat while Gavin waited on the valet. When the car was pulled around, Andy walked Hannah to the car, where he put her in her car seat.

"Precious cargo, Gavin," Andy told him, eyeing him.

Gavin raised his hands in defense, "Do you think I want to deal with you or Sharon should something happen? Let's not forget, too, that I'm driving your new car. Believe me, today, I'm the king of placing the hands at 10 and two on the steering wheel," he chuckled. "I'll go get Ricky, drop off the Raydor kids, and I'll be back later. Look," he paused and frowned, as he looked to the ground. "I might be asked to hang out at the house. I'm sorry you aren't really included."

Andy shook his head, "I'm fine here. Today, this was what I wanted to do, to help Sharon. Sure, I hoped to see Hannah, so this was great for me, but I want to help her. If staying away helps, I'll stay here. I don't want to be a bother. I'll see her tomorrow at the funeral home, and even that, if she's too freaked out by me, I will figure out something else."

Gavin nodded, "You're a good guy. I'll tell Sharon your plans."

"Gavin," Andy said as Gavin started to get in his car. He turned slightly, "Tell Sharon I'm thinking of her. I haven't called or sent her a text today because I know the last thing she needs is to deal with me. Tell her, though, that Hannah was great, that I really appreciated today. Tell her if she needs anything-" he trailed off.

Gavin shook his head, "I'm going to tell Sharon you are nothing like she imagined. That should tell her a lot."


	45. Chapter 45

He sat at the table and cupped his glass of iced tea as he looked around the room. He didn't think he'd been to a nicer funeral, and while that sounded odd, it was true. Susan, or Sue, to everyone, Sharon's mother, was very well loved. She had been a good wife, mother, and friend. That was evident; he'd heard many people say that all morning. The room was still very full, filled with mostly friends from the area. The tables were occupied, and people were talking. Andy was sitting there, at his table in the back, just observing. He'd sat with a few people who had known Sharon's parents from the retirement complex. Gavin had sat with him for the luncheon part, but now, he was up talking to the kids. They'd told the table there were friends of Sharon's from L.A., and that had been the only explanation necessary. It was fine. Sharon and her dad were walking around, talking to the different tables, Hannah right there with them. As he watched them, he realized Hannah was a good distraction. She made Sharon smile, and the guest couldn't happen but smile at Hannah too.

The last couple days had gone well, even if he hadn't had much of a chance to speak to Sharon. This wasn't about speaking to Sharon, though. It was about offering support in whatever way he could. That seemed to mean support from a distance, and he was more than okay with that. After his time with Hannah, he'd gone downstairs to the hotel restaurant, where he'd enjoyed a quiet meal. Gavin hadn't returned until much later in the evening, and when he did, he'd told Andy Sharon was doing as well as to be expected. She and the kids were together, along with her dad. He'd spent some time with her dad looking through legal paperwork and bank documents. More needed to be done, but it had been a start. Sharon, he said, had expressed her thanks for everything, for taking such good care of Hannah and for staying in the background. Now, here today, Andy was trying to do the same.

He knew he needed to leave soon. Others were starting to do so, and he wanted to go before Sharon and her dad made their way over to his table. She knew he was here; their eyes had met a few times during the luncheon, and he was glad to see she wasn't bothered by his attendance. In fact, she'd nodded, almost in agreement he should be there for the luncheon. He'd held up his promise. He'd kept their drama out of the funeral, but he'd tried to remain close, to offer support. He'd mingled with a few friends, staying clear of her family, just as he knew she'd want right now. She had enough going on that she didn't need to worry about explaining who he was and what place he had in her life.

As he sat there with his glass of iced tea, he thought back over the funeral. It was now Saturday just after 1:00. It had already been a very long day, but it had really started, at least for him, last night. Sharon and family had been going longer than that, but he and Gavin had gone over to the funeral home last evening, toward the end of the calling hours. Andy really didn't want to walk through the line; Sharon, her dad, the kids, and a couple of extended family were in the line. He wanted to offer his condolences, but he was afraid Sharon would get too upset seeing him there as she scrambled to explain who he was. So, he'd let Gavin go through the line, while he'd walked around the sitting room area looking at the family photos that had been put on display. Gavin told Sharon Andy was there, and when Gavin finished, almost an hour later, Andy was sitting outside on a bench.

 _"Sharon said she'd like to talk to you," he looked to Andy. "She appreciates you not coming inside with everyone."_

 _"I hope I didn't upset her by coming," Andy said. "I mean, we can leave if she would rather."_

 _"No," Gavin shook his head. "She asked if you would stay. They are almost done inside. We came at the right time. The line is thinning. Most of their friends have gone home. Hannah is asleep on Emily, and I think everyone is exhausted. As I was leaving, they were figuring out car arrangements to go home."_

 _As he finished talking, the door opened, and both men looked to it. Sharon stood there, her hands clasped in front of her, wearing a black dress. It was simple, but elegant. She had on a long silver necklace over it, and the cut hit just at her knee with a loose fit. Like always, she was in heels, tall ones at that. Andy had a feeling she was self conscious of her weight from Hannah, but no matter what she thought, he thought she looked beautiful, even at her mother's funeral. Her makeup was light, and she looked tired, very tired._

 _"Gavin, thank you," Sharon said in a whispered breath. Gavin gave her a small smile and stood. He nodded to them, "I'm going to check on your kids."_

 _"Dad and the kids are getting into my car because it has the car seat. Ricky is driving them home. I told them I'd be right behind them in Dad's car. We drove over here at different times today. Thank you," she nodded a single nod._

 _"I'll check on all of them. Andy, I'll just wait at the car for you," he nodded to Andy. Andy returned the nod and stood to face Sharon._

 _"Hi," he said quietly and put his hands in his pocket as he gave her a small smile._

 _"Hi," she said, her voice wavering. She shook her head, "Thank you for coming, not just tonight, but for coming at all. Jack didn't even do that-or call or anything, and he was married to me for what, two decades? You, I barely know in some ways, but thank you."_

 _"Of course," he shook his head. "Look, I didn't want to upset you," he told her, as she started to wipe her eye._

 _"I'm okay," she nodded at him. "It's just been a long day. I wanted to speak to you because I know I've kept you hidden away. I appreciate you not causing a scene."_

 _"That's not why I'm here. I've told you I just want to help, whatever that means. I would have watched Hannah tonight," he said._

 _"I know," she pursed her lips. "I wanted her close to me. I hope you know that was just for me, for what I'm feeling about my mom right now. People wanted to meet her, and I know she's the bright spot in this."_

 _He nodded and looked to the ground, "The offer stands, for Hannah or anything else, for tomorrow. If you want me to watch her, I will."_

 _Sharon looked up and shook her head, "Thank you, but again, I just want her close to me. My mom would want her at the funeral. I want her there."_

 _"I'd like to come too," he added. "I mean, I'm not going to be a problem, but I was planning to come, to sit in the back of the church. If it's too much of a problem or too much stress on you, I won't come, but I would like to offer my support."_

 _Sharon started to fidget with her hands, but she nodded at him, "That's going above and beyond, but thank you. I won't stop you."_

 _"I care about you, Sharon, about your family, your kids, and I just want you to know that," he said. He saw her hands now, almost trembling, and he reached for them and squeezed them. Sharon looked at the gesture and nodded. She, then, looked up at him, his hands still giving hers a squeeze._

 _"Would you like to walk inside, to pay your respects?" she asked him._

 _He eyed her, and then, she pulled her hands back, "I don't want to raise questions for your family, but yes, I would be happy to step inside. I looked through the pictures of your mother in that side room. She looked like a wonderful woman and very loving."_

 _"She is, was," Sharon corrected herself and frowned. She shook her head, "I still can't get over that she's gone."_

 _"Are you walking inside with me?" he asked._

 _Sharon met his gaze, "I thought I would. Everyone should be gone for the night, well, except for the staff here, but if you would like to go inside, I will walk with you, and then, we can both leave."_

 _Andy nodded and turned to open the door for her. Both were quiet as they walked, side by side. He fell in step with her, Sharon, still wearing her high heels. He had worn a dark gray suit for tonight, his favorite suit, saving his best black suit for the funeral tomorrow. He had on a white shirt and black and gray tie. He glanced at her as they walked, her focus directed on the casket that sat at the end of the room. As they approached, Andy glanced around the room. It was filled with flowers. It was evident her mother was loved. Somewhere, in all the flowers, he knew the flowers he'd ordered were there too. He had wanted to send something, but he'd kept it simple, a bouquet of lilies, his favorite. The card he had included had been vague enough, reading, "Lt. A. Flynn, LAPD." That had been it, and anyone looking at it, would give the card to Sharon, assuming it had been a friend from work. He knew she wouldn't necessarily see the flowers or card for a couple of days, and that was okay with him too. It wasn't about being recognized._

 _They both stopped just short of the casket. Andy had never met her mother, would never meet her mother. He looked at her in her peaceful state and glanced over at Sharon. Sharon was just staring at her mom, shaking her head. She wasn't crying. Andy knew that would come later, but she looked alone and in need of a friend. She looked like all she wanted was a hug from her mom. He reached behind her back and put his arm around her, just lightly, in a comforting way. Sharon didn't flinch; she didn't turn away, but instead, she just let out a long breath._

 _"Your mom is really beautiful," he said quietly. "She looks like she was very kind and loving."_

 _"She really was," Sharon bit her lip as they stood there. "I hate Hannah won't know her."_

 _"I'm glad Hannah met her, that your mom got to spend time with Hannah. That's important," he told her. She just nodded, and they stood there. "How is your dad holding up with all of this?"_

 _She shook her head, "He's putting on a brave face, but deep down," she sighed._

 _"I don't think he's the only one doing that," Andy gave her a soft smile. "It's okay to let out your emotions."_

 _She gave a small roll of her eyes, "Later," she nodded. "I need to be strong for Dad, for Emily, Ricky, Hannah, for everyone," she sighed. "Later." The moment seemed to pass, and Sharon stepped forward, now out of the gentle grip Andy had on her back. He dropped his hand to his side, where he then clasped his hands in front of him. Sharon stood now next to the casket, and Andy just waited. He had a feeling this was the first time she had been alone, well, without her dad or kids next to her, with her mom. He was quiet while she took her few moments._

 _"I'll go and leave you," he said finally after a few moments of silence. Sharon then turned and shook her head._

 _"I'm sorry. No, you were fine. I just wanted a moment to be with her. I'm ready to go home," she said. She started to walk away, and before she got too far, she turned and looked at her mom one last time for the evening. Andy waited, and when she turned around to him again, he gestured with his hand for her to walk in front of him. They walked out in silence, and when they walked into the foyer, the funeral home director was there waiting for them._

 _"Mrs. Raydor," he said and gave a single nod to Sharon, "I didn't want to bother the two of you in there."_

 _"Thank you," Sharon returned the nod. "This is a friend of mine," she gestured to Andy. "We are leaving for the night."_

 _"Everything will be at the church tomorrow, and we will bring your mother over for the funeral," he explained. "It's all as we discussed."_

 _"Thank you again," she said. "My family is very grateful for everything."_

 _"Get some rest," he gave her a soft smile. "Again, I am very sorry for your loss."_

 _Sharon nodded and started for the door. Andy followed, and he gave a nod to the director as they walked outside. They walked in silence across the walkway, and when they got to the parking lot, Andy gestured to her car, "That your dad's car?"_

 _"It is," she returned the nod. "Looks like Gavin is waiting in your car."_

 _"Are you okay going home?" he asked._

 _"I'll be fine," she gave a small smile. "The silence is welcome. Thank you again for coming tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."_

 _"Get some rest, Sharon," he reached for her hand and squeezed it. "You will need it tomorrow."_

Now, as he continued to watch the family and friends, he could see the strain of the last few days on Sharon. She looked really tired, and he had a feeling she would crash soon. He needed to get going before he had to explain his presence. He'd spoken to the people at his table; he'd been very polite and kind to everyone today. Nothing else was asked of him when the people noted he was sitting with Gavin. Most suspected the two were a couple, and right now, that was fine with him. Andy stood and nodded to the few people who remained at the table. People had kept to themselves; it was a funeral, after all. He walked over and threw out his trash, and he gave another quick glance around the room. Sharon was talking to an older couple with her dad. Hannah, he'd been checking on her often, was with Emily and drinking a bottle. It had been nice to see Sharon's kids. He hadn't spoken to either one, but he'd observed from afar. Emily was a good big sister, but she and Hannah didn't look much alike. Emily, in his opinion, looked like Jack. Ricky, he thought, looked like his grandfather. After putting eyes on Hannah and Sharon, Andy glanced around and made eye contact with Gavin. He gave him a nod, as he continued to speak with Ricky, and he stepped outside, expecting Gavin to follow. He did, just a few moments later.

Andy turned to him, "I'm going to get going. I don't want Sharon to have to explain who I am."

Gavin nodded in reply, "I am sure she will appreciate it."

"You need a ride?" Andy asked.

"No, I'll be fine. I'll get one from someone in the family. I have to fly out really early, and her dad wants to go over a few legal things. I'm not even his attorney, but he said he trusts me," Gavin explained. "I'll be back to the room later when I get everyone settled at the house. One of the kids can give me a ride."

"Okay," Andy told him. "Look, tell Sharon she is welcome to call me later, if she wants, whatever she wants," Andy said.

"I will," Gavin stated. "You did a good job today."

Andy raised an eyebrow, "I sat in the back of a church, drove to the cemetery, where I stood in the back, and then, I sat here off to the side. I watched my daughter as she was cared for by family, most of her family, except for me. I appreciate you saying that, but right now, I feel like a dirt bag."

Gavin gave his shoulder a squeeze as he turned to go back inside, "Andy, you are treading though choppy waters here. There is no right answer, no one way to do this, but I have to say, you have impressed me. I'll tell Sharon you left; I'll pass along your message. You," he nudged him, "go back to the hotel. Try to relax. The day has been a rough one, and I'll be back later."

"Thanks, Gavin," Andy patted his shoulder. He walked away, toward his car, not sure if he'd done anything right the whole weekend.

When Andy returned to the hotel, he decided to sit and get a drink in the bar, not that he was drinking at a bar. Yes, it was almost odd that sounded like the perfect place to go, or the worst place for a recovering alcoholic, but it seemed safe and comfortable. He ordered a cranberry juice, found a table, and he sat. He sat and started to think about his day and about his life. He lost track of time sitting there, not that he really had anywhere else to go. He didn't feel right driving back to California now. It was mid-afternoon, and he was drained. Gavin was paying for the hotel room, so really, there was no reason to rush home. He'd leave in the morning and call his kids on the way. If anything, he realized this weekend he needed to keep plugging away with his kids. He needed to put fort the effort to make things right with them. He couldn't force them, but he would try, try harder than he'd been before now. Work would always get in the way, but he needed to stop letting it be a crutch or an excuse. Finally, after he'd been sitting there awhile and was just tired of sitting, he stood, gathering his tie, which he'd pulled off after he'd sat down. He made his way back to his room, intent on finding something to watch on one of the several sports' channels the hotel offered.

He flopped on his bed and quickly drifted off to sleep. He sat up later, thinking he'd heard something. He glanced at the clock, and it was now 5:00. Knocking. Gavin. He was back. Andy got up, grumbling as he did and needed to stretch as he almost stumbled to the door. He was tired. The last few weeks were catching up with him too, and the silence of the hotel room had been good for him. He felt better, now, a little tired, but better. He was hungry and would see if Gavin wanted to get dinner.

"Sharon," he said, visibly surprised to see her standing there. He wiped his hand over his face, still trying to wake up, making sure it wasn't some dream, but yes, she was standing there still in her black dress with a lace overlay, from today's funeral. He glanced around the hall, "Did you bring Hannah? Does Gavin have her?"

She shook her head, "No, I, ahh," she paused and then let out a long breath. She looked to him, "I came by on my own. I just needed to get out of my house, my dad's house," she corrected herself. "Everything there was too much. I came here to thank you for today. I know you left so I didn't have to explain anything to my family, and I wanted to speak to you before you go home. It didn't sit well with me, just leaving you here to quietly go home. You made quite an effort to be here, and I wanted to thank you."

Andy put his hand on the door, feeling ridiculous for standing there, for making her stand there. He gestured to the room, "Do you want to come in? Gavin rented this ridiculous suite. It's massive, bigger than my first apartment," he chuckled. "We can sit a moment if you have a minute to spare. I didn't know if you had Gavin and Hannah downstairs."

She shook her head again to explain the situation, "Hannah is at home. Ricky and Emily are with her. Both of them fly home early tomorrow, first flights out for their destinations. Hannah was exhausted and was asleep. They are enjoying her as a distraction, but they are also exhausted. Gavin is there with my dad. The two are discussing all of the legal matters to sort. Everything goes to my dad, but still," she shrugged, "there is a lot to do. Life insurance has to be addressed, all of that."

Andy nodded, and he gestured inside again, "Well, again, if you want, please, sit, take a rest. I'm sure you are exhausted too. I've got a mini-bar area if you want. Gavin has been in it."

Sharon pursed her lips and then nodded into a small smile, a faint one. She looked up and shrugged, "Okay, a drink doesn't sound too bad right now. Honestly, anything. It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"No, not at all," Andy stepped aside to let her enter. "I'll see what is there. Actually, I think he ordered a bottle of wine yesterday."

"Wine would be great. Thank you," she gave him a small nod. She walked to the couch and sat down. He eyed her, and as he did, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Andy just left her in silence. He was pleasantly surprised to see her, but he also knew it would have been weird for both of them had nothing more been said after the funeral. This was good; he was glad he'd stayed in town this afternoon because they could talk for a few minutes, and he could again make sure she was going to be okay. He didn't say anything as he poured her a glass of wine from Gavin's bottle. He walked back to the couch, and he only cleared his throat to hand it to her when he reached her, and only then, did she open her eyes and look up at him.

"Oh, thanks," she nodded and accepted the glass. She sipped it while he sat at the end of the couch, slightly turned toward her. "I needed that."

"I know you've had a rough few days. You don't have to say anything at all. Look, I get it that it's quiet here. You're welcome to just relax. You aren't bothering me at all. I mean, Gavin rented the suite, and I know he'd want you to use it to relax if you need it," Andy explained.

Sharon's eyes met his, and she suddenly let out a choked cry. The tears followed. It was unexpected. Neither saw that coming. Andy had a feeling she wanted to look like the strong one through all of this. She was, but he had a feeling she wanted to save her tears for when she was alone. Her tears couldn't wait. Andy moved quickly, grabbing for the box of tissues on the bathroom counter around the corner. He brought them back and offered them to her.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry. I'm not going to fall apart," she said between sobs. She took a few deep breaths while he sat back down and just waited. She shook her head and finally looked back at him.

"I'm okay," she gave him a single nod.

"I don't need an explanation," he frowned. "Cry, scream, whatever. It doesn't bother me. You have grief, a life lost, and you don't have to explain anything."

"I just needed to go somewhere I didn't see my mom everywhere I turned. As I also said, I wanted to thank you too. I realize you looked like the castaway, and I hope you know your presence was noted-by me. I appreciate the support today, last night, all of it," she gave him a small nod.

"You're welcome. I wish I could have done more. I need to thank you again for letting me watch Hannah. I enjoyed that very much, and not today, but one of these days, I'd like to talk about me coming to see her again. I don't want to take her away, but I'd like to visit. We all know life is precious."

"I can't think about that now," she waved her tissue.

"I know," he nodded. "That's a topic for later, "he said and looked at her. "You and Hannah, you looked good today, strong," he said. "You really carried your family, and you did it with such class and grace. You really looked amazing in so many ways, and I would have never known you had a baby a few months ago."

"Hmmm," she closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, most people didn't know that. Today, I spent a lot of the day explaining that I was Hannah's mother, not her grandmother. That's a real blow to the ego," she rolled her eyes. "While their close friends knew Hannah was mine, many people thought Emily was her mother, not that I was capable of having adult children and an infant. So, there, I was, explaining my kids while I also explained my lovely ex-husband," she shook her head and took another sip of wine. "Anyway, at least the drama ended there. Thank you for not making it worse."

She sipped on her wine again, and the two settled into a comfortable silence. Andy didn't mind. He knew she had a lot on her mind. Finally, he smiled and looked at Sharon, "I bought that as an Easter dress, or I guess I envisioned it for Easter."

Sharon narrowed her gaze and then nodded, "Thank you for her dress. Gavin brought it over last night."

"Yeah, I went a little crazy at the store the other day," he chuckled. "I didn't look at that dress, though, and say to myself that it looked like a funeral dress."

Sharon gave a small shrug, "I did. My mother loved flowers. Loved them. You saw how many sent flowers, right? She would have enjoyed that very much. The dress, the Easter dress, it is pink, covered in small flowers. My mom would have loved that dress on Hannah. I could have seen her buying it. I knew it wasn't from Gavin because it wasn't designer, and I don't mean that in a negative way at all. Gavin only buys designer, and that's not needed, especially on a baby. No, it was perfect. He brought over the clothing you bought, and when I saw the dress, I just knew she had to wear it today. So, yes, was it odd for a baby to wear a pink dress to a funeral? Maybe," she shrugged. "My mom would have loved it."

"I'm glad to have done something to make you think of your mom. Hannah," he chuckled softly, "she was gorgeous with you today, Sharon. You just carried her around and kept your head high. Everyone was staring at you two. You really did a great job today, considering all things."

Sharon gave him a small nod, and she started to cry again. This time, Andy looked at her, her delicate form, slightly bent as she tried to dab her eyes. He shifted to comfort her, putting his arm on her back while he sat at a respectable distance. He softly patted her back while she worked through her emotions. She finally looked to him.

"Thanks again, for coming here, for being so kind," she gave him a small smile.

"If you need anything, you let me know. I'm going back to L.A. tomorrow," he explained. She nodded and gathered her tissues in her hand and stood. Andy stood too. She seemed to be telling him she was ready to go home now.

She looked up at him and shook her head. She looked to the ground. He looked to the ground too, almost expecting to see something there. Their eyes met when they looked up again. Sharon took a step toward him and leaned up, kissing him squarely on the mouth, her intention clear. Andy, slightly surprised, almost stepped back, and as he did, Sharon gripped his arms, pulling herself toward him. Andy quickly pulled her closer, as she was trying to do, and he wrapped his arms around her, the two locked in a kiss. When they pulled apart, Andy looked to her stunned.

"I'm sorry, Sharon," he said quickly. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes looked into his, and she shook her head, "I didn't come over here with intentions," she gestured to the room, "for this."

"For?" he asked.

"I didn't come over here thinking about this, for what's about to happen," she said in a low tone as she looked to him and quickly to the floor.

"What's about to happen, Sharon?" he asked, trying to catch her gaze. She looked up, and quickly, her lips were on his. He started to rest his hand on her hip as they kissed, and she put her hand over his, moving it lower, to her backside. They broke apart, and Andy, now breathless said, "I can't take advantage, Sharon."

"That's not what this is," she whispered back to him and kissed him again, keeping his hand where she'd moved it.

"Gavin?" he asked between kisses.

"Gavin would be the dumbest person on the planet to come back to this room knowing I am not at home," she said quickly. "I need this, Andy. I need to forget the pain right now. Please."

Andy gave her a nod as they continued to kiss. Sharon tugged at his dress shirt, pulling him with her back to the couch. One more time. One last time. It was always one more or one last time. Neither wanted to argue it now. For now, the two just wanted the silence and the closeness. Semantics-one more time versus one last time-that could be debated later.


	46. Chapter 46

He sat on the couch and just looked around the room. It was a mess. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. He could hear her in the bathroom; the sink was running. He really hoped Gavin did have half a brain to stay away right now. It would be rather uncomfortable if he came back to the room in the state it was in, in the state he and Sharon were in at the moment. Andy sighed and stood, looking for his own clothing. He didn't want to put his dress pants back on right now and remembered he had a pair of his gym shorts sitting on his bag. He moved just inside his bedroom area and found those before he returned to the small living room area. He saw Sharon's dress on the floor and gathered it for her. He really wanted to talk to her, and he was afraid if he waited, she would come sweeping through the room, gather her things, and leave. He didn't want that; he didn't want that at all.

Andy stood at the door and listened. She was still running the water, so he knocked lightly. She opened the door to face him, and he gave her a small smile.

"Do you need to get in here?" Sharon asked. "I'm sorry I'm hogging the bathroom."

"No, it's fine," he raised a hand and gestured to her. She'd put on one of his dress shirts, which he'd hung on the back of the door last night when he'd returned from the funeral home. She'd buttoned it partially but was working on scrubbing her face and freshening up now. "I brought you your clothing," he handed her the dress, "or I guess, some of it. Your other things," he started to say.

"Thanks," she took her dress, nothing he hadn't picked up her bra or underwear. Oddly, it felt very personal for him to have that and just nodded at him. "I'll go out and get my other things. I suppose it's rather a mess out there."

"Yeah," he said as he lowered his head to scratch the back of it. "Sharon," he said and looked up at her, the sadness on his face.

She met his gaze and briefly closed her eyes as she shook her head. She finally cleared her throat and looked at him, "This really helped. I can't make my pain go away, but I needed this. Thank you."

Andy rested his arm against the door frame as he looked at Sharon. She turned off the water and looked back at him. He was having trouble focusing with her standing there in his shirt. She only had three buttons done on it, and he was holding his hand back from reaching over and unbuttoning the rest, even though he wanted to talk to her about what had just happened. Unbuttoning her shirt wouldn't help; it would start things AGAIN. Right now, he needed to focus. Sharon must have been able to read his mind because she moved her hands to button another button.

"Leave it," he raised his hand toward her, but he didn't touch her. "You don't need to be self-conscious around me. I've told you that I think you're gorgeous. Your legs, your whole body," he nodded at her.

"I need to go," she said, ignoring his compliment.

Andy sighed and looked away, but he turned back to her, "I don't like this, you leaving like this."

Sharon took a step toward him and clasped his hand in hers as she looked at him, "I'm not upset, at least about this. The last few days have been a blur, and I feel this numbness inside from losing my mother. You helped with that here. It was one last time."

"That's what you always say," Andy said, looking pointedly at her. He wanted to yell, to fly off the handle with her comment, but he knew she was not in a place to argue about it now. "I don't like you leaving like this, Sharon. It's always another 'last time' with you until the next time. You excuse it like that. It's always I have to go right away, or you have to go. That's always the end of it-until the next last time. Just now, I feel like I took advantage of you being in a bad place right now. Sure," he sighed and looked up before he spoke again, "it was great. Actually, it was wonderful, but you have so much going on in your mind. You get up and leave, each time, saying it's the last time. We get into this hurried frenzy, and that's it, barely making it out of our clothing or whatever room we happen to be in for that time. I know I've had the reputation of the one-night-stand guy. That's not something I'm disputing, but with you," he looked back at her and found her just listening, no anger or expression of any kind on her face, "it's different now. The stakes are different. You aren't a one-night-stand. You aren't a lot of things. I just don't know."

Sharon put her hand on the counter to almost brace herself as she faced Andy. She gave him a small shake of her head, "I can't predict the future, but I can't promise this isn't the last time either. I can only say things with us are, are," she paused and looked up, "complicated. And, Hannah," she said and shook her head.

"Hannah isn't part of this," he gestured between them, "not this aspect. I mean, she is, but she isn't. I don't like you just running out or pushing me out," he sighed. "I don't want that."

She met his gaze; her facial expression changed as she tilted her head and pursed her lips while she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked at him, "I do have to leave tonight. I cannot stay overnight."

"I know that," he shook his head. "That's not it, not all of it."

She took a step toward him and put her hand on his chest. He looked at it, her soft, delicate hand on his chest. He hadn't put on a shirt yet, so he just had on his athletic shorts he'd found on his bag. Sharon moved her hand up and around his neck, as she pulled him in for a kiss. The two stood there kissing. Andy loosely put his hands on her waist, and when they pulled apart, she put her forehead against his chest. Andy kissed her head as they stood there, the silence speaking when they couldn't. Sharon reached for his hand and took it in hers. She squeezed it, and he looked into her eyes. She broke contact and took a step back, as Andy started to sigh. She was leaving. He raised his eyebrows when she started to slowly unbutton the buttons on his shirt and gave her a small shake of his head, trying to figure her out, what she was doing. When she had finished with the buttons, she reached for his hand again and clasped it in hers as she tried to nudge him.

"For now, I can stay. I need to leave soon, but," she took a step toward him, leaned up, and they met in a kiss. "For now," she repeated again, "we take things slowly this time, here, she nodded to his room, "in your room. It won't just be about my pain, my grief," she said quietly to him and leaned up to kiss him again. He leaned his head against her then.

"It's not just about that," he said quietly.

"I know," she kissed his neck, "but it's what I can handle now, being here, with you, before I have to leave. It will be different, not what it was like in the living room or most of the other times."

Andy looked into her eyes. He kissed her and started to kiss her neck. She pulled on his hand, and he turned to follow, as she flipped the switch, turning off the lights as they moved into his hotel bedroom. She said it would be different this time. He didn't know what that really meant, but this was Sharon. It might be the last time.

Almost an hour later, the room was silent again, dark and silent. Andy glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand and saw it was getting late. She would have to leave, but he hated to wake her or move her. It had been different, in some ways. She was asleep on his chest now, Andy certain some of the gravity of the week's events finally catching up with her. She was sleeping soundly; that was different. She hadn't jumped up to leave or told him to do the same like other times. That was different, yes. He didn't want her to leave, but she would. She'd go back to her family. Her family. He'd go back to L.A., and right now, he didn't know what that would mean for the future. He knew this time should be the last, for real, the last. He knew he was getting too emotionally invested and couldn't stand the idea of ruining things because while Hannah was not part of their physical relationship, she was part of their relationship. Down the road, if things ended badly with Sharon in the bedroom, that could, and he knew would, affect things with Hannah. He didn't want that. He'd tried to convince himself that wouldn't happen, but really, who was he kidding? It would. Sharon had too much on her mind to deal with this now. He wanted her, and he knew she didn't want him. Well, she did; she wanted him in her bed whenever it was convenient, but that had to stop. It wasn't just a matter of convenience for him. He felt too much now for Sharon.

Andy continued to run his hand up and down her back. He couldn't deny he'd very much enjoyed being with Sharon this evening, both in the living room and in the bedroom. The bedroom had been different. It hadn't been the frenzied mess so many other times had been, and that's what was bothering him now. He felt things for Sharon this time; he'd been feeling them, but this time, it seemed like there had been a shift in things, a change in the dynamics. They'd kissed; they'd held each other, and it had almost felt romantic. Almost. It had been more than just a roll in the sheets. All their other times, he felt, had been building to this. He was in deep. He knew it.

"Hey," he said softly as she shifted. She froze, and he continued to run his hand up her back, "It's getting late. I know you need to go home. I don't want to wake you, but I also know the last thing you want is your family calling you, wondering where you are."

Sharon hummed, still in a dozing state. He hated this, waking her and sending her home. Her kids would worry. Her dad would too, and no one needed that. Right now, Gavin walking in on them was the least of his worries because at least Gavin had an idea what was going on with them. Her family didn't know Andy even existed, and with everything else, Andy couldn't cause more problems for Sharon.

He kissed her head, "I'm glad you stayed," he whispered. He pulled her closer, if that was possible, and she moved her arm. She was almost draped over his chest, and with the movement, she started to wake up and look at him.

She finally opened her eyes, eyes he was able to see better without her glasses. Even in the dark, the very dim light, he felt like he could really see into her eyes. She rested her hand on his chest and put her chin on it, "This was," she paused and shook her head.

He kissed her head when she didn't finish and said, "I know. It was. I'm glad you stayed," he repeated.

"I need to get home, to Hannah, to my family," she told him.

"I know," he said and kissed her head again as they quietly talked. "I'm going home tomorrow, but I'm thinking of you. You call me for anything; I'm a good guy who cares Sharon. I know we're in an odd situation," he sighed.

Sharon shifted and finally sat up, pulling the sheet with her. She looked at him with her tousled hair, "I feel a lot better, at least for tonight. I know grief hits in stages, at any point, but I'm okay right at this moment. You have asked what you could do for me, and this, this was what you could do."

Andy sat up too, letting her have the sheet. He reached over and turned on the light, so he could see her better. Sharon tugged at the sheet. He reached over and tugged it away.

"You really are beautiful, Sharon. I know you don't believe me," he told her.

Sharon looked away, looking around the room. Her shirt, or rather, his shirt, was on the floor again, as it had been quickly discarded after they stepped out of the bathroom. His gym shorts were somewhere in the room too. "I was never appealing enough to Jack. He made that clear. Now," she sighed and shook her head, "I'll never lose this weight."

He tugged on her arm as he leaned over to kiss her shoulder, "I'm sorry about that. I don't even see it. I see a mother, and I mean that in a very good way, a sexy way. I see a woman who carried not one, but three babies. I made one of those babies with you, and I see your sacrifice. It's beautiful. I know you hate the extra weight, but I don't see it. I have extra weight," he tugged on her hand trying to get her to chuckle. "All of mine is from Provenza, listening to that guy and all the stress that comes with it. Yours is at least for a good cause, the best type of cause. You carried babies. I think that's about as beautiful and selfless as you can get."

Sharon glanced at him, but she didn't say anything. She looked away again and changed the topic, "I didn't know you bought all that for Hannah. Gavin brought over the few outfits, but that," she nodded to the pile of clothing, toys, and travel crib, "that's, that's almost too much. You were only watching her a few hours."

"I'm not trying to like take her, Sharon," he said quickly, coming to his own defense. "If you think I was buying all that so I could get her from you, it's not that."

She looked back at him and put her hand on his, "I don't think that at all. I finally acknowledge you aren't trying to kidnap or take her. I'm still not sure how to let you be around her. You really bought all that for a few hours? It looks like enough for days."

He nodded, "I want the best for her. I just wanted her to have anything she would need."

"You spent a fortune," she frowned.

He shrugged, "I'd do it again. I'll take it home; you can take anything you want. It's for her. I want her to have it. I want her to enjoy it, and I'd love to sometime see her enjoy it."

Sharon just looked at him, and the silence descended on them again. After a few moments, Sharon squeezed his hand, "I have to go, really. Twice was great, but I can't stay longer."

"I know," he ran his hand over her leg, covered by the sheet. "I didn't come to talk to you in the bathroom to take you to bed, again."

"I didn't come to your room to get you into bed," she said and when he gave her a look, she shook her head. "I really didn't."

"So, neither one of us planned for this," he said and let the words hang.

"It just happened," she said.

"Right, the one last time," he nodded.

"I need to go," she said and moved off the bed, pulling the sheet with her. "The kids and Dad will be wondering where I went for a few hours. I can explain it away, but I need to leave." Andy watched as she wrapped it around herself and then walked into the living room, looking for all of her clothing. She walked back by the room, on her way to the bathroom, with everything in hand. She paused at the doorway again, as he just sat there on the side of the bed.

"Would it be okay if I jumped in your shower? I really need to freshen up. I can't go home like this," she gave him a look.

"By all means," he gestured with his hand. He looked at her and added, "I'll leave you to shower alone. I'll clean up in here."

Andy heard the water turn on, and he busied himself cleaning up the bedroom and living room area. He would miss her, and he didn't know when he would see her, or Hannah again. He wanted to visit Hannah. He hoped to visit her. It took him a few minutes to tidy up the room, hoping Gavin wouldn't comment on anything when he returned. There was no question what had happened. There never was. Andy pulled out a bottle of water, and he took a swig of it. Sharon was almost ready to go. He walked back into the room, and he almost ran into her as she came out, dressed now, her hair slightly damp from the shower. She hadn't washed it, but it was a little wet. She looked more relaxed and not as sad. He took that as her being serious about needing to be with him, to forget everything for awhile.

"Here's some water for you to take with you," he offered her the bottle he'd opened.

"Thanks," she gave him a small smile and reached down to put on her heels. He watched her, and when she stood up.

"I'll be leaving in the morning. Let me know if I can do anything else," he said.

"You've done so much more than you know. You helped," she nodded and cleared her throat, "in a way no one else could," she squeezed his hand. She leaned up and kissed him, repeating it, "So much more, Andy. Thank you for all of it."

He nodded, "Be safe going home."

She continued to look in his eyes, "Ahh, I wanted to ask if you would come by the house in the morning? The kids are flying out early. They won't be there, but I know you want to see Hannah. I know it was hard to watch from a distance, so please, I'm asking if you would come over in the morning, that is, if you don't have to leave extremely early. I'm trying."

Andy looked at her, very surprised. He was sure the surprise was evident on his face, but he just shook his head. Sharon frowned, thinking he was saying no, but he quickly corrected himself.

"I will be there. I mean, I can't, I want-thank you," he finally said. "I'd love to see Hannah before I go home."

"She's up early. If 8:00 is okay, she'll be up until 9:00 or so, when she usually takes a nap," Sharon explained.

"I'll be there," he repeated. Sharon nodded to him and stepped toward the door. Andy reached for her purse and handed to her as he opened the door. She took it and looked at him as she walked into the hallway.

"For a couple hours, I forgot how much I am hurting, am grieving for my mom. Just know you did that. Thanks," she said with a small smile and turned to walk away. Andy stood there, his head against the door as he watched. He couldn't keep doing this. Tomorrow, he could see Hannah. He'd set some guidelines because he needed to focus on her. Sharon was broken and wanted to keep pushing Andy away, wanted to keep excusing their intimacy as always one last time. She wanted to use him to forget about the world, and he wanted to be with her because he couldn't forget her. He now realized Hannah would get caught in the mess if things continued, and as much as he wanted Sharon in that way, he needed to focus on a relationship with Hannah.


	47. Chapter 47

He was nervous, and that was odd. It was breakfast. He did breakfast; he liked breakfast. It was time with Hannah. He loved Hannah, and more than anything, he wanted to spend time with her. Finally, he was getting that, time with his daughter. Yet, he was antsy, nervous, and he wasn't even sure he would be able to stomach breakfast.

Sharon was making him nervous. He wasn't even to her house yet, or her parents' house, as it had been, and his stomach was in knots. He had spent an amazing few hours with her not even 24 hours ago. That hadn't made him nervous; he'd enjoyed all of that time with her, the intimacy, the alone time with her. Realizing that his feelings about Sharon were now clouding his judgment-that was making him nervous. Realizing that he was getting in too deep with Sharon-that was making him nervous. Realizing that he could ruin things with Sharon, and in turn, could ruin his relationship with Hannah-that was making him nervous. He needed to take a deep breath. He needed to focus. Hannah was at stake. He would do anything for Hannah, even if it had to mean accepting that Sharon's insecurities were never going to go away and acknowledging that Sharon was never going to relax around him. He didn't feel he could continue with Sharon in her current mindset. She didn't trust him, and he wasn't sure she ever would.

Andy wanted it all; he wanted the storybook life, but as he'd matured through his own life, he had come to the conclusion most people just didn't have a storybook. He certainly hadn't had one, but he had a chance, at least a small one, to have Hannah in his life, a chance to improve his story and that of his daughter.

Andy checked his GSP and groaned. He'd missed a turn, but the streets around this area were in a grid, so after he made his turns, he was back on course. He was now only a mile from the house, and he let out a long breath. It felt like it had been a long day already, and it wasn't even 8:00 in the morning. He glanced at the clock; it was 7:45. He was early, and he hoped it was okay. It had to be okay. How could she get upset he was early? At this point, he didn't care if Sharon was upset with him as long as she didn't hold it against him. Of course, nothing with Sharon was easy or predictable, so she could hold it against him. He was getting a chance to see Hannah, something he wanted, but didn't expect. Sharon had surprised him slightly with that, in a good way. Maybe, just maybe, she would now start letting him see his daughter.

Andy slowed the car to look at the house. It was a very traditional Mediterranean home, typical to the area as well as Los Angeles and the surrounding area. Sharon's car was in the driveway. He knew this wasn't Sharon's childhood home. Her parents had moved to this retirement area some time ago, and as he parked, he glanced around the street. It looked peaceful and homey. Andy took a deep breath. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. Sharon said the kids were out of the house; they had early flights. This was just time with Sharon and Hannah. He could do this.

Andy parked and nodded to himself in the car. He was seeing his daughter, and for that he was thankful. He wasn't going to ask Sharon what had made her extend the invitation. Perhaps it was the grief talking; he didn't know, but he was going to enjoy this time. He'd see Hannah and then head for L.A., hoping that this would be the first of many visits with his little princess.

He knocked on the door and took a deep breath. Andy glanced around again and looked down at his clothing. He had wanted to look nice, not that Hannah had any clue who he was or if he looked nice for her. Andy still wanted to look nice, and maybe, deep down, that was still for Sharon. Sure, the woman had seen him in gym shorts and well, much less, the night before. He still wanted to look nice, not overdressed, but nice. He glanced at his khaki slacks and nodded to himself. He had the business casual look going with the slacks, navy blue polo shirt, and loafers. He looked up, startled, when the door opened, and his expression quickly turned to a soft smile.

She looked amazing, and that was the last thing he needed to be thinking right now. Sharon had on white capri pants with a royal blue loose top. It looked bright and fresh, something opposite to her mood, he was sure, but it did so much for her. It almost wiped away the look of sorrow he knew was hiding under her exterior.

"Morning," he said quickly. "I'm early. I hope that's not a problem. I just realized your family-you said they were leaving early?"

"The kids left over three hours ago," she gave him a small smile. "They had to be at the airport before 5:00. Did you find the house okay? I didn't think about including some basic directions with the address."

Andy held up his phone, "GPS, remember? I found it just fine," he chuckled lightly. She seemed nervous. Sharon knew phones had GPS, but he looked to her hand on the door and noticed she was fidgeting. Finally, she realized they were both standing there and gestured inside.

"Ahh, please come in," she cleared her throat. "Hannah has been awake since 6:00, which is pretty normal for her when I go to work."

"I see," he nodded. "That would explain how you look so nice this early in the morning. Kids had to leave, and Hannah has been up awhile. You look great, by the way," he leaned over and whispered. She glanced at him like she was shocked he would say that. "I mean, you look more rested. I know the last few days have been extremely draining. You look like yourself, Sharon."

She glanced back at him as she led him through the house. He looked around as they walked, noting there were funeral flowers everywhere. They walked across the living room, and she addressed him, "I meant it when I said you helped me relax and forget. I slept last night, and I haven't slept in days now. Hannah is back here on the screened in porch," she told him. "We've been out here all morning. It's still cool enough to enjoy the weather."

Andy nodded as they walked. He cleared his throat, "Nice home your parents have here," he said. "It looks like they were very happy."

Sharon had reached the sliding door that would take them to the screened in porch and turned back to him, "They were very happy," she nodded with a small, almost nostalgic smile. "They were a wonderfully happy couple. Enough for now, she shook her head before she started crying. He sighed, feeling badly that he'd almost made her cry with just the mention of her parents' home, but she just closed her eyes and shook her head, as if she shook away the memories for now. "Hannah is out here, in her saucer."

Andy raised an eyebrow, wondering if this was THE saucer, the toy he'd gotten her for Christmas. Sharon opened the door and stepped onto the porch area, and Andy followed. The porch wrapped around to the side, almost forming an 'L' around the house. It was a huge porch, and he liked it instantly. He'd want to have something like this too if he lived here. He was so absorbed in studying the house, he almost missed him.

Yes, him. It wasn't Gavin. Oh, he'd spoken to Gavin late last light after he'd returned to the hotel from this very house. Gavin had crossed his arms and looked at Andy when he'd returned, walking to the doorway of Andy's room where Andy was relaxing against the headboard of the bed watching an old movie on tv.

"Sleeping with her whenever the two of you are in the same room isn't a good idea," he frowned and looked at Andy before he added, "no matter how good of a guy I think you are."

Andy sat up quickly, "You know? She told you the details already? She just left here."

Gavin pointed at Andy, "You've already told me more than she has. No, she didn't tell me. Yes, I know; I knew. I knew it would happen. It keeps happening. I had a feeling she would leave the house and come here. Sure enough, she said she needed to clear her head," he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know what you two were doing. Plus," he gestured with his hand over his head, "there's an almost aura here, just an ambiance. Andy, I'm not that dense. No, I've been waiting downstairs in the bar. I knew she'd leave through the lobby, her own little walk of shame. I was about to come upstairs because I'm ready to crash myself, and let's face it-it had been awhile-when she finally walked through, her hair looking flat-maybe damp is the right word?" He put his finger to his mouth to think and nodded, "She probably showered to make herself presentable. Anyway, I spent a couple hours with her dad, and he was exhausted, so I just waited in the lobby. I didn't figure you as the tie on the door type," he smirked.

Andy gave him an irritated look, but then he gestured, "Did you talk to her, I mean, Sharon, on her way out? How was she?"

"No, she was flustered enough," Gavin told him. "While she is my best friend, even Sharon needs a break from me. I knew she'd had a rough couple days, but she looked like she needed a moment alone. Did something else happen, besides the obvious? You two didn't argue, did you? Oh," he put his finger to his lip again and nodded as he thought, "problems in the bedroom department? Did you have some issues, Andy?"

"No!" Andy exclaimed. "No issues, not that I'm discussing with you. She wasn't flustered when she left me, I mean, grieving, but she was calm."

Gavin leaned his head against the doorframe and gave Andy a small smile, "I know you care about her, probably more than most 95% of the men in her life, but you know she doesn't trust easily. She's been through it, and if she keeps trying to convince you this arrangement," he moved his hand in a circle, "is working for both of you, it's not going to continue."

"That's all I have been thinking about," he frowned. "Thanks for the advice, and I don't want that to happen. I care too much about her, about Hannah to let things blow up completely. I hit my own realization tonight. Thanks," he gave him a nod.

"Look, Andy," Gavin said as he started to step away from the door, "I know you're a good guy. I know you love Hannah. I wish you the best. We both want Sharon to be happy, but I'm not sure she's realized that even for herself, that she can be happy."

"Andy," he heard and shook his head, almost embarrassed he'd gone to a memory with the current situation. Andy turned his head to Sharon, and she gestured. He followed her gesture. Hannah was playing in the saucer he'd bought her, making all kinds of noises, while Sharon's dad sat next to her, a cup of coffee in hand.

"Andy," Sharon cleared her throat, and he could hear her voice wavering as she gestured. "This is my dad, Bob O'Dwyer. Dad, this is Andy Flynn," she gestured. He couldn't take his eyes off Sharon and noticed her hand was shaking. Her voice was nervous, very nervous, and she took a deep breath, "I believe it is time you meet."


	48. Chapter 48

"Have a seat," Bob said as he stood slightly to extend his hand to Andy. Andy, still dumbfounded and feeling stupid that it hadn't dawned on him to ask about Sharon's dad for the morning, quickly extended his hand too.

"Andy Flynn," he gave him a nod.

"Have a seat," Bob repeated.

"I'm going to get coffee and the muffins," Sharon said in a fidgety stance. Her voice was shaky too. "We have had so many people drop off food-casseroles, desserts, breakfast items-I'll just go get breakfast." Andy and Bob had both started to sit as Sharon spoke. Bob finished sitting, but Andy turned to look at Sharon as if to give her a look for throwing him, unaware, into the situation. He knew she was aware he'd been taken by surprise. She didn't look at him, but instead, she looked over at Hannah. Sharon turned and walked toward what he assumed was the kitchen, and she ran her hand over the top of Hannah's head as she did so. Andy frowned, wanting to call her out for ducking out, but instead, he turned his attention back to Bob. He almost jumped, though, not expecting Bob to just be sitting there, his cup of coffee in hand, looking at Andy, almost as if it was perfectly normal to see him sitting at his table. Hannah started to fuss when she watched Sharon walk away from her at the lack of attention.

Andy saw Hannah start to get upset, and before she could build up to an all-out wail, he stood, took the step toward her, and he pulled her out of her toy. He put her up to his shoulder and started to pat her back. She let out another couple of wails before she started to quiet down. He sat back down with her, then realizing that had been all instinct and was one of the first times he'd done something to help his daughter. He'd spent more time with her the last couple of days than he'd ever. "Shhh, shhh," he said as he patted her back, shifting in his seat, with her in his arms.

"Well," Bob said after he finished swallowing his coffee, "you get points for at least taking care of my Hannie."

Andy looked at him as he continued to run circles on Hannah's back. She was looking up at him, putting her fingers on his face. He was torn between wanting to look at her and address Sharon's dad. He smiled at Hannah and turned his attention back to Bob, "Look, I don't know what Sharon has told you."

"Sharon has not told me much," he said and sipped his drink again. "I guess she's told me more in the last few hours than I expected to hear, but she keeps to herself. She always has. I'm not particularly interested in talking about my Shari right now. I know my girls," he nodded to Hannah where she continued to put her fingers in Andy's mouth. "I don't believe I know much of anything about you."

Andy nodded. Her dad was being cautious, but not unkind. He took a deep breath and before he said anything he made a face at Hannah, causing her to giggle. He then looked back to Bob, "I wanted to offer my condolences. I'm extremely sorry for your loss. I can't imagine it."

Bob nodded and looked down into his cup, as if he would find solace there. He continued to nod, "Thank you. Sue was a wonderful woman. I have loved her since I was 20 years old," he shook his head and sighed. "Thank you. You know there's an end, but you just don't expect it to be that fast. I was fortunate to love the same woman for most of my life. I almost cannot remember life without her. Sharon," he nodded toward the kitchen, "was our only child, yes, and I'm very glad we had her. We would have had a dozen more if we could have," he shook his head. "Life. It is never what you expect."

"No, it's not," Andy slightly frowned, nodding at his statement. "Life is messy, complicated, joyous, and devastating, sometimes all at the same time. I used to say it's sometimes unpredictable, but the older I get, I believe it's very unpredictable."

Hannah made a squeal and started to kick at Andy. He shifted her in the seat, and with that now, she was still sitting with Andy but facing out toward her grandfather. Bob continued to look at Hannah with Andy and just gave a small shake of his head.

"Sharon has had a lot of disappointments in her life," her dad said. Andy restrained himself from pointing out that while Bob had said he didn't want to discuss Sharon, he was doing exactly that. "Her mother and I have just wanted her to be as happy as we were. You just want your kids to be happy and feel for them when they aren't." He frowned again.

"She's had more than most-problems, her share of disappointments, and I hate that for her," Andy added and kissed Hannah's head.

"I noticed you at the funeral, but I didn't know your name. Around here," he sipped again and swallowed before he continued, "people stick out. We've known most of our friends for years, and on top of that, they are all a great deal older. A man such as yourself," he nodded to Andy, "hard to miss in a crowd, even when I'm dealing with my own grief. I'd heard from one of our friends you had come with Gavin, but," his dad stopped talking and let the sentence hang.

"I know Gavin, not as well as Sharon," Andy said. "I really first knew him on a professional level. I been involved with legal matters with him, nothing wrong, though," Andy said and held up a hand in defense. He knew that sounded bad, and he wasn't trying to do that. "I mean," he sighed and turned Hannah again, this time back toward him, as she started to fidget. He kissed her cheek, taking in her sweet baby smell. He didn't know what it was, maybe even her shampoo, but he loved it.

"I was told you are a police detective, a lieutenant," Bob sipped again. "Admirable," he nodded. "You've been on the job a long time then."

"Yes, yes, I have," Andy told him.

"Dad, I don't know how you are ever going to eat everything in the kitchen," the two heard and looked toward Sharon as she returned. She had a tray of food, along with a pot of coffee on it and walked toward them. She was busying herself with the tray and not looking at either of the men. She put the tray on the table, and Andy stood, with Hannah on his lap, to shift over toward her dad. The way the table was situated next to Hannah's toy, he had to do that or let Sharon try to get around him.

He saw Sharon look at Hannah with him, and before she could say anything, he said, "She was getting fussy. I think she saw you leave and wanted the attention. She's been fine with me, just a little restless."

"She's probably hungry," Sharon said producing the bottle he didn't see behind the pot of coffee. She is getting used to some baby foods, and I'm trying to figure out when she wants to eat them. I gave her some oatmeal this morning with a smaller bottle, thinking she could have a regular bottle before her nap. Would you like to feed her?"

Andy looked surprised at her question, surprised she was fidgety with her dad there while at the same time calm while talking to him. He was possibly even more surprised she was offering him the bottle to feed Hannah. He sat there, speechless for a moment, and then, he took it from her and nodded, "Of course, thanks."

"Dad," Sharon said turning to her dad and not watching as Andy got situated with Hannah, "would you like more coffee?"

Her dad frowned, not explaining why, and he offered his cup to her, "Thanks, Shari." She poured him the coffee and then put a bowl of fresh fruit on the table. She put a plate in front of each of them with sliced blueberry bread on it.

"I hope this is okay," she said to both of them. "The blueberry bread smelled wonderful, and I know if we don't start eating this fruit, it will go bad. Dad, you have enough food for at least a month."

Andy just sat there with Hannah. She had a decent grip on the bottle, but she couldn't hold it completely alone. He found that as he would let go, she'd keep it in place a few more seconds, and then, it would slip out of her grip. He was more than happy to assist her and sat back with her comfortably in his arms as she drank her bottle. He'd given her one at the hotel, but she had been rather fussy. This time, she was relaxed and ready to drink it. She was tired, and that was actually working in his favor. It was wonderful, though, feeding his daughter. He continued to look at her, as he tried to relax in this incredibly tense situation.

"I expect you will take a lot of this food home with you, Shari," her dad said, and Andy turned his attention back to the two of them. It was so awkward. He was here, and Bob had spoken to him, but they really hadn't talked. Sharon was here, almost trying to pretend like this breakfast was the most normal thing on the planet, and he didn't know what to do or what to say. He took a deep breath and nodded to himself to just remember Hannah. This visit was about Hannah, so he looked back at her, her big eyes looking up at him as she drank her bottle. He ran his hand over her head of hair.

Bob saw the gesture, and he spoke while he put a spoonful of fruit on his plate, "Sharon had reddish blonde hair when she was that size that got darker as she got older. Emily and Ricky didn't have hair for years. I don't know what to do with a granddaughter with a full head of dark hair," he said, a small, faint smile almost there on his face as he focused on Hannah there.

"I'm going to have to trim her hair a little already," Sharon shook her head. "Her bangs are into her eyes. I think Emily was three before she needed a haircut."

"My daughter, Nicole, had a lot of dark hair as a baby," Andy said, and as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. It wasn't that it was anything inappropriate, but he wanted to kick himself because while he figured Bob knew exactly who he was, he didn't know that for sure, and here he was, just commenting on his other kids, potentially opening a can of worms in a very odd situation.

Before anyone could say anything more, Bob's phone rang. He frowned as he picked it up from there on the table. He shook his head and glanced at Sharon, "I'm not sure I'll get used to carrying around this thing. Your mom and I have been sharing this cell phone. She has mainly kept it with her and always put it in her purse. I have rarely used it, and now, everyone is calling to talk to me."

"I know Dad," Sharon gave him a sympathetic smile and reached over to pat his hand.

He nodded as he stood with the phone in hand, "Excuse me," he nodded to both Andy and Sharon. "I think this is a call I need to take. Phil," they heard him say in greeting as he stepped away.

Sharon just nodded as her dad took the call. Andy watched him and then Sharon. He looked back at Hannah, checking on her, before he looked over at Sharon. Sharon spoke as her dad walked away, not noticing Andy looking at her, "Phi," she started to explain, "sounds like his friend from church."

Andy sat forward slightly, mindful of Hannah. He looked at Sharon, and when she turned back to the table after watching her dad leave, he nodded at her, "Hey, I I really appreciate the invite this morning to see Hannah, but your dad?" Andy raised his eyebrows at Sharon, and she tried to busy herself with the coffee, pouring some for both of them. "I guess I should have realized your dad was here, but a little warning would have been nice."

"I'm sorry," she whispered loudly. "I didn't know what to say, or really, I just didn't want you to hear that and not come."

He gestured with his free hand, "You know, I'm just trying to find my footing here. I really don't know where I stand with any of this. I'm confused. I try for months, and you barely want to acknowledge me, afraid I'm going to kidnap her," he nodded to Hannah. "You finally agree to at least speak to me more, and then, this happens," he nodded around the room to the house. "I'm really glad to be here to support you, even if that means just staying in the background. I know you didn't ask, wouldn't ask, and that's fine. We continue to have those, those 'one last time' encounters as you say," he said, trying to find the right word as he looked around the room. Hannah could be heard sipping on her bottle, and he looked down at her. "Sharon, I just don't know where I stand on any front. I don't know where I stand with Hannah and you, with any of this, now with your dad too. It's just," he sighed and looked back at Hannah. "I want more of this," he nodded to Hannah.

"I am not trying to throw you in front of a firing squad, really," she continued to loudly whisper. "It hit me last night at the hotel that you really should come by here and meet Dad. I cannot change that you will never meet my mom, but I realize that life is short; I can't continue to hide from everything with my family. Life is short, and I hate that I left things unsaid with my mom. I never came clean with her about this," she gestured and continued, "you." He raised an eyebrow, and she gestured with her hand again, "I purposely waited for the kids to leave. This is not a topic I want to discuss with them because I don't know how I want to address it, but my relationship with them is different than the one with my parents, if that makes any sense to you."

"So, your dad?" Andy asked, shifting Hannah slightly as she needed a different angle to finish her bottle. "I'm just supposed to sit here and pretend we are what? You and I are barely anything more than," he paused, rolled his eyes, and shook his head. "I don't know what we are Sharon, but I know what I want to be to Hannah. To Hannah, I want to be her dad, for her to look at us and at least be able explain I'm her dad, and you are her mom. Your dad can't be excited about seeing me; I think about being in his shoes. Here, the man, he lost his wife, your mother, and then, today, the first day after burying the love of his life, he's put face to face with me."

Sharon just nodded, "I'm sorry I didn't prep this better. I'm not sure I knew how to do that. For what it is worth, I don't know how to describe things any better than you do."

"Let's keep the focus on Hannah," he said. "That's the truth, and we can agree on that."

"Thank you for coming," she gave him a soft smile.

"Ambush or not, my desire was to see Hannah," he nodded to the baby. "I've enjoyed that very much, and she's really great."

"Okay," they both heard and looked to each other. Sharon looked up at her dad as he walked back into the room, and she smiled at him.

"Your men's group?" Sharon asked.

Bob nodded, "Yes, that was just a simple call to just put a date on the calendar to meet next week. They are in church now and worried about me. I wasn't even thinking it's Sunday. It's been a week," he frowned. "I will have to go to Mass without her."

"Oh, Dad," Sharon reached over to squeeze his hand. "I can go with you," Sharon sighed.

"Sharon, I can do this. Losing your mother is the hardest thing I've had to do, but I can do this; I have to do this. Nothing will bring her back, and I can't throw in the towel because I'm alone." He sat back in his chair, and Sharon pulled her hand back.

"Dad," she sighed. He reached over and patted her hand.

"Trust me. I will be okay. You need to get home and back to work yourself. Someone," he looked over at Andy still holding Hannah, "needs to get back to her routine with her own crib. She hasn't slept well here."

"She's almost asleep now," Andy said quietly. Sharon stood and nodded to Andy.

"She's ready for her nap. I can take her if you don't want to get up."

"I'll get up," Andy said and slowly stood. Hannah started to stretch, and he froze as waited for her to adjust to her new position. "I'm happy to put her in bed."

Sharon gave her dad a nervous smile as Andy put the bottle down and shifted Hannah, "Dad, we'll be right back. Please eat something."

"I'm not going to forget to eat or change my diet because I'm alone Shari," he frowned and took a bite. "She senses the sober mood," he nodded to Hannah in Andy's arms. "Let her get some rest."

Andy and Sharon were quiet as he followed her down the hall. Andy kept his eyes on Hannah, and Sharon led him into her bedroom where he saw a travel crib in the corner. The room was spotless, something that almost surprised him. In her grief, Sharon had kept order. He didn't know she was so tidy, partly because anytime the two were together, things were so messy between them. She stood to the side and gestured to Hannah's bed where he moved there and gingerly put Hannah in her travel crib. He couldn't help but notice her toy in the corner of the bed. After he put Hannah in bed, he covered her with a very light blanket Sharon handed to him. He kissed her head before stepping back and found Sharon standing there, her arms crossed, almost nervous again.

"We should get back," she said quietly and nodded to the door. He nodded back at her and followed her into the hallway where she was standing almost against the wall. The hallway was narrow, and he didn't have to step more than a couple of steps before he was across from her.

"If I don't get a chance to say it, thank you for letting me see her today," he offered a small smile. Sharon stood against the wall, nervous, and she nodded at him. She cleared her throat.

"It was the right thing to do," she nodded again, almost assuring herself. "You've done a lot here, including this. I appreciate you coming today, especially with Dad. I didn't specifically mention to you he would be here, and I should have done that."

"He's a good dad, Sharon," Andy told her, "something I want to be to Hannah." Sharon looked to the floor, and Andy just turned to walk down the hall.

Andy started back to the table, intent on finishing his visit and getting back on the road. Andy was already starting to sit when Sharon walked back into the room. Bob just looked at the two and took a bite of his fruit. He intrigued Andy, with his quiet demeanor. It was hard to know how much of that was his personality compared to his grief.

"Travel to Arizona much?" Bob asked Andy. Andy was surprised that, with all the questions, Bob was asking this. On one hand, though, the man had a lot on his mind.

"Ahhh, no," Andy said as he finished chewing a bite of the bread. "I've only been through Phoenix a few times, and Arizona as a whole, I just don't come here much. I'd like that to change; I'm willing to travel, to make the drive more often." He eyed Sharon, hoping she would look at him, hoping she would understand he waned to see Hannah and was wiling to do traveling. He continued to look at her until she finally glanced his way.

Bob's phone rang again, and he shook his head as he stood to answer it, "I'm sorry. I think the day is going to be like this, even for a Sunday."

"I need to go anyway," Andy stood, a nod to both of them. "I don't want to intrude and have a long drive."

Bob lifted his finger, to indicate Andy wait, but then Bob stepped away to take the call.

Andy turned to Sharon who was now standing with her hands on her chair, fidgeting again. He caught her eye, "I really enjoyed seeing Hannah this morning and feeding her."

Sharon nodded and gave a slight roll to her eyes, "My dad was an added bonus."

"I didn't mind meeting your dad, not at all," he said quickly. "I mean, like I said, a warning would have helped. I didn't think about the fact he could and would be home. He's Hannah's grandfather, and of course, I want to know him. I'm glad your mom knew Hannah and hope your dad is around for her while she's growing up."

"I do too," Sharon said, now tears in her eyes.

Andy sighed and dropped his head, "I didn't say that to make you cry."

"Just have a lot on my mind," she said, her voice wavering.

"That is why I need to go," he said. "I'd like to call you after you get settled to discuss Hannah, please."

She just nodded and dropped her head. He heard her take a deep breath, and she looked back at him, "Okay."

"Sorry," they both turned to her dad who sighed as he walked back into the room. Both, who were still standing at their chairs, looked to him. "That was the funeral home. I need to stop by there. They have a few things for me.

"Dad, we can go after Hannah's nap," Sharon told him.

"That's my cue to leave," Andy looked between them. "Thank you for breakfast," he nodded. "Bob, I'm glad I was able to meet you. I know no words can express my condolences, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers," Andy said and stuck out his hand.

Bob almost eyed him before shaking Andy's hand again, "Thank you for coming, today and this weekend. Take care, Andy."

"I'll walk you out," Sharon met Andy's gaze and gestured.

Andy walked in front of her, the two quiet as they walked through the house. It looked homey, and under normal circumstances, he would have wanted to stop and look at all the pictures, many of Sharon. He turned at the door and raised his eyebrows, "You let her keep the ape?"

She looked to him, surprised at the comment, and then she shook her head as she closed her eyes, "Where did you find that?"

Andy shrugged, "That baby store, the chain, whatever it is. Why? It's cute, and I mean, 'Andy the Ape'-Sharon, of all names, come on."

She tried to hold back her chuckle as she continued to shake her head. Finally, she sighed and looked at him, "It isn't the ape. I mean, the ape is fine, or it would be fine. Emily and Ricky bought her a giant one, the same thing, before she was born. It sits on her floor. They have no idea. I have to look at Andy the Ape every single time I walk into her room." Andy's face broke into a grin, one that was contagious. Sharon groaned as she started to smile, and she sighed. "I suppose the ape is here to stay?"

"I'd say it's a theme," Andy looked to her. "Be safe Sharon. Take time to grief; it's okay. I'll let you get settled and call you in a few days to talk about Hannah. I think we have a lot to discuss. Hopefully, we can talk about a time I can come and visit Andy the Ape," he winked and squeezed her arm as he stepped outside. He didn't try to kiss Sharon. That wasn't why he was here. They had not been and were not a couple. He was Hannah's dad, trying to get along with Sharon. He was here to focus on Hannah. As he started for his car, Sharon called to him.

"Andy," she said, and he turned. She stood there, her arms crossed and fidgety, "Thank you for coming-this weekend and today. I won't forget it."


	49. Chapter 49

She'd always loved Easter, but this year it had been hard to enjoy it. Sure, Hannah had helped, sweet little Hannah in her yellow Easter dress wearing the silly bunny ears Ricky had sent her. She was too young to enjoy anything like an Easter Egg hunt, and that was maybe a good thing this year. It had been two weeks now since Sharon had buried her mom, two weeks, but it felt like an eternity.

Sharon had spent the last two weekends since the funeral traveling to and from Phoenix to help her dad. Counting the funeral weekend, she'd been there three weekends in a row, and honestly, before that, she'd been there for spring break. It felt like she lived in Phoenix, and her car miles were adding up as well. Hannah was feeling it too, and now that Sharon was finally back home on this Easter Sunday evening, she didn't want to leave Flagstaff for at least a couple of weeks. She needed a break, and she had a feeling her dad did too. She'd been trying to help him the last couple weeks as he sorted through her mom's things. Last weekend, the two had tackled her mom's clothing. Some might have thought they were moving fast, not taking time to grieve, but both she and her dad felt the need to tackle things head on. This weekend, they had tried to enjoy Easter. Sharon had arrived Friday, and they'd tried to relax for the weekend. The two had taken Hannah to the community pool, but even that had its memories. Her mom had really enjoyed taking Hannah to the pool over spring break. The three had gone to Easter Mass, and they'd gone out to brunch after that. The afternoon, this afternoon, before driving home, her dad had given Sharon her mom's jewelry box. She'd sorted through it with her dad there at the house, the two talking about different memories with different pieces of jewelry. She'd taken almost everything home with her, almost everything but her mom's engagement ring. Her dad had wanted to keep that, and she was not about to argue with him over the ring he'd given her mom decades ago.

Now, it was finally time for Sharon to relax. She couldn't remember the last time she had just sat on her couch in the evening to watch a show on television. It had been a long time. Even the last two weeks, during the week, when she was home, she'd been busy grading papers, making phone calls, paying her own bills, and just falling asleep from exhaustion. Now that Easter was over and she had no reason to go back to Phoenix for the next few weeks, she was really looking forward to settling into her new normal.

Because, after losing her mother and multiple trips to help her dad, it was time to do that, to find her new normal. Life would go on, work would continue, Hannah would grow and develop, and her dad would find his footing. Yes, it was time to sit down for one evening and relax. Mindless television sounded perfect, and as she walked down the hall after putting Hannah to bed, she sighed at the sight of her couch. It looked like the perfect place for her over the next few hours.

After she sat, she turned on the television and flipped through the channels. As expected, she couldn't find much to watch, but finally settled on a police drama. It was billed as a crime show, but really, it was a drama. She continually rolled her eyes at it, the scenes showing a lot of things that would never happen in a real police setting. She lost interest quickly, and her mind started to wander. She looked around her apartment; it was a nice home for her right now, but she would need to do something more permanent here. She was enjoying her job, and the university seemed pleased with her work so far. She'd hated that she'd had so much drama right away with her job, but that was life; it was unpredictable, and she was hoping now that things would start to calm down for her.

Her eyes traveled to her photos on display there on her end table, and she smiled at her recent additions. Yes, life had been crazy the past few weeks, but she had managed to take a few pictures of her kids and get them framed. She had one of the three kids taken after the funeral. It seemed odd to take a picture after a funeral, but she had all three kids in town, and that didn't happen often. She had one next to it of her dad and the kids, the picture taken for the same reasons. Her mom's death had been sudden. Nothing was guaranteed, and if she had learned anything, it was to live for each moment, and to cherish her family time.

With that thought going through her mind, she reached forward to pick up her cell phone off the coffee table. She'd thought about calling him earlier in the afternoon, but she had put it off, telling herself on the drive home she needed to focus on driving. Now, it was getting late, and she was running out of excuses. She'd made excuses the last two weeks to not call him, but it was getting awkward, more than it had before. He'd made such an effort to be supportive during the funeral, that she needed to make this effort too. He hadn't been completely out of contact, though. He'd sent her a couple texts a week since leaving Phoenix to ask about Hannah. He'd asked Sharon how she was doing too, but he'd asked a lot about Hannah. She was changing so much and so quickly that it was easy to talk about her. Now, though, Sharon felt like she owed him a call. He'd kept his distance, as he'd promised, he'd been supportive, and through everything, he hadn't turned and walked away. He was surprising her, and men often did not surprise her, at least not in a good way.

"Andy, hi, it's Sharon," she said into the phone and cleared her voice. She instantly rolled her eyes at all of that, telling him who was calling because obviously he'd know from his caller id and then, she sounded even worse clearing her throat right into the phone. It wasn't the way she'd wanted to start the call at all."

"Hi," he said. "Hold on." She paused, almost ready to say something, and she waited. It sounded like he was out of breath, moving around, and she froze, hoping she hadn't called him in the middle of something. It sounded like he had someone there, and her mind started racing, thinking of what he could be doing if he was with someone, whether at his place or somewhere else. "You there?" Sharon heard him ask. "I'm back."

"Ahh, yes, I'm here," she paused and frowned at herself. "If I am interrupting, we can talk another time."

"I was just moving for more privacy," he said, and she nodded. He was with someone. "How is Hannah? She okay?"

"Umm, yes," Sharon nodded. "Shes' fine. Are you sure this is an okay time to talk?"

"I'm home," he said. "Oh, Happy Easter. Did Hannah have a good Easter?"

She frowned to herself; he hadn't really addressed anything about being home. It wasn't her place to ask. He was engaging her in conversation. If he didn't want to talk or was otherwise engaged, he could have told her. She nodded, again, then, rolling her eyes, as she realized he couldn't see her. "Yes, she had a nice day today. She was really the bright spot with my dad. It was a rough day for him, for me too, and she just kept smiling. I'm so glad she was there to help Dad especially today."

"I thought of your family often today," Andy said. "I'm glad Hannah helped so much."

"Oh, she has two teeth already," Sharon blurted. "I forgot to tell you that two cut through at the same time. She looks so adorable. Both are actually on the bottom. She just has the best personality. You didn't even know it, and they were there. I mean, I've been checking, and I could feel them below the gums, but there they were. I will send you a picture. I took one of her today in her Easter dress, and you could just barely see the teeth coming up on the bottom."

"I'd really like to see that. Thanks," he told her. "How are you holding up now? I know the last few weeks have been challenging to say the least."

She let out a long sigh and shook her head, "I'm okay. It's been a lot, but I'm okay. I was just thinking about that, and I'm glad to be home, to return to some normalcy. I don't know when I will be going back to Phoenix, but I think my dad and I just need our own time to process things. It's not that we don't get along; we get along really well, in fact, but I felt like I was hovering, and I'm sure he felt the same. We both need our alone time."

"Well, good, then, that you are getting back to work. You have, what, another month until the semester ends?" Andy asked.

"Yes, not even," she told him. "My classes will be done by April 30, just before then, actually. I have exams that week, and by the weekend, I will be done with the first semester."

"Congratulations, then, professor," Andy said with a slight chuckle. "You survived college."

Sharon chuckled too, "Well, I'm not technically a professor, but I appreciate the thoughts. Somehow, this feels like it has been harder than my first semester attending college. Of course, I wasn't juggling a baby and the mess I've had with Mom." She paused after saying that, her thoughts instantly going to her mother. The line was quiet as both allowed the moment to hang in the air.

"Regardless of title, you've taught at a university now almost a semester. You've come from a different line of work and moved to that. It has to be a good feeling. Now, do you teach over the summer?" Andy asked.

"I did volunteer to teach a section of an introductory course, one of those 'Intro to Criminal Justice,' and surprisingly, many don't enjoy teaching it or teaching it over the summer. I don't mind. It keeps me busy, and it's only the second summer session. It will be good for me. Teaching, I'm enjoying it," she explained.

"I'm glad things are working out for you, Sharon," Andy said. "I can hear it in your voice, the relief now. You sound tired, but content."

"I've been here a few months now, but am just starting to feel settled. Hannah seems to be feeling the same. She's adjusting to daycare, and I think she is happy."

"That's all I want for her," Andy sighed.

"It's also partly why I called, " Sharon told him. "Look, I know I agreed to talk about Hannah."

"I've not pressured you, Sharon, but yes, I want to discuss her, seeing her. Look, I don't want to fight, but I love her and believe she can be loved by both of us. A kid needs her dad."

"I've thought a lot, and I want to agree with you on that," Sharon said, fidgeting and stumbling over her words. "I'm still very cautious and guarded. A lot has happened for me. I've had a lot of time to think, to talk. I cannot let her out of my sight with you, and I am trying to trust you, but I know I'm not there. I would like to extend an olive branch so to speak, to offer you a time to visit her if it would work with your schedule."

"Really?" Andy asked, the excitement evident in his voice. "I will make it work. When were you thinking?"

"I was thinking a couple weekends from now, the end of the month, when the semester ends. I would like to get through that before I deal with you," she said and paused. "I'm sorry; that sounded worse than I wanted."

"So, in two weekends?" Andy asked, ignoring her comment.

"Yes, I am not sure of your work schedule, but that works for me," she told him.

"I'm on call this next weekend. The weekend you mentioned, it would work. I really want to come and see her. What did you have in mind for the weekend?" Andy asked.

"I haven't thought about it yet," Sharon sighed. "I'm still trying to decompress from the last two weeks. I have a lot to catch up on around here, and I am supposed to work all this weekend a the flower shop because we are prepping for a few things next week. I suppose we could just take it easy and see what the weekend holds."

"Okay," Andy nodded. "I'll be there. I can't wait. Thanks, Sharon, for calling."

"I didn't want to be a bother, but I knew you might need to make plans," she told him. "I can let you get back to your evening."

"My evening can wait a few minutes," he told her. "You and Hannah doing okay? Do you need anything?"

"Hannah and I are okay," she nodded to herself. "My dad has been spoiling her. It's like he's been able to pour his grief into her. Now that we are back home for awhile, I'm not sure how he will be. It will be an adjustment. I already see it. So many times I want to call my mom, but she's, she is not there."

"I wish I could help," he told her.

"You did," she told him. "I am realizing you want to help."

"I do. Listen, you get some rest. It sounds like you are tired. I'll plan for my visit. I'm already really looking forward to it. Thanks again," he said.

"Bye, Andy," she told him. "I'll make sure to send you pictures of Hannah."

Sharon hung up the phone and sat back against her couch. She took a deep breath, not even realizing just how much her heart had been racing. That call had been so hard for her. She couldn't remember a time she'd been that nervous on the phone. It was Andy. She'd spoken to him before. He'd seen her at one of her lowest points with her mom's death. He'd seen her in the bedroom, too, and it was absolutely ridiculous she was so nervous, but on the other hand, she was really stepping out right now. She was inviting him to see Hannah, and she wasn't sure she trusted that decision, but she'd made it. Her gut had been telling her to consider it. Her dad hadn't said much, but she could tell he agreed. So, she would try.

Back in his house, Andy walked back to his living room, where he threw his phone into his chair and then followed, slumping into it.

"What's wrong with you? You look like your favorite pony just died," Provenza told him.

Andy frowned, "Nothing, nothing at all, in fact. That was Sharon."

"She called you? That's a change," Provenza chuckled. "I thought you were stepping back from any bedtime tango with her. Was it that?"

"No, actually, it was about Hannah," he nodded. "She is inviting me to see Hannah."

Provenza's eyes widened, "Well, that's a switch. That's what you've wanted, time with your kid."

Andy just nodded, "Yeah, it is," he said and as he thought, smiled slightly. "Provenza, all I want now is a relationship with my daughter. I really hope Sharon is seeing I can do a decent job, that I want to do a decent job."

Provenza eyed him, "When's this visit? You realize, Flynn, you can't visit in a day?"

Andy shook his head, "Two weekends, and I'm going there. Sleeping with Sharon, that's not happening. I'm focusing on Hannah. She's what is important. Sharon has enough going on right now, and I can't be her bedroom crutch. I'm not sure she will ever trust me, but at least this is a start with Hannah."

"So, not happening?" Provenza raised an eyebrow.

Andy shook his head, "Absolutely not. I'm going to book a hotel now."


	50. Chapter 50

He stood outside her door and ran his palm down his jeans. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He checked his watch, 9:00, and he was right on time. He knocked.

"Andy, hi," Sharon opened the door quickly, almost as if she had been standing on the other side of it. She was slightly out of breath, and he could hear Hannah just inside the door. She glanced to his hand.

"Morning, Sharon," he said with a slightly shaky breath. "Ahh, these are for Hannah," he said offering her the potted violets. "I guess it seems silly to bring an infant a plant, flowers, really, knowing she can't water or take care of it, but I wanted to bring her something. Maybe if they live long enough, you can tell her they are from me, I guess, depending on what you tell her about me as she starts to recognize people," he said as he rambled. He didn't know exactly, now, why he'd bought the violets, but he remembered Nicole loving small things like this when she was young. He hadn't thought it through, and now, he was standing here looking like an idiot.

Sharon pursed her lips as she glanced at the flowers, Andy handing them to her. She gestured with her hand, "Wait, are those from the flower shop in town where I work? I recognize that pot," she nodded at the small, sweet pink and white striped flower pot.

Andy glanced at the flower pot, like he needed to double check something, "Yeah, I stopped by there this morning. I didn't tell them who I was or anything, if you are worried about that, but I wanted to bring a little something for Hannah to put in her room."

"Oh," Sharon said, her eyebrows raised in surprise as she accepted it. "Thanks. Ahh, come in," she gestured to the apartment, and she stepped aside to allow Andy inside. He could see Hannah on the floor, trying to scoot around the room.

"Is she crawling?" Andy grinned as he looked at Hannah. She was lying on her stomach, trying to move across the floor. Sharon had a blanket spread out for her where she was playing, and he could see a couple of infant toys, one at least, he was sure he'd gotten her, there on the floor.

Sharon held the flower pot in one hand and gestured to Hannah, "Ahh, not yet, at least not technically crawling. She's almost doing this scooting business. She hasn't mastered crawling yet. I am actually glad," she said as she closed the door and followed Andy into the room. He started to sit down on the floor near her as she continued her scoot. He watched, and he started to shake his head as she got frustrated.

"Eight months old now," he nodded. "Nathan skipped crawling. He did this roll thing, and then, he was an early walker. Nicole was a pretty typical baby with the regular crawling, then walking just before she was one."

Sharon gave him a small smile as she walked across the room and put the flower on her kitchen counter. She turned back to Andy, "Is it bad to admit I had to go back and look up Emily and Ricky's baby book information? I didn't remember either one. I mean, it was all such a blur. I remember both walked before they were one. Both did some form of crawling, but I couldn't remember the ages or dates at all. In my defense, it has been quite some time."

"No, that's not bad," Andy shrugged slightly. "It's not a surprise. You were a single mom, or the closest thing to a single mom. You had a deadbeat around, and trust me, I know what it's like. Deadbeat," he pointed to himself. "Now, that I want to change this time. I really appreciate you inviting me."

Sharon walked over and sat on the edge of her couch, close to Hannah there on the floor. Andy looked over and saw her coffee cup on the coffee table and figured that was her normal place to sit. "You went to the flower shop this morning?" Sharon asked, still stuck on that.

"Yeah," Andy smiled at Hannah as she grinned at him. He handed her a toy she had been playing with on the floor, and she put it in her mouth. He looked up at Sharon to answer her, "I stopped on my way over from the hotel."

"Hotel?" Sharon asked, her eyebrows raised. "You, you were in town last night?" She gestured with her hand as she said that, and she shook her head at him, trying to figure out the situation.

Andy made a face at Hannah as he answered Sharon, "I drove over here last night, after work. Late night, and I got in around 2:30 in the morning, but it was fine. I wanted to be here when we discussed. It's worth it," he said, still looking at Hannah as he ran his hand over her head. "Do you mind if I pick her up and hold her?"

"Oh, okay," Sharon said shaking her head. "It's fine. I mean, you are sitting there, and ahh, I guess, I mean, you don't have to ask."

"Thanks," he turned and grinned up at her before he turned back to scoop up Hannah. She started to make a happy, almost giggling sound as he put her onto his shoulder. He reached for his phone, and he turned back to Sharon. "Would you mind taking a picture of us? I just don't have pictures, just a couple. She's growing and changing so fast."

"Ahh, yes," she sat forward to take the phone from him. She snapped a couple of pictures before putting the camera back onto the table. "I'll take more today. I'm sorry I haven't sent more."

"I like getting pictures of her, if you don't mind. I mean, I appreciate the few you have sent," he explained.

She nodded, and gestured with her hand again, "So, you stayed in town last night?"

"I did," he nodded and continued, "same place I stayed when Provenza and I were here. It works."

"Ahh, okay," she nodded. She cleared her throat, but she didn't say anything. Finally, she stood up quickly, and Hannah almost jerked seeing the sudden motion. Andy felt Hannah shift, and he looked up to Sharon. "I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Could I get you a cup of coffee?"

"Sounds great," he said, kissing Hannah's head. "I appreciate it. I know this is taking up your weekend, your free time. I really appreciate the gesture. I know you probably don't trust things, but if you need to run any errands or do anything, I can watch her. I like being with her."

"Oh, it's fine," she waved at Andy from the kitchen where she poured him a cup of coffee. "I actually don't have plans. I thought, if you were interested, we could even take her on a walk," Sharon said nervously. "There is an arboretum here in town, and I haven't been there yet. My boss at the flower shop has spoken of it, but I've just not gone there to check it out. Anyway," she said as she took a deep breath, "it's one idea. I could use something to get me out of the house, that is, if you are interested."

Andy nodded as Sharon explained her suggestion. He raised Hannah about his head as he played with her, and then, he nodded at Sharon. "Yeah, that sounds great!" He smiled at her, "I didn't have a plan, and I'd love to spend the day with Hannah. I'm good with that, and like I said, if you need a moment, even to work here, clean, do anything at all," he stated, "I'll be glad to be with her."

"Well," she said as she brought him a cup of coffee and put it on the table next to him, "Let's check out the garden then."

"Thanks for the coffee," he nodded to her. Hannah started to kick at him, and he turned her to the floor, where he put her on her back and she started to roll around. Andy picked up the coffee, sipped on it, and he nodded again when he put it on the table. "Coffee tastes good. I needed that today."

"I am sorry, "she said, sighing. "I didn't even ask if you wanted cream or sugar for it. Can I get you anything?"

"It's fine just like this. I sometimes add cream, but that's it. I prefer it black usually. You?"

Sharon sat back, slightly surprised he was asking, "Oh, I guess I like a little cream and sugar. It's how I prefer my tea too, so it just carries over to coffee. Honestly, as long as it's not the coffee from the LAPD anymore, it's fine," she rolled her eyes as she let out a small chuckle.

"Well," Andy said as he slightly clapped his hands together before he continued, "what needs to be done to get this one ready for the park, or garden, or whatever?"

Sharon pursed her lips, thinking, "Her diaper bag is ready. I'll just grab a sweater or jacket for her to wear. It's still a bit cool for my liking for her. Ahh, I'll grab a bottle and some of her baby food."

"Lunch, right," Andy nodded. "Listen, I didn't know what you had planned, I mean, if I could spend the day with her, but if you are up to it, I'd love to take you both to lunch. If you are grabbing things for her, would that be okay, to take things for her to eat at lunch?"

"Umm, okay," Sharon nodded. "I don't want to be a bother. I hadn't made plans, but," she sighed and trailed off on her thought.

"Lunch it is," he nodded. "Let's get ready."

An hour later, the two were walking side by side through the garden, while Sharon pushed Hannah in the stroller. They weren't saying much, but they were looking around at the different plants. Finally, Andy spoke, "So, how is your dad? You mentioned needing a break from each other, and I can imagine it's hard to juggle so much right now."

"He's okay," she said with a deliberate tone. "He's adjusting. I almost think he's lived so long with my mom, he doesn't know how to live without her, but he's trying. Even simple things, laundry, bills grocery shopping," she shrugged, "Mom did all of that. He had his own chores. He could fix anything around the house, and he's just having to learn to do things. I guess I take that type of relationship for granted. I have pretty much been on my own."

"Right," Andy nodded. "I wouldn't know how to shop at the grocery store for someone now," he chuckled and gestured with his hand and continued, "well, I take that back. I shop for Provenza each week."

That broke the ice and had Sharon laughing. She nodded as she hummed and stopped walking to pick up Hannah's toy.

"Let me get it," he said and picked it up. He handed it back to Hannah, and Sharon cleared her throat again.

"Ahh, that monkey you got her, it's in the diaper bag if you want to get it. She does like it," she gave him a flat smile.

"She does?" Andy grinned. "I mean, I hoped she would, but still. It's like I don't know how to act. I want to do a good job, to get you to trust me, to prove myself. I guess I'm doing it as much for her as me. I almost don't trust myself."

She shrugged slightly, "Well, you came this weekend. That is a start, more than a start," she nodded. "I guess I am not sure why it surprised me you came, but I'm just not used to someone keeping his word with me. I didn't know you were in town last night."

"I'm just trying my best for Hannah," he gave her a soft smile. "Mind if I push the stroller?" Andy gestured to Sharon, and she stopped, almost not realizing she was the one pushing it.

"Sure, it's fine," she gave him a nod. "No one ever wanted to push the stroller for me. Thanks. Ahh, so tell me about your kids."

Andy gave her a slight glance, surprised she was asking about him, "You briefly met them that night. Honestly, I wish I had more to say. I feel like I learn about them each time I'm with them. I've been calling both more each week, especially after your mom," he sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't want to put your mind back on that, but if I learned anything from seeing that with you, it's that life is short. I've been trying. They are short with me, if they talk at all, but I keep trying. I hope when they finish their semesters we can spend some time together. They are both getting master's degrees while working, so they are busy. I don't know," he shook his head.

"Trying is, it is," she shook her head. "It's a lot, a start. Hannah started to squirm and fuss. Andy stopped the stroller, and Sharon bent down to deal with her. She pulled out the small snack bag she had and pulled out a small bit of food. Andy eyed it.

"So, what is that?" Andy asked nodding to it.

"Oh, these are called Puffs. They almost melt in her mouth. They aren't bad. I've tried them. She can somewhat gum them, but she's started to be able to eat those."

"Interesting," he nodded. "I've never heard of that."

"I've learned a lot myself," she crossed her arms as they continued to walk. Hannah worked on her food. "I don't know," she sighed. "They daycare parents could be my own children, and I'm there with her. Some of parenting is second nature, but I feel like I'm on a learning curve with so much."

"Well, you're doing a great job, Sharon. Thank you for taking such good care of her. How about applesauce?" Andy chuckled.

"Applesauce?" Sharon gave him a look and shook her head.

"Yeah," he gestured. "Do babies still eat applesauce? That's what I remember, feeding my kids applesauce and Cheerios."

Sharon closed her eyes, "You know, I hadn't even thought of applesauce yet. I really am losing it."

Andy gave her a single nod, "Well, if you are ready, let's get some lunch, where if you don't mind, I'd like to be the first to feed her applesauce."

By mid-afternoon, the three were returning to Sharon's apartment. Hannah had enjoyed her applesauce at lunch, and even Sharon had relaxed slightly. It was now almost 4:30, and it had been a full day. After lunch, Sharon had needed a few things at the grocery store, so Andy had walked around with her as she shopped. He could tell she was uneasy about Hannah, about leaving him with Hannah, but he appreciated being invited to Flagstaff at all. As they were parking, in Sharon's car too, nonetheless, Hannah started to cry.

Sharon sighed, "She's tired. She didn't nap well this morning or this afternoon. Usually, she's home for at least one nap."

Andy nodded, "I'm sorry. That's my fault, throwing off her routine. Let me get her out of her seat," he said and jumped out as Sharon turned off the car. He quickly unbuckled Hannah and pulled her out, her small body curling up on Andy as he did. He patted her back to soothe her, and Sharon got out and collected her things. She glanced at them.

"She is tired," she nodded at Andy. "She has her eyes closed on your shoulder."

"Well," he nodded, "maybe, just maybe, she feels safe with me. I hope she does, she will."

"Let's get her inside," Sharon told him. "If she sleeps now, she won't sleep well at bedtime."

"Would a bath now help? It always helped my kids," he explained.

"Ahh, maybe," she said. "Maybe a bath and her bottle and then off to bed. I'm not sure she wants to eat more tonight. She had that applesauce at lunch and more Puffs this afternoon. That's about the extent of her regular food for now, just a few things a day."

"Can I help with her bath?" Andy perked up. "I mean, no reason for you to have to get wet," he chuckled. "I will bathe her if you want."

"Okay," Sharon said. "Thank you for lunch. I'm so full still. I was really hungry."

"You're welcome," Andy said as they walked to her door. "It was nothing, and I agree that I'm not hungry. I never imagined you as a sub sandwich type of person."

Sharon shrugged. She had suggested a very simple sandwich shop in town, knowing lunch could be awkward. She didn't want Andy to pay, but she had a feeling he would do just that. He did, and she had to admit he was sneaky about it, but it only confirmed her wanting to go somewhere simple. She didn't want a fancy meal or a big production for lunch. Honestly, she was surprised the sandwich shop had applesauce, but Andy had asked, and they did have it, as part of their kids' menu. Both had ordered a sub sandwich, and it had worked just fine. It wasn't a normal place Sharon ate, but it was popular with the university students and faculty. It had worked today, even if she would have picked other places normally to eat. "Well, it just sounded good. I've heard other faculty talking about it, and I though we could try it."

Andy watched her as she explained that, not sure she was telling the truth, but he just nodded as he tried to calm Hannah.

"Someone is definitely tired," he said.

"A bath will help and take her mind off it. If she can last until 6:00, I don't mind putting her down then. It's a little early," she gave a small shrug, "but it's fine. Even if she's up early tomorrow, it will be okay."

"Look," he said as Sharon unlocked her place, "I'm really sorry if I threw off her schedule so much. See, this is where I just need you to tell me that, to remind me. I should have thought about it, that she would need a better nap, two naps," he rolled his eyes. "I wasn't thinking."

"Hmm, well, I thought she might sleep better in the car or in her stroller. It's okay," she waved at him. "She had a good day, a big day, and we will recover tomorrow."

The two spent the next hour getting Hannah ready for bed. Andy was able to bathe her, while Sharon put away Hannah's laundry and checked on her every few minutes. She was finding it hard to step away from her, but she was doing it, allowing Andy to complete basic tasks. It was silly because her dad took care of Hannah. Emily and Ricky took care of her. Helen, her boss, had helped with Hannah, and Hannah also went to the daycare all the time. Yet, something about Andy had her nervous, and she was trying to calm herself and let him help.

After her bath, Hannah was ready for her bottle. Andy asked if he could feed her, and then, he asked if Sharon would take a picture of him feeding her. She did, and while he fed her, she worked around her kitchen, putting away the things that had been in her dishwasher. Soon, it was time for Hannah to go to bed.

Andy put the bottle down and raised his hand toward Sharon to come closer. As she approached, he nodded to Hannah, who had her lips pursed like Sharon often did and was almost asleep in the crook of his arm.

"She's exhausted," Sharon gave a small smile.

"She is, and she's amazing," he whispered. He moved forward in the chair to get ready to stand. Sharon stood back and watched him stand with Hannah in his arms. She nodded down the hall and followed him down the hall. He placed her in her crib, and he checked around her, certain she was set for the night. Both adults backed out of the room and then started down the hall. Sharon, nervous again, started to mess with her hands. She walked into her living room and started picking up Hannah's things.

"So, thanks for today," Andy nodded to her. "It was a good day, one of the best I've had in a long time."

Sharon stopped and looked up at him, "You're welcome," she said with a small smile. "It was a good day."

"You have plans for tomorrow? I mean, I'd like to see her before I have to head home," he explained.

She shook her head, not sure what he was saying, "Ahh, yes, I mean, I thought," she stopped talking. She looked at him.

"I'm guessing you might be going to church, and if you are free, can I see Hannah after that? I'm going to get going, back to my hotel now," he told her.

Sharon tried to hide the surprise on her face, "Oh, um, yes, okay," she nodded, trying to figure out what to say next. "Yes, I will take her to Mass. We could, ahh," she paused.

"Tell you what," he said to her and continued, "how about I bring lunch here?"

"Fine," she nodded, still a little stunned.

"Okay, then," he clapped his hands together. "What can I do to help clean up here?"

"I've got it," she said, pursing her lips again. "You sure this," she gestured.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, not letting her finish her statement. "Night, Sharon," he said as he walked by her and squeezed her arm. "I'll let myself out. Get some rest and relax. I know the last few weeks have been a lot."

"Ahh, night," she said, shaking her head slightly. "I'll text you?"

"Sure," he smiled warmly and nodded to her, "text me the details for tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to seeing Hannah again."

Andy walked quickly to the door, opened it and left, leaving Sharon standing there a bit stunned and not sure exactly why.


	51. Chapter 51

He kept smacking at his alarm clock, but it wasn't working. As he started to wake up, he realized it wasn't his alarm making the sound, but his phone. He still didn't trust the alarms on his phone. He liked the old-fashioned ones next to the bed whether at home or a hotel, but right now, he needed to focus. Andy sat up, ran his hand over his face, and he answered it.

"Hello," he said, clearing his throat as he answered.

"Andy, oh, I woke you. I'm sorry," Sharon said into the phone.

"No, no," he waved it off, gestured in the air. He rolled his eyes as he did so, realizing no one was around to see that. "I'm awake, just sitting here in my room. Everything okay?"

"Oh, yes, fine," Sharon said quickly. "Listen, I'm heading out for Mass with Hannah, and then, I will be home for her to get a nap. I know we talked about eating here, but I think she and I would be up for getting out of the apartment if you don't mind. We could meet you somewhere."

"Lunch," Andy repeated and nodded to himself. "Lunch out sounds great," he said happily, not sure what had changed Sharon's mind. "I'll swing by your place that way you don't have to rely on Hannah's sleep schedule. What time would work for you?"

"Well, okay," she told him. "Why don't you stop by around 11:30. She and I should be home from Mass around 9:15, and that will give her time to nap."

"Perfect," he said. "Did she sleep okay, I mean after her long day yesterday?"

"She did," Sharon told him. "She was only up about a half hour early, not bad at all."

"Glad to hear it. Did you sleep well?" Andy asked.

"Me?" Sharon asked. "Oh, ahhh, I slept fine."

"Good," he nodded. "I'll let you get to church, and I'll be by around 11:30."

"Thanks, Andy," she said. "See you then."

Andy spent the next couple hours getting ready for his day. He went downstairs and found a cup of coffee, content with that, knowing he would have lunch with Sharon soon enough. He had to check out of his hotel, as he was driving back to Los Angeles after his visit with Hannah and Sharon today. So far, the weekend had gone well. While he had wanted to stay and talk to Sharon, okay, maybe even more, last night, he knew it wasn't the thing to do right now, maybe not ever again, but he had to focus on right now. He needed to keep his mess simplified and let Sharon figure out her own life, his role in her life, at least to the extent that she would hopefully realize he was there and not going away. He wanted to be around, for even both of them, but now, he could only focus on Hannah because Sharon needed to focus on herself.

Before leaving the hotel, he stopped at the front desk and asked about a nice place for lunch. He was aware Sharon had tried to pick somewhere extremely casual for their Saturday lunch. The food had been good, but it wasn't hard to see that this was not a typical "Sharon" style restaurant. Today, with her suggesting lunch out, he was going to find somewhere to sit down and enjoy a meal. Sure, it would be "Hannah friendly" too, but there were plenty of places he could take them for a nice lunch.

Andy arrived at Sharon's at 11:15 and knocked softly. He glanced down at his outfit, his khaki pants and light purple polo shirt. He looked up when she opened the door. He couldn't help but smile. She looked really beautiful, her hair partially pulled back, in a knee-length light pink, almost cream-colored dress she'd obviously worn to church. It was simple, but as he'd been getting to know her, very Sharon in that it was void of patterns, just simple, but it looked very elegant on her.

"Morning," he said before she could say anything to him.

"Morning," she stepped aside, gesturing for him to walk into her apartment. "Thanks, I mean about the change of plans."

"Not a problem," he said as he turned back to her. She was closing the door, and he noticed she had heeled sandals on her feet. She looked back at him. "Hannah still sleeping?"

"She is," Sharon nodded. "I hope that's okay. I don't want to wake her."

"Of course," he smiled warmly. "I don't want that either. We can just sit and talk."

She nodded and gestured to her small patio area, "We can sit outside here. I don't have all of my patio furniture out of my garage storage area, but I do have a small patio table and chair set out."

"I can help," he offered. "I mean, if you need more out, I can move furniture."

"It's fine," she waved at him. "I'm not sure I'm going to pull much more out. The patio set takes up most of my space. Would you like something to drink, coffee?"

"A glass of water sounds good," he told her as he walked to the sliding door and looked out at her patio. "This is a nice apartment."

She nodded from the kitchen, "It works, but I want to find something more permanent. I think staying here a year will be enough, but as it gets closer to the winter, I want to look around for a house, townhouse, something else."

Andy met her gaze, "I'm glad you are happy here, Sharon. I hope you can find the answers you want."

"Oddly," she cleared her throat, "it feels more like home than L.A. did, but I felt there I was always looking over my shoulder, always checking to see if Jack was going to show up in our lives. I feel like I'm settling down now and starting to relax."

"I hope I don't make you uneasy, worried that I'm going to be a problem like Jack," he said.

"I continue to see you are nothing like Jack," she said in a rather flat tone. She didn't look at him. "Ahh, shall we go outside?" Sharon said that quickly as she walked toward him, the drinks in hand, as she looked to the door and not to Andy. He opened the sliding door, and the two stepped outside to sit. Sharon left the door slightly open to listen for Hannah as they were seated.

"So, the semester is over," Andy said as a statement while he looked over to Sharon. She sipped on her tea and hummed.

"Yes, it is. I'm just finishing my grades for my classes. It's been such a blur this semester, especially with all that has gone on in my life. I'm looking forward to the summer here, the cooler weather to get outside," she gave him a small smile.

"I bet," he nodded. "The air, it's much better here, not the smog from L.A.," he chuckled.

"Yet, you love L.A., right?" she asked.

Andy looked at her, and she was looking back at him, asking a simple question and waiting for an answer. "I ended up in L.A., and yeah, it's been home. I'm used to it. I still recognize there are many other places out there, many better than L.A.," he winked at her.

Hannah could be heard, and Sharon stood. "She's awake, and I'll get her ready if you are ready to go?"

"I'll get her," he offered. "I mean, I would like to get her if it's okay with you?"

"Sure," Sharon gave him a warm nod and smile. "I'll clean this up and grab my purse."

Andy grinned at that, and he took off to get Hannah. He found her sitting in her crib and starting to cry more than she had been.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he said as he picked her up and kissed her head. "Oh, wow, you need a diaper change," he chuckled to himself and started to look around the room. He hadn't memorized it yet, but he'd really only seen it now a couple times. He saw the diapers by the changing table and carried here there, making quick work of changing her. She tried to roll around, and he chuckled as he found her feisty attitude refreshing. She wanted to move around and get off the changing table. He didn't blame her, and once she was dressed, he picked her up and kissed her again. "Well, look at this sweet dress," he patted at her stomach, her light blue dress still on her from church. It had a small ruffle around the bottom of it, and it really looked sweet on her. He noted that it looked good with her dark hair, which he tried to smooth down with his hand. She'd slept hard, it seemed, and her hair was sticking up.

"Sharon," he called down the hall as he carried her, "does she have a brush for her hair?"

Sharon called out behind him, and he turned to see that she was coming out of her bedroom with her purse and a light sweater. He hadn't noticed her walk by Hannah's room. "She has one, and I think it's in her bathroom. I didn't need a brush for Emily or Ricky until much later," she laughed. "I'm impressed you noticed her hair."

"I notice pretty girls," he flashed a grin and disappeared into the bathroom to take care of her hair. Sharon checked on the place, turning off the light in Hannah's room now, and when she walked into the living room, Andy followed shortly after she did.

"Ready to go?" she asked, digging out her keys.

"I'd like to drive, if you don't mind," he offered.

She narrowed her gaze and pursed her lips. He jumped in before she could say more, "If you are worried about her car seat, I bought that one in Phoenix. It's in my car, top of the line and safe. I put it in for the weekend, hoping I could help out. I'd love to drive you both to lunch."

"Oh, ahh, okay," she nodded. "I haven't even thought about where to go."

"You're in luck," he grinned; "I've thought about that too. Let's go," he gestured, Hannah in his arms, as he nodded and smiled at Sharon before they left the apartment.

A half hour later, they were seated at a bistro serving a nice Sunday brunch. Andy had called ahead to make sure they were kid-friendly, and he was glad to hear it was a place Sharon hadn't tried yet.

"I've heard a few colleagues talking about this place," she said as they were seated. She glanced around, and it was evident she was a bit nervous. Andy looked around too.

"Sharon, is this place okay? I mean, are you nervous about being seen here with me? I guess we haven't discussed explaining me to anyone you meet," he said.

"Ahh, it should be fine," she said, still nervous. "I can always say you are a friend visiting from L.A.," she shrugged, but he could tell she was a bit nervous even at that explanation.

He raised an eyebrow as they both studied the menu. Hannah was busy with the food Sharon had put out for her, a few Puffs and part of a banana. He tried to get Sharon to look at him, but she was stuck on the menu, "Is that what I am? Am I a friend?"

Sharon looked up at that, and she let out a slight sigh, "I think so," she nodded. "I think you've earned that title. You've proven that. I think saying I'm your friend Sharon is appropriate."

"I'll take it," he gave her a small smile. Both returned to studying their menus. Andy broke off more of the banana for Hannah, and then he asked Sharon, "What looks good?"

She pursed her lips, and Andy started to chuckle. She looked up at him and shook her head, "What?"

"That expression," he nodded to her. "Hannah makes it. I just noticed you have the same expression."

Sharon changed her facial expression, "What? What expression?"

"Just that, the deep in thought," he chuckled. "I'm going to get the veggie wrap."

She rolled her eyes as he chuckled, and she just hummed, "Blueberry pancakes."

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow. "I didn't take you as the blueberry pancake type."

She shrugged again, "My mom loved them. I was just thinking of her, and it sounds good today. That's all."

"Well, by all means," he said. "I'm sure if your mom was here, she'd order them with you."

"Hmm, well, she'd grill you, that I can attest," Sharon chuckled lightly. "She'd want to know everything about you."

"Would she?" Andy eyed her. "I have nothing to hide. I have plenty in my life that I'm not proud to admit, but I don't hide or lie. Your dad, he didn't say much when I met him, but wow, I could feel him sizing me up just sitting there. Was that the grief talking or his personality? I couldn't tell."

"Both," she admitted, as she turned her attention to Hannah and smiled at her. "My dad is quiet, not stupid. He's very observant. He and my mom complimented each other. She was the talkative one. He is the silent observer, but very wise. He didn't say much about you to even me, and that's the truth."

Andy nodded, "Well, surely he couldn't be happy to come face to face with the guy who'd walked away from you and Hannah."

Sharon pursed her lips and let out her breath, "I explained the situation, that you signed the paperwork, but that you had not walked away. Walking away is Jack, what Jack did. I wanted you to walk away, I suppose, but you keep coming back, proving me wrong."

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I hope you know I am nothing like Jack and never want to be anything like him. I know you can't understand a father wanting to be there for his kid. I'm not sure I understood it completely with Nicole and Nathan, but I want that here, with Hannah, for you to see that, for you to trust that and trust me. I want to be in your lives."

The waitress appeared, interrupting their conversation. It broke the building tension, and after she ordered, the two turned their attention to Hannah who was happily playing with her food. Sharon turned back to Andy and cleared her throat, "I wanted to speak to you about her college account. Andy," she sighed and wiped her mouth, trying to phrase her words, "After you left, I spent my exciting evening last night paying bills. I checked her account, mostly to make sure my deposits from work were going in correctly, and I'm shocked. You, you shocked me again, Andy. You are putting way too much money into that account. I never asked you to do that."

Andy put his hands into his lap and turned to her, "Sharon, I told you I was going to put money into her account. I have monthly deposits coming out of my check."

"I'm aware," she sighed. "It's just too much. I never asked you to do that."

"I know you didn't. A parent doesn't have to be asked. It's what I want to do, what I'm going to do. Look, I did the same with my other kids, and I'm not about to change it now. With them, I wasn't able to see much of them, and the financial part was all I could do. This time, I want more."

"More?" she asked.

"More," he said. "Hannah- you too-are not a financial obligation. I want to be able to call her my daughter, to be her dad. I want you in my life too."

She shook her head and looked to Hannah, "The money for her is just a, a lot," she almost stumbled.

"Great," he said. "If what I'm putting in there is enough, you can worry about other things. Look, I know how this all started," he said, and she looked at him, her eyes raised. "I know this was just a fun arrangement until it wasn't. I know we weren't invested in each other. I'm telling you I'm investing in more now, Sharon. I'm invested, and not just in the financial aspect. I'm trying to be more invested in all ways, not just financially, but in my relationships, everything."

"So, you're seeing someone?" she asked, her voice wavering.

Andy's eyes grew wide, "No!" he said with a shocked tone, and he started to gesture with his hand. "That's not what I'm saying at all. How do you jump to that? I'm invested in this," he gestured to the table. "The only person I see at home is Provenza," he grumbled.

"I'm, I'm sorry," she sighed and looked to Hannah. "This is all so strange to me."

"Me too," he admitted. "Look, I was thinking about it last night again. I can't stand Sandra. She's my ex-wife, and that's all I see. I realize she's the mother to Nic and Nathan, but I can't stand her right now. She's made it abundantly clear she thinks I'm the worst thing on the planet. I know I messed up, but she can't see change. That situation is so different from this. I want there to be no mistake here; I don't see you and Sandra in the same light at all, never will."

Sharon looked around, slightly nervous, and she cleared her throat, "I'm trying hard to do the same; I really am."

Their food arrived, turning their attention to that. Hannah got impatient too, wanting her bottle, so Andy stopped to feed her. They looked like a happy family out to eat, even though, they were far from it. Lunch continued with much lighter conversation, focusing on mundane topics like the weather. As they were getting ready to leave, Andy looked at her.

"I don't want any argument about lunch; I'm paying. I enjoy paying, taking you out to eat. Thanks for the suggestion to go out today. I've had a really nice time with you two ladies," he explained.

Sharon was almost tongue-tied at his compliment. While she processed that, he flagged over the waiter and handed him cash. Sharon looked up as the waiter walked away, "It's not necessary to pay for my meal."

"It's what friends do, Sharon," he winked. "Friends display kindness, put forth a good effort. Now, are you set?"

"I know you need to get on the road," she told him.

"I do, and the drive should go quickly, thinking of the lovely weekend I've had here," he gave her a small smile as he stood to get Hannah. The two were almost out of the bistro before they ran into one of Sharon's students.

"Captain Raydor, hi," she said to them, eyeing both of them.

"Vanessa," Sharon nodded to her. "Finished with exams?"

"Just did Friday, and I'm moving into an apartment for the summer. Cute baby. I didn't know you had kids," she smiled at Hannah and then up at Andy.

Sharon gestured to Hannah, "Oh, ahh yes, my youngest, Hannah, and my friend," she gave a nod to Andy. She started to fidget in place.

"Hope she wasn't too hard on your grades," Andy grinned extending his hand. "Andy. How was her class?"

"Awesome," Vanessa's eyes widened. "The stories she had of her time in the LAPD-they were great. You wouldn't believe what she would tell us."

"I'm sure I wouldn't," Andy chuckled glancing at Sharon. Sharon shook her head and sighed.

"Well, nice to see you," she nodded.

"You too, Vanessa," Sharon said and stepped outside. Andy followed, holding Hannah.

"Look at that, the world survived hearing we are friends," he winked at Sharon. She rolled her eyes, and he continued, "So, they call you captain?"

"Her class came up with it," Sharon explained. "I enjoyed my classes. They weren't too large, and it was nice to know each student by name. They thought since I'd been Captain Raydor, I should stay it, even though my job changed."

"Yeah, well, life is funny," he stated. "Some things, they will never change. Other things, change is good; change is for the better. I, for one," he said as he opened the car door for Sharon and then to put Hannah in the backseat, "am glad my opinion on Captain Raydor changed." He busied himself with Hannah, not paying attention to Sharon who was left standing there speechless on the sidewalk. She finally composed herself to get into his car, and she turned to check on Hannah.

"I hate you spent all that money on this car seat," she sighed.

"I'm not," he said as he stood to close the door. "It's one of my favorite purchases ever."

Andy had them back at Sharon's apartment soon, and as it was now after lunch, and he had a long drive, he looked over to her when they parked.

"Thank you for driving over here this weekend, for sticking to your word," she said before he could. She gave him a small smile.

"Thanks for the invite, and know, I try to keep my word all the time. I believe in that. I probably should get on the road," he said.

"Would you like anything for the drive, coffee?" she asked.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Thanks, though, but I'm full right now. Let me help you get her inside," he offered.

"I can do that," she said, opening the door to get out of the car. He just rolled his eyes and opened his door.

"I know you can, Sharon. I just wanted to help and to say goodbye. I don't know what your plans include for the future," he said.

He opened the door and unbuckled Hannah, kissing her as he lifted her. She was still in her sweet little dress, and he ran his hand over her head.

"She'll be crawling and walking before you know it," Sharon said, clearing her throat.

"I'd like to see it, I mean, if that's possible, her crawling and walking sometime soon. I'd like to visit you ladies again," he stated. Sharon started to walk next to him as they walked to her door.

Sharon fumbled with her keys as she looked down at the ground. Andy held Hannah while Sharon put her key in the lock and turned it, opening the door. She turned back to Andy, "I can get her from here. This has been a good weekend," she nodded, "not what I expected on many levels. Thank you," she gave him a small smile.

"Likewise," he said. Andy had said so much already and didn't want to ruin their civility. "So, umm, I'm going to go," he told her. He held up Hannah in front of his eyes, "I love you. You be good for your mom and don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Walking," he nodded his head, "it's not all that exciting." Sharon chuckled, and she shook her head.

"You realize she is going to grow up?" Sharon said in a slightly teasing tone.

Andy kissed Hannah again and handed her to Sharon as he nodded, "Sadly, I know. Just hate she's growing up so fast."

"I promise I'll send you pictures of her," she said, taking Hannah. "I'll do a better job of it. You've really done well with her, better than I imagined, and I appreciate it."

Andy raised his eyebrow, but he just nodded. "I look forward to anything you will send. Maybe we can talk more soon? I mean," he gestured nervously with his hands, "about visits and looking at our schedules, if you want?"

She pursed her lips and glanced at Hannah. She looked back to find Andy looking at her, hopeful, "Sure," she nodded. "We can do that."

"Well, I should be going then," he said, almost in a fidgety stance. "You take care of yourself, Sharon," he reached over and squeezed her shoulder where she had Hannah in her arms. "Call me for anything, if you need anything, or hey," he grinned, "if you ever just want to talk. I'd be okay with that."

"Be safe going home," she said, her voice a bit shaky. She looked to Hannah and held up her hand, "Wave bye to Andy." Andy chuckled and threw a quick wave to Hannah and Sharon as he stepped away.

"Bye ladies," he called to them.

"Andy," she called to him as he started down the walkway. He turned around, and she gestured with her hand, "Ahh, it looks like I have to testify in L.A. sometime in May. The details aren't set yet. Anyway," she took a deep breath, "I wanted to see how things went this weekend before I made any decisions, and well, maybe I can see you."

He raised his eyebrows at her, and then, he thought carefully about what to say next, "I'd really like that. Let me know the details, whether it's just you or if you are bringing Hannah, whatever, Sharon, and I'd like that. I'll talk to you soon."


	52. Chapter 52

He kept checking his watch. Leave it to Chief to keep them late the one night they were supposed to be out on time. Was there really an "on time" in police work? He didn't think so, and with Chief, he was sure they hadn't had a normal day at work ever. He glanced at his watch again.

"Andy, am I keeping you from a hot date?" Brenda teased when she caught him looking at his watch again. He looked up at her and saw her with her head tilted, a half smile on her face, looking at him.

"Sorry, Chief," he gave her an almost frown. "I, ahhh, I'm just ready to get out of here. Too many dirt bags in here this week if you ask me," he threw her a smirk. He heard the rest of the team chuckle, as Brenda took off her glasses to look around the room.

"You know, this can wait," she sighed. "I'd much rather meet Fritzy for dinner. Chief Pope wants this department update done, but, well, I'll deal with him another day. I could care about department regulations. It's late enough," she waved. "Go, everyone, go." Brenda didn't wait for any comments; she walked to her office and sighed at the long day.

Andy didn't waste any time either; he gathered his things and stood, giving a nod to Provenza as he did. The two had talked. Provenza knew of the evening plans. Julio caught Andy as he was leaving, "Sir, off to one of your meetings?"

Andy paused his actions and glanced toward Julio, "I just need to get going. I have somewhere I have to be soon. Have a good night, everyone," he threw a wave to the group as he started fo the door. He didn't want to get stopped by anyone else, so he made a quick exit. Andy needed to get going. Sharon and Hannah were on their way to L.A. because, as Sharon had told him when he'd visited, she had to come to Los Angeles to testify in another case. It was something she would probably have to do on and off for the foreseeable future; it was just one of those things that came with the job.

Since he'd left Flagstaff, the two had spoken more on the phone, and true to her word, Sharon had been sending him more pictures. He sensed that she was softening a little, at least with him. He hoped she was seeing that he was genuine and not going anywhere. He wanted to be around them for good. He was really exited they were coming, even if she had to come for work. He was hoping things would go well on this trip and had worked out a deal with Sharon regarding Hannah. He'd convinced her to bring Hannah. At first, she had said she was going to leave her in Phoenix with her dad because she knew her time in Los Angeles would be short, and she would be busy. Andy had come up with a plan and was going to take off a half day to stay with Hannah while Sharon was in court. At firs, he wasn't sure Sharon was going to go for it, but she finally had agreed. While she didn't say it, he figured that leaving Hannah with her dad was a little hard too, not that he couldn't care for her, but he was still dealing with his own grief. It was now only the second week of May, and the irony was not lost on Andy that Mother's Day was this coming weekend. Sharon had tried to dodge the topic, even at first telling Andy she had to get back home on Saturday, but he'd asked her to stay until Sunday, neither of them actually bringing up the topic of Mother's Day. He thought it would be good for all of them-Sharon, Hannah, and for him too. Sharon would miss her mom; he knew that. He missed Hannah and wanted to spend every minute with her, so staying longer was good with him. He also wanted Sharon to stay, not that he could easily tell her that right now. It had been hard to just walk away from her in Flagstaff. He was very attracted to her, and his intimate memories of her were fresh in his mind. Still, he was trying to stay focused on Hannah right now, and that was hard to do.

As he drove to the airport, he felt himself getting more and more excited. Provenza knew of his plans, and he was going to play his own part in the evening. Andy didn't trust himself around Sharon. It was one thing back in Flagstaff when he was staying at a hotel and could leave her apartment. He'd done that, and he had thought of her all evening, all lonely evening while he sat in his empty hotel room. It had been really tough for him to walk away from her. He knew what she wanted that night, and he would have been lying to say he would have enjoyed jumping into bed with her too. Emotions were running high, at least for him, and he was in too deep. He knew Sharon had a lot to process and couldn't mess this up, not now. His hotel had been his safety net, but tonight, for this trip, he didn't have a safety net. He'd invited Sharon and Hannah to stay at his place. He knew she would argue it, and he'd had gone over the various arguments in his head. His house was big, big enough for Sharon and Hannah. He had a travel crib for her. Hannah would have space to spread out on the floor to play. Sharon didn't have to worry about germs like she did at a hotel. They could share his car, saving her that hassle. Plus, with his offer to help with Hannah, it made more sense to have the three of them all in one place. He was going to stay at home with Hannah in the morning while Sharon was in court, and then, he would go to work in the afternoon while she stayed with Hannah. He had wanted to take off the whole day, but he hadn't because of a mandatory training. Provenza had even tried to get him out of it, but it hadn't worked. Still, it was only the afternoon, and he hoped Sharon would spend some time just relaxing with him out of the house.

He checked his watch, mindful of the time. This time of day, traffic was terrible, and today was no exception. Sharon had driven to Phoenix last night and stayed with her dad, who had then driven her to the airport today. He hoped the flight with Hannah had gone well. It wasn't a long flight, but flying with a baby was still stressful. Hannah was a good baby, but she was getting more and more active, and that could be unpredictable with travel. He was really exited and was glad he'd kept a lid on his excitement while at work. This was huge, Sharon coming, bringing Hannah, and even staying at his house. Andy didn't think Sharon had told her dad she was staying with him, but still, her dad knew of some of the plan, and that too, was huge. It was all a big step forward. He knew it was huge, and he really wanted the trip to go well. He wanted to show Sharon so much about his life, his character, and running late now wasn't the way to do it.

He tried her phone, wanting to tell her he was running a little late, but she didn't answer. It went right to her voicemail, and he wasn't sure if that meant she'd landed or not. She should have, by the timing, but traffic, both by car and air, was always busy in Los Angeles.

"Sharon, I'm running late. I'm sorry, but I'm on my way. Let me know what door you are at, and I'll be by to get you," he said and then hung up the phone. He sighed, aware the trip wasn't off to the start he wanted.

He continued his drive, trying to keep his cool, and finally a half hour later, he was almost at the airport. He just sighed, but then, it dawned on him he hadn't heard from Sharon either to tell him where to get her at the airport. He called her number again. They weren't exactly speaking each day, but they were talking more than they had been. Somehow, stepping away from a physical relationship with her was improving their communication.

"Sharon," he said into the phone when she answered this time.

"Andy, hi," she told him. "I'm here, in L.A.," she sighed. "Sorry, but I had a bit of a mess when I got off the plane. I'm still not even out of the airport."

"Oh good," Andy let out his breath, and then, he quickly corrected himself. "I mean, it's good you aren't waiting, but I'm sorry about your mess. What happened?"

"It's Hannah," she groaned. "She was doing so well on the plane, and as we were landing, you know, when you can't get out of your seat, she had a diaper blowout. It couldn't have happened at a worse time, and I've been cleaning both of us up since we got off the plane. I'm just ready to be done with this trip already."

"Sorry," Andy groaned. That wasn't what he wanted to hear at all. He'd really hoped the flight had gone well, and he knew what a mess a diaper situation could cause. "Where are you? I'm coming into the airport now."

"Ahh, let's see, Arrivals," she told him, but that didn't really tell him anything. "Tell you what-we are walking out the door now. Let me get by the curb and talk you through this."

"Fair enough," he said. "We'll get you two situated, and hopefully, that's the worst part of your trip."

A half hour later, with Sharon and Hannah secure, Andy was heading toward his house. He kept glancing at Sharon, who had her hands clenched one moment and was fidgeting with them the next. He glanced back at Hannah, secure in the car seat he had for her. He hated hiding the thing, but he'd done just that at work. The last thing he needed was someone seeing it and asking him about it. He'd stored it in his trunk, only stopping to put it in the car after he got out of the parking garage at work. It felt like he was hiding his life, and yeah, he was, but everything was just such a mess.

"Thanks again for picking us up and everything," Sharon said fidgeting with her hands. "If Gavin wasn't out of town for work, I could have asked him to do some of this."

Andy casually rolled his eyes at her when he met her gaze, "You know I'm glad to do it. I'm really glad to see you both." Andy had almost hopped out of the car when he pulled up to get them. He'd run around to the curb, giving Hannah and Sharon a bit of a side hug. It had been slightly awkward, but neither commented on it.

"If it's a problem to stay until Sunday, I can see about changing our flight to tomorrow after I testify or Saturday morning," she started to ramble. As she did, her hands started to gesture, and finally, he reached over and stilled her hand, catching her attention.

"Sharon," he offered her a small smile, "if I recall, I asked you both to stay until Sunday. I want that. I appreciate you bringing Hannah, coming at all, all of this. I know it's not a casual visit, but still, I'm glad to see you both."

"Okay," she gave him a small nod. "I am so ready to get out of these clothes," she grimaced. Andy frowned at her.

"Sorry Hannah had her little explosion," he shook his head. "Kids have the worst timing, don't they?"

"Hmm, indeed," she glanced back at Hannah who was quiet and kicking her feet in the air slightly. "I still can't believe she did that," Sharon chuckled. "It wasn't just the leaky diaper, but the smell too," she grimaced.

"Well, not to worry," he raised a hand in defense, "I will show you straight to the shower when we get to my place. I also have my laundry room, ready for action," he winked.

"Again, if it's too much trouble, Hannah and I can stay at a hotel," she said.

"Sharon," he said a with a little sharpness in his tone, "I've told you that I want you to stay."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'll stop. I just have a lot on my mind with court tomorrow. I'm nervous, and that's not like me, not for court. I'm not even sure I can eat."

"Really? Andy raised an eyebrow and glanced at her. "That's a shame," he put his finger to his mouth. "I made a lasagna for dinner, salad, too and was hoping you might enjoy that."

"You made a lasagna? When did you have time to do that?" Sharon asked.

"Sharon," he chuckled and looked to her, "I do cook, and lasagna is easy, at least for me. I made it up last night. All I have to do is put it in the oven. Look, I figured it would be better for Hannah to be at home, to not try and go out to eat tonight. If I'm wrong, just, well, whatever you want to do."

"Dinner sounds great, Andy," she gave him a small smile.

It was over another hour later when they finally pulled into Andy's driveway. Sharon looked around and took a deep breath. Andy noticed it, "Something wrong?"

She closed her eyes a moment and shook her head, "No, it's fine. I am fine. My mind just went back to the time I came here before now."

Andy paused, his hand on the steering wheel still as he tried to remember, "Wait, you've been here? We never-" he paused trying to remember. Hannah chose that moment to start babbling away, almost a reminder she was back there in her car seat, a reminder of many, many things between Sharon and Andy. Sharon just waved at him.

"Let's just forget it," she sighed and opened her door.

"Wait," Andy paused again, suddenly, his face turning red as the memory hit him. "Sharon," he said quickly and scrambled to get out of the car. He looked at her over the top of his sedan, and she turned to him. He could almost see the pain on her face. "Sharon, that, when you came here, it was a long time ago. Listen, look, I'm not that guy."

"Andy, you don't have to explain anything to me, especially anything that took place in your own home. Let's just forget it," she said as she closed her door. "Your house is very nice," she gave him a small smile and nodded to it.

"I need you to understand," he sighed and knocked his knuckle on his car. "I think we've both done things we aren't proud of and are different people now. I remember exactly when you came here, last year, February. It was to tell me you were pregnant, right? I'm embarrassed I can't even remember her name. Charlene, no Charlotte," he closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I'm not that guy, not anymore. Look, I can imagine how that looked."

"Andy," she paused and pursed her lips, her hand on her hip as she met his gaze, "I have not been proud of all my behavior. I'm not here to judge. It was just a brief memory and nothing more. It's over. You didn't owe me anything. You are right; we are different people, and this, whatever we are trying to work through for Hannah's sake, is beyond anything I ever imagined. Truthfully, I expected you to sign and walk away, to sleep your way through L.A., if I had to be honest. I'm sure you expected me to continue to be cold-hearted and hateful. You've changed; I've changed. Let's try this again. So far, the trip has been a little rocky."

"You're right," he nodded. "I'll grab her. I'll come back for the bags. Let me show you around the place," he gave her a hopeful glance.

"Good," she gave a single nod. "I still would like to enjoy this trip."

Hannah was still babbling, and Andy quickly unbuckled her to pull her out. He kissed her head, one of his favorite things to do, and he turned to find Sharon looking around the neighborhood. He walked up toward her at the walkway. "It's an old neighborhood," he explained.

"It's nice," she nodded. "It's quaint."

"I'm trying to figure out if you actually like it or hate it," he eyed her, Hannah in his one arm as he started to unlock the door. "It's home for me, something I bought after I got sober. I've never had a baby stay here, barely my kids at all. I'm glad you agreed to staying."

He gestured for Sharon to walk in before he did. Her eyes widened as she looked around at all the detailed wood. Her eyes landed on a modernized kitchen toward the back.

"Wow, it's not what I expected," she titled her head toward him.

He shrugged, "Yeah, it's kind of a Craftsman style, and I've tried to keep some of the wood and the details inside. I had to update the kitchen, but I didn't want to go that crazy modern look. It works. I'm a simple guy, clean, and I don't have a lot of things just lying around here."

Sharon nodded again, noting he was right; the house was clean. She bit her lip noting he had a blanket on the floor, a sort of play area for Hannah in the corner, ready with a few toys. He'd put a high chair at the table, something she knew had to be new, and he had some baby food sitting on the high chair. She quickly wiped her eye, very touched at his gesture.

"It's really nice, Andy," she continued to nod. "It's better than a hotel, and I thank you."

Andy was running his hand over Hannah's head while Sharon looked around the room. He smiled at Sharon, "Glad it's okay. Let me show you the rest of the place." The two walked down the hall, coming to the first bedroom. "This is my office. I keep my baseball collection in there too." Sharon looked in the room and nodded, and the two continued to the next room. "This is the guest bath," he said, and she had to smile at the pink and white towel she saw waiting for Hannah. "The guest bedroom is next to this." Sharon was trying to keep up with him, still taking in the small bathroom. It wasn't updated, but it was clean and tidy. It wasn't terribly old either, bu the proper wording was that it wasn't modern. It fit the house. She turned to find him in the next doorway, Hannah looking around, her fingers in her mouth. "I hope it's okay that I put Hannah in here with you. Look, if that's a problem, I can put her travel crib in the office. I didn't know what you wanted."

"Oh," she paused, somewhat shocked at the statement. Truth be told, she wasn't sure what she expected, but she maybe was expecting more; she always seemed to be with him. There was a definite chemistry there, and she tried quickly to shake off her surprise and nodded to him. "It should be fine. Thank you."

"My bedroom is down at the other end of the house, beyond the kitchen," he told her. "I am in a different wing," he lightly chuckled, clearly nervous too, and she noted he started to look around, not wanting to make eye contact with her.

"Thanks," she nodded to him.

"Look, I know you want to freshen up, and I know I'm starving. Why don't I show Hannah the kitchen while we get that lasagna cooking? I'll get your bags from the car, and you can just relax."

"If you are sure she's no trouble," Sharon eyed him.

"Sharon, I've been waiting for this visit since you told me. You just take your time," he reached over and squeezed her shoulder before he started down the hall with Hannah. Sharon turned to the guest room, a cherry bed with a matching nightstand and chest of drawers, and she took a deep breath. She had so many emotions and needed to sort through the mess.

20 minutes later, Sharon walked out into the kitchen, refreshed and smiling at the sight of Andy feeding Hannah in her high chair. She was doing Sharon's favorite thing, leaning forward, and with her mouth open, waiting for food, reminded Sharon of a little bird. She was also making small nosies indicating she was hungry.

"I love her little nosies when she eats," Sharon said, walking to the table and sitting down across from Andy. She folded her arms and turned toward Hannah, who was at the head of the table, now between them.

"She's eating so much better than just when I saw her," he said and shook his head. "I still can't believe how quickly they change. She's almost finished this applesauce."

"You opened a can of worms there," Sharon chuckled. "She loves applesauce. I actually wrote that in her baby book the other day. I think it's her favorite."

"Oh yeah?" Andy grinned. "I'm, I'm, that made my day." The two looked at each other, and their eyes met. Andy wasn't sure if the groan he felt could be heard, but he was having trouble looking and Sharon and not acting on it. She really was something. He noticed she had changed and was now in an long t-shirt over some sort of leggings. He loved this look on her and was glad she felt comfortable enough to dress casually. "So, feeling better now that you have changed?" He tried to change the conversation, but he wasn't sure if changing it to her appearance was the best idea.

"Better," she nodded. "Thank you for getting my bag, our bags," she corrected herself and nodded, "feeding her, starting dinner, all of it."

"Sure," he smiled again at her, their eyes meeting. He glanced at Hannah, who was now sucking on her fingers. "Umm, glass of wine?" Andy jumped up and started to his kitchen. He looked back at Sharon and before she could speak, he said, "I know you like a glass of wine. I figured with you having to be in court and all, you might enjoy a glass of wine. I didn't know what to get, but I asked at the store, and she recommended this." Andy moved across his kitchen and took the wine back to Sharon. She shook her head slightly, shocked at his gesture.

"Ahh, thank you," she said, still shocked. "You didn't have to go to that trouble. I don't want to be a problem either, the wine, I mean."

"I've told you it's not. It's no trouble. It's nothing," he waved at her. "I'm going to get you a glass."

"Dinner smells good," she said as she smiled at Hannah and handed her another one of her little Puffs. "You really didn't have to go to this trouble."

"Well," Andy said, chewing on a cucumber from the salad he had ready to go with dinner, "it's no trouble. I'm glad for the company, really glad," he gave her another smile as he put the glass of wine down in front of her. Hannah started to fuss, and both turned to her.

"It's getting late. I really should get her a bath and ready for bed," Sharon started to stand. Andy looked at her, with a hopeful glance.

"Could I? I mean, I'd love to get her ready for bed. Dinner is still not quite ready, and maybe we can enjoy a quiet meal."

"Oh, of course," Sharon said, sitting back down at the table. "Please, its your home."

"I didn't mean it like that," he stopped and turned back to her. "I just want to help. Teamwork?" Andy offered his hand to her, and she looked at it before she finally took it and stood.

"I'll get her things if you want to start her bath," Sharon offered.

It was almost 30 minutes later when Hannah was finally in bed, and the two were ready to eat. Andy had pulled the lasagna out of the oven where it was cooling off before they ate. Sharon returned to the kitchen after finishing with Hannah and met his gaze again. She walked toward the counter and stood against it.

"She okay back there?" Andy asked.

"Hmm, she seems very comfortable. Thanks again. This is better than sitting in the dark in a hotel room, hoping she will go to sleep," she chuckled.

He nodded, "I will keep saying it, Sharon, that I'm glad you are here." He turned to her, and their eyes met. His phone rang before he said anything else. He closed his eyes. "Excuse me a moment," he held up his hand. Sharon nodded.

"I'll finish serving dinner," she told him.

Andy walked out of the kitchen and toward the front door where he'd put his phone with his keys. He knew the caller, "Everything is fine," he said as soon as he answered.

"Fine doesn't describe anything, Flynn. You could be saying that from your bed with HER next to you. That's why I'm calling. You and I discussed this, that I would call to check in all night. Now, please, for so many reasons, tell me you ARE NOT sleeping with her right now, are you?"

"I'm working on dinner. You're a good friend, but I really think it will be fine tonight. I overreacted. You won't need to call to check on me," he told Provenza.

Provenza started to laugh, "Oh, Flynn, you are an idiot. That's exactly why I'm going to keep calling like we talked about before she arrived. You and I both know it's taking every ounce of restraint NOT to sleep with her right now, how I don't understand, but it is. You said you don't want to do that, which is the best decision you've made."

"Look!" Andy exclaimed. "You have the wrong idea why I said that. I just," he ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm going to eat dinner."

"You do that and leave her alone. Just eat. No dessert, Flynn-get my drift on that? Leave her alone. That is coming from what you wanted me to remind you of all evening. Now, I'll call again later," he told Andy.

"Really, I'm okay," he nodded.

"Sure," Provenza chuckled. "You just remind yourself that as you check on your kid, that you have no interest in Raydor. That's a good one, Flynn. You're talking to a guy who married the same woman twice. I understand lust, believe me. Now, I'll talk to you later."

Andy hung up and turned back to walk to the kitchen. Sharon was there, pouring a second glass of wine. She looked up at him, "Work?"

"No case," he shook his phone at her. "Thank goodness," he gave a small smile. "Let's sit and eat. It's nice to have no distraction."


	53. Chapter 53

"Thanks again for dinner; it's delicious," Sharon said as she put a bite in her mouth. The two were almost halfway through their quiet dinner, and it had been going smoothly. The conversation had been light, a lot about work for each of them, and they seemed to have settled into a level of comfort around each other. Andy looked up, from where he was eating his salad, and he nodded to her.

"It was no trouble. I'm glad you are enjoying it," he nodded. "It's quiet, oddly quiet with Hannah asleep."

"Yes," she frowned slightly as she wiped her mouth. "I have that same thought often at night. It's wonderful to have her around, and by the time she goes to bed at night, I'm exhausted, but then, there are the quiet hours. After years and years of that, you would think it doesn't bother me. It didn't," she shook her head and frowned again as she thought. "It does now, and I'm not sure why."

Andy nodded as he looked at her and then back down at his salad, "I get that, the lonely feeling. I really do."

The two glanced at each other, and then, Sharon shook her head, "Ahh, I keep meaning to ask you about your sister. How is she? Angela," she nodded, confirming the name.

Andy looked up and put his fork down to speak. He shook his head, "She's not feeling all that great, even now. Her treatments made her feel pretty rough. They say it's different for everyone, and she really didn't seem to take them well. We're all hopeful, praying for a recovery. I just love her so much and can't stand the idea she's in pain and not feeling well. I need to go see her. Between work and everything here," he paused not sure what to say. Sharon bit her lip and gave him a sad look and nod. "I appreciate you asking. She asks about Hannah all the time."

"She does?" Sharon tilted her head, clearly surprised.

"Sure," he gave a small smile. "If anything can brighten her day when she's feeling poorly, it's an update on Hannah. I send all the pictures you send me. Ang really adores getting the pictures, so thank you for making her day. She appreciates them almost as much as I do, if that's possible," he winked.

"I had no idea," Sharon shook her head. "I knew you'd told her about Hannah, but I didn't think it was anything more than that. I knew she was a secret from the rest of your family."

Andy sighed, "Listen, I am not ashamed of Hannah or you. I don't even know what to tell them. I mean, do you have an explanation for everything right now? It's complicated, really complicated, and I'll have them come over tonight if that is what you want. I just want time to figure this out. I hope you understand. Your kids don't know who I am, and I'm okay with that. I was pleasantly surprised to meet your dad, and I guess, the way I see it, we both have a person in our family corner who knows everything, but otherwise, this," he shook his head, "is complicated."

"You're right," she nodded. "I guess I'm really happy to hear you keep your sister updated on Hannah, and even more, that Angela is happy about Hannah."

"Are you kidding?" Andy grinned. "Angela adores babies, and she was delighted when I told her you were coming here. I half expect her to show up, and she might if she felt better," he chuckled. "I promised tons of pictures."

"Well," Sharon nodded to him. "The least I can do for someone in her situation is send pictures of Hannah. I'll do better, even better with that. I know you've told me you like all the ones I've been sending."

"Sharon, she's my flesh and blood," he gave her a glance. "There could never be too many pictures. And, that lasagna," he nodded to her and continued, "Angela's modified recipe. I'll tell her you liked it."

"She seems amazing," Sharon told him.

"I only have time for amazing women," he eyed her. Both felt like the air changed with that comment. They glanced at each other and then back to their meals. Andy's phone rang again, and he sighed. Sharon finally looked up at that sound.

"Provenza," he said and stood. "I'll be back."

"Hopefully, it's not a case," she gave him a small smile.

"Someone might be dead before the night is out; that's the truth," he grumbled as he stepped away.

"What? I'm eating dinner!" Andy barked into the phone.

"Is that code for anything else?" Provenza asked. "Where are you right now?"

"I'm up from my kitchen table and just stepped outside on my front porch," Andy explained.

"Oh, well, I'd say cool off there, your hormones I mean, but it's not exactly cool outside tonight. You aren't half-dressed, are you?" Provenza asked.

"No! I told you I'm eating dinner. We're having lasagna," Andy explained. "I appreciate the call, but it's fine. It won't be an issue tonight."

"Mood?" Provenza asked. "Music, wine, hands touching-spell it out, Flynn, or I'm coming over there. Look, you told me to play keep away for you, and that's what this call is. It's your intervention, so spill it. What's the mood?"

"The mood is I'm irritated. That's my mood. With her, it's fine. We're just talking about basic things," he said.

"Wine? Not you, but her, because I know she drinks it," Provenza pointed out.

"Yeah, I got her wine," he sighed, running his hand over his face.

"One glass or two, Flynn?" Provenza asked. "If it's more than that, I'm on my way because I know what will happen."

"Two, okay? She's fine. I'm fine, and I'm going to clean up dinner and go to bed. I'm beat, and I know she is too," he said. "Now, thanks for being a good friend, but I've got this. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"It's not that late, and I know how things can change. I'll text you later. If you don't answer, I'll call, and if you don't answer, I'll drive over there. Don't make me do that, Flynn," he warned Andy.

"Okay," Andy chuckled. "I'll reply. Night, Provenza."

Andy walked back into the house and found Sharon loading the dishwasher. He walked to her, quickly, and he waved his hands at her. He frowned, "Hey, I've got this. No need for you to do that."

"I can clean up," she told him. "You did the cooking. I can clear the table."

"You're a guest," he stilled her hand and met her gaze. The two were close together, close enough he could kiss her if he wanted, but he quickly looked away to the table. "I'll finish. I know you've had a long day. I have too. I think I'll finish here and go to bed. It's getting late."

"Oh," Sharon tried to hide her surprise. Andy gave her an odd look, but she shook her head. "You know, I should get some sleep before court tomorrow. I'll just turn in myself." She looked at him, her eyes dancing, "Thanks again for everything. Sleep well," she said as her arm squeezed his. She walked by him and started to the bedroom.

"Sharon," he called to her. She turned around, and he couldn't place the expression on her face, "Sleep well," he gave her a small smile. "There are towels and all out for you. If you need anything, help yourself."

"Night," she said quickly and turned again. He leaned back against his counter and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long night, and he wasn't sure how much sleep he would get with Sharon just down the hall, but he was determined to try.

Hours later, Andy woke from his sleep, surprised he'd fallen asleep at all. He'd tried for a long time to sleep, but he had too much on his mind. He wasn't sure what time he fell asleep, but he was awake again, and it was 4:15. He could see a light on in the kitchen from his door, which was slightly ajar. He decided to check on everything and make sure Hannah wasn't having trouble sleeping. The house was quiet, but still, he'd turned off the light when he'd gone to bed.

"Couldn't sleep?" he pursed his lips as he walked toward the kitchen table, dressed in his boxes and a t-shirt where just a few hours ago, he and Sharon had enjoyed a rather pleasant dinner. Thankfully, Provenza had stopped with his check-ups after the last text, around 11:00, which Andy had answered from his room and promised he was alone, but now, he wondered what had Sharon awake. He walked to the table and glanced down at her files, spread around the table. He eyed her, and when he met her gaze, he pulled out the chair to sit down at the table. It was a rectangular table, and she was sitting on the one side. He sat down at the head of the table, close to his room. She was sitting to his right.

She looked up at him, and he had to tell himself not to stare, not to groan, but man, it was hard. She was in her robe, her hair piled on her head, with her glasses on as she studied a pile of documents. He wanted to stare at the robe, a black one with a few red roses on it, and from what he could tell, she had on a matching nightgown or whatever she called it underneath. He looked at it, but then, he quickly looked up at her for an explanation.

"No," she frowned and looked back at the table. "I wanted to prep for court. I didn't want to wake Hannah back there, but I'm so sorry if I disturbed you. I just haven't slept all night. I'm not going to be very productive in court with no sleep, but it is what it is."

Andy, now sitting there, glanced at all her paperwork. He frowned and reached to the center of the table, where he had a spare pair of his own reading glasses. He hated wearing them at work, even if he really needed to do that, but he kept a couple pairs on hand at home when reading the paper or anything else. He put them on and glanced at what she was doing.

"This looks very technical," he said as he just looked around at her piles.

"It is, and I have to say, I'm not sure I've seen you much in glasses, have I?" she asked, almost hiding a smile. He pulled them off, and she put her hand on his arm, "I didn't say they looked bad on you. It's just a different look. I mean," she gestured to herself, "I have worn my glasses most of my life."

"Great," he slightly chuckled, "so, if Hannah has bad eyes, it's your fault. My glasses are the result of getting older."

She slightly rolled her eyes, and she finally just sat back, crossing her arms. He glanced at her, and he had to look away again, his attention drawn to her robe and pajamas under it. He looked up and found her looking at him.

"So, why can't you sleep?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

"I just have a lot on my mind," she said as she started to gather up her paperwork. "I suppose I'm done here. I know the details of this in my sleep, which is ironic because I can't sleep," she sighed. "I think I'll try to sleep a little before Hannah gets up for the morning."

"You know," he told her and continued, "I would have put Hannah in my room, still will, if that will help you."

"It's not that," she shook her head. She looked at Andy, "She's sleeping just fine. I need to try and do the same."

"If you need to talk, I'll listen," he told her.

"You know what," she said as she paused. She had finished stacking her paperwork and turned back to him, crossing her arms as she did. That only created more of a distraction for Andy as he tried not to stare at her. "I do have something on my mind and maybe you can help with it."

"Okay, sure," Andy nodded. He sat back in his chair, trying to get comfortable. "I'll be glad to listen."

"It's not as much listening, but I want to ask you about something, and I'm not sure how to start," she said. Her eyes met his, and they looked at each other while the silence settled on them. Finally, she just blurted out at him, "Do you not find me enough anymore? Is it, are you," she shook her head and continued, "do I no longer turn you on? Andy," she let out a very long, frustrated sigh, "our arrangement was good, was working," she made a face as she tried to explain. "I thought after my mother's funeral, after we slept together again, that you and I were back on the same page with all that, that maybe we could continue our arrangement. I was so frustrated when you came to Flagstaff this last trip, and then, tonight, I thought that staying here, we'd have that time to be, to be," she looked to the ceiling, "to help each other relax, to-" she closed her eyes.

"You thought you'd have your way with me on this trip," he stated, in a nod as he listened to her. "You thought that would just continue, that after your mom died, it was nothing more than a stress reliever, an arrangement as you said. Well," he waited for her to look at him. It took a few moments before she looked at him, but she finally did, "I've told you I'm too invested now. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say it for you to believe it or understand it, but I am. I'm invested, Sharon. I've told you that doesn't just mean the money. I care too much. Sharon, I can't be that guy, the jerk, the guy who just shows up to," he paused and thought a moment, "I need to say this in a better way because I was just about to sound crude, so I can't be the guy who shows up to see my kid and spend a couple hours each visit sleeping with my kid's mom. I don't want that, I mean, I do, but I can't do that. Are you seriously asking about you? You are so hot, so hot," he shook his head. "You have no idea the amount of restraint I'm trying to show. Provenza, he's called me over and over tonight just to keep me on track and make sure I wasn't taking you to bed." Sharon's eyes rose in surprise, and Andy nodded. "Oh, it's true. I can barely keep my hands to myself. I want you so much; you have no idea. What started as a good time, a time to cure boredom and enjoy a horrible work mess, turned into way more for me, and I don't just mean Hannah. I can't do halfway here. I can't be a jerk. I can't sleep around with you every other weekend or whatever we might discuss for seeing Hannah. I can't tell Hannah when she's 10, 'Hey, kiddo, give me an hour with your mom. We need to go mess around, okay?' because that's horrible. It's awful to you and to her. I'm struggling with everything, and you, Sharon, are smack in the middle of it. Attraction is not the problem; actually," he sighed and continued, "it's all of the problem. I just don't know how to fix it. You don't trust me. I don't know if and when you ever will, and that's not even what I'm completely talking about here. Trust doesn't equal a roll in the hay. It's a step, but I just don't know. I respect you too much to use you, and that's what it feels like anymore with me. I care too much for things to just be a roll in the sack," he shook his head and sighed.

The table was silent, and Andy finally gestured with his hand, "Bottom line-I can't be the dirt bag sleeping with my kid's mom every chance I get just to have some fun. I'm in deeper than that, and it's only messing with you, which isn't good because you don't trust me and see me only as your toy."

Her eyes widened at that, and she shook her head, wiping a tear as she did so.

"The stakes are too high, Sharon. You're one of the smartest people I've ever met. You know that, even if you don't want to admit it now. It was different when we started all of this. It was like an arrangement, an agreement, almost like a contract. It was the typical, 'Wham, bam' junk, and you know it. It's changed; it's been changing. This last time, in Phoenix," he sighed and shook his head again, "I felt it, that it was different. It was different, and I think it was for you too. It wasn't just the grief, but it was different. You and I connected like we haven't before. You have to admit it felt different. There was more there."

Sharon put her elbows on the table and ran her hands through her hair. Andy heard her take a deep breath, and then, she looked over at him. She shifted, and again, he had to take his focus off her clothing and keep his attention on her. "I'm not denying something is different," she finally said. "I just don't know what it is. I've been trying to figure it out, and I've been so stuck in my head, thinking that you were finally seeing how unattractive I feel, that the difference was you weren't interested in me because of my appearance. I made it all about me. I am seeing you differently than I was, and what I think I am starting to realize is that my thoughts are muddled. I see you in a different light with Hannah. I have been seeing that change for quite some time, and my problem is finding the balance. I am trying to sort through my feelings about you with Hannah and about you with me. I felt like you only saw me now as Hannah's mother, the woman who carried three babies, and that now, you aren't interested."

Andy raised an eyebrow at her, as her fingers played with the edge of the folder in front of her, a nervous habit. Andy opened his mouth to speak, but before he did, he paused, trying to find the right words, "I am more attracted to you because you are Hannah's mother, if that's possible. You carried our daughter. You have no idea. I see the whole woman, Sharon. The Andy of a cheap fling is gone; I'm not that guy now. This is all such a mess. You have to see, have to admit, we can't continue this without some clarity."

She looked away, but she nodded at him. Finally, she put her hands on the table and stood, looking at Andy.

"Thank you for telling me. I just want to be desired, I suppose, and I could feel like that for brief moments when we were together. I haven't felt like any man has wanted me for a long time, and I even question if Jack ever really did. Now, I hate how I look and felt like those times with you, it didn't matter. The focus was not on just an appearance. I just needed a release, freedom, something," she shook her head. "That sounds like someone who can't be alone, but I can. I just," she shook her head. "I can't trust." She nodded as she said it. "I've spent a long time alone, with people breaking that trust. This was all just supposed to be simple," she waved her hand. "It was supposed to be safe, easy," she shook her head. "Somewhere along the way, it stopped being simple and easy until I thought it could be again. I wanted to get back to that, was hoping we could get back to that, and I thought after Phoenix, we were there. I thought we could just use these trips for that. I'm sorry. Yes, life is short. That hit me in the face when I lost my mom, and I just wanted to," she paused, trying to find her wording. "I'm not sure what I wanted, what I want anymore. I don't know what to say; I'm sorting through so much. In the last year, I've had an unexpected pregnancy change my life, have moved, have adjusted to a new job, have been raising a baby on my own, and now, I've lost my mother. It's just a lot. I think I will go back to bed and rest until Hannah gets up."

Andy reached over and put his hand on hers as she was about to pull it from the table. She looked at his hand and then at him as he stood. He gave her a slight shake of his head, but he didn't take his hand off of hers. He stepped toward her, "Do not doubt the desire I have for you. It's that and so much more. I can't make you trust me, but I hope you can and will. This isn't all just about Hannah. It's not some way to keep Hannah close to me through you. I care about you deeply, Sharon, more than I ever imagined, and I'm going to keep telling you that until you believe it. I think, deep down, you have some of the same feelings, but nothing is going to change overnight. She looked down and away from him. He squeezed her hand and put his other hand on her face, looking at her. When she looked at him, he leaned in slowly until his lips were on hers. She stepped toward him, and the two stood there in a long, lazy kiss, while the silence filled the house. He heard her whimper slightly and then pulled back from her just enough to look at her. "That is to let you know how much I feel for you. I hope that kiss conveyed just a small amount of what I feel. I've put it out there for you, and I need to just leave you with that. The desire is there. If I was my old, idiotic self, I'd carry you into my bedroom and not come out for days. Then, I'd walk out, a huge grin on my face and not look back. We both tried that, over and over and over. Somewhere along the way, things changed for me, and I think if you are honest, for you too. You need to figure out what you want, and if it's a guy in your bed on occasion, as you demand, I can't be that guy, not anymore. If I'm being honest here, I want more. I want you in my bed, in my life, you and Hannah, but it can't be for a couple hours during a visit. It just can't. If you need a guy you can kick out of your bed at a moment's notice, I'm no longer available, and I really think if you are honest, that's not what you want, not anymore, not from me.

Sharon's eyes scanned his, trying to find the words to say anything back to him. Finally, she cleared her throat, "Thank you for being honest with me," she said, her eyes trying to read his. She gave a slight shake of her head, "I just don't know anymore. I don't know."

He looked down slightly and nodded before he stepped away from her, his hand still on hers there on the table, intertwined with hers. He squeezed it, "Life is short, Sharon. You know that, but I can't force something that isn't there."

She gave a nod, "I think I should get ready for the day," she cleared her throat again. "I have a lot on my mind, and I need to do what I came here to do. It's still early; try to get some rest," she gave him a half smile and then pulled her hand from his. She collected her paperwork and started down the hall. Andy put his hand on the chair to support himself as he sighed. He'd done what he needed to do on her trip. He'd put it out there for her again. Somehow, he was having to do this over and over, almost as if Sharon didn't believe his intentions. He'd keep telling her if she didn't believe it. Oh, it was hard to see her walk away. He wasn't lying in that all he wanted to do was take her to bed, but that wasn't good for the situation right now. Sure, it would fulfill an instant want and need, but ultimately, he wanted and needed Sharon and Hannah in his life for good.


	54. Chapter 54

Andy was worn out; it had been a long day, and it didn't help that with the time, Hannah would already be asleep for the night. He hated that, not seeing her, especially when she was in town, in his house, for a few days. Sure, he'd spent the morning with her, and he'd loved every minute of it. After preparing for a short walk around the neighborhood that really looked like he was going to take her out for days, he and Hannah had enjoyed their quiet walk. He'd packed snacks, enough for days, for her to enjoy, and she'd been rather quiet on their walk, almost as if she'd enjoyed it too. He'd put her down for a nap, and while normally, he would want her to get a good, long nap, he was happy when she slept for not quite an hour; it gave him more time with her before he did have to go in for work. His little girl was too young to know what was going on, but it was almost like she wanted more time with him too. He'd fed her and played with her, happy to see that she was trying to pull herself up on things. She wasn't there yet, but she was trying, and he was wondering if she was going to skip crawling-in the regular fashion-and go to walking. Hannah was amazing, and he sometimes had to just stare at her, shocked that he'd help create such a wonderful little girl.

So, as Andy pulled into his driveway after a long afternoon of training, he sighed at the relatively dark house. Yes, Hannah was in bed. The light from the guest room was out, and he could tell just a faint light, most likely from the living room was on. He'd sent Sharon a text message on his drive home, but he hadn't heard back from her, sure she was busy with Hannah's bedtime routine. The two hadn't had much time to talk since their middle of the night discussion, but Andy felt like a weight had been lifted from him. He'd told Sharon what he felt, and the ball was in her court so to speak. She'd left early for court, as he would have expected, and their lunchtime exchange had been fast too, as she had been stuck in some traffic trying to get back to the house. He didn't know what the evening would entail, but he had a feeling she wouldn't be ready to talk, mainly because he knew she was still trying to figure out her own feelings.

With food in hand, Andy walked wearily to his front door and unlocked it. He opened it and had to smile. In all his years, all his thoughts, he never ever would have imagined finding Sharon Raydor, of all people, curled up, asleep on his couch. She looked rather peaceful, and as he thought about it, this was probably the one time she wasn't trying to figure out anyone's motives, when she was sleeping. The table lamp was on next to her, and she had a book open, sitting on her chest. He closed the door, quietly, hoping he didn't bother her sleep.

Andy walked to his kitchen, still chuckling that Sharon was sleeping so peacefully on the couch. From what he could tell, she had been reading and fell asleep. He was glad to see she felt comfortable enough to use the blanket he kept on the back of his recliner. Andy put down the food and walked down the hall to check on Hannah. It was now almost 8:30. He hated getting home this late, but at least he had food with him. That had been in his text to Sharon, and now, he could see she probably hadn't even seen it, especially if she had fallen asleep shortly after putting Hannah to bed. He smiled when he spotted Hannah, sprawled out in her travel crib on her side, almost pushed up against the side of it, her legs in an odd position. He tilted his head to get a good look at her and grinned when he noticed she was sucking on her thumb. He hadn't seen her do that before and wondered if it was normal. She didn't have it all the way in her mouth, just the tip of it. He ran his hand lightly over her head, careful not to wake her. Her full head of dark hair was so soft, and as much as he wanted to sit and watch her sleep, he had hot food waiting and was starving.

As Andy walked back to the kitchen, he pulled his phone to put it on silence. He'd told Provenza not to call tonight, but he never knew what to expect from his best friend. During the day, Andy had explained to Provenza that he'd put his cards on the table regarding Sharon, and with that, he didn't expect any issues. Yes, he wanted her; that was obvious, but he was handling the situation okay right now. He'd told her his feelings, and she wouldn't be ready to process anything just yet. He was fine with that. Andy took another look at Sharon sleeping as he walked back into the kitchen. He shook his head; she looked so beautiful sleeping, so full of love and life, and he hated she had been burned so badly in her adult life.

He looked at the food and decided to take it outside on his back porch to eat. He had a feeling the rustling of the bags would wake Sharon, and he didn't want that. She hadn't been sleeping well, and he was glad she'd fallen asleep on his couch. As he opened his sliding door to the yard, he looked back at Sharon, content she was still sleeping.

Andy let out a long sigh as he sat down and then groaned when he realized he had not gotten anything to drink. He really wanted something to drink with his dinner and had been thinking about a glass of cranberry juice most of the drive home. He didn't want to go back inside with her sleeping, but he was extremely thirsty. He had thoughts of using the garden hose, but then, he chuckled at that, the sight of him drinking from the garden hose because he was that desperate for anything. He didn't have anything in his car either. For now, he'd sacrifice his thirst. He'd eat and then get something to drink when he was done. It was a lovely evening; summer was in the air. There was still a bit of a coolness to the air, but it wasn't bad. He enjoyed rare evenings like this, times to eat outside and enjoy the stillness of the evening. He pulled out the Chinese food, aware he'd bought way too much, but as he was ordering the food, he realized he didn't know what Sharon liked to eat. He'd been realizing that a lot about her, that he really didn't know much about this woman, the woman he now cared about deeply, the mother of his young daughter, the woman he wanted in his life. He knew very little, and so, he'd ordered several different things on the menu. Quite frankly, his food order looked like he was going to feed a baseball team. There was enough Chinese food for days, but that was okay. He would eat it, most of it. He'd find out what Sharon enjoyed so that next time, because he knew there would be a next time and a time after that and a time after that, he would know her order.

He spent the next 15 minutes just enjoying his dinner, glad to unwind after his long day. He really couldn't stand Taylor and Pope. Both had been in his afternoon training, and both had gotten on his very last nerve. It was a good thing it was the weekend. He needed a break from the two, and what had gotten him through the day was the thought of Hannah and Sharon waiting for him at home. He was looking forward to a nice weekend with them, even if their situation was a bit odd.

He turned his head when he heard the sliding glass door open, and he smiled softly at Sharon as she stepped outside, "Hi, I didn't want to wake you." He looked at her, dressed in casual clothing with a long open sweater over her outfit. She gave him a small smile.

She nodded as she ran her hand through her hair and also shut the door before going to sit down across from him at the small patio table. He moved the food bags, knowing they had taken over most of the table, and he looked at her as she started to speak, "Sorry I fell asleep. I was reading, and that's about all I remember," she rolled her eyes slightly. "I don't remember much of what I read, so that was a waste. When did you get home?"

"Ahh, about 20 minutes ago," he told her. "Things ran late at work. Taylor couldn't shut his trap, and Pope wasn't much better. Traffic was a beast, and then, I stopped for food," he nodded to the bags. "I tried to text you about dinner, but I guess you were sleeping."

"Sorry," she shook her head at him.

"No, no," he raised his hands in surrender, "no apologies. Seeing you curled up on my couch was actually really great. It was a nice sight to see. Did you get some sleep, I hope?"

"A little," she nodded. "Court went well this morning, but I was just worn out from so much, just too much on my mind," she sighed and dropped her head to look at her hands. Andy frowned slightly.

"Hey, no need to explain or talk tonight. This is a safe zone," he chuckled lightly. "I have come with food, so please eat. I really just wanted to come home and spend a nice evening with you if you want to eat with me."

Sharon gave him a somewhat playful glance as she eyed the food bags and then looked at him. She gestured with her hand, "Is that Chinese?"

"No, it's pizza," he rolled his eyes at her before he shook his head. "Of course, it's Chinese. I can't imagine that's a problem."

"I love Chinese," she nodded with a small smile. "I haven't had it for quite some time."

"Great, see I didn't know that, I mean, about you loving Chinese food. I didn't know what you liked, so I bought a few things," he explained, handing her one of the bags.

"A few?" she chuckled. "There are what, six or seven different cartons here, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "a few."

"Andy, that's more than a few," she laughed, and then, her eyes met his. "Thank you. This looks great."

"No problem," he nodded at her. "I'm surprised, honestly, that you are this excited about take-out Chinese food. I had a long day, and this was easy. You deserve better than that."

She paused in her search of the food and looked at him, "I don't deserve anything. I appreciate you getting dinner. I honestly hadn't thought about dinner with taking care of Hannah. I had a cup of tea when I fed her, and that held me. By the way," she looked at him over the rim of her glasses, "You have a lot of tea."

He shrugged, "All things I'm realizing I don't know about you, or I don't know enough," he explained. "Why don't I get you a plate, and we can just eat and have a light conversation? I'm so thirsty," he chuckled. "I didn't want to wake you, so I've been out here desperate for something to drink."

"I'm so sorry," she shook her head. "I took over your house."

"Not at all, Sharon," he said to her as he stood. "It was one of the nicest things I've seen in a long time, walking in and finding both you and Hannah asleep. It wasn't a problem at all," he said and turned to go back into the house. He left Sharon there to sit in silence for a moment and returned with a plate for her, cranberry juice for himself, and a glass of water for Sharon. "I didn't know if you wanted anything else to drink."

"Ahh, no water is good," she looked up at him as he put it down for her. "Thank you. I prefer water with dinner, sometimes wine with a glass of water, but water."

"Ahh, good to know," he said as he sat. "So, did you find anything in those bags you enjoy eating?"

"Yes," she nodded. "There are several things I like. I'm a fan of many of the same things you have on your plate. I don't particularly like noodles; I prefer rice. I don't like extremely spicy things, but most anything with chicken of beef is good. I have a weak spot for crab rangoons. I don't know why," she gave a slight roll of her eyes. "You even got those."

"Well, we might have a fight, then, Raydor," he gave her a look. "That's one of my favorites, and I hardly eat anything fried like that."

"Eating together, then, might not be the best idea," she said in a slightly teasing tone. Andy liked that she was almost teasing him. Her mood was decent, good, in fact, and he had seen this side of her on just a few rare occasions. It was like he knew this side existed, but he hadn't seen much of it. He liked it and whatever brought it on with her tonight. He just winked at her.

"I'll take my chances," he smiled.

Dinner continued with light conversation. Sharon asked about his day and then about the team. He told her what was going on with each person, how some of the same people continued to irritate him day after day. She listened and offered her own stories about a few of those same irritating people. As they finished dinner, he glanced at his watch, shocked at the time.

"We've been out here over an hour. It's now 9:50. I don't know where the time went."

"That's the problem with Chinese food," she nodded. "You just keep eating and eating, and after awhile, you've eaten everything. We made a huge dent in this food," she said as she eyed the table.

"I'm glad. I'm glad you were hungry. I know I was. It's been a long few days, a long few months, really," he looked to her. "I'm happy you got some rest because I made plans for tomorrow."

Her eyes widened, "You made plans? For all of us? Oh, wait, are you doing something?"

"Sharon," he gave her a half frown before he continued, "do you really think I'd beg you to visit with Hannah only to make my own plans for Saturday? Of course, I made plans for the three of us. I would like to do something fun. I thought we could go to the beach, nothing major, but even just a nice walk or something. I'd like to take Hannah. She hasn't really been to the beach, has she?"

"The beach?" she asked, gesturing with her hand. "You want to go to the beach?"

"I mean, yeah," he shrugged. "It is California, sunny L.A., as you know. We do have an ocean right here. I'd like to go. I don't even care what beach-more secluded or a busy, touristy one-whatever. We can stay local or go for a drive. I don't care, but I think it would be fun. The weather is supposed to be nice, and then, I planned for us to go to dinner."

"Dinner?" she asked, her eyes wide again.

"Yeah, Sharon, that meal after lunch. Hannah's a big fan of dinner, and I thought we could go out to eat, somewhere in public, with Hannah."

"We don't have to do that," she shook her head.

"Look, I'd like to do this. We've barely gone anywhere or done anything, well," he rolled his eyes and continued, "aside from checking out hotel rooms in different locations. For once, I'd like to go out with you and Hannah."

"Andy, I can't-I just don't know if I-" she paused.

"You're leaving on Mother's Day. Let's address that, shall we? I'm well aware Sunday is Mother's Day. You are too, and we're going to address that. You are a mother, not my mother, which would be really twisted, but you are the mother to three kids, one of them mine. I don't care what a piece of paper says or what you think I am or maybe what I'm not. You're Hannah's mother, and I'm speaking for her only right now. I'd like to take you to dinner, Hannah too," he added and continued, "for Mother's Day. Now, I would have done the traditional brunch or something, but let's also address that you coincidently booked your flight back to Phoenix for 11:00 A.M. Sharon, on a Sunday, on Mother's Day, a flight that would have many options to PHOENIX. So, yeah, I've figured out your plans to dodge Mother's Day, so I'm making tomorrow Mother's Day. Hannah can't tell time; she doesn't know her days of the week yet, so she's good with it being tomorrow. Now, you aren't going to tell that beautiful little girl she can't celebrate her mom tomorrow, are you?"

Sharon let out a long sigh as she sat back in her chair. Andy watched her cross her arms and look at him and he looked right back at her. Finally, she let out a low scowl and sat back up in her chair, "You know, being a detective isn't always a good thing."

Andy tried to hide his smile. She'd all but admitted he was right about calling her out on everything. He sat forward, "You play with the best," he winked, "and that's what you get."

She stood, closing the bag of food as she gathered her plate and then his. She looked at him, still sitting there, almost smirking at her, and before she stepped away she said, "What I got from 'playing' as you are calling it, is an eight and a half month old in there who looks more and more like you every single day. I can't even get you out of my mind when I want to do just that." She opened the door and stepped inside, leaving him sitting there, thinking about what she'd said. He put his finger to his mouth; she was in a much better mood, yes. She was still dodging quite a bit, but he felt like they'd cleared the air. He stood and called to her as he opened the door.

"You really think she looks like me?" he grinned as he stepped inside.

Sharon was quiet inside as she cleaned off the dishes. Andy pulled out some of his storage containers for the leftovers, and he started to put things away while she worked. He preferred his own containers to the cartons from the restaurant. He hadn't expected her to answer him about Hannah; he still didn't see it. He saw Sharon when he looked at Hannah, but if she was reminded of him each time she looked at Hannah, he was okay with that and was not going to argue. The two worked quietly next to each other for the next few minutes. Finally, Sharon turned off the sink, and as she was drying her hands, she cleared her throat, "Why did you first sleep with me?"

Andy, who was still working on the leftovers and not looking at Sharon, raised his eyebrows at the question. He often wondered what was going on inside her head, and tonight, he didn't know what she was processing, but he hadn't expected that question. He said exactly what came to mind, "You asked-because you asked."

He heard her sigh and finally looked toward her. She turned toward him and rested her back against the counter to look over and speak to him. She was next to him now, looking across the kitchen, while he was still facing the same counter. "That's not a complete answer," she frowned slightly at him. He paused and met her gaze, deciding that if she wanted to talk, he was going to participate. "I mean, yes, I'm aware I ASKED, the first time, most every time," she pursed her lips and shook her head. "Why?"

"You asked," he said again and shrugged. "You did."

"Yes, but surely, that isn't your only answer. I mean, what made you agree that night?"

"Honestly, you asked. I didn't have a better idea or plan. We were both lonely. We were on that stupid work trip. You were pretty hot, too, still are," he gave a small shrug as he looked down at the containers. "As you have said, it seemed like a simple, no-strings attached situation. I've been in plenty of those over the years. After the first time, I just wanted more, Sharon, more of that. It was good, better than good. It filled a void, a need, I hadn't filled in a long time. What, you want me to tell you I did it to annoy you or Provenza?" he shrugged. "I did it for me, for what I wanted. But, the real answer, to start, was that you asked."

"Other women, though," she gestured with her hand and swallowed, as she was nervous, "I'm sure have asked. I know there have been others. I'm just wondering what was different, what is different. Women have to have asked. Do you agree each time?"

"They have," he nodded. "I've slept with others. You know that. I've told you, but it's different now, and no, it's not every woman."

She narrowed her gaze, trying to figure out what he was saying, "You would turn down a woman?"

"Have and will from now on," he nodded. "I mean, it's not like they are beating down my door," he chuckled. "I'm not looking for women." She eyed him again, and before she could say anything, he said, "I don't need that from random women."

"So, let me get this straight," she turned slightly to him. Her eyes met his, and she continued, "If a woman walked up to you and said, 'Andy, are you interested in going home with me?' you would turn her down?" As she asked him that, her eyes stayed locked on his, and her hand moved to his shirt, where she fiddled with the button on it. He continued to look at her, his eyes on hers.

He put his hand over hers and laced his fingers in hers, "I'm saying," he said quietly as he leaned toward her before he spoke quietly again, "if a random woman asked me that right now, I'd turn down the offer, yes. I had a different answer, what a year and a half ago, even I'll admit a year ago. My answer now would be no and will continue to be no-for random women, I mean," he added. I've realized that-at least to me-that's something pretty special I don't just want with anyone anymore." The tension was there; the two were within inches of each other, and neither knew what to do or say. Andy broke the silence, "Of course, many would say I was an idiot if I turned down some random woman like that, but I've been called an idiot before; in fact, I've been called an idiot for not turning down a woman. I can't win, so maybe, I'll just continue to turn away those women, random ones, I mean."

Sharon broke their eye contact and looked down at the floor. When she looked back up at him, their eyes met, and they started to kiss, his hands moving to her waist and her hands moving around his neck. The two stood there, in a rather heated kiss for a few moments, before they broke away, each one grasping for air. Andy let out a long sigh and looked down at the floor. Sharon looked away too, their heads still almost touching.

"I need to get some sleep," he said quietly. "You should too. I know your nap doesn't make up for months of no sleep. We are going out tomorrow," he said, moving his head back to meet her gaze. The two started to kiss again, almost moving like magnets toward each other. Sharon gripped his arms, and his hands found her waist again as he ran his hands along the hem of her shirt. This time, it wasn't as heated, but it was full of passion. Andy finally pulled away from her, and he could hear Sharon trying to catch her breath again.

"Get some sleep, Sharon. To answer your question or whatever we were discussing just now, I'm not worried about turning away the random ones. I can and will turn them away from now on, but my biggest struggle right now is turning down the right one because I have to right now."

With that, he looked into her eyes, leaned toward her, kissed her cheek while he squeezed her arm, and he turned to walk to his room. "Be ready for an adventure tomorrow," he called out as he stepped out of her sight.


	55. Chapter 55

It looked like a Saturday morning from a television show, almost too good to be true. Andy couldn't remember a time when he'd felt this level of normalcy. He was awake, Sharon was awake, Hannah was awake, and they were all co-existing in his home on this early morning. He was lying on the floor, playing with Hannah, now who had been up for an hour and a half already while Sharon had volunteered to make some breakfast. That had been a nice gesture in his eyes, and it gave him a rare opportunity to play with his daughter. He was loving every minute of it and sure that it was a dream. It wasn't though; it was just a once in a lifetime Saturday morning for him, a time where he could relax and spend the day with Hannah and Sharon. It felt normal, perfect to him, really, and he was really looking forward to the rest of the day.

The three had all been up for almost the same amount of time. Andy woke up early, just after 6:00, and he debated on getting up or trying to get more sleep. Knowing Hannah had been getting up about this time each day, he decided to go ahead and get up. He started the coffee and stepped outside on his back porch to see how the day was shaping up. It felt like it was going to be a nice one; the birds were chirping already, and the air felt light and warm. He managed to have a cup of coffee before Hannah started to cry, and as much as he wanted to give Sharon her privacy, he also wanted to help with Hannah. So, at her first noise, he walked down the hall to grab her. He didn't knock, and he didn't feel badly about that. He walked in, grabbed Hannah, and he tried to quiet her as he turned to leave.

"I can get up and take care of her," Sharon said, her voice still groggy as she sat up on the other side of the bed from the door.

"I've got her," he said. "Get some rest if you can."

It didn't surprise him, when not even 15 minutes later, Sharon came down the hall. Andy was sitting on the couch with Hannah, helping her with her bottle. She could now hold it most of the time, but she would drop it after she started to move around, so it was necessary to still sit with her. He didn't mind, not at all. He looked up when Sharon walked into sight, the sight of her bringing a smile to his face. She had on a simple black shirt that coordinated with her printed pajama pants. Her hair was brushed and partly held up in a clip. She crossed her arms, not in a defensive or angered state, but just as something to do, when she turned toward Andy.

"Morning," he nodded to her and held up his free hand which held the cup of coffee he'd been sipping on while Hannah had her bottle. "Since you decided to join us and not take advantage of your quiet time back there, I have coffee on in the kitchen."

"Morning," she nodded as she listened to him. "She doing okay?"

"Oh, she's great," Andy said. Hannah started to sit up at the sound of Sharon's voice. Andy noticed and shifted her, so she could see Sharon. "Mom's up, kiddo." He looked back at Sharon, "We're doing just fine. I changed her diaper, got her bottle ready, and we're chilling with the morning news."

Sharon glanced around, "I didn't even hear you grab her diaper."

"Resourceful," he winked and nodded toward the door where she saw Hannah's diaper bag sitting on the floor. "I knew she had everything out here. See, I'm not an idiot with her."

"I never said that," she pursed her lips.

"Coffee is ready, Sharon. Grab a cup, grab a seat, and just relax. It's Saturday," he said, ignoring any other comments from her. She looked at the two of them sitting there, Andy relaxed with Hannah in his lap and Hannah, with her small, little chubby hands trying to hold onto her bottle. She was also trying to look at Sharon and dropped her bottle doing so. She instantly started to fuss, and Andy reached for the bottle to give it back to her. Hannah continued to fuss and swatted away at the bottle, even though she didn't realize she was making the situation worse. Andy caught Sharon's gaze and rolled his eyes. Finally, Hannah realized the bottle was right there and allowed Andy to give it back to her. Andy just shook his head.

Sharon pursed her lips, "I see that she's going to want to do things her own way."

"You think?" Andy chuckled. "No idea where she'd get that idea."

"I'll ignore that and get some coffee," she said, turning to the kitchen.

Since then, they had not done much more. They'd both had a couple cups of coffee, Hannah had been fed, and by the time that was all done, Andy looked to Sharon.

"Hungry? I'll make some breakfast. She smells a little ripe," he chuckled. "Let me take care of her first," he said as he lifted her from her high chair.

"I'll cook," she stood quickly, moving to the kitchen, as if almost she wasn't going to argue about it. "If you want to clean up Hannah and get her dressed, I can cook."

"You sure? I don't mind doing both things," he said.

"It's not a problem," she gave him a small shrug.

So, Andy had cleaned up Hannah and had her dressed for the day in a sweet little one-piece romper with purple and white stripes. The clothing would cover her legs when out in the sun, but it was light enough she shouldn't get hot. He ran his hand over her head, smiling at her and her dark hair. He loved her full head of hair, and she looked at him. It was amazing to him she was sitting there just looking back at him. She made a face, and Andy returned it with a silly one. She started to giggle and stuck the block up at her mouth as she played with it. When she did that, she started drooling, and he just chuckled at her. She was drooling a lot now, and he'd forgotten to get a bib for her to wear. He groaned as he stood up in search of one.

"I don't need help," she said to him as he walked into the kitchen.

He raised his eyes at her and shook his head as he picked up the bib on the counter, "Just getting her bib."

"Oh," Sharon said, a spatula in hand as she stood at the stove. "Breakfast will be ready soon."

"French toast, huh?" he smiled. "Sounds great."

A knock at the door had them both look to it. Andy looked beyond Hannah, there on the floor as she was still putting the blocks up to her face. He looked back at Sharon who had a worried expression.

"Oh, crap," he sighed as he started to the door.

"Who is it?" she said, eyeing her appearance again. While Hannah was dressed, neither of the two had changed out of their pajama attire. Sharon was still in hers, and Andy was in a t-shirt and boxers. He was almost surprised Sharon hadn't commented on that, but he hoped she was just more relaxed and comfortable.

"I have a pretty good guess who would stop by unannounced just after 8:00 on a Saturday morning," he rolled his eyes at her. "You're fine. I bet anything it's Provenza."

Andy glanced out the window and could see Provenza's car in the driveway. Knowing that, he flung open the door, but he didn't realize that would scare Hannah slightly. She let out a little cry, and he groaned when he realized he'd done that to her. "What?"

Provenza eyed him as he stood there and nodded, "Exactly," he gestured to Andy. "Just look at yourself."

"What's wrong? I'm in my own home?" he asked.

"She is in your home, both of them. Both of them have you in this almost trance. One isn't dangerous, but the other is. One won't break your heart; she's stolen it forever, but the other," he shook his head and continued, "Flynn, I can hear it in your voice. I came over to find out if you needed backup."

"Backup? We're not at a crime scene," Andy sighed.

"Where did you sleep last night?" Provenza asked him pointedly.

"In my bed," Andy almost yelled at him, but he turned back and saw Hannah's blocks had captured her interest again.

"With?" Provenza asked.

"Me, myself, and I," Andy threw it back at him.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Provenza waited for him.

Andy crossed his arms and put his finger to his mouth as if he was pondering the thought, "Ahh, no. I'm having a nice morning here."

"Well, I came by for several reasons. One, I had to check and make sure you and the captain weren't cuddle in some bed," he said making a horrified face. "That, I'm not convinced, especially with you standing here in your underwear. Two, I had to see the kid. I haven't seen her in awhile now, and I have rights too. Three, Liz made me get this for your kid, and I needed to bring it over while she's here. I'm not paying to ship it to Arizona."

"Wait," Andy pointed at him and shook his head. "There is so much wrong with that, and I'm almost not sure where to start, but let's go with Liz. Why were you talking to Liz?"

"I wasn't talking to her; we were out last night," Provenza groaned. "Our son's birthday is this weekend, and she insisted we get him some tools he wanted. I didn't care anything about it, but she said if she paid and split it with me, I wouldn't pay," he rolled his eyes. "Now, that isn't what we are here to debate, but we were shopping for those tools last night. Since it was already late, that led to coffee and dessert, and we got to talking."

"Please, please, do not tell me Liz ended up in your bed, Provenza. I really don't need to hear that," Andy sighed.

"No! I'm not that stupid, like I would tell you," Provenza said, a horrified look on his face.

"Says the guy who has married women more than once! I'm not seeing the story here," he said, exasperated at him.

"She figured we were going to sit around and watch baseball all weekend. I told her you were busy with your kid, and then, the whole story came out. Anyway, here," he thrust a bag at Andy. "It's all for the beach or whatever. She picked it out, and I know you said you were going to the beach."

Andy raised an eyebrow at Provenza as he held back a smile. He gestured inside, "Sure, go see Hannah. You know, Sharon is in there too."

"I'll overlook that," he said stepping into the house while Andy held the door with the present. He followed Provenza inside.

"Sharon, Provenza is here," Andy called to her, aware she was almost trying to stay hidden in the kitchen.

Provenza looked at Andy as he sat down in the chair near Hannah. He lifted his nose, "What did you make for breakfast?"

"I'm making French toast, Lieutenant," she said, walking around the corner. Andy could tell she'd tried to smooth her hair more, and he knew she was probably mortified to see Provenza at this point of the morning. "I'm just going to assume you're staying for breakfast?"

Andy chuckled at her quick comment. He ran his hand over his face and shook his head. He answered before Provenza could, who was almost in shock.

"Yes, please, if it's not too much trouble, I'm going to say Provenza is staying. He brought a gift for Hannah," he explained as he held up the bag.

"Oh," Sharon's stance changed.

"Captain, I hope it's safe to eat whatever you are making? I mean, I'm not up for food poisoning, or poisoning of any nature today," he smirked.

"Hmm," she crossed her arms at him, "well, I wasn't up for a pajama party, not with TWO LAPD lieutenants this morning, and look where I am," she shrugged. "You can't always get your way." With that, she turned and walked back into the kitchen. Andy started to chuckle again, and Provenza turned to him, horrified.

"How do you sleep with that? She's impossible," he groaned.

"She dishes it right back at you," Andy grinned. "She's great."

Andy looked down at Hannah who was trying to use his legs as a standing board. He reached down and scooped her up into his arms.

"She's like a little person," Provenza gestured. "Does she talk?"

"She's not a dog! No, she's not really talking yet, just babble. I told you she's not walking yet."

"Well, pass her over," Provenza gestured with his hands. "Is she you know, oozing?"

"Oozing?" Andy looked to him with a questioning gaze before he grinned at Hannah.

"Oozing," Provenza repeated with a gesture. "I'm talking about liquids-bad ones-coming out of anywhere on her-diaper, mouth, anywhere else?"

"She's not oozing," Andy said clearly irritated. "Oozing," he repeated and sighed. "She's teething, hence the bib."

Andy handed Hannah to Provenza, and he studied the bib, "Mommy is my favorite. Flynn is this bib hers or yours?" Provenza smirked.

Andy turned red and shook his head, "Knock it off, Provenza."

"Boys, your food is ready," Sharon called to them, and Andy looked up to see her putting two plates on the table.

"Thanks, Sharon," he said and waved his hand at Provenza. "Bring Hannah to the table. You'd better not be tagging along all day. I want this to be a nice day," he hissed at him. "Here we were, minding our own business, enjoying a quiet Saturday morning."

"Sounds like a fantasy," Provenza told him. "Oh wait, it is. She just wants to sleep with you as her toy when she has supervised visits, and you want the fairy tale. You told me to keep an eye on you this visit. I am. No, I will not be with you all day, but I needed to check on the situation this morning. Glad I did. You two are just a few pieces of clothing away from a roll in the sheets," he whispered back as they walked to the table.

"I told you I'm fine!" Andy hissed, and the two stopped talking when Sharon walked back in with her plate and a pitcher of juice.

"Looks great, Sharon, everything except for the visitor," he gave Provenza a smug grin. Provenza sat down next to Hannah. Her high chair was at the head of the table, and he took what had been Sharon's seat this trip. That left Sharon and Andy to sit on the same side of the table, and Andy held her chair as she sat. Andy heard Provenza groan at that.

"Thanks for breakfast, Captain," Provenza nodded at her as she put her napkin on her lap. She looked up at him.

"Just leave the money on the table like a regular restaurant," she said with a straight face and looked to her food. Andy, who was sipping on his juice, almost spit it out. Instead, he started to choke on it as he tried to swallow it. He finally caught his breath and raised his hand.

"Choking was worth it with that comment," he smiled at Sharon. She briefly met his gaze, but then, she looked to Hannah.

"She would probably eat a banana before her nap," she nodded.

Andy jumped up to get her one, and Provenza watched. Provenza turned back to Sharon, "Captain, the little one is getting bigger. She'll be like a real person when she's talking and walking."

"A real person, Lieutenant," Sharon raised her eyebrow at him.

"Well, it's not like she does much now," Provenza chuckled. "She just has you two at her beckon call now, eating, sleeping, all of that. What is planned for day, Flynn? You kept talking about taking Hannah to the beach, and I've tried to remind you she doesn't even know what the beach is."

"That's the point," Andy flashed a grin as he pulled apart banana pieces. "I want to just get out of the house. It's Mother's Day, after all."

"That's tomorrow," he said between bites.

"That is a very good point," Andy nodded as he chewed. "However, someone I know, who does carry the title of a mother, is dodging out of her tomorrow, so it's today," he flashed a grin at Sharon.

"Captain, I presume that would be you," Provenza smirked.

"Well," she said with a sarcastic tone, "I do have two 'real people' as you would call them, who do call me by the title of mother. I have a third, what maybe half person, in your eyes" she shrugged, "who can't enunciate the term, but yes, I could say I'm a mother. I also have the stretch marks to prove it, but I'm guessing you will take my word on that."

Andy dropped his head, trying not to laugh. Provenza looked to her, horrified, and she just smiled and gave him a small shrug.

"Flynn, she's going to make me suffer through breakfast, isn't she?" Provenza asked.

"Oh, yeah," Andy nodded, giving Hannah more of her banana.

"Captain, if the food wasn't so good, I might just leave, but I'll stay," he grumbled.

"To answer your question," Andy said, "we are going to the beach today, yes. I don't know which beach, but it's beach and dinner. No set place or plans, but we are getting out of the house."

"Good thing I'm not a fan of the beach," Provenza grumbled. "I don't do the beach."

"You don't do a lot of things like run, work, really, you are just good at irritating me," Andy shrugged.

"I was not asked about the beach," Sharon said. "I was told we are going."

"Your idea for the day would be to sit here and hide, to not go anywhere with me. I want to do something. I told you we can go to any beach. You're paranoid about seeing people from work. Believe me," he chuckled. "No one would ever put it together we share a kid."

"Flynn is right about that, Captain," Provenza said as he finished his food. "Best French toast I've had this morning."

"Your only French toast," Andy said quickly.

"Not true," Provenza winked and pointed at him. "I had French toast around 5:30."

Andy eyed him, and he paused a moment, staring at Provenza. Sharon watched the interaction, and Andy shook his head as he frowned. "You sent her home that early?"

"I really don't need to hear this," Sharon said as she stood. "If this is when you two discuss your conquests, I'll leave you to that."

"Oh, it's no conquest, Captain," Provenza said with a flat tone. "It was just my ex-wife."

"I can' believe you took her home," Andy said.

"I didn't TAKE her to my home. She showed up there. We drove to the store together to get the birthday gift. We got coffee and dessert. When we got back to my place, she wanted to wrap the gifts, so she could say it was from both of us," he rolled his eyes. "We had wine, and she just didn't go home."

"She just fell into your bed, right," Andy frowned and shook his head at him. "Right."

Sharon had walked into the kitchen, leaving the men at the table. Provenza leaned in, "That's exactly why I came over here. I woke up, realized what a stupid mistake that was AGAIN, and I had to make sure you weren't doing another dumb thing over here. Kid is cute, but you are only going to get hurt, Flynn."

"Thanks for your concern, Provenza," Andy leaned in and winked. "I won't get hurt. I've resisted this long on her visit."

Provenza looked at Hannah, who was now covered in banana. He looked back at Andy, "You still have another day and night with them here."

"She won't be in my bed tonight, Provenza, but I do appreciate you being a good friend," he told him. "Let's clean up." Provenza made a face, and Andy shook his head and pointed to Hannah. "Dishes or Hannah-your choice. I'm going to relieve Sharon so she can shower, and you and I are on clean up duty."

"Fine," Provenza said as he stood. "I'll help, just to make sure clean up duty doesn't involve you 'helping' the captain with her shower."


	56. Chapter 56

He could hear Sharon down the hall closing the door after putting Hannah to bed. They'd had a good day, a really good day. He was content with the day, certain that, considering all things, it couldn't have gone better. He hated they were leaving in the morning and wanted to press Sharon a little about seeing them again. That topic had been avoided all day, but it was hanging there. He just didn't want to discuss it now, to make Sharon feel like he was pressing her when everything had gone so well. He somewhat wanted to do that, but he also was walking a thin line, aware she was coming to grips with a lot right now. He knew bringing it up tonight might ruin their day, and he didn't want that. He could wait. He would wait. He'd put things out there for Sharon, and the two had cleared the air so to speak, even though she hadn't told him anything in reply to his profession.

"She is already asleep," Sharon said, and Andy glanced up, aware he'd gotten lost in his thoughts. She stood there, glancing down at him, her hands clasped together in front of her. Andy glanced up and gave her a small smile.

"Well, then, I'd say it's time for you to sit too," he leaned toward her and put his hand on hers to tug her toward the couch to sit. "It's been a full day."

She glanced down at his hand on hers, but he tugged again, and instead of saying anything, she walked over to the couch and sat at the other end of it. She turned to face him, as he sat in a similar stance facing her. It was awkward, yet comfortable at the same time, if that was possible. She shifted the pillows behind her and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

"I hope you enjoyed the day," he said quietly, starting the conversation.

"I did," she opened her eyes and looked at him, shifting again to fold her legs to her side. "It was nice to walk on the beach. Fritz, though," she groaned.

"Yeah," Andy frowned. They'd seen Fritz, and both hoped it wouldn't be an issue. Andy didn't think it would; Sharon was not convinced, but Andy kept reminding her that she didn't even live in Los Angeles anymore, not that he thought Fritz would say anything, but he didn't see the problem for Sharon, at least, even if it got back to others. Andy shook his head at the memory.

 _They'd been walking on the beach and had enjoyed a nice afternoon. The two had let Hannah take her normal morning nap, and when she was up from that, they all ate a quick lunch before heading out. They knew she would sleep a little later in the day and hoped to get their walk in on the beach before she got too tired. Andy let Sharon pick the beach. She'd decided on Will Rogers State Beach, thinking that they might not see people like they would on some of the other popular beaches. Plus, it was quiet, more than other beaches in the area, but still a favorite spot. It also required a bit of a drive up the coast, and that had also been enjoyable. It had been a good choice, and they'd had a great walk. Hannah had enjoyed their time, and they had even stopped and sat for awhile to let her crawl a little in the sand. Of course, she'd gotten herself covered in sand, and by the time they were back at the car, she needed a new outfit. As they started back toward his house, Hannah fell asleep in her car seat, and Andy nodded back to her._

 _"_ _I think she's asleep already; I swear I can hear her snoring. She had a lot of fun out there in the sand," he gave her a small smile._

 _"_ _She did," Sharon said, shifting to check on her back there in her seat. She leaned around the car seat and then situated herself again in her seat, "She's asleep. She ate way too much sand."_

 _"_ _Yeah," Andy ran his hand over the back of his neck and continued, "you'd think she would have figured that out after the first taste, that sand isn't good to eat. She was a little slow on that."_

 _"_ _Something I will have to note in her baby book-enjoyed sand too much," she teased._

 _"_ _Since she's sleeping, want me to just take a scenic drive home, down the coast some? Traffic is bad anywhere you go this time of day," he mentioned._

 _"_ _That's fine," she nodded. "I don't miss L.A., but I do miss the ocean. I enjoy looking at it. This," she nodded, "this was a good idea."_

 _"_ _What?" Andy acted shocked. "You're admitting I had a good idea? I need to record this."_

 _She just rolled her eyes slightly and turned back to the window. The two continued the drive in silence, and on occasion, they could hear Hannah snoring slightly. Andy broke the silence a few minutes later._

 _"_ _How about a cup of coffee or tea? I could use one," he asked. Sharon turned back to him and found him looking at her._

 _"_ _That does sound good," she nodded._

 _"_ _Provenza and I have a favorite place, not far from here. We stop anytime we have to come up this way, which isn't too often, but we found it years ago. They just have good coffee. Sound okay?" he asked._

 _"_ _Sure," she nodded._

 _"_ _I'll get the coffee for us, so we don't have to wake her," he nodded to Hannah. Sharon also nodded in agreement._

 _Almost a half hour later with all the traffic, they pulled into the coffee shop. It was in an older shopping center, but a well kept one. Sharon looked over at Andy as he parked. "I think I'll take a cup of coffee today."_

 _"_ _Coffee?" he raised his eyebrow and nodded. "Going for the strong stuff, I see," he chuckled. "One coffee coming up. I'll be back. Anything else?"_

 _"_ _No," she gave him a small smile. Andy got out of the car and walked inside to wait. There was a line, four people in front of him, but it was fine. Hannah was sleeping. She'd had time to sleep now, and when she got up again, he planned to grab some dinner with the two of them. He turned when the door opened again a few minutes later, the line taking a very long time. He'd thought about leaving, but he really wanted a cup of coffee. His expression changed and turned to a smile at the sight of Sharon walking in the door, Hannah awake in her arms._

 _"_ _Sorry, but she woke up, and she could use a diaper change. I thought I'd change her in here and wash up myself," she explained._

 _Andy nodded, "I can help if you want. I mean, if you want me to change her or whatever, I can. I'll hold her while you freshen up too."_

 _"_ _It will be fine," she nodded. "I'll be right back." Andy watched her walk to the bathroom in the back. He continued to wait in line and was next in line when his eye caught the door opening again._

 _His eyes widened at the sight of Fritz walking inside. Both men recognized each other, and Andy threw him a small wave._

 _"_ _Fritz," Andy said with a quick glance back at the bathroom area. He looked back to Fritz. "You working?" Fritz was in a suit, not normal Saturday attire._

 _"_ _Andy, I didn't expect to see you here of all places. Yes, working. I have a team in the area. I'm in search of much needed cup of coffee. I love this place," he explained._

 _"_ _Yeah, same," Andy said. "Ahh, look, please, if you are working, I insist you order before me." Andy glanced again to the back, but Sharon wasn't in view._

 _"_ _Oh, no," Fritz waved. "Honestly, it's good to just do something normal right now. I've been working for hours. I'm the last one on my team to take a break, and I'm going to take my time. What brings you out here?"_

 _"_ _Oh, just getting out, walked on the beach," he said. It was his turn, and he gestured again to Fritz, who declined to go first. Andy stepped up quickly and ordered, "Two black coffees, please." While he had a moment alone, he tried to think about how he was going to explain this. It was inevitable; Sharon would walk out with Fritz there talking to Andy. He paid for the drinks, and then, he stepped to the side._

 _"_ _If you are working, I'm sure Chief is at the office today, even on her day off," Andy said to him, a slight smile on his face._

 _Fritz flashed a grin, "Normally, you would be correct. Brenda's parents flew in for the weekend, Mother's Day, and she is with them. I love Brenda's parents, but there are times I can only take so much. I'm okay working this weekend," he chuckled. "Brenda has tried calling me at least three times to see if I'll be home to 'rescue' her as she calls it."_

 _Andy laughed, and Fritz stepped up to order while Andy waited. When his drinks were ready, he turned to get them, Fritz eyeing Andy at the sight of two coffee cups. At that moment, Sharon walked up, not paying attention to Fritz standing there next to Andy._

 _"_ _She's still covered in sand," Sharon said, brushing at Hannah as she walked. She continued to shift Hannah, and Andy just groaned, aware that the few seconds he was distracted with the coffee, Sharon had come out of the bathroom._

 _"_ _Captain, Sharon," Fritz corrected himself at the sight of Sharon. His eyes widened, and Sharon looked up from dealing with the sand on Hannah for her first glimpse at Fritz. Sharon was in shorts, a loose top, and sandals. It was clear she'd been outside, and Andy knew Fritz would hang onto the comments about the beach._

 _"_ _Agent Howard," her eyes widened, and she looked to Andy. "Ahhh, I didn't, I mean, I, ahh, what a surprise," she said finally._

 _"_ _We were just catching up," Andy tried to explain the situation. "She's in town for the weekend."_

 _Fritz looked between them, trying to figure out what to say, "Oh, right, you moved away. Yeah, I heard all about that. Arizona," he looked to her._

 _"_ _Yes," she said, shifting Hannah. "I'm teaching-university level-in Arizona. It's been a very nice change. It seems like a lifetime ago now I was with the LAPD."_

 _"_ _True, until you have to come back here to testify," Andy jumped in, trying to catch her gaze. "She is in town for court."_

 _"_ _Right," Sharon nodded. "I'm flying home tomorrow."_

 _Fritz gave an odd look at them, "I guess I didn't realize you two were friends."_

 _Andy let out a nervous chuckle, "Yeah, well, neither did we," he shook his head. "You know, we became friends the last couple years, started really during that RV case."_

 _"_ _Oh, right," Fritz nodded. "Yes, I guess you two were stuck together on that trip. I've tried to forget that trip. It's one thing to spend time with the in-laws, and it's another to travel with them by RV."_

 _"_ _Oh, that's right!" Sharon said, her eyes sparkling now. "You got married recently. Congratulations."_

 _"_ _Thank you," he nodded. "February, and I have to admit, there were times I wasn't sure it was ever going to happen. Brenda means well, but planning, wedding planning in particular, is not her favorite thing to do."_

 _"_ _Well, I'm happy for the two of you," Sharon said shifting Hannah._

 _"_ _Captain," he said, and when he saw Sharon about to correct him, he raised a hand in defense. "Sorry, Sharon," he said and smiled, "I believe I owe you a congratulations. I couldn't help but notice you have a darling little girl there."_

 _"_ _Thank you," Sharon smiled brightly, and she caught Andy trying to smile at her, but she focused on Fritz. "This is Hannah."_

 _"_ _She's beautiful," Fritz smiled. "I do love kids, and she's one of the cutest I've ever seen. I have to say, I was surprised to hear you'd retired and moved with your baby, but I get it. Raising a kid in a busy work atmosphere is hard."_

 _"_ _It is," Sharon nodded. "I've already done that with my older two. I'm in a different place in life, and it was for the best." She again could feel Andy looking at her, but she couldn't look at him._

 _"_ _So," Fritz gestured, "how old is Hannah? She's not quite one, is she?"_

 _"_ _Ahh, no," Sharon smiled and grinned at Hannah who smiled too. "She's eight and a half months old, born last August. She's great, tiring me on a daily basis, but great."_

 _"_ _August," Fritz nodded, digesting the information. "Nice you could bring her here with you for court," he said, but he didn't ask the specifics. "Well, she's coming up then on her first birthday. So, you're leaving tomorrow?"_

 _"_ _Yes," she said quickly. "Andy and I were going to just have a cup of coffee." While that was true, Andy noted she was very careful in her explanation. When Fritz looked at him, he just gave a small shrug._

 _"_ _I'll let you two catch up," Fritz said, looking between them. "Funny how that awful trip brought about this friendship. I didn't know."_

 _"_ _Yeah," Andy said, jumping in. "As you know, Sharon isn't the department favorite. Even Chief has plenty to say," he chuckled._

 _"_ _I've heard, believe me," Fritz smiled at them. "I need to get back to work, so I'll leave you two to catch up with each other. And you Hannah," Fritz smiled at the baby and shook her foot with his hand, "you have some great hair there. August birthday," he nodded and looked at the two. "You two, nice to run into you both in such an out of the way place," he winked and turned to leave. That left Andy standing there with the coffees in hand and Sharon, there holding Hannah, her purse and diaper bag on her shoulder._

 _"_ _Did that just happen?" Sharon turned to Andy after they watched Fritz walk outside. She had a horrified expression._

 _"_ _Never in my wildest dreams," Andy said and shook his head._

 _"_ _Of course, he would see us. He's a smart man," Sharon sighed._

 _"_ _He's also discreet. Be glad-of all the people we could see, we saw the one guy who won't open his mouth to anyone," he gave Sharon a half smile._

 _Sharon tilted her head, "I'm not sure about that."_

 _"_ _I am," he gestured for her to sit. "For one thing, Fritz doesn't want to deal with Chief talking about how much she dislikes you. If he tells her he saw us and figured out our situation, he'd never have a quiet moment at home. Let's just forget about it," he encouraged and smiled at her, trying to catch her eye._

"I hope you know Fritz would never say a word," Andy said now again as they sat on the couch. He and Sharon had discussed it over their coffee for quite some time while at the coffee shop. "Besides, you aren't even here, like you moved away from this mess."

"I just spent most of my life with people gossiping about me, about Jack, about things behind my back. I don't need more of it," she sighed.

"Well, I look like the scum, am the scum," he said. "You look like the golden child. I am the guy who signed away my daughter. You took on being a single mom again, picked up and moved-for the good of your kid-and now, have to deal with an idiot like me still here. You're the saint."

The two heard a loud crash, and Andy jumped up before Sharon could move. She had started to address his comment, but he was already on the move. He shook his head at her, "I'll check on it. Sounds like something fell in the bedroom. You just stay, relax," he told her. He walked back to the bedroom and opened the door. He was glad to see Hannah had slept through whatever the noise was, and with just the light from the hall, he glanced around the room. He saw the basket of clean clothing he'd washed for Hannah had fallen off the dresser and onto Sharon's suitcase, causing it to fall too. He fixed the mess, and then, he walked back into the living room.

"My mistake," he raised his hand. "The basket fell off the dresser. It's okay, and Hannah slept through it." Andy walked back to the couch, but this time, he sat down in the middle of it, closer to Sharon. He reached for her feet and put them in his lap. "I think you deserve a foot massage."

"It's not necessary," she started to shift, but he stilled her feet and looked at her. "I know it's not necessary, but I'd like to do that. You deserve it. I made you do all that walking today," he flashed a grin. "Consider it part of your Mother's Day from Hannah. She just can't rub your feet yet."

Sharon eyed him, but ultimately, her feet stayed there. Andy rested his head back on the back of the couch and started to rub her feet. The two were quiet while he worked on her feet. After several minutes, he stopped and rolled his head toward hers. He gave her a single nod, "I hope that helped."

"Helped?" she raised her eye at him. "I can't remember the last time I had my feet rubbed." She just looked at him, their eyes meeting. No words were said, but their eyes were doing the talking. Slowly, Sharon sat forward and kissed Andy. He didn't resist; he didn't move. Instead, Sharon shifted her feet to move closer to him. She put her hand on his face, as he wrapped one of his hands behind her back. She moved again, now sitting on him to face him. The two continued with their heated kissing. Andy ran his hands up her back, and Sharon started to kiss the side of his neck. They seemed to alternate between intense passion and tender leisure.

At one point, Andy uttered, "Sharon," and then sighed.

"Please, I need this," she said quietly to him. "We both do."

"Things are so complicated," he grumbled between kisses.

She paused to look at him, and Andy rested his hands on her hips. She shook her head at him, "This, tonight doesn't have to be complicated. This, we know how to do. We enjoy this. We've done this before, and I think we are both kidding ourselves if we try to say we won't do this again. Andy," she said, her voice low as she ran her hand up his chest. "You've said all day you wanted me to have a good Mother's Day. This, tonight," she sighed, "would be very good for Mother's Day." Andy stared at her, his hands now moving up her back under her shirt. He paused his movement and let out a long sigh.

"I'm having trouble walking away, Sharon," he said, his words carrying more meaning than Sharon wanted to address tonight. She leaned in and kissed him again, as he wrapped his arms around her. She started to unbutton his shirt. He put his hand on hers, "No, not like this."

Sharon looked into his eyes, searching for an explanation. He leaned toward her and kissed her again, and she started to move her hands back to his shirt again. He shook his head, "If this is happening, it's not happening here." She paused again and sat back, looking into his eyes. He ran his hands up her side, "This, tonight," he nodded, "not out here. If this is happening, it's happening in my bedroom where I want you to stay all night. That's the deal," he said and quickly kissed her lips, hoping to convey while he was serious, he was speaking in a light, flirty tone. "It's not a little fun here on the couch, not tonight." Her eyes stayed on his, and then, while still staring at him, her hands moved back to his shirt. He'd worn a casual button up for the day and had his sleeves rolled up on it. "I'll accept your terms," she said in a low voice, "but the clothing stays out here then."

Andy paused and raised his eyes at her, many emotions going through his mind. He reached for her hand, "You have a deal, all night. Your plane leaves in just over 12 hours. Between now and then, I'm going to make sure this is the best Mother's Day you've ever had."

By 9:30 the next morning, Andy was alone again. He returned home from the airport, almost defeated-exhausted and defeated. His house smelled like Sharon. He could smell the lavender scent that seemed to always linger around her. He walked into his bedroom and stood there, looking at his unmade bed and then moved to sit down on the side of it. They'd had another amazing night, but it was just that again, a night. Yes, she'd been in town for the weekend-for work-but they'd had one night. He'd not planned that. Like he'd told Provenza, he'd planned to not sleep with Sharon. The stakes were too high, but she was just too much for him. He couldn't say no to her; ultimately, he didn't want to say no. He had said yes to their night, another wonderful night to remember. Neither had gotten much sleep. When he'd felt Sharon drift off to sleep in his arms, he'd just stayed there, glued to her side, and listened to her sleep. He thought about how he wanted more of this, but Sharon was still dancing around the main issues. He wanted her; that was not an issue, and she clearly wanted him. Physical chemistry was easy, but the emotional layer was still a mess. Andy had finally fallen asleep, and he'd missed Sharon getting up early in the morning. When he finally rolled over to reach for her, he found her spot cold; she'd been up for awhile. He glanced at the clock and saw it was 7:45, almost time to take her to the airport. He'd slept longer than he wanted, and he jumped out of bed, threw on some clothing, and he went into the living room to find her.

"You didn't wake me," Andy called to her as he walked across the room. Hannah was rolling around on the floor on her blanket, playing with a toy. Andy stopped and leaned down to run his hand over her hair, as he kept his eyes on Sharon. She was busying herself with her suitcase, zipping it up while keeping an eye on Hannah.

"I had things to pack," she shrugged. "I know you didn't get much sleep."

Andy stood up and with eyes still on her, walked to her. He put his hand on hers, which was on the suitcase, and he looked at her. He put his hand lightly on her shoulder, "Morning," he said and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him back, quickly, and then, she stepped back.

"Hi, umm, I need to finish packing," she said and stepped away.

"Sharon," he sighed. "Let's talk about this. You can't deny we are great together, in more ways than one."

She paused her packing and looked to him, "I really need to focus on packing. Can we talk about this later, please?"

"Later? Sure," he said sarcastically. "Later means never or if we do talk, it's on the phone where I can't see you, can't touch you. I just want us to be together."

"Andy," she looked to the ceiling before she looked back at him, her lips pursed, "last night was great. I needed that. You did too. We help each other."

"Just great," Andy rested his hands on the back of his chair and nodded. "That will be great to tell her as she grows up, and I'm around the two of you. 'Hannah, I help your mom relieve her sexual tension. That's our deal.' Sharon, that isn't going to work."

Sharon looked to Hannah as Andy spoke of her. She was putting toys up to her mouth and looking between them. Sharon shook her head and looked back at Andy, "I will talk about this, just not now."

"When did you get up? When did you leave my bed?" he asked. "I'm good enough to give you what you want, but then you just up and leave?"

"I got up around 5:30, and I didn't want to wake you, well," she looked up and met his gaze. "I thought about waking you, but we pretty much exhausted ourselves last night. I got up, took a shower, and I started to get ready. We will need to leave soon."

"Right," Andy threw up his hands. "You're leaving again. I guess I'll get a call when you are ready for more?" Andy gave her an irritated look and waved his hand. "I'm getting dressed."

Now, he was here at home, alone, and he was hating himself for getting into an argument with her. He was insane; he knew it. Insanity was doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result. He was sleeping with Sharon over and over, hoping she'd never leave his bed. She'd left; she'd gone home to Arizona, her new home. He'd slept with her. He needed to figure out what to do now.

Andy flopped back on his bed and closed his eyes. He hated their drive to the airport. The two had been quiet. Hannah had dozed in her car seat, and as they'd pulled into the airport area, Andy had tried to fix the situation, "Look, I hate you leaving like this. I enjoyed you two coming so much. Last night, we just," he sighed. Sharon turned to him.

"Last night," she paused and frowned, not sure what she wanted to say.

"I hate putting you and Hannah on a plane like this. It's Mother's Day! I hate sending you two off again. We never discussed what last night means, when I can see you both again, anything. I feel like we keep dancing around well, LIFE!" he gestured wildly. Andy pulled to the curb to help them get their things. He looked to Sharon, and she looked back at him. Without saying a word, she leaned over, cupped his face, and she kissed him.

"Thank you for last night, for everything. This was a good trip. I just can't talk now," she said quietly and kissed him again before pulling back and gathering her things. Andy dropped his head briefly, but then, he looked up when she opened her door. He sprang into action, got out, and he opened his trunk to get the stroller out for Hannah. He got that ready and then pulled out the bags while Sharon got Hannah out of her car seat. Andy walked to the side to say goodbye to both of them.

He kissed Hannah and held her close, while Sharon got things situated. He put Hannah in her car seat and then, he put that onto the stroller before turning his attention to her. She looked amazing again, in black capri pants, a light blue loose blouse, and light makeup. Her eyes met his, "Last night," she shook her head and cleared her throat before she looked at him, "was what I wanted from this trip."

"That was all you wanted?" he raised his eyebrow at her, his tone short.

She shook her head, "No, I don't mean it like that. I," she paused and let out a long breath. "I needed that, needed you," she said, showing some vulnerability. "I am not explaining this well."

"Where does this leave things? You're trying to get away from me as fast as you can," he told her.

"I have a lot to process," she said to him. "Can I call you, please?"

Andy looked down at Hannah, seeing his sweet baby there. He looked at Sharon again, "I'll wait for your call."

She nodded slightly, and then she stepped toward him. Andy rested his hands on her hips again, and she put her arms on his shoulders. The two kissed, briefly this time, and then, she collected her things. Andy thought he saw her wipe her face as she tried to turn from him.

"Be careful, both of you," he said. "Please let me know when you arrive. I have a lot invested here," he nodded to them. "I care."

"I know you do," Sharon bit her lip. "I truly see that. I'll call you." He stood there, watching Sharon and Hannah until he couldn't see them inside the airport. He needed them; he needed them more than he realized.

Andy woke later, unaware he'd fallen asleep there on his bed. He rolled over slightly. He could still smell Sharon's lavender scent on his pillow. She was everywhere, her scent, that is. He hadn't slept much with their long night, and he rolled over to check the time. It was now after 1:00. He'd slept for several hours. He noticed he had a message waiting on his text messages and opened it.

"Andy, I'm sorry we parted as we did, but I'm not sure what would have fixed it. I'm sorry. Hannah and I landed. I know you want some answers. I don't have all the answers, but I can answer one thing. You asked about seeing Hannah again. You made such an effort for Mother's Day. If you want to visit for Father's Day, I won't stop you. I'll talk to you soon," he read.

Sharon was killing him. He wanted her, but that was also the problem. He'd had her here, in his bed, and she was gone again. He knew he'd go there for Father's Day. He was delighted with the invitation, but he also knew it carried a lot of weight with it. He needed some help; he needed some advice. Before replying to Sharon, he picked up his phone to make a call. Provenza was the voice of reason for him, which sounded crazy, but it was true. He'd confess to Provenza he'd caved the night before and ask for help in figuring out his next trip. Father's Day. He was a father without rights to his kid, but he was being invited to see her for Father's Day.

"Provenza," he said when Provenza picked up the phone. "Listen, I need to talk." Yes, he'd talk. He'd get advice, and later, he'd call Sharon. He had so much to say.


	57. Chapter 57

She missed her mom. It was hard to believe she'd been gone now almost three months. It felt like a lifetime. She had so much she wanted to tell her mother, ask her mother, but she couldn't. Sharon looked up from her chair and smiled at the sight of her dad in the pool with loved her so much. In a way, Sharon knew her dad had thrown a lot of his grief into his attention towards Hannah. She understood and in a way, she was doing the same thing. Her dad was doing okay. He was getting along by himself, alone, but she knew he was lonely. She'd been trying to spend more time with him, partly because she knew he was lonely, but also because she knew life was short. As abruptly as her mom died, she knew her dad could do the same. She wanted to cherish each moment, as she was doing this afternoon.

Sharon waved at her dad and leaned back in her lounge chair. They'd been taking turns with Hannah in the water. It was so hot outside, but both she and her dad were tired. It was a combination of mental and physical exhaustion. She'd been in town a few days now, helping her dad with sorting through her mom's things. He hadn't gone through much of her things yet, and it was time. Sharon had hauled things in from the garage and down from the attic, and the two had reminisced about her mom. They had made a lot of progress, but there was still plenty to sort. They had tried to work around Hannah's schedule, sorting through a few boxes while Hannah napped each day. In the late afternoon, they had spent each day at the pool with her, trying to exhaust her so she would sleep well at night. It had mostly been working. She was growing so much right now; she was almost walking, but she wasn't there yet. She was standing and moving along furniture, and it amazed Sharon how much Hannah had changed in just the last few weeks. She still felt actual walking was at least a month away, but Hannah was getting there.

Sharon knew Andy would be surprised with the progress Hannah was making. He was due to visit at the end of the week, and she was a bit nervous about that. It had been over a month now since she'd seen Andy, their last visit still fresh in her mind. She couldn't deny she wanted the man; she really did. When she'd had time at home to daydream and think about a man in her bed, he continually came to mind. She'd even try to envision men she met fulfilling that role, but each time, her mind would drift to Andy. They really had a chemistry, one she couldn't explain, but she was now counting the days to his visit, mostly for selfish reasons. She wanted him.

Now, Sharon was aware the primary reason for his visit was to see Hannah, and she had to admit he'd surprised her about his intentions, or rather, that his intentions were so honest and true. He loved Hannah; she could see it. There were days Sharon still couldn't believe she had a young daughter, but then, there were days like today, it seemed like Hannah had been in her life forever. She looked over and waved at her dad again. This time, she decided to go and sit on the side of the pool to cool off. She stood, adjusting her wide brimmed hat, and she ran her hand over her simple, but well-cut black one-piece swimsuit. It was modest, but attractive, fitting her needs now as a mother of three. Plus, she spent most of her time at the pool with her dad and didn't see the need for any other style of suit. She walked across the hot concrete and stepped into the pool at the steps. She sat down as her dad walked over to her with Hannah in his arms.

"You two look like you are having a great time," Sharon smiled at her dad and waved at Hannah. He had a good grip on her in his arms. He had Hannah giggling as he would bend down in the water and stand up quickly. For some reason, Hannah thought this was hilarious.

"Water feels great, and you know she's a water baby," her dad said.

"That she is," Sharon smile at her daughter. "Hi, Baby." She made a face at Hannah, who started giggling at her mom. Sharon could now see her three teeth, two on the bottom and one on the top. She had a few others about ready to cut through, but they hadn't yet. Hannah's dark hair was wet and almost matted against her hair. Sharon studied her daughter and frowned at her dad, 'Her swimsuit is getting too small."

Her dad nodded as he looked at Hannah, "I know. I tried to buy her the same one in the next size, but the store was out. I didn't see it online."

Sharon gave a tearful nod, "That was sweet of you. I just can't part with it," she shrugged. "Mom bought her that, and she was so excited about it." They both looked at each other, and Sharon just shook her head, "She had great taste. The little strawberry suit is adorable on her. That is something I will keep forever. Look at me," she let out a tearful chuckle, "upset over an infant swimsuit. Here I am a grown woman, a former police captain, and I'm tearing up about a strawberry suit."

Her dad reached over from where he was standing in the water and patted her knee, "I know. I know. It's not easy. She loved you; she loved us, all of us. She was so delighted with Hannah, and I know this sounds odd to say, but Hannah was almost like this extra little gift to her. We thought we were done having small grandchildren. We'd watched two grow up, and then, she came along," he jostled Hannah who started to giggle. That had Sharon laughing too, and she smiled at her dad. "Sometimes, things happen for a reason. Hannah is clearly here for a reason."

Sharon nodded and dropped her head for a moment. Then, she said, "I'm glad Mom was here to see Hannah. I cherish that, the time Mom had with Hannah, the time we had together. I still can't believe she's gone," Sharon sighed.

"Your mother made me a better man. I find myself wanting to still be better every single day, better in everything, all for her. I know she's watching over all of us," he gave Sharon a small smile. Hannah rubbed her eye, and both adults caught that.

"I think you've worn her out today," Sharon smiled at her dad. "I'm glad she and I came down here for a long weekend."

"I am too. I'm happy you have somewhat of a summer break, and I'm glad you are taking time for yourself, for Hannah. You both deserve that. I know it was a lot different when you were raising Emily and Ricky. I hope I'm here for years to come to help with this little beauty, but as you said, she is getting tired. You ready to go back to the house?"

"I am," Sharon nodded as she stood. She put her arms out to collect Hannah, "I can take her."

"No, no," he waved off Sharon. "I'm going to take her for one more spin around the pool. Guys here are drooling at the sight of this beautiful young lady," he winked. He leaned toward Sharon and whispered, "Well, the really old guys, two dropped dentures around the pool area today, but we'll go with the idea they are drooling."

Sharon burst out laughing and covered her mouth. She looked to her dad, "You really saw dentures?"

"They don't secure them!" Bob said. "I think they are forgetful in their old age," he winked. "You get things ready, and I'll be over with her in a minute."

Sharon nodded and waved to Hannah and her dad. She walked back to their chairs and started to collect their things. It looked like they had packed for a week-long trip, all the towels, floats, diapers, and snacks. She smiled at the sight and gathered their things. Her dad was right; her mom was watching over them. She hoped her mom would be proud of her. It bothered Sharon now that she'd not told her mom about Andy, really that she hadn't introduced Andy to her mom. That, Sharon knew would haunt her forever. She and her dad hadn't discussed more about Andy. Her dad was quiet, observant, but he didn't pry. He never had been that type of father. She hadn't said much more to him either. He was aware she'd taken Hannah with her to Los Angeles. She'd told her dad that Andy was going to help with Hannah while she was in court, but she hadn't discussed where she was staying or anything else about her trip. Her dad hadn't asked either, which she really appreciated. She didn't know what to say. As she gathered her things, she pulled out her phone to check the time. It was 4:50, definitely time to head back to her dad's house. She enjoyed his community swimming pool. It was well shaded even with the intense heat. The pool area had a large shade structure and misters, and that did help with the heat. It was still hot, but tolerable for a very short amount of time. Her mom had been so proud to bring Hannah here for her first swim back in March just before she died, and now, Sharon almost saw it as a tradition to continue, bringing Hannah to the pool. They were just a short walk to her dad's place, and the stroller worked well transporting Hannah and all of the pool items. This would work tonight. They would walk home, get Hannah in the bath, and feed her before fixing dinner for the evening. Her dad enjoyed steak; he could easily fix that and had been grilling a lot since her mom's death. Sharon had at least suggested a nice salad with dinner, along with corn on the cob and fruit, so she, too, was looking forward to their meal. It was now Monday. She'd driven down on Thursday and had plans to leave sometime tomorrow. She didn't have to be home for anything in particular. She'd told Helen she could help at the flower shop over the weekend, but it was a weekend things weren't too busy. The last couple weekends had been slow at the flower shop, giving Sharon some down time at home. She almost missed a text message on her phone, but as she was checking the time again, she saw she had one and paused to look at it.

"Sharon, I am so sorry, so sorry. You have no idea. I feel like a dirt bag, a total failure because I have to cancel for this weekend. I feel like I'm the stereotypical deadbeat dad, walking away from a planned visit. My dad fell again. He needs surgery. He broke his hip. Doc is going to put pins in it and thinks he will be okay. I need to fly there. My sister has been sick all week, and I can't put this on her alone. I hate myself for having to cancel this weekend. I am not the guy who wants to break a promise. I promised to visit. I hope we can discuss another time I can come because this isn't me just flaking out on the weekend. I'm trying to secure a flight to New York. I'm not sure how long I will be there, but I need to make sure he does okay with the surgery. Tried to call you, but no answer. Hope all is well. Andy," she read, rolling her eyes slightly at him signing his name at the end of a text message. She paused to reflect on the message. It struck her that he felt so badly about missing his visit. Here, his dad was in need of surgery, surgery that was more complicated due to his dad's age and frail condition, and he was worried about what she would think of his having to cancel. She understood; of course, she understood. It almost pained her that Andy thought she would be mad at him for that, but as she had her issues, he did too. Feeling like a deadbeat parent was one of his issues. She looked over to the pool and smiled at her dad and Hannah. They couldn't see her, but her dad was talking to a friend of his and showing off Hannah. She had a moment before he got out of the water with her, so she turned, almost if that would hide her, and started to text him back.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Please don't apologize for this weekend. Things come up. I understand. Go and be with your dad. I understand that, and it's why I didn't answer my phone. I'm at the pool with Dad and Hannah. Call me later if you like with your travel plans," she sent. She paused, re-reading her message and his. The last month, things had been okay with Andy. He continued to show he was very invested in Hannah's life, texting and calling about her all the time. He and Sharon had talked a few times each week, mostly about Hannah. She'd avoided conversations dealing with any relationship between the two adults. In fact, she'd avoided the topic of 'them' so much, that she hadn't even asked him to stay at her apartment for the weekend coming up. She kept thinking about it each time they spoke, but she hadn't gotten up the nerve to ask him, and now, it wasn't a conversation she'd have to have. He wasn't coming for this trip. She'd wanted to invite him to stay at her place, for selfish reasons, yes, but she also knew he would want to see as much of Hannah as he could. Sharon knew the invitation would come with an unspoken arrangement to sleep together all weekend, which was probably why she'd continually had cold feet asking him. He'd told her over and over now he felt differently about her, that he couldn't just show up each visit and hop into bed. She wanted to respect that, but she found herself longing for him in her bed, just as she was now, except now he wasn't coming to visit. She understood, but that didn't change her frustration.

"Someone is tired," she heard and spun around, coming face to face with her dad. She clutched her phone in her hand and smiled at her dad.

"Would that be your or Hannah?" Sharon chuckled as she winked at her dad. "Let's get you both home. I think we could all use a relaxing evening."

"Everything okay?" Bob asked, nodding to Sharon's phone, now clutched on her chest.

Sharon looked down at it and pulled it away from her, dropping her hand to her side, "Oh, yes, fine. I was just checking my messages. I'll dry off Hannah so you can do the same."

The two finished at the pool and walked home. Sharon took Hannah for her bath, while her dad started to marinate the steaks. Her phone rang while she had Hannah in the bath, and she answered it quickly when she saw Andy was calling.

"I'm sorry about your dad," she said as she answered.

"Sharon, hi, thanks," he sighed. She could almost hear the frustration in his voice with just those few words. Hannah was splashing. Sharon had her eyes on her as she sat there by the tub. She looked to the door and saw it open to the hallway. Sharon stood to close it, not wanting her dad to hear her conversation.

"Did you make your travel arrangements?" Sharon asked.

"I am working on it, in addition to wrapping up my work here. I was in the middle of a case. I'd try to finish, but my sister is really not well right now. She'd had some sort of a cough and cold for over a week. I know it's just her immune system down, but the last thing I need is for her to try and sit in a hospital dealing with will be okay, but I need to be there to help. I'm trying to finish here and then going home. I have Buzz researching my flight. He wanted to help, and I think he's found one first thing in the morning. I just wanted to call again to apologize for the weekend. I hope you won't keep me from seeing Hannah. This isn't what I want," he sighed. "I don't have more than a minute, but I had to go on an errand in the building and wanted to touch base with you. Is that Hannah?" Andy asked.

Sharon smiled at her daughter and nodded, "Yes, she's splashing in the tub. Dad and I had her at the pool. I appreciate the call, and sure, yes, we can discuss another visit when things settle."

"I appreciate it. I just don't know when that will be," he let out a long sigh. "Could you put me on speaker for her, for just a minute?"

"Ahh, okay," she said and turned to Hannah as if Hannah understood everything she was saying. "Hannah, Andy is on the phone," she told her.

"Hey, Beautiful. Be good for your mom. I saw a picture of you in the pool the other day. Glad you are having fun with Mom and Grandpa. I love you," he said. "Thanks, Sharon," he told her. Sharon took it off speaker phone.

"It's not a problem,"she told him. "Please don't stress about seeing Hannah. I know you want to see her. We will figure out a time."

"It's just I know you start summer school session soon, and work is tight. I don't know," he told her.

"Focus on your dad. You're feeling overwhelmed. I understand that. Your dad needs you, as you already know. Go, and we can talk soon," she told him. "I know you care."

"I do. I wish I could talk more, but I need to go. I have to finish here at work and get Buzz to book my flight. I'll keep you posted, Sharon. Take care," he said to her.

"Be safe, Andy, and keep me posted," she said.

Sharon hung up and sat down again on the side of the tub, clutching her phone. She smiled at her beautiful baby girl. She groaned when Hannah smiled back at her, that smile the same one she saw on Andy. It shocked her he didn't see it, that Hannah looked so much like him. She saw it all the time, a constant reminder of him. He was not going anywhere. Sharon turned her attention back to Hannah, but as she did her mind started to wander. She suddenly froze, sitting there on the side of the bathtub. She thought a moment, and then, quickly, she let the water out and scooped up Hannah to dry her off quickly. She needed to get to her computer.

20 minutes later, with her plan in motion, Sharon emerged from her bedroom with Hannah in her arms, washed and in her pajamas. Her dad looked up from the stove where he was cutting up fruit for the fruit salad Sharon wanted.

"I have a change of plans," she told him, walking to strap Hannah into her high chair. Her dad raised his eyebrows at her, "I have no set work plans for the next few days, and it dawned on me I should go see Emily before I get busy with work again. She's in the middle of a show, and I want to see her. It makes sense to fly there now while I am already in Phoenix. You can drop me off at the airport. I have nothing to take care of at home right now, and I checked and can fly there tomorrow. I can spend a few days there and return Sunday. It still puts me back home before work gets crazy again."

Her dad continued to listen, watching Sharon as she gestured wildly as she explained. She knew she was doing that and knew her dad was watching her. She met his gaze, and he just nodded.

"It will be great," she smiled at her dad, trying to convince him. "It's like a last minute surprise. I'll book a hotel and will have a few days with my girls. You and I both keep saying life is short. My girls are sisters and barely see each other. It will be good for all of us. Emily will be busy too, but I can just relax too. Anyway, what do you think?"

Her dad pursed his lips as he met her gaze, "Sounds like I need to get to bed early if I'm taking you to the airport in the morning. Whatever inspired this last-minute trip, I hope the trip is what you want, Sharon. I just want you to be happy."


	58. Chapter 58

She'd certainly surprised him; she could hear it in his voice. She found herself smiling, happy that she had surprised him. Sharon was in New York. It had been a long day of travel, but she was now at her hotel, trying to get settled for the night. With her last-minute ticket booking, she'd only been able to get a flight with a connection in Chicago, a three-hour layover, at that, and she'd managed, but now, she was exhausted. Her exhaustion also probably stemmed from the fact that she hadn't slept well the night before, thinking about this trip. She'd only slept two or three hours, and then, she'd been on the go all day. Adding to that, the time change, even with jumping ahead, she was tired. Hannah was tired. However, she was trying to push through her exhaustion; Andy was on his way.

She'd waited until she was on the ground to call Andy. She knew he had an early flight. Sharon had not gotten the specific details, but she thought he'd said he had a flight around 5:45 AM. He'd gotten in earlier in the afternoon. She had not. It was now after 7:00 PM. Emily was at work. Sharon had already checked on that, and the two had discussed getting together Wednesday morning, since she was currently at work on this Tuesday evening. Sharon had ordered room service for dinner, a simple salad with a bowl of fruit when she checked in at the hotel. That was sitting on the desk for her. She would eat later. Now, she was trying to get Hannah ready for bed and had her in the bath. The baby had done well with all the travel, and she was really having fun splashing in the tub. Sharon smiled down at her and leaned over to kiss her head. Even the layover had been okay with Hannah. It gave Sharon time to get her off the plane, change her properly, feed her, and walk her around the airport in the stroller. Yes, she'd done just fine traveling today with the baby, even with this spur of the moment trip.

After getting to her room, now not long ago, she'd called Andy. It was a bit of a surprise he was coming to see her tonight, but she wasn't really sure what she expected. She did expect him to be surprised; he clearly was, but she thought maybe he'd want to stop by in the morning, not that she was upset he was coming over this evening. His father was doing okay. He'd had surgery earlier in the day, Andy arriving while his dad was still in surgery. His dad was now out of surgery, out of recovery, and back in his room, and from what he'd told Sharon, his dad was sleeping. She thought back to the call and smiled slightly at the surprised reaction from Andy.

 _"_ _Andy, hi," she said when he answered. "How is your dad?"_

 _"_ _Sharon, wow, ahh, this is a surprise. Thanks for calling. He's doing okay, at least that's what I'm being told. He's still in recovery. The doc just came out and said surgery went well. That's a huge relief. You know how it is with older adults and surgeries. There's no guarantee," he explained._

 _"_ _Oh, that's such a relief," she let out her breath. "I am sure you are feeling better about the situation. I guess I don't have to ask if your flight went okay then if you are there."_

 _"_ _It went fine," he said. "I just told my sister to go home and rest. She's been here all day, and she looks exhausted. I can stay with him awhile. This is why I wanted to come, to be here for her as much as anything. Right now, she's getting a cup of coffee for both of us, and then, she's going to wait for another half hour or so and go home for the night."_

 _"_ _I'm glad you can be there for your family. I don't know what it is like to have a sibling to share the family responsibility, but I can imagine it is comforting. Listen, I wanted to tell you something," she said._

 _"_ _What's that? Oh, is Hannah okay? Nothing happened, did it? Is this about visiting? I do want to come, but I haven't had a chance to look at dates," he said as he continued to ramble._

 _"_ _Andy," she said, interrupting his rambling. She waited for him to stop talking before she continued, "Everything is fine. As far as a visit, that is what I wanted to discuss. Hannah and I are in New York."_

 _"_ _New York? You're here? Wait, what?" Andy questioned._

 _"_ _I flew to New York," Sharon said, clearing her throat as she looked over at Hannah sitting up and playing in the crib the hotel had provided. "I felt like you could use some support. Look, it really meant a lot when you came to my mother's funeral, and this," she shrugged again even though he couldn't see her. She paused and then said, "This, I wanted to support you. Emily lives here, so I also have the opportunity to see her."_

 _"_ _Sharon, I don't know what to say," Andy said clearly surprised. His voice reflected that, slightly high-pitched. "Coming to your mom's funeral was different. I mean, she died. It wasn't that big of a deal for me to come. I sound insensitive. What I'm trying to say is that it was a huge deal she died, but it wasn't that much of a stretch for me to come to you. You, you had to fly here. I can't imagine the effort you put into getting here. You really are here, in New York?"_

 _"_ _I am," she explained. "Hannah and I landed a couple hours ago. We are just getting settled."_

 _"_ _Wait, your daughter, I mean, you told Emily?" Andy asked._

 _"_ _No, I didn't tell her anything, other than I was surprising her with a visit," Sharon explained._

 _"_ _When can I see you and Hannah?" Andy asked. "I don't want to make things awkward with Emily. I am sure you are in for the night with her."_

 _"_ _Oh," Sharon gestured with her hand in the air. "I am not staying with Emily. She has a studio apartment, barely big enough for the furniture she has. I think my living room is bigger than her apartment. No, Hannah and I are at a hotel. I usually stay at the same one when I visit Emily. I tried staying with her once, and it was just too tight."_

 _"_ _You're serious? Sharon, you spent a ton of money, all just to come because my dad fell? I don't know what to say, "he exclaimed._

 _"_ _I knew you wanted to see Hannah and hoped this would help. I know that things are stressful with your family," she told him. "Hannah traveled well, and this way, you can still see her for the weekend."_

 _"_ _So, it's just about Hannah?" Andy asked, not really expecting a reply. The line was silent for a few moments before he continued, "Look, when can I stop by, or I guess I should ask if I can even stop by your hotel?"_

 _"_ _I'm here to help, however I can, to make things easier for you. You are welcome to stop by whenever you like," she said. "I'm here until Sunday."_

 _"_ _I'll be by in a couple hours," he said. "Let me get my dad settled for the night, and I'll be there. Sharon, I can't wait to see you and Hannah."_

Now, as Sharon played with Hannah in the tub, she thought about that last statement from Andy, how he couldn't wait to see both of them. She hadn't told him that she was looking forward to seeing Andy. She didn't know what the weekend might bring, but she was longing for him, for him in bed with her. Yes, some of her travel reasons were selfish. She felt terrible thinking about time with him in bed while his dad was sick, but she knew that might help Andy too. It had been a good stress relief for her countless times, especially after her mom died, and if she could repay the favor, she'd be glad to do so.

She jumped back slightly when Hannah made a large splash and looked down at her clothing. She was glad she'd changed for Hannah's bath time, but she wanted to change again before Andy stopped by later. Her travel clothing felt dirty after a full day of travel, and she'd changed out of that. Currently, she had on an old t-shirt, a favorite she liked to wear around her house or her dad's house, and she had on gray leggings with the old shirt. Hannah always splashed a lot in her bath, and before Andy came by, Sharon planned to put on something more flattering. She smiled at Hannah, who grinned at her, showing off her teeth again. Sharon groaned at the grin. It was that look of Andy's again. She sighed and grabbed the towel to dry off Hannah. As she got up with Hannah in her arms, she checked the time and noted she still had plenty of time until Andy stopped by. Really, she had no idea when that would be, as he was not on a set schedule with the hospital, but it would be nice to see him.

It took a few minutes to dress Hannah, as now, she was trying to roll around a lot when being changed. It was a struggle, and her little feisty attitude made it more of a challenge. Hannah also seemed to not like the footed pajamas, which was odd. Her other kids had loved them, but each morning, she found Hannah had tried to kick her way out of them, really causing a tangled mess with her pajamas. As an experiment, she'd bought a two-piece pajama set with no footed bottoms, and Hannah seemed to prefer those much more. It was odd, but she figured maybe Hannah was getting hot or uncomfortable at night, and if the two-piece pajamas helped, she would start buying those. She put Hannah's pajama shirt on her, and then, as she started to put on her pants, she heard a knock at her door. Her eyes widened; she had her room service. Emily was working, so the only other person who could be at the door was Andy. She picked up Hannah and walked to the door, scowling at her appearance.

"Andy," she said, almost breathlessly, as she opened the door. She'd checked before opening, and sure enough, he was standing there in the hall. "I didn't expect you this soon."

"Hi," he gave her a warm smile, his eyes sparkling. He seemed to look over Sharon and then, he turned his attention to Hannah, giving her the same once over before he looked back at Sharon. Whatever it was, instinct or not, she leaned up toward him and gave him a hug, Hannah still in her arms. She could tell he was a bit surprised, but he quickly pulled them in for a hug.

"I'm sorry about your dad again, but I'm glad to hear he's on the med," she said quietly as she hugged him. She stepped back, Hannah still in her arms as the baby looked around. "Oh, would you like to hold her? Come in," she gestured to the room. "I was not quite done dressing her."

"Thanks," he said as he squeezed her arm. He reached for Hannah, "Oh, Pumpkin, it's so good to see you," he said as he kissed her head. "Mmm, lavender. You've had your bath and smell like your mom."

Sharon stepped back into the room and gestured for Andy to walk further into it. She sighed, "Sorry the room is a mess. I thought it would be much later before you stopped by here. I'm a mess for that matter," she rolled her eyes.

Andy sat down on the side of the bed, holding Hannah, and he gave Sharon a soft smile, "You look great, a very lovely sight after a long day. I still can't believe you are here." He lifted Hannah and got her smiling and giggling. Sharon pointed at him.

"She's just calming down after her bath. If you get her all excited again, you have to get her to sleep later. She's just about ready for bed. The one good thing about her not sleeping well with her naps today is that she just might catch up to the time change okay tonight." She handed him Hannah's pajama pants and gave him a look, one that had him almost cringe. It was a look he'd seen at work, a look of warning.

"Okay," he frowned at Hannah. "Sorry, Pumpkin, Mom said no fun tonight. We'll have fun this week though." He kissed her head and put her back on his lap as he finished dressing her. She bucked, not happy with being seated again, and he stood her up on his lap, which is what she wanted. He raised his eye at Sharon.

"She's standing much better," he said.

Sharon nodded and moved to sit down across from him on the chair in the corner of the room, "She is. I told you that she's starting to move along the furniture. I knew you would be surprised. Emily won't believe it. She's barely seen Hannah."

"I just," he said and closed his eyes briefly. He opened them, and Sharon thought she could almost see him tearing up, "I really, really appreciate you coming here. I hate seeing my dad so helpless. I haven't seen him in person in a few months, and he's deteriorated so much. It's hard to see. I didn't realize I would be emotional about everything, but you visiting, that's about put me over the top."

"I do understand that," Sharon gave him a sympathetic glance. Andy just looked at her, and their eyes met.

Hannah started to buck at Andy again, and he held her to his chest. Sharon stood, and Andy looked to her, the moment over, "Has she had her bottle?"

"No, that is what I was going to get ready? Would you like to feed her and put her down? I could freshen up," she offered.

"I'd love to feed her. Don't freshen up on my account. Why don't we just sit here and enjoy her together a few minutes?" Andy asked.

Sharon met his gaze, and she then just nodded, "Okay."

A half hour later, Hannah was in bed, and Sharon looked to Andy as he stood from kissing Hannah goodnight. She gestured to the only real place to sit, the king-sized bed, "Ahh, do you want to sit here and talk while she's trying to sleep? I don't have any other place to sit."

"Of course," he said. "Mind if I stretch out? Between the plane and the chairs at the hospital, I am ready to crash."

"Only if I can do the same," she gave him a soft smile. Andy kicked off his shoes and sat down on the side of the bed before he leaned back and groaned. Sharon, who was still in her leggings and old shirt, did the same. The two rolled toward each other to talk.

"I'm still trying to process all of this, that you are here," he said. "I wanted to get over here before Hannah went to sleep, and my dad fell back asleep before I left. They said after his surgery, he would most likely sleep awhile. Anyway, Angela went home, Dad was asleep, and it seemed silly for me to sit in a chair there when I knew you both were here."

"Like I said," she sighed, "I just thought you could use the support."

"So," he said looking at her, his eyes locking on hers. The two had their hands resting under their heads and were just there looking at each other. "I wondered if while you were here, Hannah could meet my sister and my dad? I don't expect anything from you. You didn't ask to be part of this, to be roped into my family, but I would like to have her meet them if there is a day and time I could do that. It would mean a lot to me. I've told Angela everything. She knows I walked away from Hannah. I've not told my dad, mostly because I know he will judge me for being a crappy father again, but I need to come clean with him. He deserves to know he has another granddaughter, even if she's not legally my daughter."

Sharon bit her lip and looked into Andy's eyes. She smiled softly at him, a smile that could be seen even in the dim light, "To tell you the truth, one of the reasons I came here with Hannah was for just that, to meet your family, if you want. I hate that my mom died without knowing everything, without even meeting you. It haunts me. I would change it if I could. My mom deserved to know the story, to know you. I would like Hannah to meet your family if that's what you want. She does deserve it as you pointed out, just as they deserve to know her. It really shocked me to know your sister is so excited about her. I don't have siblings, so in a way, I can't understand that, but I do think it's very sweet. Yes, I think she should meet them."

"Thank you," he said quietly. She heard him let out a long sigh.

"What are you going to tell your dad?" Sharon asked.

"The truth," he said and continued, "all of it. I mean, with Hannah in my arms, it's hard to deny anything. He's always been hard on me. I mean, I love him; he's my dad, but I'm the drunk. He has told me that I messed up a good thing. He reminds me often that his grandkids don't have much of a relationship with him because I blew it with my family. He's just old school, but the truth is the truth. I'm sure I'll get a lecture on what a dirt bag I am for legally giving away Hannah, you know, not taking on her as my daughter, but what has happened can't be changed."

"I would like to meet them too," Sharon told him. His eyes widened, and she continued, "Look, I'm not going to force the issue, but if they meet her, I think they should meet me too, don't you?"

"Sharon, you don't need to do that. I've made the mess here," he told her.

"I came to support, to help. If that would help, putting a name to a face, I'll go with you. It takes two to tango; I'm aware of that, so if you want, I'll meet them. I've dealt with worse at the LAPD," she gave a low chuckle. "You met my dad."

"You really are surprising me tonight," he said. "I'm, I'm speechless. Thank you," he told her.

Sharon lifted her hand from under her head and put it over on Andy's head, running it over his hair. She shifted closer to him and kissed him lightly, "You're welcome. I'm here for whatever you need. I know how much you helped me when Mom died." She kissed him again, lightly, but with more intensity. Andy shifted to put his hand on her waist, and the two continued to kiss. Their legs tangled as they kissed, and just as they were starting to get more involved, Hannah let out a loud noise, almost a yell. The two froze, waiting for her to make another sound.

"What was that?" Andy said, kissing her head and pulling back slightly, his hand cupping her face.

Sharon started to laugh quietly, "I think she's dreaming. I am not sure. She's done that a couple times this last week. It's really funny. She lets out this single yell and goes back to sleep. I think she's sleeping again."

"Either that, or she's telling us she's impressionable," he said quietly.

"Let me check on her," Sharon said, pulling herself from their intertwined arms and legs. She leaned in and kissed Andy quickly again. He pulled her in for another kiss, and when they broke apart, she said it again, "I'll check on Hannah."

Sharon quickly checked on Hannah and then moved back to the bed. She saw a light blanket on the end of the bed and pulled it up, looking to Andy to see if he wanted to share it. He nodded, and the two settled under it, looking at each other again. While they'd enjoyed their hint of passion, the moment has passed, not that it wouldn't present itself again.

"Tell me about your dad," Sharon said, looking at him. "I don't know much about him."

"Okay," Andy nodded, tugging on her waist to pull her closer. "I can explain better if you are closer," he teased. Sharon didn't say anything, but she let Andy wrap his arms around her. "Where should I start?"

"Start with memories of your dad," Sharon encouraged. "We can talk awhile tonight and figure out the plan for the week before you go home."

"Well, I can honestly say if someone had asked my plan for the week a few hours ago, it would not have included an incredibly sexy woman almost on top of me right now," he said. Sharon froze, and he just ran his hand up her side. "Since that's all you asked, for stories of my dad, let me get started."

Several hours later, Sharon shifted, only to freeze in her spot. Andy's arm was wrapped around her, and it was obvious they had been sleeping for quite some time. She listened to the silence of the room, shaking her head at the small snoring sounds she could now hear coming from Hannah and also Andy. His arm was on her hip. They'd fallen asleep talking. That had never happened. The two had only slept together when more had been involved, and really, usually, she'd sent him home. Only recently, had he actually fallen asleep in her bed after they'd finished. When the two had first started with their arrangement, she hadn't wanted him around after, wanting her own space. She didn't want to form any sort of an attachment; it was an arrangement, nothing more. Things were slightly different when she'd invited him to stay at the hotel on Christmas right when Hannah had been conceived, but even then, the two had barely spoken. Sleep had come only from their exhaustion. As things had changed with Hannah in the picture, Andy had tried keeping her in his bed. She'd tried to bolt out of bed each time; she'd tried to avoid talking to him, and even that had been awkward. Tonight, he'd stayed with her, and it had been different than every other time. Yes, they'd kissed a little, but that had stopped with Hannah's little shout out earlier in the night. Somewhere along the way, while the two were talking, they had both fallen asleep, fully clothed, and she was just waking up now. He hadn't gone home. He was supposed to be staying with his sister. His bag, which he'd pulled into the room when he'd arrived, was still with him. He'd gone from the airport to the hospital to Sharon's room, to Sharon's bed, and he was now sleeping peacefully beside her. Sharon glanced at the clock, shifting slightly as she did so. It was 4:45. She was hungry, and it dawned on her she hadn't eaten her room service dinner. She was hot too, noting that Andy was like a furnace. It didn't help she had her regular clothes on too, as did he, but she really didn't like being hot and hungry, in a bed, next to Andy. She needed to move quickly.

Sharon started to shift, and as she did, Andy wrapped his arm around her waist and moved slightly toward her. Her back was to him, and soon, his head was resting on her long hair. He kissed her neck. Okay, so he was slightly awake, even if not fully aware of what was going on too. Sharon shifted, turning toward him since it appeared he was half awake.

"We fell asleep," she said in a very low voice. She started to run her arm up his, still not sure what she really thought about sleeping next to him. It was odd. She felt rested even though she hadn't slept that long. She felt awkward, but at the same time, she felt maybe even safe. Andy moved his hand slightly and rested it on her hip as her hand moved to his hair. He ran his thumb over her hip. "You didn't go home last night."

"Too tired," he grumbled. "Content right here."

Sharon let out a low chuckle, and then, she leaned in to kiss him. He reciprocated and pulled at her hip, where he had his hand. Sharon kissed him again, shifting slightly so she was on top of him. He put his arms around her. "Sleeping is overrated," she whispered and continued to kiss him. "This, being with you, helped me when my mom died. I just want to help you the same way." The two started to kiss and continued to lazily kiss for a few minutes. Andy's phone ringing had Sharon almost jump, but instead of jumping, she kneed him in the groin. He doubled over in pain and let out a loud cry as he tried to fumble around for his phone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Who calls at, what 5:00?"

"Could be the hospital," he said as he fumbled around. "Hello?" he said, coughing as he answered. His voice sounded terrible partly because he was still in pain from where Sharon had kneed him.

"Angela?" he said. "Sorry, I didn't even look at the name or number. What time is it?"

Sharon tried to listen as she moved back to her side of the bed. She couldn't believe they had been interrupted again. She needed Andy and knew she could help him relieve some stress too. Hearing it was his sister, she was worried something had happened and quietly listened as he continued his call.

"No, I'm not at the hospital, and I'm sorry I scared you that I didn't come home," he said, almost slurring his words. He was still trying to wake up. He'd had Sharon on top of him, had been kneed in the groin, and now, he had his worried sister wondering where he was. "No, I'm not drunk, but yeah," he sighed, "I'm at a hotel. I'm fine. Look, just, listen, just come by here say at 7? You can get me, and we can go back to the hospital. No, I'm not hung over! I didn't fall off the wagon, okay? I'll text you the details. Sharon coughed, and she froze, aware that it was loud and could probably be heard on the phone. Andy continued with his call, "Fine, see you then," he said and hung up the phone.

Sharon sat up and looked at Andy in the dim light. She hadn't turned off the bathroom light, and with the door partially open, she could just see him.

"You are so gorgeous," he said, letting out a long sigh. "You, your hair like that," he said. "It just, well," he sighed.

"It's dark, and you are half asleep, not to mention injured," she said, moving back toward him. She rested herself halfway on him, "My hair is a disaster. I'm sorry I kicked you."

"Little out of commission right now," he told her. "That was my sister. She's up for the day already, doesn't sleep well, and she panicked when I wasn't there. She first thought I was at the hospital sleeping there next to Dad. Then, she said I sounded off, which I did because I was trying to get over the pain from being kicked, and she thought I was drunk and in bed with a random woman. I told her neither was true, but I'm pretty sure she heard you coughing." Sharon lifted her head at him, and he shrugged, "You're not random. I don't do random anymore."

He leaned up and kissed Sharon as he pulled her closer to him. His hands started to move up under her shirt, and as things were starting to get heated, the two froze again when they heard Hannah start to babble.

"This isn't going to happen," Sharon said with a defeated sigh. "I needed this to happen." She kissed Andy's neck, "I wanted to do something to help you relax."

"I appreciate it," he said. "I am still in recovery," he chuckled before kissing her lazily. "As much as I want to say this doesn't need to happen on this trip, I'm only kidding myself," he admitted. "Sharon, being with you, it's all I seem to think about anymore."

Hannah made a couple of loud sounds, demanding attention. Sharon looked into Andy's eyes, something still hard to do in the dim light, and she said, "I look at her, and all I see is you," she gave a small shrug. "Then, I start thinking about our times together, and I can't get those times off my mind. Last night, I expected more of the same and for you to then go home. I haven't envisioned waking up next to you like this, which might sound odd. I don't know what to think."

Andy listened, running his arm up hers as she spoke, and then, he said, "Don't know what to think, as in you are changing your mind about meeting my family? I told you that I will take Hannah alone."

"No, it's not that," she shook her head. She pursed her lips, trying to put words to her feelings, "When I was in LA recently, you asked me to stay with you in your room that last night."

"Yeah," Andy said, nodding. Hannah started to make more noise, and Sharon shook her head. "I mean, you aren't just some one-night stand, but you tried to run off that next morning without talking about our night."

"I realize we aren't going to have some long conversation now because she's waking up, but something has changed with our chemistry. I'm not sure if we just know what the other needs and wants better because we've been sleeping together awhile now, but something has changed. Nothing happened last night, which normally would frustrate me to no end," she let out a low chuckle, "but I am content this morning. We were here in this king-sized bed, but I woke up with your arms wrapped around me, our legs tangled together, and nothing happened. I'm not sure why, not that I'm letting you off the hook for the weekend. I still plan to get you back into my bed at some point. We both need this Andy, but something is different. I've always wanted you out of my bed as quickly as possible, but this morning," she shook her head. "I don't know, but I don't mind you being here. Maybe I just am seeing how you are with Hannah."

He stilled his hand movements and looked at her. Hannah was making noise, but somehow, the two just stared at each other, there with Sharon still close to Andy. He finally sighed, "I want everything from this trip, Sharon, everything, whatever that is. I want to spend time with Hannah. I want my family to meet her, to learn everything about her-how she came into this world, all of that. I want you to meet them and am really surprised, happily surprised, you are willing to meet them. I want to be with you and Hannah. I have so much on my plate, decisions with my dad, but all I can think about is you and Hannah. I want you. It's torture thinking of you, going over the memories of us together, pure torture. I feel like we are in some gray area here, with me still being the guy sleeping with my kid's mom when I see her. I've told you that's not what I want to be, not for the long haul. I get that she's young and has no clue we were almost undressed over here, just a few feet from her, but I can't be that guy. I also can't resist you, not for long. I keep trying, and that isn't working well. We always end up in bed. Yeah, something has changed. This trip, I know more is going to change, and by that, I mean by telling my family about you and Hannah. Still, even with all the emotions of that, telling my family about the mess I made with you and Hannah, I still keep thinking about you. I can't resist you. I want to be back here in this bed with you. I do. I think we both agree on that. For now, though, we have my sister coming here at 7:00. She has no clue she's about to meet Hannah. I want nothing more for you to meet her too, so let's put our desire on hold for now. I've got a lot to do. I've got to deal with my sister, my dad, all when I just want to stay right here, with you in my arms all day. You have your day too. You came here for me, yes, but you also have another daughter her. Go see her. Enjoy her. Let's take one day at a time here, and hopefully, we can find some time to be together before you go home."

Sharon listened, nodding as he spoke. She ran her hand up his chest, and she pulled herself closer to him, whispering, "I came here to help in any way I could. I'm okay with meeting your family, having Hannah meet your family. You want me?" she looked at him and waited for him to nod. "For months now, you've been there for me, and that is the least I can do for you."


	59. Chapter 59

Andy thought it was amazing how the body could heal, both physically and mentally. He saw it often in his line of work, people mangled from gun shot wounds who made dramatic recoveries. He saw it with other injuries too, and here, he was watching his dad. The hospital was going to try and release him Thursday morning, to rehab, of course, but they wanted him out. He understood it. Aside from the hip issue, his dad was healthy, and a hospital full of sick people wasn't the best place to hang out long term. It just amazed him that his dad would be up and walking again on his hip. He glanced over and smiled softly; to do amazing things like that, the body needed rest, and he was seeing that with his dad right now. His dad had been sleeping for quite some time, and from what the doctors had said, they thought he might do a lot of that on and off all day. It was fine. Andy had a lot on his mind. He'd had a huge weight lifted earlier at breakfast too. He'd finally introduced Angela to Sharon and Hannah. That had gone well; he was thankful for that, but he still had another hurdle, one that he knew was a big one. He needed to tell his dad, really brace his dad for the news that he had another granddaughter. Andy had a feeling that conversation wouldn't go as well as breakfast had. His sister was great, even more of an amazing person than he really knew. She'd embraced Sharon and had been kind, delighted to see her newest niece. Andy sat back in his chair to just relax a moment, and his mind trailed back to breakfast.

 _Their early morning had gone well as he, Sharon, and Hannah got ready for the day. Andy volunteered to sit with Hannah while she had her bottle, so Sharon could take a shower. That had been hard, to know she was in the shower just on the other side of the door, but he'd kept his cool. Having Hannah there as a distraction had been the best thing for him. She just amazed him, and when she finished her bottle, she was happy to show off her standing skills for her dad. Andy looked up when Sharon stepped out of the bathroom, Hannah directly in front of him, trying to stand and shuffle along the side of the bed. He flashed a smile at Sharon._

 _"_ _She's changing so fast," he said. "I know she was tired last night, but she's going to be walking soon on her own. I can't believe she is already nine and a half months old," he shook his head._

 _"_ _I know," Sharon paused at her bag, a light sundress on for the day. Andy eyed it while she was turned away, a very summery looking dress with a slight ruffle along the bottom and at the edge of the sleeves. The sleeves just covered her shoulders. He never imagined her wearing anything like it for work, and it was a welcome sight to see her in something so feminine. It made her look even more beautiful to him, but he wanted to be careful what he said. He loved the light blue color with a slight floral pattern to it. Clearly, she was looking forward to a day out and about in New York._

 _"_ _You look really beautiful," he told her and quickly looked down at Hannah. He tried to catch her eye, his gaze looking up at her a few times. He saw her pause at her bag, and then, she finally turned to him, her makeup bag in hand._

 _She rolled her eyes slightly and gestured to him, "You don't have to try so hard. I will sleep with you anyway. I tried earlier," she smirked. "Anyway," she held up the bag, "this is what makes me look human, the makeup that will cover the mess of my face."_

 _"_ _Nah," he said, picking up Hannah and standing her on his legs, "I like what I see. I didn't say it to get you back into bed, at least not now. You do look really beautiful. I'll say it again. The dress looks great on you. Is it new?"_

 _She frowned as she smoothed down the dress, "Yes, like most of my wardrobe, it is new. I can't fit into a lot of things pre-Hannah. I told you I can't lose that weight."_

 _Andy stood with a giggling Hannah. He stepped toward her, Hannah in his arms, "Well, we both thank you for the sacrifice. I don't see it at all. I obviously love your body. Hannah appreciates you bringing her into this world. She told me she was glad we made her."_

 _Sharon looked to him horrified and shook her head, "I dread the day I have to explain my indiscretion."_

 _Andy stepped closer and put his hand on Sharon's elbow, standing there with Hannah in his arms too. He looked at Sharon, a teasing look in his eye, "I'll explain it. I'll tell her that her mom was on the prowl, and I was happy to be her sleepover friend. I'll tell her sleepovers can make babies. That should get her terrified of sleepovers."_

 _Sharon scowled and stepped back, "That, exactly that, is why I told you I am happy to raise her alone. I don't see this as a comical moment, a laughing matter." She was irritated now, and Andy sighed, realizing he had only been teasing, but Sharon had taken it a different way._

 _"_ _Sharon," he touched her again, and he moved his arm to her waist. She turned back around from where she had been messing with her bag and looked at him. He ran his thumb over her waist, I'm sorry. I was only teasing. We have a long time to figure out what to tell her. We," he repeated and again, when their eyes met, he said, "We. This is something you and I did together, and I'm reassuring you once again, I'm here. You do look really beautiful. I am very nervous, but excited for you to meet my sister. We have about a half hour or so before we need to go downstairs to breakfast. Do you mind if I shower? I've got my bag here, and I have really been enjoying this quiet time, the three of us."_

 _Sharon pursed her lips, and Hannah started to buck on Andy's arm. She looked to Hannah, and Andy did too. He and Hannah grinned at each other, and Sharon rolled her eyes, "That smile again. I don't know how you don't see it with her." Andy turned his head to look at a grinning Hannah. He shook his head._

 _"_ _I see a gorgeous smile, and I instantly think of you," he looked back at her and stepped just a small step closer to kiss her sweetly. Sharon was actually a bit surprised at the tender gesture, but she returned the kiss, much more intensity in her return. Andy pulled back, their lips almost smacking as he did._

 _"_ _Sorry," he gave her a slight frown, "but I know the heat in that kiss. I don't have time for what you want from that kiss," he nodded to the bed. "I know there's still a huge gray area here, but I want to kiss you some, without it instantly having us fall into bed, tearing off our clothing. Sometimes, I just want to kiss you."_

 _Sharon listened; he knew that, but she didn't answer. Instead, Hannah started bucking again, and she turned to her and smiled. "Come here, Sweetheart. Let's give Andy time to get his shower for the day." She took Hannah from his arms, and he, still with his one hand on her waist, pulled toward her and kissed her head while she situated Hannah. He stepped away to walk to the bathroom, giving Sharon her own quiet time._

Andy looked over, here at the hospital and checked on his dad. He was still sleeping. Andy shifted in his seat and returned to his thoughts.

 _Sharon called him out on being nervous in the elevator; he hadn't even realized it, as the three rode downstairs to breakfast. Hannah had on a very sweet lime green little shorts one-piece romper. It had strawberries on the cuff of the leg and arms. He loved the color on her with her dark hair, and he had helped Sharon comb her wild hair. Now that it was getting longer, it was a mess in the mornings, as it had been this morning. Her hair was now down off the back of her neck. He loved imaging her with long hair as a toddler, beautiful dark, almost black hair. That looked like Nicole to him, her dark hair, and it always made him laugh when Sharon mentioned she didn't know how to handle babies with hair. As they stood in the elevator, he continued to stare at Hannah in Sharon's arms, and Sharon finally said something._

 _"_ _You're nervous," she stated._

 _He looked up and met her gaze. Her makeup was perfect, and while he'd been serious in that he didn't need to see her in makeup, she really looked gorgeous right now. He couldn't take his eyes off her mauve lipstick. He felt like that was a new color, but he didn't want to ask right now. He just wanted to stare at it and dream about that lipstick on his lips, face-everywhere. He loved the feeling of Sharon kissing him and was realizing more and more he was falling deeper and deeper for her. He raised his eyebrow, "I'm not nervous."_

 _"_ _Right," she pursed her lips and nodded. "Your sister is meeting Hannah."_

 _"_ _Okay, maybe I'm nervous, but I'm not trying to be nervous. She knows about Hannah. She's excited to meet her, her niece. Wait, it's not a problem is it, if she is that, Hannah's aunt. Look, I've told you my signing those papers was such a mess, but please, don't hold this against my family."_

 _Sharon started to speak, paused, and then, she shook her head, as she looked down at the floor. When she looked up, he was still looking at her. She sighed and shook her head, "She's her aunt. I realize that, the biology of everything."_

 _"_ _Thanks," he gave a soft smile and then reached to tickle Hannah. "I hope it's okay with my dad, too, you know, that she's his granddaughter. Look, I know you can sometimes barely utter my name, and to her-Hanna, I mean, I'm just Andy if I'm lucky-maybe even called dirt bag, pig, the stupid cop who knocked you up, the dumb idiot, your business trip quickie, the deadbeat dad-among other things," he stated and nodded, "but it means a lot if they can be what they truly are, her aunt and grandfather."_

 _Sharon stared at him horrified at the list of names he'd ticked off as he'd spoken to her. She started to respond, but the doors to the elevator opened, and he gestured for them to step out into the lobby area. The lobby was busy, and she just looked up at him, "I'm not trying to hold a grudge with anyone."_

 _Andy just nodded and walked beside her as they made their way to the restaurant. He had the diaper bag on his shoulder, "Hi, table for four please. Can we get a high chair for the munchkin?"_

Andy's dad coughed, and he sat up quickly, pulling himself from his memory. He glanced at his watch. He'd been here an hour now. Angela was over at the rehab center checking it out and filling out some insurance paperwork. They had discussed going together, but they'd decided to split up in case their dad was awake. So far, that wasn't the case, but Andy was glad for the time alone. His dad seemed to clear his throat, shift his head, and go back to sleep. It was like he hadn't slept in weeks, but Andy knew he needed his rest.

 _Sharon was in the middle of breaking up a pancake for Hannah, something Andy had ordered while they waited, when he stood up and looked to Sharon. "Angela is walking into the lobby. I'm going to go and get her. I'll be back," he gave her a nod. Sharon just returned the nod, and he walked away. Andy briefly glanced back and could see she was now staring at probably nothing, just staring and thinking. He figured she was trying to gather herself before meeting Angela. He stepped into the lobby and looked around, trying to find his sister._

 _It only took him a moment to wave her toward him. She walked at him, shaking her head and scowling. He gave her a slight shrug, but she spoke first, "I thought you weren't sleeping with anything that moved," she smacked at his arm with her hand. It was a friendly, sibling style swat, and he jumped back slightly._

 _"_ _Hey, I'm not," he said, now another frown._

 _"_ _Right," she rolled her eyes. "You have a FREE place to stay, a place with your sister at that, your sick sister," she pointed out, "and I have to wake up this morning, terrified you've been drinking all night and are in an alley somewhere. I call you and find out, that you claim not to be drinking, but I am not stupid and can clearly hear a cough in the background. You have me come to this hotel, a nice place," she nodded and looked around and continued, "really, summon me here to collect you after your night of passion," she rolled her eyes. "So, while you might be the detective, I'm not an idiot. Why oh why did you pick up some woman last night when Dad is in the hospital? Andy, I've been irritated the whole way here."_

 _"_ _Look, I'm sorry," he said, turning to face her squarely. He put his hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "It's not what you think."_

 _"_ _It's worse?" her eyes grew wide. "People in trouble always say that, and it's always worse! How is it worse?"_

 _"_ _Would you calm down, please?" Andy gave her a small smile. "I invited you here for breakfast, and yes, I need to explain. It's not something awful. It's actually a good thing, a very good thing," he smiled again. "Sharon's here. She brought Hannah."_

 _Angela's eyes widened, and she shook her head, trying to look beyond Andy as if she could see Sharon from there. She looked back at him, and he was nodding, "She's here? Why?"_

 _"_ _She is trying to help," he offered. "She cares even if she can't express that. I was supposed to see Hannah this weekend, and obviously, I'm here. She brought Hannah to me."_

 _Angela narrowed her gaze, "Andy, this trip then is about much more than missed time with Hannah. You do realize that?"_

 _"_ _I do," he nodded. "She may or may not," he rolled his eyes. "Look, it's progress, and for her, that's huge. Hannah is here," he smiled brightly. "Sharon agreed to meeting you, to having Hannah meet you."_

 _Angela listened, nodding as she did so. She smacked at Andy again, "Seriously? You slept with her last night? That's where you were? I thought you told me that you were trying to keep things peaceful, that you were trying to just focus on Hannah."_

 _"_ _Yeah," he sighed, "I was. I am," he corrected himself. "I keep trying. I can't resist her. I can't stay away; I care too much," he shook his head. "I just can't walk away, but for your information, nothing happened last night. We talked until we fell asleep. Promise," he told her._

 _"_ _Oh, I'm so excited," Angela clapped her hands together. "I can' believe Hannah is here. Wait, is Sharon going to be a total nut job with me?"_

"Mr. Flynn," Andy heard and snapped his attention to the door. He saw the nurse standing there, a chart in hand. He stood and walked toward her. "I'm sorry to bother you. You almost seemed to be dozing there, but your dad's vitals, everything looks good. He's exhausted. I just wanted you to know all the sleep, it's normal. We'll bring around the lunch trays soon, and if he sleeps through lunch, but is hungry later, just ask at the desk. We'll make sure he gets some food."

"Okay, thanks," Andy nodded. "Sorry, I didn't even notice you in the room. I've been traveling and am just worn out myself."

"Understandable," she smiled. "We will try to get him to physical therapy later today if he wakes up with some strength."

"Thanks," Andy nodded and gave her a slight wave as she stepped out of the room. He ran his hand over his face. He decided to splash some water on his face to wake up himself too. After doing that, he checked his phone. Andy didn't expect to hear from Sharon. She was spending the day with Emily. Breakfast had been easy; Emily worked late, and breakfast for her was around 11:00. Sharon had plans to meet up with Emily after Hannah's morning nap, and she was going to take her girls to lunch. From what Sharon said, they were planning to shop and spend the day together, and she had told him she'd touch base with him later. Neither were sure of the evening plans, whether he would stay with Sharon or Angela. As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around Sharon all night again, he had responsibilities here and wanted to help his sister. He had a feeling he'd be staying with his sister for the night, and he'd planned for that by bringing his suitcase back to the hospital with him. It was sitting in the corner of the room, directly across from him.

Andy moved back across the room and sat down, still looking at his phone. It was Wednesday. He knew Sharon would have plenty to do with Emily over the next few days, but he hoped he could see her again. The plan was to get his dad to rehab tomorrow, if the hospital released him as they planned. That would get him situated, and he would be there awhile before he could be sent back to his retirement center. The place he lived didn't have a full rehab center, something Andy needed to discuss with his sister about their dad's future. Dealing with aging parents was a taxing situation. Andy started to send Sharon a text, but he stopped, worried she would get it and have trouble explaining it with Emily right there. Instead, he glanced back at his dad. He almost jumped when he saw his dad looking back at him.

"You scared me," he said, putting his hand to his heart. "Last thing I need it to have a heart attack myself. How are you feeling?" he asked.

His dad frowned, "Heart attack-at least you're in the right place for one."

"Gee, thanks," Andy rolled his eyes. "Let's focus on that, the idea of me having a heart attack. Seems like you are back to normal."

"How do I feel? I feel like I've been hit by a car. My hip is killing me. What I need is a good, stiff shot of whiskey," he grumbled.

"You know you can't drink that crap right now," Andy frowned at him.

"Yes, well, at least not for the same reasons as you," he nodded to Andy. "I'm not the alcoholic."

"Well aware, Dad," Andy sighed and shook his head as he looked away. "Every time I see you, that comes up in the first few minutes. Are we going to discuss that now? I'm well aware I've been an alcoholic for years. That won't change, but I'm still sober. You can't have alcohol of any kind here in the hospital. Just rest and heal."

"I haven't heard from your kids," his dad said.

"I let them know you fell," Andy said. "Look, Dad, they barely speak to me. I don't know what you want me to do. They are adults. I would have hoped they would have called to check on you, but I can't make them. You know Sandra kept them from me as kids. That affects things now."

"All your doing," he grumbled.

"Okay," Andy smacked his hand on the table and turned to completely face his dad. "Let's just do this now. You awake for awhile? You feeling okay?"

"Awake, yes. I've been sleeping like a baby. Feeling okay? No, I told you I feel terrible. You just want to avoid the topic we should discuss, your drinking," his dad said.

"No, Dad. That's not to discuss. It's been handled, is handled every single day. That's my problem. I've owned up to it, but I don't need you checking on it every moment I'm around you, just as I can't check on my adult children every moment either. I'm going to just say this because it's been an elephant in the room for quite some time now, over a year, I've known this, and I've decided to tell you."

"Did you get fired from the LAPD for your actions?" his dad asked.

"No, would you just stop? Stop assuming I'm the biggest loser on the West Coast," he grumbled. "I do need to tell you about something, something big."

"Something big, that you've known about for a year, about right?" his dad asked, eyeing him. Andy could see the exhaustion in his dad's face. He knew the sharp tone was a combination of his dad's normal reaction and the pain he must be in as well.

"I'm just going to say it," Andy waved his hand. "I have another daughter. Her name is Hannah. I have been figuring out everything and wasn't sure how or when to tell you. This," he gestured to his dad, "is just a reminder life is short. I wanted you to know."

"You have another kid? What kind of low-life are you? Don't tell me you couldn't keep it in your pants when you were married to Sandra. Did you cheat on her? Is that why you two divorced? Daughter," he grumbled. "Why am I not surprised to hear you knocked up someone? How old is this Hannah?"

"This Hannah," Andy said, now mad, but trying to keep his cool, "is nine months old. This isn't some adult kid I just met. I've known about Hannah all along." Andy paused, not sure what more he wanted to admit now. He'd planned out what he was going to say, but now, it wasn't coming out at all like he'd planned. He had plans to explain signing away the paperwork, but now, sitting in front of his dad, a disappointment again to his dad, he just couldn't tell him everything.

"Wait," his dad shook his head, "wait a minute-you have a baby with some woman? Oh, great, so the next question is how old is the woman? She is young enough for you to knock her up, so what, is she 25 or 30? Blonde, big well," he gestured, "everything? Did you pick her up at a bar, or does she work one of them? If that's the case, is this even your kid? You have a way of sleeping with anyone who will give you a nod. Another kid," he sighed. "You did such a good job with the first two."

"Stop would you!" Andy exclaimed and stood. "This is hard enough. You really have no respect for me. Yeah, I'm completely aware I'm an idiot. I've messed up my life in so many ways. I've disappointed you. I'm divorced. You don't agree with that. I'm an alcoholic, and as you have said on many occasions and believe, I wasn't man enough to hold my alcohol," he gave his dad an irritated gaze and shook his head. "My kids, my adult kids," he pointed with his finger, "are a disappointment to you. They don't call or visit. Well, I have news for you; they do the same with me. Hannah is my daughter too. I'm telling you about her now, and I'm so proud of her. I'm absolutely in love with my daughter, and I will do anything I can to protect her until the day I die. I realize you have a laundry list of complaints about how I'm not married to her mother, about well, just about everything. You probably will complain about her clothing, and she's just a baby. Well, she's here, in town with her mother. Now," Andy turned to gauge his dad's reaction, and saw his dad was fine, sitting there, arms crossed, but fine. "Now, let's talk about Sharon because I won't let you talk about her like that. Yeah, that's her name. Sharon Raydor is Hannah's mother, and she is about as opposite to what you described as can be. Sharon is a retired police captain, so no, she's not 25. She's just a little younger than I am. Obviously, Hannah was a complete surprise, but I can't imagine life without her. Sharon and I were not dating," he said and looked to his father.

"Just gets better and better," his dad shook his head. "Let me guess-you're the hero, a sperm donor or something new age like that?"

"Nope," Andy flashed a grin. "Oh, here's where you can be nice and irritated with me," Andy smirked. "Nope, we had Hannah the old-fashioned way, just sleeping together for the fun of it. And no, before you ask, I wasn't sleeping with her as a promotion or something. We did not work in the same division at the LAPD; it was nothing like that. She and I were just in an arrangement, and I'm sure you don't get that either. Hey," he paused and flashed a fake smile, "be glad my sleeping around then was just with one woman, a committed, repeated one-night stand, Dad. So, Sharon got pregnant. Neither thought that could or would happen, but it did. Sharon retired from the LAPD, not because she's incapable of working and raising a kid, but because she's done that. She's been a single mom already and raised two kids, two grown kids who are successful adults. She didn't want to do that again, so she retired. She and Hannah now live in Flagstaff, Arizona where she teaches at the college there, criminal justice. She's smart, and honestly, I couldn't imagine a better mother for Hannah. We're working on arrangements to see Hannah, but I see her as much as I can. Hannah's wonderful, Dad," he gave him a genuine smile. "I know I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, and on the surface, it sounds like Hannah is one of them, but she's the best thing. Her little smile lights up the room. I just adore her. Nicole and Nathan, they had my same dedication, but as they've grown, they've decided they don't want me around. I'm convinced to make a difference with Hannah, to show her I can be a decent dad."

"A decent dad? You just told me she moved away from you with the baby," his dad gestured. "I'm listening to all this nonsense, and I hear that you don't even live in the same state as this love child of yours," he grunted. "She is teaching at a college? Yeah, that makes sense because there are no colleges in California, right? This sounds like another disaster you've created. Just what we all need-another kid, created by you, who will be raised by some woman you at one point, though was some great person."

"Sharon is a great person," Andy snapped back. "I'm not discussing Sandra. That was young and stupid. I've grown a lot, learned a lot. Sharon has her issues, yes. Everyone does, but she's a good mom. Part of the reason I'm telling you this now is that Sharon came to town." He looked to his dad, and his dad raised his eyebrows. "That's right," Andy nodded. "She came to town. Why, you ask?" Andy gestured. "She came to support me. I was supposed to see Hannah this weekend and had to cancel when you fell. I called Sharon to tell her I had to come here. She understood that, partly because her mother just died, and oh," Andy pointed to himself, "I was the decent guy who was there for Sharon then. She flew here, her own choice, to be with me, to support me, to help me, to help my family. Now, she's not only agreed Hannah should meet you, but she wants to meet you too."

Andy looked to his dad, a man he loved, but a man he'd clashed with over the years. They had an interesting dynamic. His dad sat there, his arms still crossed, and he looked back at Andy. Andy glanced to the floor and back to his dad. His dad uncrossed his arms and gestured with his free hand, "What's she look like, Hannah? I would hope you at least have a picture of this kid you brought into the world."

Andy smiled softly, the reaction from his dad not exactly what he expected, but at the same time, a typical one. The conversation was not over, not at all. Andy would be told he'd made a mistake again, bringing a child into the world, but for the moment, he'd won over his dad. His dad loved kids, always had. He had high expectations for his kids and grandkids and was direct when those expectations were not met. Andy dug out his phone and opened it to the newest picture of Hannah, one he'd taken that morning with Angela. He'd asked Sharon to take a picture of them, Hannah with Andy and her aunt. It was the first one he showed him, Hannah, in her sweet outfit, her teeth visible, and her hair sticking up already.

"Of course, I have pictures," Andy told him. "Hannah Marie Raydor," he told his dad as he handed his phone to him. His dad's eyes flew open at the mention of her name.

"Marie? You gave her the same middle name as Nicole?" he asked.

"Not my doing," Andy shook his head.

"Second problem I have," his dad started and continued, "your kid doesn't have your last name? What is it with all of you these days? Kid should have her father's last name, but of course, kid should have been conceived in marriage too. What do I know?"

"That's right," Andy nodded. "What do you know? Right now, be glad you know about her and her name. There's no discussion about her name. It is what it is. I'm glad to be in her life at all. You have no idea."

His dad studied the picture and looked up again, "Angela knows?"

"She met Hannah this morning," Andy said, not addressing more. "I'd like you to meet her, to meet Sharon, when you get to rehab."

"She looks like Angela," his dad said, handing the phone back to Andy.

Andy chuckled slightly as he sat back down, their confrontation over for the moment, "Yeah, that's exactly what Sharon said this morning."

After Andy showed his dad how to view more pictures of Hannah on his phone, he sat back in his chair, exhausted himself from the conversation the two had just had. He knew telling his dad would be rough, and yet, they'd gotten through it. His dad wouldn't admit it right now, but Andy knew he was loving all the pictures of Hannah.

"She the mother?" Andy asked and looked over to a picture on his phone. It was one of his favorites of Sharon, and he didn't have a lot of pictures of her now, yet. He wanted more, but she was always telling him to focus on Hannah. This picture, he'd caught Sharon sitting on the beach blanket they had brought along to the beach. She was sitting there, with Hannah in her arms, her arms up as if she had Hannah up in the air. The picture was great of the two of them, both Hannah and Sharon laughing. Andy nodded at his dad.

"Yes, that's Sharon," he said. "I took that last month." Andy smiled at the picture, and he looked up at his dad when his dad pulled the phone back to his view.

"You're sleeping with the mother still, aren't you? I can see it on your face. What is the status there? You two just using each other, pretending your little play time can still happen even though you messed up and made some kid?" his dad said, irritated at him.

"First," Andy pointed to his dad, "never ever say Hannah is a mistake. She was a surprise, yes, but someone that wonderful is no mistake. What does it matter to you about my life? You think it's a mess anyway. Unless I'm married to Sandra as the perfect husband, nothing is what you want from me."

"You're sleeping with her," he shook his head. "Slept your way through California, and even this one had to move to get some distance. What's her deal? You said a single mom, so does she just hook men with children, no intention to marry them?"

"Stop about Sharon!" Andy exclaimed and stood again, pacing around the room. "You just can't see I'm trying. I have a good job. I'm a respected police detective, a lieutenant. Sharon is a captain, now a retired one. She was married, longer than I was. Her husband up and walked out on her. That's right," he nodded. "Sandra threw me out. Remember that. I never walked out. Sure, I know, I drank, but Sharon, she had it even worse. Her ex was a drunk, a mean drunk, and he walked out repeatedly and left her with two small children. LEFT. He hasn't come back, or sure," he nodded and continued, "he did for more money, but that's been it. Sharon is so strong. She's been trashed in her personal life, it's a wonder she can be a level-headed parent and member of society. She's got her own issues, but she's amazing. She's the great one, and she's giving me a chance now. That makes her wonderful, and I will not have you trash her because you know nothing about her. She came here. She did. I didn't beg her or drag her here. She came here for me, for Hannah. I know you are my dad, but you are not going to be rude to her. I care too much about her. As for our personal lives, stay out. I get it that you wanted me to have a marriage and life like yours. It didn't happen. That's not the only way to be happy. Sure, I've been unhappy a long time, but I'm happy again, more than I can remember being in a very long time. Just, please, stay out."

His dad frowned, but then he spoke again, "You care about this woman," he nodded to Andy. "You are defensive; you care. You'd better not be messing around on this woman," he frowned again. "You're playing with fire, really, as you play around with this woman. You want your kid around, you'd better not play with fire. You'd better watch yourself, or you're going to end up with three kids, from two different women, none of whom-the women or the kids-can stand you. That," he pointed to Andy, "would be all your own fault."

"Dad," Andy put his arms on his hips and looked to his dad, "I'm doing everything in my power to fix my life before it is completely in the toilet. All I want you to do is meet your granddaughter and the woman who is a package deal with your granddaughter. Leave the relationship mess to me."


	60. Chapter 60

"You free to talk?" Andy texted Sharon and waited for a reply. His sister was taking a long shower after their long day, and he was watching a baseball game on tv in her living room. He checked his phone, waiting for a reply, but he didn't get one right away. He put the phone down and tried to focus on the game.

He quickly grabbed his phone when his text message went off a couple minutes later, "Are you watching this mess? Pitiful. Only thing worse is watching alone." Andy chuckled at the message and started to reply to Provenza.

"I'm watching. Looks like I should head to bed. Game is going like things with my dad did-crappy," he said.

"How's your old man?" Provenza asked.

"Old, stubborn, rude-the usual," Andy typed. He paused a moment, "Visit is a reminder why I don't come home more. Nothing I do is good enough. Whatever. I dropped everything to come and check on him, but that isn't enough. Glad to see my sister. Other developments I'll tell you about when I return. Overall, trip is interesting. If you are at my house watching the game, clean up, take out the trash from your pizza, and replace any food. Night."

Andy didn't hear anything more from Provenza and turned his attention back to the game. It was late, after 11:00, but he was stuck somewhere between West Coast and East Coast time. He was tired, but he knew he wasn't ready for sleep yet. Angela was tired too, but she'd been telling him for months she didn't sleep well anymore. He understood, in a way, not that he knew what it was like to have cancer, but he understood being exhausted and still not being able to sleep. The game was getting worse; he really should go up and go to bed. He'd slept well last night, next to Sharon. That had been amazing, a dream come true for him, sleeping in the same room as Sharon and their daughter. He had cherished that time, and he secretly loved that she couldn't get up and run out on things. She'd had to face him that morning, and she'd survived. That part of the day had been great. Dealing with his dad had been typical, difficult, and just unpleasant. He groaned when, on the screen, the Dodgers gave up a two-run homerun.

He almost jumped again when his phone alerted him to a text. He really didn't want to do a play by play with Provenza tonight. Most nights he didn't mind, but he was just tapped out tonight, done, exhausted. He smiled slightly when he saw it wasn't Provenza, but it was Sharon.

"Sorry, I can't talk. Emily is here in the hotel room with me tonight. She was off today/tonight, and we have had a wonderful day. I know she's going to go home eventually, but we've just enjoyed talking this evening. She's using the restroom, so I don't have a lot of time," she told him.

Andy just nodded, happy Sharon was getting to spend time with her girls. He typed, "Glad you had a good day. I'll touch base with you tomorrow. Wanted to check on your plans for tomorrow evening. My dad should be in rehab if you and Hannah are free."

He saw her start typing immediately, "Tomorrow night, Emily surprised me with a ticket to her ballet. I had planned to go at some point, but she not only surprised me with that, but her close friend has volunteered to watch Hannah tomorrow night at Emily's place, so I can go to the ballet. I'm sorry. Maybe we can make it work for Friday?"

Andy frowned and thought a moment, trying to figure out what would work best. He would have watched Hannah; Angela would have enjoyed it too, but that would have involved explaining much more to Emily. He knew Sharon didn't want to do that, and so, he let that go. He got an idea.

"Crazy idea-tell me if I'm overstepping. Could I go to the ballet? I'd really like to see your daughter dance. I'm not suggesting anything. I'd buy my own ticket, and I would sit alone. I would enjoy it, just knowing who she is and that you are there too. Maybe after, if you aren't busy with Emily, we could meet up? If it's too much, let me know," he typed.

He saw Sharon start to type, and then she stopped. He waited, and as he did, he looked at the screen. He groaned. Somehow, he'd missed the Dodgers giving up another run. He turned back to see a message pop up at that very second.

"I can't tell Emily about this now. I don't mind if you come. I feel badly asking you to sit alone, but I also can't stop you from coming. I'm not sure what she has planned after, but often, she's exhausted and wants to go home. I can talk to her and get an idea. Let me know what you decide. Tickets are not cheap, but some should still be available since it's a Thursday evening production," she told him.

"I'll be there," he replied quickly.

"Smiling with a score like that," he heard, and his head snapped up to see his sister walking into the room, a glass of water in her hand as she sat down in her favorite chair. "You're talking to someone," she pointed at him, "and I have a pretty good idea the person."

Andy rolled his eyes and turned back to his text again to finish, "Cost isn't an issue. I'm looking forward to it already. I'll buy my ticket and talk to you tomorrow."

Andy put his phone down and turned his attention back to his sister and found her eyeing him. He rolled his eyes and raised his hand in defense, "Sharon, okay? I was checking in with her, about Hannah, about tomorrow."

"Mmm, I'm sure that was all," she shook her head. "I tried not to like her today, but I do like her. I know she has put you through a lot this last year. She's strong. I can tell she's independent and used to taking care of herself all the time. You can also tell she's been burned badly."

"Yeah, that's almost an understatement," he sighed. "I'm just trying not to look like another typical guy-at least typical in how she sees them. She sees men in her life as being deadbeats, disappointments," he explained. "I'm trying to change that."

Angela turned to get comfortable as she spoke to Andy. She gave him a small smile, "Andy, it's so obvious you care about her, that you maybe even love her."

Andy looked at her, the silence speaking for him. He finally ran his hand over his face and let out a long sigh, "What should I say? I mean, yeah, I do. All the crap she's put me through, I should hate her, should want to do anything to get back at her-if that's even the right reaction. I should want to play tug of war with Hannah. I don't want any of that. I just want to protect her, but I could never tell her that; she'd go off on me about that. She's feisty and determined. I really like that. The qualities about her that make her so rigid and distant are attractive to me in some sick, twisted way. Yet, underneath, I see little glimpses of the real Sharon, the woman who was before she was burned by her ex. I see the woman who just wanted to have a good marriage, a good family, and a good career. So much got in her way. Her ex destroyed a lot of that, and yet, she's not only a fighter, but a survivor. I do care, Angela, more than I can probably express right now, more than Sharon can even take."

"Andy, I worry about you. I know I shouldn't. Hannah is just adorable. What are you going to do if this backfires?" she asked.

He closed his eyes briefly, "I can't think like that. I just can't. I don't believe it will backfire. I'm trying to handle this with care. Sharon and I are drawn to each other. I already know that; she's starting to figure it out. I know I've messed up before, but I want to get it right now. For years, any beautiful woman would get my attention-and more," he frowned and shook his head. "I suppose Dad is right to be ashamed of my behavior, ashamed of the guy I was for a long time. I'm working so hard to change. Crazy that a surprise like Hannah, something that has rocked my world and Sharon's too, is maybe what I need to ground myself, maybe the best thing to ever happen."

"Just try not to confuse lust with love," Angela offered. "That's where I fear you are, Sharon too. I saw how she looked at you, like she wanted to drag you up to her room. I'm worried she sees only lust, you too."

"I'm not; I mean, I am," he sighed, trying to explain. "I was, but I'm not. What I'm trying to say is that I was just lusting after her for a really long time. Something changed," he shook his head. "I can't explain it, but it's not lust now. I am so attracted to her-don't misunderstand that, but it's not lust anymore. It's more than that."

"Sharon?" she asked, eyeing him.

"She's much slower on this. It's not like we have specifically discussed this, but she's slower to the realization, but I think she's realizing it. I know we need to talk more. I just am a little worried about addressing it."

"Well, several things," she frowned. "I have been listening to you. First, Dad isn't right to be ashamed of you. He is your dad, our dad, and he should be proud of you for the successes you have had in your life. I know you are turning things around, have been for awhile. Dad isn't someone you can change, but do not let yourself be judged solely by him. I'm proud of you. Even with Hannah, you are desperately trying to right some wrongs and be a good father to her. That's admirable. You could have walked away; Sharon almost encouraged that, but I'm proud you are doing what you are doing. Second, I can see you love her. I understand lust has turned to love, which is actually rare. It's rare because often, it doesn't work out in the long run. I know you are trying, but what about Sharon? Third, if you are so worried about ruining a relationship by talking about just that, is there really a relationship there? I get that you two haven't had solid footing, but you need a good foundation if you are going to build a future. Talk about that. I believe it's better to rip off the band-aid now rather than maybe being strung along to be completely destroyed later."

"I'm hearing you," Andy gave her a small smile.

"I just want you to be happy, Andy," she smiled at him. "Meeting Sharon helped a lot. I could see your facial expressions with her. You do love her. While I don't know her that well, I could see the sparkle in her eye around you and Hannah. She might argue it's all Hannah, but I believe she's coming around as you were saying. Don't give up, but at the same time, don't just let this go on and on without any clarity indefinitely. It's not good for any of your relationships-Sharon, Hannah, and even your families."

Andy's phone alerted him to another text. He looked at Angela, and she gave him a small smile. He glanced at it and then to her, "Speaking of," he held up his phone.

"I am going to go to bed and let you two talk, if texting back and forth is talking," she said. "Get some sleep. "We're going over to check on the details at the rehab center in the morning, correct?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "We can get everything squared away there. Ahh, tomorrow evening, I'm going to the ballet-alone," he said quickly as he looked to Angela. "I mean, do you want to go? Sharon's daughter is dancing, and she's going to be there with a ticket from her daughter. I'm hoping to catch up with Sharon after."

"Thank you for the offer, but I think after we get Dad settled tomorrow and all, I'm going to just come home. You'll be okay alone at the ballet?" she asked.

"I'm actually looking forward to it, not the alone part, exactly, but the ballet," he shrugged. "I feel like anything that helps me understand Sharon more is useful. I'll text her back, order my ticket, and then, I'll head to bed."

"Get some sleep," she nodded to him as she stood. "Sounds like you have a long night tomorrow." Andy looked up at her as she walked by him, patting his shoulder. He reached up and squeezed her hand as she walked out of the room. He was glad for this time with his sister. He knew she tired a lot, but before the weekend was over, he wanted to do something fun with her, not just sit around in a hospital or rehab facility. He'd have to think about that. He looked to his message.

"Emily and I were discussing her schedule the next few days. She's working Friday evening, so I can bring Hannah to meet your dad then if that works for you," she typed. "Emily went in search of some juice from the vending machine. We're having a lovely night, and I wanted you to know that about Friday."

"Sounds good," he told her. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Andy spent most of Thursday frustrated-frustrated with his dad, the hospital, the whole situation. He and Angela spent a long time at the rehab center, almost having to argue about the care his dad needed. It was the typical battle between what the doctors wanted and what the insurance wanted to cover. After a lot of back and forth, things were settled. The situation wasn't perfect, but the details were better than they had been at the start of the day. Andy had spent almost two hours of his day on the phone with the insurance company, and then, he'd spent another hour talking to his dad's doctor and physical therapist. Angela had done a lot of the running back and forth, trying to collect things for their dad while he was in rehab. It was a big job, all of it, and Andy was glad he and Angela could do it together. Of course, all of that back and forth meant that now, his nerves were shot. He was done talking to people and ready to relax for the evening. It wasn't helping him that after looking for a ballet ticket and all, he didn't get to bed until after 1:00 AM and was then up before 6:00 to get ready for the day. It was okay, though. He was really looking forward to his evening, alone, hoping that at least after the ballet, he could take Sharon to dinner.

His frustration continued as he made his way to the ballet. He sent Sharon a couple of text messages, neither with a reply, but he knew she was probably with Emily. He was running late, and by the looks of it, he was barely going to make the start of the ballet. Andy rushed, and he was able to make it to his seat as the house lights flashed. He let out a long sigh at that, glad he'd made it. Before the lights dimmed, he looked around the theater, hoping to spot Sharon. He hadn't heard back from her about her seat. He didn't see her, and soon, the lights dimmed, and he turned his attention on the ballet. Andy couldn't remember ever going to a professional ballet, and he lightly chuckled now as he sat there, alone, waiting to see a glimpse of his daughter's half-sister.

Andy found himself dumbfounded by the time intermission came. Even as the house lights came back up, he continued to sit there in his seat, floored by the performance. He couldn't believe people could dance like that, much less the half-sister of his own daughter. It was amazing, almost magical. He'd always balked at professional dancers like this, not really into or impressed by anything, but this time was different. He saw the dancers as people, not as just some ad on the television or picture on a billboard. More than that, he saw a dancer as a person, Emily, Sharon's daughter. It blew him away, the thought that she had once been a small, sweet, innocent baby like Hannah, a baby learning to walk, and now, she was this amazing dancer in New York. He finally stood and walked to the aisle, scanning around the theater for any sign of Sharon. He really wanted to see her.

He finally found her just as intermission was about to end. He spotted her coming out of the bathroom area and gave her a small wave. She gave him a return, small wave and walked to him, the sight of her almost taking his breath away. She was wearing a simple, dark purple cocktail dress. It was elegant, hitting just below her knee, and it was form fitting. He had no idea what problem she had with her weight because she looked fantastic in the dress. She had on black heels and had her hair curled. He smiled as she walked up to him.

"Wow, Sharon," he reached toward her to kiss her cheek. She didn't pull away, and he said, "You look just amazing tonight. Your dress, your hair, you just look beautiful."

"Thank you," she cleared her throat, still not used to a compliment such as that. "I found this shopping yesterday. I wasn't sure about it, but Emily really liked it."

"I agree with Emily, and man, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing she is. I'm speechless. I'm sitting there watching her dance, thinking about how she had to learn to walk just like Hannah is, and I almost can't believe it. One question for you," he flashed a small smile and smirked at her. That almost caught her off guard.

"Okay?" she asked.

"I'm curious as to how many thousands of dollars you have spent over the years on dance lessons, recitals, costumes, travel, all of that for her?" he chuckled lightly. "Whatever it is, it's priceless to see her dance like that. I'm amazed, and I don't even really know her, but wow. I can't imagine how proud of her you are."

"I'm so very proud," she gave him a warm smile and almost teared up at the compliment. "You're right; it's priceless, somewhat because I don't even want to guess what I've spent on her. It's worth it to see her so happy. You know, you always love your children, and I believe you can always find something to be proud of them for doing, but she's just exceeding all expectations."

"Well, she's amazing," he told her. "You should be proud, although, I'm not sure my dad would agree with you about finding something to be proud of regarding your kids. I agree with that, but it's not everyone's philosophy. Are you still free after the ballet?"

"I am," Sharon nodded. "Emily is so sweet. She has her friend watching Hannah. I took several things to Emily's apartment earlier, and another mutual friend brought over a travel crib. She went to so much trouble for her little sister," she smiled brightly. "Then, tonight, she told me to go back to the hotel and relax, that she was going to keep Hannah for the night. Oh," she let out a loud sigh, "my baby is so grown up, so caring," she shook her head. "Emily really is wonderful, and she wanted to do something nice for me. I'm a little nervous about Hannah being out of my sight all night, but she's going to be okay."

Andy raised an eyebrow at Sharon, "So, you have no plans?"

"No plans," Sharon bit her lip and took a step toward him. She glanced around at the people milling around, and she leaned in even closer, "Knowing that I'm all alone tonight, with a hotel room all to myself, might I interest you in stopping by for a few hours? We could relax, enjoy each other," she gave a small shrug.

Andy looked at her, down into her eyes. Even with her heels, he was still just a little taller than she was. He could see the desire there, and he was having trouble not staring at her hands, currently messing with his tie. He cleared his throat and used his hand to brush a stray piece of hair out of her face, "Oh, I am very much interested in that idea, very much. I have an amendment to the idea, a sort of," he paused and shook his head from side to side, "sort of a non-negotiable clause. We do everything you suggested, you are thinking," he nodded to her. "I'm adding to that. I would like to take you to dinner first, a late dinner here in the city. I'm tired; you're tired, so consider it a source of energy," he winked. "I reject the few hours comment, and I'm only agreeing to this if I can stay all night again. You know," he gave her a playful shrug, "big city, people out at all hours up to no good, so it's safer if I stay with you."

"Safer," she rolled her eyes as she listened.

"I'm going to take that all as you accepting this," he squeezed her hand. "From all of that, you picked at the word safer, so I'm assuming you are accepting my terms-dinner and all night with you."

"Andy, we don't have to go to dinner," she said. "We could just get something there at the hotel, room service or honestly, I'm not hungry."

"We could," he nodded and continued, "but I really want to go out to dinner, something normal, something normal with just you. That, dinner, seems normal, but we've never just been normal around each other, have we? That's what I want tonight, two adults, forgetting all the baggage and drama we have-going to dinner and well," he winked, "more if you can get through dinner with me."

Sharon pursed her lips. The lights flashed, indicating they needed to return to their seats. Andy watched her try to come up with an excuse, "Of course, if you aren't that hungry, I'll just go home-I mean to my sister's home tonight. You can think about it."

"I can do dinner," she called to him as he had started to step away like he was going back to his seat. He slightly turned back to her, and he saw her standing there, looking completely vulnerable in her spot, gorgeous, but vulnerable. "Just to clarify," she gestured with her hand, "are you planning on breakfast too?"


	61. Chapter 61

He sat on the side of the bed and frowned, running his hand over his face. He looked to where Sharon had been sleeping and wondered how long she'd been gone. Typical. Here, they'd had a wonderful night, a night like he couldn't remember having with anyone, and she was gone. He'd never enjoyed a night like this even with Sandra. Sharon, oh Sharon. She'd run again, just when he thought they were making some progress. Yes, typical. He really thought he was getting through to her, giving her the time and space to see what was right in front of her, but she'd run. She was scared, and honestly, after the great night they'd had, if that didn't break down her walls, he wasn't sure what would.

Andy stood and turned around, almost hoping Sharon would be there. She wasn't. Her purse was gone; he could see that from where she'd put it on her suitcase. He was here, in her hotel room, but she had left sometime, very early, no doubt. It was now just after 7:00. It felt odd to be here, alone in her room. Even sweet Hannah's crib looked empty without her there. If Andy didn't know better, he would have thought Sharon had gone for Hannah, to get her from Emily this early, but his mind trailed back to the evening before, when they were right here in this very room, still clothed, but on the bed with things getting heated, Sharon got a series of text messages, pictures, and updated information about Hannah, along with a note to come by sometime after 10:00 this morning to get Hannah. No, Sharon hadn't run out to run toward Hannah; she'd run out to run away from Andy.

Andy looked around the room in search of his clothing. He only had his suit with him, as while he had planned-hoped-to spend the night with Sharon before they had discussed it at the ballet, he hadn't carried a change of clothing with him. No, he just had his suit, and after he spent a few moments crawling around on the floor, he found everything but one sock. The room was a bit of a mess, but somehow, even while he'd been sleeping soundly, Sharon had gotten up, collected her things, and had run. Exhaustion must have hit him hard because he didn't hear any of it.

With his suit pants and shirt in hand, he put them on the bed and started to the shower. He was at least going to freshen up for the day after the wonderful night he'd had. He eyed the counter and while he had the shower warming, he brushed his teeth, that conversation playing over in his head.

 _"_ _Can I share your toothpaste?" he'd asked her as they walked back to the hotel after their late dinner. The two were walking side by side, neither touching, but were close to each other. Sharon looked to him with a very odd expression and shook her head as if she didn't understand._

 _"_ _My toothpaste? What are you talking about now?" she asked._

 _"_ _I'm staying all night. This time, I don't have my suitcase with me, which means I don't have toothpaste. Can I share yours? I don't mind stopping here," he nodded just ahead to the drugstore they were passing, "to buy a toothbrush and a couple other things, but hey, I'm all for saving a buck if I can," he winked. This was really just his odd attempt at some humor, to get Sharon laughing, but she just shook her head with a slight roll of her eye._

 _"_ _We've slept together now more times than I can count. You and I both know that is about to happen again, and yet, you're worried about a toothbrush?" she asked. "You don't need a toothbrush to attract me tonight. I had the fish just like you did. I think we'll be okay. Really?" she shook her head in annoyance. "Are you really worried about a toothbrush?"_

 _"_ _Sure," he nodded. "Good hygiene," he winked. "I told you I'm staying all night. We agreed to that. I'd like to get up in the morning and have a normal morning, much like we did the other day with Hannah. So, I'd like to be able to brush my teeth. If it's that big of a deal, I'll buy my own. I thought with all the things we share, as intimate as we are, toothpaste wasn't a big deal," he flashed a grin._

 _They stopped walking outside the drugstore, and Sharon just rolled her eyes, "This is ridiculous discussing toothpaste. Yes, you can use mine. It's not that I mind you using it. I, ahh, I'm sure the hotel has a toothbrush for you."_

 _He shrugged, "Yeah, maybe. I'm sure they have a stash for their last-minute overnight guests," he winked, "but it's not a big deal. I'm going to run in here and pick up a couple things. You coming?"_

 _"_ _I'll be in after I send a text to Emily," she nodded to her phone. "She's had now a couple hours to get home and check on Hannah. It makes me nervous not hearing anything. I'm trying to step back and tell myself while they are sisters, one is a grown woman who can take care of the other. Still," she shook her head, "they are both my girls, and I want to make sure both are safe at Emily's place."_

 _"_ _Understood," Andy nodded casually. "I'll be out quickly. Take your time. I'm just going to pick up a couple things for tonight."_

 _It only took Andy a couple minutes to find a toothbrush and the couple of other items he wanted. He almost bought toothpaste just to make a big deal about it, but he didn't. Yes, he knew it was a stupid discussion, but he was enjoying rattling her a little tonight. He'd done that at dinner a little. Andy made his way to the cashier, and he waited in line behind one customer. It was late, now almost midnight, but in the city that never sleeps, the streets were still full of people. It was going to be a late night for him, for them. They weren't even back to the hotel yet, and he knew what was in store. It was okay; it was great, actually. This evening would be one he wouldn't forget._

 _The cashier was ringing up his purchases when Sharon walked inside to join him, her phone in hand. He nodded to her when their eyes met, and she walked to him at the register, eyeing his purchases._

 _"_ _What is all of that?" Sharon made a face and poked at the pile of things Andy was buying. She looked at him, almost horrified, and he shrugged._

 _"_ _Excuse me for noticing," the cashier said. Both turned to him, and Andy thought the guy reminded him a little of Provenza, similar age and build. "Ma'am, if I had to say, it looks like your husband has a very nice evening planned for you," he smiled brightly. "Let me guess," he nodded to them, "tourists, dressed up because you went to a Broadway show, and this late-you took her to a fancy wine bar for drinks and dessert. Love is in the air, and now, it's time for some romance," he grinned widely again. Andy dropped his head to chuckle quietly, while Sharon gestured between them._

 _"_ _He is not my husband," she said and shook her head, her face red as she looked to them horrified._

 _"_ _My mistake," the guy clutched his chest and nodded to Sharon. "Forgive me. I apologize. People are keeping their options open these days. So, that must make him the boyfriend, maybe even surprising you with a romantic weekend getaway where you both profess your undeniable love to each other. I hear it all in here. Anyway, I don't think it takes much to figure out the night's intentions," he winked. "Sorry if I came off rude. I look at purchases all day and come up with stories about most of them."_

 _"_ _Andy," Sharon shook her head and poked at the items, ignoring the cashier for the moment, "candles-you are buying candles? You came to a drugstore for candles?"_

 _"_ _I came for a toothbrush," he shrugged. "Candles seemed nice. No kids around tonight, and I mean, we are here in New York in a hotel and all."_

 _"_ _Oh, and I'm not his girlfriend," Sharon made a face again and looked to the cashier. "I assure you- we aren't what you think."_

 _"_ _My apology this time," Andy gestured to himself and looked to the cashier. He flashed a grin and took a deep breath, frustrated and ready to vent, "You've seen it all? I'm sure you have. I'm a cop, LAPD; she was too," he hooked his thumb at Sharon. We get it; we've seen it all too. Here's a new one for you. She's right; we aren't married. Not dating," he shrugged and continued, "whatever she tells herself. Let me explain who we are. I'm not even sure I know, but here are the facts. She and I," he gestured between them, "we just sleep together, have for almost two years. It started as that hot passion, you know, right? I can't even say we were young kids because we weren't; we aren't. Don't even really need condoms anymore," he chuckled. "Well, silly me, silly us, whatever, we end up with a baby. Surprise! We're the old people who made a kid when we didn't think that would happen. I'm now her baby daddy; I guess when you are the baby daddy hanging around you can't just be called the one-night stand anymore or the random hook up as younger people say now. The new expectation is more like an anytime we are in the same room together, it's probably going to happen type of situation; really, it is going to happen," Andy made a face, and Sharon stood there horrified as he continued to talk. "Now, she wanted to take the baby and start over, maybe even find a new guy to take her to bed-who knows," he shrugged. "She moved. We started talking again and well," he shrugged, "we started up more than talking. Now, I see our daughter sometimes. We discussed not sleeping together every visit, but that's not working out as we'd planned because we really enjoy, well," he shrugged and winked. "You get the idea. We're here in New York, and no, we didn't even travel together, but we are both here this weekend. Our daughter is with her sister for the night, her grown sister, I might add. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what we could possibly do with our free time, all night long. I'm here to deal with my dad, and he constantly reminds me what a loser I am, how I'm not good at anything. Apparently," he glanced toward Sharon, who was still there horrified, "I'm good at something, right? Oh, and the grown one, her older daughter, doesn't know I exist. I mean, she knows how babies are made, but she doesn't know the identity of her half sister's father. We're like a couple of teenagers sneaking around with our own drama. We can just afford nice hotels instead of the backseat of a car. So, we had a lovely dinner, dancing, all of that, and here, as we are almost back to the hotel, I thought adding some candles would be nice, romantic even tonight. The toothbrush," he pointed to it, "that's good hygiene because I'm just the sleepover friend. I don't actually stay in the room with her, not on this trip. I am staying with my sister who does know about all of this, and I'm thankful she at least is smart enough to know I'm not coming home tonight. There you have it," he opened his arms in gesture and winked to the cashier._

 _Sharon, who was standing there, arms crossed and clearly horrified, shook her head and closed her eyes. She waved a hand at Andy and turned to walk outside, "I can't believe you just did that. I'm waiting outside. I don't even know what to say."_

 _Andy looked to the cashier, and the man shook his head, "Yeah, haven't heard that one. Hey, whatever, it's working," he nodded to Andy's purchases. "Have a kid together and still trying to spice things up. Good work, my friend," he chuckled as he continued to ring up the purchases. "How old is the kid?"_

 _"_ _Not even one yet," Andy threw some money on the counter. "Hey, sorry about the outburst. I have had a long few days. My father is ill, the real reason for my trip. He and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. Then, I've been dealing with this Sharon mess. Oh," he nodded his head toward the door and continued, "she's Sharon if you didn't figure that out. Sorry I unloaded on you," he gave a soft smile. "Really can't believe I just said all that."_

 _"_ _Free therapy," the man shrugged. "It only cost you a toothbrush and a few candles. I'll throw in a lighter for you, my treat," he winked. Andy chuckled at that and tossed a couple more bills on the counter._

 _"_ _Keep the change," he said. "Enjoy your night."_

 _"_ _Hope your evening won't be derailed," the guy called after him._

 _Andy turned and smiled, "It won't. I know her well enough; she'll recover. The candles will come in handy; I have no doubt. Night."_

 _Andy stepped outside, his bag in his hand, and Sharon, who was still standing there, arms crossed, glared at him, "What was that? What were you thinking?"_

 _He gestured for her to walk with him, and they started down the sidewalk again, side by side. Sharon had her arms crossed, still mad. He sighed, "It was just a little frustration at everything, just about every part of my life really-my dad, my kids, you. I didn't say anything that isn't true. It's what we are. Sharon, I thought that I was doing something nice, something romantic in there. We went to that great dinner, that classy place my sister recommended. I was so excited about that. I made reservations and all. I begged you until I made you dance with me as part of our deal," he stepped in front of her and gave her a small smile. "You eventually enjoyed it," he stated, looking to her for any response. She just rolled her eyes at him, and he grinned. "See, I learned tonight you love to dance, nice slow dancing. That restaurant was perfect, and you fought dancing, something you love. I thought it was enjoyable, and I don't normally enjoy dancing. I learned more about you, and quite honestly, I felt like it set the mood for tonight. We both want tonight, and as I started thinking, I did realize we're alone for the whole night, just tonight. We're in classy hotel, a lovely room, no kids around, and I just wanted it to be romantic. Candles, yeah," he nodded. "I almost bought you some chocolate, but honestly, I don't even know if you like chocolate that much."_

 _"_ _Andy, I really don't need all of this for what we enjoy," she sighed. "Dinner, dancing, candles-I'm okay with just a couple hours, and that's it."_

 _Andy nodded, "You are, yes, but I'm not, Sharon, and honestly, you deserve more. You don't deserve the one-hour roll in the sheets, and that's not tonight. I've been telling you that I'm not okay with that, not anymore. If this isn't what you want tonight, fine. I'll walk you back to the hotel and then go back to Angela's house. I just wanted to make it more enjoyable, a little more special tonight. All I did was ask to feed you, dance with you, and now, set the mood for you-all for you because I want to do that. Your choice."_

 _The two walked a few more steps in silence. Andy heard Sharon let out her breath finally, and as they were almost to the hotel, she said, "For the record, milk chocolate, not dark chocolate." She looked up at him, and he grinned widely. She just shook her head._

 _"_ _Hope you like lavender and vanilla because those were the two candles they had, well, except for the spruce scent, and that didn't scream romantic night," he winked to her and opened the door to the hotel. She just looked up at him and stepped in the door, throwing a small shrug his way._

As Andy now looked around the room, he spotted the candles, four of them. He'd bought two of each scent, and they had burned down considerably in the hours overnight. It had made the evening even better in his opinion, or so he'd thought. Nothing more had been said about the drugstore disaster; in fact, it was quickly forgotten after the two got upstairs. Sharon excused herself to the bathroom, and he took off his coat and tie, loosening his shirt slightly. He'd also put out all the candles, and everything seemed perfect. He was slightly concerned when she walked out of the bathroom still in her cocktail dress, not that he minded, but he had thought she would change into something more comfortable.

 _"_ _Everything okay?" he asked, eyeing her from across the room. He watched her let out her breath and look around at the candles._

 _She started to fidget with her hands and looked around again. Sharon was not normally like this when they were about to sleep together. He briefly thought back to the aggressive, assertive times when they had been working the case, now a long time ago, and this woman in front of him was different. She cleared her throat, "This, everything, it changes the room; it's so different."_

 _"_ _Yeah, kinda the point," he said quietly as he put his hands in his pockets and stepped toward her. "I'm not trying to freak you out with the candles. It's just candles, Sharon," he shrugged slightly. "You know, candles."_

 _She slightly bit her lip and gave a very tiny shake of her head, "I can't remember candles, just the only time I had candles around was ahhh, on my wedding night I think. Jack," she said quickly, "not into candles, and I have told you the few others," she shook her head again. "The candles are fine," she met his gaze and gave him a small smile._

 _"_ _You sure? I really feel like I hit a nerve with them, and I just wanted something to set the mood. I realize I was a jerk too at the store, going on my rant like that. I'm sorry," he told her._

 _"_ _Forget about it," she shook her head. "We're here. No interruptions," she stated. "It's just like old times, right? It's just like before Hannah was even around, just us for the night." She stepped toward him and put her arms on his arms as she looked up at him. "If you can help with my zipper," she said quietly, looking at him, "I'll slip into something more comfortable. I wasn't sure if this was going to be a good idea when we got back to the room, but I'm okay now. I just had to remind myself it's like old times, just some fun together."_

 _He looked to her with an odd expression and shook his head, "You're sure? I am very much looking forward to the night, very much," he confirmed. "If I've upset you or made you uncomfortable-" he stopped when she stood up on her toes and started kissing him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and started to pull on her zipper for her. The two stood there, their kiss getting more and more heated before Sharon stepped back, extending her arms as she held onto him, a soft smile on her face._

 _"_ _Too much talking," she said. "I'll be right back, and we can enjoy ourselves like old times."_

 _He stood there, watching her until she closed the bathroom door, "Nothing like it used to be," he sighed._

Again, now as he thought back over the night, he couldn't help but smile. It had been better than old times, much better. Each time with Sharon was better, and that, he knew, was due to his feelings getting stronger and stronger. Now, alone, in the same hotel room where he'd been utterly content the night before, he just wanted to shower and go. He didn't know what to think anymore.

It took Andy another half hour to shower, dress himself, and get ready to go. He was glad he'd stopped at the drugstore last night for many reasons. The candles were great, even if they rattled Sharon, but he felt somewhat human with the other toiletry products he'd picked up, including a razor. He just liked feeling clean, something he'd discovered working years and years of long days and nights through the LAPD. He would have liked a clean outfit, but at least he looked decent in a black suit with a white dress shirt. He put his tie in his suit coat pocket and left his shirt open at the top. He'd change at home. He was just putting his wallet and keys into his pocket when he spun around as the door opened.

"Hi," she said as she stood there, the door slightly ajar. Her expression changed, and she shook her head slightly. "You're leaving? What time is it?"

Andy noticed the coffee cups in her hands, two coffee cups, and he sighed loudly. He looked up at the ceiling to hopefully hide his frustration before he looked back at her. When he did, he frowned slightly, "I thought you left."

Sharon closed the door and stepped inside the room. He wasn't used to seeing her in shorts, navy blue ones and a simple white top, but she looked relaxed and maybe even refreshed. She shook her head at him as she put down her cup of coffee, "I didn't leave. I mean, I left," she said gesturing with now her free hand, "to get coffee-for us. I was gone too long; I realize that. I started walking, and my mind started to wander. It was really just a simple task-coffee down the street. I stopped there the other day with Hannah when I was walking back to the hotel. I really liked their house blend and wanted some this morning. I needed some," she nodded slightly and gave a slight smile. "I'm exhausted this morning, a good tired," she eyed him and continued, "but thought we both could use some coffee. Anyway, I was walking and thinking-apparently not a good combination for me, and I lost track of time. Please stay," she said, handing him the cup of coffee. He accepted the cup and lifted it to smell it.

"Thanks," he said after he sipped it. "You left; we'd talked about staying around for breakfast-together." He glanced at her, and she was walking around, tidying up the small space, avoiding eye contact with him. She put a blanket on the side of Hannah's crib and turned back to him.

"I'm glad you were still here and had not left. I'm not hungry, but if you want something to eat, maybe we can-" she stopped talking when she saw him put down his coffee and take the two steps toward her. He tugged at her arm, pulled her closer, and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her.

"It's not about breakfast, the food, as much as seeing you in the morning, being right here with you. I woke up thinking about last night, actually hoping for an encore this morning before we have to go our separate ways, and you were gone. I thought we'd worked through that," he said quietly to her, his head next to hers as he whispered it in her ear. He shifted and kissed her neck. She started to kiss him too, and quickly, her hands moved to his shirt.

"I have to pick up Hannah around 10:00," she said breathlessly. "After that, she's here with me the rest of the trip. This is our last chance, now until I get her at 10:00. I go home Sunday, and we have yet to discuss seeing Hannah again."

"We're back to seeing Hannah means sleeping with you. We can't seem to resist that. We need better boundaries," he chuckled. "Later, though. We can talk later," he said as his lips landed back on hers. They both broke for air, "It's almost 8:00. We've got plenty of time. That coffee you got is going to get cold, though." Andy shifted again to kiss her neck, and she hummed. "I'm probably going to work up quite an appetite too."

"I'll buy more coffee," she sighed and with another breathless sigh, "I'll even buy you a bagel."


	62. Chapter 62

Not many people surprised Sharon. She had been pretty good at reading people, at least at work, but the Flynn family had surprised her. Sharon sat in a chair watching Hannah with Andy and his dad, three generations of family if she had to be honest. She hadn't said that, but it was true. His dad was nothing like she'd imagined. She'd heard him talk about his dad, but it was nothing like seeing him now in person. She had expected someone like her own parents, her own dad, but he was nothing like that. Andy had said his dad was pretty hard on him, but she'd taken that as any parent wanting the best for a child. Her parents wanted the best for her; she knew that. They had a way of expressing their expectations. Her mother had always been lovingly direct, as Sharon had coined it. Her dad was the quiet, pensive, reserved type. She knew each style, and with that, knew when one was disappointed in her. Sitting here, watching Andy with his dad, she was seeing a different parenting style, one she didn't like. He was much more direct, more negative than she'd imagined. It was becoming very clear to her why Andy was so hard on himself, so sure he was a failure all the time. She was seeing it here, now. It saddened her. Sure, she knew Andy's dad did love him, but this wasn't how she wanted to show her own children love.

"Sharon?" she heard and snapped her head up to meet Andy's gaze. He was sitting in a chair next to his dad's bed, Hannah on his lap, and he'd been talking to his dad. She'd been part of the conversation, in and out, but that was another thing-his dad, Fred, had directed the conversation more at Andy.

"Sorry," she shook her head and pursed her lips. "My mind started to wander."

Fred frowned, "I was asking about her upbringing. Andy here stepped away from the church when he decided divorce was a good idea. Sounds like if you are divorced, it's the same. Are you also like my son and have turned your back on the church?"

"Actually, no," Sharon smiled at him, the smile one of the harder things she'd had to do today, to pretend like she enjoyed speaking to him. "I'm Catholic, yes, and yes, I go to church. Hannah will go to Mass and will be brought up in the church. When it's time for school, I will most likely send her to Catholic school as I did with her sister and brother. I'm in a new city and have not looked into that yet, but it is my plan. As far as Andy, I think it's a stretch to say he's turned his back on the church."

"That's good to hear, that at least one of my grandkids will be brought up in the church, even if you're wrong about Andy's thoughts on the church. That's where you messed up with the other two, Andy," he turned and frowned at him. "You walked away from the church and let your kids do the same."

Andy, still holding Hannah, started to gesture with his hand, "Would you knock it off? Sandra raised them; she didn't want them in Catholic school. They go to Mass some, but that wasn't my call. Now, I know you will turn it around on me and say that I'm the root of that problem. Fact is, I wasn't given any choice in the matter, but it is what it is."

"You know," Sharon leaned forward and gestured to Andy, "from what I know, Andy didn't go to Catholic school, and he understands the church. He did well and went to college too. Affording Catholic school is not easy, and I had to make other sacrifices to make that happen then. I can appreciate that wasn't a possibility for your other grandchildren, but going to Catholic school doesn't just make you a Catholic. She will be brought up in the Catholic church, just as I was, just as Andy was," she gestured to him. "After that, she will have to decide as an adult where she stands. Hannah," Sharon cleared her throat, "as far as school, though, will be all set. That is covered."

Fred nodded, "Finally, something that I don't have to argue. College was expected, at least for my kids."

"As well as mine," Sharon nodded. "Now, I do believe there are some people who are just not suited for college. It's not for everyone. There are many good jobs out there for people who don't go to college. Our country, our world, is full of jobs who need skilled workers. Look at police work," she gestured. "Nonetheless, I do expect and plan Hannah will go to college. She has opportunities many will never have. That, too, will be covered. I have raised two other children who've gone through college."

"It gets expensive," he said, rather gruff.

"Dad, we are both aware of that," Andy said, slightly irritated. "That's why she already has a college account."

Fred looked at Sharon, "You put your kids through school alone?"

"Fred," Sharon said with a small smile, as he'd told her to call him, "I did most everything with my children alone from the moment they came home from the hospital. Putting them through college was just one of many things I did alone, and my biggest worry with that was that somehow my ex-husband would get his hands on the money set aside for college and spend every dime of it. Thankfully, that did not happen."

Fred nodded and looked over to Andy who now had Hannah standing on his lap. She was bucking at him, wanting to get down and move around, and Fred said, "There's a lot more to a kid than just parading her around," he nodded to him. "I expect that you have contributed financially to her. No responsibility these days," he shook his head and sighed. "Our society is in it for the fun, just as you were it sounds. Everything was fun until you knocked her up," he gestured to Sharon. "Now, the responsibility that comes with that is much more than you probably realize."

"I need to clarify this," Sharon pointed at Fred and then at Andy. She looked back to Fred, her tone now changed; she had a bit of an edge to it and trained her eye on Fred, "To start, Andy didn't knock me up alone. This was something that happened between us and only us. You can judge all you want, but this is something that involves the two of us, and we will decide how things are handled with Hannah. Another thing, Andy contributes quite a bit each month to Hannah's college fund, not that it's any of your business, but he does. From what I know, he did the same with his other kids. That, I did not ask; he did that on his own, as he's done a lot on his own. I have not asked him for one dime, not one. He's offered to help on many instances. I know there are men out there who walk away from financial responsibility. I was married to one for years, years! Andy," she looked over to him and gave him a single nod as he now stood with Hannah in his arms, trying to calm her, has never once tried to dodge financial responsibility."

"Well, finally, something I don't have to stay on you to do," he looked to Andy.

"Dad, drop it. This isn't the time to attack Sharon or me. Hannah is here so you can see her. She's your granddaughter," he smiled at Hannah in his arms. "Let's try to focus on her. Sharon said she thinks Hannah looks just like Angela. What do you think?" Andy turned Hannah toward his dad, trying to push the conversation in a different direction. Sharon jumped in too.

"I have always said I see Andy in her eyes, always. The minute I met Angela the other day, I got a glimpse of what Hannah will look like as an adult. Andy and Angela have the same eyes, some of the same facial features and expressions. I clearly see it," she said.

"And, I don't see it at all," he said as he kissed Hannah's head. "Pumpkin here, she looks like her mom to me."

Fred looked at Hannah. Andy sat down on the side of his bed so Fred could get a good look at her. He ran his hand over her head and gave a small smile, "She looks like your mother, Angela too, yes."

"Ahh, so you agree," Sharon raised her eyebrows and chuckled. She gave Andy a small smile when he glanced her way and rolled his eyes. The mood in the room seemed to have changed, but Fred spoke again.

"Well, that brings up something else. You're an alcoholic," he looked to Andy and then to Sharon. "I hope you knew that."

Sharon pursed her lips, "Andy has been upfront about all of that. You are forgetting I've known him for years professionally. All three of my children have that in common, a father with an addiction. Yes, it is something for them to be aware, to even maybe address down the road, but his problems with alcohol are not automatically Hannah's problems."

"Well, we didn't raise him like that either. Andy, your mother and I never could understand that. It was a disappointment that you ruined things with alcohol," he looked to him.

"Dad, if I had a nickel for every single time you said that, I could completely fund Hannah's college account," he stood up, Hannah still in his arms. "You don't need to worry; I'm aware of your disappointment."

Hannah tried to push away from Andy, and Andy looked toward Sharon. "I'll take her," Sharon said, her arms extended to take Hannah.

"We're going to go for a short walk, maybe down to the nurse's area," he said. He looked at the clock, "First day here, so let me see what the deal is about dinner. I forgot to ask earlier. You okay with that?" Andy asked Sharon. The look he gave her, Sharon could see he needed a mental break from his father. She gave a single nod.

"Take your time," she said. "Fred and I can sit here and chat."

"We'll be back," Andy said and stepped out of the room with Hannah. Sharon clasped her hands in front of her and stepped toward Fred.

"Please sit," he gestured to the chair where Andy had been sitting. "You're not what I expected."

"Oh, the feeling is mutual," Sharon said, taking her seat next to him. "You are very hard on him."

"He's messed up a lot, and your being here," he nodded to her, "more proof of his issues. You wouldn't be sitting here if the two of you didn't fool around and bring a baby into this."

"No, we wouldn't. That, you are correct," Sharon said quickly. "Life happens," she shrugged. "You know that as much as I do. Life isn't always picture perfect. Things happen. You've lost your wife; you've seen that life doesn't turn out like we want. That doesn't mean everything about it is awful. Hannah isn't awful. Your life, even with your wife gone, isn't awful. Life changes force you to change. I adapted when Hannah came into the picture. Andy has too, more than I expected. You adapted when your wife passed away. I could go on and on. When my ex up and walked out, leaving me with two small children, I adapted. Now, that doesn't mean we don't carry scars. We all do; we all have our battle scars, but we still adapt."

He nodded slightly listening to her, "Problem is, Andy continues to make mistake after mistake. He's a grown man with a list of horrible mistakes."

"Hmm, that may be true on some level. No one is perfect, but I believe you are choosing to see the negative, something I know I have done myself with many people. Let's take a look at something, shall we? I have known him professionally for a long time. My division investigated bad cops, so to speak or at least investigated cops when they made mistakes. Andy made his share of them. I know that; I investigated many of them, but he's a good man," she said firmly, meeting his eyes. "He's a good police officer, and he's risen to the rank of Lieutenant. He's a detective, not just any detective, but he's a homicide detective in the most elite group of the LAPD. That's huge," she emphasized. "Units like that cannot and do not keep around problems. Andy is not a problem. He's been successful in his career. He's well liked and respected. Sure," she nodded, "he's made his share of mistakes, both professionally and personally. That does not mean he's a horrible man, but instead, mistakes have helped to shape his character."

"I'm still his father and expect more of him," he sighed. "He wasn't raised to be a drunk and walk out on his family."

"We all have expectations for our children, and honestly," she shook her head, "they will always surprise us. In some areas, I know my kids exceed my expectations, and in other ways, they surprise me. I know they've disappointed me too, but I have tried to see through that to the positives. I am not sure you've done that with Andy."

"Have you?" he asked. "From the little I know, you seem very unsure of his motives. He told me you moved away after Hannah was born, moved out of state. He told me you told him you wanted to start over. So, right back at you-are you seeing any positives with him? Praising him to me here is one thing, but the little I know about you, you have your own doubts about him, about his ability as a father. I'd say from what I know about my son, we should both be worried about his abilities as a father."

Sharon just pursed her lips and nodded, "I do; I did. I have thought a lot about that. I believe some of my concerns were not with the person, but of the title. My ex-husband was a lousy father, still is. Going through what I did, I question anyone, no matter what. Andy-he's definitely surprised me-in a good way, more and more each day. That doesn't mean all of my personal concerns, mainly ones I carry, are just gone, but it's almost been," she paused tying to find the right word and shook her head, "a shock, maybe, to see someone trying to do the right thing. I know there are all types of parents out there. You, here today, show me just another angle on parenting. Parents can love their children and have different styles of parenting. I'm seeing more of that, and to be honest, that was hard for me to realize for a very long time."

"Okay, dinner will be around at 6:00," Andy said as he walked back into the room. Sharon sat back in her chair, their conversation somewhat intense, and she let out a sigh. She took a deep breath and looked over to Andy and Hannah. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. Hannah was looking at Sharon and just had a look on her face, one Sharon had seen on Andy's face. "Hope you're hungry," he smirked at his dad. Sharon could see the time out from his dad had done him some good. "Mystery meat they are calling meatloaf is on the menu for dinner."

"Meatloaf," he huffed. "I love meatloaf. Hopefully, they don't mess that up here. That's another thing," he gestured to Andy. "You move out there to California and become a vegetarian." Sharon stood and walked to Hannah, who put her arms out to Sharon. Sharon took her in her arms from Andy and kissed her hand. She started to walk her around the room while Andy continued to speak to his dad.

"Yeah, because it's all about the cause with me, Dad," he sighed. "You know my diet change was for my health. I still eat a few things, but mostly, no meat."

"You should be glad he's taken charge of his health," Sharon spoke up from her corner. She smiled at Hannah, focused on her, while she continued to talk, "Many adults just let their health get so bad and never take things into their own hands. I applaud him for being proactive."

Andy turned and eyed her, clearly surprised she was coming to his defense. He gestured to Sharon, "She's holding the reason I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life to watch that one grow up. I can't have her celebrating her high school graduation in a place like this, Dad, watching some old idiot like me. You know what I'm saying. I know I'm old for an infant, and I want to do everything in my power to be here for a very long time."

"Well, I will say, seeing that cute of a kid, it makes me want to get out of a place like this, back to my retirement center. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought you'd show up here telling me I had another granddaughter, but she is a cute one," he admitted, looking between Andy and Sharon.

"Did you want to hold her?" Sharon asked, stepping toward him. Andy gave Sharon a look, and she gave him a slight shrug. "She's getting pretty strong and might be a little feisty to move around, but you're welcome to hold her."

"I probably should with you taking her back to what, Arizona, you say? How in the world, Andy, are you going to be of any use to this child you made if she's in Arizona?" he asked.

"Dad, I'm doing what I can," Andy turned to him and said through gritted teeth. "All I want is to be there for all my kids. I can only do so much for each one because of varying circumstances. Hey, she's here isn't she?"

Sharon put Hannah next to Andy's dad, and he wrapped his arm around her. She quickly moved to her diaper bag and pulled out a small snack for Hannah. "Here," she offered him, "a little bribery to sit with you for a moment."

"Well, Hannah, you are sure a sweet one," Fred smiled at her, the first real smile on his face since they'd arrived. Hannah looked up at him, as if she understood, all dressed in a one-piece sleeveless romper. Sharon had put a little bow in her hair and had her in white soft sandals. Andy had laughed at the shoes, commenting Hannah didn't even walk, but Sharon had insisted a girl always needed shoes. Fred leaned over and kissed her head. Sharon stood to one side, and Andy stood to the other side of his bed. He sat there with Hannah a few moments. Sharon glanced at Andy, but he had his eyes glued on Hannah and his dad. His dad looked up at him and spoke.

"In all of this, you haven't told me what Nicole and Nathan have to say about your little addition here. This affects them. What have they said?" he asked.

"They don't know," Andy offered quickly and shrugged at him. "Go ahead and tell me why that's a mistake too. I'm ready."

"They don't know? You're lying to them about your kid? What, are you ashamed of her? It's bad enough you lied to me, but your own kids too?"

"Look, this has been mess enough. We're trying to figure out everything," he gestured to Sharon. "I hadn't wanted to tell them until I knew what to tell them."

"Here's a thought," his dad shook his head at him and continued, "start with I messed around, made a kid, and now, you have a sister for the rest of your life."

"You have no idea how complicated this is," Sharon added. "You have no idea," she repeated and shook her head. "It seems so simple, so cut and dry to you, but it's far from it. We both have people we have kept out of this, people we don't want to disappoint, as you said yourself. I think we both realize those people will eventually know, but that is for us to decide. One of my greatest regrets is not telling my mom everything before she died. I do regret that, but none of this is just a simple matter."

He frowned and looked down at Hannah, "Seems to me if you have someone this special, you tell the world. I feel like I get mixed messages from you two. She's amazing, but then, she's something we need to hide. I know I'm old and set in my ways. I think it's highly irresponsible to be sleeping around as you two were. It goes against anything I believe, yet, it happened. I don't agree with it, but I'm not going to punish Hannah. I'll let you two know what I think of what has gone on here, but she's innocent. I deserve to know her. I appreciate you bringing her here, and it seems like others deserve the same. You might not like hearing what they have to say, but you did the crime so to speak. Listen to their concerns and move on. I will always tell you what I think, always," he looked to Andy. "I'm going to tell you when I'm disappointed and expect more. I really don't care if you like what I have to say or not. I think you are still making mistakes even now. Hiding the child you had with a woman, just randomly, is a mistake. I raised you better than that."

"Dad, I knew that coming here, I'd get your thoughts on the matter. At the end of the day, though, this is not your issue to handle. It's mine; it's ours. Hannah is part of the family, and I hope you are right and won't hold this against her. She needs to know you love her. You've judged me all my life, and I hope you will not judge her for simply being born," Andy stood there and with hands on his hips, addressed his father. "Now, your dinner should be here soon. Sharon was gracious enough to bring Hannah here to meet you, and I think it's time we leave for the evening. I'll be back tomorrow, but this is when you need to say goodbye to Hannah."

He frowned slightly and looked to the sweet baby, now holding one of her little crackers. He glanced up at Sharon, "You said your other daughter lived here?"

"She does," Sharon nodded with a small smile. "I don't know when, but I will be back to visit. I am guessing that is what you are about to ask."

"You'll bring her to visit, even if he continues to be a disappointment?" he asked.

Sharon looked over to Andy, hoping to catch his eye. He was looking up at the ceiling, and she could see he was holding back, rolling his eyes. When she couldn't catch his gaze, she looked back to Fred, "Hannah is welcome to visit with you anytime Andy wants. I would never stop that. My older children still speak to their grandparents, my ex-husband's parents. I've never stopped that, and I won't here. I will leave that to Andy. With my other kids, my ex wasn't around to ask, but just as you have said, I wasn't about to punish the grandparents. I expect you won't treat Hannah with any ill will and would hope you realize that if Andy wants her here, she will be here."

Andy raised his eyebrows at Sharon, again almost surprised that she'd come to his defense. She gestured to her diaper bag, "I'm going to gather her things and will let you two have a few moments. Andy, bring Hannah with you?" she asked.

"Of course," he nodded to her, a small, kind smile at her. She nodded to him and turned to Fred.

"Fred, I'm very glad I was able to meet you. I am happy to involve you in Hannah's life, however Andy would like. Hannah will always have ties here in New York with her sister here and your family too. I hope you get to feeling better and are back on your feet easily in no time. If you will excuse me, I'll just wait up front." She turned and left before more could be said.

Sharon only had to wait a few minutes in the lobby before Andy came almost barreling into the room, Hannah in his arms. He took a deep breath and stopped in front of her. She could almost see the pain in his eyes. She looked up at him and shook her head slightly while she closed her eyes.

"Let's go," Andy said, his voice agitated. Sharon noted he had a tight grip on Hannah and looked to the door.

She nodded and looked to Hannah, "Want me to take her?"

"No, she's keeping me grounded," he said gruffly. "Sorry, I just need to get out of here."

Sharon put her hand on his arm and looked up at him, "Andy, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. You said your dad was hard on you. I just don't know what to say," she sighed. He just pursed his lips and looked to the ceiling again. She ran her hand over the back of Hannah's hair. Sharon cleared her throat and looked to Andy again, "You're a good man, Andy. You are. You cannot let your dad convince you otherwise. You are a good man."

He looked to her, standing there, and he gestured with his free hand, "Nothing is ever good enough with him, ever. She's perfect," he said, nodding to Hannah. "She's perfect," he repeated and shook his head. "It's not good enough for him."

"Let's get out of here," Sharon nodded to the door. "It's not healthy to stay here. On the way here, you told me you were planning to go back to your sister's place, yes?"

"I'm not judged there," he sighed and shook his head before he nodded, "yeah."

She bit her lip and nodded, looking to the ground and then back up to Andy, "Come back to the hotel, please?" Sharon said that and shrugged when Andy glanced to her. She leaned up, her arm on his, and she kissed him, her fingers wrapped around his arm. He seemed almost surprised at the gesture, but remained rooted in his spot. "You are a good man," she said quietly again as she stepped away from him. "I see that. I would like you to come to the hotel with me, with us," she nodded to Hannah, "tonight, to stay."

He eyed her, still visibly flustered with his visit. He put his free hand on the back of Hannah's head and pulled her closer to him so he could kiss her head. Sharon watched him do that, and then, he spoke to Hannah in a hushed tone, "Kiddo, I will always love you, always. I will always stand behind you and support you, and I hope your mom will let me be there for you." Sharon looked to him as he spoke to Hannah, and then, he looked to her.

"Let's go," she said and ran her hand over Hannah's back, her eyes searching his. "Let's spend the evening with Hannah; let's have a normal evening."

"Sharon, my nerves are shot today. I can't take a night of you trying to run the show, you trying to haul me into bed. I just want to relax, and what you want, I can't tonight," he told her as he spoke.

"I know," she nodded, a small smile. "I think a normal evening would be good for the three of us. I promise, I just want a quiet night."

He narrowed his gaze at her, waiting to see if she had other ideas. She just gave him a small smile, and he looked to Hannah. He looked back at Sharon, "I can't do drama tonight."

"Can you do maybe takeout, a movie on tv, and time with Hannah? That's what I am thinking," she said as she squeezed his arm. "I'd like you to come over tonight, stay, and then, I think we need to talk."

Andy stared at her, the silence hanging between them. Finally, he cleared his throat, "I couldn't imagine a nicer evening," he said. Sharon continued to look at him, and quickly, before she could turn to leave, he leaned in toward her and put his forehead against hers. "Thank you for this, for coming here, and for coming to my defense. Thank you for not bringing up the paperwork, the fact that indeed, I messed up and did walk out on Hannah. Thank you for not making this worse. I didn't expect that."

"I meant every word," she said, clearing her throat. "Let's go and spend the evening with Hannah."


	63. Chapter 63

"She really does snore, doesn't she?" Andy asked quietly as he looked over at Sharon. Sharon looked down at Hannah, who was asleep between them as they sat on the bed in Sharon's hotel room. Hannah was out for the night; neither had wanted to move her to her crib yet, but she was snoring, loudly snoring. She gave a small glance up at Andy, as she was stretched out, lying on a pillow, while Andy was sitting up, his back against the headboard. The television was on, but they had the sound turned down quite a bit while Hannah slept.

"You snore," she simply said and looked back at Hannah.

Andy turned his head with a horrified look, "No way I sound like that. She is loud. Provenza, he's loud too. I mean, sure, I know I might snore some, but it's nothing like that."

Sharon hummed, just enough so he could hear her, "Deny it all you want."

"You hum in your sleep," he said, and with that, Sharon lifted her head off her pillow slightly and looked to him.

"I do not," she made a face and shook her head.

"Hmm, you do," Andy said, almost mocking her with the humming. "How would you know if you hum anyway? Anyone ever tell you?"

"Not that I can recall," she said and dropped her head back on the pillow as she looked at Hannah again.

"Of course, from what you've told me over the last year or more, it's not like many had the opportunity to hear you hum. Provenza might have told me I snore," he grumbled. "Bet your other kids think you hum."

Sharon started to chuckle and closed her eyes. She hummed, and with that, Andy started to laugh too.

"She really is snoring," Sharon said as she continued to chuckle.

"I know! It's loud. Hey," he said and waited for her to turn slightly to look at him. He nodded down at Hannah, there, in her sweet little pink pajama set, another two-piece set without the feet in them, and he gave her a soft smile, "Thanks for inviting me to hang out with you two this evening. I appreciate it. I know it was to get my mind off my dad. I'm feeling much better. Just sitting here," he nodded, "has been good."

Sharon looked up at him, and then, she quietly and slowly sat up to be face to face with him instead of lying down on her pillow. They had been stretched out there relaxing for over an hour how. Hannah had fallen asleep about a half hour earlier, and they were really just enjoying the peace and quiet. There was a re-run of a police procedural on the television, but with the sound turned down, neither was really paying attention. The almost-empty pizza box sat on the small table by the window. Sharon had been surprised when Andy had said pizza sounded good. They'd picked it up close to the hotel, along with a large salad. That was gone, and there was a slice and a half left of pizza. Both had been hungry, hungrier than they had thought.

She shifted her legs slightly, her focus on Hannah, trying to make sure she didn't wake her. When she got into position, sitting against the headboard like Andy, she turned sideways, her legs curled to her side. Hannah shifted slightly and moved her arm. Both looked to her, waiting to see if that would wake her. When she moved her lips and started snoring again, Sharon looked over to Andy again and gave him a small smile.

"I am glad you are feeling better, and I'm sorry your dad made you feel that way at all. I know you mentioned your dad was hard on you, but I just," she shook her head. Andy," she said, slightly breathless as she looked at him, her eyes searching his. She shook her head, "You really are a good man. I want you to know that. I want you to believe that, and I want you to realize that I know that."

"It's nothing new with him, nothing I haven't come to expect, to have drilled into me," he waved his hand slightly. "My dad will always see me as a washed up, drunk, divorced cop who never did one good thing in his life. I don't know why he surprises me, or I let it get to me anymore. I guess I realize people change; I know I've tried to change, and even when I show up and tell him about Hannah, even about how I'm trying to do the right thing with her, he's back to my problems of 20 and 30 years ago. He doesn't want to change, and at this point, he's not going to change. He's stuck on the idea of me still married to Sandra with a happy family, no problems, and honestly," he said a bit louder and then looked with a panicked expression to Hannah before he lowered his voice, "he never ever liked her, not at all. I think that was partly why I did like her; dad didn't, and I wanted to show him. Even I messed that up, drinking like I did, putting the bottle ahead of my family. Dad doesn't let me forget what I've done."

Sharon reached over and put her hand on his cheek. She gave him a soft smile, "You are a good man. I want you to know how hard that is even for me to say because honestly," she shook her head, "I rarely see a good man in my personal life. I wanted for so long to believe you were like all the others. I know I treated you like all the others, which wasn't well, but you have continued to show me time and time again that you are nothing like I expected, nothing like I thought."

Andy reached up and put his hand on hers. He turned slightly and kissed the inside of her wrist, and Sharon then pulled her hand back and looked at him, a sad smile on her face. He shook his head, "I know you've had it rough, that you've been through it, Sharon, with Jack. I know you have lost pretty much all faith and trust in men. I know it's hard for you to believe any guy is a decent guy, but I also know you have a couple really great, decent men in your life. Your dad and Ricky are pretty great, at least I can speak of your dad. I know he's a good man, and I cannot imagine anyone you raised and put forth all that effort is not a good man. I think you have some good ones around you. I know you trust them. You were raised by your dad, and then, you raised Ricky. You know decent men can exist. I'm not arguing that they can't. I guess I find it hard to believe I can be one of the so-called 'good guys' or whatever," he waved his hand. "I've heard from my dad for so long I'm a disaster, I just really think that too."

"Hey," Sharon bit her lip and reached for his hand that was on the bed, near Hannah. She took it and searched his eyes with hers. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, "I've treated you so badly for so long. I know I haven't given you a chance. Honestly," she let out a sigh, "I haven't given you anything but grief, and I'm not proud of myself for that. Seeing your dad today, Andy," she pursed her lips, "something clicked with me. I don't know how to explain it. I saw someone stuck on the past, stuck on the idea people cannot change, stuck on the bitterness. I don't want to be like that. I have been like that. I've been punishing you for anything I can without cause in many cases, and I haven't given you the benefit of the doubt with any of it. Today, I saw a man who was so determined to bring you down for issues you've had in the past, he couldn't see you've addressed so many and are working to be a better man. I wasn't seeing it, not until today, truly. I suppose that I'd been noticing so many of the things, the gestures, you'd done lately to make life better for Hannah and even me, but I wasn't giving you credit for that. I was instead almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to throw up your hands and walk away from her. I suppose, deep down honestly, I am still waiting for that. There's that little twinge of, of," she waved her free hand in the air, "I'm not sure what, but I suppose I have this small thought still that you are too good to be true with Hannah, that you will disappoint me just as I want to trust you with her."

Andy listened, watching her face as she spoke. He looked down when she mentioned waiting for the other shoe to drop, his hand still clasped in hers. When she finished, he squeezed her hand and looked up at her, "Thank you for saying that. I know your life hasn't been easy, still isn't," he nodded toward Hannah. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and believe me, I've met a few," he smiled slightly and then chuckled when she tried to shake her head. "It's true. Take my own mother," he nodded. "You've met my dad, so consider what she must have been like. She was a great mother, so strong, and she'd kill me for saying this, but she doesn't have the inner strength you do. You've been through it and are still fighting, yeah," he gestured with his free hand, "sometimes at the wrong people," he said as he gestured to himself, "but still, you keep going. I know when we first came up with our little idea, it was about as sterile as you can get." He looked down at Hannah, still sleeping and snoring and back to Sharon with a small roll of his eyes, "Okay, that might have been a poor choice of words considering everything. Sterile, in any sense of the word, isn't the right word, but everything was just so calculated, planned. Somewhere in that, even before Hannah, I felt a slight shift. I know just the idea of Hannah then clouded my judgement, but then, seeing her," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "seeing what you'd done-bringing our daughter into this world and ready to raise her on your own," he shook his head. "I'm just so different now, different than I'd ever imagined. All I want to do is be with the two of you, but I know, or so I thought, you could still barely stand to look at me outside of a bedroom, and while you've allowed me to see Hannah more, I feel you still question my intentions with her."

Sharon nodded as she looked at their hands. She looked up at him, and she gave a sad smile, "I did. I did all of that, and I can finally admit, finally see that I'm changing. I want to change. You, Andy Flynn, make me want to believe things can be different."

The two grew quiet, turning their attention to Hannah, who rolled to her side and continued to make her little baby noises between snores. They just listened to her for a couple of minutes, digesting what had been said. Finally, still not looking at each other, Sharon cleared her throat and spoke while still looking at Hannah.

"I used to think that having a father for my kids, even one like Jack, was better than no father at all. I used to think that, I suppose, early on when he was doing his disappearing act. I believed that he would at least step up and do the right thing for them when the time came. He didn't. He missed family events, and he disappointed the kids time and time again. I think that is what really crushed me. He disappointed our kids. They were our kids, and he forgot that, as he was more interested in his personal life-I wouldn't even say personal happiness because I'm not sure he was happy or is now. He was just determined to be anywhere but with us, ultimately hurting all of us. I used to think any dad was better than no dad," she shook her head and closed her eyes. "Then, as they years went on, and he continually disappointed them, I started to believe they'd be better without any idea of him, without expecting him to maybe, just maybe," she emphasized, "being part of their life. I thought that for awhile too, and, then, I hated myself for thinking that, for wishing away a man who'd helped bring two children into the world. I couldn't believe I'd think such a thing, that maybe he could and would change eventually. I told myself that for a long time. Now, still, I'm not sure he will. At some point, though, I told myself that exposing them to Jack-that was something I could never take back, I could never undo the fact they knew their dad, as bad of a father as he was, I couldn't undo that. With Hannah, that's where I wanted to take control of the situation. I wanted to protect her from feeling disappointment, from feeling like her dad didn't love her," she sighed and pursed her lips. "I've always wanted to protect Hannah, all of my kids. After dealing with Jack, I thought the best way to do that was to erase any memory of you, of her father because in my mind, I was stuck on the idea that she was better never knowing her father because my other two were still living with constant disappointments from their father. You've been trying to change that, at least my impression of that. Then, today, I see a father so incredibly disappointed in his son," she shook her head. "My head has been all over the place. Through all of it, I see you. I see you fighting back, fighting against everyone, and it tells me that's who you are, a man of character, a fighter, and I do want you to know, I see that now. You do love your father, even when he continually tries to pull you down, when he continually expresses his disappointment in you. You still try and fight for his affection. With me, you continue to fight for Hannah, for the right to be around her, for the ability to know her. You keep fighting. Jack never, ever once did that. He's never fought-for the kids or for me. You," she gave him a small nod, "I believe you will fight to be in Hannah's life if it's the last thing you do."

He nodded, and he squeezed her hand again, "It's not just Hannah," he said quietly. "In all your talking there," he looked up at her, "and know I am very grateful to hear whatever you are thinking, you keep saying I'll be there for Hannah. I will. I always will. I love her. She's the greatest thing I never knew I would ever have or want," he gave Sharon a small smile. "It kills me that I have already missed so much of her life, kills me. I think about the world she is growing up in, and it almost pains me to think that I won't be able to protect her, that you won't allow it, or something will happen to me. I see these dirt bags we haul in off the street who have harmed beautiful young girls, and my mind goes to her. I think of all my kids, but I think of Hannah so sweet and innocent now. I want to be there for her, but the thing you haven't addressed is that I want to be there for you too."

Sharon glanced at him, and he was looking back at her. She cleared her throat, "You have been there for me, especially recently. Through all of this, I've dictated the terms of our arrangement; I know that," she eyed him and gestured around the room. "I realize that hasn't been fair; I've dictated the specifics of our sleeping together, and I'm sorry. I've made everything on my terms. You've been there for me. I know that. You came all the way to Phoenix to my mother's funeral, and then, you didn't argue when I needed us to sleep together after that, again all on my terms. I know you've been there for me. Lately," she frowned and shook her head, "I suppose I'm just realizing that it can't be all on my terms. I think we have maybe started to figure out what the other needs because we've just been in sync," she looked to him. "I find myself wanting you in my bed more and more lately, and I think we've finally figured out how to make that arrangement work."

"I think it's way more than that, and if you are honest with yourself, Sharon, you know it's more than that too. This isn't just about us having the right chemistry in the bedroom, not anymore. It hasn't been like that for a long time. If you really look at it, you know that. Sharon, it has been wonderful; I could almost say better every time, but I think that's because there are real feelings there, feelings that continue to develop, and as we are with each other more and more, those feelings are intensifying. I think you know that," he lifted his hand to her chin and looked at her. "I've told you I care about you Sharon. I know I do. I don't think this is just about being in sync but developing much deeper feelings for one another."

Sharon watched his eyes, and she slightly shook her head, "I know you care, but I'm not sure I can grasp the full idea of that. I can't do relationships, and I mean, I don't know how to do them. I haven't had a successful one yet."

"Well, no offense, Sharon," he lightly chuckled, trying to break the tension, "we wouldn't be sitting here if either of us had a successful one. I mean, that's kind of the point. It would be one thing if you were a widow or I was, but we both stink at relationships. That doesn't always have to be the case. What I don't want to do is be like my dad, going forward from her. I've realized a lot too with him. He continues to dig up the past. I did it too; I've done it for a long time. It's time I let it go. I cannot change the past, but I've been working to make things better in the future. I can only work on my future, and that's what I'm finally willing to recognize. Looking forward, I want to be the best possible father you could ever imagine for Hannah. I want to be in her life, and I want to be in yours. I'm not asking for some big answer now, but I'm putting it out there."

Sharon nodded at him as he spoke, "I know you want to be in her life. I know. I'm working on that, the idea of letting you in, but it's hard, and some of that, much of that," she corrected herself, "is due to my past. I know I need to not pass that along to you, and I'm going to try harder. I'd ask that you give me time," she said looking at him. "I've watched you with her lately, and it bothers me how I've treated you. I'm trying. As for being in my life," she sighed and looked up at the ceiling, but then she looked back to him and found him looking at her. "I don't know how to do that. I really don't," she gave a small shrug. "After all these years, I know how to be alone. That's what I know. I'm worried that we'll ruin things and that will backfire on Hannah. I enjoy being with you in the bedroom," she admitted and cleared her throat. "I do. Maybe things have been good there because there is something more. I'm not sure yet, but I don't want to let that go."

"We can't just keep sneaking around late at night after I see Hannah to have our good time," he replied to her. "I want more, Sharon. I'm hurting myself if I don't at least tell you that."

She nodded again, her lips pursed, and finally, she shook her head at him and spoke quietly, "I don't know how to do any of this."

"I think you do," he gave her a soft smile. "To start, don't try to do anything extreme. Let's just relax and start talking. Can we do that? For a year and a half, almost two years, Sharon, we've basically fallen into bed when it's convenient. You've assumed I'm going to run off on you and Hannah, and I've assumed you want to continually run off and keep me from Hannah. Let's do nothing, other than to try and just talk. We've figured out we enjoy the physical side, but we have been lousy at the emotional side including communication. We can see how things go from there."

"Hannah has to be our focus," she said, looking down at the sleeping baby.

"Hannah is not only the focus, Sharon, but she's what led us to each other ultimately. Come on," he sighed and shook his head, "I think without her, we would have had our way with each other for a few months, and then, that would have blown up on us. It almost did a few times, but with Hannah here, I know I've kept coming back, and in doing so, I've seen what a wonderful woman you are. At the same time, we have to focus on Hannah, but we have to separately focus on the two of us if we are going to make any changes."

"I've really hurt you," she frowned. "I know that; I've been realizing that. When I look back, I keep trying to find a time you've really hurt me, but you haven't. I am the one," she paused. He took her hand in his.

"Yeah, I've been hurt. I hate I didn't see her born, that I didn't get to hold her then and for every day after that. I hate it. Yeah, I've been hurt, but I've also found joy with you two, and I'm choosing to focus on that, the joy," he said.

"I don't know what to do now," she looked to him.

He looked to her and looked to Hannah. He nodded to Hannah, "We get some rest, real rest tonight," he told her. "We go to bed, here, together, to sleep, to be with each other. Nothing more tonight. I'm going to put Hannah in her crib, and then, we're going to bed. We're going to get up tomorrow and start a new day, trying to trust each other and see where that takes us because that's all we can do for now. No promise, just one foot in front of the other, one day at a time."

She nodded and cleared her throat again, "We can't figure this out this weekend."

"I wouldn't dream of it, of suggesting that," he said. "This isn't going to sort out itself in a day."

"I can't promise anything," she said.

"Just promise we will work together," he looked to her.

She nodded, "I suppose we'll need to talk about you coming to Flagstaff again, maybe soon. I think I'd like that."

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he looked to her, "That's a start, Sharon."


	64. Chapter 64

Sharon shifted the strap on her shoulder, wincing slightly at the weight. Hannah was getting bigger, and Sharon knew she needed to work on the straps of her carrier. It had been great on this trip, and she remembered when she had been almost worried Hannah was so small she could slip out of it. It was crazy to her to believe that now, Hannah was so big, she was putting a strain on Sharon while in the carrier.

"Angela, hi," Sharon gave her a soft smile when the door opened. It was late Saturday afternoon. Sharon and Andy had parted ways earlier in the day after their night at the hotel with Hannah. Nothing had happened, nothing in the bedroom, specifically. It felt odd, but okay to Sharon that Andy had stayed with her and with Hannah all night, and then, this morning, he'd left. The two had talked a long time, and that is why, perhaps it felt odd that nothing more had happened. With Andy, something always happened, and when it didn't, she had been left feeling confused and unattractive. She didn't feel that way today; it was an odd feeling, but she felt okay right now. She felt like they had talked, and then, they had slept together, but just in the idea of next to each other, Andy's arm looping around her. This morning, the three of them had enjoyed a normal, quiet morning. It was still odd, though, the idea that he was staying overnight without more happening. Yes, he'd stayed the other night the first night of her trip, but even then, the intentions had been there. Just when things had started to get heated, Angela had called and then, Hannah had interrupted them too. Had those things not happened, the two would have slept together just as they had plenty of other times. Last night, though, it was different; Andy had stayed all night to sleep-to be with Sharon and Hannah, and he'd left without the two even attempting more.

"Sharon," Angela returned the small smile, "please, come in. Andy's not here yet."

Sharon looked up to Angela in surprise as she stepped into the older home and followed Angela inside. She glanced around, nodding at the surroundings. From the outside, she could tell it was an older home, two stories, just one in a long row of homes all with a similar look. There was a small front porch on the house, and there was also a small front yard. It was not what she'd pictured. She thought maybe Angela lived in a brownstone type of home or even one right on the street, but this one had more of a suburban feel to it.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head as she ran her hand over Hannah's foot that was now kicking at Sharon to keep moving. "I thought Andy would be here by now. He told me to stop over around 4:00," she said, checking her watch and nodding that it was exactly 4:00. "I wouldn't have come now had I known he wasn't here. I don't mean to intrude."

"Nonsense," she patted Sharon's arm. "He should be here soon, and it was my idea to have this little well," she shrugged, "gathering. You're welcome here, Hannah too. She's my niece, after all, and you shouldn't have to ask permission to visit an aunt."

"As long as you are sure I'm not bothering you," Sharon looked to her, a slight question in her tone.

"Sharon, come in and stop asking," Angela smiled as she gestured. "Besides, this gives us a few minutes to talk before Andy gets here. I can tell you all the things he did as a child when he lived here."

"Oh," Sharon's eyes widened as she looked around, "Andy grew up here, in this house? I didn't know that," she winced again when Hannah tried to move.

"Here, come in and let's get Hannah out of that thing," Angela gestured into her living room. Sharon stepped inside, and her eyes widened. "Yes," Angela continued, "this is where we grew up. My dad still owns the house, but after we moved him into the assisted living, Andy and I talked about this house. My dad will never be back here. Honestly, I liked this house better than my own. I decided to move back in here and sell my old place. It was much smaller. Andy told me to keep the house; he doesn't want it, and it's just the two of us now. Then, I started renovating the house, room by room, before I got sick. After I got sick, that was put on hold, but I'm hoping to continue my renovations soon. Luckily, I finished most of the downstairs. I haven't done the half bath down here, but otherwise, it's done. I will then have to do the bathroom down here and the two bathrooms upstairs, along with some flooring, painting, and just general updating upstairs in the bedrooms. Then, I'll be done."

"It looks lovely, very modern," Sharon nodded. "I wasn't really expecting that in a house like this."

"Yes, it's old," Angela chuckled as she spread out a small blanket on the floor. "I should have added that I want to update the outside too eventually, but the inside, it's my taste. Will Hannah be okay on this?"

"Oh, yes," Sharon shook her head, almost missing that Angela had put down a blanket on the hardwood floors. She gave her another small smile, "You did not have to buy her a few toys."

"Ahh, sure I did. It's not much, but I had fun buying a few things for today. Please, sit," she added.

Sharon sat in the chair by the blanket on the floor. She undid the straps on her carrier to free Hannah while Angela sat across from her and watched.

"There you go, my darling," Sharon said as she pulled out Hannah. Hannah started to buck and kick as she was freed. Sharon kissed her head and then put her on the floor. Hannah grabbed for one of the toys and instantly tried to put it in her mouth. Both women laughed.

"Are those things comfortable?" Angela asked, nodding to the carrier Sharon was now folding up to put with her diaper bag.

"Ahh, they are okay. I don't have the expensive, fancy one, and I've read people think those are more comfortable. Honestly, I didn't know if she would like it or if I would like it. It is useful, but I still prefer a stroller when possible. For here, traveling, and for even sometimes on walks, this is better. She's just getting heavy. I can feel it in my shoulders," Sharon explained.

"Well, she sure is beautiful," Angela smiled at her. "I can't believe she will be one before we know it. I've only just met her."

Sharon met her gaze, "I'm glad you met her, that Andy told you about her. I don't have siblings, so there isn't a lot of family on my side. I have my other kids, but they live their own lives. I know Andy told you my mother recently died, and that leaves my dad. I have a dear friend, Gavin, in California, but that's about it, as far as people I'd consider close like family. You are her aunt; that is a fact."

"I know Andy messed up," Angela said and gave Sharon a slight frown. "I know you had, have even, your reasons for having him sign away his rights. I know you don't consider him Hannah's father, but I hope you will maybe reconsider his being in her life. He loves her. I know that, and I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I didn't invite you here to grill you about that. I just know my brother, and while in a way, I'm not surprised he did that, I am surprised too. I believe he was doing what he thought was right at the time. He carries a lot of guilt from our dad."

"Yes," Sharon pursed her lips and nodded. "I did meet your dad, and I saw that. I hope Andy isn't having to endure more of that now."

"Oh, he is," Angela nodded. "Look, I'm not going to sugar coat it. Dad is who he is. He isn't going to change. I'm sure that is why Andy is late now, he's getting an earful from Dad. He told me he was going to check on him, and I just knew he'd go rounds with Dad again. Dad can't see Andy has changed. He probably is using today to chew him out more about Hannah. I try to be honest, so yes, that is more than likely why Andy is late. Be glad you only had to see it yesterday."

"It really opened my eyes," Sharon said as she smiled at Hannah. Hannah started to move around on the floor, a sort of hybrid craw with her one leg up, as she tried to drag the other. The two women laughed at Hannah moving, and Sharon looked back at Angela. "I don't want to do the same, to continually punish people for the past. I realized I've been doing that, and it's not what I want. I also never want to be like that with my kids. I hate he has to deal with that on a constant basis."

"He does," Angela nodded. "He takes the brunt of it. I get the never married type of comments, but those are nothing compared to Andy getting comments about being a drunk loser. That's probably saying it mildly."

Sharon nodded and looked to Hannah, running her hand over her hair. She let out her breath, "Meeting your dad, it gave me some insight to Andy, to why he views himself like that. I see why he was so willing to sign and walk away from Hannah initially. It's almost as if he had told himself-and he had-that it was for the best. I thought that too, that she was better with just me."

"Thought?" Angela asked, hinting to Sharon it sounded past tense.

Sharon met her gaze, "I'm not sure what I think. I know your brother is a good man. I've told him that. Figuring out this," she gestured to Hannah, "is more complicated. It's not just Hannah at stake."

"You mentioned another man in California," Angela eyed her. "Was it serious with him before you got involved with Andy. Maybe involved isn't the right word. I'm not trying to say you are jumping from one man to the other. I know people break up, but you mentioned him," she nodded to Sharon.

Sharon tried to hide her smile, but then, she broke into a full smile, "No, Gavin, ahh, that's not a problem. Gavin will always be a good friend, nothing more. He is definitely not interested in me like that."

Angela smiled when she understood, "Oh, I see. I'm glad you have a good friend like that." She and Sharon chuckled a moment, and then, both looked to Hannah for several seconds.

"I know he cares for both of you, Sharon," Angela told her. "Look," she sighed, "I didn't invite you over here for heavy, deep conversation. I promise you that. Let's try to find a lighter topic. I'll just leave it with this-I know he's physically attracted to you. That's obvious. I mean, to start, Hannah is here. He has been tight-lipped about a lot, but it doesn't take a genius to notice he hasn't come home most nights. So, whatever, it's not my place to judge, and I'm not. I know he's sleeping with you still, and you two will deal with that. Friends, friends with benefits, whatever you two want to call it, it is what it is. I also know you are both smart enough to not want to make this a mess for Hannah, so just know that I like you. I love my brother. I hope you can figure out a solution that works best for you, all of you, and there's no judgement on what that is. Just putting in my two cents that I'd like to be involved in Hannah's life, as her aunt, even if my brother isn't legally her father."

"Well, thank you for that," Sharon listened and nodded at her. "I don't have an answer either. I suppose all I can say is that I never expected any of this. He and I were just in it for a good time from the start. Neither saw the harm in that. Hannah threw me for a loop, and yet, I was fine with her just being mine to raise alone. Now," she grew quiet and just shrugged. The two looked at each other, the only noise coming from Hannah. Angela nodded at Sharon, and Sharon dropped her gaze.

"Let me show you around the house," Angela stood and gestured. "We can take a tour with a stop in the kitchen for a glass of wine. How does that sound? I made my homemade spaghetti for dinner if you are okay with that. Andy enjoys it too, and I have that with a salad. I will throw in the noodles after Andy gets here."

"Oh, I was going to bring dessert!" Sharon suddenly exclaimed. "I know you said not to bring anything, but I had thought I would pick up something."

"I already have Andy stopping at the local bakery," she winked. "What's dinner without a local cheesecake? Now, I have pictures to show you, blackmail pictures," she winked. "Andy will kill me."

Sharon scooped up Hannah as she stood, "This, I need to see."

It was still another half hour before Andy arrived at the house, his face strained, but with cheesecake in hand. He walked in where the two women were sitting again in the living room, talking and laughing over a few pictures. Hannah was back on the floor, enjoying her freedom, as she played with her toys.

"Hey," he called to them as he stepped inside and closed the door. Sharon watched him put down his things, and Angela stood to walk to him. Sharon continued to sit by Hannah. She sipped on her wine, as both women had been doing, and Angela walked to her brother.

"Thanks for getting the cheesecake," she smiled at him. "How is he?"

"His mouth is just fine, still hurling insults," he smirked. "Physically, otherwise," he shrugged, "okay. He's in a little pain, but they have him in physical therapy; it's to be expected."

Angela took the cheesecake from him, "I'm sorry you had to listen to that again. More of the same?"

"Nah," he shrugged, trying to play it off as he explained, "let's see," he put his hand to his mouth. "Oh, today, he shoved a $10 bill in my hand and told me if I would have bought condoms in the first place, I wouldn't be stuck in this 'disaster' as he called it. Now, he said Hannah was sweet, but told me this all could have been avoided. Sharon, you'll love this part too. He said that it could have been even worse, at least with you. You get a lot of credit for being older and having a career. He said he half expected me to have knocked up a dancer or worse-just anyone I fell into bed with at random, someone let's just say not my age range, and well," he nodded, "it got nasty then. So, if I get any points, it's because Sharon is who she is. He said you must be good at your job, your old job, because you gave it right back to him, which reminds me exactly what did you two discuss?"

"Hello to you too," Sharon nodded at him.

Andy closed his eyes and dropped his head. He looked over at them again, "I'm sorry. Thanks for coming Sharon. It's good to see you and Hannah. I appreciate you coming here for dinner."

"I know you are upset," Sharon told him from the living room. "I just wanted you to pause for a moment and breathe. As for your dad, I didn't get into anything in particular. We talked, and I held my ground with him. That's it."

"Well, he likes you and likes Hannah, but he thinks I'm an idiot and caused this mess with you. He also questioned if I had been honest with you about my past, claiming that the only way he believed you would have done anything with me is if I'd lied, so there you go."

"I know about your history," she said.

"It's just more of the same with him," Andy waved off and looked to Angela. "You're visiting Dad tomorrow, not me."

"I will," she squeezed his hand. "Let me put this cheesecake in the refrigerator and get you something to drink. Go in there and sit down. Hannah has been crawling up Sharon, so I'm sure she is ready to play with you."

Sharon and Andy watched Angela walk down the hall, and then, both looked at each other. Andy dropped his head slightly, almost in defeat from his dad, and he walked into the room. Sharon started to stand, and he waved her off.

"Just stay there," he said. "I'd rather sit on the floor by Hannah, near you," he explained.

"Sit on the chair here and relax," Sharon moved quickly, gesturing for Andy to sit there. She moved closer toward Hannah on the floor, and she nodded to the chair. The couch was available, but it was not as close to Hannah. Andy eyed Sharon, and she nodded again. He sank into the chair. Hannah stuffed another toy toward her mouth, and Andy gestured to it.

"My sister get her that?" he asked.

"Good guess," Sharon told him. Andy put his hand up to his face and rubbed it. Sharon watched him, and she slid over toward him, now next to his chair. She put her hand on his knee and squeezed it. He opened his eye and looked down at her sitting there.

"I'm sorry about your dad," she said again. He sighed and sat forward slightly to speak to her. Sharon tilted her head toward the kitchen, and after a moment, she moved toward Andy, now on her knees between his knees. She braced her hands on his knees and leaned toward him, "You are a good man, Andy," she said quietly, her eyes meeting his.

He dropped his head in a sad nod, and she moved her hand to his face. He looked up, and she leaned up to kiss him. Andy let her kiss him a few moments before he returned the kiss, his hands moving to her back to pull her closer. Sharon ran her hands down his chest, and he had his hands up the back of her shirt momentarily before the two pulled apart, their breathing heavy, and they met, their foreheads touching.

"Thank you for saying that," he sighed. "I'm sorry for getting crazy there for a moment," he said, his hands now resting on her hips. "I just have a lot of emotions with my dad."

"I know," she said, the two still very close to each other. She twisted to kiss his neck. "I've had plenty of my own moments, and you've helped relieve that tension. I can help too."

He nodded, his head lowered. She kissed his neck again, and he ran his hands up her back before he looked at her. "If circumstances were different, I might take you upstairs right now," he admitted. "I've about had it today with my dad. I want more out of life. Thank you for coming here today, to my sister's place for dinner. You didn't have to do that."

"Not just your sister's place," she said quietly as she ran her hands along his thighs as she looked at him, "but she told me you grew up here too. She has been showing me old pictures. I can tell you are stressed. You have good reason to be stressed, and I will help you with that later tonight if you want to come by the hotel. You know I'm leaving in the morning. You've really helped me when I've needed it. Let me help you tonight."

He groaned and dropped his head again, nodding at her as she spoke. Andy was about to say something when the two heard, "Andy, want ice with your cranberry juice?"

"Ahh, yeah, thanks, Ang," he called to her. Sharon froze momentarily before she kissed his neck again. Then, Sharon moved from her position, leaning up to Andy from where she was sitting between his legs and back to sitting next to Hannah on the floor. Andy stood to pace the room, his eyes locked on Sharon and Hannah.

Andy just walked, his hands on his face. Sharon watched while he tried to calm himself down. She played with Hannah, and finally, Andy stopped, almost like the frustration was gone, and he focused on them.

"How is she? Did you two have a good day?" he asked, kneeling down to sit on the floor beside them. He sat back against the chair where he'd just been sitting, and he leaned his head back on it, his eyes on Sharon. Hannah moved toward him, and he scooped her up and put her in his lap.

"That's better, much better," he sighed. He reached toward Sharon, his hand running on her knee, and he gave her a soft smile. He used the hand holding Hannah to turn her in his lap.

"Kiddo, what have you been doing with Mom, hmm?" he asked. "Tell me about your day."

"We spent time with Emily," Sharon gave him a soft smile. "I hated saying goodbye to her, but with my early flight, it was for the best. She's at work now, and it will be a late night."

"I get what it's like to say goodbye," he said, leaning over to kiss Hannah's head. "It's never easy; you always want more time. Mmmm, lavender," he sighed. "You've been close to your mom. I can smell her lavender." He looked to Sharon. "I'm glad to see you. This helps take my mind off Dad." He looked at her, their eyes meeting, and neither said anything for a few moments. Finally, she cleared her throat.

"I'm enjoying my visit, here, with your sister. This was a nice idea. I've learned a lot about you," she chuckled. Andy groaned and dropped his head in his hands.

"Ahh, are you telling Andy all the stories I just told you?" Angela asked as she walked into the room. They looked to her as she handed Andy his cranberry juice, and she nodded toward Sharon. "I brought the bottle of wine. I figured we could both use a refill, especially if we are going to tease Andy about his childhood."

"Let's not," he sighed. "Let's just play with Hannah."

"Well, that's fun, but telling stories about you is even better," Angela winked at Andy. "Sharon, I found a picture of him when he was about her age," Angela stood and walked back into the kitchen.

"I'd love to see it," Sharon stood quickly to follow her.

"I'm sure she will bring it here," Andy called to her.

"Hmm, well," she shrugged and followed Angela.

Angela turned to see Sharon, "Oh, I was going to bring the photo. It's hanging down the hall, but he isn't much older than Hannah in it. I forgot it was here." She pointed to the picture on the wall, and Sharon started to shake her head and chuckle.

"I keep saying she looks just like him," Sharon crossed her arms and shook her head. "That's been hard, actually," she admitted and continued, "looking at her constantly and seeing Andy. He doesn't see it."

Angela turned to Sharon, "What does he say-that she looks like you? Sharon nodded, and Angela continued, "Sharon, that's what he wants to see," she reached over and squeezed Sharon's hand. "He looks at her and wants to see you in her. She looks like he does, and he can't see that. He sees himself as a failure. You and I know he's not. He looks to her and wants to see you, the woman he finds himself drawn to more and more, the woman who brought this beautiful little girl into the world and will raise her alone if you shut him out. Sharon, he sees that, and knowing my brother, he just wants to see that, the woman he adores, in that beautiful little girl."


	65. Chapter 65

She kept her hand on her bag, unsure of what she wanted to do. She watched as Andy said goodbye to Hannah; it was time to go back to Arizona. The trip had been eye-opening on so many levels, yet, she still had this mess on her hands, no real closure or solution in front of her. Sharon focused, a small smile as she looked at Andy holding Hannah close, his hand on the back of her head. She listened as he spoke softly to her like she was able to understand and comply.

"Now, you be good on the plane. Don't stress out your mom or be a problem. Flash that gorgeous smile so everyone wants to sit by you. Be good for your grandpa too when you stay with him tonight. Know I love you, and I will think of you every minute until I see you again," she heard him tell her. She almost teared up and shook her head to shake away those feelings, the taxi ready and waiting to take her to the airport. Jack had never been like that with Emily or Ricky, and here was this man, Andy, a many she barely knew on a personal level before all of this, a man now, who still perplexed her and raised so many concerns with her. She cleared her throat, and Andy glanced at her. Andy. The man in front of her stirred up so many emotions, many of which she truly couldn't identify or grasp at the moment. It had been a good trip for her, for Hannah, and she though, or rather, she hoped she had been of some help and comfort to Andy. He turned to her, Hannah in his arms.

"I know you need to go," he sighed. She glanced at the taxi, parked here in front of the hotel, waiting, but clearly ready to go. Had she been flagging on down just on the street, it would have left by now, but thankfully, this one had been called by the hotel. It had taken a moment for her to put in Hannah's car seat, but she had, and Andy had those few seconds to say goodbye to Hannah. "I'll put her in her seat," he said and moved to the car. Sharon walked up behind him while he secured Hannah. Her hand stayed on her purse, and when he stepped out of the car, Sharon nodded to him.

"I hope we have been helpful and not hurtful on this trip. I'm sorry introducing Hannah and even me to your father has caused so much turmoil," she nodded to him.

He gave a slight shrug. One almost might think he didn't care, but she knew otherwise; she knew the toll this had taken on him just these last few days. She almost couldn't imagine a lifetime of it. She looked into his eyes, "It needed to be done. It's my life to live, and you and Hannah, like it or not, are part of that. He liked you both; he just added all of this to the list of disappointments with me. I'm really glad you came. It meant a lot, Sharon, really. Be safe going home," he said as he lightly put his hands on her shoulders, his thumb running over each shoulder. "Please, if you don't mind, call me or at least let me know when you land."

She nodded and looked to the ground, the lengthy eye contact almost hard to do. When she looked back up at him, she gave him a small smile, "I will. I need to go."

He nodded again and stepped back to allow her to move into the car, "Look, in all this time we had here, all the time we had to talk, we still never discussed a time I could see Hannah again. I want that. I want to see both of you."

As she was about to step into the car, she nodded again and let out her breath, "Okay, right," she shook her head. "I know you want to see Hannah." The last weekend in July," she started and pursed her lips, "that's always ahh, ahh, a rough weekend for me; it was my anniversary. I try to push it out of my head, but it's hard to wipe that out, years later. Still," she shrugged, "I don't know if you are free."

He closed his eyes and lightly shook his head, "You're kidding, right?" Sharon's eyes widened, and he opened his eyes to explain, "My anniversary was July 26."

"July 29," she nodded and pursed her lips.

"Doesn't surprise me," he sighed. "I'll clear it with work, but thank you," he nodded. "Sounds like a good reason for a visit," he said with a small smile. "We can work out the details."

Sharon nodded again, her eyes searching his. She decided quickly, without another thought and pulled out the envelope from her purse. She handed it to him, "I hope you have a good day today and don't have to deal with your dad, even with it being Father's Day," she gave a slight roll of her eyes. "This is just something you can look at later."

He eyed the small envelope, took it, and he gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

"I have to go," she repeated and looked to the taxi. She turned back, and without a second to prepare, Andy kissed her on the cheek. "Be safe with Hannah."

"Bye," she said quietly, returning the kiss to the cheek, and then, she slipped into the taxi. He closed her door, and she gave him a small wave as the taxi pulled away. She glanced slightly back as the car moved, and his eye caught hers. He gave her another small wave. She sat back in her seat and let out a long sigh; she was drained. She looked over at Hannah, so awake and alert for this early in the morning. It was 6:30, and they had a flight to catch. Their flight was just after 10:00, but with traffic and a baby, she needed time to get there, get situated, and get something to eat. Besides, it was Father's Day, and she didn't want to deal with that awkwardness with Andy more than necessary. She'd left him with a card of sorts, and for now, she couldn't handle more. She sighed again and grabbed Hannah's foot, playing with it so the baby started to giggle. She had a lot of frustrations, and she also still had a lot of questions.

She sat back and started to reflect on things. While some areas had more clarity, others had more questions. A simple sleeping arrangement with Andy had blow up on them to create this crazy mess. She glanced at Hannah, a product of the sleeping arrangement, and she smiled at her daughter. Oh, that child looked so much like Andy. Sharon thought about that, about what Angela had said, _"He looks to her and wants to see you, the woman he finds himself drawn to more and more, the woman who brought this beautiful little girl into the world and will raise her alone if you shut him out. Sharon, he sees that, and knowing my brother, he just wants to see that, the woman he adores, in that beautiful little girl."_

Sharon thought more about that, about how Andy didn't want to see himself in Hannah. She understood that, and honestly, she hadn't wanted to see him in her either, but she did. She saw Andy, and on this trip, she saw another side of Andy, one that made her respect him more. He was a good man. She'd told him that often these last few days, and she believed it. After everything the two had gone through together, she knew he was a good man. He loved Hannah, and she was slowly seeing she could trust him more and more, maybe to the point of trusting him completely around Hannah. She wasn't there yet, but he was trying, more than any man she'd met, and she respected that.

On a side note, she wasn't sure what was going on with him, with them, really, in the bedroom. That was frustrating her, not that they hadn't enjoyed themselves on the trip, but she could feel things had changed in that area. She wasn't sure what she felt about it now. She wondered if Andy was having some mixed feelings too because it hadn't gone well the night before. After a lovely evening at his sister's place, she had invited Andy back to the hotel room for the night, promising to help him relax. He'd helped her plenty of times, and she wanted to help him too. Plus, it was enjoyable for both, and that was always okay with her. It was also their last night together, at least for awhile, and she wanted to take advantage of that, knowing that she didn't have this arrangement with any other man. She didn't want that; Andy was safe, comfortable. The three had gone back to the hotel, and Andy had been great tending to Hannah. He'd helped with her bath, had sat with her while she finished her bottle, and the two had stayed there in the dark room while Hannah drifted off to sleep. It was the plan, at least so Sharon thought, that they would then have some time together. While waiting for Hannah to fall asleep, both Sharon and Andy had stretched out on the bed. When she was sure she heard Hannah snoring, she'd reached for Andy and had moved closer to him, rolling toward him to start kissing him. He'd reciprocated, and the two had gotten into a rather heated make-out session there in the room. Things had started to get more and more intense; she'd noticed that lately. Something was different with that, and she couldn't put her hand on it. The mood was right. The room had been really dark, with just the sounds of Hannah's snores and the two kissing audible in the room. Just as it was about time for clothing to be removed, Andy pulled back from Sharon.

 _"I can't do this. I'm sorry; it's just not happening," he told her and rolled to the side where he sat up and looked away from her. It was hard to see, and she moved to wrap her arms around him from behind, kissing his neck._

 _"Andy, it's okay. Look, this is whatever you want. I thought you would enjoy this, that we would enjoy this," she said and kissed his neck again. "We always do. This, this is good between us, easy for us." Her hands moved up under his shirt, and he stilled them, shaking his head. "It's just not happening, Sharon," he sighed. "It's not you. It's just the timing, just not now, maybe later."_

 _Andy stood and walked around the room. Sharon pursed her lips and watched as he turned on the light and moved into the bathroom. She looked around the room now, the dim light from the bathroom illuminating some of the room. He'd had a rough day; she knew that, and maybe he just needed time to process everything. She moved off the bed, intent on getting her things for bed. If this wasn't going to happen, she was going to get some sleep. She didn't know if Andy was staying or going, really if he'd come over to help with Hannah or be with her-or both, but this wasn't what she'd thought. She heard Andy running the water and assumed he was brushing his teeth, and with that assumption, she figured he was staying the night. Sharon started to ruffle through her bag. She paused when she heard Hannah moving, hoping she hadn't been too loud to wake her. After Hannah seemed to settle again, she looked through her bag and found the new lingerie she'd bought, not with Emily, but yes, while in New York. She really hadn't traveled here with Andy in mind, the trip coming up as she was already in Phoenix. She quickly slipped into the simple, navy blue chemise. It had a slight pattern to it and had a lower cut that she normally would have bought, but she'd bought it because it made her feel attractive and seemed to hide her extra weight well. Andy had said maybe later; she still had hours before her trip, so she was hopeful this would be appreciated later._

 _Several minutes later, Andy opened the door as she was folding her clothing. She turned to him, and he eyed her. She could see it and feel his eyes grazing over her, every inch. The light was still just enough from the bathroom she could see him raise an eyebrow at her. She gave him a small shrug, "Yes, it's new. I bought it here," she said, almost answering an unspoken question. He walked to her and rested his hands on her hips, running his fingers over the silky material._

 _"I'm sorry; I think the stress of everything is just getting to me right now. I'm exhausted in more ways than one," he admitted._

 _She grasped his arms and nodded, "I just want to help. I thought that might help."_

 _He nodded, and their eyes met again. Both moved to each other and kissed, his hands running up and down her side. He pulled away again, "Being here helps. It does."_

 _She nodded and gestured to the bathroom, "I'm going to get ready for bed, then."_

 _"I'm glad to be here with both of you tonight, Sharon," he said. She squeezed his arms and disappeared. Andy was almost asleep when she came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. She patted his arm when she climbed into bed, and he, on his side away from her, reached over and squeezed her hand. It took her a long time to fall asleep as she listened to the two snoring right near her. Finally, she drifted off, but not for long. She sat up and glanced at the clock just after 4:00 AM, surprised that when she did that, Andy reached over for her._

 _"I didn't mean to wake you," she told him quietly as she got resettled. He shifted and moved closer to her, putting his arm around her waist. He kissed her shoulder._

 _"Been awake for awhile," he grumbled. "I have a lot on my mind."_

 _Sharon shifted, rolling to her side, to look at Andy, even though it was dark. He put his hand up in her hair and brushed it out of her face. Andy leaned in and kissed her tenderly, and she returned the kiss. They repeated that for the next few minutes, until things started to get heated again. As Sharon started to shift, Andy tugged at her, and she rolled toward him, her chest on his. They continued to kiss, and again, Andy stopped her as things started to progress._

 _"This is a disaster," he said, clearly irritated, as he moved away from her again. He sighed and stood up before Sharon knew what was happening. "This isn't how I wanted the night to go."_

 _Sharon just nodded, not sure what to do after being rejected again. He'd even been the one to initiate it this time, which left her more confused. She cleared her throat, "Ahh, I'm going to just try and sleep a little more before my alarm goes off." She rolled to her side, away from him._

 _"Yeah," he sighed. "Get some rest. I think I'll get a shower. I've been up this long," he grumbled. Sharon watched as he turned on the bathroom light. She slumped back onto the bed and closed her eyes. She wouldn't sleep either; she'd analyze every movement and wonder what had gone wrong._

Now, on her ride to the airport, she was still doing that, analyzing every moment. They had a complicated relationship, putting it mildly. They were hot and cold, hot again, hot again, and then cold. Andy had wanted to stay with her last night. She didn't understand it. Both knew what the night's expectations were. That was always assumed, always even clear to them. It was their relationship. Even the night before, when he'd stayed, he'd been clear about the expectations-nothing happening, just sleep. Last night, she'd suggested more, and he'd come back to the room. Two attempts and nothing. She didn't know what the problem was, and she didn't want to ask. She told herself he had a lot on his mind, but still. He'd told her he was having trouble separating feelings from just a good time, yet, he'd come to the room. She knew she needed to address this with him, but it wasn't the time, not when she had an early morning flight and on Father's Day even. All she knew now was that she was glad she'd come to New York. Her goal had been to support and help Andy, in all ways possible. She'd done that. Somewhere, though, in all of that, signals were still getting crossed. What she wanted didn't seem to be what Andy wanted, even though he'd come back to the room with her. She was trying to be open with him; it was hard, but she was trying. They'd talked the night before, and she'd admitted she knew he was trying to be a solid man for her, a man who didn't walk away. She knew that, and she thought that even with all of their complicated mess, they still could share their time in the bedroom. Perhaps, she had it all wrong.

Her phone alerted her to a text, and as she opened it, she saw it was from Andy. It was a new message, and before she read that, she ran her hand over the picture he'd texted her the night before. It was a picture of the three of them together, a rare picture indeed. She didn't have pictures with Andy and Hannah. He'd wanted to take one of the three of them last evening before leaving Angela's house. Angela had been in the kitchen, and they were in the living room playing with Hannah. Angela had insisted they spend time with Hannah, and he'd eyed Sharon.

 _"_ _I want to remember this," he smiled at her. "Let's take a picture, the three of us."_

 _"_ _I'll get one of the two of you," Sharon offered instead._

 _"_ _Nah, all three of us," he shook his head. "No big deal. Ang is busy, just us."_

So, he'd taken one, and as she looked at it again now, she could see it was a decent picture. Hannah had been caught in a laugh, standing on Andy's legs, and Andy had his arm up behind her on the chair they were leaning against. She looked at the picture a few more moments before glancing at his text.

"Really appreciate the note and the things from the hospital. You have no idea what that means to me. Be safe. Thanks again for coming here. You helped me a lot," he told her. She nodded reading that. The note. She didn't want him to open that around her, so she'd waited until she was in the car to hand it to him. The note was just that, a note. She couldn't find any card appropriate to the situation, and she'd tried to be prepared because originally, he had planned to visit her in Arizona this weekend. So, she'd agonized over what to do, what sort of card to get. She'd finally decided on a simple, blank card with a handwritten note, and she'd had that silly note in her purse for over a week now. She wasn't sure why, but apparently, it was meant to be.

 _"_ _Andy, I realize you don't have anything from her birth or know anything about it. Here's a copy of her footprints taken in the hospital, along with her hospital baby picture. I thought you might like to have these things. -Sharon," she had written to him._

Now, it was obvious he'd read the note and was happy with what she'd given him. To try and put some closure to the trip, she called him quickly.

"Sharon," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," she waved her free hand and then rested it on Hannah. "Listen, about the note-" she let it hang there, now suddenly not sure why she'd called.

"Thanks," he said. "It means everything." She let out her breath, and Andy spoke again "Today, today is a day, hard for many people for so many different reasons. Listen, I'm really glad I was able to see you both this morning. You focus on your flight, on seeing your dad. Enjoy your dinner with him tonight. I'm already working on my plans for the end of July."

"Okay," she said, almost breathless and sighed. "If something gets in the way, it's okay; you don't have to worry about the trip."

"I'll be there, Sharon," he said.

"Okay," she nodded to herself, aware the taxi driver was listening to every word. She rolled her eyes at herself as she said the next thing, "Ahh, do you want to stay at my place, my apartment, I mean, with us?" She felt like an idiot, stumbling over her words, but she wasn't sure what he was thinking or feeling now. She continued quickly before he could even answer, "You're welcome to stay with Hannah and me. It's small, just the two bedrooms, hers and mine. I know you've stayed at the hotel before. I don't know what you want to do or if you are interested-" she stopped because he interrupted her.

"Sharon, yes, thank you. I'd really like that, to stay with both of you. I'll be there, just as long as I can confirm with work. I'm really looking forward to the weekend, and we can work out the details later," he said.

"Okay," she said, again, letting out a long sigh. "I'll let you go, then. Try to enjoy your day even with your dad, there. I hope he gets back on his feet soon."

"Thanks for calling, Sharon," he said.

She looked at Hannah, and she looked up at the taxi driver, who didn't seem interested in her conversation. Hannah was dozing, and Sharon leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He hadn't turned her down for the trip. He was coming to see them, and she felt that putting it out there, the bedroom situation, made it clear her intentions. He'd been okay with that, so she needed to let the night go; it was a fluke, just Andy stressed about too much. He'd visit. They would spent time with Hannah during the day, and at night, she hoped they could get back to their original arrangement. More was at stake, yes. She was trusting him more and more. She didn't know what that would mean for the future, but she knew they had a good chemistry. They could build on that.


	66. Chapter 66

He'd been there now about an hour. He knew she had to work. That was fine; he was just excited about the weekend. As Andy had driven into town, he thought about waiting at the college, Sharon's work, but he decided to just wait at her apartment complex. He would have to wait in the parking lot, but it was okay. He'd taken the day off and told Sharon he should be there by dinner. Andy had been so excited, he'd left much earlier in the morning than planned and was now there earlier than expected. He drummed his fingers on the console and tried to relax. He really should have brought a book to read, but in reality, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay focused. He had an entire weekend ahead of him, time with Sharon and Hannah. He'd been waiting for it now for a month.

Andy almost flew out of the car when he saw Sharon pull in and park. She hadn't noticed him, as she had come from a different direction, but he spotted her car and got out quickly to greet her.

"Hi," he smiled as he approached her. He'd parked under a tree, and while it was incredibly hot, he'd waited in his car with the engine running. Now, outside, the heat was really hitting him. Sharon looked up as she was closing her door.

"Hi," she gave him a soft smile. "You're early. I didn't see you get here."

He nodded, "Yeah, late night at work. I know I told you I was going to get some sleep, but," he shrugged and met her gaze, "couldn't sleep."

She nodded and met his glance, "It's good to see you."

"You too, Sharon," he smiled and gestured to the car. "How's the walking, talking machine?" Andy grinned.

Sharon tried to hold back her smile, but she nodded and smiled, "She's good. I wouldn't say she's a walking and talking machine," she chuckled. "Her words aren't really words, just sounds still, and walking, well," she shrugged, "still along the furniture."

"Okay if I get her out?" Andy asked. Sharon nodded and opened the door.

"Of course," Sharon said. "Let me get my briefcase and her diaper bag before we go inside."

"Kiddo," Andy grinned as he put eyes on his 11 month old daughter. She was looking around, and she turned to him at the sound of his voice. "Maaaaaaaaa," she yelled. Andy chuckled at her as he unbuckled her to pull her out. Hannah had started talking. She wasn't saying a lot yet, but her favorite word seemed to be, "Ma," for Sharon, but what was funny was that she would hang onto the "A" and draw it out. She'd yell it too, almost in a demanding tone. Andy kissed her head and stood up with her in his arms. Sharon was there waiting, briefcase and diaper bag in hand. "You know, it's one thing to hear her starting to talk on a video chat, but it's another to be here in person with her. She's demanding with that "Ma," isn't she?"

Sharon chuckled and nodded, "She is demanding with that voice."

"Why the yelling?" Andy asked looking at Hannah. She was looking between them, her hand in her mouth. He grinned at Hannah, "Kiddo, no need to yell." He looked back at Sharon, "Her hair is getting longer."

Sharon nodded as she closed up the car and gestured to her apartment, "It is. I have to admit I cut her bangs the other day. I can't believe I gave her a haircut, and she's not even one! Emily didn't need that until she was much older."

The two walked with Hannah in Andy's arms. She looked over at Sharon, "Maaaaaaaa," she called to her and started to laugh, smacking her small hand on Andy's shoulder. He kissed her cheek as they walked.

"How was your drive?" Sharon asked, unlocking her door.

"Good, actually, "he nodded. "Oh, I need to get my things out of the car. I'll go back in a few minutes. How was work?"

"I have a rather large class for a summer session, so I'm told," she explained. "It's good. I have several taking the class just for a quick credit, and I believe they are surprised to find there's actual work involved."

"I'm sure you don't mind bursting their bubble," he grinned at Sharon when she moved to the side to allow him into the apartment.

"I believe she needs to be changed," Sharon made a face, and Andy nodded.

"Noted. I was worried you'd changed your shampoo or something," he winked and walked ahead of Sharon, looking back at her. "Okay if I change her?"

"Please," Sharon nodded as she put down her bags. She turned to follow him down the hall, and Andy got to work in Hannah's room. He glanced up when Sharon walked to the doorway to stand there. She crossed her arms, and Andy gave her a small smile.

Sharon cleared her throat, "As far as staying here, I wanted to give you a few options." Andy looked up at her, slightly confused. She was looking down at her shoes, her arms still crossed as she spoke, but then, she looked up at him. Their eyes met, and she continued, "I know we've been talking a lot this last month, but I also know that things didn't end well between us," she gestured, "and thought you might like some space. I don't know," she shook her head and shook her head. "I can stay in here with Hannah, and you can have my room. You can stay in here. We can talk about the living room. I suppose we can talk about other options too," she said as she rambled. "We should discuss it."

Andy, who had been listening, finished changing Hannah's diaper. He snapped up her little romper and picked her up as he turned back to Sharon. "Yeah, we should discuss it." He put Hannah up by his shoulder, and she started to buck at him. He looked down and put her down on the floor by one of her toys. She quickly moved toward it, leaving the two adults standing there looking at each other. "Do I get another option?"

Sharon tilted her head to look at him, a questionable glance on her face. She gestured with her hand, "I don't, I mean," she sighed. "Andy, I know this isn't working for you. I'm trying to be respectful and just tell myself you are here to see Hannah."

He frowned and stepped toward her just to talk. There had been quite a bit of space between them. He gestured between them again, "I think we need to talk."

"Okay," Sharon clasped her hands and briefly glanced to Hannah who was excited for her freedom as she crawled around on the floor. "We can talk."

"Look," Andy gestured with his hand, "I didn't want to get into this on the phone. I know we are both aware the last night in New York didn't go as either of us imagined. I'm sorry about that. It was my fault."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I shouldn't have persisted."

"No," he shook his head again. "I'm glad you did. I wanted it to happen, even if you don't know that. I should have discussed it then because I'm worried you've been analyzing it for the last month. The fact is I have had a lot of stress."

Sharon pursed her lips, "I know. I realize that, and I'm sorry for making it worse. Everything I'm doing, I know it's making it worse. I've thought a lot about it the last month. I'm going to-" she stopped when he reached for her arm and nodded at her.

"Please, can I explain?" Andy asked. Sharon eyed him and nodded. He let out his breath, "I've had a lot of stress. My dad has always been a source of that, but in his old age, it's like he isn't holding back anymore. He tells me exactly what he thinks constantly. I'm stressed about my kids-my older kids," he clarified. "I've been working on that for a long time, and it's just not what I want. I've been stressed at work. Chief seems to go from one mess to another. That doesn't even address things with Hannah and you. It's like the one thing I don't want to be stressed about, but I have been. I want that to change. I'm stressed just trying to muddle through this, trying to find my footing with you and Hannah. I've been stressed about my sister and her health. I feel like I need to carry the burden, carry the load for a lot of people. What I'm trying to say is that all of that has been affecting me and my health. That last night in New York," he dropped his head and shook it. "That was about my final straw. I was worried I was going to walk myself into a heart attack along with other issues, one which came to light that night. I saw my doc when I got back to Los Angeles. He first listened and suggested some medication. I'm hesitant to take anything like that, especially for anxiety, when I'm an addict. I don't want to go down that road. I realize medication is necessary sometimes, but I'm going to avoid it if I can. I explained my recent problem, a problem I had with you. Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm getting older. Doc said that too, and with that factor, the stress factor, everything really, he suggested some pills that might help."

Sharon's eyebrows rose as she slightly shook her head, "Pills-you just said you were worried about pills with addiction."

Andy held up one hand, "I'm not talking about daily pills," he shook his head. He pursed his lips, "Little blue pills, to help," he eyed her. "I've heard Provenza talk about them for years. Doc thinks it will help, and that was really the problem and what I wanted you to know."

Sharon looked at him, her eyes wide. She shook her head, surprised he was telling her this. She hadn't even considered that. She cleared her throat and looked to him. Andy hadn't taken his eyes off her, and she pursed her lips, "So, that was-" she paused and glanced to a Hannah and back to Andy. "Well, I mean, is it helping? I'm not sure what to say, but is it helping?"

He rolled his eyes at her, "I don't know. I haven't taken any of it yet, no reason to do so, or what I should say is that I haven't been with you since then. Just saw the doc again last week, and he prescribed them. Doc asked me to report back," Andy said rather stately and eyed her.

"You haven't used them?" Sharon repeated.

"You act surprised," he said to her. "Look, it's an 'in case I need them' type of thing. I'm hoping that with my stress level getting under control I won't need them all the time, but no, I haven't. Sharon, I'm not sleeping around; I haven't for quite some time. I thought we were beyond thinking that. So, if you are asking, are you?"

Her eyes snapped up at him, "No," she shook her head quickly. "We just haven't defined things, haven't, haven't," she sighed. "I thought you wanted to step back from anything with me."

"Far from it-haven't defined things," he grumbled, stepping toward her, now his hand resting on her arms. Hannah started to babble, and the two turned toward her. "I mean, look at her," Andy nodded to Hannah. "Like I said, I was an idiot that night and didn't talk about it. I was embarrassed. You looked so amazing, and I couldn't offer a thing. I'm here now. I've come prepared with my pills if I need them," he winked. "I want to suggest an alternative sleeping arrangement, Hannah in here," he pointed to the room and continued, "you and me back there," he pointed toward Sharon's room. He added, "I've tried to walk away, Sharon. I have tried to just keep it separate, to keep Hannah out of it. Problem is that I can't. I want it all, Hannah and you."

Sharon's eyes darted, searching his. She bit her lip, her arms still at her side. She shook her head at him, "I should have said something too. I've thought a lot this last month about that night. I know I'm not young, not attractive, and I figured that was the problem. I never imagined it was more of a medical problem," she dropped her head and shook it.

"I should have said more. Look, for the longest time, we have been back and forth, one step forward, three back. It's been draining. I've been trying to figure you out, and you've been stuck on the two of us just sleeping together, nothing more. I've told you I want more. I'm telling you again and explaining why things were off in New York," he explained, dropping his head to meet her gaze.

She shook her head, "I've been so insensitive and tried to deny everything. I know that; it's been an eye-opening month here for me to think and analyze. I know there's more between us; I know. I say that and tell myself to believe it, and then, I start to doubt. I analyze any little thing and can't change my focus."

Andy ran his thumb over her shoulder and put his hand on her chin "Hey," he looked at her and gave her a small smile. "I've been so excited to come here, to be with you, to see you and Hannah. This is where I want to be, Sharon. I'm tired of the stress. I want to be here this weekend."

Sharon met his gaze, "I don't want another man here. I've missed you; I've missed you a lot this month. I've enjoyed talking to you on video chats all the time with Hannah, and I realized that I just like being around you, all the time. I'm really trying to trust you. You have given me no reason to doubt that, and it's taken me a long time to acknowledge that. Andy, I want you here too. In my mind, I had worked though all the various scenarios for you to stay here this weekend. You, in my room, that is what I want too. I want to trust you and move forward. I don't want you trying your pill out with anyone else," she said, bringing her arms up to grasp his. She looked at him, "You really haven't?"

"Sharon," he frowned "why would I? I'm so attracted to you. You and I made that gorgeous girl over there," he nodded. "In my eyes, I think we can work on a pretty good gig here. I promise you that the pills have not been used yet for effectiveness," he winked at her.

She moved her hands to his dark purple polo shirt and moved her hand to the buttons, "I found myself thinking of you a lot this month, thinking back on everything together. I can't promise I'm over my insecurities; I know I'm not, but I am working on it. I want this to be a good weekend."

"Me too," he looked at her, the two not saying anything for a few moments.

Hannah squealed again, "Maaaaaaa," and the two locked eyes and chuckled slightly.

Andy put his hand on the side of her face, "I've been wanting to kiss you since I got here," he leaned in, and the two kissed. Sharon moved her arms, and he moved his, resting his on her hips. She put hers up around his neck. "I definitely want more of that later. I'm sorry I shut down and didn't tell you in New York."

She shook her head, "I think we need to focus on now. I've been doing a horrible job with my emotions and with discussing anything with you. If you need some feedback for your doctor," she grinned at him, "I'm happy to help. I'm sorry you've been so stressed, but I'm proud of you for addressing your medical concerns. Getting older," she sighed.

He ran his hands up her side as he looked at her, "You have nothing to complain about on that front," he winked. "I definitely don't think you've had problems in that area."

"True," she nodded, "but I have my own issues with other things. I can't drop weight like I did when I was younger. That's not like your problem, but it's one I have."

"You're beautiful, Sharon," he said, leaning to kiss her neck. "How about we work on moving forward this weekend?"

Sharon looked up at him, "Trusting you in my life, in Hannah's life, in our lives," she corrected herself, "it's not easy, but I've been thinking of the alternative this month." She frowned, "I've lived the alternative for a long time, trusting no one. I have realized that I have to try," she nodded. "I want to try, and you continue to be there for me. You're a good man, Andy," she smiled softly at him. "I want to try."

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "How about I get my bag and stay then, with you," he added, "for the weekend? We can spend time with the screamer," he nodded back to Hannah. "At night, we can see if I need those pills, deal?" She gave him a soft smile and moved her hands back to his shirt. He chuckled, "Look, just to clarify, I'm very attracted to you. Doc and I talked about how the pills have nothing to do with want or desire. I just might need that extra boost, so to speak. I think you are so attractive. That's not my problem. Tonight, later, we can just relax, hmm? We're talking, and I think we are taking a step forward. Now, we just need to relax."

"I intend to try," she said and let out a long breath. Andy slowly kissed her, the two wrapping their arms around each other.

"I'll get my things," he said between kisses. He pulled back and kissed her quickly as he darted out of the room.

"What's the hurry?" Sharon called to him.

"Forgot something in the car," he yelled back. Sharon looked down at Hannah, sighed, and she picked her up to follow Andy.

Andy moved quickly to his car and then back to the house with his things in hand. As he walked in the door, he paused to smile at the sight of Sharon, bouncing Hannah on her hip as she walked her around the living room. She hadn't heard him enter the apartment.

"We are going to have fun with Andy this weekend," she said to her sweetly as she bounced her. Andy smiled softly as he watched. "Andy is going to play with you. I never thought I'd be so glad he's here."

Andy cleared his throat, and Sharon spun around, a little surprised. "Sorry," he raised his hand, and Sharon gestured to it. Andy winked, "A guy has to bring a girl he likes flowers," he shrugged slightly. "I'd say it's long overdue."

"You didn't just get those," she pursed her lips, walking toward him. "You had those in the car?"

"Today," he nodded. "I got them today when I got to town, oh, and this," he opened his bag and pulled out a box. "I heard you like milk chocolate, and I hope it's not already melted."

She closed her eyes trying to hold back her laugh. She met his gaze, "I'd say you had good information. Wait, did you get those where I work?"

"Flowers from a flower shop are pretty standard," he nodded. "Hey, I'm not in town often, but I heard there was a great flower shop. Don't worry because I didn't tell them who I was or anything."

"I just want to," she shook her head. "I want to adjust to things right now. The flowers are lovely," she said. Hannah yelled out again.

"Maaaaaaaaa," she said and patted Sharon's face with her hand.

Sharon chuckled, "Hannah likes the flowers too. Thank you," she said again. "Look, for tonight, I didn't know how things would go. I was afraid we'd have some tension, so I didn't make any grand plans for dinner."

"Perfect," Andy said, moving further into the room. Sharon reached for the flowers, a lovely mixed bouquet, and he carried his bag and the candy. "How about you let me take care of you?"

"You just said you are stressed worrying about everyone else," she pointed out to him.

"You are here, alone, a single mom, taking care of the screamer there. I'd like to do dinner, take out. It's not a big deal," he shrugged."Plus, taking care of you isn't stressful. Agonizing over you, over what is going on between us, now that is stressful."

"Thank you for the flowers," she smiled at him. "They are lovely. If you pick up dinner tonight, I am going to make dinner tomorrow, something more romantic maybe, after we get a certain someone to bed."

"I like how you think," he said, giving her the candy too as she handed Hannah to him.

With Hannah in one hand, Andy unzipped the top of his bag with his other while Sharon took the flowers to her kitchen. He held up the packaging and called to Sharon, "Sharon, I just wanted to assure you of this."

Sharon gave him a puzzled look as she walked back to him, and he held up the package again, "I promise there's no one else. See, I haven't even opened them."

Sharon put her hand on his and looked to him, standing up on her toes to kiss him, "Thank you. I do trust you, mainly because you constantly reassure me. I promise you that I've had no one else here either. For one thing," she said quietly as she chuckled slightly, "I've been an emotional mess around you. Could you imagine juggling anyone else?"

Andy softly chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her to his side. He kissed Hannah's cheek and then Sharon's lips when she looked up at him.

"It's going to be a good weekend," he sighed. "I really think we're making progress, Sharon."

"I'm trying, and I know you are, so much, so much," she sighed.

Hannah, in Andy's arms, started to kick at him and pointed to the floor, Ki, Ki, Ki," she yelled, wanting to get down. Andy glanced down and almost jumped.

"Is that a cat?" Andy asked.

Sharon's eyes widened, and she looked to Andy. "Yes, it's a cat. I can't believe I forgot he's here."

"When did you get a cat? I didn't know you had a cat," he said.

"I didn't," she scowled.

"Well, a cat is walking around in your apartment, and Hannah is trying to get to it. Seems like you have a cat," he smirked at her. "Plus, you just said you forgot he was here, so obviously, you brought a cat here. So, Hannah now knows cat?"

She rolled her eyes, "That's her new word or attempt at a new word. I was at work a couple days ago. This stray cat showed up," she gestured. "Helen, my boss, wanted to feed it, and she took Hannah with her to check on the cat. Anyway, Hannah has been trying to say cat since then because Helen kept talking about the cat to evening at the shop, it was 'Hannah that is a kitty. Hannah a kitty is there,' and so on and so on. As you heard, she can get out, "Ki," and that's about it. Helen already has two cats and was upset this one was alone, but she was worried it wouldn't do well with her other two cats. She basically bribed me to take the cat home, using my own child against me. Hannah loves that cat. There's something about babies and animals. I'm not planning to keep it, though," she shrugged.

He rolled his eyes, "Yet, there's a cat freely walking around your place. Is it using a litter box?"

She nodded, "The cat seems to be okay in the house. I've just not had a cat. I got the cat situated in the laundry room."

"Ki, Ki!" Hannah clapped, sitting near the cat as it walked by her. She grinned up at them.

Andy hooked his hand to Hannah, "She likes her pet."

"I'm going to find it a home," Sharon pointed out to him.

"You did," he nodded. "You, Sharon, have a kid and a cat. Best of friends," he nodded. "I'd suggest you feed him and fatten him up a little. He looks a little thin, and then, I'd take him to the vet for a checkup, you with your new pet," he smirked.

"I couldn't keep a cat," she said.

"Pets allowed?" Andy asked, gesturing to the place.

"Yes, but that's not the issue," she frowned. "I'm not a cat person."

"You bought a litter box, food, and he's walking around with Hannah completely thrilled," Andy ticked off the points. "You have a cat."

"He doesn't even have a name," she winced.

"Alfred," he said quickly. "The cat can be called Alfred."

"What? That's a terrible name for a cat," she shook her head, frowning at him.

"It is for a kid too, but remember way back when you tried to tell me Hannah was a boy named Alfred? Yeah, I do. I'm naming your cat Alfred, my little payback."

Sharon's eyes snapped up at him, and her mouth dropped open. Andy stared back at her, and the two just stared at each other. Sharon finally rolled her eyes and looked away. Andy started to chuckle. Finally, the two looked down at the gray cat with some dark stripes on him. She made a face and looked to Andy, "Alfred, really?"

"You came up with it first," he shrugged. "I'm just using the name you picked."

"It was what came to mind! Regardless," she shook her head, and continued, this is temporary," she pointed at him.

"Nah," he chuckled. "Your life continues to change. Today, you admitted you really do like me and want me around, plus you took in a cat, Alfred."

"I need to re-evaluate things," she sighed as she turned to walk away from him.

He pulled her toward him and grinned at her. "Weekend is going better than I thought already," he kissed her head. "Another request," he winked to her when she gave him a questioning glance. "I really liked that lingerie you had on that last night in New York. I think it deserves a second chance, a second glance. If it's not been thrown out for lack of wear, I'd really like to see that again. I have had that imagine of you in it all month now."

She gave a small shrug, "I almost threw it out, almost."


	67. Chapter 67

For the first time in a long time, as long as he could remember, Andy was in a wonderful mood. He flipped the pancakes and took a sip of his coffee, the smell of the food hitting him. He was really hungry, and he knew Sharon was as well. Things were going great; they'd had a great night together, and he was really looking forward to the day.

It was mid-morning, and they were now just getting around to eating breakfast. They'd been busy all morning, first, with a very early wake up from Sharon, where they'd had some alone time before Hannah woke up. Thankfully, they'd finished and had started to doze off again when Hannah got up. They spent the next hour with her, some of it, just relaxing together in bed, Hannah drinking her bottle, and the three of them, together, as he'd wanted for a very, very long time.

Andy knew it was taking Sharon a long time to figure out her feelings, but she'd made great strides last night and even throughout this morning. She had been more affectionate, more in tune with his needs and wants, more in tune with them, meshing as a couple.

He checked the pancakes and glanced to the news. Sharon had a small television in her kitchen area, explaining to Andy she spent a lot of her time there. He had to agree it was nice; he'd caught up on all of the national news of the day. Andy looked down as the cat rubbed against the back of his leg. That crazy cat, now named Alfred, and he chuckled to himself that the name had stuck. The cat seemed harmless enough, barely appearing, but when he did, he was pretty calm. Andy only hoped the cat brought some joy to Hannah, Sharon too, as even that, was a step for Sharon, taking in a cat.

He checked the pancakes and then plated them. He had just a few more to cook before he finished. Sharon was down the hall, dressing Hannah, who was already tired and ready for her nap. It was going to be a lazy day; they were good with that and seemed to have a lot to explore, even with their relationship, for a nice lazy day. The plan was to let Hannah take her nap now that she had been up for awhile. After they'd all spent some time hanging out in Sharon's bedroom, they'd brought Hannah to the kitchen to feed her and play with her. The time seemed to fly by, and suddenly, she was tired, and the adults still needed to eat. Andy volunteered to make pancakes and had plans to serve them to Sharon as a breakfast in bed situation. He looked over at her table, and while he waited for the next round of pancakes to finish, he grabbed the flowers to add to his tray. He was going to romance Sharon as much as he possibly could now that she had finally admitted she wanted to trust him and be around him.

Andy checked the tray, satisfied that everything was almost ready for their breakfast. He'd prepared the pancakes, had warmed some syrup, cut some fruit, and he had coffee for both of them. They were tired, but this was a good tired, a 'stayed up in each other's arms all night' sort of tired, and he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, if they finished their breakfast quickly, they'd have time for more, even possibly a shower together after, before Hannah woke up from her nap. He had not had to take one of his pills last night, and he wasn't sure if that was the norm or a fluke, but he was happy about that. In his eyes, this morning would just further test his need for the pills. He was hopeful that now with his stress levels coming down that he really wouldn't need them. Sharon had really helped reduce his stress in many ways, but just talking to Andy, pouring out her heart that she was trying to trust him and move forward with him was helping so much.

Andy put the finishing touches on the tray, and before he left the kitchen with the tray, he moved all of the bowls into the sink. He liked to clean up as he cooked-he didn't even know how Sharon felt on the topic, and while he had done some of that, he didn't think she would mind that he'd abandoned the clean up process to be with her. He looked down at his appearance and quickly took off his robe. He took a second to discard his white t-shirt; he had it on with his boxer shorts and the robe over it, mainly to work the kitchen, but he wasn't about to waste more time. Sharon, she had looked wonderful last night in her new nightgown. She had a name for it; he couldn't remember, but what he did remember was how it looked on her. She'd tried to change this morning, but he'd begged her to stay in it, just a little longer until they had to get dressed for the day. Breakfast in bed was not a call to be dressed for the day.

"Sharon, I hope you are back in bed. Breakfast is ready, and I have plans for the morning after you refuel with food," he called down the hall, and immediately, he froze, realizing that was the worst thing to do, yell down the hall. His goal was to spend alone time with Sharon while Hannah napped, and by yelling, he was digging a hole. Hannah might never go to sleep. He sighed and reminded himself to apologize to her for being so loud.

He wiped off his hands, and as he was about to carry the tray out of the kitchen, he looked up quickly at the movement he noted in the corner of his eye. He froze in place when he spotted the front door open in front of him and wanted to hide when he locked eyes with those at the front door.

"What the-" Ricky said and glanced around, reaching for the only sort of "weapon" he could find, Sharon's briefcase sitting on a small table by the door.

"Sharon!" Andy yelled down the hall, not worried at all about waking Hannah. They had bigger problems, and he glanced around quickly, looking to the door and then down the hall, hoping Sharon would appear. He then looked down at himself, just in his boxer shorts and closed his eyes. He'd seen Ricky at the funeral, but Ricky had no idea about him or who he was. As Andy looked back at Ricky, he groaned again, spotting Sharon's dad behind Ricky at the door. "Sharon, come here now, PLEASE!" He tried to grab his t-shirt, but he felt it hit the floor as he continued to stare at the front door.

"Andy, what in the world is going on out here?" Sharon called as she ran into the room from the hall, and Andy instantly groaned again. It didn't look good. Both were barely dressed. He was standing there in the kitchen, just in his boxers, and now, Sharon, who was still in her blue nightgown thing from the night before, appeared, and it wasn't something a woman would want her adult son and her father seeing her wear.

"Mom, are you okay? Grandpa and I are here. Who are you?" Ricky said, now the briefcase in front of him like he was ready to hit Andy on the head with it.

"Hey," Andy held up his hands, "relax, Ricky. I'm supposed to be here."

"Mom! Mom are you okay?" Ricky yelled at her, his eyes widening at finally getting a handle on what she was wearing, now a bit panicked. He pointed at Andy with one hand and continued to hold the briefcase with his other.

"Ricky," Sharon's dad stepped in and reached for his arm, his eyes locked on Andy. "Ricky, I know him."

The scene seemed to be frozen in time, no one sure what to do; all were stunned. Andy finally realized that something needed to be done and glanced down where he saw his robe. He picked it up and moved to Sharon, offering it to her. Sharon, who had been standing there, her arms crossed, looked to him, and her eyes widened as she realized how she was dressed too. She put the robe on, and the two looked back at the visitors where her dad was now closing the front door.

"Mom, who is he?" Ricky gestured to Andy. He looked to him, his eyes narrowing, and he pointed at him too, "You look familiar. Why is that?"

Sharon sighed. Andy sighed, and they both thought they could hear her dad sigh too. Sharon started to fidget, there standing in front of Ricky, her hands gesturing now with the robe on her. "Ricky, I had no idea you were coming, you both," she smiled softly at him.

"It was a surprise," Ricky stated in a very dazed tone with a dazed look on his face. He still had the briefcase in front of him. Sharon stepped forward to take it out of his hands, and only then, did he realize he was still holding it. "Mom?" he pointed to Andy, his eyes still locked on Andy.

Andy finally moved, looking down to realize again that he didn't have a shirt, and he walked back around to the counter area to find it. He reached down and picked it off the floor, and when he turned, he locked eyes with Sharon's dad, giving him a slight nod as he closed his eyes. At that, her dad looked to the chair close to where he was standing and moved to sit in it.

"You're okay, right, Mom?" Ricky asked, eyeing her. "I mean, I get it, divorced and all, but wow, didn't expect to walk in here and see that. I know some kids walk in on their parents, and I realize he's not my dad, but wow," he shook his head.

"Andy Flynn," Andy said as he walked toward Ricky again, now his t-shirt covering him somewhat. He stuck out his hand to Ricky, "Nice to finally met you, Ricky. We didn't meet at your grandmother's funeral, but that's probably why I look familiar. I can assure you that your mom is fine," he tried to smile. "This is, well," he rolled his eyes and gestured between himself and Sharon, "exactly what it looks like here. Sorry you had to walk in here."

Ricky's eyes widened as he realized Andy knew his name, and he looked back to Sharon, who Andy could tell wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. She had his robe pulled tightly around her now, and she gestured to Andy, "Andy is Hannah's dad," she admitted. Ricky shook Andy's hand, still shocked. Andy turned slightly toward Sharon, trying to catch her eye, completely surprised at the admission, but Sharon didn't look at him; she kept her focus on Ricky.

Ricky's eyes widened as he looked from one to the other, and his hand went to his mouth, "Wow, oh," he nodded, still looking between then. He shook his head and turned back around to look for his grandfather. "Grandpa are you feeling okay?" he asked, now slightly panicked. "Is that why you aren't as shocked as I am? Are you okay?"

"Ricky," he held up his hand to still Ricky's erratic movements, "I'm fine. I'm surprised, but I'm not."

Ricky looked to him and back to Sharon and Andy. Sharon tried to catch Andy's eye, but he was looking at Ricky. Hannah started to cry, and Andy quickly sprang into action.

"I'm going to get Hannah and let you three talk," he said, squeezing Sharon's shoulder as he stepped by her. He leaned in and softly said, "So sorry. I'll get dressed too." Sharon nodded, and she just hummed as he stepped around her and walked down the hall. The day had taken a turn; that was certain now.

Andy stepped into Hannah's room where he found her standing at her crib. She'd started doing that not long ago, and it was still almost surprising to him. She looked exhausted, and he just hoped that all of their loud voices wouldn't keep her from napping.

"Hey, Kiddo," he said quietly to her. "You need to get some sleep." He picked up the little blankie bunny she had dropped on the floor, one of her favorite things, and he put her back down in the crib. He really wanted to sit with her in the chair, but Sharon had told him that wasn't working well anymore; Hannah took that opportunity as a sign that she could get out of her crib to play. He ran his hand over her head, hoping she would sleep. Her one set of blinds were letting in some sunlight, so he closed those further, and he turned on her little sound machine that seemed to help her sleep. He took it as a good sign that she didn't get back up right away as he crept toward the door. Andy waited a few moments, and when he felt he could sneak out, he quietly left her room. He glanced back at the living room. Sharon had apparently moved; he couldn't see her in the hallway area anymore, and he could hear them talking. What a morning. Andy wasn't about to go out there in his current state, so he walked back to the bedroom to grab a quick shower and dress for the day. The damage was done, and now, it was time to get over this hurdle. It hadn't been all bad, he smiled to himself.

"Andy is Hannah's dad," kept going through his mind. Sharon had said it. She'd never called him that when referring to Hannah. It was true, even if he'd signed away his rights, but they had never discussed it, his name. She'd avoided it on Father's Day, and even with Hannah, she'd always called him Andy. He hoped this meant that they were making progress in several areas. Hannah's dad. He was. He wanted to be. Today, though, he had to face Ricky and Sharon's dad as the half-naked guy, possibly even the boyfriend, who was obviously enjoying the weekend with Sharon.

He needed a shower. He needed to regroup, and he was afraid he'd need to calm down Sharon after she got done talking to her family and came in search of a shower and clothing soon too.

Yes, it was going to be an interesting day.


	68. Chapter 68

He was almost done shaving when she opened the door and stepped into the bathroom, still in his robe. He put down his razor, turned to her, and he grimaced.

"How bad? Should I get my things and head home? I mean, that's not what I want to do, but I'll go. I understand," he started speaking, not giving her a moment to answer. "I don't know how to apologize enough to you. I was caught off guard, and then, Hannah got up, and I left the room, leaving you there, but as I was back here, I went through it in my head, and I figured you wouldn't want me there either, trying to explain the mess we have and-" he stopped when she stepped toward him. She clasped his hands in hers and looked up at him before she let out a very long sigh. She then leaned up and kissed him, putting her head next to his cheek.

"I hope I never have to walk in on a scene like that with Hannah. Sometimes, you can know too much, see too much, and that's where we are today. I can't help my dad or Ricky unsee anything, but I'm just grateful we weren't doing anything else. If you remember our midnight snack, we had on even less for that and didn't exactly finish the snack. The kitchen scene, well, that would have been a much different scene, last night," she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah," he grumbled, pulling her toward him and letting out a sigh as well. "Just tell me what you want me to do. I'll go. I can't imagine what you had to tell Ricky because I know how bad the truth is, and honestly, it sounds even worse."

Sharon stepped back from him, her hand still in his and looked up at him. This was all new, trying to show affection toward a man she was finding herself more and more drawn to, not just in her bed, but in her life. She pursed her lips, "Ricky and my dad knew this was always a hard weekend for me, and they decided to surprise me. Their intentions were good. I'm sorry Ricky barged in here, but he's my son, and my kids know I always have an open door. It's never been an issue," she rolled her eyes. "It's never been an issue partly because it has just been me at home anyways. Ricky has a key; I want my kids to always have a key and feel safe coming home. He's in college; this is his home. The timing," she shook her head, "is unfortunate. I realize I moved, and Ricky really hasn't lived here, but he's doing what I've always invited him to do, come home and be with his family. He will always have a place here. It was all with good intentions, and I'm not happy with how things went down this morning, but I'm glad he and my dad decided to do something together, to tackle this adventure together, and to plan to spend time together and with me."

"I understand," Andy nodded, looking to the floor. "I've never had that with my kids, any of them," he eyed her briefly and looked back at the floor. "I mean, my kids, I've always told them they are welcome, but they've never just dropped by. It's not been for lack of trying, but I don't have that relationship with them. I'm hoping it might be different with Hannah. Look," he squeezed her hand still in his, "I'm really sorry I was caught in the middle of your kitchen wearing next to nothing. I'm sorry my senses didn't kick in and warn you better than I did because I put you in a very compromising position, in more ways than one," he said, his hand moving slightly to her robe to open it. He caught her eye and raised his eyebrow, admiring her body covered by the robe. "That was stupid of me to call for you, knowing fully what you were wearing, or not wearing, or just how we looked. I know I embarrassed you in front of your family, not to mention, here I am, random guy, that your son wanted to kill."

Sharon frowned and looked down for a moment. She nodded, and then, she cleared her throat, "Look, I know I've spent a very long time trying to hide you, hide anything between us, and just pretend it means nothing. I know I'm starting to realize it's more than that," she looked up, searching his eyes with hers. "I realized when my mom died just how short life can be, and that's partly why I wanted you to meet my dad. I told him then that we were nothing, just that we had been very casual before that point. He never commented; he rarely says anything, which in a way, is the best interrogation technique," she threw out a nervous laugh. "He didn't seem that surprised to see you here, at least from my initial impression. I know that I've kept you from meeting Emily and Ricky too, and now," she nodded, "it is what it is. I'm not sure I would have called them up this weekend to explain that you are in my life, but I can't change it now. Honestly, I'm not sure what to tell them; what they saw today says more than I can probably voice, but I started with telling Ricky you are Hannah's father," she gave him a small smile and a shrug.

"Thank you for that," he squeezed her hand again. "Hearing that, well, it was about the best thing I've heard. I'm not pressuring you for anything, any title," he gestured with his free hand. "Like I said, I will go and let you just spend the weekend with them. They went to a lot of effort."

"So, did you," Sharon said quickly as she looked up at him. "I can't force you to stay. I've been looking forward to your visit," she gave him a nervous smile. "I've been looking forward to it very much, for several reasons. Last night," she shook her head and bit her lip, "was amazing. I'm exhausted," she chuckled, "but it was wonderful. Somehow, being with you, it keeps getting better and better."

"Can I share a secret?" he leaned in toward her, his eyes twinkling, and when she gave him a puzzled look, he continued, "It is getting better and better. I think the reason for that is there are real feelings there, Sharon. It's not just anything; we are developing deeper feelings, and that makes it even more enjoyable. I've never felt like I do when I'm with you."

"Same," she replied back to him, nodding. "I would like you to stay," she stated and cleared her throat, "but understand if it's too much, too awkward, and you want to leave."

Andy raised his hand to push back some stray hair, and he cupped her cheek, "You're okay with my staying? I mean, you realize that means I'll be spending some time with your dad and your son."

"I know," she took a deep breath. "My dad said he'd booked a room at the hotel where he and Ricky can stay; he did that ahead of time knowing I had a small place here. I know it means you spend time with them, and I guess, yes, that's what I want you to do."

"I'll stay," he leaned in and kissed her softly. "I wish I could make this easier for you," he said quietly as he kissed her again. She hummed, and he felt her relax into the kiss and pull closer to him. "I'm sorry I darted out of the room."

"You did what I wanted you to do, really what I would have wanted you to do," she replied. "We barely know what we are, and I didn't want you to stay with me there and try to make it even more awkward, so thank you for tending to Hannah," she said quietly as the two put their heads together. "I can't believe Ricky saw us like that," she groaned.

"Are they just waiting in the living room?" he asked.

"No, actually, they went for food. My dad felt horrible about everything, not that he says much, but it was obvious we were about to eat and," Sharon rolled her eyes. "Dad and Ricky went out to get some lunch for all of us. It seemed easier than trying to make this more awkward in a restaurant."

Andy nodded and kissed her head before he spoke, "I'll go clean up the kitchen while they are gone. I can do that much, and then, I'll reintroduce myself to Ricky, fully clothed this time, when they get back. We can have a good day, Sharon."

Sharon ran her hand up his chest as she nodded. He had on a button-down shirt, halfway buttoned with a t-shirt under it. Had he just been with Sharon and Hannah, he would have just worn the t-shirt, but he decided to look a little more presentable with her family, his girlfriend's family, if they were even to that point; he wasn't sure they were, the term with the potential to freak out Sharon even more. Andy ran his hands over Sharon's shoulders, "You take your time. Hopefully, the day isn't too stressful, so just try and relax back here for a few minutes."

"I will," she said, her hands still on his chest. "I think Dad and Ricky will take their time," she said, her eyes looking at his, her desire evident in them. She started to undo his buttons, "I know you are already dressed, but we didn't get to finish things this morning. How about we do that now?" Sharon grinned at him. "We have time. They just left, and if I know my dad like I believe I do, they'll be gone at least an hour. Hannah is sleeping finally, and my day will be much better if it gets back on track with what we had planned."

"Oh," Andy grinned at her and hooked his thumb, "so, you want those cold pancakes now? I'm not so sure they are going to taste that great, Sharon, and besides, I can't eat those and lunch," he barely said before her lips were on his. She moved her hands quickly as he tried to catch up with her.

"I will send you home if they get back before we are done and presentable again," she smiled as she teased him. Andy started to chuckle between kisses.

"I won't be able to look your dad or your son in the eye if they get back before we are done," he chuckled. "I mean, I plan to tell him how amazing you are, but he doesn't need to know about every single way."

"Stop talking," she chuckled. "I need this to get through this day, so let's not waste time."

Almost 45 minutes later, Andy was re-showered and re-dressed, and he was cleaning up the kitchen. Hannah was awake again, and he had her in her highchair eating a banana with some Cheerios. Sharon was in the shower, and he was trying to finish wiping away the evidence of the morning breakfast in bed plan. Even with her family surprising them, he and Sharon had managed to find alone time, and to him, that had been wonderful. Yes, their relationship had been built on physical attraction for so long, and yes, it was still a big part, really a huge part, of things now, but he really appreciated the effort today. Ready or not, he was going to spend the day with her family.

Andy glanced over at Hannah, sweet little Hannah, who had so much hair now, Sharon had started to put a barrette in it. He was worried Hannah would grab it and try to eat it, but so far, she hadn't. He'd brushed her hair after her nap, and he thought she was more and more beautiful each passing day, looking more like Sharon. She was now covered in banana, and he winced thinking about how sticky she would be to clean up soon. At least she had on a bib. She had knocked off her sippy cup, something they were just starting to try with her. She wasn't enjoying it so far, which was odd considering she liked bottles, but it was what it was. It was hard to believe she would be one in a month. As he watched her, he realized he did know quite a bit about her lately, and that made him smile. He and Sharon had been talking a lot, evident in the progress they seemed to be making. He snapped out of his thoughts when Hannah started smacking her hands on her tray, and then, he moved to get her more Cheerios. He was putting another handful on her tray when the front door opened, just slightly, and Ricky called out.

"We're back," he said as he opened the door. Andy glanced toward the hall, hoping Sharon had magically appeared, but he knew they had not exactly been quick to get dressed for the day. Andy stood by Hannah, as if she would offer him some sort of protection, and he nodded to the men as they entered.

"We brought lunch," Sharon's dad said quickly before things could get awkward. "We were also able to check in early to our hotel. They had plenty of rooms ready."

Andy nodded and glanced to Hannah, who had stopped eating and was staring at the door. Andy looked over and saw Ricky putting some bags on the counter. He moved quickly.

"Let's start again," he stuck out his hand. "I'm Andy. Nice to meet you finallly."

"Ricky," he shook his hand, eyeing Andy. "Mom is?"

"Right here," Sharon said, and the men turned toward her. She finished putting in her earring. "Lunch, that sounds good," she gave him a small smile. "I could eat."

"There's my Hannie," Bob grinned and walked to the table to see Hannah. "Let me get a look at you."

"Oh, she's sticky," Andy said as Bob was already getting her out of her chair. "I just gave her a banana."

Andy could feel Ricky staring at him, and he tried to not look toward Ricky. Ricky eventually gave up and moved toward his sister.

"Wow, Mom, she's really changing. I mean, I know I see her on video chats, but still," he shook his head.

Andy moved to get a wet paper towel to wipe off Hannah, who was now in Bob's arms. He was smiling at the baby, and Andy walked up to wipe her hands. Sharon was standing near Ricky.

"She has gotten big," Sharon said, nodding, as Andy wiped her off.

"So, Andy, you've been dating my mom a couple of years, I take it?" Ricky blurted out, starting off the conversation. Andy met Bob's stare and turned back to Ricky.

"Ricky let's sit down and talk over lunch," Sharon nudged him. "Please."

Ricky continued to look at Andy, while Sharon and her dad tried to get lunch out for everyone. Andy nodded at Ricky, "I've known your mom a long time, Ricky."

"Really? Okay, wow," he looked surprised between them. "I've never heard of you. Even when she was pregnant, we couldn't get a word out of her about Hannah's father."

"Ricky, this is all complicated," Sharon said. "Here's your food," she added, giving Ricky his order. The four adults started to take their place at the table, Ricky moving to sit by Andy. He grinned at Andy, and he looked across the table to his mom and grandfather and grinned at them.

"Okay, well, I mean, sure, you're an adult," he nodded. "Let's try another topic so I can get to know Andy, or maybe a little about things between you and Andy-First date?" he asked, gesturing between them.

"Well," Andy started to chuckle when he glanced at Ricky, speaking really without thinking, "I guess we really haven't had a first date, a memorable moment. I mean," he shrugged, "it was New York before we really went out to eat to just go out."

"Andy!" Sharon said crisply before Andy said more. Andy paused and looked down, not wanting to say more.

"Ricky, as I said, it's complicated," she said, offering no more. "Let's not discuss that," she said, her dad eyeing her since the mention of New York.

"O-kay," Ricky said, drawing out the word very slowly. "Andy, I guess you are the reason Mom moved here? You live here in Flagstaff, and now, that's all making sense," he nodded to himself as he said it.

"Oh, ahh, no," Andy wiped his mouth and turned slightly to Ricky. "Ricky, we know each other from Los Angeles. I live there, Lieutenant Andy Flynn, LAPD. I'm a homicide detective basically."

"LAPD," Ricky raised his eyebrows and looked between Andy and Sharon. "Mom, wow," he nodded. "I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to understand this."

"Ricky," Sharon, sitting across from Andy, tried to catch his gaze, but she looked at Ricky and then even at her dad. "Ricky, Dad," she cleared her throat, "Andy is correct; we have known each other a long time. We've worked together for years, not directly most of that, but we have. I moved to do what was best for Hannah and for me. As you know, it was hard doing my job while raising you and your sister. I wanted a change with Hannah. That brought me here, which has been good," she nodded. "As far as things with Andy," she paused and looked to her plate, "we are trying to figure out what works best."

"So, what does that mean?" Ricky asked, gesturing his fork between them. "I'm still not clear why we've never met you before, Andy, not even a mention of your name." Oh, wait," he nodded looking between them. "The no date comment, so, this," he gestured, "Hannah was a big oops? This was, well, what it was, and she was a mistake."

"Ricky! I will not have you call your sister a mistake!" Sharon said, now clearly agitated. "She was a surprise, but she's been a great gift," she gave Ricky a nod and then met eyes with Andy. She gave him a small smile.

"Ricky, I think you'd better just eat for now," Bob chimed in. "I know this is a shock, but let's let things be for now. Your mom is an adult, just as you are. Sometimes, letting adults make their own decisions is hard, but for the best."

"Ricky, I am sorry this is all coming out this way; I am," she gave him a sad smile. "Andy and I started spending more time together when we were on that case, remember around Christmas when I was gone a couple years ago? It's grown from there," she offered. "I'm not trying to sneak around," she paused and frowned, "maybe I am, but we aren't sure what the future holds either. Both of us carry a lot of baggage."

"Okay," Ricky nodded, looking to Andy beside him. "You married, Andy?"

"What? Now? No," Andy shook his head quickly. "I mean, I'm divorced, but I'm not the kind of guy to cheat on my wife, if that's what you were asking."

"No, sorry, I meant to phrase that better, past tense, although I am well versed in men cheating on their wives, related to one actually," he shrugged lightly. "Divorced, cop, lives in LA," he nodded. "Kids, I mean besides my sister there?"

"Ricky," Andy started to gesture with his hands, "I care about your mom very much," he said and looked to Sharon. He could feel Bob staring at him. "I want to support her in whatever way she needs, be there for her as much as she'll allow. I love Hannah too, and yeah," he nodded. "I was a crappy dad. I have two grown kids, but I'm trying with Hannah, more than ever. I know you don't know me, that this is all a mess, but I'm asking you to hear me out, get to know me. I really care. I've been around your mom for years, gotten closer to her in the last few, and recently, we've really been talking about the future."

"Mom, I know Dad treated you like garbage; I know that," Ricky looked to her. "I'm sorry for the questions, but I want you to be happy. It's not like I'm just meeting a guy you just met. I mean," he gestured to Hannah, "little sis isn't talking yet to tell me about Andy, and it's a couple years later I'm just hearing of him."

"I know," Sharon pursed her lips. "It's a process for me too, for us," she gestured to Andy. "Honestly, we are still working through quite a bit, most of which I'm not going to discuss, but it is time you get to know Andy. You and Emily need to meet him because yes, he's around. He's been around, the details about that, we are still addressing. As for the timing of when you should have met him or any of that, let's focus on here and now."

"Okay," Ricky nodded between bites. "It still is a shock."

"I'm sure," Sharon nodded. "Now, care to tell us who you are dating?"

"So, you're dating?" Ricky grinned. "I mean, you jump from talking about the two of you to me, implying that is what you are doing, but you also mentioned never going on a date, and Andy," Ricky made a hissing sound, "that doesn't sound good."

"I'm aware," Andy raised his hand. "As your mother said, we have a complicated relationship. I've tried to be there for her, and she's doing the same now with me."

"Right, you were at Grandma's funeral? That's why you look familiar," he pointed to him.

"I was, and that wasn't because Sharon asked me to go. I went for her, to be there, and I wanted to help with Hannah. Gavin and I both helped with her," he explained.

Ricky started to chuckle, "Mom, honestly, that would have been priceless to see. Why oh why didn't we know about that? Gavin and Andy had Hannah," he chuckled. "It's hard to picture Gavin even changing her diaper."

"He wasn't a fan," Andy gave Ricky a nod.

"You dodged my question," Sharon pointed to Ricky. "Let's discuss the women you are seeing."

"No one special," he shrugged. "I like to keep my options open still, just a college kid," he grinned. "I mean, if you are asking if I'm hiding a sometimes girlfriend and baby, then, no."

"Ricky," Sharon closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and she shook her head.

"Ricky let's allow your mom to catch her breath," Bob told him. "I know you feel out of this, but your mom has her reasons. I met Andy after your grandmother died, and while I was glad to meet him then, even I don't know much. You know your mom will talk when she's ready, Andy too, from what I can tell," he told him.

"Okay," Ricky nodded. "So, changing subjects, what's in the plans for today?"

"We really hadn't made any," Sharon told them. "Andy is here for the weekend, from L.A., and most of all, he wanted to see Hannah."

"Not just Hannah," Andy added quickly, taking a bite of his salad. He didn't look up to meet Sharon's stare, but then she continued.

"You two came here with the surprise," she nodded to them. "I'm glad to see you both, so what did you have planned?"

Bob and Ricky glanced at each other. Bob gestured to Ricky who spoke, "I mean, we didn't have set plans, Mom. Grandpa didn't want to overwhelm you, so we got that hotel room, which yeah, good idea, Grandpa," he winked. "We just wanted to see you and Hannah. It's been forever since I saw her, or it feels like forever. We thought about taking you out to eat after Mass tomorrow."

"Oh," her eyes widened. "I hadn't thought about that with Andy here."

"You Catholic, Andy?" Bob asked, one of his first questions.

"I mean, yeah, if and when I go," he shrugged.

"Another complicated topic, Andy?" Ricky chuckled and patted him on the back. "Yeah, we're going to get to know each other this weekend. Let me know your secret to getting out of Mass with Mom," he winked.

"Ricky," Sharon sighed. "I beg you to-"

"Fine, Mom," Ricky held up his hands. "Maybe Grandpa and I can help in a way I never would have imagined," he looked to Bob and nodded at him. "I'm offering my babysitting services if you two want to go on a date. No pressure, but I mean, Hannah will one day ask, and I guess at some point, you need to tell her about a first date, even if she's almost one."

"Oh, I swear," Sharon muttered.

Andy's eyes widened, and then, they started to sparkle as he looked at Sharon. "We've been talking," he nodded to her. "Nothing before has been officially a date, so I'm good with it."

"Come on, Mom," Ricky smiled. "You deserve it, and Grandpa can watch the grandkids."

"That statement might not sound so horrible if one of those grandkids was an adult," Sharon sighed. She shook her head and looked to Andy. "I guess we are going out."

"Excellent," Ricky flashed a grin around the table. "Hannah, hear that? Grandpa is in charge while Mom goes out on a date with your dad."


	69. Chapter 69

When he'd thought about this weekend, he hadn't pictured it quite this way. Yes, he had envisioned taking Hannah on a walk in her stroller, as he was doing now, but he'd never imagined doing just that with Bob. And yet, here they were, walking Hannah around Sharon's complex, giving Sharon some time to talk to Ricky and Emily, to explain who Andy was and why he was just now part of the conversation. Andy didn't know everything Sharon was going to say, but he didn't think she was going to get into his signing away his rights, at least not yet. Sharon would ultimately tell them what she wanted to tell them, and while that was going on, Andy wasn't sure how long he and Bob would continue with their almost awkward silence.

"So, Bob, look, about everything," Andy started the conversation, hoping to just break the silence. "Sharon and I are just trying to figure everything out." He looked down slightly, checking to make sure Hannah hadn't dropped anything out of her stroller. He was pushing it while Bob walked next to him.

"You've been trying to figure everything out for quite some time," he finally said in a matter of fact tone.

"I know Sharon told you a lot, but I don't know everything she's told you," Andy said.

"She's barely told me anything, but that's Sharon. That doesn't mean I'm not aware, that her mother wasn't aware," he said and cleared his throat.

Andy eyed him, slightly, shaking his head, "I never met your wife."

"Andy, let me tell you something," Bob said. "My wife, Sharon's mother, was one of the smartest women I've ever known, and that is where Sharon gets her smarts. Sharon is not relationship smart, never has been, which is probably the only reason I would admit her mother is smarter than she is. She didn't need to meet you to know you, and what I mean by that, is yes, she never met you personally, but you aren't the detective you claim to be if you think her mother and I didn't know you-as in a man in her life-was lurking around all this time. We never bought the whole story she tried to feed us about Hannah's father, a man she'd seen a few times and had ended things. There was something about how she told us that, all of that, but Sharon's mom knew. I knew."

Andy just shook his head, "You never told Sharon your suspicions?" Andy asked, glancing at him.

"No," he waved his hand. "That wasn't the way to get Sharon to open up, and I surely don't have to tell you she has a lot of trust issues. While we have never been part of her distrust, she doesn't want to drag us into her mess. We saw it all with Jack, and she shut down through that; she's a different Sharon than pre-Jack, not that I would expect her to be the same, but he really did a number on her. Her mom and I could talk to each other, and then, we would wait. I've always been the quiet one. Her mom had a way to get Sharon to talk when she wanted her to talk. We knew there was a man-you-a man in her life, and we suspected it was still Hannah's father. For whatever reason at the time, we couldn't put our finger on why things were so secret, but we knew we had to wait it out. I guess, at least to our relief, you aren't married, which was one concern we had."

Andy just nodded, "Look, as much as this probably isn't your business, I feel like you are trying to put pieces together, and the last thing I want to do is hide or sound deceptive. Sharon and I haven't been some secret couple, not in the way you think. It's just been finally this weekend she admitted she cares about me. I've been telling her that, but she's held back. Honestly," Andy paused, sighed, and shook his head before he looked over and met Bob's gaze. "Let me just be frank, man to man. It was all physical to start. Hannah," he gestured toward the stroller, "was the product of that, two people who let passion get in the way of anything else. We're totally backwards in all this, but Sharon is finally starting to open up, to see that I want to be here for Hannah, for Sharon."

"You're right," Bob said bluntly. "The last thing I want to discuss is my daughter in a physical relationship with you. Look, Andy," he said and looked to Andy, "I don't dislike you. I barely know you, but you have to understand none of this looks good, none of it. No dad wants to like a man who slept with his daughter, got her pregnant, signed away his rights, and yet, continues to be around now, regardless of why."

"I'm well aware this all looks really bad, especially for me," Andy nodded. "I will plead that I'm here, want to be a dad to Hannah, and I want more with Sharon."

"I'm aware," Bob nodded. "That isn't for me to decide. Now, that doesn't mean I have no stake in this. Hannah is still my granddaughter too. I saw what a lousy dad did to my other two grandchildren, and I don't want that for her. I can't guarantee I will be around to see her become an adult, but I don't want Hannah to have the same hurt and disappointment that slime Jack brought to my other grandchildren. Sharon is my daughter. I realize I cannot control her; I have never been able to do that her adult life, her whole life really, nor did I feel it was my place. Her decisions have been her own, and she's had to pay the price for many of those."

"She's come out stronger through it all," Andy pointed out.

"That may be true," Bob nodded, "but no parent wants to see their child suffer like she has, to go through life with trust issues, to have lost all hope in love because of her husband. That, no parent wants to see."

"I do understand what you are saying, Bob," Andy said. "I know it would bother me thinking of Nicole in a situation like that. It's easier to think of her now, with her being an adult. Looking at how sweet and innocent Hannah is," he nodded to her, "you almost forget that she will come up against strife at some point in her life."

"It is hard, and that's why since we are talking, I want to ask you a couple of things," Bob said.

"Go ahead," Andy nodded. "I like you, Bob, and I want to be around for the long haul. With that in mind, you and I are going to be around each other, and I don't want anything left unsaid. Ask away."

"I've not understood your generation and really, younger ones even more now," he said. "I might sound old-fashioned, but in my time, a man liked a woman, and they dated, at least respectable ones did. I was respectable. I dated Sharon's mother, and we didn't mess around with this nonsense like people do now. We liked each other; we told each other. We dated, and being a respectable, upstanding Catholic who did believe my religion, I respected her. I married her. We didn't do this sleeping around junk. I know others might have; I'm not stupid, but that was important to me, to us. We raised Sharon like that, or so we thought. I can't figure out how she ended up with Jack; her mother never liked him, and that should have been my warning. I wanted to like Jack, but then, quickly, we saw what he was like, drinking more and more, leaving Sharon with those babies. We could handle a divorce. While her mother and I didn't have a marriage like that, we wanted Sharon to get rid of Jack. We were at least progressive enough to realize no woman should stay with a man like Jack. Then, she seems to be okay, at least, focusing on work and the kids. I know she was lonely, and we even encouraged her to date. She never wanted to comment on that with us. She is quiet with us, always has been, and then, one day," he throws up his hands "she shows up pregnant. I don't know what was worse-thinking she'd slept with Jack again or listening to her quickly explain it was an indiscretion, a brief period with a man, and that was over. I love my daughter; I love all of my grandkids, but I have to look at you, Andy, and even with my old-fashioned values, wonder what kind of a man are you to not step up? You walked away. You and my daughter were equally involved; I don't deny that, but in what world was that okay?"

Andy let out a long sigh. He was quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out how to best answer Bob. He started by just talking and shook his head, "Honestly, Bob, you are asking all the right questions. I know you look at Sharon and see your daughter, probably as she was this age like Hannah. It's hard to see her as a woman. That's how I see her, but even with that, it's been complicated, with layers. I realize I don't have to tell you anything, defend anything. I'm not sure I'm even defending it right now, but we both have been burned. Just as you have said you never had a divorce or bad life experience like this, Sharon and I have both had our share of them. I ruined my marriage with alcohol. That's something I have to live with the rest of my life. That contributed to the bad relationship I have with my kids. My kids are scarred because of it too, and I realize they may never have a normal relationship with me or others. I deal with that every single day. I'm trying to forgive myself, and I can best do that by staying sober. It's what I don't want for Hannah. I know I'm a grown man, but I feel I've done a lot of growing up since I heard she was a tiny thing growing inside Sharon. I want better for her; I want better for Sharon. I guess all I can say, analyzing it now, is that we were both looking for something to ease the pain. A simple physical relationship seemed to do that."

"Hmm, if you think sleeping around is simple," Bob shook his head.

"I used to think that," Andy nodded. "I did. I'm going to be honest and tell you I've slept with a lot of women. Sharon knows it. I've come clean with her. You don't want to hear it, and I know it sounds bad; it is bad. I haven't slept with anyone since things really started to progress with Sharon and Hannah. Shortly after she told me she was pregnant, I went on a binge, I guess. I slept around a little then. Even my buddy, Provenza, doesn't know how bad it got. I wanted to ease the pain. I couldn't believe I'd messed up and done that to Sharon, created another life, and I was going to mess up things even more. I just wanted to ease the pain. The easiest thing to do was what she wanted-to sign those papers and walk away. I know she told you about those. I don't know what she is going to tell the kids because the Sharon and Andy of then are vastly different now. It's my single biggest regret in life, and considering what I've told you, that's saying a lot. No decent man walks away from his own daughter, and then, I did just that. I wanted to forget. I had women in and out for a couple weeks, even trying to lie to my friend that I was fine and moving on okay. I was a mess, a different kind of rock bottom. As Sharon's pregnancy progressed, as I visibly saw my child growing in her, as I heard she was in the hospital and could have lost her, something changed. I wanted to do better, to be better. Sharon probably didn't even tell you that when she came to tell me she was pregnant, a woman, a half-dressed woman, answered my door. I was a slime. I'm still working on changing, and I'm doing my best. My own dad has never been happy with me; I've never been good enough. I know that about myself. I have lived with that idea, that nothing is good enough. I'm broken; Sharon's broken. I guess in our brokenness, we found each other, thinking that we could keep things simple. Physical and only that. It worked, but not long. I know I got more involved earlier than Sharon did, but she tried to keep up the façade. Look, that's all more than you want to know, but it is what it is. I know you see me as the guy who sleeps with your daughter, who uses her, and I don't want to be that guy."

"You're right that I don't want to think of my daughter in a bedroom with you. I see it as a lack of respect. You see it, as you said, as two broken people finding pleasure, I suppose, in each other. I say you two both need to grow up, to tackle things. You aren't going to ever be an honorable man if you keep hiding things. I don't know what your dad did in your life. Sharon said he's been hard on you, but only you now can change that. She said you are trying with your kids. I say keep trying, and yes, I realize that means Hannah. I told you I don't dislike you. That's the truth. I just want to be able to respect you. It's hard to do that when you're sleeping around with my daughter, and I have no idea what that is doing to both of you. Her mother and I have known it for some time. Before my wife died, she called Sharon in Los Angeles, one of her trips there to tell her Hannah was rolling over."

Andy nodded, "Yeah."

Bob stopped and turned to him, snapping his fingers, "Exactly! You were there. Sharon hid that. If I'm guessing she was still sleeping with you then."

Andy stopped pushing the stroller and dropped his head, "Look, we were trying to just, just keep things between us. I kept saying I wanted to be in Hannah's life."

"So, to be in Hannah's life, you felt you had to keep sleeping with Sharon?" he asked.

"The opposite!" Andy exclaimed. "I know you don't want to hear this, but she continually pursued me. I'm not pleading innocent; I went along with it, but I didn't want to complicate things. Ironically, in not wanting to complicate things, we have a complicated mess now."

"Look, Andy," Bob said, a slight frown on his face. "I've done a good job staying out of this. I have prodded Sharon. I've tried to just be there for her. That's what her mother and I have always wanted. Her mother got off the video chat that day, the one Sharon ironically couldn't connect," he said and rolled his eyes. "Her mother looked at me and said that she was with a man. We just didn't know if she was spinning so out of control that she was with a different man than the one who had fathered Hannah. Then, when she introduced you after the funeral, I finally got a look at you, the man who she's been sleeping with through all of this. I know you and Sharon are adults. I know you both are involved in this. I know it's not my place, and I've been staying out of it. I just want to clear the air so to speak here. I don't dislike you as I've said, but right now, I need to learn to trust you, to see your intentions are clear. They seem to be clear with Hannah. I hope they are. I hope they are clear with Sharon too, and yes, I realize a relationship is two-sided, that she has to be a willing participant, but know I am watching. I'm cautious to like anything right now, to trust anything, even Sharon's judgment."

Andy pursed his lips and nodded, "Fair enough. Thank you for telling me all of that. I can see why Sharon loves you as much as she does. You are worried about your daughter, and I understand that. I'd feel the same, I imagine. I want this to work. In my fairy tale, I want to end up with Sharon and Hannah, whatever that means," he gestured. "This is a start. I realize I have no legal rights to Hannah, but I'm very grateful Sharon is giving me a chance. She didn't have to do that, even if she was the one who wanted me to walk away. I'm grateful. Involving the kids," he gestured, "is the next step. Granted, none of us wanted the kids to find out walking into the apartment seeing us half dressed."

"I apologize for that," Bob nodded. "Even in my wildest dreams of you two seeing each other, I didn't imagine I'd find you in her kitchen barely dressed. I didn't realize you two were seeing each other that much, and don't think I didn't catch the New York comment."

Andy raised his eyebrows, "To be fair," he held up his hand, "that was all your daughter. I'm really glad she came, but I didn't ask. My dad fell and was in the hospital. She came to support me, which I thought was a big step. She let Hannah meet my dad, which," Andy groaned, "meant she met him too. It was a big trip for us, for a relationship between us. I did not meet Emily, as you know."

Bob held back a slight smile, which almost surprised Andy, "I'm sure Emily is giving her an earful now. I knew something was up with that trip, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew you were from New York, as we discussed when I met you, but I didn't know the urgency. That makes sense. Emily said she saw a lot of Sharon."

"She did," Andy nodded. "I just worked around her schedule, or I guess, we did what we could. Look, I'm not going to kid you that we didn't spend time together. It was great, amazing to me. She met my sister, and it felt so good to just feel normal, do something normal. We had dinner with my sister. Hannah met her aunt, so yeah, it was a big trip. I'm sorry about the sneaking around, but in all of this, I'm trying to do what Sharon wants. I've always wanted to do what Sharon wants. Her happiness is my priority."

"Mine too," Bob told him. "Be careful with her. Tread lightly. It's beyond the point of telling you to take things slowly, but I will say I guess to take things correctly. Do what is best, not just what is enjoyable. Figure out what the next 50 years of your life looks like, if you are given that long. Figure out what the next five minutes of your life needs to look like. Get your life in order. Life is short. I know that. I am living each day now without the love of my life. I'd give anything to tell her just one more time how much I love her. Discussing this with you," he gestured, "way out of my comfort zone, but I feel it's my duty to Sharon's mom. She would be here asking this, believe me," he smiled softly. "She was the best woman I know, and she made me a better man. It's time for you to figure out what makes you better, who makes you better, and I know it's not one-sided. I've told Sharon the same thing, to figure out what makes her a better person, even who might make her a better person. When you find that, you cling to it."

Andy nodded and looked to Hannah, "I can say Hannah makes me a better person, not in the same way you are describing. She does, though. Sharon makes me want to be a better man, and that's partly why our situation is a mess. I'm invested, and I want her in my life."

"Don't drag Hannah through drama. Jack did that," he pointed at Andy.

"Not my intention," he shook his head.

"Let's get back to the house. She tried to hide her expressions when Ricky mentioned you two going out tonight, but I think you two have a lot to discuss. For your sake, let me give you this suggestion," he stated.

"Go on," Andy said. "Look, you've already challenged me in more positive ways than my own dad ever has."

Bob nodded, "Try to keep this out of the bedroom," he gestured with his hand. "Talk to each other. It's easy to get carried away, as you know, to let yourself slip into what feels good. That's where you get into problems, where these generations have failed. Everyone is into what feels good right now, forgetting that everything has a consequence. No one seems to think long term, and that's exactly what you need to do. Hannah is worth it."

Andy nodded again, "I'll take all of that into consideration. Bob, thanks, really," Andy stuck out his hand. "I want you to trust me, but I know I have to earn that trust."

"You do have to earn it. I'm open-minded and hope you blow me away, doing everything in your power to figure out this mess, to be there for both my girls," Bob added. He gestured to the walkway, "Should we continue walking?"


	70. Chapter 70

He could hear Sharon in the living room giving Ricky and her dad some final instructions regarding Hannah. He looked down at her, as she tried to roll away from him while he buttoned up her pajamas. She was getting so big, and now, in a month, she'd be one. It had now almost been a year since she'd been born, and on one hand, time had flown by, but on the other, time had gone so slowly. Many things were still a mess, but he felt like there was finally some progress. One thing was certain; he was glad to be here, in Hannah's life, and even that had been a question for so long. While he didn't know where he stood with Sharon exactly, he felt like he had a better idea now than he did even a week ago. It had been an almost stressful afternoon. His conversation with Bob had been tense, but needed. He could tell Sharon's conversation with the kids had been the same, tense, but he was sure they hadn't discussed the same topics he had with Bob. Sharon had briefly asked him if they'd had a good walk, and he'd just nodded, intending to discuss it with her later, at least some of it. He finished with Hannah, picked her up, kissed her head, and he put her in his arms to carry her down the hall.

"Maaaaaaaaaa," she called out, the shrill sound enough to make Andy cringe and pull her away from his ear. He chuckled at her little voice, powerful, but so innocent.

"I'm borrowing Mom for a few hours tonight," he said. "Kiddo be good for Grandpa and Ricky."

Hannah turned and looked at him, almost if she was just realizing someone was carrying her. She smiled at him, her few teeth showing as the drool dropped out of her mouth and onto Andy's navy blue dress shirt. He hadn't brought a suit with him, and now he was regretting it. He was trying to pull out all the stops for this date, but he could also tell that was making Sharon nervous and was realizing it was probably good they were going for a slightly more casual look. His navy shirt had very faint stripes on it, and he'd put on dark khaki pants to go with it. He only had so many things in his suitcase, and this would have to do. He walked into the living room and made eye contact with Ricky first.

"Oh, cool, she's ready for bed," Ricky nodded, looking at his little sister. Hannah saw Sharon and tried to squirm from Andy, her hands out, waiting for her mom to grab her.

"Careful," he nodded to Sharon. "She's drooling a lot," he gestured to his shirt. Sharon gave him a small smile and took Hannah anyways, holding her in front of her, careful not to put her close to her navy dress. Andy admired her dress while she held Hannah. It was simple, no frills, and it went to her knees. It was almost professional, almost a work-style dress, but it fit her well. It sat almost on the edge of her shoulders. He knew there was a name for such a style dress; he just couldn't remember it. She was wearing a nude colored heel, and she had on minimal jewelry, just some earrings and her watch. She looked great, but in his opinion, she always looked great.

"Dad, you are sure you two are okay with her?" Sharon asked, looking between them, almost nervous.

"Oh, go on, Mom," Ricky grinned, taking Hannah. "We'll be fine."

"I have watched her before, Sharon," her dad frowned and added, "even overnight."

"I know," she gave a slight roll to the eye.

"Sharon, you ready to go?" Andy asked, knowing she was stalling. This was a big deal, the two of them going out on a date. She turned slightly to him, Hannah looking at him too. He reached over and tickled at Hannah's foot, causing her to giggle.

"Bye my sweet one," she said kissing Hannah. "Bye to you two over there," she waved her finger at them. "Keep my child happy."

"I am happy," Ricky grinned, and that caused Andy to chuckle. Sharon eyed Ricky and her dad.

"We'll be back later. I know you two need to get back to your hotel," she said. Andy nodded to the men, walked to the door, and he opened it, gesturing to Sharon.

"Thank you both," he called to them as Sharon walked toward him. He didn't anything else until the two were finally outside the apartment with the door closed.

Andy glanced over at Sharon, who was running her hands over her dress as if she was trying to get rid of imaginary wrinkles. He cleared his throat, "Nervous?"

She looked to him, quickly, almost surprised he had asked her that, "I don't know. I mean, ahh, yes, I suppose. I don't date. I rarely go on dates. Look, this doesn't have to be anything. I know we were almost conned into this. I know we need to eat, and that doesn't have to be anything special."

Andy just nodded as he studied her, her hands gesturing as she spoke. She had a small clutch in her hand, and he gestured to his car. "Well, we're in luck," he winked to her as they walked up to the car. "I already made a dinner reservation because as you said, we need to eat." He gave her a small smile. "Don't think of this as a date even."

"Okay," she let out a small sigh. "I do have errands to run. We could go grocery shopping. Hannah's going to need more diapers soon."

"Sharon," he put his hand on hers and gave her a small smile, "while I don't mind at all doing those things with you, we aren't going to do that tonight. I'm looking forward to dinner. I intend to have a nice dinner with you," he said, his hand now clasped with hers as he squeezed it and looked into her eyes. "It's just me. Relax. We can do this. I know this is out of your comfort zone, that, in a way, this is more personal to you than just sleeping with someone," he rolled his eyes slightly. "Yes, that sounds crazy, but I have been figuring you out for a long time. You have control there, and things can end when you want. This," he gestured around the car, "I'm a guy, here, wanting to take you to dinner and spend the evening with you, talking to you and just being with you. Okay?"

Sharon looked to the ground, nodding. When she looked up at Andy, he was there, just watching her. She gave a little shrug, "I'm not sure what to think of all this. I know it's silly and sounds backwards, but this seems more involved. Before it was easier to keep any emotion out of it."

"I know," he pulled her toward him with their joined hand. He tugged on it, "This can be good too," he said quietly. "I mean, you get a nice dinner out of it. I'm paying," he flashed a small grin at her.

She nodded again, "That's part of my almost annoyance with dating. I feel there are expectations, so many expectations. I hadn't dated in decades, and after my divorce, I tried dating a little. I didn't like the unknown, trying to figure out the expectations. It was easier to almost state up front what I wanted, no extras. That's where I was with things with you."

"I know," he said, brushing a stray hair from her face as he looked at her. "With me, tonight," he gestured around with his free hand, "it's just dinner. I'd like to take you to dinner. I will drive you there, enjoy your company, let you order whatever you want-even if it's two desserts," he said and got a chuckle from Sharon. "I'll enjoy talking to you until we are ready to leave. After that, I'm perfectly okay bringing you back here. No expectations."

She stood there. Andy pulled his hand from hers and put his hands on her arms to look at her. She moved her hands to the buttons on his shirt, toying with the one, a nervous habit. She nodded again, "No expectations then to put out?" She looked up at him, a sparkle in her eye.

"Ahh, no, not from me at all," he said quickly to her. "I admit old Andy would have expected that, even skipped dinner for that and has in the past."

"I meant me," she gave a little shrug. "I mean, you are only in town one more night, and it could be awhile before I see you again, so, yes," she patted his chest, "that would be my expectation, but I didn't always have that expectation on dates, not until recently. I suppose tonight I wouldn't say it's an expectation, but a request."

"Really?" he gave her a small smile. "I'll take that under advisement. It's never an expectation from you, just to be clear. I love being with you Sharon, and right now, I'm looking forward to spending time with you just in a different way, two people just enjoying each other. Later," he waved his hand, "we can revisit your request, long after we send your family packing back to the hotel."

Sharon nodded as she looked down and chuckled slightly, "Okay," she let out her breath.

"Relaxed enough to get into the car?" he said as he opened the door with his one hand, his other still on her arm. "I would really like to take you to dinner."

"Thank you," she said quietly and got into the car. Andy closed the door and took a few deep breaths as he walked to the driver door. This woman, she could set him on fire with a word, and she'd done that already. He was trying to keep his cool when all he wanted to do was go back inside and kick out her family so he could take her to bed. He needed to focus, though, because he wanted a relationship, and that was founded on more than a roll in the sheets, something he'd discussed with Bob earlier. He knew that, but Sharon, she was just so irresistible to him. He'd never felt like that about a women, ever.

When he got into the car, he saw she was looking at the car seat. She gestured toward it, "You brought a car seat?"

"Well, yeah," he shook his head. "This is the one I bought when I was in town for your mom's funeral. I want to have it in the car when I visit in case we go anywhere with Hannah. Tomorrow, before I go home, we can run those errands you need to do. I'll be happy to do that with you, but I don't want a first real date to be a lap around the grocery store." Andy started out of her complex.

"We've been out before," Sharon pointed out to him as he started the car.

Andy nodded, "We have, but honestly, Sharon, I felt like other times we've been out, it's almost been under duress. You haven't wanted to be with me, not outside the bedroom, and we both know it. I hope this is different." He glanced at her and found her looking at her lap. She turned slightly, her lips pursed, and she gave him a small shrug.

"I'm trying to be open to whatever the evening holds," she admitted.

"Great," he flashed a smile. "I have dinner booked at a nice restaurant. I called around to get us a reservation, and I'm very much looking forward to getting to know you."

"Getting to know me," she chuckled slightly and shook her head. "You know me."

"Yeah, but I don't," he offered a quick shrug. "I know parts of you. I feel like I know you behind closed doors, almost literally. I know you have a c-section scar from Hannah you hate and can't do anything about it. I know you have a scar on your upper leg from a patrol incident where you were knifed. I know things like that, but I don't know a lot of basics about you, things a man should know about the mother of his child, the woman he cares deeply for more and more each day. Just like now, I hope you like the restaurant, but I don't even know your favorite type of food, that if you were in a bad mood, what food would brighten your day. I know you like a chocolate bar, and that's about it. I don't know if you even really like shellfish or if you are allergic to any foods. I don't know anything else, like even something so juvenile as your favorite color, or a favorite author. I don't know your favorite place to shop or what a typical grocery list looks like for you. I don't know your political party or if you enjoy watching the news or not. I don't know what your first choice is with a movie. Sharon, when we've been together, we've had one thing on our mind. That's been it. It's been evolving slowly recently, but even with that, we've been focusing more on Hannah. That's all fine, but I feel like we need to back up and start again, with the basics, good, old dating, you and me, spending dinner just talking."

Sharon pursed her lips as she listened to Andy. He'd started to get worked up about the conversation, and when he finished, he let out his breath. She crossed her arms and started to speak in an almost flippant tone, "I prefer to stay out of politics. There's plenty of it in every aspect of work, and with regards to the government, it's not my favorite thing to discuss. It always causes arguments, no matter the intentions. I'd say that with our jobs, you know how I feel about certain issues, but that's for another day. My favorite color is the same as when I was five years old. It's purple because my elementary school had a purple bear for a mascot, why I have no idea," she smiled slightly and shook her head. Quickly, she dropped the memory and resumed her sharp tone, "As for authors, I prefer crime. I read a lot of Connelly books. Food, I don't like Indian, and I can't stand sushi. That's just my taste. Healthier options are preferred, but I do enjoy most anything else. Give me a good pizza for comfort food. I'm not sure I have a favorite restaurant, but I suppose if I have the choice, I like Italian food. To be honest, when the kids were growing up, I didn't have time or money to have favorites. I was a busy working mom who did her best. As I told you, I don't really date, so I haven't really been to a lot of different restaurants lately. Gavin used to always take me to dinner, but that's changed with my moving."

"Yeah, about that, I don't think dinner tonight will be of the caliber you expect with Gavin," he paused, glancing to her. "I booked a nice place, but look, that's just not who I am. I want to give you the best; I'm just uncomfortable in places where I can't even pronounce the menu. That's partly why I've been nervous to express any desire here, Sharon. I know I'm not in your league."

Sharon eyed him surprised at his comment, "I don't judge a man by fancy restaurants, do I? I don't mean to do that."

"Look, it's the vibe I always got around you before I got to know you. I'm sure that's part of your hesitation with me, and I realize we need to talk about that. I'm probably never going to be the five-star kind of guy. Really, I suppose we should have talked about that," he sighed.

"I'm not so shallow I only see that," she reached her hand toward his. "I'm not. Gavin has been my closest friend for a long time. That's what he enjoys, and he likes going to eat with me. I'm sorry if you thought I didn't want to be with you because of that."

"Thank you," he nodded and turned his focus back on the road. "You deserve the world, Sharon."

"See, I only made you feel badly," she gestured. "We were fine not knowing details."

"No, we weren't," he said directly. "If we are going to try and move forward, to try and build anything, we need to know about each other. Sharon, I want to sit down in any restaurant, scan the menu quickly, and know what I think you will order. I just want to be that guy, the guy who knows you, good and bad, faults and all. I want that."

Sharon gestured at him, "It's not one-sided."

"Okay," Andy nodded slowly and continued, "favorite color is green, and it always has been. Lately, it is even more because it reminds me of the color of your eyes. Books, I like historical fiction. I like to watch the news, but not to worry tonight; I'm not going to grill you on political topics, but I do value your opinion. We can discuss more and we progress, but know that even if we have different thoughts, we are still okay together. I love Italian food too, so we agree on something. I don't eat much meat, and that's really for my diet. I'm not against meat and want Hannah to eat it, so there's no need to worry there. My least favorite day at work is when Chief wants to find fried chicken. It's one of those things she loves, and she continually says no one in LA makes it like she could get it at home. She almost sends out the division in search of the best fried chicken and wants everyone to eat it. She doesn't believe a person can be a vegetarian," he chuckled. "Anyway, there," he gestured with his hand. "Thank you for the feedback. We're almost to the restaurant, and I am very much looking forward to seeing what you order."

Andy parked the car and glanced over at Sharon. She gave him a small smile, and he winked at her as he opened the door, gesturing for her to stay seated. He moved around quickly to open her door, and then, he offered her his hand as she got out of the car.

"You're still nervous," he leaned toward her and said quietly. "Your hand is shaking."

Sharon stood, the door open, with Andy right in front of her. Her eyes searched his, and she gave a small shrug, "I suppose on some level you are right, but how do you explain this as a first date of sorts when you share a child?"

"You don't," he said sweetly, reaching to squeeze her hand. "It's no one's business, just our own. We don't worry about it. If I've learned anything, it's that there's no right way here, Sharon. We've been doing things as they come; there's no checklist, okay?"

Sharon nodded, her eyes searching his. She leaned in and kissed him, Andy quickly returning the kiss. They stood at the car kissing for several seconds until they broke apart from each other.

"Better," she nodded. "That, you, it calms me, while at the same time, you make me nervous."

"That's your comfort zone, almost where you feel you can put on the brakes, which is ironic because that's usually how most couple increase their passion or romantic interest. We're just backwards, Sharon. We were so hot and heavy we skipped a few things, and that's where we pull back to that, the physical, not that I don't enjoy kissing you," he said, leaning in to kiss her again.

"So, kissing before dinner on a first date?" she asked, when they pulled apart this time. She eyed him.

He shrugged, "As I said, there's no right way for us. I liked it; you liked it, and I'm going to now buy you dinner. Let's enjoy our evening."

The two made their way into the small, local Italian bistro. Andy had called around to a few places and finally found this place had an open reservation spot. As they stepped inside, he felt like this place was meant to be for them. It felt cozy and perfect for their date. While it was a summer evening and outdoor patio seating had been offered, he'd asked to sit inside where he just wanted a quiet corner with Sharon.

Once the two were seated, they both opened their menus and started to study the options. Sharon almost jumped when the waiter appeared, "Good evening. I'll be taking your drink orders. Something from the bar?"

"Sharon?" Andy gestured to her to order.

"Oh, ahh, um," she glanced at Andy, who sat there casually watching her. She shook her head, "I'm sorry. I don't believe I'll have anything. He's an alcoholic." As soon as she said it, she closed her eyes. Andy groaned slightly, and the waiter didn't know how to react.

"Could I please get a cranberry juice?" Andy said quickly as he found his voice. "I'm sure you can bring her your finest red wine, yes?" Andy looked to Sharon, who glanced at him. She was still horrified at what she'd said and gave a quick nod. The waiter also nodded and stepped away quickly.

"Andy, I am so sorry," she said, now breathless and gestured with her hands. "That was completely inappropriate and just slipped. I don't know why I said that."

"Sharon, it's okay," Andy shrugged. "I am an alcoholic. Granted," he shrugged again, "I normally don't announce it to waiters, but it's the truth. This proves my point. We've not really addressed ordering alcohol when out to eat. Even in New York, I forget what you said, but you didn't order it. Is this why? Sharon, never ever make excuses for me as to why you can't enjoy a glass of wine. Please. I don't want that at all. I'm the problem, and I acknowledge that. You never have to feel like you need to refrain because of me or be worried about me. If there's ever a problem or temptation, I will tell you."

"It's insensitive," she shook her head. "If I had a food allergy, you wouldn't necessarily order that food."

"Hey, no comparison needed. It's fine. I'm okay, and I want you to enjoy that wine. You do like red wine, right?" Andy asked.

"I do," Sharon gave him a small smile. "Thank you. It's' just that Jack would have ordered alcohol. Yes, the alcoholic would have ordered something and told me he could handle one drink. That's what I know."

"And, I know what I am as an alcoholic. I also know that I'm always going to be compared to Jack, and I'm adjusting to that," he admitted.

She narrowed her gaze and gestured with her hand, "I'm trying not to do that. I'm sorry, but I promise I'm trying."

"I'm not Jack. I realize we have things in common, things you see, your dad sees, but I'm not Jack," he told her.

"My dad?" she questioned. Andy closed his eyes and groaned, and Sharon continued, "What did my dad say to you?"

"Look," he raised his hands in defense, "your dad, he's a good man. I like him, but he obviously has concerns. I wasn't even going to bring up most of it because it was one of those man-to-man chats. It was difficult, but good. He brought up I'm like Jack in many areas and worries you are only attracted to those characteristics, and with that, I'm going to hurt you like Jack."

Sharon sighed, "I was hoping you and my dad would have a quiet walk, a simple conversation. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm comparing you and that he brought it up with you."

"No," he shook his head. "I'm okay. I am an adult and can handle it. He's worried you aren't ready for me, for a relationship with me or really anyone. I think you are, at least if we take this slowly."

"Your drinks," the waiter said before Sharon could offer anything back to Andy. She eyed him, and he looked at her, warmth in his eyes. She smiled slightly at him and turned her attention back to the menu.

"Do you have any specials?" she asked. "I'm interested in trying something different tonight. That seems to be the theme tonight."

Once they'd finally ordered, Sharon turned to Andy, "Hannah," she smiled brightly, "she's into so much lately."

Andy nodded and reached across the table to clasp her hand, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to talk about Hannah tonight."

Sharon shook her head, trying to understand, "I thought," she paused. "I see. Actually, I don't. I thought you wanted to be involved in her life."

"Oh, I most certainly do," he squeezed her hand. She looked at it, almost as if she'd forgotten they were holding hands. "I want to talk about us. When I say 'us' understand I know it involves Hannah, but tonight, I want to focus on us, just you and me. I believe we need that. We need to be an us," he gestured between them, "to be an us with Hannah if that makes any sense. Basically, I want more between us than just Hannah. I want a relationship with you, Sharon."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "With Jack, it's easier to focus on the kids. He wants one thing from me, well," she rolled her eyes, "money and one more thing, but that's Jack, and," she paused again. "I'm doing it again. I'm comparing you to Jack. I'm sorry. I will do a better job. I'm trying."

"We'll try together," he smiled at her. "I think there's a chemistry here that stretches beyond physical. I think we will find we have a lot in common."

The meal continued, and the conversation improved. Both seemed to relax more, and after their plates had been cleared, Andy nodded toward Sharon, "So, murder mysteries?"

She narrowed her gaze, not following his conversation, "I'm sorry?"

"Earlier, you mentioned you like to read murder mysteries. That surprises me with work. I mean, you spend all day at work, dealing with criminals, and then, you like to go home and read more, fictional murder stories?" he asked.

Sharon smiled, "I'm strange, yes. I can't explain it. I've never been the sappy romance novel girl."

"Okay," he nodded. "Noted. How about you tell me about your best college memory while we share some dessert?"

She pursed her lips for a moment, and then, she glanced at the small dessert menu sitting between them, "Is it too late to tell you chocolate cake and cheesecake are my two favorite desserts?"

"A for effort," he pointed at her. "Just for that, Sharon," he winked, "we'll get both. You can take any leftovers home. See, we're getting to know each other, and it's actually enjoyable."

Finally, after they couldn't eat anything else, the two sat adjacent to each other at the table. Andy leaned in toward her, "I've very much enjoyed dinner with you, Sharon. Not only did I find out you prefer a Caesar salad, I learned that you love mushrooms on almost anything."

Sharon gave him a small smile, "I hope it's okay I ordered meat. My chicken was delicious, mushrooms and all."

Andy gave a small shrug, "It's always okay. Like the wine, I never want you to apologize for being you, for ordering what you want, for doing what you want. I do find it funny tonight we came to an Italian restaurant, yet, neither of us really ordered Italian."

She chuckled and shrugged, "Well, the chicken special sounded delicious. I was surprised you ordered fish."

He gave a small shrug, "It sounded good too. Pasta sounded too heavy after we got here. I'm good with my choice. My dinner-the food, the conversation, all of it-has been great."

"I've enjoyed my evening too," she smiled slightly. "Thank you for dinner."

"Of course," he gestured to the door. "Are you ready to go? This has been a great evening, but I didn't realize until just now we've been here over two hours."

"We have?" Sharon looked to her watch, horrified.

Andy smiled at her, "Great evening with great conversation. I think your dad and Ricky are okay. I'm really glad we've had this time."

"I've had a good time, better than I imagined," she gave him a small smile. She took his hand when he offered it to her to stand, and then, he gestured for her to walk in front of him on the way out. When they stepped outside the restaurant, Andy reached for her hand while he met her gaze, wanting to make sure it was okay. She tensed slightly, but then, he watched as she let out her breath and relaxed. He squeezed her hand, and the two walked side by side to his car.

"So, on many dates, I'd suggest a movie or something. Tonight, I think dinner is good. I mean, the goal is to spend time together and talk. I have enjoyed this tonight," he said.

"As I told you, I suppose I don't have a normal date routine," she paused and turned slightly toward him.

"Well, I'm hoping we are creating one, at least on the path to one. I'd like to pursue this Sharon. I've told you that I care deeply for you," he said.

Sharon's eyes searched his. She bit her lip and then spoke, "There are feelings there, Andy, feelings for you. I know I've jumbled so much of this date, but I have enjoyed it, at least when I finally let myself relax."

"So," he leaned in slightly, "you might consider another date another night?"

"Well," she said with a nervous chuckle, "I don't have any other offers. I'm sorry!" Sharon's eyes widened, horrified, and she put her hand on his chest. "That came out so badly. I didn't mean for it to sound like I'm trying to date anyone else or sleep with other men. I'm terrible at this."

Andy let go of her hand but only to put his hands on her waist and look her in the eyes, "If you want me to just be Hannah's dad and nothing more, say it. We can keep this just that, but," he ran his thumbs over her hips and looked into her eyes, "If you want me in your life, as the man you can call after a bad day, the man who will buy you a pizza because he knows now it's your secret indulgence, or the man who knows what you want at the end of the day, I want to be there as that man. I know I'm not here all the time, but I want to be the man in your life, Sharon. Back home, there's no other women in my life, and I haven't looked at another woman in some time. I want to be with you, and we can take baby steps here. Tonight was one date. We take one day at a time."

She nodded and cleared her throat, "Maybe by the next visit, this won't feel so awkward."

"I hope so," he smiled at her. "I'd like to come for Hannah's birthday if that's okay? I know that is a reminder of what I signed away, what I walked away from, that I wasn't there that day, but Sharon, I wanted to be there then, and I really want to be here for her birthday."

"I'd really like you to come," she said, a trembling smile on her face. "I'd really like that. I'm surprising myself, wanting you to come, hoping you will come, but yes, I would like that."

"Then, I'll be here. I won't be an absent dad; I won't miss her birthday," he said, his thumb still running up her side.

"Can we go home now and check on her? It's late, and I'm sure she's sleeping, but I think I'd just enjoy being with you at home now," she admitted.

Andy raised his eyebrow at her, surprised at her admission, and he leaned in to kiss her again, "I'd enjoy that very much," he said after their short, but sweet kiss. They joined hands again and started for the car.

"My kids asked me today if I was happy," Sharon told him. Andy hadn't asked about her conversation with the kids; he didn't want to pry and hoped she would tell him more when she was ready. "My kids asked if you were the kind of man who curled up with a movie and a bowl of popcorn with me, which is odd, but a good question . Truthfully, I admitted I didn't know that. I told them I was trying to be happy, but I couldn't pinpoint what about you made me happy, if anything, but it hit me as we were walking that I'd like to do that tonight, if it's not too late."

"It's never too late," he stopped when they reached the car and looked at her. "I mean that in every meaning of the word. I'd love to watch a movie with you tonight, to curl up with you and learn about your movie habits. I hope you are able to tell the kids I make you happy. That's what I want, Sharon, to make you happy. Thank you for telling me that."

"I suppose I'm realizing that there's more to a real relationship than just a good time in the bedroom, which sound so stupid. I'm an intelligent woman and should know that. I guess, no, I know, I've just never had that experience, that level of a relationship, and I want to try with you," she smiled slightly.

"So, for tonight, it's just a couple watching a movie, nothing more?" he asked.

She tried to hide her smile, "Well, I didn't say that. If more develops later," she gave a quick shrug, "I suppose as you tried to tell me, our physical relationship is getting better because we are getting more involved. If we explore that later," she grinned, "so be it."

"Who am I to argue?" he winked at her.


	71. Chapter 71

"Get in that car, now!" Provenza yelled at Andy and pointed to the passenger door. "It's a good thing the chief was hungry because your mouth was about to get you in trouble."

"I'm sorry," Andy said when he finally sat down in the car and looked over at Provenza who was also getting situated in his seat. Andy gestured with his hand, "It's been a long week, and I'm completely disgusted about this case."

"It's another murder, some idiot, and finally, we caught him. Not to be insensitive, but what is it about this particular case? Most of the time, it's obvious when one bothers you, but this one, friend hates friend. We see that all the time."

"It's Saturday morning! How are you now aware of that? We're back here after chasing around the clues to nab this dirt bag, and it's finally time to close this out on a Saturday. I can't believe we are working on a Saturday!" Andy yelled.

Provenza turned to him, still sitting in the parking garage, "We work Saturdays all the time. What's going on? Do you have plans? I know we've been working around the clock this week and haven't had time to catch up with one another, but what is it? Oh, please tell me you have some hot date, Flynn. Finally," he rolled his eyes, "tell me you are ready to get back out there."

"No! I told you I'm not interested in dating, at least no one here. I told you I've been talking to Sharon more and more," he sighed.

Provenza scowled, "Let me guess-you were going to drive all the way there again. I thought you were done with that, Flynn. When is the last time you saw her?"

"Last month," he blurted out and closed his eyes then in a sigh. Andy hadn't told Provenza he'd been getting more and more serious about Sharon. It just hadn't come up lately. Work had been crazy, and honestly, he was trying to keep things quiet because he was sure the moment he said something, the relationship would blow up on him. He didn't want that, and with that in mind, it was like if he kept it quiet, it was keeping it away from a disaster.

"You saw the captain last month?" Provenza asked, his mouth hanging open as they left the parking garage. Provenza had volunteered for the food run only because Andy had been ready to blow his top at work. He'd been short and argumentative with everyone, and Provenza knew Andy needed to get out of the building. Plus, as he'd told Andy on the elevator, going for food meant he could decide where to go. "Why haven't I heard about this, Flynn?"

"I've just been trying to figure it out," Andy shrugged.

"I though for some reason that you two were off again, that you were dealing with Hannah, but that was it. I figured something had happened," Provenza glanced at him.

"Something did," Andy nodded. "Sharon finally admitted she cares about me," he gave Provenza a small smile. "We're, we're working on things," he gestured with his hand. "Of course," he said as he got louder and started to get frustrated, "we can't do that when I'm stuck here in Los Angeles!"

"Flynn, I'm sure even the captain understands work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but surely, she'll still want to see your sorry self another weekend," he eyed him.

"It's Hannah's birthday!" Andy blurted out. "She was born a year ago today!"

Provenza let out a long sigh and nodded, "Right, Flynn, I'm sorry; I forgot."

"She's one!" Andy exclaimed. "The one thing I'm trying not to be is a deadbeat dad. My kid, the kid I sighed away my rights and will one day know that, is turning one. I've been trying to be a better dad to her than to my older two kids, and here we are-first big day, her first birthday, and I'm stuck here in Los Angles."

"I'm sure Hannah will be okay, Flynn. I mean, she's one. She doesn't know it's her birthday. It's the thought that counts. Can't you go see her next weekend? Wait," he nodded. "We're on call."

"Right, we're on call, and we were stuck here last weekend too. It's not even that. I had plans to be there today, on her birthday, for her party. Sharon's dad will be there, and I'm looking worse and worse to the guy."

"Her dad? Hard to imagine the captain having a father," he chuckled lightly.

Andy smirked at him and gestured, "Yes, her dad will be there. I told you I met him after the funeral. Well, what I haven't told you is that he ahh, he and I had a chat, more than a chat last month."

"What the?" Provenza looked to him, shock on his face. "Flynn what happened last month, and why am I just hearing about this now? I'm supposed to be your best friend."

"It's all complicated. You know that there are many people involved in a relationship, often too many people," he grumbled and ran his hand through his hair. "So, I was with Sharon and Hannah last month. I was staying at her place," he explained, as Provenza turned toward him, eyeing him. Andy raised his hand in defense, "Yeah, yeah, we're getting closer. I'm staying with her, like for the weekend. It's not just a well," he gestured, "you know. I mean, she's not just a woman, any woman. Provenza, I care about her, and we're a couple now, I guess. I mean, I want that, but with that, I'm staying with her in Flagstaff."

"Oh, would you just get to the point!" Provenza yelled. "I don't need the Dr. Phil analysis!"

"The point is Sharon and I were surprised my last visit. It was Saturday morning, and we were having a lazy Saturday," he shrugged. "She and I had finally talked. Hannah had been up earlier, and she was taking a nap. While she was doing that," Andy stopped talking a moment, a small smile on his face.

"Oh, wipe off the grin," Provenza swatted at him. "I can imagine what you two were doing," he scowled. "Go on."

"I was in the kitchen making breakfast in my boxers, and Sharon's dad and son walked in, surprising her with a visit."

Provenza's hand hit the steering wheel, "Are you kidding me? What did she do?"

"She came running out when I called for her, and yeah, that wasn't the best idea either because of what she was wearing," he sighed and shook his head. "Let's just say it's not what you want your dad and son to see."

"Please tell me for my own sake she had something on!" Provenza yelled.

"She did, just not much," Andy added. "Anyway, we ended up being there together all weekend. Her dad and son stayed at a hotel, but needless to say, it was awkward. While I'd at least met her dad, I hadn't met Ricky, not officially, and I did. She told the kids about me after that, and this last month now, she's been answering to the firing squad with them. Her dad and I had a heart to heart, and I know he doesn't think she's ready for me, and with that, that I'm not good enough for her. I wanted to be there this weekend, for my daughter, for Sharon, and to show her family I'm trying to be a stand-up guy, but instead, I'm here with you."

"Well, when's the party?" Provenza gestured.

Andy checked his watch, "Crap, it's in another hour. Let me call Sharon now before it starts. It's nothing big, Sharon, her dad, son, the lady she works with at the flower shop, and I think two other people she knows. I can't believe I'm missing it all. I haven't officially met these people, and she was going to introduce me."

"An hour!" Provenza yelled. "Flynn! How am I supposed to help you when you keep things from me? You've been moping around work all day, and here, you tell me your kid is having a party in an hour. I can't even come up with an excuse to get you there then."

Andy just nodded as he pulled up her number. He put up his hand to silence Provenza while he waited for Sharon to answer, "Hey," he smiled softly. "Just wanted to call before the party. Provenza and I are on a food run for work." Andy listened while she spoke, and Provenza eyed him as he did, "Yeah, we're wrapping up, but it's going to be all day. I hate this; I hate myself for missing it all. I know," he nodded. Finally, after more silence, Andy nodded, "I miss you too. I'll call later."

Andy dropped his head and sighed while Provenza continued to drive. He had decided to get sub sandwiches for the team. It was just after a normal lunchtime now, and the team hoped to wrap the case by 5:00, a normal workday by standards, but with it being a Saturday, a day they weren't scheduled to work, it was a very long, full day. "So?" Provenza asked.

"She's got the party ready," he shook his head. "I can hear both excitement and disappointment in her voice. I'm afraid this will just be another strike against me. She's started to let her guard down with me, and I worry this will cause her to pull back, to withdraw and not trust me. I hate it."

"Flynn, even if you left this second, you would miss the whole party. You should have told me," Provenza told him.

"And what?" Andy said, clearly exasperated. "Sorry, Chief, but I can't work today because it's my kid's birthday. Oh, what's that guys? You think my adult kid will understand, yeah, well, it's for my baby. Oh, you didn't know I had a baby? Yeah, I have a one-year-old, and when you've picked up your jaw from the floor, here's even more. I have a daughter with Sharon Raydor, right, the one in the same. Oh, and if you really want to know why she retired and moved, it's mainly because of me. She couldn't stand being in the same city as me. We really were just sleeping around any chance we got, and man, she was great in bed. Funny thing is that now, we actually care about each other. Oh, did I forget to mention I signed away my rights to my kid because I've been such a lousy father and drunk most of my adult life? Yeah, Sharon, she's as crazy as you think because she's even now giving my sorry self a chance. So, there it is, Chief and team-I need to make a what, seven- or eight-hour drive to see my baby's birthday. I'd like to see my baby's mother too where I'd planned to make up for lost time since we see each other once a month or so. There you have it. While I leave all of you to finish the case, I'll just be seeing my kid and sleeping with Raydor," he grumbled. "You really wonder why I didn't say anything?"

Provenza listened and was surprisingly quiet. Finally, he said, "Look, Flynn, about the party-I can't get you there for it now. I know this whole thing is a mess. Let's get lunch for everyone, get back to work, and let's see if we can get you out of there at a decent hour, okay? I know you, and if you have even an hour with them, you're going to drive over there for the weekend, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah," Andy nodded. "I'd drive all that way and back to see them for an hour this weekend. Look, I don't expect you to get it, but it's about proving I am changing, that I can change, and that I can be there for them. Sure, Sharon gets that work comes in the way sometimes, but I can't let them down this weekend. It's too important. I don't expect you to get it, a one-year-old birthday, but it's everything to me, Provenza."

Provenza nodded, "Let's see what we can do."

Andy didn't have much luck getting out of work early that afternoon. In fact, it was almost as if the odds were stacked against him. Provenza had mentioned to Chief that it would be good for Andy to get to a meeting, but Chief, as she could be at times, was insensitive to the issue. She told Andy that he could catch a meeting that evening after work was over, and if he needed to find one, she was sure that Fritz could help Andy find one. Realizing that Andy wasn't going to get out of work early, he tried to work as quickly as he could to wrap the case. Unfortunately, that didn't come until almost 7:00 that evening.

"Lieutenant, we are going for drinks. Care to join us? I'm sure Lieutenant Provenza could use a ride," Julio smiled.

"No thanks," Andy waved to them. "I am going to enjoy what is left of my weekend," he said, grabbing his keys quickly. "Ahh, I guess I'll see everyone at 8:00 AM Monday morning," he threw a wave to them as he walked quickly toward the doors. He caught Provenza's eye and gave him a nod.

Andy rushed to the elevator, and he turned to find Provenza following him, "You going to drive all the way there even now with it this late?" Provenza asked.

"Yeah," Andy nodded. "I figure I can make it by 3:00 or 4:00 this morning because there's a time change too. Look, it's not idea, but it is what it is. I'm going to surprise Sharon. She thinks the weekend is a lost cause, but this is too important. I'm sure you think I'm crazy, but Provenza, this is my life, my future, my family. Traffic should be light driving through the desert. I'll be fine. I'll get some coffee to stay awake. I can get there by 4:00 at the latest, hopefully, and then, I've got time. Call me crazy, but I may even get a little shut eye there tomorrow evening and drive straight back to work here. If I leave by midnight, I could be back for work. That gives me about 21 hours there."

"You really are an idiot, Flynn, an idiot stuck on the captain," he sighed. "Just, just be careful," he looked up and patted Andy on the shoulder. "Listen, tell the little one, well," he rolled his eyes, "what am I saying? She's one, but when you stop for that cup of coffee, get her something from me. Here's some cash. Get her a stuffed animal or something and take a picture of it with her so I know you didn't just keep the money."

Andy raised his eyes at Provenza and took the money he was handing him, nodding, "You're going soft in your old age, Provenza. I know you like my kid," he winked at him. "I'll get her something. Thanks. Call me later if you want. I'll just be driving. Catch me up on the game scores. That would be helpful, and I'll be in touch. As long as there aren't any problems, I'll be back at work on Monday."

Provenza gave him a small nod, "Just use your head, Flynn, for once. This whole mess started because you thought with other body parts. Think with your head. I realize the captain will be part of this," he gestured in the air, "for good, but the idea of you settling down with her in any way," he shook his head. "I didn't see it, but you seem to be thrilled."

Andy stepped onto the elevator and nodded, looking back, "She's wonderful, Provenza. I don't know where this will go because we both have our issues, but I'm stepping up for my kid. I'm doing that. I love my kid, and honestly," he shook his head. "I can't believe I'm telling you this before I've said it to Sharon, but I love her." The doors started to close, and Provenza rolled his eyes.

"We may need to have that head examined Flynn!" he yelled out as the doors closed.

Andy raced to get out of the city, making no stops until he could see the Los Angeles city lights in his rearview mirror. He had been working on this same case for days, and it felt good to get away from it. Thank goodness it was over, and at least with Monday, they would have a fresh start to the week. He couldn't believe he had missed his baby girl's first birthday party. Sharon had sent him a few pictures from the party earlier in the day, and he'd barely had time to stop and look at them. Chief had been in rare form about getting the work done, partly because Pope was breathing down her neck and also partly due to the fact she had told the team her parents were on their way to L.A., and she was always a mess when they were in town. Yes, he understood it, but it really had been the perfect storm of problems. Now, he was on his way, and by his calculations, even with gas and a quick dinner stop, he should be to Sharon's place by 3:30. He wanted to surprise her, a little at least. He knew that if he called her now and told her he was on his way, she'd stay up waiting and worrying. He didn't want that. He'd told her he would call when he could; she knew that, and he would call when he got to town. Sure, it would wake her, but he didn't think she'd mind hearing that he was just on the other side of the door from her. Yes, he'd have a few hours in town with Sharon and Hannah, and he hoped to make the best of it.

Provenza called Andy around 11:30 to check in on him, and it was clear Provenza had been sleeping in his own recliner at home. The conversation didn't last long, but Andy did ask about the baseball scores. The two talked for a few minutes, and then, they hung up, not before Provenza asked if Andy had bought anything yet with his money. Andy assured him he was stopping again soon and would purchase a stuffed animal. His chance came a half hour later when he stopped at a large all-night truck stop for gas and another cup of coffee.

Inside the gas station, Andy found a wall of stuffed toys, things he was sure truck drivers picked up for their families while out on the road. It didn't take him long to study the animals; one just stuck out to him. It was a medium-sized pink pig, about the size of a large travel mug, which he noted were on a stand next to the stuffed animals. He picked up the pig and saw it had a tail that moved. This would be perfect. There was something even fitting about the pig's face; it just reminded him of Provenza. He grinned and chuckled lightly, yes, standing in a truck stop after midnight with a stuffed animal pig. This would be perfect. He checked the price tag and noted it was in Provenza's budget. Andy took a picture of both the pig and price tag, knowing his friend would ask, and he sent it to him as a message, "Ta da! Here is your gift. I'm sure Hannah will love her pig, and I've named him Louie."

"You got her a pig?" the reply came a minute later as he was standing in line with his pig and cup of coffee.

"Sure did, and if you don't like it, buy her your own gift next year," he told him. "She's my kid, and I'm not going anywhere. In fact, just put the date on your calendar. It's important enough for you to remember it."

Andy continued with the rest of his drive, and every now and then, he glanced to the passenger seat where Louie the Pig was seated. Each time, he just chuckled at the sight. Hannah would like it. It was pink, after all, and she liked a pink blanket and bunny she had, so he thought she'd like the pig too. It meant a lot to Andy that Provenza had done that, even if he continually messed around with the guy. Provenza was still a good friend, and he made a note to be more open with the guy about things with Sharon. Yes, when he returned from his trip, he planned to tell Provenza all about it, everything. Well, he smiled to himself, maybe he wouldn't tell Provenza everything.

The last few hours of his trip moved along rather quickly. He lost himself in thought, thinking a lot about Sharon and Hannah. While this was all new, this relationship with Sharon, he was sure it was something that he wanted forever. It was way too soon to talk about any permanent plans or changes, but his feelings for her were growing stronger by the day, even by the minute. He made the last hour of the drive without much traffic, and he found himself pulling into her quiet complex almost exactly at 3:30. He was exhausted, but it was a good exhaustion, one knowing that he would get to curl up with a woman he did love. He couldn't tell Sharon yet; she wasn't ready for that. He wasn't sure their relationship was ready for that, but he recognized the feelings growing inside of him. He pulled out his phone after he parked to call her. He glanced to her unit, hoping she wasn't too alarmed at his call.

"Hey," he said quietly into the phone. "I know it's late."

"Are you just leaving work?" she said in her sleepy state. "I didn't want to call earlier and bother you. I know you've had a rough week, and I also knew you'd call when you could."

"Yeah, about that," he looked around and opened his car door. "Come to your door," he said into the phone and added, "please."

"What?" she asked, almost breathless. "Andy, what?"

"I'm here," he told her. "I couldn't let you down; I couldn't let Hannah down. We worked all day, and I finally left this evening. I've been driving as fast as I could, well, just over the speed limit, but I made it. I wanted to be here Sharon."

Andy started to walk toward her door, and as he did, he saw lights come on inside of it. Sharon was quiet on her end, and then, he saw her door open. She stepped out into the dim light, the phone still at her ear. He stopped just to stare at her. Her long hair was all swept to one side on her shoulder, and she just looked beautiful to him. He took a deep breath, and before he could say anything, she spoke.

"You came," she said, shaking her head with a small smile. As Andy approached, he could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Nothing could keep me away," he said, opening his arms to her. She moved quickly to him, and he wrapped her in an embrace. Sharon quickly had her lips on him, and he returned the kiss. She was frantic, shocked he'd come, but desperate for more.

"I can't believe you drove all the way here. Her party, it's over, and you still came."

"You needed to know," he told her between kisses. "You needed to know that I wouldn't walk away, that I wouldn't give up. I will do anything for you and Hannah," he said, pulling back slightly to look at her.

Sharon let out an almost nervous laugh as she looked at him. She shook her head and pursed her lips, "Andy Flynn, you certainly surprised me. I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say. Let's go inside. I'm hoping to find a nice warm bed for the night," he flashed a small smile at her.

"You won't even be here 24 hours, will you?" she asked as he wrapped his arm around her back. The two walked toward her door.

"Nope," he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I know we could barely stand being in the same room for five minutes, but I'm telling you now, Sharon, that whether we have five minutes, five hours, or more, I'll do anything right now to be here with you."

Sharon led him in the door and turned to lock it when he was inside. She ran her hand up his arm, her eyes sparkling, "We'd better make the most of your time," she grinned. "I hope you aren't too tired."

"For you?" he winked. "Let's make the most of the time we have."


	72. Chapter 72

He was vaguely aware of a hand tapping the side of his face. Man, he felt terrible, like he'd barely slept. It reminded him of how he'd felt many times when he'd been drinking, almost like he had a hangover, but he knew he didn't have that. He was just exhausted. The last few weeks of work were catching up with him. As he became more aware, he realized there was someone tapping his face, and he quickly remembered where he was. He couldn't believe how out of it he felt because there was no way he wanted to forget the amazing night he'd had. Sharon. He was with Sharon. Yes, he'd had a crazy couple weeks at work, but he'd driven most of the night to be here with Sharon, and he certainly didn't mind Sharon patting his face. He put his hand up to clasp hers and kiss it, but as he did, he realized it wasn't Sharon.

Andy opened one eye, as he had his other still almost buried in his pillow, and he let out a low hum at the sight, "Morning, Gorgeous," he grumbled and pulled her small, pudgy hand to his. He kissed it and shifted to pull Hannah toward him. She smacked at his face again, and he heard Sharon chuckle.

"She's been determined to wake you," she said.

"Why didn't I notice you getting up or bringing Hannah into the bed? That's disturbing to me," he grumbled. Hannah crawled onto Andy's chest when he shifted to get a view of Sharon. He groaned when Hannah did that, but it allowed him to see Sharon propped up on her arm, her hand at her head as she was on her side studying them. "A very good morning," he grumbled, eyeing her. She'd changed out of her "Mom" look as she'd told him, capri length sleep pants and a shirt and now had on a beautiful deep purple chemise, definitely not kid-appropriate. "What time is it?"

Sharon shifted closer now that Hannah was crawling up Andy. He looked at the baby as Sharon answered, "So full of questions this early in the morning," she said. She put her hand on Hannah's back so she didn't fall as she tried to climb Andy. "I think she's intrigued by you being here. She doesn't seem to remember your last visit."

"Yeah," he groaned as she smacked at his head again. "I was afraid of that. I'm just the random stranger taking up her mom's time."

"Speaking of time, it's just after 7:00. I thought about taking her into the kitchen for breakfast, but something told me you'd want to see her, even with little sleep," Sharon explained.

Andy ran his hand over Hannah's face, her hair even longer now than it had been his last visit. Sharon had said she couldn't bring herself to cut the length in the back, but she was trying to keep it cleaned up around her face. Hannah's hair seemed even darker, and his daughter was going to have beautiful, long, almost black hair.

"7:00," he repeated. "Uggh, I guess I will take the what, not even two hours of sleep?"

Sharon chuckled and moved closer, kissing him quickly on the lips as she snuggled up to his side, "You weren't complaining last night."

"Still not," he said. "I mean, now that I think about it, it is a little troubling a man shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the night, you invite him into your bed, do unmentionable things with him-at least unmentionable in the presence of a small child here, and let him stay."

Sharon burst out laughing and moved over him again to kiss him. Andy had one arm around Hannah so she didn't fall, and he then, tried to pull Sharon in for a kiss, "This is why I drove all night, right here. I mean, last night, too," he flashed a smile at her and added, "you were amazing."

"I'm exhausted," she told him. "I can't imagine how tired you are. At least I got a couple hours of sleep before you got here, but just when I think things with us can't get any better-" she stopped and looked at him.

"They do," he said, a small smile on his face. "I think I fell asleep on you after our shower."

"You did," she nodded. "I'd just turned off the light again to snuggle up with you, and I think you were asleep before I even moved my hand from the light. You seemed out of it. Do you even remember me turning out the light?"

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head. "It's all a blur. I was trying to figure out who was tapping my face this morning, and I'm delighted to see it was this kiddo," he said, pulling Hannah on his chest.

"Maaaaaaaaa,"she said loudly and grinned, her small teeth visible. "Maaaaaaaa," she repeated and looked to Sharon.

"So, we're still stuck on that, huh?" Andy asked, chuckling quietly.

"She is, but daycare is working on more words now, as I'm trying to do so at home," she told him. Just then, the cat jumped up on the bed and started walking over Andy's feet. He caught Hannah's eye.

"Kiki! Kiki!" Hannah squealed at the sight of the cat. Andy raised his eyebrow at Sharon, who was still there, her hand on her head, her hair now falling all around her, and he shook his head at her.

"She's saying 'kitty' better," she shrugged slightly.

He nodded, "Glad to see the cat is still alive here, Sharon. For not wanting a cat, he seems to be pretty content, and Hannah seems to be happy with her pet." The two watched as Hannah tried to crawl toward the cat, Sharon moving quickly to grab Hannah before she went off the side of the bed.

"This probably isn't a good time to tell you, but I'm not sure there is a good time to tell you. My dad and Ricky will be coming over around 9:30 this morning for breakfast," Sharon said and tilted her head more toward Andy. "They don't know you are here yet. I've been rather busy, ahh," she smiled as she thought, "entertaining you since you arrived."

"You're just adding that part to get me thinking about last night," he smiled slightly at her. "Okay, well," he sighed and nodded. "I mean, I was planning to see them at Hannah's party, so it doesn't surprise me, I guess. Okay," he nodded. "Breakfast. I can do breakfast; I can even make breakfast. What's for breakfast?"

Sharon, who now had Hannah in her lap, reached over to clasp Andy's hand. He was still lying there, talking to Sharon, and she said, "Let's see-we didn't have a set menu. Ricky loves breakfast."

"Pancakes?" Andy asked. "How would that be? I'll make them if you want."

Sharon pursed her lips and pointed at him with her free hand, "You drove hours to see us, you barely slept, you have to make that long drive back at some point today, and yet, you are volunteering to make pancakes for my family?"

He looked to her, "Yup," he said with a quick nod. "Here's a secret," he said as he whispered loudly. "Making the pancakes gets me standing, which means I won't fall asleep on you."

Sharon burst out laughing and turned Hannah toward him. She started to crawl toward Andy, and then, Sharon followed, kissing him quickly. She then nodded and said, "Deal. I'll do the bacon and sausage. Ricky likes both, and my dad does too, truth be told."

"Perfect. Well, I guess we should get out of bed, even though I hate the idea and feed the kiddo."

"For once, please let me do something for you. You go take a shower," Sharon gestured to the bathroom. "I'll take care of Hannah right now. I know you want to spend time with her, but take a moment to relax. You deserve it."

"I don't deserve anything," Andy shook his head and glanced to Sharon, who now had Hannah in her arms. "I mean, I missed her birthday. I feel horrible about that, and I'm sure it didn't earn any points with your dad or Ricky."

"Don't worry about that," she said, putting her hand on his as he stood now by the side of the bed. She squeezed it and leaned up to kiss him, "You've been doing everything to surprise me. You've been surprising me for a long time now, Andy. I know where you wanted to be, that work was unavoidable. Enjoy your shower," she said in a low, slow tone as she winked at him and stepped away with Hannah.

Andy groaned and said quickly, "It won't be as good as last night."

He took a rather quick shower because he did want to spend every minute of his trip with them. It was fine Sharon's dad and Ricky were coming for breakfast, even though, he was looking forward to a trip that didn't involve them. It came with the territory, family seeing each other. As he finished his morning routine, he tried to shave quickly without cutting himself. He could hear Sharon in the kitchen area with Hannah, talking to her, and it made him smile. It sounded normal, even though nothing about this was normal. He wanted normal, with them, all the time. Quickly, Andy paused. He looked in the mirror and tried to recall his memory. It was a bit hazy from the night before, but had he? He put down his razor, still shaving cream on his face, and he walked out into the living room area, meeting Sharon's gaze as he looked to the kitchen.

"Did I say something last night before I fell asleep?" Andy asked Sharon, tilting his head slightly. She was getting out all of the ingredients to make pancakes, and it was all he could do to not go over there and take off her robe because he knew what lingerie she had on under it. He saw that the counters were covered with the food and tried to refocus on Sharon. Honestly, this probably wasn't the best time for this conversation, but it had hit him as he'd been shaving.

She glanced up from the counter toward Hannah who was babbling in her high chair. Andy followed her gaze, and then, he looked back at Sharon. She briefly glanced at him and then back to where she was working. He nodded to himself, but Sharon just gave a small shrug, "We were going to sleep, Andy. You had a long day."

"I told you I love you, didn't I?" Andy continued to look at her. She paused and took a deep breath.

"You were mumbling as I turned off the light. It's fine, nothing, really," she shrugged.

"It's not just nothing!" Andy said loudly, and that had Hannah glance toward him too. He knew he looked ridiculous with all of his shaving cream as he stood there. Sharon finally stopped and met his stare.

"Andy," she sighed and shook her head. He took a few steps closer to her so at least he was on the other side of the kitchen counter.

"Look, it's not the way I wanted to say it. I just realized it as I was shaving. I know I was tired, almost out of it, and I should have told you in a different setting even though we'd just had an amazing time together both in the bedroom and with our shower, but it's true, Sharon. I love you," he smiled sweetly at her.

"I'm not sure what to say," she paused and pursed her lips. "I don't want to hurt you, but I'm not there, at least not yet. That's partly why I didn't want to get into this," she frowned. "I am not sure of anything, any of my feelings. It wasn't that long ago I even acknowledged I cared about you, Andy. It's too soon, at least for me. I realize you've maybe been dealing with this longer than I have, at least addressing your feelings, but I just," she shook her head.

He sighed and ran his hand over the back of his head, "Yeah, okay. Look, I didn't mean for it to come out like that, when I was almost asleep next to you. I wasn't planning to tell you like that."

She was looking at him, her hands on the counter and just nodded, "Okay, I mean, I realize that. It's, it's, fine," she said, waving her hand.

Andy sighed too and dropped his head, "It's not just fine."

"I didn't mean it like that," she paused. "Look, I don't know what I feel. I don't. I thought I loved Jack, and you can see what happened with that. With us, it started as just physical, something we both needed. I never saw it being more than that, and while we are a couple years down the road now, I know you will think I'm crazy to say it's taking me by surprise, but it is."

"Fair enough, so maybe we can talk more later? I'm not pressuring you, Sharon, but it is out on the table, and yeah," he smiled softly at her and nodded, "I love you."

She gave him an almost nervous smile and nodded, "Thank you. We can talk later."

"Maaaaaaaaa," Hannah called, pulling the two from their conversation and their intense gaze.

"I'll ahhh, finish shaving," he nodded and retreated to the bedroom, wanting to kick himself for how he'd handled that. It had hit him while he'd been staring in the mirror; he'd mumbled that to Sharon as they were finally going to sleep the night before.

She'd turned off the light, and he had tugged on her arm, pulling her toward him. They'd had a very passionate, but sweetly romantic time together after he'd arrived. First, they had checked on Hannah, and they had just stood there looking at her sleeping sweetly. Andy had finally wrapped his arms around Sharon, as he stood behind her. He'd started to kiss her neck, his feelings as he watched Hannah and stood with Sharon, almost overwhelming. Sharon had turned in his arms, quickly returning his kisses. He'd started to tug her toward her bedroom where they'd finally ended up with the door closed. Time in bed had led them to a late night shower, and finally after all that, they were back in bed, pleasantly exhausted in each other's arms. He'd kissed her head and said, "I love you," in his low mumbling tone. He didn't remember anything after that, which he knew meant he'd fallen asleep. It had just felt so right, so normal, and in his exhaustion, he'd almost forgotten he'd said that. She'd even asked him earlier if he remembered her turning off the light. She'd heard it, and she wanted to talk about it, or she had. He wanted to kick himself. Right now, though, he needed to finish getting ready. Sharon's family was coming for breakfast, and he needed to do his best with them. He knew he wasn't their favorite person, and he wanted to prove to them he was the right man for Sharon.

Ricky and Bob arrived just after 9:30, and Andy glanced at Sharon when they both heard the door open. Both were dressed for the day, and they'd had time to play with Hannah. The two looked to the door as it opened. Even with walking in on them the last trip, Sharon had told Ricky he never had to knock at his home, even if right now, it was a temporary apartment. Sharon had unlocked the door earlier, and Ricky called out as he entered, unaware Andy was there.

"Morning Mom," he yelled. The guys weren't paying attention to Andy, as they didn't know he was there, and Sharon walked to greet them.

"I hope you don't mind we have another for breakfast this morning," she said, her arms crossed as she walked across the room. "Good morning to both of you."

Bob looked up at that, his eyes widening as he made eye contact with Andy, who was rinsing his hands. Andy gave him a nod and quick wave as he moved across the room. Hannah was now on her little blanket playing on the floor. Andy bent down and ran his hand over her head as he walked by her, his hand then extended to Bob.

"Bob, nice to see you again," he nodded. "Ricky, you too," he gave a head nod at Ricky whose eyes had widened.

"Andy, didn't expect to see you this weekend. Sharon said you had to cancel," Bob said while he shook his hand.

"I had to work. I never wanted to cancel," he clarified.

"Dad, I told you he was working," Sharon gave a slight frown.

"Believe me," Andy nodded, "I wanted to be here. I've been dealing with dead bodies the last couple weeks," he chuckled, a definite nervous laugh. "Missing Hannah's birthday, that about killed me," he said with a small smile. "I always wanted to be here."

Sharon put her hand on Andy's back, "Dad, Andy drove here all night to be here just for today. He has to drive back to L.A. tonight for work tomorrow. I really appreciate his effort. This weekend meant a lot to him."

Bob eyed Andy and just nodded, "Well, I like to see effort and rarely see it made for my grandkids. Andy, I realize work is unavoidable at times, and well, at least you are working and not taking money from my daughter," he sighed. "If you drove all night, I suspect you are hungry."

"Starving," Andy smiled at him. "I'm making pancakes."

"I'm in," Rick y smiled. "Pancakes are my favorite."

"So I heard," Andy smiled. "I'm cooking."

"You drove and now you are cooking?" Bob asked. "You're giving Sharon a break," he nodded, eyeing his daughter. "Those are good gestures, but it still would have been good to see you here for your daughter on her birthday."

"Dad," Sharon interrupted, "why don't you and I take Hannah on a small walk before her nap? She's about ready for it; she has been up earlier than normal several days this week, and well," Sharon shrugged, "her naps have been all over the place lately."

Bob eyed Andy again and then nodded at Sharon, "Okay."

"Ahh, Ricky, want to help me finish?" Andy asked.

Ricky looked up from where he'd stopped to kneel down by his sister. He glanced at Andy and then to his mom, "Umm, sure," he nodded.

"Dad, if you get the stroller, I'll grab Hannah," she told him and gave a small nod and smile to Andy. It was clear she wanted to speak to her dad.

"Here you go, Mom," Ricky said, standing with Hannah in his arms. "So, Andy, what do you need?" Andy waved at Sharon as she and her dad stepped outside with Hannah. Andy gestured to the fruit on the counter.

"Your mom was about to slice that if you don't mind," he said. "Plus, this gives us a few moments to chat."

Ricky nodded and got to work on the fruit. Andy continued to eye him as he watched the next batch of pancakes.

"So, Ricky," Andy said.

At the exact same moment, Ricky said, "So, Andy-"

Both glanced and gave each other a small nod, and Andy gestured to him, "Go ahead, please. You were going to say something, right?"

Ricky nodded and continued to slice the fruit, "So, yeah, I mean, it's the second time I've been home, or here to where my mom is living, in the last month, and it's also the second time I've been surprised to find you here. I mean, at least this time when I came in the house, you and Mom were fully clothed," he chuckled.

"Watch it," Andy raised an eyebrow and pointed his spatula at Ricky. "You've got mostly free reign to speak, but let's be respectful; it is your mother."

"Fair enough, and actually," he gave a small smile and continued, "I respect that you stood up for her."

Andy nodded, and Ricky cleared his throat to say more, "Back to my original statement, the last two times I've come home, you've been here. I mean, this time, you showed up in the middle of my visit, but I believe the intent was to be here for Hannah's birthday. My question, is I guess, is will this be the new normal? Am I going to continue to find you here, in my mom's home, in her bed, even? I know I'm an adult, but it's something I question, mainly because I know how badly she's been hurt. I can't tell you how many times in my life I would wake up, even as a small kid, and find my dad back home. Sometimes, he'd be a 'surprise' on the couch," Ricky said, using quotations to emphasize, "and sometimes, he'd come out of their bedroom. Now, as I got older, that shocked me, the times he'd come out of their room. I mean, yeah, sure, teenager, but I'm not stupid. It's a little alarming to see it now, not that I want to completely judge you, but here, I have a little sister. At least, as far as I can see, the behavior is repeating-now even for her."

Andy nodded, "Fair enough. I'm not going to stand here and treat you like a little kid. You obviously know how your mom and I got together, and sure," he shrugged and continued, "I'm not proud of that, at least you kids knowing it. It's not easy to say we were just some what, hook up, as you would say, but it's gone well beyond that. Still, it was one of those things we never expected to get back to you kids, but Hannah and all," Andy sighed and shook his head. "It is what it is now. Your mom and little sister mean the world to me. I never would have imagined I'd have another child, but I'd do anything for her. I can understand the concern with seeing me here, wondering if you think I'm going to hurt your mom and sister, because really, that's what you are asking, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ricky shrugged. "Bottom line, sure, are you going to hurt them?"

"I'm doing everything in my power NOT to hurt them. I want to be there for them, to lessen any burden for them, but I guess I didn't know that your dad would just randomly show up that often. I can see it would be concerning," he said.

"Right, concerning for many reasons, one being that I'm worried Mom just seems to attract that," he sighed.

"Your mom is a grown woman," Andy nodded. "Don't forget that. Sure, people don't always make the right choices, but she's trying."

"If I may ask, if you even know, what is this that you are trying? I mean, I never hear a word about you, and suddenly, you're here twice this last month. You live in Los Angeles. She lives here. Again, it's hard not to compare. I know it's not the same, but my dad lives in Vegas. Granted," he shook his head, "he took off when still married to Mom, but he'd just pop in and out of our lives when convenient. I can't help but see the same."

"I do live in Los Angeles, and your mother did too. It's hard with her here, but I'm committed to seeing her, seeing Hannah. It was Hannah's birthday. That was my primary reason for being here this weekend. I get the benefit of seeing them both, but Hannah was the priority this weekend. I've messed up so much in my own life, I couldn't stand the idea of messing up, starting with her birthday."

"Yeah, well, I can't remember the last time my dad came home for my birthday; in fact, I'm not sure he still remembers when my birthday is. He'd be more likely to come home and ask me for my birthday money. I certainly hope money isn't some problem here too. Mom already had one guy take her for what he could."

Andy held up his hand to almost plead his defense, "Listen, I can assure you that I'm here to help. Ask your mom even, but I've been trying to give your mom money, not take any at all. I know it's expensive to raise a child, and I want to provide for Hannah, not that your mom can't, but I want to be part of that. I contribute to her college fund, and I have given Sharon a good amount of money for Hannah, even though she claimed not to want it."

Ricky nodded and a small smile broke on his face as he chuckled, "Let me guess-she is capable of doing it herself."

"Exactly," Andy gestured to him. "You know your mom. Look, I know you are worried, and you have some valid concerns, but I'm trying to do the right thing."

"It's just that I don't know you, not at all and just saying you are my sister's dad, well, it's not enough. My own dad is a deadbeat, so no offense, but I'm not into dads all that much, at least ones who claim to be all interested but live somewhere else."

"Maybe we can just try with each other, hmm?" Andy asked. "I get it. I really didn't realize there were the similarities with your dad, but yeah, and adding to that, is the alcohol."

"Mom said you don't drink anymore, but I know an alcoholic is an alcoholic. My dad says he's sober, as you smell the booze on him," he rolled his eyes.

"I can't promise I will never drink. That's my goal, but I can tell you I haven't had a drink today, haven't had one in years. I'm seeing your concerns and realize you have reason for them," Andy said.

"Mom said you have two other kids. How are things with them? Did drinking ruin relationships there Ike it did with my dad?" Ricky asked.

Andy raised an eyebrow; Ricky was blunt, but he appreciated that, even if he asked tough questions. Andy just nodded, "Yeah, drinking, it ruined everything for me, almost my entire life. Drinking nearly ruined me, NEARLY," he enunciated. "My kids aren't interested in much contact with me, but I'm trying. I'll keep trying. I know their birthdays, and just like this with Hannah, I want to be there for them, all of them."

Ricky just nodded. The room was quiet, and finally, he spoke, "Look, Andy," Ricky turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms, "I don't necessarily think you are a bad guy. It's just these concerns. I'm happy my mom is getting out there and dating. I was the one who wanted you two to go out my last visit because I realized any man she had here well,"he gestured his hands and continued, "any man she had let into her life like that had to be one she was trying to trust."

"She is," Andy nodded. "We are learning to trust each other. It's easier for me, but even that wasn't perfect. I almost have to learn to trust myself, your mom too."

"I want my mom to be happy, and I want my little sister to have a better father than I have had. That's really what I want. I want there to be happiness in this house, not disappointment and sadness," he explained.

"I want that too, Ricky. I really do, and I want us to get to know each other better. I think that will come with time because I plan to be here. I don't want to run you out of your own home-"

"No, that's not what I meant about you being here," Ricky frowned.

"I know," Andy nodded. "I can't promise what the future will hold here, but I love your sister and your mom."

Ricky tried to hold back a smile, but he raised his eyebrows, "Does she, Mom, know that?"

Andy almost mimicked the same expression, trying to hold back a smile, but he finally did smile, "Yeah, she knows, and it's okay, but there's a long road to anything more. I now can see a lot of that is due to the similarities with your dad."

The two head the door open, and Ricky quickly got back to work. Andy smiled at Sharon as she walked inside, and Bob followed, carrying Hannah, who was almost asleep. Bob and Sharon quietly walked Hannah back to her room, and after they were out of sight, Ricky leaned over and whispered to Andy, "One more thing-even with everything, Mom has always had a soft spot for Dad, saying Dad gave her the two greatest gifts she could ever imagine. I see that when she looks at you too, that you gave her this amazing gift with Hannah. I know I'm young, but I have also watched my mom for years. Just don't hurt her; don't take advantage of that soft spot."

Andy glanced at Ricky, this young man Sharon had raised. She was right; he was extremely intelligent and had great insight. He'd been hurt by his dad. Sharon had been hurt by her husband. Ricky had pointed out many areas in which Andy was similar to Jack. He knew some of it, but it also came as a bit of a shock. Sharon did seem to have a type, and he fit that, even when she hadn't been trying to find a man for her life. It was something he needed to address with her. He glanced at Ricky again who was focused on the fruit. He was a good kid, a good kid concerned for his mom and now his little sister. Andy had a lot of work ahead to show Sharon's family he had good intentions. There were days he needed to convince himself of that, but he knew that he loved his daughter and loved Sharon. He'd finally admitted it, and now, he just needed to continue to prove it.


	73. Chapter 73

"I really appreciate you coming here this weekend," Sharon said as they sat on the floor watching Hannah. She was now in her pajamas, ready for bed, and they were letting her get out her last bit of energy before putting her to bed. Truthfully, Andy couldn't stand the idea of putting her to bed and then having to leave; he was trying to soak up every minute with Hannah and Sharon. It had been a good day, even with Sharon's family in town. Ricky and Bob had left just after 2:00 so they could get back to Phoenix and get Ricky back on a plane to San Francisco. It had been a short enough visit it hadn't been too stressful, yet, it had been a good visit, in that he'd had a chance to speak to Ricky, hang around with Sharon's family, and hopefully show them just a little he was trying.

Andy looked up from where he had a toy he'd been holding for Hannah and gave her a soft smile, "I didn't want to be anywhere else, and I'm only sorry I couldn't get here for her party, for the whole weekend."

Sharon nodded and focused her eyes on Hannah. She was walking alongside the coffee table, still just not quite where she was walking alone. She would walk with toys and things, the little walker toys in front of her, but she was taking her time walking alone. Both adults were surprised. She seemed so ready over a month ago, but she was almost just enjoying her little milestones before anything more. She was a sweet baby, not a lot of trouble, and her eyes just moved back from one parent to the other as they spoke. Sharon was on one side of the coffee table with Andy on the other.

"I know her party was a disappointment for you. I was looking forward to you being there too. I was even going to have you formally meet a few of my friends," she told him.

Andy raised his eyebrows, "Really? I mean, I know you invited a few people, but I really hadn't thought about what you'd say to them. Okay," he sighed, "correction, I had thought about it, but I just figured you would say I was your friend, Andy."

Sharon, with her eyes trained on Hannah, looked over to Andy, and he was looking at her. She gave a small nod, "I wanted them to meet you, the man in my life and Hannah's dad. I am really trying here. I know you don't quite understand, but it's hard for me."

"I know you are trying," he gave her another soft smile as he handed Hannah the toy she wanted. "Actually, I know you are trying really hard, and I guess that's what I want you to know about me. I'm trying really hard too, just in different ways from you. I guess I understand what I feel about you, where that is an area you are still cloudy. I'm trying in my behavior with Hannah and in my acceptance with you. What I mean by that is that I put all the relationship blame of my past on me. I look at myself as not being good enough, meaning I'm not good enough for you. I'm sorting through how I feel about myself. I guess we are both just a mess."

Sharon let out a small chuckle as she nodded. The two focused on Hannah, and she rubbed her eye. Sharon cleared her throat until she met Andy's gaze. She gestured to him, "I like you, mess and all. I admit I was disappointed when you couldn't be here for her birthday, but you took me by complete surprise when you showed up last night." Hannah rubbed her eye again, and Sharon nodded to Andy, "She's going to have to go to bed. I know you don't want to say goodbye to her."

He frowned, "No, I don't. I guess putting her to bed means my trip is almost over, but I know she's tired. I'll put her to bed, if that's okay with you?"

"Of course," Sharon smiled at him. "I can share," and when Andy gave her a look, she chuckled. "I can share sometimes, and I am learning to share her with you."

Andy stood and gathered Hannah in his arms, "Pumpkin say goodnight to Mom," he said, carrying her to Sharon where Sharon kissed her. She stood, with Andy pulling her up, and he leaned in to her, "I like you too," he winked. "Are you giving out those kisses?"

Sharon closed her eyes and laughed. She leaned up and kissed Hannah again, "Yes, see, I gave out another kiss."

Andy playfully tugged at her arm and before she knew what was coming, he kissed her quickly and started toward Hannah's room. Sharon stood there, almost speechless, as he called to her, "I'll be back in a few. I hope Hannah isn't the only one getting a goodnight kiss tonight."

Andy spent almost 10 minutes with Hannah, holding her for a few, and when she started to squirm, he put her in her bed. She was tired. He knew from what Sharon had told him and the little he'd seen, she usually tried to stand when being put to bed. She didn't do that tonight. It was late, later than normal for her, and she was exhausted. He hated saying goodbye to her, and he ran his hand over her sweet little head with her hair there, all falling around her face. He would miss her; he always missed her. It was getting harder and harder to leave her, to leave them.

When he finally returned to the living room, Sharon was reading a book on her couch. She glanced up at him, and he smiled at her. "She's down for the count."

"I guess then you are getting ready to go," she pursed her lips.

He shook his head, "Not yet, no rush. I want to spend time with you, Sharon. That's what this is all about, being with both of you. I was planning to leave around 11 or so. Maybe I'll doze a little before I go. I still have time."

"Come sit," she patted next to her. "I feel like we have been through so much, but the basics, just sitting together here on the couch, for example, I feel like we've never really done."

"I'd like that," he said, moving quickly to curl up with her. Sharon moved into his side, and he wrapped his arm around her as she got comfortable next to him. Sharon hummed, and Andy let out his breath once they were comfortable.

"I've been thinking," Sharon said, slightly turning to face him.

"Okay," Andy said slowly. "Is this good or bad? Are you using that incredible mind of yours for good or evil?"

"Maybe I won't share with that tone," she said in a slightly teasing tone. "I have been thinking though."

"I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially if are there telling me you want to share. What's on your mind?" Andy asked.

"My break, Fall Break," she clarified, "is at the end of October. Maybe Hannah and I could make a trip to Los Angeles."

Andy pulled back slightly, "You serious? I'd love for you to come to Los Angeles. I know it's a big trip, trust me, and I'm not making it with a baby."

"It's a long drive, yes," she nodded as she thought. "We will be fine, and I want to see you more," she said with a tight, small smile. "I miss you, and you haven't even left yet."

"I'd really like that, for you to come to Los Angeles. I have plenty of room at the house. I'll even take time off work," he told her.

She nodded as he spoke, "Great, I'll check the calendar. Another thing," she said, now, putting her head on his shoulder so she didn't have to look him in the eye, "I keep going over what you said to me-"

"That I love you?" Andy asked. "It's true. I told you that telling you halfway asleep wasn't my ideal way to express that, but it's the truth. I think it slipped out because I was just so happy and comfortable, there in your arms. You've made me feel things I've never felt Sharon."

"I feel a lot for you; I have a lot of emotions, and I'm just not quite ready to put a label on them," she said in a very flat tone, one she was trying to use to not get too emotional. "I hope you understand. I hope you know it isn't necessarily that I'm questioning you, exactly, but I'm questioning everything."

"Sharon, I realize you may never get there. I realize we may never have an explanation for this awkwardness surrounding Hannah. I mean, the elephant in the room still lingers. I'm not legally listed as her father. Your kids don't know that. I know your dad does, and I appreciate he hasn't spilled our personal lives to everyone, but I know that there's a lot of awkwardness with us that may always be there."

"I can't believe I'm saying this because I felt so strongly before, but Andy," she turned back to him, putting her hand on his chest and looking him in the eye, "I've realized I don't care what a piece of paper says, not now, at least. I know it's a legally binding document, but I don't want to talk about it or deal with it right now. Gavin will give me the "I told you so," look when I tell him we are working on things because he cautioned me about filing the paperwork but did it. I don't want to think about a contract. I think we are doing okay by ourselves. I'm not keeping Hannah from you, and I think we are trying to move forward as a couple."

He listened, running his hand over her arm as she spoke, "Thank you for that. I guess I still just feel inadequate."

"I know, just as I feel I'm a relationship mess," she said, now leaning on his chest. "We have so much in front of us, so much, I just," she shook her head. "I've told my kids about you, my dad, and yet, I still get this panicked feeling."

"Just relax, just breathe, and just keep talking to me. I'm not trying to pressure you, and you suggesting you come see me," he grinned at her and leaned in to kiss her, "that's a good effort, Sharon. I'm already excited about it, and it's what, two months away, right?"

She nodded, "I'm not sure when we can see you before then. My semester is just getting started. I have a trip to San Francisco to see Ricky the end of September, and I'm going to see Emily the next weekend after that because her show is premiering. That's a quick trip, and I'm not even taking Hannah."

"You need me to keep her?" Andy's eyes lit up, and Sharon frowned, almost realizing she'd made a mistake.

"I already asked my dad to watch her, quite some time ago, when Emily mentioned her show. It just seemed easy. He's right there in Phoenix, and even with the flight time and all, I'm only gone just 48 hours. It's all I can do right now. I'm sorry," she sighed. "This again has nothing to do with paper, Andy. This was well before I was willing to admit we were anything more than a causal relationship."

He frowned and nodded, "I understand, but going forward, I want to be part of this, if you are saying you aren't seeing a piece of paper. Does that mean you see me as Hannah's parent, her dad, the man who created that bundle of joy with you?"

Sharon blushed slightly but continued to look at him, "I think back to that time period, when she surprised me, us," she rolled her eyes. "I know I was very standoffish with you. I know I was almost void of emotion. I suppose I could see you wanting more, and I couldn't allow that. I'm sorry. It's not an excuse, but I've told you how I viewed a lot of relationships then. To answer your question," she paused, looking in his eyes, "I know she's your daughter, even as much as I've tried to disassociate you from Hannah. She looks so much like you, and I see you every time she smiles. It melts my heart," she said, now slightly choked up. "I do really care about you, more than I think I can express."

Andy gave her a small smile and wiped his hand on her face. She had a tear, and when he did that, she shook her head, "I don't know why I'm emotional."

"We have a lot of emotions running between us," he said quietly.

"I know, and I'm just getting adjusted to you being here this weekend, and you're leaving," she sighed. Her eyes searched his, and she put her hand on his face, pulling him closer to her where she met him in a long, lingering kiss. There was a sense of desperation, of urgency, and with a lot of passion behind it. Andy pulled her further up, toward him, and when they finally broke apart, he put his head against hers.

"I have about three hours before I need to get ready to go. I want to be with you, to show you how much I care, and I just want to hold you in my arms before I go. We can even sleep a little, and then, I'll grab a shower and take a coffee for the road. How does that sound for the evening?" Andy searched her eyes and found her looking directly into his.

She leaned in and kissed him tenderly, her thumb running over the stubble on his face. She paused to catch her breath, "I'd say that sounds a lot better than discussing my dad and Ricky's thoughts about you."

He returned the kiss and replied to her, "Let's go with my idea tonight. You can fill me in on your dad and son over the phone. What I have in mind, we definitely need to do in person."


	74. Chapter 74

His idea had seemed to be a good one. As the time ticked away on the clock, he wasn't sure anymore. One thing he knew-he couldn't wait to see Sharon. It had been too long, way too long, only further intensifying his growing feelings for this wonderful woman. It was now October, Sharon's fall break, and he couldn't wait for her flight to arrive. The fight had been his idea, his surprise, and now, he was worried she was going to be cursing him for the thought.

 _"_ _Bob," he had said into the phone one evening after returning from his last trip to Flagstaff. It had been early September, and he'd been thinking about Sharon's trip. On this particular evening, she'd had a rather rough day at work and with Hannah. Hannah had been displaying her personality more and more as she continued to age. At just over one, she was starting to get frustrated more as well as demanding. Sharon had been told Hannah had a rough day at daycare, and that had continued at home. She'd tested Sharon, not that Sharon couldn't handle a baby, but it had just been one of those days. He felt badly about it when he'd gotten off the phone with her, wanting to help, but being so far away. Here, his daughter was giving Sharon a hard time. Sure, she was their daughter, but it just made him feel like a crappy dad again, not helping with his kid. After he finished his call with Sharon, his mind began to wander, and that led him to his idea and late-night phone call. "It's Andy Flynn calling," he told Bob._

 _"_ _Andy," Bob said to him._

 _"_ _Yes, ahh, I hope you don't mind my calling. Sharon gave me your number a couple weeks ago just in case I should even need it. I hope you don't mind," he said again, a bit nervous. "I wanted to discuss something with you," he explained._

 _"_ _Is there something wrong? Sharon? Hannah?" Bob asked._

 _"_ _No, no, nothing like that," Andy said quickly. "I have an idea, and I would like your help. This is something I believe we both would like to see happen."_

 _"_ _Listen, I don't want to be asked to pick sides, Andy. My daughter doesn't involve me in much of her personal life, at least where men have been concerned. Meeting you, that has been a big step, and I believe she knows I have concerns. I've shared those with you too," he said._

 _"_ _I'm aware," Andy said. "Look, I am trying, Bob."_

 _"_ _What do you have in mind?" Bob asked._

 _"_ _I'm not sure if Sharon mentioned to you anything about October, her break, fall break, to be exact," Andy explained._

 _"_ _No, nothing yet, but it sounds like you two discussed it," he said._

 _"_ _Bob, I love your daughter. I know I'm going to have to continue to prove that to you, and I intend to do that. I love your granddaughter too, my daughter. They are my world. I'm calling because I want to do something kind for them, and I think this will be something we can both do."_

 _"_ _I'm listening," Bob said._

 _"_ _Sharon wants to come to California for her break. I've got plenty of room for them here at my house and am very excited to have them come here. She mentioned she's planning to drive. You and I both know she's fully capable of driving; that's not the issue. I know it's a strain to drive like that, a long distance, with a baby. She can do it, but I'd like to do something nice for her. I was thinking that I would like to get her a plane ticket, and that's where you come in. I know it still involves her driving, but I thought she could see you in the process. She's used to driving there and flying from Phoenix, so maybe I could buy her the ticket, she could stay with you for the night, you could see her and take her to the airport the next day, and then, she could stay here. When she flies back, she'd see you again. It gives us both time with Sharon and Hannah. I don't want to make her take sides with either of us. I'll run the idea by Sharon, but I wanted to see if you were okay with it before I pitched it to her."_

 _"_ _Hmm, well," he paused to gather his thoughts, "Andy, I've never been one to speak for my daughter."_

 _Andy waited, not sure if Bob was going to say more, and when he didn't, Andy answered, "I''m aware, Bob. I just want to do this for Sharon and Hannah."_

 _"_ _My girls are always welcome here, and I cannot stop her from living her life, from visiting you in Los Angeles. It is nice to hear you thinking of Sharon. She hasn't had that in her life, a man standing up and thinking of her," he said. "I caution you, though, to recognize that Sharon has a lot going on in her mind. She seems to be trusting you more, and I expect you won't take advantage of that. I also am not so sure going to Los Angeles again and again is good for her. I'm not going to speak for her, but I caution you to think about that. Los Angeles was another chapter of her life, and I think she's finally enjoying life now that she is settled in Flagstaff. I want you to think about that as you explore things with her."_

 _"_ _I know you love her. I do too," Andy told him. "I appreciate the concern and will take that into consideration in the future too. L.A. is where I live, though, and in order for the two of us to spend time together and for me to see Hannah, we are both trying to compromise. I have been going to Flagstaff, and while I'm not keeping score, Sharon mostly stays there. She came up with this idea, at least about visiting me. I'm just trying to make it a little easier on her."_

 _"_ _As I've said, Sharon and Hannah are always welcome here. If you know Sharon, you know she doesn't like surprises, so I'd suggest you do discuss this with her, but I'll be glad to have them here anytime," he told Andy._

 _"_ _Great, thank you, Bob. I'll take good care of them here on my end, and I'm going to discuss this with Sharon. I want to help, but if she doesn't think a flight will help, so be it. I just want her to have a relaxing break; she deserves it, and I also know she sees you often on her breaks," Andy noted._

 _"_ _She does," Bob told him. "She would usually visit her mother and me."_

 _"_ _I don't want this to seem like she's avoiding you," Andy said._

 _"_ _She's a grown woman; I know Sharon, and she makes her own decisions. Now, I know she's been to see you before and kept us in the dark. I appreciate you wanting to include me in this. That's something I've not seen before; Jack was secretive and threw on a pretty boy face around me. I hope you and Sharon can figure out something that works, at least as far as Hannah is concerned. I'm still not sure how I feel about her getting involved with you, mostly because I question whether she can handle something now after Jack, but you and I know life is short. I also want you to know my concerns are really because I see a lot of similarities with you and with Jack. That's not to say you aren't different; you and Jack are different men, but I can still worry about my daughter. I'm not sure a relationship is good for either of you, but what do I know? Hannie needs her dad; I'm a firm believer in that, and I saw my other grandkids grow up without their dad. Life is short," he repeated again._

 _"_ _It is; it really is," Andy said. "I can't promise anything now other than I love her and want to support her how I can. For now, this is a way I can support her. I can be helpful with her trip."_

 _"_ _I suggest you call her," he said._

 _"_ _Thanks, Bob, and I will," Andy said._

That conversation still replayed in his head, fresh, like he'd just had it. He glanced around again, but he didn't far before his phone rang. He almost jumped, apparently lost in thought and smiled when he saw it was Sharon.

"Hey, I'm hoping this means you've landed," he grinned.

"Yes, I already have my bag," she told him. "Where should I meet you?"

"Wait, what?" Andy jumped up, surprised he'd missed her. In his daydreaming, he'd somehow missed Sharon. "I'm by the arrivals. I missed you?"

"I didn't know you were coming inside," she sighed. "Yes, I've got Hannah in the stroller and already got my bag. We're just stepping outside," she told him.

"Your flight," he glanced up at the board and groaned when he saw it had been updated. Last he had looked, it had not. "It was not updated last I checked."

"They were having all types of issues with that flight," she sighed. "It's not that long of a flight, and they just couldn't get their act together. It doesn't matter; we're here," she added.

"I'll be right there," he said, now moving quickly through the airport. He couldn't believe he'd messed up this opportunity to greet Sharon and help her with Hannah. He wanted to kick himself. "Just tell me where you are."

It took him almost five minutes to meet up with Sharon, and he was so mad at himself. When he spotted her down the sidewalk, he broke into a huge grin, and he had to hold himself back from running toward her. His eyes widened as he got closer and saw just how much Hannah was changing.

"Mamamamama," she babbled in her seat as she picked at her food. He glanced down and saw she had some Cheerios in her tray. He flashed a grin at Sharon and was surprised she moved quickly to embrace him.

"I missed you," she said into his ear quietly as they embraced. Andy pulled back to give her a proper kiss, and he felt her fingernails dig into his neck.

"I missed you both very much," he grumbled. "Whose kid is that? She's grown."

Sharon chuckled, her head still by his ear, and when she stepped back slightly, she put her hand on his shoulder. "Hi, it's good to see you."

"You too. I'm glad you made it, and I hope the flight was helpful, not a problem," he gave a slight roll to his eyes.

She sighed and shook her head, closing her eyes, "I'm never giving her raisins again."

"Raisins, why?" Andy looked to her, puzzled.

She gestured to her feet, "Everything is sticky. I told you she's started to enjoy raisins. We got all settled on the plane, and I gave her a little snack before we took off. She flung the raisins everywhere. The flight wasn't that long, but I kept feeling raisins. I sat on some, I stepped on some, and I am so disgusted about raisins right now. She was pretty proud of herself, but I just want to get the raisins off me. I'm stick, and I feel covered in raisins."

Andy tried to hold back his laugh, but he looked down at Hannah, who was now interested in the talking adults above her, "Raisins, huh? Hannah, Mom said no more raisins."

"Mama," she grinned and flashed a smile, her teeth showing.

"Oh, that smile," she groaned and looked away. Andy chuckled again, and Sharon turned and playfully swatted at him. "I told you I can't look at that smile. It reminds me of someone else."

"Me?" Andy winked at her. "I'd think you'd want to look at that smile all the time. Now, I'm dying to get her out of that stroller. Do you mind?"

"No," she chuckled. "Just know you've been warned about the raisins. She's covered in them too."

Andy nodded, and he pulled Hannah out, kissing her and pulling her close to him. "Hey there, Pumpkin. "He turned to find Sharon there, her arms crossed, just watching the interaction. He nodded to Hannah, "I've really missed her, both of you. I'm glad you came."

"I am too," she said, slightly breathless. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, let's get you to my car. I've got her seat in, and I hope everything is just as you need it at my house," he said.

"I'm sure we'll be very comfortable, Andy," she smiled up at him. Andy took the suitcase with his free hand, Hannah still secure in his other hand. Sharon put her other bag on the stroller and pushed it alongside him. "It was nice to see my dad. Thank you again for the ticket, the sweet gesture."

"Of course," he nodded. "I just got to thinking and wanted to give you the best of both worlds. Hopefully, your dad is okay with you coming here for the weekend."

"Hmm, well, it's not his decision, but I think he understands. He's glad for Hannah's sake. You and I both know that, and while he's very cautious to be happy about any man in my life, I think he's trying with you. It's very true a relationship can be a whole family affair. Look at what Jack did to my entire family; he burned bridges, and I know my dad is cautious, but just keep trying." Andy nodded as he listened. The two navigated the people outside, and then, Sharon shook her head and sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm here five minutes and already talking about Jack."

"Yeah, I get it, I mean, being constantly compared. I know it's not easy, Sharon," he looked to her, a sympathetic smile on his face. "Let's get back to my house. I made a bit pot of soup and one of my homemade salads. I thought that would be a nice light lunch for us, and then, we can figure out dinner. I'm so looking forward to this trip. I have a lot I want to discuss with you."

"Oh?" she glanced up at him, an inquisitive look on her face.

"Not now, later," he nodded. "It will keep. Let's get you home and showered. I doubt you want raisins in your salad."


	75. Chapter 75

By the next morning, it was feeling like a normal family weekend. Sharon and Andy were busy finishing in the kitchen, and Hannah was eating, yet again, in her high chair. Andy had bought a few things to make his home "Hannah ready," and he was very glad he'd bought the strap on high chair booster for his chairs. The clerk at the store had been the one to suggest it, and he was really glad to have it now. It didn't take up a lot of space, but Hannah was using it just fine. He looked to Sharon, who was filling Hannah's sippy cup with water and smiled at her.

"I enjoy being around you both. It feels so normal," he gave a slight shrug.

"I have to admit that it's a bit odd being back here in L.A. right now, almost surreal," she told him.

"Good or bad?" Andy asked.

She pursed her lips and kept her eyes on him as she walked over to give Hannah her cup. Andy had bought two of them after talking to Sharon and getting the specific brand Hannah enjoyed. She paused and then said, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it's stressful being here. It's not you," she walked back to him and put her arm on his, her eyes searching his and slightly shrugged, "just a lot of memories here, some good and some bad. I left the area for a reason, and being back, I have this odd stress like I should be going to work or something. Maybe the best way to describe it is toxic."

Andy frowned slightly, but he nodded, "I think I understand. That's almost exactly how I would describe situations I have to be around my ex-wife. Toxic," he nodded.

"I don't want you to think I'm not glad to be here," she told him.

He reached for her hand and squeezed it, "I know. I'm glad you are here, and while our pumpkin there is enjoying her snack, I have a couple things I want to discuss. We didn't get a lot of talking done last night."

"Oh," she tried to hide her smile, but she moved her free hand to his chest and ran it up that, "I had a great time last night."

"As did I," he leaned in and pecked her lips. "Though, if we are going to give this a go, a real go, you and I both know that we can't just spend our small amounts of time together jumping into bed. Don't get me wrong," he paused and looked into her eyes, "that part, we're great, but I know in my own life, my marriage party failed because I didn't talk through things."

"Marriage?" Sharon gestured with her hand and almost stuttered over the word. She tried to step back, but he held her hand tightly.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Sharon, you're white as a ghost," he said, his thumb running over her hand. "I'm just pointing out in my own life I need to work on communication. I never seem to have a problem with the physical attraction, but," he smiled brightly at her, "I've never had the connection I have with you, felt the way I do with you. I just want this to work, for us, for Hannah."

"What did you want to discuss?" Sharon asked. Andy nodded to the table and gestured for the two of them to go and sit across from Hannah. She stopped eating when they walked to the table and watched them.

"Mama," she said, her teeth smiling.

"My beautiful girl," Sharon smiled back at Hannah. She and Andy sat in chairs next to each other, and he turned toward her and pulled her hands into his. She looked at Andy, still a look of slight terror on her face, and she cleared her throat, "What did you want to discuss?"

"I wanted to talk to you about a few things, hopefully without you thinking I'm jumping into the future," he frowned slightly.

"Andy," she shook her head and sighed, "I don't know if I will ever be what you want."

"Hey," he tugged lightly on their hands, "I am not asking anything. We're still just adjusting to being around each other on a, well, not even a regular basis." She nodded, and he tried to meet her gaze. She looked up, and he winked at her. "I was hoping to discuss an event with you."

"An event?" Sharon looked, now puzzled. Hannah made a loud shrill sound, and both looked at her. She just grinned at them and put another cracker in her mouth. Sharon and Andy chuckled, and he looked back at her.

"I would like you to go with me to the Holiday Police Gala," he said. "I have to go this year; Chief is making the whole team go. Strike that," he held up a free finger, "Pope told Chief we all have to go. It's the weekend after Thanksgiving weekend, and I would really like you to go with me."

Sharon's face clearly showed she was surprised at this request. She pulled back and sat back in her chair, not sure what to say. Finally, she spoke, "Andy," she shook her head and pursed her lips, "I don't think this would be a good idea. I left the LAPD. I would know everyone there, and let's face it-this would not go well for you. Everyone would talk, everyone. It couldn't be good for your career. One thing would turn into another, and it would all come out. I left the LAPD knowing people talked about me, but I could handle it. It was mostly work talk, and even what was still circulating about Jack, it was what it was. This will be a mess. I use don't think it's a good idea at all. You said work is going well for you. I think you need to focus on that. Your life doesn't need to have more complications."

"I don't care about any of that anymore," he said quickly, gesturing to Hannah. "You and Hannah are part of my life, and I'm tired of hiding it. Yeah, it's been a mess," he sighed and ran his hand over his face. "It was a mess when we started all of this. The sneaking around, that was just, just," he shook his head. "That was on a need to know basis, and others didn't need to know. Hannah being born, I hated hiding that. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see her at your old condo, hold her, and then, pretend like it was nothing? I had to pretend like I wasn't responsible for her. I never, ever want to do that again. It was like denying my kid, and that's not what I want to do. All of this," he nodded around the room, "I'm so glad you are here right now. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know we need to come clean. Your kids know, and the elephant in the room is now on my end. I should have told them sooner. I should have told them what a dirt bag of a dad I am. My kids already know; this will be further confirmation, but it needs to happen. The gala is one thing I wanted to discuss, and my kids are the other. Nic and Nate need to know. I wanted to talk to you about how best to tackle all of this. Work, I'm tired of denying I have a life, a family of sorts, outside the office. I don't care what people say. Let them say it. We've both probably had worse things said about us over the years. The department can talk. They can wonder, but at the end of it, I still have you. I have Hannah. Sharon, you're a beautiful person, inside and out, and I regret I didn't see that earlier. I am so glad the two of us got together, even as odd as it was to start. I want the team to see that. I want my kids to see that, so this weekend, I want to talk about moving forward with my end. I want to shout from the rooftops about how in love with you I am, how much I love my daughter. I know I messed up with those stupid papers, and we need to discuss how to handle that part of the conversation with my kids. That's what I want from your visit. I want more, Sharon. I want everything out in the open," Andy spoke quickly and finally paused, searching her eyes for an answer.

Sharon groaned, "Andy, this is why I didn't want things to get messy. Here we are. We're going down a path that I see ends in a slippery slope. I don't want to move back to Los Angeles. I don't want to leave my new job. I don't want to be the talk of the LAPD again."

He sat back, almost surprised, "Wait, why would all that happen? I never said anything about moving or jobs, or really, anything like that!"

"It's where this is headed. You and I are both in denial if you aren't thinking that. You see us as a cozy, happy family here in your home, and I just can't do that here," she frowned.

"You're getting way ahead of yourself," Andy shook his head. "I want you, and I want Hannah. I am thinking about the here and now, one day at a time."

"Exactly, and that could be the problem. I'm thinking of the future. I can't make huge changes again. I'm happy there. I'm happy with you in my life, with you part of Hannah's life, and I don't want to make any changes," she told him.

"I think you are really jumping, Sharon. I want to tell my kids. I should have a long time ago. That's going to be a difficult conversation, and I'd like you by my side. You don't deserve to be hidden. That has been my mistake, and it looks like I'm ashamed. I'm not. I love you. I love Hannah, and people need to see what I've done. I've found a wonderful woman and created a baby with her," he smiled softly caressing her hand. "The details," he shrugged, "people like work don't need to know that."

"They will!" Sharon said, now extremely agitated. "I was pregnant here. Everyone thinks Hannah belongs to Jack. This will be a scandal I don't want. I left before I could be the talk of the town more than I already was."

"Look," he sighed, "can you think about this, please? Can we table this and talk about it another time this weekend?

Sharon just gave him a small smile and looked quickly at Hannah. He heard her let out a low sigh, "Yes, I really want to have a great time here. I've been looking forward to it," she said and looked to him. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, and I want to spend even more time with you. I don't want to go to a Christmas gala without you by my side. We can figure out someone to watch Hannah. I want to be able to mention you in conversation with my kids. At least think about that, that my kids need to know," he told her.

She nodded again, and she was about to speak when Andy's phone rang. He stood to get it from the counter, and as he walked by Hannah, she put her arms in the air, something Sharon said she'd started doing when she wanted out of her chair. He ruffled his hand on her head and motioned for Sharon to sit. Andy answered his phone and walked back to get Hannah from her chair.

"Provenza what gives? I told you I was busy all weekend," he said, unbuckling Hannah and picking her up. "Yeah," he nodded. "Around? Yeah, should be. We have no set plans," he said and turned to Sharon who was sitting forward, her elbows resting on the table. "Fine," he said and rolled his eyes at Sharon before he hung up. Andy turned and kissed Hannah when he finished.

"I found that to be a very odd conversation," Sharon pointed at him and started to chuckle, trying to move beyond the conversation they'd been having.

"That was Provenza," he said and waved the phone. "He wants to stop by because he has something for Hannah. I know he can be a lot, especially with you, but he means well, and he adores Hannah."

Sharon nodded, "When is he coming over here?"

"Hour or so," Andy shrugged. "Look, do you want to take Hannah on a walk? Let's get outside, do something normal and fun. I'd love to walk around here with you and just talk, about anything."

"That sounds good," she said as she stood. "I'll get her things."

A few minutes later, the two were in the driveway putting Hannah in her stroller. Sharon gestured to Andy, "Would you like to push her?"

"I'd love to push her," he smiled. "May I hold your hand too? We haven't just done something this normal."

Sharon gave him a soft smile and put her hand in his. He used one hand to push the stroller, and the two started their walk.

"Andy, I am not trying to end this," she said, gesturing between them. "I'm just not sure how moving forward we do this. Telling your kids is another huge step."

"I realize that, but like your kids, they need to know. I realize yours found out maybe before you would have wanted, not in the best way possible, but they are Hannah's brother and sister, just as Nic and Nate are too. I messed up my family the first time around, and I don't want to keep doing it. I'll get grief enough about hiding all of this, so I want to start making it right."

"I just," she shook her head, "I guess telling them opens up questions. I don't have answers. I get questions from my kids, and I tell them over and over I don't really know what the future holds."

"Neither do I, Sharon," he said, squeezing her hand slightly. He glanced at her, "I'd say when we started things almost two years ago, we'd never have put ourselves here, yet, we're working it out. Let's just keep taking one thing at a time. I'd like to tell my kids, and I'd like them to meet you, officially. I know you ran into them at the restaurant before Hannah was born, but that's not enough. You're Hannah's mom, and my kids need to get to know you, to see I've changed, to see I'm crazy about you, and to see what an amazing person you are."

"Look, you aren't the only one who has things to discuss," Sharon said, slightly turning to him. "I wanted to talk to you about the holidays."

"I have to work Christmas," he frowned.

She nodded, "You mentioned that might be the case. I spoke to my dad, and well," she bit her lip, "I would like you to come to Phoenix."

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm a little confused. You're kinda freaking out about this with us, about me telling even my own family, but you want to invite me for Thanksgiving?"

"I told you it's not you," she shook her head. "I miss you when you aren't around. I will be in Phoenix, and I promise my dad will be on his best behavior. Besides," she said with a lowered voice, "he isn't admitting it yet, but he does like you."

Andy raised his eyebrow again, "You don't need to butter me up about your dad. He's a good man and has reason to not trust me. I mean, I knocked up his daughter," he stopped the stroller and gestured. "I hid from him."

She put her free hand on his hand, gesturing, "Andy, I know this morning has been stressful. We're good at many things," she blushed slightly, "but are still working out communication. We are talking though, even if I often don't want to hear it," she gave a slight roll of her eyes. "My dad does like you, even if he's cautious. I'm sure you would be with Nicole or Hannah as he is with me. Still, I am an adult and make my own decisions. I spoke to him about you coming to Thanksgiving to make sure he wasn't terribly upset. He wasn't at all, and I think, honestly, he was glad to hear I wanted you there. It's the first Thanksgiving without my mom. I'm going to be cooking everything, and I'd love your help. It's something we can do together, our first major holiday as a couple. My kids will be there, and yes," she paused to roll her eyes again, "as I'm saying it, it just hit me that I'm being unreasonable about meeting your kids."

Andy let her finish, and he just smiled at her. They looked rather odd, standing there on the sidewalk with Hannah in her stroller, standing there, just talking to each other. He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her toward him, and his hand rested on her elbows. He didn't end the kiss quickly; he lingered. She lingered, both almost hungry for the closeness. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers, "Thank you for, for all of it. We can talk more about telling my kids. I want this to be something we do together. I'd come to Phoenix for Thanksgiving even if I had to stay in my car and eat fast food just to see you for five minutes," he said sweetly, running his hand over her hair. "I mean, I hope that's not the case, is it?"

Sharon chuckled and shook her head, "No, I'm making my own decisions, and I'd like you to stay at the house with the rest of my family."

"I'll be there," he said quietly, kissing her quickly again.

"When we get back to the house, we can discuss your kids," she said with a half-smile, half questioning look. He nodded and reached for her hand to squeeze it again.

"Let's enjoy our walk, shall we?" Andy nodded ahead. They started walking, and he threw a smirk at her, "Of course, we'll have to deal with Provenza first, you know, when we get back to the house."


	76. Chapter 76

Andy just sat there and shook his head, watching his best friend holding his daughter. The guy was really a teddy bear, and in fact, he'd even brought one for Hannah. That, along with the bag of toys he had for her, told Andy Provenza really cared about kids.

"Provenza, she can walk, you know," Andy chuckled watching Provenza holding her on his lap.

"She seems perfectly content sitting here with me," Provenza gestured to her. "Besides, she likes this bear I brought her," he nodded to the stuffed animal Hannah was holding by the ear.

"Did you rob a toy store?" Andy chuckled. "What all did you bring her?"

"Just a few things," Provenza gestured to the bag. "I had to make sure you'd at least covered the basics, Flynn," he said, using his free hand to dig in the bag. He pulled out two boxes, one containing a police car and one containing a fire truck. "I don't want to hear anything about girl toys and boy toys. The clerk at the store tried to steer me to everything pink," he spit out the word like it was a bad word. "I told her I was shopping for a little girl and needed some police vehicles. She thought I sounded crazy, and I even thought that myself as I explained that both of the toddler's parents were police officers. I can't believe neither of you idiots have gotten her a police car yet."

Andy rolled his eyes, "She's one, Provenza. I guess that didn't hit me as the toy of the year or whatever," he gestured. "Thanks, though," he said. Provenza had asked him if Hannah had a police car when Andy answered the door, something Andy raised his eyebrows to as he let Provenza into the house. Sharon had gone out to the store to get some groceries because the two had discussed having Andy's kids over for dinner. After some calls and juggling of schedules, the kids had reluctantly agreed. Their quiet day was now looking very different, first with this visit from Provenza and then with the kids coming to dinner. "I appreciate you recognizing my kid and, you know," he shrugged, "wanting to be part of her life."

"Yes, well, while you tried to write her off," he eyed him, while making faces at Hannah, "and I know I told you to do what you wanted, I had a feeling you wouldn't be able to walk too far from your kid. She is cute, even if she's the captain's kid."

Andy grinned, "She's as hot as they get, Provenza. It should be a surprise Hannah is as gorgeous as her mom."

"Stop right there," Provenza held up his hand and shook his head. Hannah started to squirm, so he put her down to walk along the side of the coffee table. "I really don't want to hear about the captain and how you two go at it like rabbits. Hannah is bad enough of a visual of what you two do with each other," he grimaced. "I don't need to think of the captain like that. It's bad enough I have to talk to her like a human."

"She'll be back soon," Andy nodded. "She had to run out to the store, which reminds me of a few things she and I discussed. The kids are coming to dinner tonight. We're going to tell them everything, about Sharon, about Hannah," he nodded. "In fact, if you want to stay, it would help. You could be a buffer of sorts."

"No, no way," Provenza shook his head and pulled the police car out of the package for Hannah. "I'm not getting into your family drama, Flynn. It takes a lot for me to turn down a free meal, but it's not happening. I have enough of my own family drama. I don't need yours."

"Fine, fine," Andy waved. "Invitation is open. I'm ready to tell the kids, but I'm nervous at the same time."

"Well, it's no wonder," Provenza chuckled, rubbing his hand over Hannah's head. "Flynn, you have a huge secret here. You've hidden a kid, their half sibling. You've hidden the fact you were sleeping around with another cop, got her pregnant, signed away your rights to your kid, and now, you're trying to put things back together. The kids will rightfully be shocked."

"I know, but it's also time to just live up to my mistakes. I don't want Hannah growing up thinking I'm ashamed of her or have to hide her. Sharon," he paused and smiled slightly, "I really care about her Provenza. I want a life with her, with Hannah," he nodded. "The kids need to know, no matter how badly it goes. I've messed up again, and I just need to come clean."

"Fair enough," Provenza told him. "You know, Flynn, even if I don't like the woman, I'm still here, still your friend."

"Thanks," Andy nodded as he met his gaze. "Through all of it, we stick together."

Hannah started smacking her hand on the police car, and the guys chuckled. She looked at them, smiling and continued to walk around the coffee table, holding to it lightly.

"While we are on the subject of coming clean, I invited Sharon to the ball," Andy admitted.

Provenza raised his eyebrows, "Are you out of your mind?"

"No, I'm dead serious about coming clean. Look, I hated seeing Sharon around the building when she was pregnant, knowing she was carrying my kid. I put that kid there, and no one knew it. No one knew we had been sleeping together, and at the time, that seemed right. It goes back to feeling ashamed of what has gone on. I love Hannah, and quite frankly, I love Sharon," he sighed as he admitted it. "I don't care what kind of crap I get from the LAPD. I want her on my arm. I want her by my side. I honestly just want to tell the world I have an amazing woman and amazing daughter. It's time. Chief, the rest of the team," he raised his shoulder in a shrug, "they know me. I do my job well. My personal life is my personal life even if it now involves a retired FID captain. Sure, I'll hear comments, but I'm over it. I have a family, a bigger family than I did before. I want everyone to know I'm happy with a kid and have Sharon around too."

"Look, I know you have to tell your kids, but the team?" Provenza questioned. "Flynn think about that. The captain doesn't even live here. You two can barely work out a visitation schedule. You really don't need to include the team, the LAPD."

"Yes, I do," Andy nodded. "I don't know what the future holds, but I want Sharon in it for good. I want to be in Hannah's life. I don't know how that will work out, but I want it. She doesn't want to come to the ball. I'm hoping she will change her mind. I don't want anyone else by my side. I want my gorgeous girlfriend."

"Stop," Provenza said, handing Hannah the firetruck now that he had it out of the box. "I told you to keep your personal opinions about the captain to yourself."

"You have to admit Hannah is gorgeous," Andy winked at him.

"Yes, and sadly, I know none of her looks are from you," Provenza grimaced.

The two looked up as the door opened, and Andy quickly jumped up to help Sharon with the grocery bags.

"Mama," Hannah smiled and pointed to Sharon. Provenza looked at Hannah. She'd been babbling some while he'd been there, but that had been the first she'd said anything understandable.

"Hannah," he said to her as if she understood. He leaned in toward her, "I can teach you some other names we call your mom."

Andy chuckled slightly and took some of the bags from Sharon while she turned toward him, "Always a pleasure, Lieutenant. The road runs both ways. I can certainly teach her some of the things I've called you over the years," she smirked.

Provenza's eyes shot up, and Andy started to laugh as he walked to the kitchen with the bags. Sharon walked to Hannah and bent down to kiss her head. "Hi there Baby," she said to the toddler while Hannah watched her.

Provenza gestured toward Andy, "Flynn, your kid is saying 'Mama' before she's saying 'Dada' now? What's going on with that?"

Andy froze and glanced at Sharon who was next to him, emptying some of the bags. That had always been a touchy topic, one he'd never addressed with Sharon. She'd always spoken of Andy around Hannah by his name. Hannah, partly because she only saw Andy on occasion, hadn't attempted to call him anything. "Oh, well," he started to say and then gestured, "I mean, we haven't discussed what she calls me."

Sharon put her hand on his arm to get him to look toward her. She briefly met his gaze and then looked to Provenza, "Lieutenant, I suppose you bring up the elephant in the room, something I avoided for a long time. You're right, though," she took a deep breath and nodded, "Andy is her dad," she paused and smiled toward Andy, "and it's high time I start addressing him as that around her."

"Really?" Andy said in an excited, yet surprised voice. He grinned and looked at Sharon, meeting her gaze. "I haven't wanted to push."

Her eyes searched his, and she offered a playful shrug, both almost lost in each other, almost unaware Provenza was a few feet away. "I should have done this a long time ago," she said softly, running her hand up his arm. Her eyes were warm, filled with passion. "Andy, you are her dad, and I've told you that no matter what the paperwork says, we're working on this together."

"Is there anything you two can discuss anymore without looking like you want to sneak off to the bedroom?" Provenza groaned. "I had no idea a simple question would have you two giving looks like that. Those looks," he gestured to Hannah, "are what got you into this."

Sharon and Andy held each other's gaze, and he smiled at her, ignoring Provenza's comments. He clasped his hand with hers, intertwining their fingers, "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. I've wanted to hear her call me 'Dad' or 'Dada' for a very long time. I love hearing her sweet voice call out for you and have longed to hear her say that about me."

Sharon simply nodded, her eyes staring at his, "We'll work on that, her next word," she smiled warmly. "I know it's long overdue."

Hannah started smacking on the police car again, and that broke the mood from the moment. They both turned to see Provenza picking up Hannah to put on his lap again. Andy squeezed Sharon's shoulder as he stepped back into the living room to continue his visit with Provenza. Sharon winked at him as he walked by, almost talking without saying anything. He gave her an odd look, trying to read her mind, and she just gave him a quick shake of the head to trust her.

"You two go ahead and visit. I'm going to finish unpacking these groceries."

"So, Captain," Provenza said, playing with Hannah, "Flynn tells me tonight is the night." He took a sip of his coffee, reaching for the cup, while he kept it away from Hannah. Sharon looked to him, and he continued, "Flynn said you're going to meet and tell the kids."

"Well, yes," Sharon gestured. "I met them once, in a restaurant, just randomly, but that was when I was pregnant with Hannah. Yes, we are going to speak to his kids tonight. I just don't want to ruin any relationship Andy still has with his kids, but he wants to tell them now."

Provenza raised his eyes at Andy, "So, they've met the captain and saw her pregnant with their half-sister, but they didn't know it then?"

"Yeah, but as you know, it was complicated then," he sighed. "I didn't get into any of it with them, just told them we worked together."

"Still seems complicated," Provenza said quietly. "I mean, you two are," he raised his hands in gesture, "whatever you two are doing. I know you are trying to uncomplicate things, but still."

"I realize keeping this from his kids is not helping," Sharon said. "Andy had to convince me, but yes, I see it now. I'm not so sure about everyone else knowing in town. He wants to tell your team."

"He told me," Provenza nodded to her. "I don't think that's a good idea either."

"I'm tired of living a lie!" Andy said, almost exasperated. "I want everyone to just know what is going on in my life, no matter how bad it looks to others. I am happy, have three kids, and I just want that to be out there."

He looked at Sharon as he said that, and she gave him a small smile. She gave a slight nod of her head too, "As long as we are putting it out there, then, I know he's your best friend," Sharon said. She held up one of the smaller bags, "I suppose you want to just tell him then that I'm going to take another pregnancy test right now to just confirm the first one earlier today."

Provenza spit out his coffee that he was sipping and almost let Hannah slide off her lap. His face turned red, and he put his cup down and started to gesture at Andy, "She's pregnant again? How is that possible? I'm asking that in more ways than one. You two are such idiots. The first time," he looked to Hannah, "you two couldn't stop messing around enough. Haven't you figured out how this happens? You're too old for this, and now, you're having another kid?"

Andy glanced at Sharon, who had crossed her arms in the kitchen. They both let Provenza complain, and when he was really worked up, Andy finally raised his hand to have him stop talking.

"Are you done yet?" he asked with a flat expression. He couldn't hold it, watching Provenza's shocked expression. Finally, he burst out laughing, and when he did, Sharon did too, as she walked to them, bag in hand.

"Well played, Sharon," he chuckled and shook his head. She walked to his side and put her arm around his shoulder, a cheeky grin on her face. She opened the bag to show it to Provenza, only a few toddler snacks visible inside. "You told me you wanted to mess with Provenza. That was perfect."

"Lieutenant," she grinned, "it's not often I can render you speechless, but I believe I have succeeded. No," she started to laugh, "I'm not pregnant and won't be anymore. That, I can promise."

He pointed between them, "You two are sick. Sick people," he grumbled. "The thought of you two," he grimaced, "another innocent child by you two," he grimaced again, while the two of them started to laugh.

"See, Provenza, Sharon has a great sense of humor," he chuckled. "Well, done, Babe. He's still white as a ghost."

"Hmm," she hummed and nodded, "that's just a little payback from all the stupid things you did when I was in FID. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to tell you that you'd done something really stupid. I enjoyed seeing your face turn white as you processed that. What's wrong, Lieutenant? I know you love that precious little girl there. You don't want to love another one, half Andy, half me?" Sharon tilted her head at him, and she then winked at him. He made a face and looked to Andy.

"I still can't believe of all the women in the world, you had to pick this one," he grumbled. "Cute kid or not, really, Flynn?"

"I say the same thing about you as my friend," he flashed a grin. "Don't worry, though," he winked again, "there won't be a little Andy running around here, promise, and that's not for lack of trying," he winked again.

"Andy," Sharon swatted at him and sighed. "You need to stop now."

Andy glanced at her and shrugged, "What? We're old. He knows that. It's not a secret."

"As much fun as it is to mess with him, let's keep comments like, 'Not for lack of trying,' to ourselves. Provenza is one thing," she nodded to him. "Your kids are coming later."

"Which reminds me that I need to go before the Flynn home here explodes from the secrets," he said as he patted Hannah's head and stood. "I don't want to be anywhere near here when this all goes down tonight. Flynn, call me," he nodded to him.

"Lieutenant, you don't need to run off. I know you enjoy my daughter," she smiled at him and then at Hannah. "I am aware you are part of a package deal I get when I agreed to make a go of this with Andy."

"I am aware of how things usually go with his kids, when there's not a life-changing secret to be divulged," he nodded. "I'll get going. I do hope things go smoothly for both of you. Flynn, as I said, call me if you need to talk later. Captain, kid is cute, really sweet," he gave her an almost smile. "I never would have pegged you for the motherly type, as I never saw it, but obviously, she was put into your life, your lives, really," he nodded to Andy, "for a reason."

Andy stood and picked up Hannah, holding her in one arm as he walked with Provenza toward the door, "Hey, thanks for stopping by and for bringing the gifts for Hannah. It means a lot, Provenza, that you accept my family, my expanding family," he chuckled again and winked.

"That was a terrible joke," he grumbled, looking beyond him toward the kitchen. "Ahh, Captain, I suppose I'll see you at this police ball thing," he gestured.

Sharon walked toward them again, as she'd walked back into the kitchen to get Hannah's cup. She walked up to them, cup in hand for Hannah and frowned, "I'm not sure about that, Lieutenant. It's under discussion still. I don't think that's a good idea, certainly not good for Andy's career. I also don't want to be the talk of the LAPD, even after I've retired."

Andy put his arm around Sharon's waist as she walked up next to him, and Provenza nodded to them, "Someone for everyone," he sighed. "I keep telling myself that. You two," he nodded to them, "hope the kids take the news okay. Captain, I've never seen Flynn grin like he does when you are around him. I dare to say you're good for him, even after all this, but you are."

"I never would have imagined I'd say it, but Andy is good for me, Lieutenant," she nodded and smiled up at Andy.

Provenza looked to Hannah in Andy's arms, "Hannah, you be good for your mom there and your dad. Dada," he nodded to her. "I can tell you, Kid, that I can't think of a man who will love you more than this guy, so least you can do is work on a name for him," he nodded to Sharon. "Captain, safe travels home. I'm sure I'll see you next time you are in town."

They watched Provenza leave the house, and Andy pulled Sharon tighter into his side as he chuckled onto the top of her head. He started to chuckle, "Oh, that pregnancy bit was great, Sharon. I've never seen Provenza turn that white. You managed to embarrass and disgust him at the same time."

"It just came to me," she chuckled too, looking up at him. She leaned up and kissed him quickly. "I'm still not sure how I feel about tonight. I know we need to talk to your kids, but the whole time I was gone, I was a nervous wreck, trying to play it in my head. For that reason, I still just can't see telling the entire LAPD."

She pulled back from Andy, and he sighed, "What's done is done. I'm accepting that. They will probably hate me; they already do. As we talked on our walk and decided on dinner tonight, I'm just glad I convinced them to come. I know Nic wanted to go out with her friends, but she does that all the time. I can't think of a night they've come here for dinner. It's been a long time. I know it's going to be a tough night, but I promise that in no way, do I want to hide you or make you feel like you aren't important in my life. They need to see that. What's done is done," he repeated.

"Uice," Hannah tried to say, asking for her cup. Sharon handed it to her, and she gestured to the kitchen.

"We need to get dinner ready. Are you sure they are okay with baked chicken?" she asked.

"I mean, they will be surprised we are having a meal, a homecooked meal together, so yeah, baked chicken is great. You don't have to do that, though. I told you I could do dinner," he said.

"I want to make dinner," she shrugged her shoulder. "You've put up with so much with my dad and kids. I want to put forth effort with your kids."

"Let's get going with dinner. Kiddo here can enjoy a snack while we cook together," he said to her. "Have I told you how glad I am you are here?"

Sharon clasped his hand in hers and leaned up to him for another kiss, "I know that I've told you I don't enjoy being back in Los Angeles, which is true, but I'm glad to be here with you. Maybe tonight, after all of the drama has unfolded, after everyone is gone, after Hannah is in bed, I can show you how glad I am to be here."

He grinned, "I can't wait. I can almost guarantee the next few hours are going to be rough but knowing we can be alone at the end of the night," he sighed as his mind started to wander, and then he nodded, "the headache of the night is well worth it to get to alone time with you. By then, this will all be out in the open with both our families."


	77. Chapter 77

It was like a bomb had gone off in more ways than one. Everything was happening at once. None of it was good, and he didn't know what to do to fix things. Sharon was at the stove, trying to finish dinner without burning it when Hannah had a massive diaper blowout. Andy had been finishing the salad with Hannah right there, sitting on the kitchen floor as she crawled around and walked, holding onto the cupboards when both Andy and Sharon got a whiff of her. They looked at each other, the stench as strong as they could imagine. Andy pointed to Hannah, just at his feet, who had a teething toy at her mouth and was looking up at him with her wide eyes.

"Hannah?" he asked, making a horrified face. "What did she eat for lunch?"

Sharon nodded, a look on her face as well and said, "Nothing out of the ordinary. Oh, that smell is awful," she briefly covered her nose with the back of her hand.

"I'll change her," Andy said, wiping off his hands from the salad. He reached down to get Hannah, and that's when he noticed it had trailed out her diaper and was everywhere, up her back, down her legs, all over her. "Oh, Sharon, it's everywhere! I've never understood how a diaper blowout goes all over the place, up, out, almost defies gravity," he said. "Hannah, kiddo, what a mess."

Sharon looked down as he, now with Hannah in his outstretched arms, had her and had a horrified look on his face. Her eyes widened, "Andy, that's a full bath, a complete change."

He nodded, "Great timing," he sighed. "I'll get her a bath while you work on dinner. Kids aren't due for another 20 minutes, so I should be able to clean up this mess."

"Toss those clothes of hers right into the washing machine," Sharon called to him. "I'll clean up the floor in here," she said, glancing to the mess where Hannah's diaper had leaked everywhere.

Andy moved quickly to get Hannah to the bathroom before more of a problem was created. He put her right into the tub and started the water, carefully trying to strip off her soiled clothing. He sighed, noting he'd need to change his own shirt too. She'd gotten some on him, even though he'd rolled up his sleeves to work on the salad prep. Andy adjusted the water and put the clothing all by the trash can while he wiped her down before putting her into the bathtub. It was the closest thing he could reach without causing more of a mess. He'd get the clothing to the laundry room later.

"How is it coming?" Sharon asked from the doorway, almost startling Andy. He glanced up and rolled his eyes. Hannah seemed to be content, but the smell seemed to be only getting worse.

"She's covered in it. It's even in her hair," he nodded to her. "I wiped her down already, and oh, her clothing," he gestured to where he'd put it by the trash can.

She nodded, "I'll put it in the laundry room to take care of after dinner. I have to get back and check on dinner, but yell if you need anything. Whatever she ate," she grimaced and shook her head.

"I know," Andy made the same face. "The smell is awful." Sharon collected Hannah's clothing and disappeared down the hall to the laundry room where they could soak the outfit before washing it. Andy called to her, "I'll get that diaper outside to the trash as soon as I'm done here." He looked back at Hannah who was grinning at him, showing off her tiny teeth. He couldn't help but smile at her, even with as nasty as she smelled right now. Andy started to bathe her, and Sharon returned to the kitchen. It wasn't even a minute later when he heard the doorbell.

Andy glanced at Hannah, like that would help with the doorbell ringing. He knew it had to be the kids, early, and while that was normally not a problem or something he even cared about with his own children, it was the worst timing right now. He called down to Sharon, "Sharon, I'm trying to get Hannah out of the tub," he yelled, sighing to himself at the timing. He still wanted to change his shirt. Hannah needed to be dried off, needed a new diaper, and she needed a change of clothing. Sharon, he knew, was working at the stove, where it was possible to burn dinner if she left it unattended. As he'd tried to set the scene in his head earlier, he had envisioned answering his own door, and now, it just wasn't going to fit into the cards. "Sharon, could you get the door? I'm so sorry."

He groaned, visualizing the scene, his kids there with Sharon, and he quickly realized it was better than having Ricky and Bob walk in on them half-dressed and no mystery as to what they'd been doing. Andy quickly finished with Hannah and reached for her towel, letting the water out, and scooping her up. Hannah started to cry. She loved her time in the bath, and he tried to soothe her as he wrapped her in the towel.

Hannah's cry intensified to an all-out scream, and she started kicking to get out of Andy's grasp. He was trying to soothe her, unable to hear anything from the front door. Before he could step out of the small bathroom, Sharon was there, and he could see the kids in tow. Everything was happening and NOW.

"Dad?" Nicole asked, eyeing him with a wet Hannah in his arms, wrapped in a towel. He caught Sharon's gaze, and she closed her eyes and slightly shook her head at him, trying to convey she was sorry too. Nate was behind Nicole, an irritated expression on his face.

"We thought we had the wrong house, like you'd moved," Nate explained. "We weren't expecting anyone else here for dinner, let alone some kid too," he nodded to Hannah.

"Dad, what's going on?" Nicole asked, clearly surprised. She looked to Sharon, "You look familiar, very familiar."

"Kids," Andy held up one hand, while still trying to calm Hannah.

"I'll take her," Sharon offered, extending her arms for Hannah. "I'll finish with her."

"Mama, no," Hannah said, wanting to go back to the tub. Everything was happening so quickly. Andy handed off Hannah, and before he made more of a mess, he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Kids, I know this is a mess. Hold on," he said. "I need to change my shirt. This is Sharon," he said to her, "and Hannah."

"Wait!" Nicole snapped her finger. "We met you before, right? You were like really pregnant, oh," she nodded, "with her. You're a cop, work with dad, right?"

"Kids let me grab a shirt, and we can talk in the living room," he gestured down the hall. "Please."

Nate looked between Andy and Sharon, trying to pick up on the cues the two were trying to give each other. Sharon gave a small smile and nod to Nicole, "You have a good memory. If you excuse me, I'm going to change her. She had a diaper incident."

"Mama, no," Hannah yelled and tried to kick at Sharon. She moved down the hall to the guest bedroom where Hannah had been staying. Andy stepped out of the bathroom and gestured to his room.

"I'm going to grab a shirt. Oh, crap, could one of you turn off the stove? Sharon was finishing dinner," he said.

"I'll get it," Nate said, eyeing Andy as he walked toward the kitchen. Nicole stood there, arms crossed, trying to remember everything she'd learned about Sharon the one time she'd seen her in the restaurant.

"Dad, what's going on?" Nicole asked as Andy moved into the bedroom. He noticed Sharon's bag and things over on the floor by her side of the room, and he didn't want Nicole seeing all of that without further explanation, so he grabbed the first hanging shirt he had, one right on the back of the closet door, and he started back toward the door where Nicole was standing in it.

"Nic, please, I know this is a lot. Believe me, I didn't picture things like this," he grunted as he put on his shirt. "Let's go into the living room so we can all talk."

"This dinner was sudden. Is this why? Is she your girlfriend?" Nicole asked as they walked into the living room area. Andy surveyed the room and saw several of Hannah's toys. It was a fact of life; Hannah was one of his kids, and he wasn't going to hide her or any of her things anymore.

Nate rejoined them, his hands in his pockets, "The rice is a little dry. I put some water in it."

"Thanks," he sighed. "Look, yes, that's Sharon. You met her once, dinner, remember? She was still very much pregnant."

"So, are you like dating her?" Nicole asked. "You haven't told us anything."

"I've tried," he said calmly, and as he nodded, his eye caught Sharon walking back into the room, Hannah on her hip. "Look, Sharon's back," he gestured to them. "Let's sit down, okay?"

The kids glanced at each other, and they both moved to the couch, leaving the chair the only other spot to sit. Sharon moved to put Hannah on the floor by her toys, and the kids watched as she did that. Andy nodded for her to sit in the chair, and she discreetly shook her head, trying to indicate he should sit. He did, and she kneeled down on the floor by Hannah and Andy.

"As I said, this is Sharon, Sharon Raydor," Andy reached for her to touch her shoulder. She, instead, reached up and clasped her hand in his, giving him a slight smile. "Yes, as you presumed, she is my girlfriend."

"Okay," Nicole said hesitantly as she glanced at her brother. "Dad, you could have given us a little warning."

"And say what?" Andy asked. "Look, I am really glad you two agreed to come to dinner. I know you had other plans. I didn't want to get into it on the phone, and I figured it was just easier to have you come here and meet Sharon and Hannah."

"So, umm, how long have you two been dating?" Nate asked. "No offense, but Dad, you've never mentioned her."

Andy glanced at Sharon, and she quickly jumped in, "It's complicated. Your dad and I have known each other a long time, through work, yes, and dating, it's been, well, complicated."

"Wait, are you living here? Dad, did you call us over to tell us you are living together?" Nate asked, glancing around the room.

"Dad, you're living with her and a baby?" Nicole's eyes widened, now seeing the toys, gear, and things around the room that were for Hannah. "Mom warned us you probably had some problem to tell us, that or you were drinking again."

"No, I'm not drinking!" Andy exclaimed at the same time Sharon said, "He's not drinking."

Andy and Sharon eyed each other while Hannah moved along the table, walking as she held onto it. Sharon gave him a small smile and nod, and he nodded back before he turned to face the kids again.

"I'm not drinking, and no, Sharon isn't living with me," he said.

"Mama," Hannah patted Sharon's arm. She used her small finger to point at the new people in the room. Sharon kissed her finger and introduced the kids.

"Nicole," she said to Hannah and then pointed to Nate, "Nate."

Hannah just grinned and patted at Sharon again, "Mama." Hannah pointed toward Andy, almost like it was a game to name everyone. Sharon grimaced slightly, knowing Andy's description was difficult. She went for the one she'd been saying to Hannah.

"Andy," she said toward Andy, trying to convey she wanted to say more when she caught Andy's eye. He just gave her a slight shake of his head before he turned back to the kids.

"So, you two are dating," Nate offered. "That's the rush for dinner?"

"Yes and no," Andy said. "I have been wanting to see you both. You are always welcome here. I've told you I want to improve our relationship. I still do. To do that, though, I need to clear the air. I've been seeing Sharon awhile now, yes." He paused to let everyone relax a moment.

"Dad, ahh, this is a surprise. Sharon, you do know his track record, right? I mean, he's not exactly had the best story. Most of the women he's dated, we've never met, even though we knew they were closer to our ages."

"Your dad is a good man, Nicole," Sharon said, putting her hand on Andy's knee. She looked to him, and when she didn't catch his gaze, she looked back at Nicole. "Everyone has a story. We all have things we wish we could change. I know that. We all make mistakes, but the beautiful thing about life is we can always work to be a better person, to change. Your dad has done that. I know he wasn't there for you. I know he's dated other women, but if we constantly hold people to their mistakes of the past, we will never have a healthy future."

"I'm still trying to understand how a simple question of how long you've been dating is complicated. So, you've like worked together, right? When was the first date? Are we talking a week ago, a month ago, what?" Nate asked.

"So, here's the deal, guys," Andy clasped his hands. Hannah had moved closer to Andy in her walk around the table. He looked to her, looking into Hannah's eyes. With his eyes focused on her, he took a deep breath, "Nate, the question is complicated because it involves Hannah too. Guys, Hannah is my daughter too. Sharon and I are Hannah's parents. She's your half-sister, and I wanted you to finally meet her. It's time."

Both Nicole and Nate's expressions turned to shock as they glanced from Andy to Hannah, locking eyes on her as she patted Andy's leg. He pulled her toward his lap, almost surprised she wanted to sit with him. Sharon also moved closer to him, almost as a support system.

"Wait," Nicole shook her head. "You're her dad? You've never told us. We saw you," she looked to Sharon. "You were like really pregnant. Dad," she shook her head, "Dad, you never said anything."

Nate interrupted, "Dad, Mom's been right all this time, that you can't keep it in your pants! Why do you have to continue to be such a slime? She's your kid? You've hidden a kid, a kid dad, from us?"

"It all makes sense!" Emily yelled. "Dad, you were sleeping around. You had an affair with her? Are you kidding me? I remember as a teenager you telling us to do the right thing, and here you are, having a kid with a married woman? Dad, that's disgusting. It's bad enough you have been known to sleep with anyone, and now, you've been careless and made a kid with some woman from work, all while she's married? Dad, Mom has been right all these years. I can't even."

"I'm not married," Sharon said firmly, not wanting to get into too many details. "You are both allowed to have your reactions, but let's not get out of hand here. He and I are capable of making our own decisions as we have done. WE," she emphasized, "are not looking for your critique of the situation or your judgment. Please, please, let your dad explain."

All eyes turned to Andy, who had Hannah there on his lap, "Kids, here's the deal, or the start of it. You need to know Hannah is your half-sister. She's our daughter. It's been really complicated with Sharon, but we are dating, and we have Hannah."

"Why the secrecy?" Nate asked. "Why have you hidden all this? Let's face it, Dad, that she's not an infant. What, is she one or so? You obviously were with Sharon nine months before that. Did you forget to mention it to us? Something still is off here. You knocked her up, didn't you, and you were ashamed to tell us."

"Kids, Sharon and I have had a complicated story. We've worked together, and yeah, we had Hannah. I won't try to convince you Hannah was this grand plan of ours, but we love her more than you could imagine."

"Oh, please, please, tell me that this isn't some story about you starting a new family again. Sharon, please tell me you aren't pregnant again and decided to spring the new family on us, Dad."

"Stop!" Andy exclaimed. Sharon turned to Nicole.

Calmly, she spoke, her lips pursed, "I am not pregnant, and while I'm flattered you would think that fluke could happen easily again, I'm not and will not be. I have two other grown children, just like you two, also a boy and a girl. Hannah was a surprise," she smiled slightly, "a wonderful one who has changed my life in so many ways. Your dad and I have been trying to figure out our lives and how we balance Hannah with that. We've been dating. He's met my kids, and we wanted you two to know everything, out in the open."

"I can't believe you've been hiding this, Dad, a kid you made with some random woman, for almost two years, or longer, even," Nate said. "Mom is right that you can't get your life in order."

"Now, you just listen here," Andy pointed to him. "Your mother can have whatever opinion she wants. She's tried to influence the two of you as long as I can remember. Sharon and I are trying to fix our lives, together. It's hard with her not living here."

"So, you have talked about living together!" Nicole exclaimed.

"No, not like that," Andy sighed. "Sharon lives in Arizona."

"Wait, what?" Nicole snapped her head toward them. "I thought you were a cop, Sharon, right?"

"I'm retired," she gave a small smile. "I retired after I had Hannah, and then, she and I moved to Flagstaff, Arizona, where I teach at the university."

"No, no," Nate waved his hand, "something is still off. So, you two had a kid, but Sharon moved away?"

Andy raised his hand, "Let me explain it all. Yeah, I'm a screw up, but I'm working hard to do better, to be a better man. Sharon and I weren't together when Hannah was born. I'm not going to give you every detail, but you two obviously know relationships are complicated. You know the birds and the bees, so Sharon moved where she needed to go, and yeah, Hannah went with her. Slowly, we've been working on things, building a life together, and now, we wanted to share that with you. Hannah's here to stay, and whatever you think about me, I want you to know your sister."

"Half-sister," Nicole stated. "There's a difference."

"Not to me," Andy said quickly. "I can't make you love your sister or even want to be around her, but she's part of my life, and I hope she will be part of yours. I realize you aren't going to be best friends. She's an entire generation younger than you are."

"Exactly, Dad," Nicole sighed. "She could be my kid."

"But, she's ours," Sharon said firmly. "She's ours," she repeated. "My kids love their sister, and I hope in time, you will too."

"I'm still confused about moving. So, you two broke up? What's going on now? You're back together? That's totally not healthy, breaking up constantly. That's not the drama anyone needs."

"Hannah and I moved for my job," Sharon said. "Your dad and I have been working on things long distance."

"Well, Sharon, I'll just let you in on a little tidbit of information-Dad won't step up for your kid. He never did with us. I hope you're ready to raise a kid alone, and maybe that's why you really moved. You already know that."

"Your dad is not the same, Nicole," Sharon said firmly. "I hope you will see that."

"How is custody going to work?" Nate asked. "I mean, Dad, you work crazy hours, and no offense, but you can't take care of a kid here on a regular basis. Are you going to drag her through a court case for custody? Sharon sounds like you know Dad never really had custody of us. I assume you are prepared for that."

"There are a lot of technicalities," Andy said. "I'm not trying to take Hannah from Sharon. We're trying to see each other, to be a family as much as we can. Look," he sighed and glanced to Sharon, shaking his head. "I'm going to just put it out there. I am ashamed of what I did, but I hope this will help you see I'm serious about changing. Sharon and I had no plans for a longtime anything. Hannah came along. You know how that works, and yeah," he nodded, "I know I have a reputation. I'm changing. I've been changing. I'm not the playboy. I'm not trying to date random women. I'm dating Sharon. Sharon had a rotten husband and already raised two kids alone. She asked me to walk away from Hannah. I did," he said, and the room grew quiet.

The kids glanced at each other and then to Sharon. She bit her lip, looking at Andy, surprised almost he'd admitted to that. She cleared her throat, "In the beginning, our ideas about what was best for Hannah were not the ideas we have now. I thought, and Andy agreed, even if maybe begrudgingly, that it was best for me to start over, to wipe the slate clean, with Hannah. I walked away with Hannah, and your dad agreed to that. I left here, choosing to retire. No one my age needs to try and keep the awful hours I had with a small baby. I retired. I've done the cop life with two kids alone, and I didn't want it again. I started working at a college, one out of state. Hannah and I moved. Turns out," she reached over and put her hand on Andy's, "life doesn't go how you plan. Love is strong, and to be honest," she gave a small smile, "your dad doesn't give up. You should know that. I know he's wanted a life with you two for a long time. He didn't give up on me; it just took me a long time to see that. So, Nate," she turned to him, "dating is a very complicated question. We are dating, yes, but to put a time stamp on it," she nodded, "for us, is impossible."

"Dad, you've been living this secret life for two years," Nicole said quietly. "I don't know what to say. I feel like you want us in your life, but then, you hide your life from us."

"I've made plenty of mistakes, yeah," he nodded. "I should have done a better job with you kids. I thought walking away from Sharon and Hannah was for the best, but I quickly realized it wasn't. I want all of you in my life, and I'll keep fighting for that."

"You walked away, then?" Nate nodded. "Come on, Dad. You know that's your tendency. What makes me believe you'll change this time?"

"I'm in love with Sharon," Andy stated quickly. He looked to her, and then, he looked back to the kids. "I realize that doesn't help you. You'll argue I was in love with your mom, and yeah," he sighed. "I should be able to say that. I don't think I ever was, ever truly knew what that was, but I did love her, yeah. I have grown a lot. I've matured, and I have a love for Sharon I cannot explain. I'm owning up to all my mistakes. I walked away; I was asked to deny my kid, and I tried. I can't. I won't, and I hope you two will be able to forgive me and accept your sister."

"What do you mean you denied her?" Nicole asked.

"Your dad and I agreed, legally," Sharon explained after she looked to Andy, and he nodded for her to do so, "we agreed legally, I would have Hannah."

"I signed away my rights, biggest mistake of my life," Andy said. "Walking out on you two was the second biggest mistake, and the only reason it isn't the first, is that you still know I'm your dad. You can say I'm a crappy one, but I'm still your dad. I've never denied that. I denied it with Hannah. Work knows nothing about her, about Sharon. Until today, you didn't either. Hannah isn't technically mine, even though she is. I agreed to that, for Sharon. Sharon didn't want another deadbeat dad, and as you know, my reputation has preceded me."

"Your dad is not that, not anymore," Sharon said, squeezing his knee. "He is a loving man, a good man, and a wonderful father. He's trying to change everything about this situation, and I hope you can see that we are starting here. Yes, Hannah is already here and is one, but she's lived one of many, many years to come. We want you to be in her life, in our lives."

"Dad, that's crappy; that's cold," Nate said. "Mom has always talked about taking responsibility for your life."

"She's right, and I finally figured that out," Andy nodded in agreement. Hannah continued to look between everyone speaking. Nicole finally let out a long, loud sigh.

"Dad, I don't know what to say," she admitted.

"I don't expect anything now. I'd like to salvage dinner if we can. Sharon made chicken, and if we need to redo the rice, we can. I'd like to start, just us, eating together and talking."

"Dad, you've already messed up with two Flynns," Nate sighed.

"Well, Nate," Sharon pushed on the table to stand, as she tried to recover from the situation, "that can be one of our dinner topics, I suppose. Let's just get it all out in the open, shall we? I'm a big believer in second chances. Ask my ex-husband; I gave him quite a few second chances. You and your sister seem to be well-adjusted, responsible adults, so let's just get it all in the open. He and I are going to be raising Hannah together, no matter what you think we should do. I'm going to be around, and I'd like to get to know you both."

"Kids, I want you to stay. I want to work on our relationship. I have room to love all my kids," he sighed.

Nate shook his head, almost in disgust, "Should we be worried there are more, more kids, I mean?"

Andy glanced at him, wanting to snap at the comment. Instead, he just shook his head, "I've got three wonderful children. I'm trying to be a better man. I cannot change the past, but I can work toward a better future with all my kids."

"So, Sharon, you don't live here now, but are you going to move in with Dad? I mean, at some point, this shuffling Hannah back and forth has to get old, right?" Nate asked her.

"We have not made any plans, other than to keep seeing each other when we can," she admitted.

"It's like you two are setting up for failure already," Nicole scoffed. "Just admit it, that this relationship is nothing more than two people sharing a kid, and it sounds like you couldn't keep your hands off each other before, and that's all it is now, just after you put her to bed. You can't even agree on Dad being part of her life. Wow, Dad, I had hoped things were getting better for you. This is a mess."

"Nic, I know you are bitter. It is a mess, yeah. I'm trying to untangle it," he said.

"What's her name, her full name? She's not even a Flynn, is she?" Nicole asked.

Sharon cleared her throat, "Hannah Maire Raydor."

"Right," Nicole nodded. "Replacement kid since you left us. She's even got my middle name, but no surprise on the last name, Dad. I'm so disappointed."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Nicole," Andy said. "You know, as kids, I love you no matter what. I hope that might run both ways. I hope I can make you proud some day because I'm proud of both of you. I know I need to do better. I will with all three of you. I'm trying."

"Nicole," Sharon said quietly, meeting her gaze, "I named Hannah alone. I didn't know you had the same middle name. That's not on your dad."

"The door is there," Andy stood, Hannah in his arms and gestured. "I want you two to stay for dinner, to get to know people very important to me. I hope you will stay, but you are free to go. I want you in my life, in our lives."

"Let's just eat," Nate stood, sighing. "I think it's safe to say neither of us are interested in babysitting."

"Fair enough," Sharon looked to him. "We weren't planning to ask."

Nicole looked to Sharon, almost surprise on her face, "You don't seem Dad's type."

"Good," Sharon nodded. "He's a different man than the one you know, and as he's changed, so has his taste in women. I can assure you I'm nothing like you probably envision."

"You had a kid with my dad," she scoffed, "and didn't tell us. Let's say that at this point, I don't know what to think, other than to be disgusted."

"Well," Andy gestured to the table, "you can be disgusted and since you're staying, get to know your sister at the same time," he plopped Hannah into her arms. "I don't have all the answers tonight. I just have dinner, and let's eat it so you two can get on with your evening because I know this is about the last place you want to be. Just do me a favor when you go and tell your mom I'm not discussing any of this with her."


	78. Chapter 78

The room was dark and quiet. There was a stillness in the air, but that didn't last long. It was almost too quiet, and she had a lot on her mind. She rolled to her side and threw her leg over his, pulling herself closer to him and rested her chin on his chest. He had been quiet and still, probably almost asleep. She almost hated to wake him, but at the same time, she knew their time together was so short.

"You have something against sleep?" Andy grumbled, moving his arm and putting it around her back where he rested it. "I thought we were finally going to sleep, not that I'm complaining, but you've worn me out."

Sharon burst out laughing, and at that, Andy cracked open his eye. In the dim light coming in from the window, she could see him looking at her. "I'm sorry," she continued to laugh.

"We're laughing about intimacy now?" Andy grumbled. "That's not a real confidence boost, Sharon."

"No, no," she shook her head and patted his chest, moving up closer to his face. She rested her head on his shoulder and spoke softly to him, "I know I shouldn't be laughing-"

Andy interrupted her, "Please, for my own ego, tell me what I did that has you laughing so I never do it again."

"For once, Andy Flynn, this isn't about our time in the bedroom. I'm laughing," she paused because she started giggling again, "because, oh, I almost hate to keep laughing, but you have to admit it's quite funny that the day Hannah meets your kids, her half brother and sister, she has explosive diarrhea and covers Nicole. They were in such a foul mood, and she certainly fouled up things even more. I can still see the look on her face."

Andy groaned, "I can still smell it, see how it got all over Nicole, the floor," he sighed. "I dare laugh at any of my kids."

"I know," she patted his chest again, leaning up to kiss his chin. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be laughing. I guess with the reaction your kids had, it was something to-" she paused.

"Retaliation?" Andy said. "Hannah might be the smartest of the bunch. She's one and basically showed her siblings that they would notice her one way or another."

Sharon started laughing even harder, now almost unable to control herself. She sat up because she couldn't laugh in the position she was in. Andy stayed there, lying on his pillow, his arm going to her back to poke at her. She shook her head, "I don't know what Hannah ate, but it certainly didn't agree with her. I can't think of a time with any of my kids I've laughed about diarrhea, but I'm sorry, Andy, I feel like your kids had it coming. Had my kids behaved like they did, I'd say they had it coming too."

Andy sighed and ran his hand over his face, "Yeah, things went about as I expected, minus Hannah's explosion all over the kids. I was sure the kids wouldn't forget today, but after she covered Nicole, they most certainly won't forget today."

Sharon finally stopped laughing and curled up next to Andy again, resting her head on his shoulder as she hummed, "In all seriousness, I'm so sorry things went as they did today. I know you expected, we both expected," she corrected herself, "the reaction the kids had, but it's still hard to swallow."

"Yeah," he sighed, pulling her close and kissing her head. "I'll never be a good dad in their eyes, even though I'm trying. I'm trying hard, Sharon. I just want my kids, any of my kids to see that."

"I know," she said, reassuring him. "I see that, finally. I do. I see you want to be here for Hannah."

"I think back to a year ago and see how far we've come," he told her. "I'm really looking forward to the holidays. It's the first year in a long time I have any family to really celebrate, not to mention people who want me there. I mean, I know your dad is going to be there for Thanksgiving."

"He wants you there," Sharon said, squeezing his side. "The tough guy exterior-he still wants you there because you make me happy. He knows I want you there. He knows you are Hannah's dad, and no matter how messed up things are with all of this that we are Hannah's parents and want to be with her, together. Regardless of anything, that's more than Jack ever did, and I'm not trying to compare you, but this is what I told my dad. He sees that. He sees you trying, Andy."

"I'm going to keep trying with my kids. I always do. At least they stayed for dinner," he sighed.

"They did, and both Nate and Nicole said goodbye when they left. They didn't storm out," Sharon pointed out to him. "I just can't believe that after dinner, as we were cleaning up, Hannah had another explosion on Nicole."

"What's crazy is that I had been holding Hannah just a minute before that. I put her in Nicole's arms, so I could help you clean up dinner. Nate was actually helpful," he stated. "He was clearing a few plates, probably to get going even sooner-you know, as soon as dinner is cleared, thinking they could go, and that's why I gave Hannah to Nicole. Plus, I mean, it seemed like a good idea for her to hold her sister."

"She was stuck on the half-sister comment," Sharon sighed. "I know it's the truth, but I hated hearing her correct you constantly. I do appreciate that about Emily and Ricky; they just call her their sister."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess acknowledging her at all is a step, better than nothing. I still can't believe that while she's holding Hannah, Hannah just explodes everywhere. That diaper was awful. It covered Nicole."

"On the bright side, "Sharon shifted to look at him, "she had to leave her shirt here for you to wash, so that does mean you'll see her sometime soon."

"Just glad she let me help her," he sighed. "I'm her dad, and she was almost hesitant to take one of my t-shirts. I don't know."

"I know we are going to do our best to have a wonderful holiday season. We're going to try and include all of our kids and spend as much time together as we can," she said, running her hand over the side of his face.

He pulled at her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist as he put his other hand on her hair, "So, with you saying all of that, I'd like to readdress a topic close to my heart." Sharon looked at him, not sure what he was saying. "I have to go to that stupid holiday ball for work. Sharon, I don't want to keep bringing it up, and I promise I won't after this, but would you please consider going with me? I love you, Sharon, and I'm tired of living this secret life. I want to tell everyone about you and Hannah. I just don't care, and I don't want you to care when you've retired and left."

"Andy," she groaned, turning her head away from him. "I cannot tell you how much I hate that idea. We were having such a sweet, romantic time here," she sighed. "Can I just think about it? I don't want to argue, but I also don't want to talk about it now."

"Ball is two weeks after Thanksgiving," he told her. "It would be another weekend to see you and Hannah. We could figure out a babysitter for her. Just think about it, Sharon."

"We have a lot going on before then," she said, running her hand up his side. "We have a trip to Phoenix for both of us for Thanksgiving. We have time together. We have my kids and dad around for that. We have things like Christmas decoration and all. We have to shop for Hannah for Christmas."

"This sounds like a full weekend trip to Phoenix for me," he kissed her head and pulled her even closer to him. "So, can I do those things with you? I mean, I'm not into crazy mobs of people, like Black Friday shopping, but I want a family Thanksgiving like you just described."

"I just thought of something," Sharon tilted her head again. "Do you normally see your kids at some point on Thanksgiving weekend?"

"The only standing date, and I use that term loosely, not as in dating some woman, but the only standing date I ever have Thanksgiving weekend is Provenza, and believe me, he'll be fine to not see us this year. That just means he will have to go see some of his own family for the weekend. No, the kids always avoid me. I'm going to see about getting together with them a couple times before Christmas, but that weekend, I'm all yours."

"Well," she said in a low, teasing tone, "I'm all yours the rest of this weekend. I'm suddenly not tired and would hate to just be bored here."

He started to chuckle and shifted, pulling her with him as he said in a teasing tone, "I think we can find something to cure your boredom. We've got all of Hannah's laundry to fold from her explosions."

"Oh, Andy," she groaned and laughed, "way to kill the mood."


	79. Chapter 79

He pulled up to the house and put the car in park, not sure if he should turn it off yet. It was ridiculously early; Andy knew that, but he couldn't help it. It had taken him 11 hours, an insane amount of time to drive from Los Angeles to Phoenix, but he didn't care. 11 hours. Okay, maybe he cared a little, and maybe he'd mildly complained to himself about it during the drive, but it was all worth it right now. He'd arrived. It was Thanksgiving, and while it was too early in the morning to be ready for turkey, he could certainly go for a cup of coffee, not to mention the pumpkin muffins and assorted bagels he'd picked up down the street. He'd tried to get a cup of coffee there, but they were having some problem with the coffee machine. It was a local place, somewhere he was surprised to see open, but the owner, an older gentleman, said that he had a lot of orders for pies and had decided to open for just the early morning hours. It suited Andy just fine because he was now armed with baked goods for Sharon's family. He checked his watch, and it was now just 6:12. Long drive, but he couldn't stand the idea of waking Sharon's family right now. Even Hannah was sleeping until 7:00 or so most days right now. Sharon had told him that. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what his plan was, other than to get out of Los Angeles as fast as he could last night. The problem was millions of others had the same idea, and while he hadn't done much traveling by car for Thanksgiving over the years, he was blown away by the number of people on the road. What should have been a much shorter drive turned into this overnight long-haul. Okay, maybe he had hoped to get in during the middle of the night, to text Sharon and surprise her as a middle of the night visitor, but that hadn't worked. He was glad he hadn't told her he was driving straight through because, knowing her, she wouldn't have slept. It was bad enough he hadn't slept, and he didn't want Sharon starting her holiday void of all sleep.

He glanced up as two older women walked by, moving at a brisk pace. He gave them a nod and hoped his grin was enough to reassure them he wasn't a crazy stalker. He looked over at Sharon's dad's house and sighed, trying to decide what he should do. It was too early, and while her family knew he was coming today, he definitely couldn't start poking around, looking for an open back door or spare key right now. He could call Sharon. That had been the plan last night when he was hoping to surprise her, but really, what was another hour or so? He could wait. That cup of coffee would be perfect right now. Maybe he should just go and find a gas station open and get a cup there.

Andy actually didn't have to make a decision at all. As he glanced toward the door, it opened, and his beautiful Sharon stepped outside, a wrap of some sort tucked around her. He could tell she was in her pajamas, the silk of them visible even from this distance. Quickly, he turned off the car and stepped out, flashing his grin at her. Her arms were crossed, which in her defense could have been because she was cold, but she also frowned as she moved quickly toward him, and he had an idea that she wasn't thrilled he'd driven all night.

"I might have asked what you were doing here this early, but I had a feeling you might drive straight through. When I didn't hear from you in the middle of the night, I figured you had actually followed the plan we discussed, getting off the road after a couple hours. I should have known," she said as she rolled her eyes slightly. The plan had been for him to leave work, get a couple hours on the road, and stop for the night. One of the problems with that plan was that after a couple of hours on the road, it was 9:00, and he wasn't even out of Los Angeles. Work had dragged, and he'd left later than he wanted. Traffic was a nightmare. Once he finally freed himself of the congested mess, it was very late, and something appealed to him about driving through the dark, open desert.

"Two hours into my drive, and I was still in the L.A. vicinity," he gestured with his hands. "There was no way I could stop for a room when it would have been closer at that point to go back to my own house. I'll go get a room, though, if you are into technicalities about me pulling over for the night. I still can find somewhere to sleep. A couple of power walkers just went by here, and they might be interested in putting me, a much younger man compared to the average age of this retirement community, up for a spell."

"Get over here," she tried to look upset, but she caved and broke into a huge grin. "I'm very happy to see you."

"Happy Thanksgiving," he winked at her as he rounded the car and pulled her in for a hug and kiss. The kiss was perfect, just the amount of force from both to convey they missed the other. It had been almost a month now since they'd been together. Sharon's break at the end of October had been wonderful, but now, it felt like a distant memory. Hannah was growing-walking and talking more. Sharon was finishing another semester at the university, and with Thanksgiving so close to the end of the month, the holidays were going to fly by. Nothing was going to stop Andy from seeing them, his family, the part of his family who DID want to see him. He'd tried to get together with the kids a couple of different times throughout November, but he'd only managed to see them for a movie one Sunday evening. It had been good, but at the same time, it had been tough. Movies were not places a lot of talking happened, and he had been hopeful to take the kids out for dessert after the movie. That hadn't worked, but he was grateful for any time with them. So, here, on Thanksgiving, he was delighted to be in Phoenix with Sharon and all of her family.

Sharon buried her hands in Andy's chest, clearly cold. She had her shawl pulled tightly toward her, "Did it really take you this long to get here? I expected you to arrive just before lunch, thinking traffic this morning would be lighter."

"It was lighter this morning," he nodded. "Seriously, getting out of L.A. was a nightmare. I got gas near Palm Spring after midnight. I hadn't even traveled that far yet."

Sharon glanced up at him, and he realized he loved looking at her without her glasses. She shook her head at him, "Andy, that's only three hours or so from L.A."

"Oh, well aware," he nodded in agreement. "That's what I'm saying. I left shortly after 7:00, and in five hours, I hadn't even gone a normal three or so. It was awful. I had night construction and then an accident that stopped things on the freeway for awhile around 3:00 this morning with a tractor trailer. That looked like the guy fell asleep, and thankfully, he didn't appear injured. It wasn't the best drive."

"I'm so sorry," she frowned, shaking her head.

"I'm not," he said, pulling her to his side. "I'm here, aren't I? Should I be worried you were stalking me from the house? You didn't know I would be here."

"Okay," she raised her hand in defense and pulled her shawl closer as they walked. Andy stopped, put his hand up, indicating he had forgotten something, and he jogged back to the car to get the breakfast treats. Sharon watched, and he winked as he rejoined her, putting his arm around her while he balanced breakfast in the other. Sharon continued, "I was not sitting there waiting for you to arrive. However, my window is there," she pointed to the end of the house, the front, and I was already awake. I thought I heard a car nearby, and then, I heard voices."

"Oh, the power walkers," he nodded down the street. "They walked by just after I parked."

"I got up to check, and I saw your car," she looked up and smiled bashfully at him. "It's hard to be irritated with you for being irresponsible and driving all night."

"I'd drive all night for you anytime," he winked.

"You have before," she nodded and continued, "but we aren't young anymore. It's not good for you. Now, you're here, but exhausted. I," she corrected herself, "we have a toddler who will be ready to go, full blast, very soon, and she doesn't slow down just because you're tired. Believe me, I've tried bartering with her."

Andy chuckled, "Have you?" He grinned at her as they reached the front door. "I have it on good authority this same pint-sized terror still takes a nap during the day." He turned to her and winked at her as she chuckled lightly at his comment. "I'll lie down when she does. I'll be fine. I got a good night of sleep, what, ahh, Tuesday night. Yeah, I'm tired, but I'd really just like a good cup of coffee."

"That I can do," she nodded. "Let's get this inside. What did you bring?"

"I was driving by this little bakery not far," he pointed toward the direction from which he'd come. "Guy was open-opened at 4:30 he said, and I was hoping to get a cup of coffee. Machine was broken, but these muffins and bagels smelled amazing. I brought that for everyone."

"You don't have to bribe my family with breakfast, but that bakery is amazing," she smiled even wider now. "Dad loves that place, and I've even ordered him a few pies from there when he's really missing Mom."

"So, you're telling me I did something he'll actually like?" Andy chuckled. "It must be a good sign."

Sharon looped her arm through his, "I think we are going to have a great weekend. I have you, the kids, Dad-all the people I," she paused and bit her lip, her cheeks quickly looking flushed. She dropped her head briefly and shook it, Andy's eyes still trained on her. She looked back up at him, "That's not exactly how I wanted to tell you, but it slipped out, or almost did, because it feels so normal. I have all the people here I love. I do love you, Andy. I haven't voiced it, but I do." She gave him a soft smile, and he grinned widely as she now was. He put his hand to her face and stroked his thumb on her cheek.

"I love you so much, Sharon," he said, almost choked up and unable to speak. "I never thought I could love someone like I love you. Hannah just is amazing, and you've done all that with her. I'm so happy to be here with you. I am trying so hard to be the man you deserve and want things to go well this weekend."

She wrapped her hand around his, and she cleared her throat before she spoke, "I know I am cold and standoffish, at least I have been with you. I keep myself guarded, and I've worked really hard to let that down with you. When I start thinking about plans-like Thanksgiving today-I couldn't imagine those plans without you. I don't know what this means for us, but I'm trying to just take one step at a time. I love you. I know I do. I think I have for a long time, but when I think of being surrounded by people I love, you're in that picture."

He leaned in and kissed her. In an almost desperate fashion, as if their lives depended on it, she drew toward him, and soon, their kiss deepened with an intensity neither had predicted. Andy still kept hold of the baked goods, and Sharon pulled him tighter toward her. It was like they couldn't get close enough. Sharon even whimpered, and as they were still in the middle of their heated kiss, the front door opened.

"There you are," they heard, and instantly, their lips broke from each other. Sharon turned her head toward her dad, and Andy did the same. Bob was already raising his hands in apology, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here, Andy. Sharon, I was looking for you. Hannah's up. I heard her yelling for you from her room, and I went for her. She's fine. I changed her and all, but I didn't know where you had gone."

"Sorry," Sharon shook her head. She and Andy stepped back from each other, and Andy stuck out his hand to greet Bob.

"That's my fault then," Andy gave Bob a warm smile. "Happy Thanksgiving, Bob. I just got here, and Sharon came out to greet me. I've come with breakfast, and I was just told you rather like this bakery."

"Andy," Bob glanced at his outstretched hand and reached to shake it. "Happy Thanksgiving. Sharon said you would be in around lunch."

"I also said he was known for driving straight through," she pointed out to her dad.

"That you did," he nodded. "Let's go inside. There's a chill in the air."

"Indeed," Sharon nodded, and the three stepped into the house.

"Mama!" they heard as they walked into the kitchen where Hannah was eating in her chair. Bob turned back to Sharon.

"She was acting like she hadn't eaten in days, asking for a banana, so I got her set up in her chair before I started my search for you," he explained. Sharon nodded, reaching behind her for Andy's hand. She found it, and the two clasped hands as they continued toward Hannah.

"Hi, Baby," she said, walking to Hannah and kissing her head. Andy was right behind her.

"She's growing so fast," he sighed. "I see her on the computer all the time, but it's different in person. Sharon nodded as she stepped to the side, and Andy pulled up a chair there with Hannah. "Hey, Pumpkin," he grinned at her and made a silly face as she held her smashed banana toward him. "I've missed you."

Bob waved at them, "I'm going to get my sweater. I just can't warm up this morning. I'll be right back. Andy, coffee is on and still hot."

"Thanks, Bob," he said, as he and Sharon turned back to Hannah, both grateful for a few minutes alone with her. He suspected Bob really was rooting for them, even if he had to be cautious with Andy.

"Hannah," Sharon stood behind Andy and put her hands on his shoulders trying to get Hannah's attention. She was too interested in Andy's silly faces and continued to try and put her sticky hands on his nose. Sharon finally bent down and wrapped her arms around Andy's neck, leaning right to his ear. Andy could feel her hair falling all around his face. In a very low, almost seductive voice, she spoke into his ear, "I have something I'd like to show you."

"Here?" he chuckled, putting his hands up to grip hers. "I mean, I'm always in for a good time, especially when you are being all sexy like that, but Sharon, it's early, and your dad is here, not to mention this kiddo."

"Not that kind of surprise," she said huskily and kissed his cheek. He chuckled, and she continued, "That's for later, but I have no surprises there, just have you way with me however you like," she teased. Andy groaned and shook his head. She leaned in again, the happiness evident in her voice, her facial expressions, and the way she was not wanting to let go of Andy, "Hannah, Daddy," Sharon said and pointed to Andy. Andy tried to turn toward her, visibly surprised by the gesture. Sharon, focused on Hannah, pointed to Andy again, "Daddy." Hannah, with her eyes on her mom and with Sharon pointing at Andy, she repeated her.

"Dad-dee," she yelled, loudly enough to wake the house. "Dad-dee, Dad-dee," she yelled and then started smacking her cup on her tray.

"Oh, my goodness!" Andy exclaimed. "She said it! She called me daddy," he shook his head, and Sharon tightened her grip on him, kissing his cheek. Hannah sat there, her cup now on the floor where she'd thrown it, and she just looked at them. Normally, they would have told her not to throw the cup, but this milestone was one they wanted to celebrate.

Sharon, still by Andy's ear, said, "I've been working on that with her and wanted you to hear it in person. I'm only sorry it's taken this long because I know you are her dad. You've been so good to us, and regardless of anything that has happened in the past, she's your daughter."

"Dad-dee," she said loudly again and grinned at them, not aware of what a big deal this now was. She was just stuck on repeating words, that, Andy had seen on the computer. She loved the cat they had, and often, the cat would be near Sharon and Hannah when they would be on their video chat. Hannah would get fixated on the cat and sometimes repeat, "Kitty," 10 times or more in a matter of seconds.

"Wow, thanks for the introduction, Sis," they heard, and Sharon stood up quickly, her arms moving to Andy's shoulder as she turned. "Leave it to the one-year-old to the introductions," Emily said walking across the room. "You must be Andy, at least I hope."

"Emily," Sharon jumped in, now a little nervous as she stepped from Andy's chair. The special moment was over, and just as they'd been interrupted at the door, they were again. Sharon gestured to Andy, and he tried to stand and face Emily. "Emily, yes, this is Andy Flynn. He arrived just a short time ago now."

Emily, dressed in leggings, a long shirt, and with her hair piled on her head, nodded, "I kinda figured, Mom, really, or I hoped it was Andy that one-Hannah was screaming Daddy at, and two-after never seeing you with any man, I hoped you weren't draped over some other random guy. Andy," she put out her hand, her eyes twinkling as she noticed Sharon's eyes widen while she blushed, "nice to meet you, FINALLY," she emphasized and glanced at her mom again.

"Emily," he put his hand in hers to shake it and smiled at her, "it's really nice to finally meet you in person. I've heard so much about you, and I have to confess that while you didn't know I was there, I saw you dance in New York. You're a beautiful dancer, and I really enjoyed watching you. I'm sorry we were deceptive and I'm only now just meeting you."

Emily raised her eyebrow at Andy, and then, she glanced to Sharon. Sharon let out a small sigh and just rolled her eyes. Sharon cleared her throat, "Okay, I realize I should have told you all of that. It's in the open. Andy is here, and you can spend the weekend getting to know him."

Emily looked between them, nodding to them, "I fully intend to interrogate the both of you this trip. Andy," she turned back to him and smiled, "anyone who can make my mom smile like she is right now must be pretty special. I am disappointed we've not met before now, seeing as how you've at least been in the picture just over two years now, but Mom has had her reasons. I only have one question to start."

"Okay," Andy nodded, "shoot."

She pointed at him, "Pumpkin pie-thoughts on it? See, it's my favorite dessert. It's my brother's favorite too. Mom has always made two pies since we've figured out that we each love the dessert. I'm a dancer, and the one meal of the entire year I splurge is Thanksgiving. I could eat the entire pie. So, do you like pumpkin pie, and if you do, are you willing to let me have most of it?"

"Emily," Sharon rolled her eyes again and sighed.

Andy chuckled and winked at Sharon before answering Emily, "I do like pumpkin pie, but only with plenty of homemade whipped cream. I'm more than willing to share. I'll only ask for one slice, just one," he held up a finger. "To maybe barter that slice, I've brought pumpkin muffins and some bagels. Deal?"

Emily tried to hide the smile forming on her face. Sharon crossed her arms, almost challenging Emily. Emily looked between the adults, and then, she even glanced around at Hannah, "Bringing pumpkin breakfast items was a good move. I'll accept your deal, and maybe we can chat a little over those muffins right now."

Sharon reached over and squeezed Emily's hand, happy that her daughter was willing to get to know Andy. She looked at Andy, a couple tears in her eyes, and she laughed, waving them away. She smiled at both of them, "It's been a wonderful morning so far. I was so worried today was going to be hard with Mom gone, but it's really going to be okay."


	80. Chapter 80

Oddly, it wasn't the first time Andy found himself on a walk with Bob and Hannah. He was trying to relax and tell himself that it was just Bob, Sharon's dad, and he could be himself around the guy. He wanted to be himself, but he couldn't help but feel a little anxious. The situation wasn't exactly normal, and he knew Bob was not pleased with well, really everything about Andy. It had seemed like a good idea to volunteer to take Hannah on a morning walk while Sharon got showered and dressed. It was still early, and she had a lot of cooking to do for the day. He was delighted at the thought of spending time with his daughter, and he quickly volunteered to take her out and about in the neighborhood. It just surprised him when Bob volunteered to tag along for the stroll.

 _"I'll walk with you Andy," he'd said and stood to put on a light jacket. Andy, who was picking up Hannah from the floor where she was playing, stood and turned toward Sharon, his eyes widening at the idea._

 _"That would be very nice, Dad," Sharon smiled at her dad, surprising Andy that she was excited about the idea. She never made eye contact with him to see the terror he had in his eyes. He let out a silent groan, but he threw a smile on his face and looked at Bob._

 _"I don't mind the company, but if you are worried I'll get lost in your neighborhood, I should be fine, "he nodded, hoping that would be enough._

 _"Oh," Bob waved at him, "I'm not worried about that. It's a beautiful morning, and I like walking. I wouldn't miss an opportunity to show off Hannie either. I take great pride in having a gorgeous girl at my side. I'm sure you would agree on that."_

 _Andy chuckled and nodded, "I can't argue with you there," he said, Hannah in his arms, looking around. "Sure," he gave a flat smile, "let's go."_

 _"Wonderful," Sharon said squeezing Andy's shoulder and looking at her dad. "I'm going to get a shower and dressed before I start working on the side dishes. The turkey is in now, and that should keep us on track to eat mid-afternoon. Emily should be almost done herself, and when you get back, I'm sure we can all do some talking as we work in the kitchen. I have no idea when Ricky will surface. He's on that college schedule still."_

 _Andy and Bob nodded as they walked to the door. Andy had only briefly spoken with Emily after she'd met him. She had grabbed her cup of coffee and explained she was on her way to the shower. She still hadn't resurfaced, so Andy expected to really get to know her after he returned from his walk._

 _"Ricky was out cold last I checked," Bob told her. With the three-bedroom house, Bob had put Emily in the smallest room, Sharon had her room with Hannah and now Andy, and he'd put a blow up air mattress in his room for Ricky. It was tight, but it was working just fine for everyone._

 _"Ricky will surface for food," Sharon grinned. "Anything else from him today is just a bonus. You two," she smiled at Andy, "have a nice walk."_

Now that they were in mid-walk, Andy glanced slightly at Bob and cleared his throat, "I appreciate you opening your home to me for Thanksgiving. It means a lot. I'm really glad to be here."

"Like it or not, the circumstances what they are, Sharon wants you here. You're family now, Hannah's family, and well, I'm honestly surprised and maybe even pleased you showed up today, Andy. I thought you'd have some reason to not show. I know work does sometimes get in the way, but Jack always had an excuse, always had a reason to let down his family."

"I know that, and I'll say it again that I'm not Jack," Andy nodded. He stopped the stroller to bend down and get Hannah's doll, which she'd thrown out of the stroller. He put it up out of her reach because he'd already stopped three times to pick up the toy. Hannah turned slightly to look up at him, and she started to complain.

"Lolly!" Hannah yelled, her hand extended, expecting him to give her the doll.

Andy shook his head at her. She was being a toddler, acting more and more like one each day. Throwing things was nothing new, but she was doing it more and more. He'd noticed it more just in the couple hours he'd now been here. The little doll was just the latest victim. He had to almost turn away from her sweet face and little hand waving at him; she was almost irresistible, and he still saw Sharon every time he looked at her. She'd started calling the doll "Lolly," they all decided because it wasn't far from "Dollie."

"No throwing Lolly," Andy told her, almost expecting her to nod and agree to the terms. Instead, she flashed a huge grin at him, her eyes sparkling, and she said, "Mama?"

"We'll see Mom soon," he told her. "We're not throwing Lolly."

"Lolly!" Hannah kicked and put her arm out again. Andy, trying to come up with a workable compromise, glanced at the diaper bag, hanging there on the stroller handle and got an idea. He made a note to remind himself to thank Sharon for sticking the bag on the stroller. Quickly, with Bob watching, he unclasped one of the bag hooks, rigged the bag, hooked the doll's little fabric belt through it, and then, he handed it back to Hannah. Now, when, not if, Hannah threw the doll, it wouldn't hit the ground because it was connected to the diaper bag strap hook. He flashed a proud grin at Bob as he handed the doll over to Hannah.

"Well done," Bob chuckled. "I like your quick thinking."

"Thanks," Andy nodded, and the two continued their walk.

"For what it's worth, Andy, I'm not trying to compare you to Jack. I know it seems like it. I guess I know what Jack has done, and it's hard not to expect you to be like him. I really am impressed you came. I can see it in Sharon; she's just beaming with you and the kids all here. I didn't think we could be happy over the holidays, but seeing her so happy has me happy too. I still miss my wife, more than anything, honestly, but it's good to see her happy, the kids happy too," Bob told him.

"This is the only place I want to be, and if my being here is any part of that smile on her face, I am thrilled to be here then for that. As far as being here for Sharon and Hannah, I know I wasn't here for her birthday party-" he paused.

"You impressed me there showing up later, though," Bob added. "Time and time again, you've made a tremendous effort to show up. Thank you for that."

"Bob, oh Bob," voices called out. The two looked across the street and saw two women waving. They weren't the same women Andy had seen earlier, but they were out walking together.

"Eleanor, Jane," Bob waved at them as they crossed the street toward Andy. Andy heard Bob let out a low sigh, and he glanced at him, almost wanting to chuckle.

"Oh, we were just talking about you and hoping you weren't alone this holiday season," one said as Andy eyed the women. "Looks like your daughter came to town."

Bob, nodding, gestured to Andy, "Eleanor and Jane, this is Sharon's-" he fumbled toward Andy and frowned at him, not sure what to call him exactly. He shook his head at himself, like he'd decided to not to say something, and he gestured again, "Andy is with Sharon, and this is their daughter, Hannah. I've had her here before."

"Oh, we remember the cutie," the woman, Andy now believed to be Jane said as she winked at Bob. "I mean, we remember both of the cuties," as she bated an eye at Bob. "Nice to meet you, Andy. Your daughter is adorable, and you really lucked out in the father-in-law department."

"Oh, well," Andy started to say, and Bob just gave Andy a slight shake indicating the explantion was not worth the effort.

"Yes, I have a full house today. Sharon's family is all here for Thanksgiving," he told them. "You two have plans?"

"We are going to the clubhouse for Thanksgiving dinner later. We were just saying we should invite you if you weren't busy, but it appears you are."

"All weekend," he gave a small nod. "Glad to have a full house."

"Ladies, it is lovely to meet you. Bob," he tried to eye him and finally, met his glance with a small nod, "we were just saying we need to get Hannah home for that nap."

"Right, yes," Bob said. "Happy Thanksgiving ladies. I'll see you around later."

"Bye," they both said as each either touched his hand or squeezed his arm as they continued on their walk. Andy chuckled when they were out of earshot as they continued their walk.

"I see someone is popular with the ladies," he teased.

"Thank you for picking up on my desperation back there. I was trying to figure out a way to get out of that conversation. If only I had Hannah with me every time I saw them," Bob said.

Andy nodded as he smiled, "I felt like I was a wingman or something there, but yeah, I got that lonely widow vibe they were giving off, and I wasn't getting the vibe you, the widower, had any interest."

"No, none," he sighed. "They mean well, but I'm not looking for romance. Sharon's mom was and will always be my one true love. I'm perfectly happy being on my own now, spending time with Sharon and the kids. Anyway, thanks."

"No problem," Andy continued to chuckle, the situation funny to him. "Hannah, Grandpa is the talk of the neighborhood."

"Sadly, I am," he said, sighing. Hannah, after hearing her name, glanced up at them. Andy took the opportunity and pointed to himself.

"Daddy," he said. Hannah looked between the men, and while she'd said it on command earlier, she just frowned, "Lolly."

Andy, who had been focused on Bob's conversation with the ladies, hadn't noticed that Lolly was dangling on the side of the stroller now, his harness now working. He yanked on the doll to only see Hannah throw her as soon as she got hold of her again. Andy just groaned.

"Let's head back to the house," Bob patted his shoulder. "We're not exactly having the calm, quiet walk I envisioned."

Andy glanced at him, surprised, "You expected that on a walk with me?"

Bob shrugged, "You've told me, and I hope," he added, "that you aren't going anywhere, so I think it's time we find some common ground and start learning more about one another."

"Fair enough," Andy nodded. "Ask away; I'm an open book."

Bob nodded in agreement, "Since you said that, okay," he paused. "Let me be frank-what are your intentions with my daughter? If there's anything I want to know, it's that."

Andy frowned slightly at Bob, knowing it was a fair question. He'd answer it too, to the best of his ability, but he wanted to lighten the mood. It had suddenly gotten heavy with that question. Andy let out a nervous chuckle, "Wow, I come through as the wingman only to get hit with that."


	81. Chapter 81

His intentions. Andy couldn't get that conversation out of his head, and he was afraid it was distracting him. He and Bob were back from their walk. Andy wasn't sure he'd given the answer Bob wanted to hear, but honestly, at this point, Sharon was a grown woman. He was grown. The two had grown children, and frankly, things were between them. Certainly, he wanted the fairy tale ending, but with Sharon, he wasn't sure he would get it.

 _"_ _Bob, you want me to stand here and tell you that I'm going to marry your daughter and live happily ever after with her, no problem, no ex-spouses floating around, no drama, no history, but I can't promise that. I mean, let's take Hannah. She's perfect example this isn't some perfect situation. She is perfect," he smiled as he paused in his walk to look down at her. He groaned as he noticed she'd been throwing her food out while they had been talking, almost like she was leaving a bread crumb trail. He looked over to Bob and continued to walk, "Hannah is perfect. That's not what I'm saying, but you and I both know that her entry into this world wasn't in a perfect situation. Of course, it could have been worse. Sharon or I could have been married to someone else; we could have both been married when she came into the picture. We weren't in committed relationships-I mean, Jack, well, you know about that dirt bag. With us, weren't even together, and frankly, I hope I never have to explain to Hannah her mom and I were just having some good old adult fun when she came along," he sighed. "No, what I'm hoping to tell her is that her mom and I love each other. That's all that matters. Sharon has baggage; I have baggage. I can't get rid of that or excuse it. It was a lot just getting Sharon here, to this point, where she'd admit to loving me," he smiled as he said it. Bob glanced his way, raising his eyebrow slightly, but he didn't say more. Andy continued, "My intention is to love Sharon and Hannah, to call them my family because they are, to make them happy, to provide anything I can for them-whether it be money, support, love-all of it, to be there for them as much as I can until we figure out something else. Honestly, Bob, my intention is to be a dad, a partner to Sharon. Would I like more? I think I would, but I'm not going to push for that. I'll be okay if this is all it ever is, Sharon at least acknowledging she loves me. What I won't do is push Sharon. That will only backfire, and I can't have that. I've pushed enough, and it will be enough, whatever that means. Sharon and I will discuss what we want in our future, and I will be okay with that because it will include Sharon and Hannah in whatever way I can get them. I still need to explain Sharon and Hannah to people in my life, which is something I'm trying to do. After that, our future will unfold as we decide it. I can't predict the future, just as you never would have put yourself here without Sue, but I can say that my intention is to put forth 110% of my effort all the time with them. I won't walk away, ever."_

 _"_ _Hannah deserves a family," Bob said pointedly._

 _Andy nodded in agreement, "She has one. Look, I know you want the conventional family-parents married, living in a house with a dog and a picket fence. I know you want her to have siblings there with her, a perfect school, parents home by 5:00. That's not who we are, and it's not what it will ever be. That doesn't mean we don't love her. We all do. She has siblings, and yeah," he nodded, "they are 20 years older than she is, even more than that. They don't live at home. Some barely acknowledge her because they don't want a relationship with me. It is what it is because at the core, she has a mom and a dad who love her, family around her who love her too. You love her. I want her to grow up seeing her mom and dad love each other. I can't draw out how that picture will play, but it will because we do love each other."_

 _"_ _I know you are trying, but I'm worried that this Arizona-California nonsense will get old after awhile, that you will throw in the towel," Bob said. "I realize it's between you and Sharon, but as I said, she's my baby girl. I've watched her suffer for decades. Jack trashed her, ruined a lot of her personal relationships, and I don't want that again."_

 _"_ _I don't either," Andy said. "You have no reason to trust me, but I'd like you to trust we are going to do our best because we love and respect each other. Hannah is icing on the cake."_

"Andy," he heard and snapped his head back to the kitchen counter where he was sitting on a bar stool watching the dinner preparations. He looked over and noticed Emily was now seated next to him, ready to chat. Ricky walked to the counter, across from Andy, and he leaned down on it so he was eye level with Andy and finished munching on a cookie.

"Sorry," Andy waved his hand. "I was daydreaming."

"Wow, we're that boring already," Emily flashed a grin. "Ricky is he always this bored by our family?"

"Nah," Ricky chewed and grinned. "He's usually very interested in the family, Mom in particular," he chuckled.

"Ha-ha, very funny," Sharon called from the stove where she was stirring something. She glanced over at them and pointed with her spatula nodding, "Be nice to him, please."

"I just wanted the dirt on how you and Mom started dating," Emily said as she rested her head on her hand. Her elbow was perched on the counter.

"Oh, well, ahhh," he said and tried to get Sharon's attention. She was preoccupied getting her dad's attention. "Sharon?" he questioned.

"What?" Sharon asked, turning toward them.

"It's contagious," Ricky started to laugh.

Andy just shook his head and turned back to Emily, "Your mom and I met at work. We've known each other a long time."

"Right, I know that much," Emily nodded and gestured, "but how and when did you start dating?"

"We started seeing each other when we had to work a case together," Sharon jumped in, and Andy looked at her and smiled. She nodded, "We've worked plenty of cases together, but this one," she nodded again, recalling it, "we just got to talking, and the rest is history."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Oh, sure," she gestured to her feet where Hannah was sitting there on the floor by the bar area on the floor. "I had no idea she's just 'history' as you say," she shook her head and used air quotes. "That's all we are going to get?"

"Emily," Andy rested his arms on the bar and smiled at her. He could see Sharon eyeing him, and he knew she was worried he'd say too much, but he gave a small shrug. "Sometimes friendships just evolve. I guess what your mom is trying to say is that yeah, we got closer working that case. Somewhere along the line, I think even things were blurred with us, and we didn't realize how much we meant to the other until it was too late. I mean," he held up his hands in defense, "it's not too late, but I suppose we were just going on our own ways, and Hannah kind of changed that. Because of our own experiences in the past, the baggage we both carry, it's just been a long road here. Just like you don't want your mom digging into every detail of your romantic lives, I'd ask you respect that with us. What's important is that she's still your mom and loves you very much," he gestured to the two of them. "She's Hannah's mom too, and I'm Hannah's dad. I know you didn't have a conventional home with your dad around. My kids didn't either. I saw them very little, even though I wanted it to be different. She's going to know her parents are both in her life."

"You live in a different state, though," Emily pointed out to him.

"I do, but I'm doing everything in my power to make things here a priority just as I drove her for the weekend," he said.

"Mom is still raising a kid on her own, though," Emily frowned. "Don't get me wrong-you see like a great guy, and I'm glad you are here. I really want to get to know you, but that's what I see. My dad lived in a different state while Mom raised us. This looks very similar."

"Emily," Sharon called out, almost warning her.

"I know it looks like that," Andy paused and let out his breath, "but let me be clear-I love them and would do anything for them."

"Andy, didn't you mention wanting to take a nap while Hannah naps?" Sharon asked. He looked up at her, and he could see she was trying to rescue him. Her eyes pleaded with him, and he gave a small nod. He glanced back at the kids, "I'd love to talk more with you, but your mom is right. Your sister needs her nap before we all eat, and I'm going on two days now without sleep. I could use a little rest, but understand I am not hiding anything from you and will be happy to talk more later."

"I'll just help you get settled," Sharon said, wiping her hands on her apron as she eyed her kids. She squeezed Andy's arm as she rounded the counter. He stepped toward Hannah, picked her up, and he looked back at the group. Bob, Ricky, and Emily were all watching him.

"This is the first Thanksgiving in years I've been with a family, people I love. I can't tell you what it means to be here, and I'm going to do my best to prove to all of you I want to be there for your mom, your sister, even for all of you. I'll see you after I get some rest," he nodded and followed Sharon back to the bedrooms.

Sharon led him into her room, and he spotted Hannah's travel crib in the corner. She moved behind him and closed the door before he could even think to do the same.

"Andy, I'm sorry," she sighed, shaking her head and crossing her arms. She started to pace the room. "You don't deserve the inquisition from my kids, my family. I'm sure my dad didn't walk with you earlier just to get into the sunshine."

"Sharon," he reached for her arm as she paced. He met her eyes and smiled warmly at her, "It's fine. It's okay. I can handle it. Sure, we raise a lot of questions. I know how we got together isn't exactly a story to sit around the table and discuss, but it's fine. Your kids, your whole family-they all have a right to be concerned. They love you."

She put her arm on him and another on Hannah, "It's my life, though. I'm the grown up here, not my kids. I mean," she sighed, "I don't need them trying to run interference for me. We'll figure this out."

"We will; we are," he corrected himself and smiled. "I pretty much told your dad the same, that we'll figure it out. They can quiz me all they want. I'm just glad to be here."

She started to draw circles with her finger on his arm and gave him a sly smile, "If I didn't have a room full of my family out there right now, I think I'd have my way with you."

Andy grinned and winked at her, "The offer is tempting. "We can' forget about the pumpkin here too," he leaned in and kissed Hannah before he continued, "no need for her to get a show from Mom and Dad."

"Later," she patted his arm, "after she's asleep, after they are all asleep."

"Really?" Andy asked. "I figured there was a moratorium on things while here at your dad's house. Your kids and all are going to be here in the same hallway."

She gave a playful shrug, "You forget about Black Friday shopping. I have it on good authority my children want to battle the crowds."

"I suddenly love Black Friday shopping-I mean, other people going out to shop and leaving us here. Hannah, I think we need to send you with them," Andy jokingly said to her.

"Okay, enough," Sharon swatted at him. "You two need to get some rest. I'm going to continue cooking this feast. I even have a vegetarian dish just for you," she leaned up and whispered in his ear before she kissed his neck.

"This weekend is getting better and better," he flashed a grin. "I'll be as good as new after a little rest, and then, maybe, I'll impress your family a little. I mean, it can't get any worse, right?"


	82. Chapter 82

Andy was stretched out on the bed, his hands behind his head, waiting for Sharon. She poked her head in the door, and he turned toward her.

"I'll have her down in a few minutes," she smiled at him. She had Hannah in her arms and turned her in toward the room, "Hannah, who is that?"

Hannah grinned as Sharon pointed at Andy. He sat up on his side and flashed his bright smile at them there at the door. Sharon stepped in with Hannah, fresh from her bath and smelling of baby lotion, and she moved toward the side of the bed. Andy patted it, and Sharon sat down with Hannah on her lap for a minute.

Andy reached over and squeezed Sharon's hand before he then put his hand on Hannah's leg there by him. She was dressed in her pajamas, white and pink striped ones. "She is so beautiful, Sharon," he said again, giving her a small smile. "After today, I'm just glad to still be here. I thought your family might throw me out after I dropped the turkey platter."

"Not the finest moment of the day," she sighed, shaking her head and chuckling. "That was a first."

Andy groaned and closed his eyes, "My first Thanksgiving with your family, and I end up looking like a total idiot. I drop the platter with the main course," he opened his eye to look at her. "Again, I'm sorry about that."

Sharon started to laugh, "My favorite part was when Ricky just got up from the table, moved around to the side where you were trying to pick up the turkey, and he just took a fork, stabbed a piece of meat, and he started eating."

"I can't believe he did that!" Andy started laughing now too. "Your dad stood there, horrified. He'd just spent all that time carving that turkey, though he could trust me to carry it to the table, and nope, I'm the idiot. Here, I was trying to help him, worried that with his age and all he might be unsteady carrying such a heavy platter. He'd sliced it, and putting it on the table seemed to be the easy part," he grumbled. "That sucker just slipped out of my hand."

Sharon, now laughing so hard she was almost crying, "I'm glad we are laughing about it now. Dad wasn't laughing at dinner. You know he had been talking about that turkey all day."

"I think he thought I did it on purpose when he realized I was a vegetarian," Andy sighed. "He was not excited about that dish you made for me, but, "he reached over for her hand again and squeezed it, "it was really sweet of you to make me a new dish."

"Was that any good, honestly?" Sharon grimaced and looked at him. "You can tell me. It won't hurt my feelings. I'm sorry, but I didn't even want to eat it. Ricky telling me it was good gave me no confidence, as he eats anything. Case in point," she gestured with a nod of her head, "the dropped turkey."

"Hey, at least your dad's place is clean, and there were no animals moving in to eat that turkey. I'm glad it was salvageable," he said. Hannah, who was now really tired, just sat there, watching the interaction between her parents. She stared to rub her eyes, and Andy reached for her foot to squeeze it.

"Someone is ready for bed," Andy added. "It was very kind of Emily to share her room with Hannah."

"I may have politely persuaded my older daughter that was a good idea," Sharon shrugged, winking at Andy. "It's not that I mind having Hannah in here with us, but it does kill the mood."

Sharon hummed and smiled brightly at Andy, "Good sisterly bonding time."

"Well, let me get this one in bed, and we can have some of our own bonding time," Sharon smiled at him as she leaned to him to kiss him. "Dad was exhausted. He didn't sleep well last night, so he was going to climb into bed and watch some television before falling asleep. I just left his room with Hannah. Honestly," she gave Andy a small smile, "I think he's trying with you, with us. I think he's trying to let us figure out things, letting us work on being a family here with everything so strange."

"I appreciate it, and I got that impression from him too," Andy nodded. "Of course, that was before I ruined the turkey."

"You didn't ruin it," she shook her head. "After we cleaned up the turkey, we had a lovely meal, which reminds me-the vegetarian dish I made?" Sharon eyed him, "Was it any good? You dodged my question earlier."

Andy raised his eyebrows and nodded, "It was good, different," he offered. "I know no one else liked it, but yeah, I did. I appreciate the effort more than anything else. It was almost like a version of a green bean casserole, but with kale, spinach, and a lot of other things. I've never had a vegetable casserole topped with tofu, and even more interesting," he chuckled, "I've never seen your dad make a face like that after trying it."

"He hated it," Sharon rolled her eyes. "Like I said, I know he's trying, but I'm sorry he wouldn't stop harassing you about you being a vegetarian."

Andy waved his hand and grinned when Hannah yawned. She started to kick at Sharon, wanting to get down from her lap. Sharon took the opportunity to lean over Hannah and point at Andy, "Daddy." Andy grinned, and he looked at Hannah.

"Daddy," he repeated pointing at himself.

"Mama," Hannah put her hand on Sharon's face and patted it. Sharon kissed her hand, and she took Hannah's hand to point at Andy.

"I'm Mama, and he's Daddy," she told her again.

Andy gave a small shrug, "She said it once."

"Daddy!" Hannah blurted and grinned at the two of them. Sharon and Andy smiled at each other and turned back to look at her.

Sharon grimaced, "I know I've confused her, calling you by your name so much. I'm sorry about that."

Andy shook his head, "Don't say a thing. I'm the idiot who signed those stupid papers. You don't owe me anything after that mess."

"Stop," she leaned in again, kissing him sweetly. "We aren't talking about that now. It was a different time; we were in a different place in our relationship. I'll be back," she said seductively now as she stood with Hannah. Andy's eyes sparkled, and he smiled at Sharon, gesturing for Hannah. She leaned Hannah down toward him, and he kissed her goodnight.

"Goodnight Pumpkin," he kissed Hannah. "Daddy loves you."

Sharon winked at him when she stood with Hannah in her arms, "Don't go anywhere. Don't move. You're mine as soon as I get back."

"Yes m'am," he gave her a slight salute. "What time will the kids be back from shopping?"

"The morning," Sharon chuckled. "As they were getting ready to leave, I heard Ricky trying to talk Emily into going for pancakes when they finish. I think we have all night to just be alone together."

"Happy Thanksgiving indeed," Andy muttered.

"I'll get her to bed," Sharon said moving to the door. "I'll even change into something more comfortable on my way back."

Andy raised an eyebrow, "Really? It's comfortable, hmmm?"

"Actually, no," she dropped her head in a chuckle. "Let's say it's more festive," she winked. "It's not kid-appropriate, not suitable for the general public, but it's something that is perfect for a private showing."

"I'm dead," Andy groaned. "Want me to take care of Hannah while you prepare this ensemble?"

"No," she smiled brightly. "You made my day by being here. This is just something to make it even more memorable. Stay right there," she pointed and ducked out of the room.

As soon as Sharon closed the door, Andy jumped up to grab the gift he'd brought her. It wasn't anything fancy or expensive, but he thought she would really like it. He'd had a picture framed from Sharon's visit in October. The three had spent some time at the beach, doing a lot of walking, and from that, he had a very nice picture framed of the three of them. He'd told Sharon the picture hadn't come out well, hoping that she would forget about it, and instead, he was glad he could now surprise her with it. He'd found a beautiful frame for it too and could see it on her desk at work or her bookshelf at home. He put it on her pillow and turned off the lights, wishing he had candles or something to set the mood. It didn't matter. They were almost giddy to have time together here at her dad's house, time he was sure they wouldn't have because of the family all being there. It was working out well that the kids were out shopping while her dad and Hannah were going to bed.

There were things he wanted to discuss with Sharon, and he knew she felt the same. This long distance thing was manageable, but it was also difficult. It was worth it, something he was going to keep doing because he loved his family. Days like this, holidays, almost killed him. It had been a wonderful day, but it was just further proof that time was precious; days like this were rare, and he found himself wanting to be with Sharon and Hannah more and more. It would be hard to leave them after a weekend like this, just as it was hard to send them home after they'd visited him in October. There were so many things to think about and discuss. It was almost exhausting just thinking about their situation.

Sharon returned several minutes later, and with the faint light from the hallway, had to pause and just smile at the sight. While she had other ideas for the night, it was hard to be upset seeing the man she loved fast asleep there on the bed. He'd put forth so much effort to get to them, to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with them. She knew he hadn't slept during the afternoon, even though he'd tried. Now, he was finally getting some rest, much needed rest after the last few weeks at work. She loved this man, and that was something she never saw coming, not until it was right here in front of her. Andy Flynn. He'd surprised her in so many ways, and now, she had this man right here and their daughter, THEIR daughter, in the room next door. Sharon looked down at her attire and just chuckled. She'd have to change before the morning. This was NOT something she wanted any of the kids or her dad to see, but for now, she just wanted to climb into bed and curl up next to Andy. She could see something on her pillow and bent down to pick it up, pulling it toward the doorway so she could see what it was. She grinned at the photo and found herself tracing the outline of each of them with her hand. He was so thoughtful, and the picture gave her an idea for Christmas too. She set up the photo on her nightstand, closed the door, and she climbed into bed. The day had been hard without her mom, but somehow, Sharon had found many reasons to be happy today.


	83. Chapter 83

"What's got you in such a foul mood today?" Andy asked as he glanced over at Provenza. The two were driving back to the station after collecting a witness statement. He eyed Provenza and when Provenza's phone alert went off again, Andy continued, "and, who is blowing up your phone today? It sounds like someone actually wants to talk to you," he chuckled.

Provenza scowled at him as he looked toward Andy, "Liz. Liz is the reason for all of this," he gestured to his face. "My bad mood is from Liz."

"So, are we talking the bad mood just today or your overall attitude the last, what 15, 20 years? I mean, I know you say, 'It's always the ex, but she can't be blamed for your entire adult life."

"Ex-wives are always to blame for everything," he said gruffly. His phone text went off again, and he sighed as he looked at the message.

"What does Liz want? She couldn't possibly want you," he grinned.

"That gala Chief is making us go to tomorrow is really a disaster," Provenza gestured with his hand as he threw down his phone. "Liz heard me talking about it over Thanksgiving, about how I had to get dressed up for the stupid thing. One of the kids invited me over to their Christmas party, some party with all their friends, like I'd want to go," he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Liz thought I was making up the fact I have to be at this work event, and when she realized I was serious, she invited herself to be my date."

Andy raised an eyebrow as he stopped at a light. He pointed to Provenza, "Let me get this straight-your ex-wife invited herself to be your date for the gala? That's a good one, Provenza. You know, there is a word called, 'No." You might try it."

"Liz doesn't exactly understand no," Provenza scowled again. "The text messages I'm getting are all from her. You'd think she would take a hint when I don't respond, but she's sending me pictures of different dresses wanting my opinion for tomorrow. I guess the only good thing about taking her is that I can drink and make her drive. No way I can go to that thing totally sober, so lucky for you," he flashed a fake smile at Andy, "because you're off the hook as my driver tomorrow night. Thinking about it, the only other decent thing would be taking Liz home-just for the night," he said, making it clear. "At least everything there would be familiar."

"Just stop," Andy held up his hand. "I don't want to hear about you and Liz."

"Says the idiot who has been sneaking around with the captain for two years now, or is that over? You haven't mentioned her in awhile, not that I mind," he said.

"It's not over!" Andy bellowed. "Seriously, you think it would be over? Hannah's my kid."

"People can have a kid and be over, Flynn. You and I both know that," Provenza said sharply.

"Yeah, well, it's not over. I love Sharon. I was with her whole family for Thanksgiving," he offered.

Provenza raised an eyebrow, "Wait, why didn't I know that? You've been sneaky, Flynn," he pointed at him, the scowl on his face evident. "You drove to Arizona? I was stuck with Liz and the kids for Thanksgiving. Why didn't I know you were out of town?"

"It's just been private," Andy offered. "You know," he shrugged. "I love her. It's really hard, Provenza, doing this back and forth. Neither of us want to talk about the future because we don't know what that means. I guess I want to talk about it, but we are both set in our ways. I love Sharon, and I love Hannah. I just enjoy being around them so much, but then, I get back here, and this is my life."

"Okay, Dr. Phil, we could talk about that mess for hours. Spill it, though about Thanksgiving. How did it go?" Provenza asked.

"I dropped the turkey," Andy sighed and shook his head.

Provenza started to chuckle at him, "You don't eat turkey, but you dropped the one thing, the main entrée, for the day. Flynn, it's like the World Series of food. Everyone gears up for Thanksgiving, and you dropped the turkey?"

"It was an accident, but yeah," he sighed again. "We got over that, but I felt like an idiot. Her dad and other kids were there. I made a fool of myself."

"Well, one could say that when you knocked up the captain and had a kid at your age, you idiot," Provenza smacked at him. "How did things go with the family?"

"Well," Andy nodded. "I like her kids, and they did well with me. It was a little awkward having her dad almost glaring at me all the time, like the, 'I know what you are doing with my daughter' look, and yes, even at my age, that look is terrifying, but it was good. This was Sharon's first Thanksgiving without her mom, and she handled it well. I helped them put up their tree and hate I couldn't help Sharon put up hers in Flagstaff. I spent a lot of time with Hannah," he smiled at Provenza. "You wouldn't believe how much she's changing, Provenza. She finally called me daddy."

Provenza nodded at him, "Did anyone mention to the kid that legally you aren't her father?"

"I am by DNA!" Andy bellowed. "That's still a mess, but Sharon and I are just ignoring my indiscretion."

"Indiscretion," Provenza chuckled and shook his head. "It's more than that, Flynn. Knocking up the captain might be called that. Signing away your kid is more."

"Let me be clear!" Andy exclaimed and looked at him. "I'm well aware of what I signed. Sharon is too. For now, we just aren't talking about it. We know what we have."

"Seems to be your theme, avoidance," Provenza nodded. "Yes, that will work well. You just said you are avoiding any talk about your future."

"We are, but what's there to discuss really? Neither of us can change. This is working," he shrugged. "I see them when I can, and we are all okay with it. Families are made up in many different ways. Hannah has two loving parents with two homes. Plenty of kids have a parent who is away a lot for work."

"The time is going to come when the captain finds a man to fill her bed, Flynn, a man who will cave to what she wants," Provenza warned him.

Andy shook his head, "I'm her guy. She's independent. Look, if we push, it's like things won't work. She's not coming back here, not happening. I live here. It's the way it is. She doesn't even like visiting LA anymore. I can't explain it, but I'm making it work."

"What happens when you have school recitals, soccer games, all of that? You can't be here and there," Provenza told him.

"Hannah is one, and I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Anyway, all of this is just a distraction from your mess. What's the verdict on Liz's dress?" Andy laughed.

"Nothing. In fact," he paused as he typed on his phone. Andy glanced over as he typed, and then, Provenza nodded as he finished, "There, I told her to wear nothing to the gala."

Andy raised an eyebrow, "Seriously? You know how that sounds, right?" As Andy said that, Provenza got another text from Liz. His face turned red as he glanced at it, the content of the text just hitting him. "Flynn! Why did you let me text her that? She took it the wrong way!"

"I'm not surprised Provenza," Andy said laughing. "You were married to her, and then, you send her a text telling her to wear nothing? She assumes you are hitting on her. You'll be lucky to make it to the gala. If you don't show up, I'll tell Chief you are locked in a bedroom with your ex," he said laughing again.

"We're divorced! Why does she keep latching onto me?" Provenza asked.

"Hey," Andy nodded to him and continued, "you just said you'd take her home for the night after the gala. Seems like you both have blurred the lines, Provenza."

"Stuff it, Flynn," he gestured at Andy. "You are actually looking forward to this mess, aren't you?"

"No!" Andy exclaimed. "It's the opposite. I invited Sharon to go with me. She won't come, doesn't want to explain our situation to the entire LAPD. Whatever," he gestured and sighed. "I just want tomorrow to be over. If I didn't have to go to the gala, I'd be finding a way to get to Flagstaff."

Another text message alert came through for Provenza. Andy started to laugh, and Provenza just eyed him, "On second thought, Flynn, you can be my wingman tomorrow night. You're going to stop by my place, pick me up-along with Liz, take us to the gala. Last thing I need it to bring her home tomorrow. Christmas is coming up, and I don't want to spend the holiday with her, and I certainly don't want her thinking we are back together."

"Why not?" Andy shrugged. "The way you said that you have a reason."

"There's no way I'm buying her a Christmas gift," he huffed. "Liz stays out of my bed tomorrow night so I don't have to buy her a gift."

"I seriously can't believe you are using me as the middle man with your ex," Andy glanced at him.

"What are friends for?" Provenza smirked.

Just over 24 hours later, Andy, Provenza, and Liz found themselves standing in the ballroom entrance looking out at the scene.

"This place looks beautiful!" Liz exclaimed. "Oh, Louie, it really is putting me in the holiday mood," she said clasping his hand. Provenza eyed her, looking down at their now joined hands. Andy laughed and dropped his head. "Andy," she called to him, getting his attention, "it was so sweet of you to pick us up tonight. I have a feeling Louie and I are really going to enjoy ourselves. Who knows where the evening will take us?"

Andy nodded, noting Provenza had raised his eyebrows. To mess with him, Andy winked at Liz, "I'm sure it could take you back to Provenza's place after the ball. You look lovely, Liz. Provenza is a lucky guy."

"He might get lucky later," she grinned and swatted at Andy's arm as she leaned up and kissed Provenza on the cheek. He waved her off.

"Liz, I work with these people! None of that, please! You wanted to come, and I brought you so I wouldn't get stuck talking to boring people all night," he explained.

"Andy, we need to find you someone here," Liz said, eyeing the place and looking around. "I see a lot of prospects. Now, you need to let me know what type of woman you'd like to find tonight. I have known you a long time, but I'm not sure I could peg the right woman for you," she nodded.

"Not that one over there," Provenza shuddered and nodded to the corner. All eyes looked that way. Andy smiled at Liz and Provenza.

"Chief looks nice. Looks like the team is gathering over there. Let's go talk to them," he said.

"Oh, that's right!" Liz exclaimed. "I knew she looked familiar. That's your boss, right Louie?"

"Yes, that's the chief," Provenza nodded. "Flynn let's go make our appearance with the chief. We can get this over and get out of here," he hissed.

Liz leaned up toward his ear, "I like the way you think, Louie."

Andy started to chuckle as they walked, and Provenza looked up at Andy, "On second thought, maybe we should hang here with the team, you know, because we are required to be here."

"Andy, I'm serious about finding you someone," Liz told him.

"No thanks, Liz," Andy shook his head. "I'm not interested."

"I've told you about his daughter, Hannah," Provenza told her. "Flynn is stuck on the baby mama."

"Louie," she swatted at him. "Be nice. I'm sure she has a name."

"Several," Provenza chuckled. "I was being nice with that name. I agree with you we need to get Flynn interested in someone, but I think he's a goner."

"Well, where is she tonight, Andy? Surely if you are that interested in her, you invited her, right?" Liz asked.

"Home in Arizona," he shrugged, giving her a small smile. "She and the baby are home, setting up the Christmas tree, in fact. I spoke to her earlier this afternoon, and she said that was what she had planned for the weekend. Wish I could be there with them," he shrugged softly.

"Well, well, you two did show," Gabriel grinned at them as they walked up to the group. "We had bets you would both cancel on tonight."

"It's required, right?" Andy asked. "Chief," he nodded and looked around at the group, nodding to the rest. "What's going on here, anything good?"

"Oh, just surveying the scene, taking bets on which officers will meet their soulmate here tonight," Mike grinned and winked at them. "My wife didn't even want to come. You know this event is bad when your own spouse ducks out."

"Or your ex-spouse invites herself," Provenza offered. Liz smiled and swatted at Provenza's arm.

The group all started to chat as they looked around the room. Andy found himself standing between Liz and the chief. After a few minutes, Liz smacked at Andy's stomach, "Andy, I think you need to take a look over there," she gestured, and all eyes turned that way. "I would recognize her anywhere."


	84. Chapter 84

"What are you doing here?" Andy asked, eyeing her. He'd made a beeline across the dance floor, surprising her with his gestures now. Clearly, he was shocked to see her. "You look beautiful, by the way," he grumbled almost under his breath.

"Dad," she said, surprised to see him. "I didn't think you'd be here tonight."

"What? You came to a police ball, and you didn't think your dad, a detective with the LAPD, mind you, the organization throwing the ball, would be here? I'll ask again, why are you here looking so beautiful?" Andy raised his eyebrows at the man standing at her side.

"This is Carlos, my date," Nicole introduced him. "He's a patrol officer at the Hollywood Station Division. We met on campus where he's taking classes at night. I'm still working on my master's degree, and we've been seeing each other a couple months now."

"Lieutenant Andy Flynn, Major Crimes Division," Andy said gruffly, sticking his hand out to meet his daughter's date. "Officer," he nodded to him. "I wish I'd heard about you, anything at all before now," he said slightly gruff as he eyed his daughter. Carlos quickly shook Andy's hand and glanced over at Nicole as he put his arm on her back in a show of support.

"Carlos, this is my real dad," she gave a small nod to Andy, turning toward Carlos and stepping closer to him.

"Real dad! I'm your only dad. You make it seem like I am still some deadbeat. I've tried over the years, and yeah, I know I messed up when you were little, but I've been trying!" Andy said, now agitated. People started to turn to them to see what the commotion was all about at the ball. "I am your dad! I'm trying, and I would have been very interested to know you were planning to show up here tonight!"

"Flynn!" Andy felt Provenza's hand on his arm before he heard his voice, but Provenza's voice snapped him out of it. Andy waved off Provenza with his free hand and quickly took a deep breath to collect himself. He looked back at Nicole as Provenza stepped to his side. "Nicole," he said, taking her hand to kiss it before he looked up at her again. "It's lovely to see you; it's been a long time."

"Lieutenant Provenza," Nicole smiled at him while Andy collected himself. "You haven't changed at all, still the dedicated partner to Dad here. Lieutenant, this is Carlos," she nodded to him. "

"Nice to meet you Lieutenant," he nodded to him and looked to Andy. "Sir, I mean, Lieutenant, it's nice to meet you as well. Wow, Major Crimes. I didn't realize. Nicole has briefly mentioned you work in law enforcement. I had no idea; we haven't talked about you much, more about her stepdad."

Andy scowled at that, but he felt Provenza smack at the back of his arm, so he put on his best smile. "I'm just really surprised to see you, Nic," Andy tried to smile again at her, hoping it did not look too forced. He nodded to her silver beaded dress, "You really look beautiful, really beautiful, wow. I wish you would have told me you'd be here."

She shrugged, "You hate these things, both of you," she even nodded to both men. "Mom helped me find the dress."

"Yes, well, we were told to be here," Provenza let out a sigh, speaking quickly before Andy could comment on his ex-wife's involvement in the evening. "Your dad and I," Provenza gestured, "our boss, her boss even, let's just say this is a mandatory fun time for us. I'd rather be solving some murder. Instead, I'm here at this ball and with my ex-wife to boot!"

Andy just shook his head, "I know this sounds crazy to say, Nic, but it's almost hard to believe you are old enough to be here at this ball. You really do look beautiful," he smiled at her.

"Thanks, Dad," she gave him a simple smile and nod. "Ahhh, I guess maybe we will see you later? I'm sure you want to get back to your date, both of you back to your dates," she nodded.

"Ahh, yeah," Andy said, scratching the back of his head and turning back to where the team was across the room. He gestured to Nicole, "Please don't leave or anything before I see you again. I'd love to get a nice picture with you, even out there where they have a photography area, okay?"

"Sure," she gave him a small smile. "Carlos, are you ready to dance?"

Carols grinned at Nicole and turned toward Andy. "It was nice to meet you again, Lieutenant Flynn," he said as he stuck his hand toward Andy. He looked sincere, scared too, and Andy gave him a slight nod as he shook his hand.

"Likewise," Andy continued to nod. "How many years have you been on the job?"

"Seven," he smiled. "I love what I do."

"Seven," Andy nodded, repeating the number. He though about that, realizing that made Carlos several years older than Nicole, not that it was a bad thing. He gave him an almost fake grin, "I've got friends in high places, places like Internal Affairs, so I hope you're a stand-up cop."

Carols looked to him with an almost panicked look, trying to shake his head, but Nicole put her hand on his arm and swatted at Andy, "Dad! Be nice, and yes, he's a good cop," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll talk to you later."

Andy watched his little girl, honestly, his grown daughter, walk away with her boyfriend. Andy shook his head as he turned back to Provenza, "Did that just happen?"

Provenza sighed and let out his breath, "It did. Maybe he's okay," Provenza shrugged.

"I know I'm looking him up when we get back to work," Andy scowled. "My kid is dating a cop, and she didn't even mention it to me. I mean, this isn't like a first date, and she didn't make it sound like this was a friend thing, like I need a date or someone to hang with at this ball. She said they've been seeing each other for a couple months."

"She did," Provenza told him. "Little Nicole is grown up."

Andy frowned, "I don't like it. I mean, I know she has dated. I don't like seeing her all beautiful. I mean," he raised his hand and shook his head, "I mean, of course, she's beautiful. I still think of her as a little girl, like Hannah. It's hard to see she's a grown woman. You realize what this means, right?"

Provenza raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what Andy was thinking. He gave a slight nod, "Right, she'll be going home with that guy; she's sleeping with him."

"No!" Andy exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. "That's not what I was going to say, but geez, now I have that visual. Provenza !" Andy yelled at him. "That's my kid. I don't need to think about that Carols taking my baby home and sleeping with her. That's not what I was thinking."

"What were you going to say?" Provenza asked, now confused. Andy was shaking his head, trying to get the visual out of his mind. He turned back toward the team, and he sighed, watching Nicole out of the corner of his eye.

Andy waved at him, trying to dismiss him, "Let's not talk about Nicole. You just ruined my thoughts. I was simply going to comment on her growing up, maybe having to pay for some expensive wedding one of these days, even actually having to get along with that idiot if she marries him, another cop," he grumbled. "Even if it's not that guy," Andy gestured in the air, "she'll get married one of these days. I'm going to have to get along with some guy she marries. At this rate, I'll be lucky if she invites me to the wedding. Knowing Sandra, I'll get the bills sent to me in the mail for everything with some lame excuse my invitation was lost in the mail. Sleeping with him," Andy said in an irritated tone as he shook his head at Provenza. "I swear if that guy has anything in his jacket, any blemishes on his record, I'm going to pay him a little visit."

"You and I both know the places to start, the places cops go for a good time," Provenza gave him a look.

"What, you mean check to see if he's a drunk or something like me?" Andy eyed him.

"Now that you mention it," Provenza pointed to Andy, "that's a great idea. Let's get out of here and go to the bar. I think we could both use a drink-a hard one for me and your cranberry juice. And," he patted Andy on the back, "you're a recovering alcoholic now, Flynn. Even I can admit when I'm proud of you, and I am. Let's hit the bar, ask around, see if that Carlos frequents any plays the field," Provenza pointed out. "We need to also find out if he's been married, not that there's anything wrong with it," he said as he held up his hand in defense. "Let's face it Flynn-you and I aren't great examples of solid family dynamics. We know what we don't want Nicole to find in a significant other. I say we start with the bars, see if he frequents something like the strip clubs."

"I didn't mention it! You brought up the bar," he scowled. "Chief is eyeing us, and Liz has been stopping every waiter walking by, grabbing a drink from each one. Let's head back that way. I can't believe my kid is here with some cop," Andy grumbled again.

"Sleeping with him too," Provenza smirked. "Let's not forget that. All those grins you get thinking about what you are doing with the captain, all of those sick, twisted thoughts," he grimaced, "your little Nicole is sleeping with her own cop. Like father, like daughter, as they say. You are both sleeping with cops."

"STOP! Let's forget it!" Andy turned and yelled sternly at him. "Just go back to the team. Besides, it's 'Like father, like son,' you old man!"


	85. Chapter 85

"Liz and I are ready to get out of here. Flynn, you ready?" Provenza asked a few minutes later after they had rejoined the team. Andy had his eyes on Nicole, trying not to stare, but failing miserably. Andy waved off Provenza.

"No, you heard me tell Nicole I wanted to get a few pictures with her. We've been here now, what," Andy glanced down at his hand to check his watch, "less than an hour Provenza," he frowned. "As much as I would love to get out of here, we've barely been here long enough for anyone to see us. Let me give Nicole a little space and time to get back around to me. Let's just go stand at one of those little table things over there and have something to eat. I'm starving."

"Getting food in Liz is a good idea," Provenza nodded. He gestured to Liz, who was busy talking to Mike's wife. "Liz," he gestured, and she moved toward them.

"We're going to get Flynn some food. He's cranky," Provenza explained.

"Cranky!" Andy yelled, and he rolled his eyes at Provenza as the trio made their way to an empty table. A waiter was walking by with another tray of food. Andy stopped him and grabbed something that looked like a small quiche.

"What is that?" Provenza made a face and grimaced at Andy.

Andy shrugged, "Don't know. It's decent though."

"I'm getting more drinks for Louie and me. Andy, do you want anything?" Liz asked. Andy shook his head, but Provenza held up his hand before she walked away.

"Get him a cranberry juice, please, and Liz, bring me not one, but two beers," he gestured, holding up two fingers. "I'm going to need them."

Andy rested his hands on the table, looking bored, even frustrated while he scanned the room for Nicole. He didn't want to take his eyes off her, even though that was silly. He was somehow struck with just how beautiful she looked, even though it still shocked him to see her here tonight. He'd have to casually mention to Sandra that information like that would have been good to pass along, especially considering she'd helped Nicole find a dress. Typical behavior for his family-typical. Andy just sighed as he clasped his hands in front of him, his elbows on the table. The team had somewhat dispersed after he and Provenza had dragged Liz from the group. Well, some of the team was already mingling. Chief and Fritz were dancing. Julio, Mike, and Mike's wife were still talking. Gabriel and Buzz, Andy hadn't seen either of them, but as he started looking, he found them in line for something to drink, ahead of Liz. They'd probably make their way to his table when they had their drinks too. Taylor was nearby; Andy had seen him earlier talking to people. Taylor would do that all night. Andy's phone rang, bringing him out of his daze.

"Please, I'm almost hoping for a murder," Andy heard Provenza say as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He smiled as he started to answer it. "I'm going to go and get another beer. Whatever Liz is bringing me isn't enough," he grumbled and walked off as Andy answered his call.

"Nope, but definitely something to brighten my mood," he grinned at Provenza as he walked away from the table. Andy answered the phone, "Hi, Sweetheart. You know how to improve my mood."

"I hate seeing you frown," she told him. "You have such a wonderful smile; I'd much rather see that."

"Frowning," he frowned again as he listened to her. "I'm not frowning."

"Maybe not now as you are talking to me, but frowning and slouching, Andy Flynn, what has you so down?" Sharon asked him again. He stood up straight, now on guard.

"Wait, slouching," he started to look around the room. "Sharon are you here?"

"I know your demeanor, and the way you answered that phone, you are hunched over and feeling down. Now, tell me what is going on, please," she said.

"You will never guess," he chuckled, resting his elbow on the table to talk to her. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," she said. "I wanted to offer a peace offering."

"Peace offering?" Andy questioned. "Umm, did I miss something? Are we fighting? If we are, I don't remember the argument," he chuckled quietly.

"I need to meet you halfway," Sharon said, this time Andy heard a different echo to her voice. He spun around, and she was there. "You've been so wonderful, so supportive. You're right that it's time for this to just be out in the open. It's not fair to ask you to hide part of your life, a big part of your life. Hi," she smiled warmly at him as she hung up her phone and stepped up to the table next to him, bumping his shoulder as she did.

"What are you doing here? You were decorating your Christmas tree this afternoon!" Andy exclaimed. "You hated the idea of coming to this."

She nodded, "True, well, some of it," she gave a small shrug. Andy rested his elbow on the table and turned sideways to speak to her, the smile radiant on his face. She turned toward him to continue her explanation, "I didn't say I was decorating the tree right then. I said I wanted to decorate the tree this weekend, and I do-your tree, together," she smiled softly. "As for my being here, if it's a problem, I can go," she hooked her thumb toward the door. "Right," she nodded in a playful tone, "you probably have another date."

"I so want to take you in my arms and kiss you senseless right now, but this is neither the time nor the place. I can't believe you came. This is just the greatest surprise. What do you mean a peace offering though?" Andy asked.

She sighed and glanced around the room. She'd gotten a few raised eyebrows as she'd moved about the room, but honestly, she wasn't sure if it was the fact she was actually here or her dress. She knew it was a great dress. She'd spent more on it than she'd wanted, but she'd also wanted to see this look on Andy's face, pure joy, total excitement. She'd found this classic style all black dress with an off the shoulder cut. It had a bit of flair around the top, almost like a feathered look. She hadn't liked it on the rack, but on, the salesgirl had been right; it had an elegant look. The dress was slightly fitted with a mermaid style flare at the bottom too, all black, and it fit her perfectly. She'd really wanted to wear one of the dresses she had in her closet, but this really was perfect now that she was here.

"I owe you so much more than a peace offering," she explained. "I love you. I need to show you more that I do. You have done so much for me. You're always driving throughout the night to see us. Andy, you have been proving over and over again you would do anything for me, for us. All you want is to tell your friends and family about this, about me, about Hannah, and this is something I need to do. I need to accept things for what they are. You live here; I live there, and we have this crazy life, one that I'm glad to share with you," she reached out and squeezed his hand.

"Captain Raydor?" they heard, and both turned, their hands pulling apart as they did. Brenda and Fritz walked up to the table. Andy caught Provenza's eye as he was walking too, and Provenza raised his eyebrows at the sight. Andy looked back at Sharon as Brenda and Fritz approached. He leaned slightly toward her so she could hear him.

"You look absolutely beautiful, stunning," he said. "I really like your hair like that, to the side. Your dress," he shook his head. Sharon looked up and him, and he whistled. She smiled brightly.

"Hi Chief, Fritz," she smiled at them. "It's been awhile."

"Captain, that is you?" Brenda nodded to her as they stepped up to the table. "Andy," Brenda nodded. "I thought your daughter was here, and when I saw you here, at first, I thought it was your daughter. Fritzy thought it was Captain Raydor."

"Nicole is here?" Sharon's eyes widened as she turned to Andy. He waved it off, and Sharon quickly realized that she'd given away the fact she knew a good deal about Andy.

"Ahh, Captain, long time, no see," Provenza said walking up to them. "To what do we owe the pleasure tonight? I didn't expect you at all tonight," he eyed Andy. Andy returned the look with a shrug.

Sharon nodded, "I have my reasons to be back in town. Truthfully, I wasn't sure how I'd feel, but it's nice to see all of you, even you, Lieutenant Provenza," she gave him a smirk.

"Sharon," Fritz nodded at her. "You are looking well. It's been what, a year now? How is the baby?"

"Fritz," Sharon smiled back at him. "Thank you, and yes, it's been a year now, over a year. It almost feels like a lifetime, a different life. Hannah is doing well, very well. She's walking and talking. I didn't know what life would be like with her, and now, I can't imagine life without her," she smiled, turning slightly toward Andy.

"Ahh, Captain Raydor, a blast from the past," the group turned as Mike, his wife, and Julio all walked up to the group. "We wanted to see what everyone was gathered around here talking about, and I can see it's you, Captain."

"Hello everyone," Sharon nodded.

"Captain Raydor did I hear you were molding young minds as a college professor?" Brenda asked.

Sharon chuckled, as did Andy. Sharon nodded and hummed, "I am. I'm living in Flagstaff, Arizona, teaching at the university there. I love it, even more than I imagined."

"Flagstaff," Provenza eyed Andy, "Flynn and I have been there."

"Taylor and Pope conned you into this, Ma'am, even with you being retired?" Julio now asked.

"Well, not exactly," Sharon said, taking a deep breath. She gave Andy a slight nod, knowing this is what he wanted to do, to explain this to his team, his group of friends.

"Guys," Andy cleared his throat, and the team looked toward him. "Sharon came tonight because I asked her here as my date. She's with me."

"Andy, no offense, but have you been drinking?" Mike leaned in and asked quietly. "Raydor?"

"Hold on, hold on," Brenda held up her hand as she shook her head. "What?"

Andy just nodded at the group, "So, guys, everyone, Chief," he gave a bashful smile and looked to the group. He reached for Sharon's hand, and it was like without looking at her, she knew. Her hand found his, and he gave a small shrug, "Sharon's here with me. I invited her. We're together."

"Together?" Brenda started to chuckle and looked around at the team to gain support for her good laugh. "Now, why would you two come together? The only thing you two were good at doing together was arguing."

"True," Andy nodded and continued, "at least for awhile. I mean, you remember the cross-country case, Chief, right? We were stuck together that trip."

"Not exactly stuck," Sharon blurted out, but then, she groaned and shook her head. "We were stuck, at least to start, but we have come a very long way." Sharon looked at Andy and gave him a small smile.

"This is for real?" Julio gestured between them, "Like this isn't a joke-for real?"

"No joke, totally for real," Andy smiled. "Guys, one of the reasons I wanted Sharon to come tonight was so we could put this out in the open. We're really together."

"I'm confused," Julio frowned. "When did this happen? Captain, you moved away, and you have your baby."

"Hannah," Andy smiled warmly and looked at Sharon. "Her name is Hannah. Where is she tonight? I haven't had a moment to get any details. Nicole is here," he gestured behind him. "That's a story for later. Is Hannah in Phoenix with your dad?"

"She's with Gavin, here," Sharon squeezed his hand. "We drove over earlier today to surprise you."

"I thought you were here together," Mike gestured.

"I wasn't sure I could make it," Sharon said, stating the words clearly as she met Andy's gaze, hoping he would just leave it at that. "This needed to be a priority, is a priority, so she and I drove over this morning. I wanted to surprise Andy and here I am. Hannah is with Gavin, and he's on babysitting duty instead of reading legal briefs."

"Wait, Gavin, as in my lawyer, Gavin Baker? Fritzy was told I should use Gavin. You can't mean the same Gavin, do you?" Brenda asked, clearly confused.

"The one in the same, Chief," Sharon smiled and nodded. "He's one of my closest friends, and I am sure you are in good hands with him. As you can see, I trust him with my daughter. He's a wonderful friend, and even though he seems like he would not want to be within 100 feet of a child, he loves all of mine like they are part of his family."

"Gavin is definitely is a character," Fritz smiled. "It's nice to see you, Sharon, and you two," he just nodded at them both.

"So, when?" Mike gestured again. He was really trying to piece together the storyline.

"Ahh, that's complicated," Andy said to the group, making a face at Sharon. "It's been a process."

"Lieutenant how do you like being around a toddler?" Julio chuckled. "That has to be interesting."

"You have no idea," Andy dropped his head and chuckled. Sharon squeezed his hand, and he turned his head slightly to eye her. She gave him a small shrug, and he nodded. He looked back at the group, "Guys, it's great being around Hannah, Sharon too," he smiled warmly at her. "I can't tell you how many trips to Flagstaff I've made on long weekends, holidays, after crazy cases. They are my world. Mike," he looked to him, "you asked how long? Hannah's mine. This should have come out then, but we were working through a lot. Sharon's divorced, and yeah," he nodded and continued, "people assumed she, Hannah, belonged to Sharon's ex-husband. Things were complicated; we had our reasons, but Sharon and I have a daughter, Hannah," he nodded.

"I did not see that," Mike whistled and shook his head. As Andy and Sharon glanced around, they saw most of the team stunned. Provenza was just there, quietly supportive, even if he had been heard mumbling, "Idiots." The rest were just staring at them wide-eyed."

"Ahh, wow, Andy," Brenda let out a nervous chuckle. "Land sakes, you're one of my detectives, and I didn't see that. Fritzy can you believe this?"

"Shocking," Fritz said, although as he caught Andy's eye he gave him a small smile and a wink. Andy looked back at him slightly surprised, but he gave him an appreciative nod.

"Sorry to interrupt," they all heard and turned. "Dad, listen, Carlos and his friends are wanting to leave soon, or at least to step outside. Sharon!" Nicole said, also surprised to see her. "I had no idea you had come here. You just are stunning! What an amazing dress! Dad, she's here? You really are still seeing her?"

"Nicole, seriously! I love her! Why wouldn't we be still together?" Andy groaned, and the team raised their eyebrows. Sharon put her arm on Andy's arm to calm him, offering a small smile at Nicole.

"Lovely to see you, Nicole. We will have to catch up while I'm in town, and of course, if you would like to see your sister, I know your dad would love that. You look beautiful yourself. I'm here to support your dad. I realize just how important that is, to be supportive even when you have to push yourself a little."

"Andy," Brenda had her hand up to her mouth, trying to digest everything, "you really are a dad again?"

Sharon pulled her phone out of her clutch, nodding to the group, and she held it up. She rolled her eyes, "My phone has been alerting me to Gavin's evening with Hannah. Let's check in on them, shall we?"

She quickly pulled up a video chat with Gavin, and he answered quickly, "What did you do to this sweet thing, and what did you feed her on the drive today?" Gavin could be heard asking her that when he answered. Several started to laugh.

"Gavin," Sharon said, chuckling herself, "say hi to Andy's team. We wanted to show off Hannah for a moment."

"Hey Gavin," Andy stepped in behind Sharon and gave a small wave. "Thank you for watching her, for helping with this surprise."

"Andy, clearly you have done something with this sweet thing. Last I saw her she was cute and cuddly. She didn't talk or throw things. Now, that's all she does. She's a tiny terror, and I won't tell you what she's already done to my current brief. Let's say I've had to reprint it. Her diapers are another story."

Sharon covered her mouth and continued to laugh, while Gavin pulled Hannah to his lap. Sharon made sure the group could see Hannah, and after she allowed the group to see Hannah through her phone, she pulled it back to herself with Andy standing behind her.

"Mama!" Hannah yelled when she saw Sharon.

Sharon grinned at her, "Hi, Baby. Hannah," she grinned and pointed, "who is this?" Andy made a face at Hannah, which had her giggling.

"Mama, Dad-dee! Dad-dee!" Hannah yelled.

"My word!" Brenda exclaimed.

"She's talking, wow," Nicole said, shaking her head.

"Thanks again, Gavin," Sharon smiled.

"I'll send you the bill," he smirked. "Wine, a lot of wine would be an acceptable form of payment."

The call ended, and Sharon turned to Andy and both back to the group.

"There you have it," Andy gave a small shrug.

Julio gestured, "You live here," he said pointing at Andy. "You live in Arizona," he said pointing at Sharon.

"There you have it," Andy nodded, repeating himself. "Nic, maybe we could talk for a few minutes, yes?"

Nicole looked between Andy and Sharon and nodded slightly, "You wanted that picture, so sure. Sharon, ahh, nice to see you again."

"Nicole," Sharon smiled brightly at her. "I do hope you think about seeing your sister."

"Half," she said and gave a small shrug. "Enjoy your night."

Andy spoke briefly with Nicole, and Sharon was there to take a few pictures of the two of them. When they finished, they looked back to the tall tables where the team was still huddled around talking. The ball was odd. While many were dancing, departments and divisions were mainly sticking together in different corners of the ballroom. Major Crimes was no exception.

"Let's get out of here," Andy said after they spoke to Nicole again. "You, my dear, have exceeded my expectations."

"As you have done for mine, many, many times over," Sharon said, looping her arm through his. "I'm okay with this. It needed to be done."

"Thank you," he leaned in and kissed her quickly. "I don't care who sees that. I can't tell you how amazing you look. You take my breath away. I love your dress."

"This old thing?" Sharon grinned. "I do have a bone to pick with you, though. I had to buy a new dress."

He raised his eyebrows, "Sorry about that. I'll gladly pay for it because it's stunning."

"Oh," she swatted at him, "not about buying the dress for the event. I had other dresses, but none fit after having your daughter."

He flashed a huge grin, "My kid, huh? Well, I'm sorry my daughter did that to your figure, but your figure is fantastic, and the dress," he kissed his fingers to the sky. Sharon laughed.

"I'm convinced you're the only one who thinks so, but thank you," she grinned.

"Everyone is staring, not because Captain Raydor is back, but because you're the most gorgeous woman here," he leaned toward her to whisper. "Before we leave, do you want to dance?"

"I do," she gave a warm smile. "I want to dance with you, the man of my dreams, and then, I want to rescue Hannah or maybe we really need to rescue Gavin," she chuckled.

"You have the best ideas," he grinned. "Thank you for making my night. Let's enjoy the rest of it."


	86. Chapter 86

Andy flipped the file onto the stack that was growing on his desk. He sighed and sat back, lifting his hands over his head. That felt good. Today, he was feeling every bit his age, probably even older. Lack of sleep was the major cause, and he was just in a funk right now too. Work had a habit of doing that, especially paperwork, and he was drowning in paperwork today. That file had taken him an hour and a half to finish, and he was in need of a break. He stood and stretched, looking at the team as he did.

"I'm getting a cup of coffee. Anyone want one?" Andy asked. The room was quiet as everyone worked, but he caught Buzz look his way. He threw a smirk at Buzz who hadn't stopped looking at him all week since things had broken about Sharon. It was now Thursday, and the week had been a long one. They'd had a case, a relatively easy one that ended up going Sunday through early Wednesday. Since then, they'd been in paperwork mode. Andy had hated leaving Sharon on Sunday morning, even if she had to drive back home that day anyway, but it was the job. They'd had a good weekend, a little tension at the mention of Andy possibly keeping Hannah at his place some. That had not exactly been an argument, but he'd told Sharon it was a thought he'd been tossing around with the promise of taking time off if that were to ever happen. Andy's call out, even though he wasn't actually on call, was proof to Sharon that he didn't. have the help to keep Hannah at all. The conversation wasn't over, but it had left things a little strained. He hated that because they'd had fun at the ball and had enjoyed some time with Hannah before he'd been called in for his case. He'd left that conversation for later, leaving Sharon and Hannah to pack up at his house before they drove back to Flagstaff. Andy hated the way they'd left things, but it wasn't too strained because he'd returned home later to an empty house, but a decorated house. The Christmas tree, which they'd planned to decorate before he'd been called to a murder, had been decorated by Sharon. He had been smiling at it all week as he was in and out of his house. She'd done that for him, even with their discussion unfinished. He just hated that he'd had to leave with some tension about Hannah. He really wanted more time with her, but it was a fine line pushing for it.

"Sir, I couldn't help but notice you've added some photos to your desk area," Julio broke the silence of the team. He didn't look up at Andy, but he flipped a page as if he was still reading it and continued to focus on it. "Oh, and for the coffee, I'd love a cup, please."

Provenza finally glanced at Andy and frowned. He turned to speak to Julio, "It's hard to miss the pictures he's added. She's been gone a year, but now I feel like the captain is still watching me, glaring at me from Flynn's desk. Flynn, could you please explain why you need to have an 8x10 of HER staring at us? I've been sick to my stomach all week looking at it. Idiot," he grumbled.

Andy flashed a grin aimed at Provenza, "My desk, so my pictures. I don't have a problem with it at all. I see the things all of you have on your desks. I'd like to look at a picture of my family." He started to gestured around the room, "Your favorite captain," he winked at Provenza, "my family," he pointed to himself. "Besides Provenza, I thought you'd like seeing a picture of Hannah. I know how much you like my daughter."

"Sir, I can't believe you've been sitting on something that big," Julio looked at him. "I'm not sure whether to say you are a good friend or a horrible one," he grinned. "We are all like family."

"A picture of your kid would be one thing," Provenza looked up and pointed at Andy. "However," he scowled, "that picture is ruined because the captain is in it. Just put up a picture of the kid, not the two of them together."

"I love my picture, all the pictures," Andy gestured to them. "I've been wanting to put up pictures for a long time," he said, glancing at the photo in question and then smiling. It was hard not to smile at it, even though it was just a picture. Sharon and Hannah looked so happy. She was holding Hannah on her lap, both were flashing their gorgeous smiles at the camera. He'd brought it to work on Tuesday after they'd been able to go home Monday to get some rest in the middle of their case. He continued to smile as he looked back at the team. He found all of them looking at him.

"It is a little disturbing," Gabriel nodded in agreement. "It's like life-size Raydor. Lieutenant, I still can't believe the story there. That is something I never saw coming."

"Good morning detectives," they heard and all turned to the door. Gavin came in, throwing a wave at the group as he flashed his smile. "I have always wondered, though, is it really a good morning if you've found a dead body? I guess it's not for the body," he chuckled. The team just gave him a look, trying to understand his odd sense of humor.

"Gavin," Brenda stepped out of her office at the sight of Gavin and pursed her lips. "Did we have an appointment? I didn't put anything on my calendar, but I have been wrong before, not often, but at some point I have."

He chuckled lightly, "Brenda, no for once, I'm not here to bail you out of a problem. I'm still working on things for you, but that's not why I came by today. I was in the building and need to return something to its rightful owner," he gave a quick shrug, "in a roundabout way." He was being cryptic, and the team looked around to each other. Andy, still standing there, crossed his arms and tilted his head toward Gavin. "Ahh, Lieutenant Flynn, Andy," he said in a casual tone, "I've come to see you."

"What do you need to return to me, Gavin?" Andy took a couple steps toward him as Gavin walked across the room. "I can't say I've misplaced anything."

"No, not you, but you did leave a charge in my care the other night, and," he pointed around the room, "if that ever gets out, that I babysit," he huffed and waved his hand, "please, that will not go well for any of you. Andy, I believe this belongs to you, or to your little terror," he smirked, while he put down his briefcase, opened it, and handed over a ratty looking stuffed monkey. "I know she's attached to this, but as ratty as it looks, it needs to be put out of its misery," he flinched, giving it to Andy.

Andy gave him a warm smile as he accepted it. He nodded and held it in his hands, "Sharon thought maybe she'd left this in Flagstaff, and she's been tearing up her place looking for it. I've done the same at my house. Thanks," he gestured.

"Anything for my best friend and any of her charges. I still can't believe Sharon is chasing around that little bundle of energy," he let out a long sigh, "because she wore me out in just a few hours, but I do have to admit she's a cute one. And yes, I'm aware you played some part in that. The kid does have good genes," he smirked. " Sharon told me the cat was out of the bag here, and by the looks of it with your display of photos there," he gestured to the three pictures Andy had added this week, "I see it is."

"Gavin, you really are close with Captain Raydor? I just can't get over it. I never saw her as having any friends, being friendly with anyone, honestly, and now, I''m learning all of this, first about Andy and his involvement with her and now with you. You just don't strike me as being friends with her."

"Sharon and I go way back," Gavin smiled at Brenda. He turned back to Andy, "Andy can vouch for that."

"Oh yeah," Andy chuckled. "Don't ever try to get between Sharon and Gavin. I'd like to personally thank you, Gavin, for almost completely outfitting my daughter. I think the wardrobe you've bought her costs more than all of mine."

"Well, you're never too young to wear proper clothing, and someone has to teach her the finer things in life. Here, I thought I was done with buying baby clothing for Sharon's kids, at least until Emily had her own child, but then, you and Sharon go and-" he broke off, waving his hand in the air.

"I think we all get the picture, even worse, have the visual," Provenza scowled. "Let's keep Flynn's home life at home."

"Right," Gavin flashed a smile at everyone. "I''m not staying anyway. I had business in the building, but I did want to return the sad looking monkey to its owner," he smirked at Andy. "It really does need to be retired or thrown out, that toy. It's quite sad looking."

"Well loved," Andy, still holding onto the monkey, nodded as he looked at it. "The monkey is well loved, one of her favorite toys. I'll let Sharon know it has been located. Thanks," he nodded to Gavin. "Thanks for returning it and watching her. It meant a lot to me, to both of us."

"Anything for Sharon, and if it concerns Hannah, anything for her," he added. "I need to get going. Tell Hannah I might have to get her a new monkey for Christmas to retire that one," he nodded.

"She will probably want this one," he nodded again. "It's something I bought her, and she's just always liked it, without me ever trying. I guess sometimes things are just meant to be."

"Yes, well, I'll leave you with your monkey to return to your daughter. Bye," he flashed a wave and grabbed his briefcase to leave. "Until next time, everyone."

"Thanks again, Gavin. I'll save it for her when I see her again," Andy sighed and called to him as Gavin left. He continued to stare at the monkey, and when he looked up, he found the team staring at him.

"What?" Andy asked and shrugged.

"Sir, you're holding a ratty looking toy and smiling at it. It's a bit odd, not to mention I'm still having trouble just seeing you with Raydor," Julio frowned and shook his head. "I can't explain it."

"Maybe like 'Sleeping with the Enemy,' Julio?" Provenza offered.

"Lieutenant, please!" Brenda said, now disgusted. "I don't want that image."

"Chief, it's hard to hide that image when we are staring at a toddler picture , Flynn and Raydor's toddler, right there on his desk," Gabriel pointed. "Lieutenant Provenza, I think you coined it properly."

"Andy when will you be returning the monkey, or really, when do you see them again? I know my wife had her hands full when our kids were that age. I'm sure the captain is worn out keeping her alone all the time."

"Yeah, I'm not sure. Sharon works and has Hannah in daycare. I hate not seeing her all the time. It's complicated," he offered.

"You have no idea how complicated," Provenza grumbled to the group. "It's been complicated for a couple years now."

"I should see them at Christmas, just not sure exactly when. I mean, we are on call for Christmas, but we'll see," Andy said.

"As long as I don't have to see the captain at Christmas," Provenza gave him a nod. "Now, if you happen to have Hannah in my presence, I'll manage," he shrugged slightly.

Andy sighed and looked down at the toy still in his hands. He just shook his head.

"Sir, you know we are going to tease you about this constantly, right?" Julio grinned.

Andy waved at them, almost brushing them off. He looked to the monkey again and then to Brenda, "Chief, my paperwork is done, ready for your signature. I need some air." He looked to the team, "I can't do this anymore, not now."

Andy knew the team was watching as he gathered his phone and wallet. He turned and walked out, the ratty toy in hand, and he didn't say another word. Provenza stood, ready to go after him, and Andy heard Provenza follow him to the elevator.

"Flynn! What's gotten into you?" Provenza called.

"I'm done. This isn't working. I've gotta get out of here, clear my head. Just let me go," he waved.

Provenza raised an eyebrow at Andy and watched him pace. He just nodded and cleared his throat, "Just go to a meeting. Don't do something stupid. Call me later. If you don't, I'll call you; I'll drive over and kick down your door if I have to in order to make sure you aren't drinking."

Andy stopped pacing at that and turned to Provenza, raising his eyebrow at that, "Really?"

"Okay," Provenza rolled his eyes, "I won't kick down your door, but if necessary, I'll bring Julio with me to do just that."

"Just let me think. It's been a long week. That stupid case interrupted my weekend with Sharon and Hannah. Sharon and I had a disagreement about Hannah, and it's been bothering me. I just-" he paused and let out his elevator opened, and he stepped on it quickly. "I'll talk to you later. My work is done."

Andy left the building, not sure where he wanted to go. He ended up driving around for hours, finally, ready to put his thoughts in order. His drive took him on a slight detour, and he finally parked his car and turned off the engine. He ran his hand over his face, the fatigue of the day hitting him. It was odd because while he was exhausted, he was also wide awake. He stepped out of the car and grabbed the stuffed monkey. He'd been looking at it all day, throwing quick glances at it as he continued to drive. It was late now. Provenza had called him twice, and Andy finally answered, telling Provenza he was fine. The cool air hit him hard as he closed up his car. He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone for a moment. He typed out his message and sent it. He waited, hoping for an answer, and one came in a different form.

Andy glanced up as the porch light came on, and he walked up the sidewalk, "Andy?" Sharon called as she opened the door. He couldn't help the wide smile that appeared on his face. She was a beautiful vision to him, and as he walked toward her, she pulled her sweater closed; it really was cold, and the snow was crunching on his feet. "What are you doing here?"

He continued to smile as he walked to her, and he held up the monkey, "I wanted the pumpkin to have her monkey."

Sharon pursed her lips and tilted her head, trying to figure out why Andy, who lived seven hours away, was now, at this late hour, on her doorstep. She cleared her throat, "Andy, it's Thursday evening. What are you doing here? You should be at home after a long day at work."

Andy arrived in front of Sharon and smiled down at her as she continued to talk. He let her finish and then leaned down to kiss her, "I needed that too. I figured the drive was worth it if Hannah got her monkey, and I got a kiss. Look, I'm sorry we argued over the weekend. I'm sorry I was called out for work when I was supposed to be off. I needed you to know that."

"Okay," she said, still a bit surprised. "Come in out of the cold. It's three degrees right now."

"I noticed," he nodded. "A coat would have been a good idea."

"Calling and letting me know you were coming would have been a good idea. What are you doing here? I think Hannah is okay without her toy for a few days," she sighed, closing the door.

Andy gave her a small shrug, and then, he opened his arms to hug her. "I needed to come here, to see you. I think I'm done."

"Done?" Sharon said, pulling back and looking up at him with a questionable glance. "Andy, what is wrong? What are you talking about now?"

"I'm done, Sharon, done. I'm done doing that drive, well," he gave a loud sigh, "maybe a few more times, but I'm done. I'm out."

"Andy," she shook her head and continued, "you aren't making any sense."

He pushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear and rested his hands on her elbows while he spoke to her, "You know how you've been mentioning to me that you need to figure out what you are doing here?" Andy gestured around at her apartment. "You've been here a year now, and your lease is now on a month to month. You mentioned maybe buying something. I'm done. I'm here, hoping to get in on that action."

"Andy, you are almost cryptic," she frowned.

"I am done with L.A.," he told her. "I finally get it, the way you could just turn it off and leave. Something hit me today when I was at work, actually after Gavin dropped off the monkey. Something just clicked. I want to be done. I want to be here with you. It's the only place I want to be. I don't want to share Hannah. I mean," he sighed, "I do, but I want to raise her with you, in one house. I'm not trying to define things or even define the house, but I want to do that with you. I'm not here asking for more, I mean, like marriage or anything like that right now. I know you've had a rough time with relationships. I just want to be with you, however that looks. I want Hannah to know me and not just for a weekend when I drop in on the two of you. I guess, Sharon, that, I'm yours if you want me."

Sharon bit her lip and shook her head, "Andy, that is a lot. I don't want you making a rash decision right now, something you will regret later and resent me for in the future."

He ran his hands up and down her shoulders, trying to reassure her, "Sharon, it's been bothering me for months. I am not looking back, just forward, and I want to be with you. If you need things to stay Iike they are, I'll cooperate. I won't like it because I miss you and Hannah all the time, but I will deal with it."

Sharon teared up, "I didn't move here looking for a relationship."

"Look, I get it," he added, and she shook her head to quiet him.

"I realize we have made many mistakes along the way, mistakes I wish we could just correct," she told him, looking up at him. She let out her breath and grew quiet. He nodded.

"Me too, and I'd start with that paperwork," he sighed.

Sharon gave him a sympathetic smile and leaned up to kiss him sweetly, "I know. What's done is done, and I realize we have come a long way from that. I didn't come here hoping to create a life with you, but now," she shrugged again, "it's all I want. I can't promise anything as far as marriage. I just don't know. I'm not there."

"I'm not asking," Andy held up his hands in defense. "If it happens, great, but it's a piece of paper."

"Hmm," she nodded, "and we know the damage a piece of paper can have."

"Right," he sighed and dropped his head. "A piece of paper-"

She gave a nod again too, "A piece of paper can make or break your life. Funny how something that simple can ruin or bring joy to someone."

"We almost ruined things with a piece of paper," he told her, looking at her.

"Agreed," she nodded. "Fresh starts come with paper, say in mortgage paperwork," she bit her lip looking at him. "You really want to stay?"

"I have no doubt. I'll retire. I'll find a job. Maybe I can be a rent-a-cop or something at the university, you know," he shrugged. "I can walk the sexiest professor to her car each day."

"I'm not a professor," she chuckled, dropping her head.

"Kind of vain, Sharon, assuming I was talking about you," he chuckled and winked at her. She grinned too and clasped onto his arms again, looking up at him.

"Sleep on it," she nodded at him. "Sleep on the idea, the thought of retiring and joining us here. I will sleep on the idea of buying a place. I have already thought about getting out of this apartment, and maybe I just need someone to help me find the right place."

Andy pulled her to his side and started to walk across the room, "Oh, I'll sleep on it, but I've had almost 10 hours to think about it now," he chuckled. "I drove around a lot before I came here. I picked up a few things at home too before I hit the road. Too bad I seemed to pick up a bug or something on the way here," he faked a cough. "I should probably call in sick tomorrow for work. I'll sleep on it, but let me tell you-waking up to you, to Hannah," he closed his eyes and smiled. When he opened them, Sharon was looking up at him, "I have no doubt I'll be okay with my decision."

"What about your kids?" Sharon asked as they crossed the room.

"Having one out of three like me right now isn't the best, as far as odds, but it's better than nothing. I've decided to work on the relationship I know I can save. I'll continue working on the others, but those are going to be a work in progress. Hannah, I can be there for her now. I want to be her dad, all the time. Nic and Nate, I can only keep trying. Perhaps if we find some house, complete with those papers to make it our home, they will come to visit. Maybe they will have a relationship with me, with their sister one day."

"Half sister," Sharon corrected him, nudging him. "Don't forget that."

"Right," Andy chuckled. "How could I forget? So," he turned to her and pulled her into his arms just outside her bedroom door, "Captain Raydor do I have your permission to unpack my car, which is packed full of things that would like to move to Arizona, and stay here with you, even permanently, I mean, after I go back to L.A., give Provenza the bad news, and pack up for good?"

Sharon pursed her lips, "We thought that stupid case was the journey, the drive across the country that started all of this." She shook her head, "It wasn't the whole journey; it was just one path of the journey. I would love for you to join us here. I would love to make a family."

"Make?" Andy raised an eyebrow. "Umm?"

She swatted at him and chuckled, "You are not understanding me. That ship has sailed. Consider Hannah a miracle. I meant we can make the three of us a family."

"Whew," he whistled and winked. "I love her, but I'm old; you're old too."

"She's pretty amazing," Sharon smiled.

"Anything from you is amazing," he smiled. "So, I can stay?"

"I can't undo the past, but we can speak to Gavin about that paperwork," she squeezed his shoulders. "He's going to hate me to make him look into that, to filing something, whatever we have to do, but we'll do it. You are Hannah's father, and I'd like nothing more than to share my life with you."

"So, that means you'll share the covers?" Andy winked. "I hate to tell you, Sharon, but you steal the covers. I need to get that off my chest," he sighed loudly.

"We can negotiate," she smiled at him and tugged on his arm. "Let's take a small detour before we go to bed. Our daughter is sleeping down the hall, and I would love to check on her with you."

"Oh, I can finally deliver her monkey to her," Andy grinned. "That's really why I came."

"I know she will be happy to see you in the morning," Sharon said, wrapping her arm around him arm. "I'm happy you are here. Let's check on her and perhaps we can then privately celebrate the decisions we've made."

"I knew I made the right decision," he flashed a grin. "Let's take a look at that beautiful girl of ours."

THE END


End file.
